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starshine583 · 3 years

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New Girl on the Block (6)

(the next chapter is heeeeeeeeeeeere!!! hope you guys like it!! there’s also a mini series connected to this called Journal Entries, though I don’t know how long I’m going to be continuing it. Check it out if you feel like it!)

Ch.1 / Ch.5 / Ch.7

Chapter 6: Don’t Be Suspicious

Marinette tilted her head from side to side, doing a subtle dance to the music that played through her earbuds. She tapped her pencil on the desk with the beat and mouthed Jagged Stone’s lyrics as they came, thoroughly enjoying the electric guitar in the background. At Dupont, listening to music with earbuds was a ‘no-no’ despite her efforts. Principle Damocles, along with a few of the teachers, insisted that it hindered their drive to focus and work on school. The thought wasn’t entirely misguided- Marinette was already re-reading this textbook page for the third time with no hope of comprehension in sight -but she enjoyed the liberties that came with her new school nonetheless.

In all honesty, Rosemary didn’t allow headphones either, but the librarian wasn’t a snitch, and Marinette wasn’t a saint. So, during her assigned study halls, she would hop over to the school’s library and jam out to Jagged Stone. It was a nice reprieve from the strict guidelines that Rosemary held for their students and gave her time to unwind before her next round of overly-complicated classes.

She was about ready to start banging her head to the song- the lyrics were just too good -when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Her gaze flicked upwards towards Claude, who was sitting beside her. He’d suggested that they study together during the one study hall they shared, and Marinette, being friends with him and genuinely enjoying his company, agreed. He was actually the one who told her about the lax librarian in the first place.

Once Claude was certain that he had her attention, he tapped a finger to his ear, silently requesting her to take out an earbud. Marinette gladly obliged and paused her Jagged Stone music to hear him better.

“What are you listening to? You look like you’re really jamming out.” He asked curiously.

Marinette held up her phone for him to see the song cover. “Just Jagged Stone. He normally helps me think, but I’m starting to wonder if that only works for design sketches.”

Claude gasped so hard that she thought he was going to choke, and an ear-splitting grin spread across his lips.

“You listen to Jagged Stone too? He’s one of my favorites!” The brunette said enthusiastically.

Marinette straightened with delight. “Seriously? He’s been a favorite of mine since I was twelve!”

“Ten!” Claude trilled.

Elation bubbled up in Marinette’s chest. Finally! Someone to talk to about Jagged Stone! She hadn’t found a kindred spirit since Luka and.. well.. She hasn’t met another Jagged Stone fan in a while.

“Did you hear the new album that just came out?” She asked, folding her arms across the table and leaning onto them. When she first came to Rosemary, she’d naturally assumed that no one there listened to rock. Everyone was prepped and poised and rich. Their tastes were bound to be much ‘finer’ than hers.

Looking at it now, though, it made perfect sense for Claude to listen to Jagged Stone. He was an energetic and passionate person, and that’s what Rock n’ Roll was all about. She also had to remind herself that she was now a Rosemary student. If she listened to rock music, it was possible that her other classmates did as well. The school wasn’t a complete hive mind, after all.

Claude scoffed playfully. “Did I? I was the first in line for the cd! The songs were a total masterpiece!”

Before Marinette could reply, another scoff interrupted their conversation, one that wasn’t nearly as playful. She glanced across the table to Felix, who had looked up from his book. He’d shared the same study hall hour that they did, and Claude, being who he was, coaxed the blond into joining them in the library.

Well.. ‘coax’ probably wasn’t the right word. It was more of Claude dragging Marinette to the table that Felix was already sitting at and convincing Felix to stay seated once they got there.

Felix’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, and the corners of his lips twitched in a scowl, the same way they always did when he was about to criticize something.

“No type of rock music could ever be considered a ‘masterpiece’,” He stated matter-of-factly, “especially not that man’s noise.”

Marinette gasped, slapping a hand to her chest in offense. “Jagged Stone’s music is not ‘noise’.”

“Forget it, Mari.” Claude cut in, putting a hand on her shoulder as he shot Felix a glare. “This guy will never understand Jagged’s art.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “I’d hardly call throwing a bunch of instruments together and screaming into the microphone ‘art’.”

Marinette crossed her arms and huffed. Jagged Stone didn’t scream. His voice was just rough, but even if he did scream, that shouldn’t give Felix the right to be rude. Everyone had their own tastes. Marinette didn’t go around bashing XY fans, now, did she?

“Have you even listened to him?” She asked indignantly.

“I’ve had the unfortunate experience of listening to rock, yes. That’s how I know it’s in bad taste.”

Marinette’s fingers dug into her skin. “But have you listened to Jagged Stone?”

The grated words caused Felix to pause.

“..I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

Marinette sighed and tugged out one of her earbuds to hand it to him. “Here.”

Felix rose a brow, not moving an inch. “What do you expect me to do with that?”

“You’re going to listen to at least one of Jagged Stone’s songs.” She told him. “Then you can tell me what you think.”

Felix was an extremely opinionated person. He tended to say exactly what he thought without considering how it would affect others around him. At first, his snaps and snide remarks put her on edge. She would worry about angering him and making him dislike her from the things she’d say or do. But after spending more time around him, Marinette realized that he wasn’t angry as much as he was easily irritated. He would get annoyed at things that he viewed as out of place or illogical, then, after fixing the problem or telling someone else to fix it, he would move on. It just so happened that Allegra, Allan, and Claude were constantly doing things that were ‘illogical’, ‘unnecessary’, and- her personal favorite -‘downright preposterous’.

That being said, Marinette still didn’t enjoy challenging Felix when she disagreed with him. His words were sharp and blunt, whether he meant them to be or not, and arguing was never her strong suit, anyway. Therefore, she found it best to merely listen and watch as the rest of the group continued to push Felix’s buttons relentlessly.

Right now, however, was a different story. Right now he was denouncing an incredibly talented artist who he hadn’t even bothered to listen to before condemning, and Marinette wouldn’t stand for it.

Felix’s gaze shifted to the earbud. She could see the command turning in his mind, could see him deciding between being difficult and resisting or simply being nice for once.

“..Fine,” He relented, taking the offered headphone, “but don’t be upset when my opinion doesn’t change.”

Marinette tried not to smile too much and quickly started scrolling through her playlist to choose a song. If she only had one shot to convince Felix of Jagged’s greatness, she needed to play one of his best works.

“Wow..” Claude remarked. “You actually got him to listen to a song. That’s farther than I’ve ever gotten.”

Felix rolled his eyes, but refrained from commenting. Marinette didn’t reply either. She didn’t want to waste the opportunity she’d been given by joking with Claude.

She found a song a few seconds later and eagerly set the phone between them as it began to play. This had been a song that she’d listened to for at least a week or two before moving on to the next one. She knew the lyrics inside out and could quite possibly sing them in her sleep. If anything was going to convince Felix that rock was also a musical art, it would be this song.

Felix’s expression twisted with annoyance as the drums kicked up to join the electric base.

“See, this is what I’m talking about.” He sighed. “The notes are overbearing and chaotic. How can you enjoy it?”

“Because they’re not chaotic.” Marinette replied, gathering all the patience she could. “It might get loud sometimes, but the drums and guitar create a steady beat for Jagged Stone to sing to.”

Just then, Jagged Stone’s voice rang through the headphones, gruff and strong. Marinette’s lips quirked up into an involuntary smile, but Felix, unsurprisingly, wasn’t as thrilled as she was.

“He doesn’t even sing about anything important.” He said. “The words are completely random.”

Marinette resisted the urge to groan. How could someone be so smart yet so stupid at the same time?

“The lyrics aren’t random. And they might not be important to you, but they are to him.” She tried to explain. “Jagged writes about the things he loves and tells it to the world through song. His music is full of passion, and it drives others to be more passionate too. Myself included.”

Felix glanced up at her for a moment, no doubt scrutinizing her claims, and tisked. He then put a hand over his borrowed earbud and closed his eyes to try to listen to the music better.

Although it was a small, begrudging act, Marinette couldn’t help grinning. He didn’t like rock music, didn’t even want to entertain the idea of liking it, yet here he was, listening to Jagged Stone’s music because she asked him to. He was trying hard to understand something she enjoyed, and that meant a lot, especially when one considers how stubborn he can be.

“I suppose I can understand what you mean..” Felix mumbled a few seconds later. “The notes aren’t nearly as melodic as what I’m used to, but it must take some form of talent to mash banging instruments together and make it sound decent.”

Marinette beamed. It was a backhanded comment, but she could accept it.

“Okay, my turn.” She said, extending her hand towards him.

Felix frowned. “Pardon?”

“You said that Jagged Stone isn’t what you’re used to, right? I wanna know what you’re used to.” She replied matter-of-factly. “Let me listen to one of your songs.”

Felix’s frown deepened, but he pulled out his earbuds to hand one to her.

“I suppose I could show you the one I’ve been listening to recently..” He muttered to himself. “Just be careful with these. They’re expensive.”

Marinette happily plucked one of the earbuds out of Felix’s hands and put it on. The cord between the earbuds was shorter than hers, so they both had lean across the table to share. She didn’t mind the closeness, though. They’d only be there for a moment.

When the music finally began, all Marinette could really do was snort. Classical music. Of course Felix would listen to classical music. Each note had a purpose, place, and expression in the song. Yes, other music had that too, but most of the time, there were words that people sang to excuse repetitiveness of the beat. Classical music had to carry its own weight, and that made all the difference.

“What?” Felix asked, referring to her laugh.

Marinette put a hand to her mouth with an apologetic smile. “Oh, nothing. It just makes sense for you to listen to classical music.”

Felix rose a brow, but she waved him off. There was no point explaining it.

“Anyway, I can see why you would like this, because it’s really pretty, but I, personally, find it a little boring.” She said honestly. “The notes are too slow. I would fall asleep before I could finish a song.”

“It’s not just a song, though.” Felix argued. “It’s a story. Listen closer.”

Marinette did as she was told and closed her eyes, putting a hand over her earbud like Felix had done earlier. The piano and violin mingled together in a soft symphony, lulling up and down as the symphony progressed. A lone guitar played a joyful tune in the background.

“The protagonist is admiring their lover.” Felix explained. “They’re making promises of being together always.”

Drums bubbled up behind the piano and violin as the guitar faded, causing the music to shift into a tense atmosphere.

“The father of the lover is coming between them, forcing a separation.”

Violin strings shake with the drums, and the piano gradually grows louder to emphasize the ominous presence. Once the tension is drawn out to its absolute limit, the music breaks with bursts of violins and trumpets, signifying the beginning of a fight.

“The protagonist refuses to back down, and although they are worried, they stand up to fight for their love anyway.”

Marinette cracked an eye open to look at Felix. His eyes were now closed as well, and a soft smile ghosted his lips. She hadn’t taken him to be a romantic, but he appeared to be deeply engrossed in the ‘story’. Did he read romance novels often? She assumed all of the books he carried around were about historical facts or intricate philosophies, not trials of love or daring confessions.

“Do you hear it?” Felix asked, his eyes abruptly opening. Their heads were already close from sharing headphones, but his looking up only brought them closer. It was a miracle their noses didn’t bump together.

Marinette froze, her eyes widening at being caught. Was it weird that she was staring at him before he opened his eyes? It shouldn’t be, right? Staring at your friend wasn’t a crime.

Say something. Marinette’s mind screamed. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t say anything. She could hardly even think straight. She was too lost in the roundness of his eyes or how long his eyelashes were or whether she was too close to him and have his eyes always had those little specks of blue in them?

Marinette squeaked, finally gaining enough sense to lurch backwards. Felix’s earbud was tugged out of her ear, but she didn’t care. Right now she needed distance.

“S-sorry!” She blurted out. “I-I mean- uhm -the music was fine, or- great. I-.. I could really hear the- the story.”

Her hands covered her face in a vain attempt to hide her blush. Her cheeks were absolutely burning from embarrassment. How could she get so flustered? Wasn’t it her idea to share the earbuds?

Felix was strangely quiet as he picked up the abandoned earbud and paused the song. Oh gosh, he probably thought she was a total weirdo now. (If he hadn’t thought that already.)

Marinette peeked through her fingers, searching his face for judgement, but he simply wrapped the cord of the earbuds around his phone. Although his eyebrows were furrowed slightly, the rest of his expression was neutral. Was that a good sign or no?

“Yes, that’s why I enjoy it.” He finally said once his phone was put away. His tone was graciously composed, not acknowledging her humiliating outburst. “The composers put real effort and work into their music. They carefully aligned each note to make sure it portrays their story and theme correctly. That’s what I consider to be a masterpiece.”

Marinette nodded. “Y-Yeah.. That makes sense.. I still think Jagged Stone’s music is also a work of art, though.”

She settled back into her original seat, as did Felix.

“Agree to disagree, I suppose.” Felix shrugged.

An astounded laugh came from the left of them, and the two turned back to Claude. Marinette had admittedly forgotten that he was there.

“I, for one, am impressed.” The brunette announced. “You actually got Felix to entertain a different opinion. He never says ‘agree to disagree’! It’s always just ‘you’re wrong’.”

Felix scoffed. “Don’t act like I’m unreasonable. I’m stubborn in my opinions because they’re logical and sound, while your arguments against them are hardly either.”

Claude rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Do you think you guys can argue about cephalopods now? I’m supposed to be doing a report on them for science.”

Marinette chuckled, finally relaxing in her chair again. “Sorry, Claude. I don’t have any strong opinions about cephalopods.”

“Maybe if you read a book every once in a while, you’d find something to write about.” Felix added, being ever the supportive one.

“Hey! I do read!” Claude defended. “I just don’t know what to write about. Should I argue a random point about cephalopods or should I just write about a bunch of facts? Am I supposed to list my sources or can I say whatever I want? What does the school board want from me?”

“Claude, you’re a sophomore.” Felix stated bluntly. “If you don’t know how to write papers now, I can’t help you.”

Claude groaned and sunk into his chair, and Marinette offered a comforting pat on the shoulder.

“Anyway,” He grumbled, rubbing his hands over his face, “speaking of cephalopods, have you guys heard about the new aquarium exhibit that they just opened at Aquarium de Paris?”

Marinette perked up. “Wait, really? I didn’t know about that!”

“Yeah, I think it’s something to do with the sharks.” Claude smiled. “They’ve got this new tank and everything.”

Marinette wiggled in her seat with delight. She always loved aquariums. “That’s so cool! I’ll have to ask Maman and Papa about going to see it.”

“Oh, why don’t we all go together?” Claude suggested. “I wanna see the new exhibit too, and I’m sure Allegra and Allan will want to go.”

“Sure! When do you think you’ll be free to go see it?”

Claude leaned back in his chair as he thought about it. “Uh.. maybe this Sunday? I don’t think I have anything going on then. Does that work for you?”

“I’ll have to check with my parents, but that should be okay. Do you want me to tell Allan about it during our next class?”

Claude nodded. “Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll tell Allegra.”

Marinette smiled and turned to Felix. “Are you gonna come with us, Felix?”

A part of her felt awkward asking, as Felix didn’t normally enjoy the group outings, but a bigger part of her would feel guilty if she didn’t invite him when they were inviting everyone else.

Felix glanced up from his book with a questioning gaze. He.. hadn’t been listening.

“We’re going to Aquarium de Paris this Sunday. Are you coming?” Claude asked again.

Felix shrugged. “I suppose Allegra will drag me along either way, so why not?”

