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ssahotchnerr · 5 days

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speculation - aaron hotchner x reader

aaron confides in you his suspicions haley is cheating on him.

cw: bau!reader, takes place in s3 timeline - before the divorce, angst, mentions of adultery and unfaithfulness, aaron's sad but not really showing it (naturally), light foreshadowing that someday aaron and reader get together <3 wc; 1.2k

aaron's hands gripped the steering wheel and his stare was pointed forward, the atmosphere heavy in the car. grey clouds had been rolling in all morning, and now the rain was just beginning to fall, a light sprinkle pattering on the windshield.

the two of you had just frequented a crime scene, departing after a rather tense situation - one of the investigators had nearly disrupted the crime scene in a lazy wake, and aaron had thoroughly allowed him to know his mistake.

while aaron was always stern, it was... different this time.

"hotch?"

at his name, you managed to pull him from of his thoughts - you could tell by the way his jaw moved, his grip on the wheel ever so lightly loosening.

aaron didn't respond though; figuring he wasn't too keen on sharing whatever was on his mind, you put your focus out the window, watching the rain begin to slowly collect on the road.

"haley's cheating."

your head turned towards him in an instant, a sickening dread beginning to pool in your stomach at the blunt confession. "what?"

"haley's cheating on me." he fought against the brokenness that dared to ache in his voice, remaining solid and firm in his words. he released a breath, as if saying it out loud made it real; the final confirmation he needed himself. "i may just be paranoid, creating something out of nothing. but things have been... strange."

"oh." your shoulders slumped, the back of your head hitting your headrest.

"strange enough it's been noticeable."

"what's been going on?"

"weird phone calls." he bit his lip as he gazed off to the side, as if he were recalling an instance internally, his hold tightening once again. "she's been more distant. uninterested. sometimes, when she comes home, she won't look me in the eye."

ouch. "i'm sorry."

it was rather surprising, in an odd way. to the naked eye, aaron was someone who was well put together; phenomenal at his job, a clear key-in for potential director of the bureau someday. from an outsider perspective, one could infer he lived a perfect life, and therefore had the perfect family to go along with it.

if he wasn't confiding in you, that's what you would've thought.

aaron didn't talk about his personal life - that's one thing you quickly learned upon your addition to the team, a month or two ago. you could recall what penelope had for breakfast, what books spencer had read in a day, what color underwear morgan had currently on.

anything about aaron, nothing.

whether it was because he was your boss, or because he wasn't an openly expressive person, you always went back to the guilty thought - has anyone at least ever asked?

while you all went out for drinks after a long day, aaron never usually attended. but he had a family at home, of course he would go home to them - that's where his priorities laid.

the constant secrecy surrounding him was the reason you've been so intrigued by him since day one - spending so much time with someone you knew nothing about.

and if you learned anything now, he wasn't going home to the home you had previously thought. it was barely a home, he was more so a guest. you were slowly beginning to understand more why he rarely smiled.

aaron hotchner was just as human as anyone else.

even now, he wasn’t showing much emotion. it was evident he was extremely hurt, and had all the emotions one could imagine. but would he distinctly let that on, letting his vulnerability show - no.

aaron opened his mouth to respond, slight hesitation before he spoke. he began to deflect, "but i could just-"

"no. listen to your intuition." you interrupted softly, grounded. "like you said, if you're taking notice, something's going on."

he nodded in agreement, the motion of his head strained. he did force out a chuckle, a terribly sad laugh. "part of me doesn't blame her-"

"don't say that. she's your wife."

"exactly." aaron sighed out, eyeing the wedding ring on his left hand. "there's something i could've done to prevent this. to keep her interested. to solidify i'm still here for her despite the long hours and schedule. instead i'm the husband and father who's never home. and it's difficult to be the husband i want with the possible betrayal."

"she's your wife." you repeated, solemnly. "so she should know you. you're the husband and father who stops at nothing to catch the criminals who walk amongst us. you're this job, and asking for understanding on that isn't wrong. regardless of what you say you're doing wrong, or have done wrong, it doesn't give haley the excuse to... do this."

you didn't want to say cheat. not for his sake - the depth of the word felt harsh and prominent in your chest.

"i appreciate you saying that." his eyes met yours briefly, the tone of his voice genuine. "but i messed up. i guess what they say about getting needs met elsewhere is true."

you quieted.

aaron also added after a moment, in an exasperated near-whisper. "and besides... i don't think she's known me in a while."

silence filled the car once more, and you let out an exhale. you felt for him, and his marriage. you couldn't imagine what it felt like, or how he felt: the person who you thought was your forever slipping through your fingers - like trying to catch smoke. it was there, you just couldn't grasp it.

you hoped you weren't overstepping boundaries with your next question. "does she know..."

