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#ThePregnancyDiaries
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~ The Gatlinburg Trip 3-6-19:  Our second time stopping somewhere off the map. Another one of the many beautiful, hidden & remote spots in the park. That’ 3 waterfalls one on top of another. I’ve never seen one waterfall, let alone 3 up until this point. Even though I was almost always sick during this trip because I was pregnant, I still enjoyed stopping at these places so much. It was like going to a magical land & stopping at these spots off the map make that feel even more so. It’s difficult to put into words and to try to justify with pictures how beautiful this place genuinely is.  
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The Great Smoky Mountains National Park;  ~ On our first day in Gatlinburg, we went through the park & walked around to explore. We found so many awesome spots. M stopped & got so many great pictures of me. He’s my number 1 fan. He really is. 
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While on our trip to Gatlinburg, after we went to explore the park for the first time, we decided to take a look at the mall that was in the middle of the strip downtown.  I had high expectations for this mall, seeing as how it was the only one that’s in the strip like that. While the selection for shopping inside the mall was very poor, the actual inside of the building looked really cool. Like an old cabin mall or something.  I wouldn’t go out of my way to go back in there next time that we go. If you like looking at the inside of a building, this is your place. If you want to shop, just stick to the actual strip. You’ll find a lot more there than you will wasting your time going into the mall. I still had a good time here, though. 
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Christmas Eve at Riverbanks Zoo, with my love.  If you’ve never seen the lights at the zoo for Christmas, I would highly suggest going. 
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Our baby shower. I was 6 months pregnant at the time & it was surprisingly hot that day. It seems like after the shower, time started going by twice as fast. So hard to believe that this was took 5 months ago & now instead of being in my belly, Liam’s here. 
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The Pregnancy Diaries:  When I was pregnant, I was so scared that I wasn’t going to be a good Mother. I was so scared that I wasn’t going to be able to do this. I was just finding out who I was in the world, how could I raise a life & send him/her out into the world when they get older?   I thought about my Mom. I thought about how she had me when she was 17 when she had me, her & my Dad got married, got divorced. She met my Step-Dad & they had 4 more kids together. He wasn’t always there & neither was my Dad. There were plenty of times were she took care of the 5 of us by herself. She worked, she took care of us, did the house work, she did everything for us & never once asked for a break. Ever. She was the definition of “strong”. she carried on for us, throughout years of pain. I didn’t know that she was hurting.  But she carried on for us. I decided that if she could do it with the 5 of us, I HAD to be able to do it with just one.  I said I would do any and every thing I could ever do in my power to help him, support him & take care of him. He is my whole heart.  I couldn’t ever picture a life without him. He is the reason I get up and the reason that I go to bed every night.  Some days are hard, but you just push through because there’s so many good moments with your child. 
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My second ultrasound of Liam.  I had only had one other ultrasound, that was very early in my pregnancy. M couldn’t be there because he was working and I started to have pain, so I went to the hospital. I saw Liam on the screen, but at that time, I was only about 10 weeks, so he wasn’t as developed as he is in these ultrasounds.  Fast-forward... It’s the night before Valentine's Day & M & I were going to get our ultrasound at 9:30am on Valentine's Day. We were going to take his Aunt Bev with us because we weren’t going to find out the gender, we were going to have a gender reveal & do a party with it.  Well... I had wondered and wondered what he would be. I wanted him to be a girl so bad. I looked at m & told him “Just find out with me tomorrow and let’s pretend like we don’t know.” He said he would think about it and he would let me know.  The next morning, we woke up & I asked him if he had made his mind up & he said that he was okay with finding out. We went to Aunt Bev’s house, picked her up & went to the Drs. office.  We waited for my name to be called. The nurse called my name and we went back to the ultrasound room.  She was moving the wand around & all of a sudden, you see his little peepee. I was crying already because I hadn’t seen him this developed. I said “It’s a boy, isn’t it?” M had the biggest smile on his face. He got his boy.  We told Aunt Bev to keep the secret that we knew. Do not tell anyone because his Mom had put a lot of time and money and effort into this party to surprise us with the gender, but we had to know. We couldn’t wait any longer. She promised to not tell them, a promise which she kept very well, and we went home.  It was so awesome to get a 3D ultrasound. I loved getting to see his little face. We could already tell that he looked like me. He has my lips and nose and eyes. Goodness, I love him so. Being his Momma is exactly what I was put on this Earth to do.. I know it every time I look in his eyes or every time that he smiles at me. he’s the best thing to ever happen to me. he brought such a light into my soul that I really needed. I needed someone to love in the way that I love him. 
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Family;  Here’s my “new” family. My love, M, his mother and father. They took me in and have treated me like their own daughter since day one. Both of them have been there for me in some of the best and worst times. I couldn’t ever begin to repay the both of them for all that they have done for me. They get on my nerves, but God do I love them.  I thank God every day for letting me find such a good man and family to be with. It makes my heart sing to know that I’ve found my place in this world and I don’t have to wonder or waste any more time. I can and have started my life and plan to continue living it just the way I am. I am happy.
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The Great Smoky Mountains National Park.  The second day we were in Gatlinburg, we decided to pull over & stop to take a look at the view. It was so worth it. Living in South Carolina, all you ever see is sand, sand and more sand. So when you see something as beautiful as the mountains, it gives you the best feeling.  There was a fire in the park back in 2016, that lasted for a while & did quite a bit of damage. As you can see in the background, some trees are fine, but then some are still charred. It’s like magical land there, but you also see the great misfortune that the area suffered from the fire. One of my favorite stops in Gatlinburg. 
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