Marinette bit her lip to hold back a giddy squeal. This was going to be great! Getting to see all of the new fish and getting to spend time with her new friends? What could be better than that?

~~~~~~

Felix drew in a deep breath as he made his way towards the school exit. Aside from the soft chattering and echoing footsteps of the students around him, it was quiet, and he reveled in the silence while he could. Leaving school alone was a rarity now, especially since Marinette joined their group. Allegra, Claude, and Allan had always been insistent on smothering him with activities, but with the new ‘recruit’, the time they spent together has doubled. The trio wanted everyone to be together constantly. That included Felix.

He sighed, shifting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. The numerous study dates, get-togethers, and group lunches had pushed his social battery to its absolute limit. So the small reprieve was greatly appreciated.

It did feel strange, though, not hearing Claude’s rambling or Allegra’s scolding or Marinette’s laughter. They’d become a steady background noise to the rest of his daily life, and now that they were absent, Felix found himself glancing over his shoulder, waiting for one of them to pop up.

Of course, no one came, and Felix forced his eyes forward to push away the growing anticipation. There was no need to mull over it. He would see them tomorrow at school, and on top of that, they had another outing scheduled for this Sunday to visit the aquarium. By the end of the week, Felix would certainly have his fill of seeing their faces or hearing their voices.

The sun beat down on Felix as he stepped outside, and he welcomed it whole-heartedly. The biting cold of January was never something he fancied, save for the fact that it kept everyone else indoors.

He started down the front stairs, letting his mind wander back to the conversation he’d had with Marinette during their shared study hall. Her boldness during their discussion of musical preferences had surprised him, since she usually steered clear of any confrontations. He couldn’t blame her for her sudden tenacity, though. People tended to be extremely attached to their music, and Felix had criticized her tastes. It only made sense for her to defend herself.

On that note, Jagged Stone? Really? He’d assumed Claude was the only one to have such bizarre tastes. Nevertheless, if Marinette approved of the man, Felix wasn’t going to question too much. She still created those phenomenal designs, after all, meaning she must have a good eye for things.

Bits and pieces of the song that Marinette had requested him to listen to resurfaced in his mind. If he was being honest, it wasn’t as horrible as he’d claimed, but blaring drums and pounding beats simply didn’t help him relax like classical music did.

Felix closed his eyes briefly as he recalled the piano piece he’d shown Marinette a few minutes later. It was a favorite of his, one that he listened to often while reading alone in his room, and he did his best to explain the mastery of the artwork. The passion, the yearning, the love- it can be difficult to express, especially when he hadn’t experienced those things first hand. That’s the main reason he found the piece so interesting.

The image of Marinette’s delicate features flicked through his mind. He’d looked up at her to gawk her reaction, to see if she understood what he was trying to say, but he’d found her staring right back at him instead. Her almond-shaped eyes were round with shock, and he couldn’t help thinking about the first time they met, when he first realized how blue her irises were. They almost reminded him of tiny, swirling oceans, deep and mesmerizing.

When she jerked back a few seconds later, something akin to disappointment had laced through Felix’s stomach, and even now, he wasn’t sure why that was. Perhaps he wanted to admire the color a tad longer.

Either way, Marinette plopped into her seat, her cheeks flushing a dark scarlet, and it was only then that Felix noticed his own racing heartbeat. Again, he was at a loss for the cause. Was it because she startled him by lurching backwards? He didn’t remember flinching.

The screeching of tires pulled Felix from his thoughts, and his gaze turned to the road in front of him. A silver car had parked on the curb.

A frown tugged at the corner of Felix’s lips. That was odd. Parking on the curbs near Rosemary wasn’t allowed unless someone was being picked up or dropped off, yet no students were waving the car down or exiting the vehicle.

The back door to the car swung open, causing Felix to raise a brow. Spoke too soon.

A boy jumped out of the car, his golden blonde hair shining in the sunlight as he ran towards the front steps. Something about him seemed familiar, but Felix couldn’t place his finger on what.

The boy slowed to a stop in front of him and offered a friendly smile. Yeah, Felix has definitely seen this guy before. But where?

“Hey!” The stranger greeted. “Sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for a girl. Her name is Marinette?”

Felix narrowed his eyes at the name. Marinette as in Marinette Dupain-Cheng? As in, the girl who was inside talking to Allegra right now? Why would he be looking for her?

“She’s about this tall.” The boy continued, holding his hand just above his shoulder for reference. “She’s got raven-colored hair that she normally puts into pigtails, and wears pink capris and a black jacket. She would have started attending this school about two weeks ago?”

The more he spoke, the more suspicious Felix became. This guy knew a lot about Marinette, but Felix didn’t know a thing about him. Was he a friend? An enemy? Marinette didn’t mention meeting someone after school. Not that she was obligated to share her personal connections and schedules, but what if this was the person that’s been wanting to ‘talk’ with her? The stalker?

Don’t overreact. Felix told himself. This could be a perfectly harmless visit from an old friend of hers. Just because I wasn’t aware of him coming doesn’t mean he has ill intentions.

...but just in case..

“Apologies, but have we met?” Felix asked, dodging the blonde’s question. He didn’t want to disclose Marinette’s location unless he had her permission. There were too many cases where an unknowing co-worker blabbed about the victim’s schedule to the stalker, and he refused to be one of those idiots.

The boy pulled a sheepish expression and rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, no, we haven’t, but I can see why you would think that. My face is kind of everywhere with all of the ads Father’s had me model in recently.”

Felix blinked, the mix of familiarity and the boy’s words clicking together in his mind. Of course! This was that same, obnoxious face that Paris has been obsessed with for the better half of five years. The amount of billboards and posters of this guy that were plastered around the city was enough to make Felix gag. He couldn’t look in any direction without seeing him!

“You’re Adrien Agreste.” He stated, a hint of irritation accidentally rising to his tone. Not only has this ‘sunshine child’- or so Paris called him -been plaguing his eyes for at least two years since Gabriel upped his campaigning game, he also happens to have the same name that was scribbled on Marinette’s birthday cards, the ones she’d offered to give away. Was that a coincidence?

Felix was leaning towards ‘no’.

“Yep.” Adrien chuckled. “That’s me. Anyway, is she here? I really need to talk with her.”

“He really just wants to ‘talk’.”

Marinette’s bitter words resurfaced in his mind, and Felix narrowed his eyes. The chances of Adrien Agreste being an enemy were steadily rising.

“I’m afraid I don’t know a girl by that name or description,” he lied, “and there hasn’t been a new student here since last year.”

If Adrien turned out to truly be one of Marinette’s friends, he would apologize, but Felix wasn’t going to risk compromising her if his suspicions were correct.

Confusion etched its way onto the blond’s features, and he glanced down at the ground as he muttered, “I could have sworn she said ‘Rosemary’..”

Felix rose a brow. Marinette told him which school she was attending? Or did another girl give him the information?

Before either could say anything more, a car horn sounded in front of them, and Adrien glanced over his shoulder to the driver of the silver car.

“Ah, I gotta go. Thanks for your help!”

Felix didn’t bother returning Adrien’s wave, instead watching him hop down the front steps. Although it would annoy him, he hoped that the blond actually was a friend of Marinette’s, for her sake. He can’t imagine her being happy with the news that someone had followed her to school.

“Oh, hey, Felix! I thought you were leaving.”

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear..

The silver car had just disappeared around the corner when the girl in question skipped down the front steps next to him. She flashed him a bright smile, making his insides churn with guilt. Should he tell her? She needed to know, right?

“I was,” He said, choosing his next words carefully, “but I got held up.”

Marinette chuckled. “I know how that goes.”

Felix nodded, his gaze shifting to the side. He didn’t want to worry her, but he couldn’t let her be ignorant of a possibly dangerous situation either.

“.. Were you, by chance, expecting anyone at the school today?”

Marinette frowned and shook her head, unfortunately confirming Felix’s concerns. “No, why?”

“Well..” He hesitated. “Someone stopped by and asked for you. A man by the name Adrien Agreste.”

Marinette’s entire body went rigid, and the blood drained from her face. Felix held back a grimace at the sight. She looked more frightened than two weeks ago when she first ran into the school to hide.

“D-Did you-”

“No.” Felix cut her off, already knowing what she was going to ask. “I told him you didn’t attend this school.”

Her shoulders slumped with relief, but he could still see the nervousness in her eyes. “Oh, thank goodness.. Thank you so much, Felix.”

“Is he the one who wanted to talk to you two weeks ago?”

Marinette faltered at the question, but nodded. “He went to my old school..”

Felix frowned. If he remembered his mother’s ramblings correctly, Adrien Agreste started attending Dupont not too long ago. Was that Marinette’s old school then?

“His father’s a powerful man.” He said. “You need to be careful.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “Oh no! I mean- Thank you for the warning.. But Adrien isn’t like that. He’s persistent, but he doesn’t threaten people.”

Felix wasn’t entirely sure that he believed that, but he wouldn’t argue. Marinette was dealing with enough already. “I believe he said something about a girl telling him that you’re attending Rosemary, but he didn’t mention the name of her.”

Marinette’s eyebrows knitted together. “A girl?”

“Yes, something like ‘I could have sworn she said Rosemary’.”

Marinette chewed on her bottom lip, obviously troubled by the news. Felix didn’t blame her. Stalking can be a serious matter. (even if she didn’t quite consider it stalking.)

“Would you like me to drive you home?” He offered, yet again.

And again, Marinette refused by shaking her head.

“Thanks, but it’s only two blocks. I’ll be fine.” She assured.

The decision didn’t sit well with him, but Felix nodded anyway. It wasn’t his place to tell her what she could or couldn’t do, or what precautions he personally thought she should take.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He said, finally continuing his descent down the stairs.

“Yep, see you tomorrow.” Marinette smiled.

They parted ways after that, Marinette heading down the sidewalk and Felix going to find his driver, but the urge to watch her didn’t leave his mind until she completely vanished around the corner.

Felix sighed, tapping his finger against the car door as he settled into the backseat of his car. Why did he want to follow her so badly?

Tag List: @artbyknigit @athena452 @nickristus-dreamer @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @arsaem @abrx2002 @neakco @pawsitivelymiraculous @too0bsessedformyowngood @nathleigh @lusicing @officiallydarkgeek @all-mights-asscheeks @tbehartoo @woe-is-me0 @raeuberprinzessin @lazuli-11 @miss-chaos27 @trippingovermyfeet @sadpotatoondrugs @ladybug-182 @jaggedheart11 @marinahrasauce @i-need-blog-ideas @thewheezingbubbledragon @crazylittlemunchkin @unabashedbookworm @moonystars14 @sunflowers-and-mooncakes @2confused-2doanything @magnificentcrapposts @moonnette

#Felix Culpa #Marinette #New Girl on the Block #Rosemary AU #Quantic Kids #felinette

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kpop---scenarios · 3 years

Text

Into The Night

Pairing: Kai x Reader

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 5k

Summary: You never expected to fall for the escort your friend ordered for you.

"It's a very reputable place." Jisoo smiles at you. "Very discreet. I think it would be a good place for you to go." She finishes.

You stare at her with your mouth wide open as you try to comprehend what she had just said to you.

"Bitch." You scoff. "Are you trying to tell me to go to a whore house to get laid?" You ask.

"I mean, you're not the first person to do it. It's not a big deal." She says, shrugging her shoulders. "The guys are hot." She smirks, wiggling her eyebrows.

You can't help but think about it for a minute. You really did need a good fuck, your vibrator can only do so much. "Fine." You say, crossing your arms. "But your ass is coming with me." You smirk, watching her face drop at what you had just said.

"But.. I.. " she stutters.

"No excuses, I fuck a sex worker, you fuck a sex worker. That's the deal." You laugh. You knew she would never do something like that, meaning you'd be off the hook.

"Fine." She says. "Lets go. Now." She says, ushering you towards the door. "Now or never."

"How about never?" You nervously giggle.

"Or now works too. Let's go bitch." She finishes, dragging you out the front door of your apartment to a cafe down the street, to get the process started.

Little did you know this was going to be the best, but also worst experience of your life.

Kai smiles as he says goodbye to his latest client, leaving her to relish in the orgasms he had given her, making her scream out his name. He knew he was good at what he did, that's all he was ever told he was good at, so why not make a career out of it.

Women had always told him he was a great fuck, he had a handsome face but that would only take him so far. The words they told him always stuck with him, replaying over and over in his head.

"You're a great fuck but thats it."

"I could never date you. You're not good enough for me."

It was always the same, with every woman that he met. They were always only interested in him because of his face, or his body. They never cared to get to know him or his likes and dislikes, only how many times could they cum because of him.

Eventually he said fuck it and gave up on trying to pursue a relationship with women. He began working for an escort company, where he quickly climbed the ladder, becoming the most popular male escort. He made great money, but lived a lonely life despite being with different women. It wasn't the sex that was important to him, it was the connection, the love two people shared. That's what he craved, but he knew he wasn't enough.

Kai's mind wanders back to just after he graduated from high-school. He had a date with a girl he had loved for the last four years and had tried time and time again to muster up the courage to ask her on a date.

"J-jennie, would you like to have dinner with me?" He asks, his fingers twiddling between each other.

She smiled at him, but it wasn't genuine, more pitty.

"Um sure." She half smiles. "I'll meet you at the restaurant." She says, walking away to her friends. Kai thought his heart was going to explode out from his chest.

He was so happy.

He wasn't your typical guy, he was shy. He was very quiet and often gave off the vibe of being an asshole, but in all honesty, you just needed to get to know him first but no one ever gave him that chance.

His date with Jennie went well, the conversation lagged a few times but it had ended with him railing her in the back of his car.

His muscles flex, the sweat glistening as he props himself up while he thrusts in and out of her, making her scream.

It was the best night of his life and he thought about her everyday, until he saw her making out with some guy at a party a few days later. All eyes had been on him when he walked into the party, his arrival commencing the whispering between people and the staring.

"W-what? I thought.. we.." he stutters, lost for words.

She laughed. And laughed. "Look." She giggles. "You give top notch dick, but you're an asshole. You're not boyfriend material." She spits.

Kai hangs his head low as he walks out of the party, heartbroken for the first time but not the last.

He didn't let that one instance ruin his views on relationships and women, no, that came after the same thing happened in college. He had met Mina and she was so beautiful, smart and interesting. He was smitten with her, and when she agreed to go on a date with him, he was over the moon excited.

"Would you like to get a coffee with me?" He whispers to her, only looking her in the eye once.

"Sure. Sounds great." She smiles.

He told himself he wouldn't sleep with her on the first date. Coffee seems innocent enough, but alas, it ended with him ramming into her from behind in an alleyway behind the coffee shop.

"I had a great time." She smiles, as she adjusts her skirt. "See ya." She finishes, walking away, leaving him standing there slightly confused.

Kai saw her often, mostly in the middle of the night when she called him and asked him to come fuck her. Whenever he asked to walk her to class or meet up for dinner, she was always busy or unavailable. And if they ever did meet up at her apartment during the day, she always had an excuse as to why he couldn't stay.

"That was great." She sighs, rolling over onto her back. Kai rolls over, wrapping his arm around her waist, only laying there for a second before she wiggles out-of his embrace and stands at the edge of the bed.

"What?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I've got a lot to do. You gotta go." She says, getting dressed and rushing him out of her apartment.

He wanders around downtown for a bit, trying to think of why she kicked him out so quickly, why she never wants to spend time with him. He's lost in his thoughts until he sees Mina, just down the street walking with her friend.

With a smile on his face he walks up to her to greet her.

"Hey you." He smiles.

She doesn't smile back. Instead, she scoffs, her friend giving him a weird, uncomfortable look.

"Um." Mina starts, but Kai gets the point.

"Gotcha." He mumbles, turning around to walk away and that's when he hears her.

"Who is that?" Her friend asks, laughing.

"The most amazing dick I've ever had." Mina raves. "But like that's all he's good for." She laughs. "He's so awkward. Could you imagine keeping that as your boyfriend? Talk about being embarrassed all the time." Mina laughs. "And he's studying accounting. How lame. He'd make better money fucking women for a living." She finishes.

A tear rolls down Kai's cheek as he now vows to himself to never try for a relationship again. Women wanted some good, dominating cock? Then that's what he would give them, that's all that he would give them.

"Make sure he has brown hair." Jisoo laughs. The two of you sit in a cafe, on your phones choosing an escort for each other. You picked one for her, someone who seemed to fit her type just right, a man named Baekhyun.

You were nervous about who she chose for you, but you trusted her, mostly. You knew she wouldn't screw you over.

"Okay done. Meet him in an hour at the Into The Night hotel." She laughs.

"Seriously? Fuck." You laugh nervously.

Forty five minutes later you're standing outside the hotel, taking a deep breath. You're the one who needs to get the hotel room and he will knock on the door. You know, this is fine, its simple, its just a fuck. With a stranger. It's fine.

"A room with a king size bed." You whisper to the front desk clerk who looks at you weirdly as you sweat slightly.

"Room 5372. Here's your key. Enjoy your stay.. with no bags." He says.

"Someone will be coming to ask for my room number. Make sure you tell him." You say, clearing your throat.

"Of course." He says, looking back to his computer.

You sit on the edge of the bed, your fingers twiddling as you wait for the much anticipated knock on the door. And when it came, your heart jumped from your chest.

Your palms were sweaty as you gripped the door knob, taking a few very deep breaths before you pulled the door open revealing an extremely handsome man. His hair was messy and dark, his shirt unbuttoned just enough for you to see his chest, the muscles in his arms protruding from his long sleeve shirt.

You go back and sit on the bed, watching him walk in, the bulge in his pants very noticeable. Your breath hitches as your eyes stare at it, unable to look away from it.

"Hi." He says, his voice deep and rugged. "I'm Kai." He smiles.

"Um hi, I'm.. um.. Ayn." You stutter.

"Ayn." He says, a smirk on his face. "How would you like me, Ayn?" He asks.

"What's your last name?" You ask, your nerves have now fully taken over. "Mines YLN."

"Kim." He says, cocking his head to the side.

"Nice, nice. Are you hungry? I'm starving. I'm going to order room service." You say, jolting yourself up and heading to the phone.

"Wait you're serious?" He asks.

"Very. I never joke about food." You say.

"Uh. A burger?" He says, slightly confused about what was currently happening. But he hadn't had dinner and was kind of hungry, so why not?

"Hi, i'd like two cheeseburgers with fries and two cokes." You accidently yell into the phone. "Sorry." You whisper, hanging up. "Like twenty minutes you tell him, slowly walking back towards the bed.

He nods his head.

"So.. good times?" You ask, referring to the name of the hotel, a small smile on your face.

"Yeah, I mean, it's meant for good times, so why not. I thought it was clever when I named it." He smiles.

"You named it? Do you own the company?" You ask, genuinely shocked.

"I do." Kai laughs. "I founded Knight Industries a few years ago and built it up." He says, beginning to unbutton his shirt.

"Umm." You say nervously, thinking of how else you could stall. Honestly, you wanted to see what was under his shirt but you knew where it was going to lead you weren't sure about the stranger thing.

Knock

"Room service." A voice chimes from outside your door.

"I better.. get that." You half smile, quickly walking to the door. You open it and a cart is pushed into your room. The man looks confused when he sees Kai standing there, both of you fully clothed.

"Uh, enjoy." He says, walking out but not before giving Kai a questioning look.

Over the next hour you and Kai talk about one thing, well you talk about one thing and that thing is food. You went on and on while Kai actually sat there and smiled at you as you described to him your favorite dish to make at home.

"It's so easy to make but tastes amazing. You have to taste it to believe it." You laugh.

You also talked about what your dream vacation would be.

"And that's why my absolute dream vacation would be a good tour of Europe. You would get everything." You groan, just thinking about the food made you want to drool everywhere."

"You can't forget the wine though." Kai laughs.

"No never, can never forget that." You smile.

Beep

Beep.

Your phone alarm beeps, telling you your two hours is up. You give Kai a smile before gathering your belongings.

"Thanks for this. I had a great time." You smile before leaving the room, leaving him there to respond to no one.

"Thank you." He whispers.

Kai tries to make sense of what just happened over the last two hours he had spent with you. When he talked you actually listened, you genuinely seemed interested in what he was saying and enjoyed talking to him. Something he had never had, no one ever wanted him, just his cock.

"Wow." Jisoo says, a tired smile plastered on her face, her hair a mess as she limps towards you outside the hotel. "You don't look like you just got fucked." She pouts.

"But you do." You respond. "I didn't. We talked. And it was really nice." You say, shyly.

"It wasn't a date Ayn. You were supposed to get laid!" She yells, a little too loudly.

"Next time. I will. Promise." You say.

"You're going to have a next time?" She asks, surprised.

"Would that be weird to request him again?" You ask.

Before she could answer a very handsome man ran out of the hotel, yelling her name.

"Jisoo! You forgot this." He smiles at her, his hair disheveled. He slyly hands her a pair of panties, giving her a wink before running back into the hotel.

"That's Baekhyun." She breathes. "I think I love him." She finishes. The two of you laugh before linking arms and walking back to your apartment, completely missing the man you'd spent time with watching you walk away from him.

That night you laid in your bed, staring at the request on your phone to meet up with him again. You wanted to see him again, whether you did anything or just talked but did he want to see you was the question.

You left it alone for the next week, thinking and debating about it everyday. You had the request filled out, but for whatever reason you couldn't bring yourself to press send.

You felt stupid. You probably weren't even his type, this is what he did for a living, of course he was nice to you, you paid for it. However, he was supposed to fuck you, not spend two hours eating and talking with you.

After a week you finally pressed that send button, and you confirmed your meeting for tomorrow, making sure to add to meet at a park at sunset. You wondered if he would actually show up.

The next night you sat on the park bench, your bag with a surprise beside you, as you waited for him to show up. The littlest part of you felt like he wasn't going to show up. So when I looked over and saw him walking towards you, your heart skipped a beat.

He sat down next to you, a smile on his face as he looked at you. "Hi." He says.

"Hi." You reply, your nerves coming back.

"We never got around to your favorite food last time." You say, waiting for him to begin talking.

"Fried chicken." He laughs. "My mom used to make it when I was little, and it's just kind of stuck now." He says, his hands placed on his lap. "She got the recipe when she was in America for a bit."

"Have you traveled much?" You ask.

He looked at you like you were crazy when you asked him that, but you really and truly wanted to know more about him.

"Japan a few times, China and America once, but that was years ago. I've always wanted to go back." He tells you. "Have you been anywhere?" He asks.

"No I've never traveled anywhere. I've always wanted to though." You smile.

"I think you'd like Japan. Amazing food." He laughs.

"Anywhere that has good food has my vote." You smile. "Speaking of food, I brought this for you." You say, pulling out the container of food you made for him. "I really wanted you to try it." You laugh.

"I-.. wow." He says, looking shocked. Your eyes meet as he remains speechless at your kind gesture.

Before you knew what was happening, Kai had leaned over and pressed his plump lips to yours, wrapping his hand around the back of your head to deepen the kiss.

When he pulls away you smile, standing up, your face covered in blush. "We'll have to meet up again so I can refill the container." You smile, walking away, hoping he uses the number you left on the top of the lid.

3 days. It took him 3 days to text you. After the second day you had completely given up hope on him messaging you, but that was typical of your fashion, never giving enough time to anyone.

You had woken up early in the morning for work and saw a text from a number you didn't recognize, thanking you for the food and how delicious it was.

You texted all day after that, about everything. He asked you on a date for that weekend, 8pm on Saturday. You told him you'd love too, and when Saturday rolled around you were terrified.

Your doorbell rang right at 8pm, and your heart fluttered as you walked towards the door, your heel clicking on the floor. You glanced at yourself in the mirror one more time, satisfied enough with how your makeup and hair turned out, you smoothed down your tight dress before answering the door.

"Hi." Kai smiles, looking you up and down. "You look amazing."

"Thank you." You whisper, looking at him in his suit, his hair slicked back. He looked so good. You almost said fuck it and dragged him into your apartment, but you have a little self control, for now.

On the drive to the restaurant you couldn't keep your eyes off him. The way he slouched in his seat, his legs spread with one hand on the steering wheel, the other one placed on your thigh. You could feel your pussy throbbing as you pressed your legs together, trying to keep yourself together.

"Are you okay?" He asks, his eyebrow raised, glancing over to you.

"Yep, all good." You say.

You knew he didn't buy it. His cologne, how his skin glowed under the moonlight, his plump lips, it was all getting to you and fast.

At the restaurant you sat across from him, throwing back your third glass of wine as Kai watched you in amusement. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asks, his chin resting on his hands.

"Mhmm." You say, gaining a little bit of confidence. You raise your leg under the table, gently caressing his leg with your foot, up and down a few times before you slide off your shoe and work your way up to his thigh.

Your eyes locked as you moved your foot, you could see his face change, his eyes become darker.

Every Time you rubbed his leg, you could feel your lips sliding together, reminding you of just how wet you truly were.

"I'm so wet." You whisper, sticking your hand under the table, sliding it over your pussy before popping it in your mouth to suck off your juice.

Kai's eyes went black. Right before he could say anything, the waiter came, placing your food in front of the both of you.

"Anything else I can get for you?" He asks, Kai looks at you, you bite your lip, looking slightly needy.

"Yeah, can we get this to go please." Kai says, his eyes never leaving yours. A smile spreads across your face as the waiter looks confused but takes your plates away anyways.

A few minutes later he returns with your food and your bill. Kai pays quickly before placing his hand on the small of your back to guide you out.

"Are you sure?" He asks, sliding into the driver's seat, starting the car.

"I want you to fuck me." You moan. Kai groans as he races down the street. "Now." You whisper.

He turns down an alley, parking in the dark between two buildings, making sure you were out of camera view.

"Out." He growls.

You open the door, step outside and walk to the front of the car. You watch as Kai walks around to the front of the car, unbuckling his belt and pulling it through the loops. His hand rests on your cheek as he leans in, pressing his lips to yours. He backs you up, leaning you against the car and laying you down on the hood of the car.

He breaks the kiss and stands up. "Hands." He demands.

You give him your hands, he puts them together and wraps his belt around them tightly. "Put them above your head." He demands. You do as you're told, your pussy dripping as you wait for what he plans to do next.

He brings his hand up to your neck, dragging his finger down your collarbone, past your breasts, down your stomach, stopping halfway down your thighs at the hem of your dress.

"Spread your legs." He says, his voice deep and demanding. You do your best to spread your legs, causing your dress to ride up, exposing your red lace panties.

Kai lifts your dress more, looking at your panties and smirking. He grabs onto them, moving them to the side, giving him a great view of your lips.

"Oh my god." You cry, your pussy needing to be touched.

"Quiet baby girl." He moans as he leans his body on yours. His one hand reaches in-between your thighs, moving between your lips before his thumb grazes over your throbbing clit while he inserts two fingers inside you, slowly. His body rests on yours as he pumps his fingers in and out of you, his other hand covering your mouth to muffle the sound of your moans.

Kai whispers in your ear as you mumble your muffled cries. "That's a good girl."

As he continues to pump his fingers into you, he moves his thumb in a circle on your clit, making your arch your back. You try to cry out, but his hand catches most of the whimpers as he removes his fingers from inside you, and focuses just on rubbing your clit.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you try to squeeze your legs together, your orgasm threatening to burst.

"Cum." He growls, sending you right over the edge, your body shaking as you ride through your high.

Kai removes his hand from your mouth while staring at you before licking his fingers with a smirk on his face. You slide down the car onto your knees, lifting up your hands so he can untie you.

You're a bit shaky as you pull down his pants and boxers, letting his cock spring free.

Your mouth waters as you stare at the thick, juicy, veiny cock standing straight in front of you. You wrap your hand around the shaft, pumping it a few times before Kai grabs the back of your head, forcing his cock into your mouth, making you choke.

"Mhmm." He moans. "Choke on that cock."

He lets you come up for air, just for a second before he shoves his cock back in your mouth and down your throat. Your eyes water as he thrusts in and out a few times before fully pulling out and standing you up. He pushes you down on your stomach against the hood of the car, making you spread your legs with his foot.

"Ready?" He asks, but doesn't wait for an answer. Instead he grips onto your hips and slams his cock inside of you, stretching you out and giving you no time to adjust to his size. "Such a tight pussy." He groans, his hands holding onto you tighter as your hands are laid out above your head, red marks from the belt very visible but you didn't care.

Kai never slowed his pace, he fucked you hard and he fucked you good.

"Shit shit." You cry out as he hits your g spot with every thrust. "P..please don't stop." You cry. You can hear him grunting behind you, making you clench yourself around his cock.

"Don't stop that." He groans, his fingertip digging into your hips. "Shit." He moans. "I'm gonna..cum." he finishes, pulling out to cum on your ass. "Fuck." He sighs, as he pumps himself a few more times, making sure he rides his high for as long as he can.

"That was.." he begins.

"Great." You finish, pulling down your dress. You smile at him as he zips up his pants. "Will you come home with me?" You ask, a little nervous he might say no.

"I'd love too." He smiles, opening the car door for you. You slide in, and he closes it before running to the drivers side and backing out of the alley way. His arm rests on your thigh for the entire drive back to your apartment, making the butterflies in your stomach flutter.

The next morning you wake up to feel a hand wrapped around your stomach with a face buried into your neck. You smile as you remember he came home with you last night, and you smile even harder as you feel his large friend poking you in the ass.

With a smirk on your face you wiggle your ass against his boner, making his groan. "Tease." He mumbles as he nuzzles his face further to your neck.

"You can always just slip it in. Cum in my pussy." You whisper, making him raise his head. He reaches down, lifting your leg to go over his, opening you up slightly before he pulls down his boxers, letting his friend free. You arch your back as he guides himself inside of you, slowly thrusting in and out. He hand reaches up and under your shirt, cupping your breast before twiddling your nipples as he pumps his hips.

"Fuck." You moan as his hand leaves your breasts and moves up to wrap around your throat. His large hands squeeze your neck as he thrusts into you harshly.

"Rub your clit." He says, demanding you to do so. You reach between your legs and begin playing with the throbbing bud, rubbing it in circles, your pussy tightening around his cock.

"Good girl." He breathes into your ear, his head tightening again around your neck.

"I'm.. gonna.." you cry.

"Cum." He demands, breathing the word heavily into your ear. Shivers send down your spine as you orgasm takes over, making you cry out, loudly.

Kai grunts a few times before spilling his juices inside of you. "Fuck." He sighs, milking himself for everything.

He pulls himself out of you and rolls out of bed, pulling his pants on.

"What are you doing?" You ask, confused.

"I thought you were going to ask me to leave." He says, shrugging his shoulders.

"Actually." You pause. "I was going to see if you wanted to come to the store with me. I was going to make you some food." You say, sitting up in your bed. "But if you want to go.." you pause.

"I don't want to go..it's just i'm always asked to leave after." He says. "No one asks me to stay."

"I'm asking you to stay. Spend the day with me?" You ask.

The smile on his face could light up an entire city, the two of you so happy in that moment, but little did you know, things wouldn't be so happy in the future.

Things with you and Kai were great for the first couple of months until the two of you had gotten more serious than either of you had expected in such a short amount of time.

It had only been nine months but you knew with everything you had in your soul that you loved this man more than anything. And you knew he loved you back, but you just couldn't get past his work.

You knew he didn't love the women he was with, you knew it was only a job but you hated it. You hated that while you thought about him, his dick was inside someone else, making someone else cum, making another woman feel good. And that was the cause of your fights, 99% of the time.

"Here we go again." Kai sighs, as he grabs a drink from the kitchen. "It's always the same thing." He yells.

"Yes it is! Why can't you just stop. Stop fucking other women." You yell.

"It's my job! I founded the company. I built it up from nothing. I can't just walk away from that Ayn. You're asking me to give up alot." He says.

You take a deep breath. "You know you are so much more than your dick right? You're so special, the way you make people feel is indescribable. But if you only listen to the voices in your head from your past, they will always win. And if you keep doing that, then I won't ever be enough for you. So, when you decide that you’re more than just a sex object, you call me, because you are more than that business. And your business may be booming but baby, you’re dying, I can see that and I hate that you can't. I am trying to fight for more than just us. I'm trying to fight for our future. Either you want or you don't. So let me know."

With slow steps you walk away, hoping he stops you.

You close the door hoping he stops you.

You walk all the way to your car.

You waited for him to stop you.

But he never came.

#exowritersnet #kai #kim kai #kai smut #jongin smut #jongin fanfic #kai fanfic #kai fanfiction #exo kai #exo scenarios #exo fanfiction #exo smut #exo #kpop fanfic #kpop icons #kpop scenarios #kpop #kpop writing #kpop imagines

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silkling · 3 years

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Hi Silkling, could you please write a TFP story where Sierra discovers the Autobot's secret and joins up with Team Prime? TFP never really did much with her, and I think that a shame. I think Smokescreen would make a good partner for her.

Absolutely! Great to see you again in my ask box! :D your last prompt was super fun to write to, so I’m looking forward to this one! Now, I admit, I never paid much attention to Sierra, and the show didn’t give us a lot to work with, so I’m going to have to come up with some of her characterization. And I agree. So I’m mashing her with Smokescreen. It’s gonna a be great. I love Smokescreen very much! I even have a whole AU of my own for him. He’s a tiny happy dumbass and since Sierra has basically no canon personality, I can make her be his long-suffering but still very fond best friend.

———————————————————————————————————

Sierra had been having a good day. Emphasis on the word had. It was the weekend. She had packed a small picnic, grabbed her favorite book, and hopped on her bike. She’d ridden out to the popular hiking trails, intending to take a short hike and finding a nice place to spend the afternoon with a her novel and her snacks. The sun was out, the weather was great, and she had nothing to do today. It was perfect. So, of course, the laws of the universe demanded that something go wrong.

‘Murphy is a cruel bastard and and I’m going to punch him in the face when I see him in the afterlife.’ She thought viciously, staring up at the hulking titan that had just crushed her lunch and bike under a single massive metal foot with a sense of numb disbelief. ‘At least I still have the book.’ She ignored how the thought echoed with a note of hysteria as she shoved said book into the messenger bag over her shoulder.

“Are you Sierra O’Niell?”

She was only slightly surprised when the massive robot spoke. Because why wouldn’t the giant robot that had just moments ago been a jet be able to speak? Honestly, what even was her life at this point. She was more concerned with the fact that the thing knew her name. Her initial instinct was the demand how it knew her name. But she’d seen the movies. She knew that would only confirm it’s suspicions.

“Who?” she forced herself to ask instead, surprising herself with how steady her voice was. It was the shock, she told herself. It had to be. It was making her emotionally numb. “What are you?”

The robot seemed startled, before it snarled something that was most definitely a curse. It started speaking, though not to her, and it took Sierra a moment to realize it must have been talking over some sort of built in communication system. “-wrong human, Soundwave! This pathetic fleshling you pointed out to me doesn’t even know who I am talking about.” It paused. “What do you mean it’s not the wrong human? I just told you-“ it cut itself off. “Ah. I see.” A sinister grin twisted at metallic features. “Thank you, Soundwave. I will return with my prize shortly.”

Oh, Sierra did not like the sound of that.

Sure enough, the robot turned to face her when it was done. “It seems you lied to me, little fleshling.” it sneered. “My associate tracked the signal of your personal communications device. You humans never go without it, I’ve been told.”

She blinked. “You hacked my phone?” she sputtered, and oops, she’d just confirmed her identity. ‘Stupid, Sierra.’

It’s face twisted into a cruel expression of glee. She did not like it. “Indeed.” It began bending down, and then a large hand was reaching towards her. “You shall be coming with me, human. Soundwave has seen how Jackson Darby is fond of you.” it purred. “You will make a lovely bargaining chip against that pathetic human runt and his Autobot protectors.”

And wait, this was because of Jack? How did he come into all this? If this thing was after her because of him, that had to mean he knew about it and it’s…friends. Did robots have friends? She didn’t know. And wait, Autobot?

She stiffened, scrabbling away from the large metallic hand, shunting those questions to the back of her mind to be answered later. Escape the terrifying metal monster now, murder Jack for pulling her into this later. Clearly though, the robot disliked her attempt to flee because it only growled and stepped towards her again.

That’s when she heard the roaring of a powerful engine. It made the robot pause too, and they both looked to where the sound came from. Then, over the crest of a hill, a white and blue sports car came flying in. It had red accents and bold 38s painted onto its doors. Sierra was impressed. She was no car person, but even she liked this one. Only, the car started breaking apart once it hit the ground, unfolding and growing into the form of, you guessed it, another robot.

Sierra despaired for her luck. ‘Murphy is going to die a second time for this. He’d better be prepared.’ She thought with vicious hysteria.

Except, to her great surprise, the new robot didn’t try to help capture her. No, instead it rammed full force into the tall jet robot that had tried to snatch her up. Said jet yelped before quickly getting back to its feet. Sierra heard the should of metal and gears shifting, and saw the newcomer’s large hand change to some sort of weapon, though not one she could recognize.

“Terrorizing humans now, Starscream?” it taunted. “Can’t say I’m surprised, you always were one to sink so low.”

The first robot, Starscream, apparently, snarled in outrage. “Pathetic Autobot!” it roared, and oh, so this newcomer was Autobot?

Except, from the two names she’d heard already, that didn’t sound like the type of name these robots seemed to have. She did notice the little face badges they wore, the white bot bearing a red one proudly on its shoulders while the jet robot wore a smaller, pointier face on its chest. So maybe those had something to do with the whole ‘Autobot’ thing? Hell if she knew. Sierra was clever, and she’d always been good at puzzles and mystery solving, but she didn’t have enough information for this whole…thing.

“I’m not the one who’s picking on defenseless humans, ‘Con!” the car robot barked, smirking at the skinnier jet.

The jet only snarled, lifting an arm that she was just noticing had a freaking missile attached to it, and the white robot stilled briefly, before shooting her a frantic look and oh, would you look at that, she seemed to be right in the blast radius of the missile, and oh god she was going to die-

Except, there was that shifting sound again, but much larger, and then car robot was leaping towards her. It hit the ground in car form, it’s driver door open as it slid sideways in her direction, and then she was swept up into it and the door slammed shut. Tires squealed, and then they were peeling away to the sound of a missile screaming and impacting where they had been a half second before. The jet roared in outrage, but the car robot was speeding straight towards civilization, and it seemed to want to avoid that because when she glanced at the rear view mirror she saw it leap into the sky and transform before flying away.

Sierra slowly sat up from her ungainly sprawl, pulling the seatbelt across her chest on reflex before sitting back against the driver’s seat and wheezing. Her heartbeat, which she only just noticed had been thundering wildly in her chest, started to slowly calm, and she had to force herself to take deep, even breaths to keep herself from hyperventilating.

Now, Sierra wasn’t an irrational girl. She was among the top students of all her classes, she was smart, she knew a lot about various topics, and she had a good understanding of how people worked. She was clever, she knew she had a good head on her shoulders. She kept some of her interests closer to her chest, and she played the good, polite, quiet girl for the adults, because she wasn’t without manners, thank you very much. All that meant, though, was that she wasn’t prone to screaming in terror and running like a madman when she was freaked out by something. She would prefer to understand something rather than be irrationally terrified of it.

This, though? This was a bit much, even for her. As her heartbeat calmed, a sense of nausea built in her throat. “Excuse me, robot?” she squeaked. She wasn’t even sure if she could communicate with it while it was in car mode, but it was worth a shot.

“It’s Smokescreen.”

What?

“What?”

“My name is Smokescreen. Not “robot”.”

It sounded miffed. Which, okay. That was fair. If someone called her just “human” she’d probably be upset too. Hell, she had been upset when that other one, Starscream, had called her a “fleshling”. Smokescreen’s voice also sounded very male, and she paused before asking.

“And you’re not an “it” either, then?”

“No, I’m a mech.” A pause. “Uh, a male, by your definitions.”

“Okay. Smokescreen. Well, I’m Sierra, and as grateful as I am for your rescue you should really, really stop and let me out. Humans don’t handle extreme stress very well and I’m about to be sick.”

“Sick?”

Oh god, did robots even get sick?

“I’m about to vomit. Which means I am very close to expelling internal body waste, and it will be right in your seats if you don’t let me out so I can barf behind some rocks.” she informed him tightly, fighting down a gag.

There was a brief moment if silence as Smokescreen seemed to process her words, before he turned off the side of the road, drove behind some rocks, and popped open the door. “Please don’t be sick in me.” Oh, now he sounded sick. Sierra felt a little bad.

She didn’t say anything to that, instead stumbling out of the car and out of sight, before promptly bending over and tossing her breakfast. She gagged on bile, and after a moment of pause to make sure there was nothing left in her stomach, she stood and made her way back to where Smokescreen was waiting. She pulled her water bottle from her bag, taking a sip and washing out her mouth with it before spitting it to the side, and then she proceeded to drink everything left in the bottle. She tucked it away, turning to her impromptu ride, and opened her mouth to speak, when-.

“Oh slag.” He beat her to the punch.

She was confused, recognizing that as a curse of some sort, and then she heard the beeping from his radio.

“Um, hold on for a minute, alright? I gotta take this.” He sounded anxious, and didn’t give her a chance to answer before there was a click as he did just that.

She heard muffled noises over the radio, though she couldn’t make out the words being said.

“Um, yeah. There was a ‘Con signal. I was close so I checked it out.”

More radio noises, angry sounding ones.

“I know, I know! But I was closest and no one would pick up their comm. so I thought I should st least check it out! It was a good thing too, Starscream was there and he was about to snatch up a human!”

A pause, and then an explosion of garbled noise from the radio. Sierra got the feeling that Smokescreen was wincing.

“Well what was I supposed to do? Let her be taken? Plus she’d already seen him so it wasn’t like seeing me was going to do much damage!”

A growling noise, followed by a hiss of static.

“Yes, Ratchet. I know. And I am sorry, alright! I know I went against code again but if I had waited a human would’ve been in Deception hands and as new as I am to this planet, even I know that’s bad!”

Wait, planet? Was this giant ass robot an actual alien? That…honestly made sense. With that day she’d had, she wasn’t even surprised. Smokescreen was still having his discussion with…whoever was on the other end.

“Yes, I’ll bring her back to base. I’m not going to apologize for saving her, though.”

More angry static.

“Yeah yeah. I get it.”

He sounded tired, defeated. Sierra felt bad, and wondered what was being said to make him sound like that when he’d been so bright before.

“No, you don’t need to send a ground bridge. I’m close to the base anyway. I’ll be there soon.”

There was a click as Smokescreen disconnected from whoever called him, and then she could tell he was talking to her when he spoke next. “Mind hopping in? I gotta bring you back to base. The boss can explain everything. I promise you won’t be hurt or anything.”

Sierra hesitated for a moment, then sighed. She knew she probably shouldn’t, but at this point what was the harm? Besides, her gut instinct was telling her that, based on what that Starscream character had said about Jack, she wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt. Not if Darby spent all his free time around these weird alien robots and came back fine. Mind decided, she slipped into the car’s open door. It shut on its own, and she buckled herself in once more.

“Thanks.” He sounded grateful. And then he was driving off.

He wasn’t saying anything, and neither was Sierra, and she let herself be alone with her thoughts. They drove for a while, and Sierra let herself enjoy the landscape that passed by Smokescreen’s window. He really was a nice ride, she mused. Sleek and fast, and his engine purred quietly as he drove along the highway. She didn’t know much about cars, but she knew his car mode was a good one.

Soon enough, they were coming towards a large mesa. Smokescreen drove right toward its side, not even slowing as he approached, Sierra tensed, about to protest, when a previously invisible door opened in the rock face. She shut her mouth, her eyes blowing wide. Oh. That explained that. Their base was hidden in plain sight. Which…she supposed was fitting, for alien robots who disguised themselves as cars and jets. Smokescreen took them through a tunnel, and then they were coming into a large central chamber. Sierra peeked out if the window to see two other robots there. One, stocky and painted in red and white. The other…was absolutely massive. He towered above the red and white bot, and she had a feeling he’d tower over Smokescreen too. He was broad as he was tall, with wide shoulders and a heavy looking chest, his metal armor painted in red and blue. Sierra didn’t know how she knew, but she just knew that this large one was a he, a mech, as Smokescreen had said.

The door at her side popped open, and after brief hesitation she unbuckled herself and stood up. There was that sound of transformation behind her, and she glanced back to see Smokescreen rising to his feet in his robot mode. Then a voice spoke and she snapped her head around to see the large bot speaking.

“Greetings, young one. My name is Optimus Prime. My companion is Ratchet, and you have already met Smokescreen.”

Ratchet. That’s who Smokescreen had been talking to earlier. “I’m Sierra.” she said after a moment. “Sierra O’Niell.”

Optimus tilted his head downwards in her direction. “May I inquire why Starscream was attempting to abduct you, if you know?”

“You’re very polite.” she remarked dryly. “He said something about wanting to use me to get to Jack Darby, so that he could in turn use Jack to get to the “Autobots”. I’m guessing that’s you guys?”

Optimus shared a look with Ratchet, then looked back at her. “Indeed. Myself and my team are Autobots. Starscream is a Decepticon. Our factions are enemies, I am afraid.” he explained. “We are not from your world, Sierra O’Niell. We hail from a planet called Cybertron. Our two factions were at War on our home, and that War destroyed our world. The Deceptions came here, searching for energon, and we have followed them to keep them from destroying your planet and it’s people in their quest for it.”

Sierra turned that over. She’d guessed they weren’t from Earth, so that wasn’t a surprise. The rest of the information was new, though. And appreciated. “What’s energon? And how does Jack fit into all this?”

Optimus sighed. “Energon is an energy source, and the very lifeblood of every Cybertronian.” he explained. “It is a natural resource that was once common on our home, and somehow Earth too produces it in great abundance.” he explained. “Jackson, Miko, and Raphael became involved with us by accident. They were seen with my Autobots when they mistakenly were pulled into a battle with the Decepticons, and the Decepticons assumed they were our allies. In order to protect them, we took them under our watch and guard to ensure they could not be harmed.”

So, Esquivel and Nakadai were part of this too. She shouldn’t be surprised. She’d seen the cars that picked those two up, now that she thought of it. Speaking of which….

“Jack’s motorcycle is an Autobot, isn’t it? And Miko and Raphael’s cars?”

Optimus hummed. “Indeed. Arcee, Bumblee, and Bulkhead were the ones to initially partner with and save the children in that first encounter. After they were brought into the fold, it made only sense to assign them as their Autobot guardians.”

Sierra nodded as she took that all in. Then she frowned. “I’m involved now too, aren’t I? I would have been involved regardless, if the Decepticons were really after me, but Smokescreen saving me just means my involvement is going to be more pleasant than it otherwise would have been.”

Optimus and Ratchet shared yet another look, before casting their gazes to Smokescreen. The white bot fidgeted under their combined stares, head ducking and looking uncomfortable. “While we are not pleased that the youngling acted on impulse and charged into battle against protocol, we are pleased that he saved your life, young Sierra.” Optimus said after a moment.

Sierra blinked. “Youngling.” she repeated in confusion. Then she narrowed her eyes. “You’re not getting him into trouble for saving me, are you?” she asked heatedly. The very idea insulted her.

Optimus twitched as if startled, then rumbled a soft chuckle. “Youngling, yes. It is a term used by Cybertronians to refer to those of us who are not yet fully grown. Smokescreen is the equivalent of a human teenager.” he explained. “And worry not. In this instance, we can overlook the breach in regulations. It would send a poor message to punish a bot for upholding the Autobot creed.”

Sierra relaxed at that, nodding. Then she narrowed her eyes. “I’m going to want to have a discussion with you later about why you’re letting teenagers fight in a war, but I know now isn’t the time.” she said threateningly.

Both older bots startled back and her tone and words, and Smokescreen squeaked from behind her. She turned and drew a harsh line across her mouth before he could say anything, and she watched as he stared, slack-jawed, before closing his mouth with an audible clack. That done, she returned her attention to the apparent leader. There was one more thing she wanted settled.

“You said the others got guardians, right?”

A nod.

“Well, if I’m going to need one, and something tells me I will, then I want this one.” she jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Smokescreen.

Optimus’s eyes narrowed in what she realized was a faint smile. “If Smokescreen agrees, then I have no issues with that.” he hummed. “All I ask is that you remain here until our liaison with the human government arrives. Agent Fowler will want to discuss some matters with you before you return home.”

Sierra blinked. So the government knew about all this. That was good to know. It meant she wouldn’t get in trouble for conspiring with aliens if it ever came to light. She could also understand why they kept this whole thing a secret, even if governments hiding things from the public wasn’t always a good thing. In this case, it was a good thing.

“As long as I’m home before my curfew.” she agreed.

Another bow of that great head, and then Optimus was turning to stride away. Presumably to make contact with this Fowler. That left her and Smokescreen with Ratchet.

The stocky bot glanced at them, then turned to that odd console she’d noticed earlier. “Smokescreen will show you around.” Was all he said, waving them away with a dismissive flip of his hand.

Sierra, taking that as her cue, turned to the youngest bot. She thrust out her hand. “What do you say? Partners?”

He seemed confused, before slowly crouching and extending his hand to tap a finger to her palm. “Yeah, sure.” he seemed a little awed that she’d want to partner with him.

She smiled. “Good. In that case, why don’t you give me a ride and show me around your base?”

Smokescreen seemed confused. “Ride?”

“On your shoulder. I’d like to see it from your perspective.”

He blinked, then shrugged and put his hand, palm up, on the floor. Sierra took that as her que to climb up, and he carefully transferred her to his shoulder. Cool. Very cool. She just wanted to ride on the giant alien robot, and now she got to. That was cool.

She saw him look at her out of the corner of his bright, shining blue eyes, and she smiled warmly. “Well? Show me around your home, big guy. I’d like to get to know you.”

Smokescreen perked up, the little protrusions on his back wiggling with his apparent joy, and Sierra grinned a little wider. Oh, he was cute. How a giant robot could be endearing, she didn’t know, but he did it. He was sort of like a puppy. A giant, metal, alien puppy. She held on as he started walking, and she listened with half an ear, processing and noting what he told her as the rest of her mind turned over the events of her day.

It had been stressful, and scary, but now that it was all done and she was fine…

‘Yeah.’ she thought, watching her new partner eagerly show her around the small, hidden base he called home. ‘I think I’m gonna like it here.’

———————————————————————————————————

And that was that! I hoped you like it! It was fun to write. The show didn’t give Sierra a last name or a real personality, so I had to kind of do that bit myself. And I was right! I did enjoy writing this. The prompt inspired me to write this faster than I thought I’d be able to. I do not expect to be able to fill a prompt this quickly again. Unfortunately. Also, Sierra is definitely going to be the straight man to Smokescreen. He’s going to need it. Badly.

Until next time, friends!

#silkling request fics #request fic #tfp #transformers prime #tfp sierra #tfp starscream #tfp smokescreen #smokescreen #tfp optimus prime #Sierra joins Team Prime #smokescreen is her partner #maccadam

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snuggetfish · 3 years

Note

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think we ever see Majima interacting with modern technology or even struggle with it. I know he didn’t go to prison for years and emerge into a drastically different world like Kiryu and Ichiban, but I wonder what he thinks of modern technology. I could see him possibly struggling with it, or not even bothering to stay up to date on it. Idk, it’s just an interesting though to me lol

Yes, I’ve thought about this a lot too! Especially with how much the series likes to poke fun at the “old guys” for being clumsy with tech. Looking, at you, Taiga “Seedy Rawm” Saejima... 😂 You make a good point, though. All of these dudes - Kiryu, Ichiban, Saejima - have spent decades in prison. It makes sense that they’d be behind on the latest gadgets and I think once you’re behind, it’s easy to keep coasting on an inertia of sorts. “Why learn when I can keep doing it like I’ve always done it?” Don’t fix what ain’t broke.

So on the scale of tech skills, I would say Saejima is tech illiterate, Ichiban and Kiryu are somewhat literate, in that they’ve been taught to use specific devices and/or sites (smartphones for Ichiban, blogs for Kiryu) but are lost when it comes to anything else. And Majima... I wanna say Majima is tech literate, but not always tech savvy.

If I had to sum up how I see his attitude to technology, it’s: inquisitive, but impatient. He’s a curious guy by nature, evident in how he was eager to try that guy’s “cutting edge” bag phone in Y0 and how later on Goromi mentions she’s done a bit of everything throughout life, including “in-game gold farming”.

Majima will happily give anything a try if it piques his interest and I believe this would extend also to cool new gadgets. For instance, if he spots one of the younger family members showing off their smartwatch, he’ll confiscate it for an afternoon to poke at it and pester Nishida with questions about every button whose purpose he can’t immediately discern. Also, given he boasted that Majima Construction would build Kamurocho Hills by looking it up on the Internet, I think he’s at least aware of search engines, forums and online guides. Even if he somewhat overestimates the usefulness of the info they provide hah.

As with most things, were he to put some proper effort in, he could get the hang of just about any device, however... he gets bored easily and dislikes fiddly stuff. If it’s got lots of tiny parts and needs more than than 10 minutes and 2 steps, Majima’s not doing it. In Dead Souls he tells Saaya he even finds texting a pain in the ass:

So I think he would only really master simple tech that serves his whims. He spots an ad about a fancy new tracking device, with a big screen and all the bells and whistles? He’s sold. Kiryu-chan better watch out from now on, because he’s not escaping his ambushes any more. He hears a pitch on smart TVs? Nishida’s gonna be hauling one into his apartment the very next day, together with a huge zombie movie collection on Blu-ray.

In a nutshell, Majima’s perfectly capable of adapting to a modern world, but for the most part he’s just too busy or too plain disinterested to adopt every new invention that comes along. And, for things like photos or important messages, his sentimental side wins out. Don’t tell anyone, but he’d prefer to have those in physical form, printed out or handwritten 💙

Ok in closing let me do another comparison between the guys because I had too much fun picturing these:

Saejima is the guy who’s got 5 malware toolbars installed on his browser, all because he misclicked and didn’t even realize what he was doing. He’s also got at least 3 different facebook accounts because he keeps landing on the “sign up” instead of the log in page. Also his taskbar is either on the right or on top of the screen because, again, he dragged it there by accident.

Kiryu is the guy who’s got 10 malware toolbars installed, plus some cursors, because he purposefully downloaded them. He “thought they were cool”. Haruka has to come purge them every 6 months. He’s got one facebook account, whose password he keeps on a sticky note on his computer. He uses it mostly to post dad angle selfies and comment on every single one of Haruka’s posts.

Ichiban is mostly the same, just that his PC is a shrine to his friends. He’s got them as his desktop background and he makes sure to leave one of those sparkly “Hope you have a blessed morning” gifs on their profiles every day.

Majima is the guy whose computer is as barebones as it gets. No personalization, just a folder thrown haphazardly on the desktop, with meeting notes taken by Nishida during the family’s usual “crazy scheme brainstorming sessions”. He gets the occasional moaning porn pop-up because... well, because he’s got a questionable browsing history. Says he doesn’t use facebook, but in fact does have an anonymous account to stalk the people he knows. And when he’s really, really bored, he’ll watch a baseball stream and leave heckling comments like “man, I coulda farted that ball straighter than ya hit it”

#anon asks #yakuza #majima goro #goro majima #snugasks

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cuquitalocita · 3 years

Text

kids and car rides- feysand

AN: hi yes hello there- again, it’s been a hot minute since i’ve written anything so here’s something i’ve been pushing myself through for these past couple of days. this is my first time writing feysand so i’m sorry if this sucks- i have to wake up for school in... five hours... so... yeah. if there’s any typos or the plot is kinda... ?? just... cut me some slack :) anyway, hope you enjoy!

part two

Feyre was going to murder her boyfriend.

No- mutilate was more like it. How and where were truly her only thoughts as she glanced around her at the full bleachers of screaming students covered in black and blue face paint.

Dating Tamlin Hybern had been nice at first- surreal if anything. When the star lacrosse player had taken an interest in the quiet girl at the back of the class who spent her free time in an art studio, Feyre had been flattered. He had asked her out in between classes a few months ago and Feyre had managed to stutter out a blushing, yes, still reeling that the handsome blonde had even noticed her.

But her relationship was dull and boring, lacking in color, and gods, Feyre needed to end it.

Tamlin had dragged her to the football game, practically begging on his knees for her to come with him. Feyre had relented, not even having enough time to shower after her art class before Tamlin was picking her up. But the second they had pulled up to the school and gotten out of his truck, Tamlin had disappeared with Lucien and left her in the bleachers with nothing more than a kiss on the cheek and a promise to find her later.

It left Feyre seeing red. The crowd raged around her as the Bats scored a touchdown, and Feyre glanced at her phone. Shit. It was seven-thirty, meaning Nesta had already left on her date with Tomas, leaving Feyre without a ride home. Elain was out with her friends, actually enjoying her Friday night as a teenage girl should, and Feyre was left alone and ready to leave.

She had been at the game for thirty minutes, in which the sun had gone down, blanketing the sky in a twilight full of stars. Feyre would stay if only to watch them a little longer- her favorite thing to paint. But as the crowd raged again, Feyre stood up from her spot on the bleachers and began pushing her way through the crowd and back to the parking lot, ready to walk home. It was only a few miles, really, and she had her sneakers on. She could manage.

“Feyre!” A kind voice broke through her thoughts before she was halfway through the crowd, and she turned to see the familiar face of Morrigan from French class.

Feyre’s lips turned up into a smile at the sight of the girl and her racing heart calmed a little as Mor came closer, stopping in front of her.

“Hey, Mor.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you hated football.” Mor’s question was innocent, lacking the judgemental tone that most people would have added on.

“I do,” she snorted. “But Tamlin wanted me to come, so here I am.”

Mor’s smile turned down at the mention of her boyfriend. The girl had never tried to hide her dislike for Feyre’s boyfriend, even if the two of them weren’t very close and although she should have been offended, Feyre relished in her honesty. “Either way, I’m ready to go. See you Monday, Mor.”

“Wait, do you need a ride?” Feyre smiled, shaking her head at her easy kindness. She knew she liked Mor.

“Thanks, but it’s really fine. I only live a few miles down the road- I’ll be fine to walk. Besides, we’re not even halfway through the game. Stay.” Mor bit her lip, clearly deciding whether or not to pick a fight, but Feyre fixed her with a look that eventually had her sighing.

“Ugh, fine. But text me when you get home. Who knows what kind of creeps are wandering around here.” Feyre nodded, squeezing Mor’s hands in thanks, and left the bleachers, stopping only when she was back in the student parking lot.

She pulled out her phone, remembering that she came here with her boyfriend.

>> Hey wasn’t feeling well. Getting a ride home from Nes.

It was five minutes before he responded.

<< sure thing- see you later babe

Feyre scoffed, shoving her phone into her back pocket. Unlike Mor, he had not asked her if she was okay and to text him when she was home safe. She had told him that Nesta had a date too- which he obviously hadn’t been paying attention to.

Ready to start walking, Feyre patted her pockets, looking for her ID, just in case anything happened, only to find them empty.

“Godsdamn it,” Feyre muttered under her breath, realizing she must have forgotten her wallet back on the bleachers. Turning back to the field, Feyre almost tripped on her own feet when she heard a little voice behind her say,

“That’s a bad word. And my mommy says you shouldn’t say bad words.”

Spinning back around, she was surprised to see a little girl- no older than six staring up at her and twisting her little fingers together. Her jet black hair was pulled back into two short ponytails and Feyre swore she was one of the cutest things she had ever seen. Bewildered, Feyre stared for a moment before shaking her head.

“Uh- yes. You’re right- I… I shouldn’t have said that. And neither should you.” The little girl just continued to look at her in silence, causing Feyre to raise her brows. Who was this girl? And why was she by herself? What kind of parent left a little girl alone at a high school at almost eight o’clock?

“What’s your name? Are you lost?”

“My mommy says I shouldn’t talk to strangers.” At that, Feyre smiled a little bit. She bent down, putting her weight on her knees so she was eye level with the girl, and mustered up her friendliest smile.

“That’s very smart of her. Well, how about this?” Feyre stuck her hand out to the girl who eyed it warily but didn’t back away. “My name is Feyre. I go to school here. There, now we aren’t strangers anymore.”

The girl’s eyes widened and it was then that Feyre noticed their unique color, unlike any she had ever seen before. Her eyes were a beautiful violet, and in the reflection of the moon, she swore she could see stars in her eyes.

The little girl took her hand, practically dwarfed from the size of Feyre’s, and she gave Feyre a small smile that had her melting just a bit.

“My name is Thebe,” she finally said, her voice small.

“Well Thebe, are you lost?” She nodded, looking at the ground. Feyre gently took her small hand, forcing the girl to look at her, and smiled again. She could see small tears beginning to form in the little girl’s eyes.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry. I’ll help you get back. Who are you here with?”

“My brother,” she responded, and Feyre clenched her teeth. What kind of brother left his little sister alone? With all the fighting she did with Nesta, Feyre knew her sister would never have left her alone in a public place, let alone at night. Once again, Feyre was seeing red.

“Okay then. Is he at the football game?” Thebe nodded, and Feyre deduced that she must have snuck off into the crowd, bored with the game. She couldn’t say she blamed her.

Taking the girl’s hand in her own and trying not to sigh when little fingers wrapped and her own, Feyre led the little girl back to the raging football game.

“Do you think you can show me where you were?” Thebe nodded and gripped her fingers tighter, pulling Feyre through the bleachers, using her as a shield from the crazy teenagers.

Feyre saw Tamlin through the crowd and quickly averted her gaze, focusing back on the girl in front of her until they came to a stop on one of the bottom bleachers. It was surprisingly empty, other than being filled up with athletic bags and water bottles.

Feyre frowned, following Thebe as she sat down next to one of the bags and pulled out a small jacket that was clearly her own.

“Thebe, where is your brother?” It was then that the little girl pointed out to the field. “Your brother is playing?” Thebe nodded, leaning her small head on Feyre’s shoulder, her hair tickling her neck, and Feyre admitted that maybe she could stay at the game a little longer, even if she would eventually have to deal with one of the loathsome jocks. But her blood still boiled at the fact that her brother had left her alone. Gods know what could have happened to her if someone else had found her.

“Why did you let me walk you back?” Feyre wondered aloud. Thebe shrugged.

“You’re pretty. My brother says you can always trust a girl with pretty brown hair.” Feyre blushed, the compliment warming her to her toes.

“I think you’re pretty too Thebe,” she whispered.

It was only then that Feyre realized how cold it had gotten. She shivered, running the free hand that wasn’t around Thebe up her arm, which was barely covered with a paint-stained t-shirt. Thebe only reached into the bag in front of her and pulled out a much larger jacket, one with the familiar school colors. She handed it to Feyre, who quickly realized it was a varsity jacket.

“This is your brother’s jacket Thebe. I can’t-”

“He would share.” Feyre fixed her with a look which Thebe returned with a more convincing one. “Trust me- he would.” Another shiver ran through her and Feyre, sighed, relenting, and shoved her arms into the jacket, immediately warmed.

They stayed there for a while, watching the game in silence as Thebe began to doze off on her shoulder. Feyre hid her smile as the bleachers creaked, announcing that another person was coming to sit. She looked up to see Cassian Guerra lifting himself onto the bleachers, a carefree grin on his all-too handsome face. The football player’s hair was pulled up in a bun and Feyre vaguely remembered Nesta saying something about him. She doubted it had been positive.

Feyre remembered Tamlin mentioning how Cassian had gotten injured and was out for the season. It was cool of him to come and support his team.

His hazel eyes glanced over the little girl next to him and he grinned.

“Hey, Thee, I thought you were with Az. New babysitter?” Feyre scowled and the little girl seemed to brighten as she looked at Cassian- then at Feyre.

“New friend,” was all she said, bringing a smile to both her and Cassian’s faces. It was then that he truly looked at her, and a spark of recognition flashed through his eyes.

“Hey, you’re-”

Cassian broke off as a buzzer sounded through the stadium and the crowd erupted into cheers. He was grinning at her, and Feyre managed back a small smile as Thebe shoved her head into her shoulder. The crowd began emptying out, and Feyre turned to Cassian, meaning to ask what she should do with the little girl. Not that Feyre was too eager to part from her. But he had vanished, finding somewhere else to be, and Feyre huffed, waking the little girl.

“Alright, I think it’s time we found your brother.” Feyre got up from the bleachers, taking the little girl down to the field where most of the players were still talking to each other and clanking helmets. “Okay, tell me when you see-”

“Rhysie!”

Feyre’s heart dropped into her stomach as she realized who the little girl was pointing at. Because not ten feet from her, looking impossibly attractive in a way that shouldn’t be possible after sweating for two hours straight, was the bane of her existence. With his jet black hair and twin eyes to Thebe’s, he looked like a god made man.

“Your brother is Rhysand Knight?” Feyre practically screeched at the little girl holding her hand.

Thebe nodded excitedly as Rhysand jogged over to his little sister who had quickly abandoned Feyre’s hand and met him halfway. He scooped her up into his arms easily, the grin on his face much too gorgeous for a high school boy, and Feyre grit her teeth.

Maybe it was just her, Feyre realized, that had to have some sort of connection with the most popular boys in school while managing to remain in the background herself. Rhysand was the captain of the football team and unsurprisingly, loved by most of the people in the school. If he wasn’t so infuriating, Feyre may have even liked him.

But from debating her points in English class to attempting to speak to her afterward, Rhysand Knight was nothing more than a massive pain in Feyre’s ass. A handsome pain, coincidentally, but Feyre refused to acknowledge that at the moment.

“Hey Thee,” he smiled, placing the girl down. “Enjoy the game?”

It was only then that he noticed Feyre standing behind his sister. It seemed that widening eyes ran in the family, as Rhysand did the same thing his sister had as he gazed at her.

“H-hey,” he stuttered, the sound strange coming from his usually smooth lips. “Feyre, right?”

She awaited the inevitable words that always came after the sentence. Tamlin’s girlfriend, right?

“From English. With Suriel?” Feyre started in place. So he had remembered her.

But as Thebe ran up to her and tugged at her hand, Feyre ignored the flipping of her heart in her chest at his nervous smile. Instead, she nodded, her movements jerky and final as she arched an angry brow at him.

“Did you enjoy the game?” he asked, smiling casually again. Feyre huffed.

“I would have enjoyed it a lot more if I didn’t have to worry about something happening to your sister. I found her wandering around alone in the parking lot,” she snapped.

Rhysand frowned, glancing at Thebe quickly before looking back at her, pinning Feyre in place with his gaze.

“What are you talking about? I left her with Cassian and Azriel. They’re like brothers to her and they were watching her the whole time.” Feyre fixed him with a look that said they clearly weren’t and Rhysand’s gaze turned frustrated as he seemed to realize what had happened.

He sighed, kneeling down until he was eye level with his sister who seemed to be looking everywhere but at him. The sight brought a small smile to Feyre’s face.

“What did I say about running off Thee? And what did Mom say about talking to strangers?”

“But she said her name is Feyre, like the one you and Cass and Az talk about all the-” Rhysand cut off his sister’s rambling with a playful hand over her mouth and Feyre could have sworn she saw bits of red dotting his cheeks. She pushed away from the thought of how cute she found it.

“Alright, I think it’s past your bedtime you little menace.” Thebe narrowed her eyes and bit at her brother’s hand, causing him to leap back with a curse, earning an instinctual laugh from Feyre.

His gaze snapped to hers, softening at her laughing face, and his own turned into a small grin that sent her heart fluttering.

Shit Fey, you have a boyfriend.

Her cheeks colored as she noticed Rhysand’s gaze conspicuously running up and down her body and she realized she still had his jacket on. Feyre cursed under her breath, just loud enough for him to hear as she fumbled for the zipper on his jacket.

“Sorry, I was freezing. Here-”

“No!” Rhysand cut her off and the blush returned to his cheeks. “I mean- it- you look- uh, you’re just gonna be cold again. Keep it- for now.” Feyre shook her head, unzipping the jacket and handing it to him.

“I should head home anyway. Good game.” She tried for a friendly smile. She had never given him one. Feyre leaned down until she was eye level with Thebe.

“Thanks for being my game buddy,” she whispered. Thebe beamed, throwing her arms around Feyre’s neck. She hugged the little girl back and tried not to look at Rhysand, whose gaze she could feel on the two of them.

“Feyre, do you need a ride? I saw Tamlin leave and didn’t know...” His voice rolled over the words like midnight and Feyre shook her head.

“Thanks but I really don’t live far-”

“It’s going to start raining soon, and I’m not letting you walk home in the dark. Just take the gesture Feyre.” He sounded exasperated, running a hand through his hair. Her eyes narrowed.

“And what, Rhysand, makes you think I want anything from you?”

“Rhys.”

“What?”

“People call me Rhys. Especially people who let me drive them home from football games.” Feyre shook her head in disbelief.

“Gods, you’re relentless, aren’t you?”

“It’s one of my best qualities darling,” he smirked.

And there it was, that insufferable charm that had every girl at school drooling over him. Feyre couldn’t say she blamed them, even if it did slightly annoy her. She finally smiled, reaching over to cover Thebe’s ears with her hands.

“Only second to being a prick?”

“If I say yes will you let me take you home?” Feyre rolled her eyes and Rhys’ grin widened, both of them knowing she had long since relented. Rhys handed Feyre his jacket and she grumbled, shoving her arms through.

“Give me a second to find my wallet, then I’ll meet you at your car.” Rhys practically beamed in triumph, scooping his sister back up in his arms and heading back to the parking lot. Feyre loathed admitting that she watched them until they were out of her line of sight.

She sighed. It was those damn eyes. It had to be.

And it was because of those eyes that ten minutes later, Feyre sat in the passenger seat of Rhysand Knight’s jet black ford fusion. Thebe was in the back, kicking her feet to the beat of whatever song was playing on the radio- one that Feyre couldn’t hear over the pounding of her own heart, and Feyre eyed the little girl through her side mirror so not as to look at the boy beside her. She was keenly aware of the small amount of space between them.

Rhys drove safely, unsurprisingly through their small town, and Feyre gazed out the window until Rhys cleared his throat. She turned to him.

��So… how are you liking Bronte so far?” Feyre frowned before realizing that he was talking about the book they were reading in English. The book he had argued with her about to no end.

“I think you know the answer to that Rhys, considering you make it your business to disagree with me.” Surprisingly, the words held no bite to them, and Rhys smiled without taking his eyes away from the road.

“Well, darling, if you didn’t make it so easy to disagree with you, maybe I wouldn’t have to.” Feyre gaped at him and it was purely instinctual as she reached over the center console and shoved his shoulder as if they were best friends that did it all the time. Gods, what was she doing? She hated him. Maybe.

But if Rhys was surprised by her actions, he didn’t show it as he let out a laugh. Damn, that sound would be staying with her.

“Look, I’ll give it to Catherine-”

“If this ends with any Heathcliff support I will jump out of this car Rhysand,” she cut him off, tone deadly serious.

“No!” Thebe called from the back, causing both of the teens to laugh, catching each other's gazes before Feyre quickly looked away. She couldn’t be more grateful for how dark it was in the car so Rhys couldn’t see the blush attacking her cheeks.

“So, what brought you to the game tonight? Not that you don’t seem like that type of girl but you… don’t seem like that type of girl.” His chuckle sent goosebumps up her arm even though she was still wearing his jacket. Feyre fidgeted her fingers and gazed down at her lap as she shrugged.

“Uh, Tamlin asked me to come so… here I am.”

“Here you are… in my car.” Feyre sucked in a breath, glaring at Rhys from the side of her eye. The rivalry between the two athletes was no secret, and Feyre had yet to figure out where it had originated.

“It’s not like that, Rhys. He thought I left. I had… until I ran into a certain black-haired beauty.” Feyre smiled at the side mirror where she could still see Thebe singing along to the radio. Rhys finally smiled too.

“That’s fair. I know I can be a lot to look at once.” Feyre shoved him again, both of them laughing, and Feyre questioned when her life had turned so off-kilter.

“Shut up, prick.” She didn’t joke with Rhysand Knight. She didn’t even talk to Rhysand Knight outside of class. So what in the gods was happening?

“Turn here,” she directed, shoving herself out of her thoughts. Rhys obeyed, moments later pulling up in front of her dark house where clearly none of her sisters were home. They sat there in silence for what seemed like eons. Just… sitting there.

“Well-”

“I-”

The two laughed as they cut each other off and Feyre shrugged off Rhys’ jacket, shoving it into the open athletic bag next to Thebe, who grabbed her hand before she could pull back.

“Are you leaving?” she pouted. Feyre gave her a kind, tired smile, and nodded.

“Sorry Thebe, it’s past my bedtime. But I’m sure I’ll see you around, yeah?” The girl nodded excitedly and Feyre almost startled back when she turned to see Rhys looking at her with a strange expression on his face.

“What?” Rhys shook his head as if erasing the thoughts.

“Nothing… you just… surprise me.” Feyre snorted, ignoring the blush that had risen to her cheeks.

“Yes, well, my kid whispering does tend to floor men at times.” But Rhys didn’t smile, or say anything in return, leaving Feyre to raise her brows and clear her throat. “So, I guess it’s my turn to head out.” Feyre placed her hand on the door handle before turning back to the boy next to her. “Thank you. For the ride.”

Finally, Rhys smiled, his eyes betraying something that looked almost like… anxiety.

“Hey, Feyre?” The car door had just shut behind her when she heard his voice again.

“Hmm?”

“Would you want to…” Rhys scratched at the back of his neck and Feyre arched a brow.

“Would I want to…?”

“Uh,” he cleared his throat. “Go over art notes sometime?” Feyre frowned, fully turning back around and crossing her arms in front of her body to shield herself from the night chill.

“I didn’t know you were in art.”

“Yeah uh- new class.” Feyre nodded, tapping her foot on the ground as she stared him down. Rhys stared right back, clearly unsure of what her answer could be. And she couldn’t help it as a small smile graced her face.

“I’ll think about it,” was all she said. “Goodnight, Rhysie.”

Feyre laughed at the sound of Rhys banging his head on the steering wheel and approached her house once more, using her phone flashlight to find the spare key Nesta had hidden somewhere. It was for that reason that she was still outside when Thebe’s little voice spoke to her brother.

“I like her hair. With the colors. She looks like a princess.” A frown graced Feyre’s lips once more as she subtly inspected a strand of her hair, wondering what the child was talking about. Sure enough, the strands crunched under her fingertips and Feyre had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming in embarrassment.

Of course, Feyre had forgone taking a shower before going to the game. And of course, she had been using her last period of the day as a free period in the art studio. And of course, she had mistakenly dyed her hair with acrylic paint that she had now kept while being in a car relatively alone, with one of the most attractive boys in school. Not that she cared about that, of course.

Cheeks burning, Feyre finally found the key and rushed into her empty home, wishing for nothing more than a black hole to swallow her whole in her embarrassment.

But if only Feyre had waited; had paused for more than a moment or tried to hear over the raging sea of emotions inside of her head, she would have heard Rhys’ dazed voice speaking words she wouldn’t even conjure up in a dream.

“Yeah. Yeah, she does.”

hope you liked it :)

#feysand #feyre archeron #rhysand #acotar #morrigan #a court of thorns and roses #sjm #feysand fic

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trainthief · 3 years

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how do u orient yourself walking off trail? do u bring a compass?

Unfortunately for you you’ve just asked a question I love talking about, so I’m going to give you a very detailed answer...

First thing’s first: there’s a lot of different types of terrain across the US, not to mention the world, and navigating across each of them is a bit different. I have the most experience navigating mountainous regions in large stretches of public land, so a lot of my instincts come from that, and even though the navigational skills I’ve developed are pretty translatable I’m still pretty far on my back foot if I’m set in an entirely new ecosystem. Using your home court advantage is the first step to navigation. For me, the best example of this is that there’s certain distinctive mountain peaks in my area that I know will be in a specific direction relative to me. In order to get those sorts of landmarks established in your mind, its helpful to have a memory device of some sort attached to them. For example, there’s a particularly dramatic looking peak with a distinctive cliffside that - as long as I can see its sheer drop - I know means I’m standing west of it. That in itself means the mountain is more or less due east, which I remember by associating that mountain with all my friends who live east of me out in Chicago and New York and boston and michigan and what else have you. Almost everything is east of me. That also means the west is at my back, which I remember by recalling how much I dislike Californians. From there North and South are pretty obvious.

Anyway, regarding compasses: they’re a great navigational tool, especially when they’re paired with a topo map. Even so, the use of both isn’t necessarily as intuitive as you might think, and although I was taught wilderness survival and avalanche preparedness for a week every year in grade school I have to imagine that’s not the norm most places. As far as compasses go, the first piece of advice I’d give is not to trust one that’s attached to anything else. The compass on a whistle or the zipper of your jacket or even the one on your phone are going to be hardly better than a magnetized needle in a bowl of water, since they’ll only give you a shaky sense of magnetic north - which is not in itself even the same thing as true north. That said, an expensive compass isn’t really necessary either. A basic suunto compass is really all you need, because it’ll allow you to set the declination (basically, the distance in degrees between magnetic north and true north in the area where you are) which can almost always be found on your topographic map. Following magnetic north rather than true north can get you hundreds of yards off of your course for every mile you walk. Regarding topographic maps, they’re hugely helpful, but they’re also not hyper-accurate. Lots of smaller landmarks will be left off, and larger landmarks are prone to change even within the year or two since the map was last printed. Avalanches or glacier movements can throw off your interpretation of a region pretty significantly. Still, finding larger landmarks such as lakes and ridges and making sure they appear where you expect them to is enormously helpful. A topographic map is also going to provide you with a general sense of the flow of the land, most importantly in terms of which general direction the ridges you are navigating seem to travel. Adding your own deductive reasoning helps flesh out any sense of place you might be missing. If you come across a stream that isn’t marked, you can still infer that it likely comes from snow runoff from the mountain it is leading away from, and is traveling toward a larger body of water that is likely marked on your map. If you can find the peak and the lake, you then know roughly where you are. If you want to pinpoint your location more precisely, you can scan around for a third landmark, find it on your map, and triangulate your position using your compass. I’d also recommend marking points of interest on your map. I often do that with locations that seem popular with animals, just because that’s of interest to me, but more concrete locations are much smarter. I also find that I tend to remember things best if I say them aloud, so often as I walk past a point of interest I might say to myself “giant-ass boulder next to a lightning-struck tree, and I’m heading north of them”.

Technology is also a good idea. I’ve been meaning to buy a GPS unit, probably a Garmin, but I haven’t wanted to drop the money yet. I do use an app called onX Hunt, because it has really detailed coverage of topography and private land, so I can make sure I’m heading into public areas and not the buffer forest to somebody’s ranch (especially since people around here really love their castle doctrine). Generally, though, I wouldn’t recommend relying on your phone.

If worst comes to worst, there’s a few fail safes you can always count on. Following a river downstream is a good bet, as is following the slope of the land downhill. There tends to be more civilization in valleys than on top of mountains. The North Star is a well-known and reliable one, as is the sun rising in the east and setting in the west (although it’s important to remember that with the exception of the equinoxes it’s never EXACTLY due east or west). If you see a large flock of geese or ducks flying above you you can know that their v shape points toward south in the fall and north in the spring. The idea that moss grows on any particular side of a tree is a fake one, don’t bother with it. To that point: never do anything you’ve seen Bear Grylls do. The guy’s a reality star, and his entire job is to overdramaticize and sensationalize the situations he goes into. Usually the solutions he comes up with are the absolute last resort anyone with any wilderness sense would ever attempt, and there’s a dozen much safer and less stupid things you can try first. I won’t pretend there’s no risk at all. Especially in areas like the intermountain west and Alaska - where there’s huge stretches of public backcountry land that isn’t groomed and maintained in the way that your typical hiking trails are, but is still there for public recreational use - there are plenty of ways to get yourself hurt. I know a handful of people who have died or been seriously injured out there, and once a month or so I’ll hear the search and rescue helicopters flying around the mountain where I live. But it’s also worth considering that going into the backcountry is my state’s favorite pastime, whether it’s for skiing or hiking or snowshoeing or snowmobiling or horseback riding or hunting or fishing or camping or rock climbing or mountaineering or 100 other possibilities. It can be dangerous out there, but the source of that danger is largely just that the safety net of society has been removed from you. You’re far and away more likely to burn yourself on your own campfire because you weren’t being smart than you are to be attacked by a mountain lion. And even if you get yourself in a sticky situation, you’ve got plenty of opportunities to get yourself out of it. One of my uncles in particular has had to be picked up by search and rescue a handful of times, because he likes wandering off trail but neglects to pay much attention to the direction he’s doing it. He’s still alive, healthy, and perfectly happy.

Anyway, as for me personally, my favorite reason to go off trail is to follow animal tracks (and to just generally get miles away from the nearest human being). The winter is a great time to do it, because the presence and freshness of the tracks is often extremely obvious. On a good day, it’s easy to head in and follow something for miles, only to turn around and backtrack your own trail to your car. Still, I wouldn’t let that be your one and only source of navigation, since a sudden winter storm or an unexpected amount of melt could screw the whole thing over.

That’s much more answer than you likely expected or wanted, but hope at least some of it was helpful to you! Have a good one.

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alsjeblieft-zeg · 2 years

Text

301 of 2022

There are some statements about me & my life. How much are we alike?

©halolalassurveys

My appearance/fashion: I’m tall. I have hazel eyes. My natural hair colour is brown. My hair is dyed unnatural colour. I have a tattoo. I have piercings in places other than my ears. All my non-ear piercings are facial piercings. I’m neither fat nor skinny. I have long fingers. I wear acrylic nails. I wear glasses. I like to wear my hair in one or two buns. I wear hoodies a lot. I also like pretty dresses. I always wear earrings. I always wear eyeliner and mascara. I have long hair. I have big feet. I never wear clothes with buttons. I wear leggings a lot.

Family: My parents are together. My parents are married. I’m an only child. I’m close to my cousins and treat them like siblings. One of my grandparents is still alive. I don’t want to have children. I’ve never had a chance to know my both grandfathers.

Health: I’ve had a serious medical condition recently. I’ve been admitted to the hospital recently. I go for rehabilitation once a day. I go for ergotherapy twice a week. I’ve had major surgery recently. I’ve got a partial paresis of one of my limbs. I’ve never had a viral disease in my life. My immune system is very strong. I exercise daily. I used to have strep throat once every year in the past. I have some visual impairment. I have some big scars from the surgery. I have seasonal allergies. I’m allergic to nuts.

Things I like: Cats. Summer. Warm weather. The beach. Shopping. Watching silly soap operas just for relaxing after a long day. Reading books. Photography. Travelling. My job. My school. Learning new things. Shortwave radio. Conspiracy theories. Unexplained mysteries. Thunderstorms. Sunrises. Make up. Fashion. Putting outfits together. Magazines. Crystals. Gemstones. Glitter. Sequins. Mornings. Goth fashion. The air after rain.

Things I dislike: Bugs. Slow internet. Winter. Snow. Getting up early. Feeling not good enough. Arguments. Know-it-alls. Being sick.

Things you can find in my bag: phone wallet earphones lipgloss hand cream tissues cleaning spray for glasses pens notebook coins powerbank with a cable hand disinfectant

Things I own: hair straightener curling iron hair crimper blow dryer laptop tablet Samsung smartphone good brand headphones smart TV flat screen TV in my bedroom Playstation 5 // my husband does Xbox 360 // see above wireless internet electric toothbrush 30+ pairs of shoes wireless printer an old bike camera powerbank for travels 10+ bottles of perfume

Things I like to eat/drink: fries fish chicken broccoli cauliflower carrots Chinese food Italian food Polish food Finnish food rice hard-boiled eggs cereal with milk oatmeal yogurts strawberries cherries coffee cherry coca cola sushi mushrooms peas beans cabbage lettuce cheese cottage cheese fries waffles white chocolate spicy food

Things I don’t like to eat/drink: pork steak seafood watermelon mango avocado spinach cucumbers sweets olives raisins nuts green tea dark chocolate avocado

Travel: I’ve never been in the US. I have visited Germany. I have visited Poland. I have visited France. I have visited the Netherlands. I have visited Denmark. I have visited Belgium.

Countries I want to visit: The Netherlands France Spain Hungary Finland Sweden England United States Iceland Turkey Japan Thailand

Some random facts about me: I have a cat. // two I’m in a long time relationship. I share a house with my partner. My house is rented. I live in Europe. I was born in Europe. I speak more than two languages. English is not my native language. I speak Dutch. I speak Polish. I wish I could speak more languages. I have OCD. I prefer to buy expensive brand perfume because it smells better and lasts for longer. I live far from my parents. Shortwave radio is one of my hobbies. I wish I had the ham radio licence. I know Morse code. I know ICAO phonetic alphabet. I’m on the autism spectrum. I have a job. I love my job. I’m in my 30s. I like all kinds of music with no particular preference. If I had to choose one music genre I don’t like, it’s country, dubstep and k-pop. I prefer hugs than kisses. I believe every music artist has at least one song that is worth listening. I take medicines on a daily basis. I’m allergic to hazelnuts. // more like nuts in general I get migraines often. I still read young adult books. I have three soap operas that I watch daily. I watch documentaries. I can live without sex. I prefer cats than dogs. I can’t roll my tongue. I’m an only child. I know what a Dutch ‘coffee shop’ is. I’m kind of tempted to visit one of these coffee shops. I have never smoked a cigarette. I think weed should be legal. My birthday is in spring. Taking surveys is one of my hobbies. I collect notebooks. I love planning. I own and use a paperbook planner. I love buying books. I hate small talk. I’m ambidextrous. // now by must, I still consider myself a leftie lol I’m interested in how things work. My job is a technical job that requires skills and proper education. I hate making phone calls. I prefer talking than texting. I can cook basically every soup. I’m pretty outspoken. I’ve grown up having pet animals at home. I like white wine. I think Snapchat filters are childish. I hate TikTok. I rarely use social media. I don’t like movies. I love long, bright days in summer. I’m bilingual. I share life between two countries. I don’t like sweets. I believe every artist has at least one good song. I live in a country where voting is mandatory. // well. It’s mandatory to vote in major elections, minor ones are voluntary :P

#survey #bolding survey #themed survey

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ifeelallwrite · 3 years

Text

Let’s talk about Hospital Playlist. (KDRAMA REVIEW)

note: does contain spoilers

When people ask me what is my favorite Korean drama of all time, with no doubt, IT’S HOSPITAL PLAYLIST. This drama has the comic relief, the emotional scenes, realistic characters-just to name a few. No toxic relationships and petty revenge fights. Nothing else will stop me for saying that this is the ultimate feel good drama.

SYNOPSIS: The drama shows insights into the daily lives of doctors and nurses working at Yulje Medical Hospital. It focuses on 5 doctors who have been friends since medical school, who also play together as a band.

This drama encompasses so many elements and characters so bear with me yo this might be real long

Hospital Playlist is produced/written by the Shin-Lee PD and writer pairing, whose previous works were the renowned Reply trilogy and Prison Playbook (which are *chef’s kiss*) I really like that all their dramas really highlight humanism, and puts emphasis on creating a heartwarming and realistic series. There isn’t always a major conflict to be resolved, but instead it showcases how different people-in this case mostly those in the medical field-go on about their daily lives. I also liked their reasoning to produce a medical drama which was that hospitals were where the most dramatic moments occurred, for example during births, deaths or sickness. And since we are still in the Covid-19 pandemic, it ties in greatly to be paying homage to all the medical personnel saving lives. Hence, props to those who were involved in this meaningful masterpiece <3

The drama is not the usual 16 episodes, but has 12 episodes for each season (SEASON 2 IS COMING SOON YAAS) Good thing is I felt that they were still able to weave a dynamic storyline in the first season even with lesser episodes. The writing was just top-notch with the witty humor bits. Additionally, the music is AMAZING. I love the concept of the main characters being a band and playing different songs every episode too.

Okay, now onto the characters. I thought that every character in this drama was well rounded. Starting of with the main five characters, also known as The 99ers, whose distinctive personalities and natural chemistry make all of them extremely likeable. All main characters are professors of different specialties, and I find the male OB-GYN (Seokhyeong) and female neurosurgeon (Songhwa) very refreshing. Also, I like Shin-Lee dramas always have characters that might be realistic yet hardly seen in other dramas or films. For example, Professor Ahn Jeongwon. Despite being a chaebol (inheritor/heir), he isn’t depicted as a spoilt brat or a cold character, instead as a warm Pediatric doctor who uses his wealth to secretly support patients in need. However it makes him stingy to his friends LOL

To be honest, I really thought I was gonna dislike Junwan due to his cold and tsundere nature. I pretty much believed that he was going to be the party pooper type of the bunch, but with the writer being a master of character development, he turned out to be really sincere and hilarious at times. Same for Ikjun, who apart from his enthusiastic and happy go lucky exterior, cares the most about the people around him. Although Seokhyeong seemed detached and introverted, he shows a emotional side to his friends as well as his mother. Songhwa is literally a girlboss though haha she’s smart, capable and gets along with everyone well. And she’s the most sane out of the bunch.

With all the main characters, we have the relationships. Junwan is the first to date seriously with Iksun (the dog or Micky? jkjk) who is Ikjun’s sister. When it first happened I was like not again Jung Kyung Ho (bc he dated his best friend’s sis in prison playbook too LMAO) I think their relationship was realistic and open. It also showed a more sensitive side to Junwan who would do anything for her. I especially liked how he said he didn’t need access to her phone because he trusted her. Yet as all couples do, they have their fair share of ups and downs. Like conflicts on getting married and a long distance relationship as Iksun moves overseas for graduate studies. I don’t really know how to take the ambiguous ending for these two, as Junwan receives the returned box (that has the ring he sent) I really hope nothing bad happens to these two though.

I’m sure we all love Wintergarden couple though, tbh they’re kinda my OTP at the moment 🤣 It was pretty much a ‘will they won’t they’ relationship with a relatively slow build. I think Gyeoul turned out to be one of my favourite characters. Shin Hyun Been did a good job at portraying her as a straightforward but innocent Resident, who is pretty much openly crushing on Jeongwon. The scenes they had together were adorably awkward (and the scene where he gives her chocopies omg) And when Jeongwon battles his inner conflict to become a priest, the final decision where they kiss was beautifully shot, with the actors both showcasing their emotions extremely well.

Then we have Chihong who pursues Songhwa, his professor. Midway through the drama, it is also shown that Ikjun and Songhwa might have had romantic feelings for each other. Songhwa ends up rejecting Chihong’s confession. In my opinion, Chihong was quite a interesting character but I didn’t really like him at the end. (I like the actor though) He did a real jerk move during drinking games, insisting on Ikjun to confess his feelings towards her even though he is already trying not to put Songhwa in an awkward spot. Although his character did end up making a cool exit and when I thought about his incredible story of soldier to doctor, I kinda regret disliking him that much. As for IkSong, In the final episode Ikjun confesses to her one last time, and we are left waiting for Songhwa’s reply. As much as I love this pairing, I don’t think that the ship will sail or maybe not as quickly as we think. I believe Songhwa would meticulously consider the sacrifices to their friendship or other aspects and might not be able to bring herself to it, but I hope it’s otherwise.

Lastly not forgetting Seokhyeong and Minha, another Professor+resident pairing. This one’s a bit ambiguous though, mainly because there hasn’t been much romantic development. To me, the most impactful scene came from Minha who had been irritated by continuous night shifts and was on the verge of a breakdown. She ended up remarkably saving a patient, starting off surgery on her own for the first time. Oh man Minha was such a lovable character, I remember feeling so bad for her but extremely proud of her for her accomplishment. Although Seokhyeong seemed a bit aloof and distant (which was intentional bc he’s an introvert) I think the backstory and all the hardships he faced with his family really made me feel for him. I hate to break it to you, but I’m not so sure if the ship will sail because of the phone call from his ex-wife and Minha’s somewhat rejected confession. But who knows, they might pull off a twist 👀

Apart from all these characters, there are more characters HHAHAH However, I think this is the killing point of ShinLee dramas. Unlike typical dramas which usually focuses on a main character and 2-3 side characters, they like to cast a diverse range of actors (especially those from theatre/musicals and lesser known drama/movie actors) while actually give their characters personality or a reason to be there. I’ve seen many dramas where extras or side characters were kind of irrelevant thus making me feel that they weren’t needed to build the storyline, yet ShinLee dramas hit different y’all. Every role, no matter how small, holds significance to the drama. It really seemed like a collaborative work that shows off every actors skills (and not forgetting staffs) and teamwork.

Anyways because there are way too many characters and too many scenes for me to mention them all, I’ll just talk about some honourable mentions heheh

1. Sunbin and Seokmin confession scene (ahh so cute)

I kinda sensed that they liked each other at the start but I didn’t know Seokmin would ask her out on a date at the end. Even though it’s kinda awkward that they are dating and working with each other though (both are in the same department) but hey the confession was cute and awkward and just warm and fuzzy 🥰

2. MAMA ROSA IS THE QUEENN

I think we all (would) love Mama Rosa because she’s a real one ☝️ (probably the coolest mother ever) She’s feisty, hilarious and kind to others. Plus her friendship with Ju Jong Su was just adorable and super wholesome. The scenes where they were supporting one another through tough times and hanging out with each other when they felt lonely always put a smile on my face. Oh and how Mama Rosa treated Gyeoul was extremely sweet. (as well as Seokhyeong’s mother) Despite her tough exterior, she’s a likeable character for being a strong but caring woman.

3. Just Do Jae Hak

I seriously love this guy so muchhh omg he’s so funny

Do Jae Hak has a funny amd clumsy personality, though it’s clear he’s been through a lot and is strong willed person. From admitting his indecisiveness to counselling Jun Wan on his love issues, there’s literally nothing to hate about him.

4. Uju and his dadd

The father and son chemistry between these two is so good omg. The scenes with these two are so adorable and heartwarming (not to mention hilarious) It’s amazing to see how Ikjun cares so much for Uju despite his hectic workdays while going through infidelity issues with his ex-wife. Uju is matured for his age and shows his love and appreciation for his dad too, making their interaction a great portrayal of a healthy family relationship💞

5. the food stealing the show🥘

Who doesn’t love food and when a show has great food scenes? Some of the best scenes are definitely when the 99s gather to eat. It really showcases each character’s personality with the tiniest details as well as highlight warm delicious meals. Just don’t watch this when you’re hungry at 2am in the morning guys you’ll be drooling all over your screens HAHAHA

Of course there are way more aspects, like Hongdo and Yoonbok, Ikjun and Iksun’s pigeon jokes and raps, or Jeongwon drunk crying in the chicken shop with his brother (who was his coach in Reply 1994 when he played Chilbong LOL)

Most importantly, I think it is the themes and messages that you get from the drama that really create such a lasting impression. Not only does it hit you in the feels with the hardships of hospital patients, or the hardworking doctors+nurses who are working long shifts saving lives, it also tackles topics of friendships through the possibilities of platonic and friends-to-lovers relationships. However I think the biggest lesson for me came from Seokhyeong, who learns to live his life doing what he want, with the people he treasures. Although the drama might seem slow at times (mainly because there isn’t really a main plot line/conflict occurring), but this drama would still bring you on a journey where you would laugh, cry and finish the series, begging for season 2 ✌🏻

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levis-hazelnut · 3 years

Text

Summary: when you and your best friend, Hanji, were younger, you had made up stories about your dream guys - what they would look like and how you would meet. What happens when the one you had made up appears to be real?

Warning(s): I don’t think there are any in this chapter. But, please do tell me if there are any.

Taglist (closed!): @castellandiangelo @fandom-addict19 @20coldhearts

Status: completed!

part 7 > part 8 > part 9

series masterlist

Me and Levi sat at the dining table at breakfast, consuming the waffles that I made with different fruits and sauces on top. "You can go home today," I spoke after swallowing the last of the sweet food. "Hanji will be back later. And I'm going out with Petra and Historia in about an hour, so you can go earlier." "Okay." "Why do you sound so sad? Are you going to miss me?" "Tch." He rolled his eyes before taking a sip of his tea. "You wish, darlin'. The only thing I'm going to miss is annoying you."

"You still somehow annoy me every day even if you're not here. I'm glad you're going." "Mhm. You can keep on lying to yourself." I scoffed. "You think I enjoy your presence?" "Of course. Why wouldn't you?" "Because you're an ass. And a jerk. And a prick. And--" I cut myself off when his eyes narrowed at me, an intimidating glare heading my way. "Why did you stop?" "... No reason. Just thought that words can't describe how annoying you are," I muttered, and he lifted an eyebrow, not believing me. "Fine. I stopped because you're none of those things, and I do enjoy your company." "Thank you. That wasn’t so hard to say, was it?” "Whatever. I'm going to have a shower, get ready and leave," I announced as I got up, taking both of our dishes into the kitchen. "Are you just going to go home?" "Yeah, probably." "Did you tell Isabel and Farlan that you were going to stay here, or did you leave them to worry?" "I told them because if I didn't, they would irritate the hell out of me. I already know they're going to be loud and all over me once I go back." I smiled, knowing how much those two love Levi. Well, who doesn't love Levi? "You're literally a celebrity everywhere you go." "So are you." "No, I'm not. I don't have people fangirling over me or people so happy when I'm around." "I don't know why you're denying it as if it's a bad thing. Just take a compliment because you're not going to get another one." "Aw, thank you," I grinned, wanting to hug him again when he came into the kitchen, but I knew he would push me away this time. He playfully rolled his eyes as I dried my hands before leaving to go to my bedroom, choosing clothes out of my cupboard. I then went to grab a towel and jumped into the bathroom for a quick shower. I slipped on a white, loose, full-sleeved shirt that hung below my shoulders, along with light blue, ripped jeans. Once I was out of the bathroom, it didn't sound like Levi was in the kitchen or living room. I approached my room, knocking softly on the door before hearing him call 'come in'. I stepped inside with a smile as he sat on the edge of my bed, glancing up at me before looking back down at his phone. I strolled over to my jewellery box, picking a simple, silver, chain necklace without a pendant. "Ackerman, are you going to leave the same time as me or after?" "I'll leave at the same time. I'm guessing you'll be ready in about five minutes?" "Yep," I replied with a nod. "... Hey, thank you for helping me and keeping me safe by staying with me," I murmured. "You're welcome, darlin'. Now, go finish getting ready." I grabbed my things, including a cardigan in case it got cold. I told Levi I was ready to leave and he got up, following me to the front door where we both slipped our shoes on. I locked the door once we were out and we made our way down the stairs. "Where are you going?" Levi asked. "I'm not sure. We didn't plan anything, we decided to just go wherever we felt like," I said with a shrug. "What, do you want to come as well?" He snorted and smiled slightly. "No. Anyway, which direction are you going in?" "Opposite to yours. So, I'll see you on Tuesday since we don't have lectures tomorrow." "Yeah, okay. Bye, darlin'. Stay safe." "Same goes to you," I beamed before we parted ways and I made my way to the meeting point me, Petra and Historia decided on. Once I got there, I found Historia as we both waited for Petra. Once the strawberry-blonde arrived, we started on our journey to nowhere in particular. During the day, we decided to go to an arcade since that was the cheapest thing I could afford. We then went to get gourmet burgers, not the cheapest thing I could afford, however, we were all in the mood for that. Once we were done, Historia stated that she had to get back home, leaving me and Petra alone. Since neither of us felt like going back home yet, we decided to stroll in the park as if we were some old couple. It was considerably quiet, the only sound being the birds tweeting away and the families deciding to head home since it was getting late for the kids. "... I know you like Levi. Romantically," Petra randomly spoke up as we sat on a bench in the park. My head snapped to face her and I immediately furrowed my brows, wordlessly requesting for an explanation for where she got that from. "And I think... he likes you, too." My frown deepened - Levi could never like me. He chose Petra, they've been dating for two months now. Yes, it's not that long, but they're happy together. And I wouldn’t want to take that away from them. "What are you talking about?" I asked. "I know what you're like around boys you like, (Y/N). I know there was a time, maybe for about a month, when you liked Lucius at the start of uni. You're more teasy with boys you like, you love annoying them, there's always a smile on your face even if you try to be irritated. That's how you act around Levi. You probably liked him before me, but helped me, nevertheless. And I want to thank you for that, he's a great person, but... I think you deserve him more than me. I don't dislike either of you since both of you are very lovable people and it's hard not to fall for each other. So... I'm going to break up with Levi." "No, don't...! Petra, please, don't. You obviously like him a lot, and I'm sure he feels the same way... I'll admit that I like him, but I don't want to ruin your relationship because of that. You're always happy with him, you are the one that deserves him, not me. You shouldn't let go of him for my sake. I doubt he likes me. How could he date someone like you - a smart, beautiful, kind and gentle person, and then decide to fall for me - an idiot, who can't grow up?" "Don't worry about me. I'll be much happier to see you happy. And, you let go of him for me. And don't bring yourself down like that; you're an amazing person and friend, and I'm sure Levi will be delighted to be with you. Go for it, (Y/N), I'm not going to let you live like this. It must be so painful for you." "... I can't do that. He's yours, I shouldn't take him away from you just because I'm selfish--" "You aren't being selfish, you're giving him up for me - that is not a selfish act. Eren or Hanji probably know, so I'm sure if I call one of them, you'll get shouted at for refusing to listen to me." "Okay, okay. Don't call them... But I don't want you to break up either. I'm going to feel terrible dating him." "There's no need for you to feel terrible. I'm the one that's causing it. And I feel like he’s trying to come up with a way to break up with me." “I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you apologising? It’s not like you made him fall for you. And I don’t blame him.”

“Thank you so much, Petra. You're honestly so awesome, I don't know how Levi was lucky enough to date you." "I know you'd do the same for me, and you basically did, which shows that Levi will also be lucky to be with you," she smiled in return. I couldn't stop grinning and I abruptly pulled her into an embrace, thanking her a million times over. This was it, I'm going to get what I've wanted for a long time - a relationship with Levi. ~/~ As soon as I heard the front door open and close with a click, I sprinted from my room to the entrance, finding Hanji standing there, taking her shoes off. "HANJI!! HANJI! HANJI!!" I squealed with a massive grin on my lips, clinging onto her arm and shaking her with excitement. "What's going on?" she inquired with the cock of her brow, thinking why I was behaving like her. "I THINK LEVI LIKES ME!" "..." It took her a moment to register my words before her eyes widened, her mouth agape and she gripped my arms, shaking me as well. "OH MY GOD! How do you know?! Did he break up with Petra?! Did he confess to you?! (Y/N)!!!! TELL ME MORE!" "Gosh, I don't think I've ever been this happy before!" I grinned, dragging her into the living room so we could sit down and fangirl together. I explained every little thing that Petra and I spoke about earlier, and her grin seemed to get wider and wider with every sentence I said. "However, I don't want them to break up because of me. I know I said it all this time, but now that it's truly happening, I don't want them to." "I swear, if you give up this opportunity, I'm going to slap you so hard that there will be an imprint of my hand on your cheek for the rest of your life." I laughed softly. "I don't know. I'm so happy. But I'm going to feel bad." "Petra herself said she's not going to hate either of you and she'll be fine with it. (Y/N), don't be an idiot again." "Okay, okay, fine..." I muttered before suddenly screaming. "I'M GOING TO DATE LEVI ACKERMAN!" "I know, I know!!! Why am I getting so excited?! Ahh, we made him up and you're actually going to date him!!" "Oh my gosh, I'm seriously going to faint." I took a deep breath and fanned myself, feeling hot and sweaty from all the squealing. "Did Petra say when she's going to break up with him?" "No. But I think she's going to do it by the end of next week... Wait! I'm not ready for this! I need to mentally prepare myself for this! This is so exciting! Wait... are we ever going to tell Levi about how we made him up?" "Uhh, he'll probably get creeped out and break up with you if we do, so no, we are not." "Okay. I need to calm down now." "Did he tell Petra that he was staying over?" "I'm not sure. Whenever I mentioned Petra, he didn't say anything. Ugh, how did I not realise anything? He was acting differently. He was so soft and considerate and-- Okay, (Y/N), calm down," I told myself before I explode. "You're literally in love." "No, I'm not. I just really like him." Hanji smirked and shook her head before getting up. "Anyway, I've got uni tomorrow so I need to sleep. You can fangirl or do whatever you want, just don't wake me up." "Yeah, yeah... Wait, I don't know how to act around him anymore. I need Petra to tell me when she breaks up with him so I know what to do. Okay, night, Hanji, you don't need to listen to my rambling." She smiled at me before going towards her bedroom, closing the door behind her as I laid down on the sofa, face-down, letting out whatever I needed to (squeals) before sitting up again. I took my phone from the coffee table and saw that I got texts from my mother and Eren. So I checked the messages in that order. I checked my mother’s message, which just some forwarded message about whatever her friends tell her. I mentally rolled my eyes at this before going to Eren. 'Hey' 'Are you okay?' 'Did Levi keep you safe?' Once again, I rolled my eyes, but this time, for real because Eren's so overprotective. 'Hi' 'I'm fine. You don't need to worry because Levi did keep me safe' I locked my phone, dropping it onto the furniture as I stared at the black screen of the TV, wondering what to do now. My mind is clouded with Levi so I won't be able to concentrate on anything I do. I'm not tired either, so what should I do? Okay, scratch that... I'm tired as hell, but I won't be able to sleep with all the excitement coursing through my body. Well, looks I'll just be sleep-deprived tomorrow because I'm seriously not going to be able to sleep. ~/~ So, luckily, I fell asleep on the sofa, during a movie and had a good night's sleep. When I woke up, light poured in through the windows and beamed on my face as I heard birds singing near the apartment. I opened my eyes and squinted, looking around the room as a yawn left my mouth. I sat up, checking the time to see it was almost twelve o'clock. I stood up before stretching as I walked to the bathroom, looking at my reflection to find my hair attempting to get tangled. I sighed, running my hand through my tresses to make it look neater before freshening up. Not being bothered to make a nice breakfast, I just got myself some cereal (I would happily eat cereal for each meal of the day) and sat on the sofa, going through social media. I then decided to clean the apartment, excluding Hanji's room because I know how annoying it can be when someone else moves your stuff. For motivation, I loudly played music on my Bluetooth speaker, which is why I couldn't hear when Hanji came home, frightening me when she tapped my shoulder as I broomed. I lowered the volume and smiled at her. "Hey. How was uni?" "Fine. Nothing special happened. What did you do all day?" "Well, I got up at twelve, had breakfast and then decided to clean." "Are you trying to prove that you'll be a great wife for Levi?" she smirked and I rolled my eyes. "I was thinking that we barely have time to clean, so might as well do it today since I was free. I just have the kitchen left to do and then I'm going to take a nice, long bath." "It's so nice to see you in such a good mood," Hanji smiled and I returned it with a wider one. "I wonder what you're going to be like once you finally start dating Levi." ~/~ So, I found out that Petra broke up with Levi today after university ended... What am I doing? I'm freaking out. What do I do? Do I ask Levi out? Or will he ask me out? Is he sad about the breakup, or happy? What if it's just like my other relationships that never last more than half a year? Am I making a mistake? Would it be better to stay friends? I've wanted this since forever, why should I give it up? They already broke up, what's the point in contemplating everything now? Ugh, what do I do? Is Levi not going to talk to me? Was Petra even sure that he likes me? Did Petra tell him about our conversation on Sunday? Does she hate me now? Should I get Hanji's help? But, she's in her room, why should I disturb her? Should I call Eren and tell him everything? What do I do with my life? I inhaled, then exhaled deeply, attempting to soothe myself. Everything will be fine if I don't freak out. I just need to stay calm and wish for the best.

Things are going to be weird at uni unless one of us ask the other out. I don't want to be that person. But what if he's thinking the same? Is he going to wait a while before dating again? Well, I'm going to stick to my previous plan and just wish for the best. There's no gain in freaking out and asking myself all these questions that just make me worse. Maybe Petra will tell me what happened. But I shouldn't just stare at my phone expectantly because that's not going to help me in any way-- My phone started to vibrate in my hand, my eyes widened and I flinched, hastily reading the caller ID. Fuck you, Eren... Getting my hopes up like that, making me think it was Petra. Despite being mildly annoyed at the male, I answered the phone, saying a shrill 'hello'. "Hi, (Y/N)." "Hey. Do you need anything?" "I heard some girls from your uni say that Petra Ral and Levi Ackerman broke up, and now they think it's their chance to take him. Do you know if they actually broke up?" "Yeah, they did." "What? Really? Why?" "... Because of me..." I muttered, guilt slithering into my body. "I didn't do anything, don't worry. Petra did it for me because she knew I did the same for her. She claimed that she knows I like Levi and she said that she thinks Levi likes me too. She said we deserve each other and said that she will break up with him so I can be happy. I didn't want her to, but she still did." "Petra's actually such a sweetheart." I laughed softly, not expecting Eren to say something like that about someone. "Yeah, she is. But I don't know what to do now. Should I initiate something, or will Levi? I need Petra to call me--" My phone vibrated and I saw that my call with Eren was put on hold because someone else was calling me. Petra! I cut the phone with Eren, deciding to talk to him later because right now, this call was more important. Sorry, Eren, you know I love you, I thought before answering the call. "Hi, Petra." "Hi... Um, I broke up with Levi a couple of hours ago." "How did he take it? Is he okay? Are you okay?" "Yeah, we're both fine. I told him the same things I said to you and he seemed pleased. He apologised to me for not breaking things off earlier, saying that he didn't want to hurt me. Everything's fine, though. I'm happy for both of you, so go get him." "Ah, thank you so much, Petra! I still feel so bad about this, though." "Don't. You have nothing to feel guilty about, I did this on my own volition." "I need to repay you with something massive. You're amazing, I love you." I heard her giggle. "(Y/N), honestly, it's nothing, you don't need to do anything for me. The only thing you need to do is not let this chance slip before some other woman takes him." "Okay, okay. Thank you so much! By the way, did he say what he's going to do now?" "No. Let me just tell you everything that happened," she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice, probably because of how happy I sounded. *FLASHBACK* Petra had asked Levi to meet her outside of the university after his last lecture because she stated that she had to talk to him about something. Levi had told me that he had to go somewhere so I just headed home. Once Levi and Petra met up, they strolled around the quiet streets as the raven waited for the petite female to speak up. "What did you want to talk about?" Levi asked, glancing at his girlfriend, who abruptly stopped walking, causing him to come to a halt as well. "... Levi," she started, looking up into his grey hues that flickered with concern. "You like (Y/N), don't you?" "What?" A small wrinkle formed in between his eyebrows. "You don't need to deny it," she smiled, staring at the pavement under their shoes. "I'm not annoyed, don't worry." "Wait. How do you even know? I've never spoken about it with anyone." "I don't know, I just had a gut feeling, I guess," she said with a shrug. "And... (Y/N) likes you, too. I spoke to her about all of this, and I decided that... I'm going to break us up. Since both of you like each other, you shouldn't let me stop you two from dating. And if you're wondering, (Y/N) wasn't the one who asked me to do this, I made this choice myself. I'm not going to hate either of you because I want to see both of you happy." "Petra... I'm sorry for doing this to you. I'm sorry I didn't speak to you about it earlier but I didn't want to hurt you... You're a great girl and I did like you. And you’re actually my first girlfriend. But as I spent time with (Y/N), no matter how much of an idiot she is, I guess I fell for her without realising." "You don't need to apologise about anything, I'm fine. You can't control your feelings," Petra finally made eye contact, a smile still staining her lips. "Anyway, I guess I'll go now." She was about to walk away but slender fingers caught her wrist. She turned her head to look at the male who had a tiny smile as he neared her and pressed his lips against her cheek. "Thank you, Petra. I hope you find a better guy than me." "Thank you. Now, go to (Y/N)." *END OF FLASHBACK* "I'm getting so excited, but I don't want to because--" “Be as excited as you want to be, don't let me or guilt stop you. Also, I don't think Levi's going to ask you out straight away, he might wait a couple of days."

I’m going to date Levi Ackerman in just a couple of days?

This doesn’t feel real. ~/~ It was the last lecture of the day, and I was falling asleep, however, I had Jean next to me so he kept me awake. I let out a content sigh and stretched when I stood up once the lecture ended. "I'm so glad this day is over. Tomorrow's Friday, right?" "Yeah." "Good. Just one more day until the weekend." Jean smiled and shook his head as both of us made our way out of the lecture hall. As we walked towards the exit of the building and spoke, a hand grasped my wrist, causing both of us to stop and turn around. My heart started to beat rapidly when I met those beautiful, grey orbs that I could always stare into. I'm going to tell the truth and say that I may or may not have been avoiding Levi for the past two weeks (definitely been more than a couple of days) because I was afraid of getting into another relationship that I think will fail. He's been trying to talk to me all this time, but I somehow evade him because I also think I'm going to be awkward around him. Hanji, once again, threatened to slap me since I'm letting this chance go. However, she spoke some sense into me, saying how Jean and I were close friends, so we're both idiots for deciding to date. And she pointed out that Reiner was a dickhead, so I was the idiot.

And Levi has proved to be nothing like a jerk, more of a gentleman so I should just go marry him. She still didn't get involved, sticking by her promise and I'm actually pretty proud of her for that. Also, her little pep talk gave me confidence so I, in some way, love Hanji more than I already did. Now, here I am, with Levi's hand gripping my wrist as we both just stared at each other, and Jean looking between us, seeming confused. "... You've been avoiding me for two fucking weeks," Levi finally spoke, and I just realised how much I missed his voice (although, right now, it's dangerously low and scary). "We're talking right now, I don't give a shit if you have something to do." "... Okay," I replied, glancing at Jean who had worry etched onto his face. "You can go, Jean. I'll see you tomorrow." He was too terrified to speak in front of Levi right now, so he arched his eyebrow, making sure that I'll be fine. I nodded with a small smile and he left with a smile of his own before I found myself being dragged through the corridors to find an empty room. Once Levi found one, he tugged me into it, closing the door behind us. He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at me as I stood opposite him, not wanting to make eye contact.

#levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #aot #aot fanfiction #aot imagines #snk #snk fanfiction #snk imagines #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #x reader #reader insert #anime #dream guy #series #modern au #sorry for the cliffhanger lmfao #queue ⏰

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starkovsnesta · 3 years

Text

It's like the fire (replaced all the love)

Summary: "When they crumble, they're not facing each other. Both of them have their gaze set ahead. The hands they have placed on the couch are mere centimeters away, not touching. There's silence in the room. None of them talks for a long time. Even in these circumstances, stubbornness and pride triumphs over their hearts. And maybe the way they break apart should be an indication on how they weren't really meant to be together, Nesta thinks."

Relationship: Nesta Archeron/Cassian

Tags: Angst, Break Up, Healing

Chapter 1 - such a burden, this flame on my chest

read on ao3

When they crumble, they're not facing each other. Both of them have their gaze set ahead. The hands they have placed on the couch are mere centimeters away, not touching. There's silence in the room. None of them talks for a long time. Even in these circumstances, stubbornness and pride triumphs over their hearts. And maybe the way they break apart should be an indication on how they weren't really meant to be together, Nesta thinks.

She hears Cassian mumbling a curse and she feels his head turning towards her.

"You promised you'd stop drinking" he whispers.

And because Nesta always let's her rage talk in her place, she replies "and you promised you wouldn't hurt me".

It isn't really his fault she is hurt, she knows. He has done nothing wrong.

It all happened hours before. They were at some party. His friends were there, her sisters were there. Everybody seemed to be having a good time. But not Nesta. She had woken up without energy that morning. It was nothing new, but it pissed her off. She had gone to work, not talking to anyone. Cassian had sent some messages, he had even called. But she had ignored him. She wasn't mad at him, she just didn't want to talk to him. He would notice something was off, he would get worried and ask if something happened, not believing her when she said she felt that way with no reason. And how could she explain? So she let her phone ring. When she came home, he was there. His face was pale, and he was pacing on her porch. They had a fight. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that Cassian screamed at her, trying to calm down even as she kept ignoring him. They had just be quiet for a moment, and then decided to let it drop to go to a stupid party where Cassian's friends were waiting.

When they arrived at the club, Nesta just sat down on a table, not interested in having any kind of human interaction. She had come just for him, because she felt guilty about ignoring him and making him worry for the hundredth time. But he didn't sit next to her.

She had seen him dancing and talking to Morrigan, she had seen him laughing with her. The woman's hand placed on his knee like it belonged there. And maybe because she's always been jealous of the bright woman, maybe because she's always felt unworthy of Cassian's love, or maybe because she knows his friends would prefer seeing him with Mor, and they've never been very subtle about it, maybe because of all these reasons, she'd felt hurt. And she started drinking. She knows now it wasn't a smart thing to do, if not for the fact that she received judgemental glances from those around her, people who feel morally superior to her. Her sisters among them.

Cassian now let's out an exasperated sigh.

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you that there's nothing but friendship between me and Mor" he says. He tries to reach for her hand, but she pulls away.

She knows she's hurting him.

But she can't stop. She shifts her glacial eyes on him. "I don't believe you".

The way his eyes close for a brief second, as if to gather some control, make her rage burn.

When he opens them again, though, there's nothing but resignation. The same feeling that transpires when he murmurs "I love you, Nesta". Softly, as a caress. But it's received as a slap. It's not the first time he's said it. It's the first time she really doesn't know what to do with it. He loves her. But she's still hurt. She's still full of anger, she still has nightmares at night. She still thinks of alcohol and tries to drink herself to death almost every week, consciously or not. She still doesn't know how to love him back, because there isn't much place for love inside of her. There's only fire. She shouldn't have promised to stop drinking, because she knew she couldn't. She only did to make him quiet. She doesn't like when Cassian coddles her. Sometimes his way of caring for her makes her feel more of a broken doll than she already does.

She comes to a realization, then and there: his love is not the thing she wants the most right now.

That's why, after not managing to keep a tear from falling on her cheek, she replies "That's not enough".

And that's how they fall apart.

--------

They don't really see each other for months. Cassian tells himself that it is a good thing. He needs to move on. But he can't lie to himself too much.

Not when he drinks almost every night to avoid thinking about her. It's ironic, he reflects, how he reaches for the same destruction that he didn't want her to reach for. Alcohol is the only solution he knows to his problems. He doesn't talk to his friends about Nesta, and they don't ask questions. He's not sure if they're trying to give him space and time, or if they don't really care about the break up. They have always disliked Nesta, anyway. When they first started dating, his group of friends kept joking about it, like it was some sort of prank he was pulling on them.

When he said he loved her, Rhysand just burst out laughing, shaking his head in delight. Cassian had decided not to be mad about it. They were his family. He knew they loved him, they were just a little bit overprotective. And Feyre, Rhysand's girlfriend, has never had a good relationship with her eldest sister. Maybe she told him not very pleasant anecdotes about her. Rhysand doesn't like anyone that has ever hurt Feyre. He's protective of her.

Cassian had justified his behavior over and over.

They hadn't said anything when he had come to a party hand in hand with Nesta for the first time. She was worried his friends wouldn't like her. She had told him so before coming out of the bathroom, her eyes read and her cheeks wet. "You shouldn't let them see you with me, Cass". But he had hugged her and comforted her, sure that this was just a silly worry and that his friends would support him no matter what. That night, everybody had ignored Nesta. He hadn't missed the glance Mor had sent him, though. As if he had betrayed her. Nesta was too smart to miss it too.

And now, as things have fallen apart, he is asking himself over and over again: why the hell did he keep trying to unite the two parts? He wanted his friends and family to have second thoughts on Nesta. He wanted them to see her as he did. This spectacular, fierce, fucking complicated woman that had stolen his heart completely.

Rhys and Azriel always accompany him to clubs now. Standing by his side, trying to joke. He doesn't always listen. Although he pretends he does. He even fakes smiles sometimes. It's only when they suggest he should start seeing another woman that he decides to stop drinking with them. And with time, he even sees them less. It's only when they present themselves at his apartment, asking for an explanation, that he realizes how angry he is at them.

For never supporting him, for always criticizing Nesta, for being happy they are apart, for never helping her. And he is mad at himself too. Especially for the last part.

That's why he explodes in front of them, letting his mouth scream out all the pain he feels inside, while his mind stays unbearably quiet except for a single sentence that keeps being repeated as a chant:

Not enough. Not enough. Not enough.

---------

November 23

I don't know how to start this. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm writing to you at all. With how we left things, I guess you wouldn't want to ever hear from me again. And yet, here I am.

Maybe I'll never send this letter. Or maybe I will and pretend I didn't. That's funny, isn't it? I always face problems in that way. I do things and then ignore them until I forget, or better, until others forget about them. I hope against all hope, cause I know you won't forget the shit I did to you. I know you regret putting up with me. I know you regret knowing me. And loving me. How could you love me? I always ask myself that question, and I guess now I'm asking you too.

How could you fall in love for a wrecked thing like me?

Do you remember when we met the first time? I was drunk. Of course. I must have said something rude, I don't remember the details, but I recall how you picked a fight. Because you love to do that. And I remember thinking about you the next day. Like, not in a positive way actually. But I thought about you. Because I couldn't ignore you.

This is my way of saying that, from the beginning, you made place inside me (yes, I'm serving you a dirty joke on a silver plate, I know).

You're gone now. I mean, not like gone gone. I mean gone from my life, because you're not with me. And I guess, despite everything, I admit I miss it. I miss you. A lot. I'm not good with feelings, but I thought I was getting better while you were next to me. You make me feel safe. And that is what scares me the most, you know? I've never known a safety that would last. All the safe places in my life crumbled like castles of glass, and I guess they made so much noise inside of me that everytime I get near something similar again my first reaction is to cover my ears, not to listen. I run away from good things. You used to tell me that when we fought, do you remember? I think you do. You're right. I do. Because if I don't, the good things will capture me into their grip and I will be so caught up in the trap that I won't notice how it's suffocating me. I do want to be happy. It seems like I don't, but I really do. I just don't know how to be happy without being scared. And you terrify me. You really do. Because, and I think it's safe for me to say it now, you made me taste real happiness for the first time.

It's a pity I will never deserve you.

But you will be happy, you will find somebody else, I promise. I just hope you won't be too happy. It sounds selfish. I just mean I wish you won't be too happy to think about me, even if you hate me. I would prefer you'd keep hating me instead of not thinking of me at all. Don't forget me. Because I promise, I will never forget you.

Yours (in more ways than you know),

Nesta.

-----

November 30

Nesta,

I don't think I could ever forget you. You are like a drug I can't stop myself from taking, even though it hurts me. You hurt me. I won't pretend you didn't. I won't tell you sweet shit and give you my forgiveness or whatever. At least not yet. But I know I fucked up too. Maybe we are just wrong for each other.

Shit, the mere thought makes me cry. That's also because I'm a little drunk. I miss you like hell. I even miss our fights, although they were so fucked up. We are so fucked up. But I really hoped we could work out either way. I hoped we would overcome these obstacles with our love and other romantic shit like that. I know it's ridiculous now. I won't forget you, Nes. I wish I could. I wish I could say that I'll get over you soon, that I'll be better, that I won't think about you anymore. I can't. I won't. I don't really want to. It's pathetic but this pain I feel is the only connection I have to you now, and I don't want to lose that.

I love you. In my own fucked up way. And I know you loved me too. You're not good at saying it, or showing it. But I know you did. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself.

Anyways, I hope you'll find a way to happiness one day. I'll be there when you do.

Yours (but you already know it),

Cassian.

#cassian #nessian #acotar #nesta and cassian #nesta archeron #nessian fanfiction #nessian fic #nessian angst #angst #multichapter #it's like the fire replaced all the love chapter 1 #it's like the fire (replaced all the love)

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simpsiren · 3 years

Text

dong sicheng x reader, ft, taeyong

“Your brain works like a computer, like clockwork. Yet you just can’t think straight because you’re thinking of her, right?”

description. I watched in pain as my best friend whom I liked for ages become delusional of my feelings and fall in love with another girl. I never told my feelings for him, and I never will. Little did I know that he felt the same as well. The feelings that took him so long to realise, now with hope that it wouldn’t be too late.

genre. aNgsT, fluff, friends au, unrequited love au

warnings. sad but also not a sad ending. depends how you look at it cudndjdn

word count. 9.2k~

a/n. do yall ever feel emo and suddenly want to write a sad ff? yes this is one of those times. i actually never wrote a ff where it was eXtrEmElY sad but oh wells let’s put you on an emotional roller coaster ride while you read this HAHA enjoy!

Dong Sicheng. Winwin as his nickname and what everyone, teachers and students, call him by. He’s smart, kind, sweet, and appearance wise you can never say no to that beautiful face. He’s an all rounder perfect student that everyone adores and admires. He’s extremely friendly, being able to socialise with everyone in the hallways right off the bat. I can confirm in my three years of high school that no one has never disliked him before.

The only thing that everyone dislike though is the fact that I’m his best friend. The only one that calls him by his real name, the one that can get close to him in terms of physical touch, and just have him by my side almost all the time. I received hate for being his best friend since they think he deserves better. But at this point, I really couldn’t care less, opting to stay quiet and accept the harsh words thrown at me with zero care for the world.

Since those insults are given to me when I’m away from Winwin, I never told him about what happens outside of his sight since I didn’t want him to be concerned for me and have him worry over a small matter. Things like this in high school are what I consider childish, which is why I try my best to ignore it as much as possible.

“Here. Another box of cookies and perfume. Also, a ton of love letters.” I said lazily, tossing the bag of gifts to Winwin’s lap and taking the seat beside him with a groan. I hated it when girls asked me to pass their gifts to Winwin because they’re too shy to do it themselves. It’s not like I’m some delivery girl in charge of taking care of their gifts. But I got used to it. Not sure if that’s exactly a good thing or not.

“You can have the cookies.” Winwin took out the box of cookies and handed it over to me. I took it and scoffed in amusement. “The price for the ingredients to make regular cookies is way more cheaper than buying it from wherever she got this.” I inspected the box and the cookies inside, noticing how expensive it looked with the decorations.

Regardless, I opened the box and picked up a cookie to take a bite. “Okay well it tastes good.” I said in defeat. Winwin wasted no time to grab a cookie and try it, instantly humming dreamily. “Oh wow it’s actual good.” Winwin moaned out as he finishes the cookie in his mouth.

“Being the school’s most adored student couldn’t get any more better, huh?” I reached into the bag of gifts and took out a random letter, twirling it around in my hand as I observed the aesthetics of it.

Winwin huffed, leaning back into the seat. “It’s tiring. I’m only down for the free food. And perfumes.” Winwin takes out the perfume, which I could already tell from its packaging that it was an expensive one. He unboxes it and squirts once to smell the fragrance in the air. He shrugged and shook his head. “Expected better. I’ll just sell this.”

I chuckled at his reaction, sniffing the scent that was in the air and nodding in agreement. “By the way...” Winwin suddenly started. I noticed his change in behaviour. He’s acting all shy and somewhat embarrassed, looking down and fidgeting with his fingers and feet. I raised at eyebrow at his unexpected mood change.

“You know the new student that got transferred four months ago?” I clicked my tongue and nodded. “Haeun, right? What about her?” I asked, though I wasn’t fully concentrated on the conversation because I couldn’t stop shoving the cookies into my mouth and admiring it’s savoury taste.

“Would it be weird to say I like her?”

I froze in my spot, a cookie halfway into my mouth as I tilted my head up from the cookies to look at Winwin. Though he was looking down to his feet, I could tell he was smiling to himself like an idiot and blushing intensively.

I knew where this was going. And I didn’t like it. It hurts my heart, like a needle constantly jabbing into my heart as the question that Winwin asked resonates in my head. Not receiving a reply, Winwin called out to me, making me shake my head and blinking my eyes rapidly to snap myself out of my thoughts.

“Um well, how’s she like?” I asked hesitantly. Why was I dumb enough to ask this? I’ll only be hurting myself more with the answer Winwin was about to give.

“She’s a badass. She’s strong, and she knows how to stand up to the students that bully her. I admire her a lot because she’s fearless. The way she can even fight back to the teacher and actually having valid arguments. She’s not like anyone else here.”

Of course she isn’t. She not at all like me either. I took a deep breath, knowing I’ve done a great job at stabbing myself in the back as I lump filled my throat, once again unable to give a single reaction of sentence. “You okay? You seem worked up suddenly.” Winwin suddenly got closer and I quickly inched back.

I felt my body getting tensed up as my face gave a blank expression. I wasn’t sure what to feel. Anger, sadness, heart fluttering due to Winwin’s small action of getting close to my face. Maybe all three.

“You do remember what happened the other times you have liked a girl, right? You know they didn’t end well. I don’t see why you’re still trying.”

That, was the only excuse I could come up with to have Winwin not having any interest in other girls. Before high school, he’s liked plenty of girls. But they’ve all rejected him, causing him to come to me for comfort. It hurt my heart, seeing that I’m the one that has to watch him go through a heartbreak and being the hopeless romantic he was. It also pained me in a way that I couldn’t describe.

If only you were mine, you wouldn’t have gone through any of that.

“What if someone else liked you? What would you do?” Winwin tilted his head upwards with a finger on his chin for a moment as he stopped to think. He had an unreadable expression on his face, only making me wonder what he would reply.

“Depends on who.” Winwin simply replied.

“What if that someone is really close to you?” His forehead creased with raised brows, probably either curious as to why I’m asking such questions or trying to figure out where this conversation is heading.

“The only ones I’m close to are you and Yuta.” A few seconds later, Winwin gaped his mouth open and covered it with the palm of his hand, letting out a shocking gasp. “Is Yuta gay?!” Winwin burst out laughing crazily, smacking his thigh as he had a hand on his stomach.

I could only sit there with an unamused face. I glanced sideways and forced a smile. A simpered smile that would best hide what I truly felt. I rose from my seat with the box of cookies in hand. “I meant the other person, Dong Sicheng.” I looked straight into his eyes with a face of seriousness. Though I doubt Winwin understood what I meant by that.

Not being able to handle this any longer, I walked away, despite Winwin calling out my name multiple times. I walked till I hid behind a wall where it was out of Winwim’s sight, beginning to slide my back down the wall till I hit the ground, my eyes starting to get flooded with tears till they finally stream down my face. I brought my knees close to my chest with the box of cookis in between and hiding my face with my arms.

How long do I have to keep this up? How long do I have to wait till Winwin realises my feelings for him? All this time while he went through constant heartbreaks, I was the only one there for him. Me. I had to watch him cry days on end all because of a girl who doesn’t even mean much.

And now I have to watch him go through it again. But I can’t stop him. It’s his feelings. Despite my constant share of concerns for him, he never seemed to stop being the stupid one in love. Dong Sicheng was, and always will be, a hopeless romantic.

But in a way, I was as well. Not being able to let go of my feelings for him that has kept me tied down for so long. I liked him for years and I knew my love was more than what the girls he liked before could offer. If only he could just see that. But waiting for that moment slowly began to get tiring.

I wondered where Winwin has gone to as I laid on the living room couch with my phone held in the air showing Winwin’s contact on the screen. I contemplated on whether I should call him or not.

There have been days where Winwin would come back to our apartment late, but it’s either because he had family events (which happens quite often in Winwin’s case) or just an outing with Yuta. But I would have known the reason either way since he’d always update me whenever he went. It felt out of place to not know where he was and it made me a little worried.

As I was about to press on the call button, I heard the front door open. Lifting my head from the couch, I turned around and saw Winwin taking off his shoes and walking in. “Where the heck have you been, you dork?!” I shouted, throwing a pillow from under my head.

He got hit by it, resulting him to frown and let out a wince due to his overreacting nature. “Chill I just went out of Haeun, alright?” Winwin picked up the pillow from the ground and tossed it back to me.

I didn’t even bother asking why he went out with her. I didn’t want to hear about it either, knowing that my emotional feelings for him that I’ve tried to hide for so long will start to flare up. Regardless, Winwin ran over to me and pushed my legs off fhe couch to give him space to sit. I groaned at his act and sat up straight.

“Today was so fun! I went to the amusement park with Haeun and holy shit was she good at winning games but I wasn’t able to win any for her and I felt bad so we...”

As Winwin rambled on about his amazingly perfect night out with Haeun, I spaced out and could only think about what I have to deal with once Haeun leaves Winwin again. Though now I’m starting to doubt that because well, who wouldn’t want Winwin? He had a major glow up from elementary school to high school anyways.

But now my mind has wondered off to the possibility that I might actually lose Winwin once he gets together with her. And how the feelings that I’ve kept solely for him would go to waste and my times of waiting on him would mean nothing.

“Good that you had fun. I’ll go to bed now.” I said in monotoned manner when Winwin finally stopped talking.

“Oh um okay... goodnight. Sleep tight. Dream of me, alright?” He probably noticed my sudden change in attitude but didn’t bother asking, and instead tried to lighten the mood with a little joke.

“I always dream of you.” I mumbled under my breath as I walked away and entered my room.

Little did I know, my soft mumble wasn’t as soft as it seemed.

“Why did she sound serious when she said that?” Winwin asked himself as he sat there in silence. He started to think about her weird behaviour these days. Especially whenever he brought up about Haeun. Was there something wrong with talking about Haeun? Why did she look like all the energy was drained out of her whenever he spoke Haeun’s name?

Winwin’s deep thoughts got cut off when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He took it out to see a notification from Haeun asking if they should go out more often. He didn’t bother to reply as his mind was only filled with his best friend, deeply concerned but also anxious.

“What am I feeling right now?”

Yuta and I decided to eat lunch together since Winwin’s chemistry teacher held his class back for a reason that he never specified.

Our conversation was going well till somehow our topic swerved into talking about Winwin.

“I heard Winwin’s going out with Haeun more often, and ditching you too.” Yuta suddenly mentioned, taking a sip of his lemon tea.

I suspired and nodded my head. “Yeah well, I’m not too happy about that.” I swirled my straw in my drink, getting mesmerised at the sight. “Of course you don’t. You like him.”

My eyes immediately shot up to Yuta’s, narrowing my eyes in an intimidating manner as I whispered, “Don’t mention it, please. It already hurts enough that it’s a fact.” I said, my eyes softening right after as I frowned.

“You still aren’t giving me a proper answer as to why you can’t tell him.” Yuta bobbed his shoulders, adjusting his blazer. “I told you time and time again.”

I groaned, covering my eyes with a hand. “He’s my best friend. You know how weird it’ll be if we have feelings for each other. Secondly, even if he does like me back, how will things turn out between us if we argue or something? It’s worse for you because you’re friends with the both of us.” I explained, making random hand gestures like you would do in a presentation.

“But still. It’s important to be friends before lovers. Better yet best friends to lovers. You’re basically saying that a male and female can’t be friends without one of them falling in love. Well. I mean you fell in love but-”

“But what, huh?”

Yuta let out a deep sigh before leaning in, resting his chin on his hands with his fingers interlocked together. “But that doesn’t explain you and me. We’re friends but we’ve never fell in love.” Yuta gave a cheeky smile. I growled and smacked his forehead, hard. “What it’s the truth! Anyways, if you aren’t going to anything about Sicheng, I will.”

As soon as he said those words, I wasted no time to loom over the table to grab him by the collar. “Do anything, and you’ll get brutally killed.”

Yuta simpered, knowing he fucked up as he laughed in fear. “W-with what?” Yuta asked hesitantly. I slowly picked up the fork from my tray and raising it beside my head.

“This fork.” This time, Yuta laughed hysterically, removing my hand away from his collar and throwing me back down to me seat. I let out a huff, slamming the fork back on the plate. “Which body part do you want to hit with a fork, sweetie?” Yuta teased.

I threw him a sharp glare with a line appearing between my brows. “I’ll carve out your eyeballs first so you’ll never see the light of day.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head, finding Yuta shaking in fear as he waved his hands in the air in defense. “Okay, okay. I’ll shut up. Jeez...”

“I just want him to realise my feelings himself. Have you seen what he’s gone through? I have to deal with his stupid feelings while I have to bear the fact that he won’t see me as anything more than a best friend. His delusional ass that I can’t stop falling for...” I continued.

“I’m more stupid in this situation than him if we’re going to be honest.”

Later that day, Yuta and I invited Winwin to go out and have dinner. We were waiting in front of the restaurant only to be greeted with Winwin and a somewhat unwanted guest.

“Oh! Haha it’s Haeun...” Yuta waved a hand to her. She greeted him back with a gentle smile that could possibly mesmerised anyone if she wanted to. Yuta took a quick glance at me. I was pretty sure we were both thinking the same thing. About how I’m not liking the fact that she’s here with Winwin. He brought his hand to my back and rubbed it gently as a sign of comfort.

Don’t get me wrong. I hold no hatred or grudge towards her. It’s just that I didn’t want to see Winwin with another girl. Clearly, I was jealous. I was just too weary of Winwin’s feelings and mine to own up to it.

“Let’s go in then?” She asked excitedly, looking up to Winwin as she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. Winwin smiled back and patted her on the head. I was already not liking how physically close they were.

Little actions like patting the head, hugging, ruffling the hair. Those were all actions that only Winwin has ever done to me. He wouldn’t even be this close to the girls that he used to like. Seeing that he’s now becoming more open, it made me disappointed a lot more than it should due to the deep stupid meaning I hold of the little things he does.

Our conversations while we were eating were quite general. Most questions were about Haeun and getting to know her better. Well, more specifically it was Yuta since I’m pretty sure Winwin already knew a lot about her. As for me, I didn’t bother.

“You should try this. It’s delicious.” Haeun suddenly said, picking up a drumstick of the chicken that was just served to us and bringing it to Winwin’s mouth. Haeun placed a finger in Winwin’s chin to bring his head closer. With Winwin opening his mouth widely, Haeun feeds him with the most brightest smile.

“You’re so cute.” I heard Winwin whisper as he leaned down to Haeun’s ear. She giggled with glee and nudged him in the shoulder. It was obvious that she was liking it. Her blushing couldn’t get any more serious.

He hummed in satisfaction as he chewed on the chicken. “You should try it, too.” Winwin said, passing me a drumstick and putting it on my plate. I forced a smile, which turned out to me only giving a half-smile due to my effort of trying to hide my feelings slowly becoming drained.

Seeing how Yuta kept stealing glances at me, I could only assume that he knew what I was feeling when he suddenly said, “Actually it seems like she’s getting tired. I’ll see her off. You guys have fun.” Yuta swung an arm around my shoulder as the two of us stood up and grabbed our belongings before heading out and leaving the two to hang out by themselves.

“You didn’t have to do that...” I whispered, looking into my bag and checking if I left anything behind. Yuta shook his head and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I had to. It was hard to watch you die inside while they were being all lovey-dovey.” Yuta replied.

“Anyways, can you go home yourself?” I gaped my mouth and scoffed, glancing sideway before looking up to him with a raised brow. “You brought me out here but you can’t be a gentleman and send me home!?” I hissed.

“The food inside was actually good and I’m willing to finish whatever’s on my plate!” Yuta retorted with a cute pout as a way to persuade me to follow his way. With the unamused face I gave him, he huffed and ran a hand through his hair.

As though a lightbulb was suddenly lif above his head, he snapped his fingers and shouted, “Ahah!” making me flinch back at the sudden noise. “I’ll text Taeyong to drive you home on his motorbike.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, but shrugged in the end as I admitted it was a good idea. “Yeah sure. I find him cute.” I said plainly, which somehow earned me a weird look from Yuta.

“You called him cute?” Yuta asked in a way that told me that he was surprised. I nodded my head slowly, not sure about why he reacted that way but I was quick to figure it out. “Don’t be an idiot and assume I like him. Everyone finds him cute, okay? It’s like how fangirls call their idols cute all the time. It means nothing.” I said with a sigh.

Yuta’s surprised face slowly turned into a sinister one as his mouth formed a wide smirk. “Hey. Honestly speaking, if you can’t have Winwin, You should try Taeyong. He’s a good catch.” Yuta winked at me before looking down to this phone and texting Taeyong.

I smacked him in the arm, making him wince in pain but recovered in no time due to his endurace of me beating him up almost all the time. “You think my three years of affection for Winwin will just magically go away if I liked him? Don’t be ridiculous, will you?” I let out a ‘tsk’ as I threw him a death glare.

“You never know, sweetie.” Yuta breathed out, putting his phone away and getting close to me. “He’s coming in ten minutes so I’ll go now, okay? Text me when you get home.” Yuta gave a heartwarming smile as he reached both his hands out to rub my shoulders before bidding his last goodbye and going back in.

I scratched my head as I sat down at one of the benches near the entrance while I waited for Taeyong. I soon saw the motorbike that looked familiar since it was always parked at the parking lot at school, knowing it was him.

Taeyong stopped in front of me and lifted the shield of his helmet, revealing his face. He stepped down from his bike and headed to the trunk to take out a spare helmet. I walked up to him with a soft smile.

“Thanks for wanting to send me home. I would’ve gone myself.” I said as I took the helmet that Taeyong handed out to me. “It’s fine. I was pretty free and wanted to go out for a bit.” Taeyong smiled back with a light shrug.

“By the way...” I let out while adjusting my helmet. “Hm?” Taeyong asked.

“Can you take me to an ice cream shop? Any will do. I just need to eat something sweet right now.”

Taeyong got on his back and tapped the seat behind him to signal me to get on as he started up his motorbike. “Sure. I have a place in mind.”

I hopped on as I thought we were about to head off, Taeyong turned his head back to look at me. “You should place your hands on my shoulder. If it’s uncomfortable for you, just hold onto the handles beside you. Just... make sure you have something to grip on.”

I looked down to one of my sides to find the handle that Taeyong mentioned but there’s wasn’t any. I didn’t bother asking and made the quick decision if placing my hands on his shoulders to not keep him waiting. He finally puts down the shield of his helmet as we drove off.

Taeyong ended up taking me to an ice cream shop that was opened for twenty four hours. Which I was thankful for since it meant that there’s an ice cream shop I could go to at four in the morning in case I was in my feels one night.

I ordered two scoops of cookie dough while Taeyong ordered three scoops of cookies and cream. We had to sit at the roadside since the shop didn’t provide anywhere to sit. But I was fully fine with it since I wanted to feel the night air as well as look at the night sky.

We both ate in silence till I fed myself a bite and stuck my spoon into the ice cream, looking up to the sky and closing my eyes for moment.

“Are you on your period, perhaps?” Taeyong suddenly asked. I opened my eyes and tilted my head back down to look at him, shaking my head. “Why’d you think that?”

“I know that most girls have cravings that kick in at random times of the day during their periods. I also know girls crave sweet things too.” I chuckled at his response, nodding my head in agreement. “You’re right about the craving thing. But I’m not on my period.”

I paused for a moment before letting out a soft sigh. “It’s more of eating something sweet to wash down all the bitter feelings that build up in my throat.” I whispered, grabbing my spoon to take another bite.

Taeyong clicked his tongue and nodded his head slowly. “Do you mind me asking why? I-If it’s too personal you don’t have to-“

“What would you do if you liked a girl who’s your best friend for three years but she ended up liking someone else?” I cut him off, tilting my head to the side.

Taeyong looked up to stop and think. “I’ll probably do something to lose my feelings for her. I wouldn’t want to make myself suffer by keeping my feelings depite me knowing she won’t except it.”

“You know like move on. If I liked a girl for three years, I’ll probably take a long time to let go but maybe with the help of meeting new people and distancing myself away from her, I’ll eventually forget about her.” Taeyong added.

As I listened to his advice, I understood what he meant. Why do I burden myself with such feelings? It’s like I’ve been trapped in a cage due to the unrequited love I have for Winwin. Why make myself suffer any longer?

“That’s true... I probably should- I-I mean a friend asked me- Oh who am I kidding I’m asking you this for my sake.” I let out a sigh in defeat, stabbing my spoon into the ice cream before aggressively taking another bite.

“Let’s play some music. It’ll lighten the mood up a little.” Taeyong said with a warm smile, noticing my somber aura and wanting to do something about it.

He opened his phone as he scrolled through his playlist to find a song. “I really like this song so if I suddenly burst out dancing stupidly, don’t make fun of me.” I chuckled before nodding my head, eagerly as I was curious about the song he wanted to play. “I’m not judgy I promise.”

While the spoon that was filled with ice cream was being brough up to my lips, the song started playing and I quickly took a bite before swallong and gaping my mouth open as I instantly recognised the intro.

“Roses by Finn Askew?!” I asked with excitement. Taeyong nodded his head happily as he began to sing the lyrics, bringing his hands up and vibing to the music.

I laughed as I watched him sing and have fun. I decided to let go and sing as well, grooving my body as I finished my last spoon of ice cream.

Throughout the whole song, the two of us didn’t stop dancing in our seats. I constantly laughed at the weird movements and actions he did while we nodded our heads to the soothing music that we both loved.

Taeyong’s singing talent also shined through as he sang the song. I was definitely impressed by how much of a good singer he was. “I didn’t know you could sing like that, Taeyong.” I complimented as another song began to play in the background.

“It’s just a hidden talent most people don’t know. But I’m more to rapping.” Taeyong said with a shrug, placing his now empty cup beside him.

“Actually you’re one of the few people that know I rap.” Taeyong added.

I giggled in response. “I’m honoured to be one of the lucky few. Send me an audio of you rapping sometime. I’d love to hear it.” Taeyong chuckled lowly.

I quicly glance at my phone to check the time. I realised it was getting late and that I shouldn’t be out any longer. I looked at Taeyong, wanting to ask if he could take me home.

He turned to me and gave me a smile. A smile that I was suddenly to drawn into. The way his eyes formed a thin line as his lips curled up. He looked perfect and could make anyone swoon. He was cute.

“I know it’s getting late but can we just stay here a little while longer? I’m trying to savour this atmosphere.” I whispered.

Taeyong nodded and handed me his phone out of the blue. I raised an eyebrow at his sudden action. “Play any song you want. We can stay here as long as you want to.” Taeyong said in a gentle voice.

With that, I spent at least a few hours just sitting at the roadside with Taeyong as I swayed my head to peaceful songs that fit the mood. Taeyong was kind enough to let me play whatever song I liked even though I know there’s a few he wouldn’t know. Surprisingly, Taeyong and I had the same taste in music, which made us talk sbout our favourite artists etc.

I realised how quickly I got to know Taeyong. In a matter of a few hours, it felt like I instantly clicksd with him and I somehow felt as though I’ve known him for a long time. This feeling with Taeyong was refreshing and new. I liked it without a doubt.

Once we decided it was actually getting late, we called it a nighy and have Taeyong drive me home. When we arrived at my apartment, I got off and took off the helmet, passing it to Taeyong as he got off his motorbike as well to put the helmet back in the trunk.

“It was nice hanging out with you. I actually had fun for the first time in a long time.” I said after Taeyong closed the lid of the trunk and turned to me.

“Just call me if you need more ice cream.” Taeyong winked playfully. I took my phone out for him to put his number in. Once that was done, I stood in front of Taeyong, wanting to wait for him to drive off but he didn’t seem to move, leaning back against the motorbike.

“Aren’t you going to go?” I asked.

“I’m waiting for you to head inside so I know you got home safely.” Taeyong mentioned casually.

I chuckled and shook my head, nodding before making my way to the entrance. I turned around and flashed him one last smile and a small wave before heading in.

“Oi! Why the fuck are you home so late?! Did you know how worried I was?! Yuta told me Taeyong was going to send you home!” Damn, I just had to come home with Winwin shouting at me.

“I went out with him for a bit! And can you shut up it’s late at night and you’ll wake up the neighbours.”

I made my way to my room only to have Winwin following behind me and entering as well. “You shouldn’t be staying out late with a guy you barely know. Who knows what could happen to you?”

I took out my belongings from my sling bag and hung it behind my door, scoffing loudly.

“Oh so now you’re worrying? I bet you were out with Haeun and came home late as well.” I fought back.

“I came home earlier than you.”

“Taeyong is Yuta’s friend. And I do know him. So shut it and get out of my face. I’m tired.” I lashed out, pushing Winwin out of my room and slamming the door shut.

I plopped myself onto my bed as I took in the comfort of laying down on the most comfortable space I’ll ever know.

As I played with my phone, I suddenly got a text from an unknown number.

Unknown number: hey it’s Taeyong. you dont have to reply since i bet you’ll be sleeping by now but hope you made it home safely.

I let out an “Ah...” now knowing this was Taeyong’s number and saving it into my contacts.

Y/n: oMg chIlL i got home just fine thanks to you. hope you made it home safe as well

the ice cream man: i did, dont worry. i hope i got to get rid of any bitter feelings you had. goodnight :)

I left him on seen as I placed my phone screen down beside me and looked up the ceiling.

The night I spent with Taeyong somehow felt, magical. Like Cinderella at the ball. I had a lot of fun with him and I was able to let myself be free. Surprisingly, Winwin wasn’t on my mind for a second while I was with Taeyong. I only wished to continue being Cinderella for more than one night as I craved to hang out with Taeyong.

But also, the advice that Taeyong gave me continuously resonated in my head.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let go after all.

On the very same night, Winwin had to face his feelings as well.

“What’s your real reason for going out with Haeun?” Yuta asked as he walked to the living room where Winwin was at and taking a seat beside him. Winwin took a sip of water from the cups that Yuta brought from the kitchen. “Because I like her.”

“Now’s not the time to fuck with me, Winwin. I know it’s something else.”

Winwin exhaled sharply and fighting back with a, “What else is there? I like Haeun, so I asked her out.” Yuta scoffed and slammed his cup down on the table, his eyes narrowed down to Winwin.

“How long are you going to keep this up? What are you trying to do? Hide your feelings? Use Haeun to distract yourself from her? How low can you get?”

Winwin took in a deep breath and rubbed one hand down his face in frustration. “I told you. I like her as a friend.”

“No.” Yuta replied instantly with a stern tone. “You think I don’t know you? You don’t think I see you staring at her during class? Or that one time where you ranted to me about how she went out with a group of guys from our class.” Yuta got closer to Winwin and he wasn’t fazed at all, determined to maintain this eyecontact that was filled to the brim with tension.

“So? It’s because I care for her. Are friends not suppose to do that?” Winwin retorted back, leaning in as he bored his eyes into Yuta’s.

“She’s right. You really are delusional. I don’t know why I bothered trying.” Yuta downed the rest of his drink and stood up, placing the cup on the table. “Well, she told me I should just make you realise it yourself.” Yuta bent down to meet Winwin’s eye level.

“And you better pray that by the time you do, it won’t be too late.”

With that, Yuta grabbed his belongings and headed to the door, exiting and slamming the door shut. Winwin blinked his eyes a few times and stared at the door.

To be honest, Winwin didn’t understand what just happened. A lot of questions popped up in his mind after Yuta left. What did he meant by delusional? What was he delusional about? What did he have to realise for himself? And what did she have to do with all this?

The longer he sat there in deep thought with analysing everything that Yuta said, Yuta was right in some way. The fact that he gets concerned for her with whatever action she did, but ended up not doing anything about it. He stared at her in class to make sure she wouldn’t fall asleep. He was overprotective about her being around guys because he didn’t want guy to be with her but himself and Yuta. The problem is, why did Yuta talked to him about it as if it was something else? Isn’t this what you do with your friends?

Winwin’s eyes immediately darted back to the front door where he heard the shuffling of footsteps coming. He knew it was her. The moment she opened the door, one last questioned surfaced in his mind.

“What’s too late?”

Little by little, one ice cream date at a time, I began to get a lot more closer to Taeyong. He never lets down an ice cream date and everytime I was with him, he gave me a place where I could go away from my sufferings of my complex love situation. It was as if he gave me a way to escape. Just by being with him, I felt that I didn’t need to suffer.

Our ice cream dates evolved into doing other things like exploring the city, or trying out restaurants we’ve never been to before. To be honest, I would do anything if it meant being with Taeyong. He really was like my very own escape world, where I could run away from the only problem I’m currently facing. Which was Winwin.

Since our exams were coming up, our dates naturally became centered around studying. Today was no different, going to the study cafe that we’ve been to a couple of times.

We decided to sit at the corner of the cafe so that we’ll be able to concentrate better. Me being the relatively smarter one, I had to tutor Taeyong. It was a good thing that he wasn’t one to slack on his studies. He’s avarage in terms of academics but he was willing to try and get better. It made it easy for me to tutor him since he would try his best to understand and stay attentive.

Though, I couldn’t help but notice him stealing quick glances of me whenever I wasn’t looking at him. Does he perhaps like me or something?

“I want coffee.” Taeyong groaned out, pouting cutely in front of me as he desperately asked for a break. I chuckled at his adorable nature and ruffled his hair. “A fifteen minute break, alright? I’ll buy you coffee.”

I was about to stand up from my seat when Taeyong gripped onto my wrist and sat me back down. “I’ll do it myself. Do you want your favourite drink?” I smiled and nodded my head eagerly.

Taeyong rose from his seat. Before he walked off, he bent down and placed a quick peck on my cheek and ran off in a matter of seconds. Taeyong turned around and flashed his cheeky playful smile with mouthing, “That was intentional.”

I giggled and waved a hand in the air, signalling him to turn to the cashier who was waiting for him to order. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel something after that small kiss.

Over time as our friendship grew, Taeyong became more affectionate towards me. He was a natural at it. Without me knowing, he ended up holding hands and giving each other kisses on the cheek of forehead. It made my heart race every time and he would tease me whenever I blushed. Of course I did the same to him.

A little while later he came back with the drinks, placing them on the table before taking his seat next to me.

We resumed studying till I heard the bell above the door rang, signalling that someone has came in. I didn’t really care about it as the music from Taeyong’s phone played on one side of the earpiece that I wore was loud. I then however heard a very familiar voice.

Looking up, I saw Winwin and Haeun standing by the counter to order. With creases formed on my forehead with eyes that were glued to the two of them, Taeyong noticed my expression and looked at where my gaze was at. “I’m assuming that’s the guy you like for three years?” I nodded with a defeated sigh.

“We can go if you want. I’m afraid it’ll distract you.” Taeyong whispered. Right as I was about to reply, Winwin and Haeun turned around with their drinks as they tried finding a seat. While Winwin’s eyes scanned through the area, he made eye contact with me, causing him to give a confused look until Haeun went up to kiss his cheek and urging him to sit at the spot she found for them.

I bowed my head to greet him while Winwin did the same. I turned back to Taeyong after that awkward encounter. “It’s fine. It’ll be a hassle for us to waste time to go somewhere else.” Taeyong shrugged and nodded his head, resuming to look at the question in front of him.

We were studying for quite some time and I started to feel my adrenaline to continue studying slowly disappearing. With my chin on the palm of my hand, I tried to close my eyes to let them rest for a moment while letting out a tired sigh. Suddenly, I felt Taeyong’s hand guiding my head to rest on his shoulder.

I moved my head around to try and find a comfortable position, which ended up with my head being buried in the crook of Taeyong’s neck. I sniffed the strong scent of his perfume that I oh so adore. “You always smell good.” I complimented.

Taeyong chuckled in response. “I’ll continue to smell good if it means that you’ll rest your head on me more.” I tilted my head up with my chin still resting on his shoulder as I looked up. Taeyong brought his head down to make eye contact with me, leaning in slowly and kissing my forehead ever so gently.

“Go sleep. You need some rest.” With a hand slowly snaking around my waist, I got comfortable with Taeyong’s embrace. Before I closed my eyes, I absentmindedly looked towards where Winwin was sitting. For some reason, he gave me a look of anger, with a tensed body and clenched fist on the table and eyes lit with fire. It disappeared almost instantly when Haeun called out to him, forcing him to look back at her with a wide grin.

What the fuck was she doing with Taeyong? When has she gotten so clingy with him? How are they that close in the span of a few months? Questions like these circled Winwin’s mind throughout the time he was at the study cafe with Haeun.

Oddly, he couldn’t get his eyes and mind off her and Taeyong. He observed their very move closely. He felt like raging every time Taeyong even placed a finger on her. You could imagine how Winwin felt when Taeyong had his arm around her waist and her head on his shoulder.

She said they were just friends. But Winwin couldn’t believe that claim at all. Friends are not so touchy like this, right? As much as he wanted to agree to that question, he couldn’t. Because that’s what he’s been doing with her as well. Being physically close while still being friends. He just never imagined she’d do it with someone else.

Winwin knew for a fact that what he was feeling was pure jealousy. It shocked him due to how mad he could get at this.

After his study session with Haeun, he went straight back home. Realising you weren’t there, he assumed you went out with Taeyong again. He rushed into his room and threw himself onto his bed, placing a pillow over his face and screaming into it.

Winwin threw the pillow beside him and huffed, looking up at the ceiling. Once again he was deep in thought as he stared at the ceiling. This time, he was fighting a war in his head as he tried his best not to admit his feelings. The pride he held to deny it. But he couldn’t hold on anymore. Allowing his wall to crumble down as he came face to face with his true feelings. He decided to call Yuta to ask for help.

The moment Yuta picked up the phone, Winwin said, “Okay you’re right. I can’t beat around the fucking bush anymore. I like her. I like her a lot. I denied my feelings for her because I didn’t want our friendship to be at risk. I only used Haeun to get over her but I can’t. She’s on my mind even though I’m with Haeun.”

It took awhile for him to hear an answer from the other end of the line, only silence and breathing could be heard till Yuta responded with a, “Tell her that once you get into college. Right now, she’s probably studying hard for the high school leaving examinations. It would be best to stay out of her way and focus on your studies.” With that, Yuta hung up.

Winwin was left with his thoughts, unable to sleep till three in the morning because all he could think about was her. Whatever Yuta said the other day now made sense. She’s liked him for so long but she never confessed. He realised how dumb and delusional he was to not see that someone liked him right under his nose but he didn’t know it, brushing it off like it meant nothing because he didn’t want to admit his feelings for her. Fuck his pride and delusional ass.

As the days of the exams are coming closer than ever, Winwin tried his best to stay focus and study to the best of his abilities. Though he still couldn’t get her off his mind. It wasn’t the main thing he thought about but it was always hidden in the folds of his thoughts. It sometimes made him malfunction a little as well.

“Sicheng are you serious?! This is basic shit I thought you know about this!” Yuta scolded as he tapped in pen on the table and pointed to the question that Winwin answered incorrectly. Yuta sighed and covered his eyes with a hand for a moment before turning to Winwin.

“You aren’t working right today. You good, bro?” Yuta asked with concern. Winwin frowned and ran a hand down his face. “Is it that bad?”

Yuta clicked his tongue and places his pen down, leaning against the table.

“You’re one of the smartest students. Your brain works like a computer, like clockwork. Yet you just can’t seem to think straight because you’re thinking of her, right?”

It took awhile for Winwin to answer before he nodded slowly and gulping. “I can’t do anytning about it now. I don’t want to disrupt her studies. It’s fucking killing me...” Winwin laid his head on the table and covered himself with his arms, earning a big smack in the back by Yuta that made him jolted back up.

“Let’s forget it for awhile. Stay focus. We need to get into college, alright? Come on, let’s get something to drink before continuing.”

A year later.

I finally made it through your high school leaving examination and got accepted into the college I signed up for. Surpringly, Taeyong made it as well. Despite us having different majors, we did share a common elective for History.

“Today’s class was fun.” I said sarcastically, waving my hands in the air lazily. Taeyong laughed and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Very.” He commented.

Today we decided to stay back and hang out in the music studio where the music majors use to record their singing etc. Taeyong promised me to play me one of the new songs he wrote.

The studio was located on the first floor of the campus and it was near the entrance as well. Basically the window of the studio showed fhe streets and people could walk by and see whoever’s inside. Well, only if they bent because the window is half the size of a regular one due to the studio being a little lower than ground floor.

We chilled in there for awhile. With me laying on Taeyong’s lap while the two of us were on our phones. I got bored of reading the news on twitter so I turned off my put and looked out at Taeyong. “Play your song now!” I whined. He immediately placed his phone away and looked down on me.

“Okay, okay chill!” Taeyong shouted out, leaning in to kiss my forehead. I got off his lap and allowed him to set up to play his new song.

He got inside the recording booth and told me to sit down and wear the headphones. I followed his instructions, though I was confused when he told me to press a button that would play the song but I got around that.

“Can you hear me?” Taeyong asked, placing his mouth near the microphone in front of him. I nodded and gave him a thumbs up, proceeding to press the button that would start the song.

The first few beats of the song already got my hyped up as I began to nod my head to the music while looking at Taeyong while a bright smile. He smiled back before starting to rap. I was intrigued instantly and started vibing to his voice.

As the continued on with the song, I couldn’t help myself but stand up to dance. He saw me dancing and looked to me while he sang into the microphone, starting to move to the beat as well.

I laughed happily as I started to make weird movements which triggered Taeyong to fall off his rhythm a little and laugh, picking up right where he left off soon after.

Absentmindedly, I glanced sideways to the window and saw a pair of legs facing towards the window. Like I said, since the studio was a little lower than ground floor, the window only showed a small portion of the streets.

To see a pair of legs there was weird. Whoever it was, they stayed there for quite some time since I didn’t see them leave until Taeyong finished the song.

Taeyong took off the headphones he had on and got out of the recording booth. “So how was that?”

I immediately ran up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close and placing a warm peck on his lips. “Perfect as usual, Mister Lee Taeyong.” I ran a hand through his hair and giggled with glee.

Winwin’s POV.

I stood there as I heard her laugh. The unique signature laugh that I once used to hear everyday. The one that never failed to brighten my day no matter the situation. The familiarity of it brought me home, but at the same time it brought a different feeling. A hurtful one that made my heart ache. To know that the one that made her laugh wasn’t me.

I couldn’t stop regretting not telling her how I feel. I planned to tell her after the exams, but life moved too quickly for the two of us and we eventually went our separate ways. A year now has passed as I still held my feelings for her close to my heart. I understood how she felt now. Not being able to tell her how I feel for a whole year. How did she survive liking me with an additional two years.

I know I can’t have her back. She was able to let go of me and be together with someone that made her happy instead of the burden I made her go through. But at the very least, I hope to make her happy one last time before I disappear from her sight forever.

One night, I received a text from Winwin. Of course I still had his number because I didn’t see a reason to delete it. We naturally went our separate ways due to college and all. The text said to meet him at the big tree beside our high school. I found it odd. Considering how it was ten in the night. I figured maybe he needed someone to talk to in person.

“Sicheng!” I called out to him, waving my hand up in the air slightly. Winwin waved back as I took a seat next to him. “What’d you call me out here for? It’s pretty late as well.” I glanced at the time on my phone before looking to Winwin.

“I asked you to come because I have something to tell you.” Winwin said, looking down and fidgeting with his thumbs. I grew nervous as I didn’t know what to expect.

“Um... What is it?” I asked hesitantly, tilting my head slightly to look at his face that he hid by looking down.

After a moment of silence, he finally cleared his throat as looked up, staring deep into my eyes.

“I liked you.” He whispered.

Did I hear that correctly? I couldn’t have, right?

“I really did. I liked you.” Winwin repeated himself when he realised he didn’t get a reponse.

I gulped as I could only stare back in disbelief. The words I wanted to hear for years. Why did I feel different from the way I expected to react from it.

I sighed, licking my bottom lip. “It’s been so long, Sicheng. Saying it now... I don’t feel anything from it anymore.” I replied reluctantly.

“I know. I just felt the need to tell you. You’re happy with Taeyong. I understand that.”

Another moment of silence (longer silence this time) filled the air. The two of us looked up into the sky, getting lost in its darkness.

“Just wanted you to know that I did like you back in high school. I was just dumb to realise it myself.” Winwin added on with a soft laugh. The hurtful kind of laugh.

I punched him lightly in the arm, making him look at me with a surprised face. “You really were.” I whispered.

“I actually got a dance gig at America.”

I widened my eyes as my mouth gaped open slightly. “Really?!” I gasped. He nodded.

“It also meant that I’m moving to America in a few days.” Winwin glanced sideway before sighing.

I placed a hand on his back, rubbing it up and down slowly. “You’ll do great there. I’ll keep in contact.”

“I’m happy I get to tell you about my feelings and talk to you before I go.”

I reached my arms out and pulled him into a hug. I suddenly hear him sobbing into my shirt, damping it a little as his sobs were muffled. I brought my hand up to his hair, caressing it gently.

“I’m happy I got to love you for once in my life. Despite it being tiring, it did make me who I am today.”

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rjhpandapaws · 3 years

Text

A Hand in the Matter

Ch5: I May Not Know You Well But...

//Warning(s): implied obsessive-compulsive behavior, graphic-ish description of a depressive espisode, and poor self image.

Gavin wasn't the best with people, he never had been. Social cues were hard and he tended to miss them anyway. So, he couldn't exactly be blamed for the amount of time it took him to realize Richard wasn't his usual self. They'd known each other a few weeks and hung out pretty consistently, be it to study or just kick back at Gavin's apartment. In the past few days, the silence that accompanied Richard seemed heavier. The joke of tall, dark and brooding now seemed less a joke and more of a new normal. Gavin was at a loss.

Richard wasn't exactly the most expressive person. His smiles were little more than a slight curl at the corner of his lips that Gavin quickly learned to look for. It was rare for them to show in his eyes. Gavin had seen that smile once, three weeks ago at the cafe when he had signed his order for the first time. Since then Richard had been more withdrawn. Gavin had believed it to be the usual of Richard playing his cards close to his chest, until today. Today Richard had cancelled their study session, and the ones after.

Gavin: we still meeting at the cafe today?

Gavin: asking because I'm running a little late

Gavin: you're gonna need to grab the table

Tall Phcker from Psych: i think you should find another tutor

Tall Phcker from Psych: its nothing personal Gavin.

Gavin stared at his phone in shock, in the hall outside his apartment, grocery bags on his arm and probably looking like an idiot, but he didn't understand why this was happening. They were friends right? That couldn't have just been in his head.

Gavin: was it something I did?

Richard had said it wasn't personal, and Gavin wanted to believe him, but this had come out of no where. Gavin shook his head to clear it, he had things to do today. He could manage studying on his own, probably. He opened the door to his apartment, calling a greeting to his cat before heading to the kitchen. He set the bags on the counter and began to unpack them and put the contents away. He tucked the plastic bags under the sink.

Gavin checked his phone, but he had no new messages, no explanation for the sudden cut off. He sighed and grabbed his backpack and flopped onto his old beat up couch. He put the backpack beside him on the couch, taking up the spot where he would normally find Richard. Pushing that thought back down where it belonged, Gavin fished out his textbook and flipped to the chapter they were covering that week.

Richard had suggested reading the chapter over first, giving it time to sink in, and then going over it again to take notes. So Gavin settled in to read, playing music quietly through the smart speaker on the end table. He made progress, for a while, but at some point it devolved into him just staring absently at a diagram, none of it registering. He was drawn into his own thoughts, trying to pick apart where he had gone wrong. Trying to figure out what he had done that had caused Richard to pull away from him.

Richard at least seemed to enjoy talking with him, or, at least listening to Gavin talk. He would respond with dry jokes of his own from time to time. Whenever Gavin started something it turned out he couldn't handle Richard usually came to his aid, pulling him from fights, or playing peace keeper, and on occasion simply being damage control. Outwardly at least, Richard hadn't seemed to mind, but Gavin was beginning to worry that maybe he did. Richard was calm and quiet, a constant to Gavin's rowdy and combative, and he had probably decided that Gavin was too exhausting to keep around. He was violently startled out of his thoughts by his phone vibrating loudly against the end table. He had messages from a number that wasn't in his contact list, which was odd.

3132483175: is this Gavin?

3132483175: my name is Connor. Richard is my younger brother.

3132483175: I would like to talk with you

3132483175: if you have the time that is

Gavin read the texts, and then read them again to make sure he had read them correctly. He added Connor to his contact list before replying.

Gavin: hey

Gavin: is Richard alright?

My Name is Connor: I was going to ask you that actually

My Name is Connor: he has been acting very distant the past few days and I can't figure out why

Gavin: you and me both

Gavin: he sent me a couple texts earlier one saying I should find another psych tutor and the other saying that it wasn't anything personal

My Name is Connor: hmm

My Name is Connor: my break is almost over. Mind swinging by Hand Brewed Hope so we can talk?

My Name is Connor: I'm off at 3

Gavin: alright. See you then

Gavin stared at his phone for a long moment. Then scrolled to the top of the short conversation to read through it again to make sure that it had actually happened. Richard hadn't pulled away from just him. He was happy for a moment, but that was soon eaten alive by guilt. Connor was clearly worried. Enough so to reach out to a stranger to see if they knew anything. Reassured that it (probably) wasn't his fault, anxiety gave way to worry.

What was it that was hurting Richard so badly that he would withdraw from Connor? He'd spoken of him in such high regards before, that they had seemed close. Richard had been at least opening his messages, even if it was just to clear the notifications. It wouldn't hurt to send another.

Gavin: text Connor please, he's worried about you

He sent it before he could worry if he had stepped out of line. Even if he had, it was from a good place. If he didn't ever come to talk to Gavin again, he at least wanted Richard to have Connor to lean on. He didn't like the thought of Richard being alone, even the most composed needed someone to lean on when things got difficult.

As it turned out, time flies when you're worried. He didnt get much more studying done and by the time it was creeping up on three o'clock, Gavin was grabbing his jacket and keys for the second time that day. Has he headed down the hall to the lobby he shot Connor a text.

Gavin: headed your way coffee boy

He eyes his motorcycle in the parking lot for a moment, but decided walking to the cafe would give him more time to gather his thoughts. He wasn't sure why Connor wanted to talk. Mutual worry seemed to be part of it, but it also felt like Connor was trying to do damage control.

In a way, Gavin was doing the same thing. Trying to gage what was wrong and see what he could do to fix it. He just couldn't figure out what it was. Maybe with Connor's help they could get it figured out and try and get a handle on it.

It was after three by the time he arrived at the cafe. He scanned the place for Connor and found him at the corner table where he and Richard sat to study. Connor met his eyes and waved him over. There were two cups on the table, when he sat down Connor slid the bigger one over to him.

"Thanks." Gavin said trying to relax some in the chair, "So you wanted to talk to me?"

Connor was still in his work uniform and his expression was friendly, but the worry was still showing through, "Yeah. If thats okay. You're a friend of his and he thought he might have told you what was wrong, but since he didnt I thought we could compare notes on what's been going on."

Gavin took a drink for the sole purpose of stalling the conversation, at least the drink was his usual. "That makes sense. I didn't notice until a few days ago, but looking back on it, it started just after the day I first signed my drink order. He seemed really happy that day, but after that he started pulling away from me."

Connor nodded keeping his eyes on Gavin, but it felt like he was looking through him rather than at him, "He really seems to like you. I've never seen him go out of his way to interact with someone before."

Gavin took a moment to let that sink in. Richard didn't seem the type to have a lot of friends but Gavin had thought he was one of a few.

"Seemed to." Gavin found himself saying, "He decided today that apparently he's better off if we don't talk."

"He didn't say that!" Connor snapped with enough venom that a few other patrons looked over at them, "According to your own messages he said you should find a new tutor, not that he disliked you." Both Connor's voice and expression were sharp as he defended his brother, "Anyway, its like you said. After that day he started to pull away. With me at least it started with him not returning my texts, then yesterday he asked me to stop calling him, and I haven't heard from him since. He's at least reading the messages, but that doesn't make me feel much better."

"Because he doesn't like having the notifications hanging around." Gavin said with a nod. Richard was odd with organization and clutter. Gavin had actively started keeping his apartment clean after Richard's first visit resulted in him having a panic attack, "It's not exactly reassuring."

"No." Connor sighed, "its not." He drank from his own cup and then sat forward, "the only thing that has changed in his life recently is you." Connor held up a hand silencing Gavin's building argument, "I'm not blaming you. It was a positive change, he was coming out of his shell. But I can't help to wonder if it was too much at once."

"Maybe we should go see him." Gavin suggested, "we don't know what's going on and he isn't answering our messages. He doesn't want to come to us, so instead we should go to him."

"But what if he wants to be alone? He's a very private person you know." Connor argued though it sounded weak to Gavin.

"Should he be alone though? By your own words he's almost always been alone. What if this time it's different Connor? What if he needs someone and doesn't know how to ask?" Gavin paused to breathe, "he's used to being relied on, relying on others may be new to him."

Connor just stared at him, like Gavin had said something he hadn't thought of. His brown eyes narrowed before he stood like the devil himself was on his heels. He looked down at Gavin the determination of the rest of his expression only just masking the worry lingering in his eyes, "Well? Are you coming or not."

Gavin took a moment to collect himself before standing. He grabbed his cup and followed Connor out of the cafe. The brunette took his apron off as he walked, a skill Gavin was genuinely impressed by, and folded it under his arm keeping it close. Gavin trailed behind Connor trying not to lose him in the crowd but he was cutting a fast pace. He'd never personally been to Richard's apartment but knew he at least lived close by. He often mentioned walking to the cafe. Connor turned down a side street Gavin almost missed. Connor slowed down some so Gavin assumed they were getting close.

"Have you ever been to Nines's place before?" Connor asked, not turning to face Gavin.

"Nines?" Gavin asked, unsure if it was a nickname or another person all together, "uh no why?"

"Nines is Richard's nickname, the number always seems to bring him good luck." Connor elaborated, smiling at some memory Gavin wasn't privy to, "ah, then he may not like you showing up uninvited."

"Well he should have thought about that before he decided to drop off the fucking grid." Gavin responded a little defensively, "look I'll apologize after all of this is fixed, buy him something fuzzy. The whole bit."

Connor stopped to look over at Gavin, "how do you know about his texture sensitivity? He never tells anyone about that."

"If it makes you feel better, I just found out about it from you." Gavin remarked, "I just figured he liked fuzzy shit because I have a cat at my place and he takes her hostage evertime he comes over."

Guilt settled into Connor's features and he began walking with purpose again, "oh. Please don't tell him I told you."

"Don't worry, I wont."

The silence settled over them again, but it was less suffocating this time, the urgency still remained but they were no longer being smothered by it. Connor lead him into a parking lot, not the main one from the look of it and headed for the building marked A3. Gavin followed, only slightly less sure of himself than before. There had to be a reason Richard hadn't opened his apartment to Gavin, and now that Connor had mentioned it; he wondered if showing up was breaking some unspoken rule. Gavin's worry won out over his guilt. As the saying went, it was easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

Richard lived on the fifth floor at the end of the building opposite the elevator because of course he did. Gavin was winded by the time they reached their stop, and mad because Connor wasn't. The bastard continued down the hall like they hadn't just climbed five fucking floors worth of stairs. They arrived at apartment 509-A and Gavin was relatively certain that Richard could hear his breathing from wherever he happened to be in his apartment. Connor took a key from his pants pocket and much to Gavin's surprise opened the door without knocking. He had figured Connor to be more polite than that, but as it was looks could be deceiving.

"Richard?" Connor called into the silent apartment as he entered, "Its Connor. I brought Gavin with me. We just want to talk alright? We're worried about you."

Connor had taken his shoes off at the door and set them aside, so Gavin copied the action. He knew they wouldn't receive a verbal response, but the lack of movement worried him. He let Connor take point because he knew the apartment better, and Gavin figured seeing his brother might keep Richard from freaking out too much.

The living room and kitchen areas were both empty. The items and furniture in them in such specific places that they looked sterile and unlived in. Not even a dish out of place. No wonder his first visit to Gavin's place had made him panic. Connor continued down the hall, the first two rooms were empty, one was a bathroom and the other a makeshift office. Both as clean and sterile as the rest of the apartment, it was unsettling. There was a third door at the end that was closed, this one Connor knocked on before opening.

The lights were off and the curtains closed though they weren't thick enough to block out the light. There was a lump curled up under the covers that was most likely Richard.

"I'm going to turn the light on." Connor warned gently, giving Richard time to acknowledge it, though he didn't respond, before turning on the light.

The room was a mess, not just in relation to the sterile clean of the rest of the apartment, but an actual mess. Clothes were scattered on the floor and piled on the bed, pulled from the closet and dresser from the looks of it. Not that Gavin had too much time to observe it. After the light came on Richard sat up in bed, blue eyes locked on Gavin, pain and anger fighting for control in them.

'Get Out!' He signed, 'Leave!'

Gavin flinched and took a half step back, but otherwise held his ground, he didn't understand why Richard was angry with him. It was the most emotion he'd ever seen from him. It wrapped his whole body, darkened his eyes and made him look dangerous. Being the cause of such a visceral reaction cut Gavin to his core. It shook his resolve almost to the point of shattering it. This was personal after all, the text to the contrary was Richard trying to keep the peace like he always did. Gavin should have listened.

"Can... can you at least tell me what I did wrong?" Gavin was looking everywhere but in Richard's eyes, settling on his hands as he began to sign.

'You Lie. Not My Friend. Only Want Teacher.'

Hurt flared even more violently in Gavin's chest and he shrank in on himself, "I... you're my friend Richard. I never meant for you to feel like this. I want to fix it."

'LIAR!' Gavin's eyes snapped up to Richard's when he heard a choked off sob. Tears were spilling down Richard's cheeks and it was Gavin's fault, 'Not My Friend. Now Leave.'

"Alright. If you want me to go, I will." Gavin's voice wavered, tears pressing at the back of his eyes threatening to spill over, but Connor cut him off before he could continue his apology.

"No Richard, he stays." Connor had moved to the edge of Richard's bed at some point and was holding a notebook, reading whatever was on the page, "he was the one that said we should come by. He cares about you and is worried for you."

Richard seemed to notice what Connor had in his hand and lunged for it. Connor stepped away from the bed tucking the notebook to his chest.

Richard signed something at Connor that Gavin didn't see enough of to catch or understand. Connor didn't respond right away walking toward Gavin instead.

"I am going to show him Nines, it is about him after all." Connor's tone wasn't condescending, but it still sounded like he was speaking to a child, "you have said your piece. Gavin deserves a chance to say his."

Connor handed the notebook to Gavin and he held it like it was something precious. He turned it over so he could read the page, and immediately wished he hadn't. There. In Richard's near perfect handwriting was 'he doesn't like me' written repeatedly, getting less legible as it went down the page, tear stained in some places. On the bottom most line 'Gavin hates me' was written in blocky capital letters. Gavin shook his head like that would somehow change the words. He looked back at Richard and the dam broke, his tears spilling over and down his face.

"I... I dont hate you. And I'm so, so sorry for whatever I did that made it seem that way." He sniffled disgustingly and wiped at his eyes with his sweatshirt sleeve.

Richard's hands were shaking badly and Gavin couldn't read his signs, he looked at Connor desperate to understand what he was being told. Connor spoke once Richard's hands came to a stop.

"You stayed, no one ever stays. Not for me." Connor paused, sounding as though he was on the verge of tears himself, "I'm not worth the effort. Its too difficult to communicate with me. So no one stays. People don't like me. I am not worth knowing."

Gavin balked at that. Sure Richard wasn't friendly outwardly, but he showed his kindness in other ways.

"I stayed because I like you. You're smart, quick with a joke and nice to have around." He took a breath taking a few tentative steps toward the bed keeping the notebook close, "I'm not the easiest to get along with either, and people aren't quick to hang around. But you did."

'You Taught Me Your Language.' Gavin signed hoping to convey how much that act alone had meant to him.

Richard's hands went flying, signing at a speed Gavin couldn't hope to understand. He was apparently operating under the assumption that Connor would continue to act as their translator.

"You don't know me." Connor paused letting Richard sign more of his thoughts before continuing, "I am not my brothers, I am not kind. People are difficult and they cause me stress. You do not, being around you is nice. I'm not used to it, it scares me."

Gavin set the notebook on the bed and Richard was quick to grab it.

"You're right I dont know you all that well, but I still let you into my home, showed you my cat and let you eat your way through my fridge. I only tolerate that kind of behavior from my friends." He took a breath having found his footing and barreled forward. He would lose his nerve if he stopped now, "you're right. You aren't Connor and that's what I like about you."

Connor let out a sound that was something between a laugh and an offended scoff. Gavin kept talking.

"You're Richard. You leave me on read until I send you pictures of Frankie. You text me at ass o'clock in the morning because you think that if you're awake I need to be too. You come to my rescue when I get in over my head. You push me to be better, and I need that more than you know. So you're absolutely right, I may not know you well, but I wouldn't be adverse to trying."

Richard stared at him owlishly in a way that did remind him of Connor. Gavin was beginning to get uncomfortable, he wasn't good at talking about his feelings and he didn't want Richard to feel pressured by his apparent diarrhea of the mouth.

Richard picked up the notebook turning to a clean page. He shuffled things around on his nightstand until he came away with a pen. He wrote something down quickly and showed it to Gavin.

'Do you mean it?'

"Of course I mean it dipshit." Gavin cracked a watery smile, "I may be many things, but a liar isn't one of them."

More writing, scratching out whatever he had put down, not liking it and then trying again. Gavin ignored the previous two attempts, and read the third.

'Thank you Gavin. It means more than you know. I am sorry I worried you but having friends is difficult and scary. I will try not to do this again but I can't promise anything.'

Gavin shook his head, "then dont promise. Ask for help. Connor is here for you, I havent met your other brother but I'm sure he is too, and so am I. You aren't alone. Not anymore."

Richard still looked unsure of himself. He looked between Gavin and Connor as though he expected one of them to take it back, when neither one did he gave a phantom of a smile. Things weren't better and it might be a long while before they were. Richard was fighting something big and he'd been fighting it for a while. The difference now, was that he wasn't fighting it alone.

#A Hand in the Matter #reed900 #gavin reed #dbh gavin #d:bh gavin #rk900 #nines #dbh nines #nonverbal nines #dbh #d:bh #dbh connor #rk800 #connor rk800

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