"that i know?" aaron asked, and you nodded. he kept his stare forward, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment. "i believe so, yeah."

you waited for him to speak again, while he was confiding in you, you didn't want to pry - none of really this was your business. you at least hoped it was clear you were offering support within the silence.

and you must've, because he continued. "i feel sick to my stomach it could be happening in my house. in my bed. with our son in the next room over." he shook his head angrily with the last sentence, in disbelief as he clicked the windshield wipers on, the rain falling more heavily now. "i lie awake at night when we're gone, just thinking what's going on at the moment."

"i wouldn't do that." you offered quietly, although you knew that advice was nearly impossible to follow. "you will make yourself sick."

aaron vaguely shook his head again, defeated. "i don't know what else to do."

you weren't sure what to say, or exactly why he was telling you all this. again, you didn't know him well. and not only, in a way, he terrified you, in more ways than one. the only way you could describe it - when he looked at you, he really looked at you. you were terrified of what he could make you realize about yourself.

"so, what are you going to do?"

"i don't know."

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #criminal minds drabble #aaron hotchner drabble #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #hotch imagine #criminal minds x fem!reader

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shantechni · 4 months

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Aight, maybe I'm clinically paranoid or a little slow on the uptake (the former is more probable) but something just struck me about the episode Buried Secrets.

Donnie didn't believe Mikey, but he still went looking into Mrs. O'Neil??

Firstly, we can all agree that Donnie was bound to check out the data from the cryotube to figure out why Mrs. O'Neil was placed into stasis and left behind at the farmhouse (he's just thorough like that). However, what's interesting is that he doesn't seem concerned with the readouts until after he and the others had collectively yelled at Mikey for trying to attack Mrs. O'Neil in the dead of night. And, keep in mind, it was broad daylight when they found Mrs. O'Neil, still daylight when she told them her story, yet we don't see him messing with the cryotube's computers until nighttime.

Secondly, his demeanor towards who he believes to be Mikey is very unlike the rage he blasted him with during the interrogation scene (something that also happened at night but still preceded him checking the readouts). Maybe he's just in scientist mode and being civil, but other than appearing to be annoyed by the jump scare he received,he doesn't behave as though he's dwelling on what happened, nor does he add any input when April expresses her frustration like one would make him out to do.

Thirdly, when Donnie speaks to himself outloud, he specifies that he's attempting to find out what the Kraang did to Mrs. O'Neil, not necessarily why she was left in the cryotube. The gang learned in the previous season from Kurtzman that April's mom was experimented on before she was born, therefore turning April into a Kraang-human hybrid. And now's his chance to finally find out what was done to her.

I know it's heavily debatable if Mikey influenced Donnie's decision, and obviously he could've been messing around with the cryotube's computer off-screen before Mikey tried to attack Mrs. O'Neil, but I'd like to believe Mikey's claims weren't being as readily dismissed as everyone thought they were being. As I've mentioned in another post, even though the boys have trouble believing everything Mikey says, they do have a tendency of checking out his claims in spite of their disbelief. The first and earliest example of this is in the first episode when Mikey tries to tell them the Kraang are alien robots. It's no surprise that they don't believe him one bit, though it is a surprise that they follow him anyway.

They saw how adamant he was in trying to prove he's being honest, and his urgency is enough to persuade them.

Though the situations vary each time, they continually do this all the way into the final season when Mikey claims to have seen the '87 turtles in their dimension. They question him again, not because they don't trust him, but rather to make sure he knew what he saw was indeed the other versions of themselves. After Mikey tells them the other turtles were taken to Chinatown, Donnie puts together that they must be the reason he was detecting energy from an interdimensional portal earlier, and they all go to investigate. Of course, it turns out that Mikey's eyes weren't playing tricks on him, and Raph makes a joke about Mikey being right again.

The guys have trouble accepting Mikey's words as the truth quite a bit, but the sheer number of times that they go running after him and giving him a chance to convince them is telling of how much they trust him.

As outlandish of an occurence as it was to believe that April's mom was the enemy, they all know Mikey well enough to give his words some thought, and Donnie likely took the unexpected attack as a sure sign that he should do some investigating of his own. Whether or not the others knew what he was doing in the Kraang ship is up in the air, but it'd make sense for him to be secretive about his actions since April would only get angrier at the idea of them not trusting her mom. That idea can potentially be supported by him obviously not telling her what he's doing.

Once again I've completely lost where I was going with this, but I like to believe that Donnie started to believe Mikey right before they were thrust into another horror night.

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olderthannetfic · 4 months

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Since you've mentioned that you use Scrivener as a word processing software, I have a bit of a weird-ish question. I have looked at the programme and it seems incredibly useful, and then I looked at the pricetag and- gulp.

I currently use Word which costs 5 euros per year thanks to university, but am thinking about switching to another programme that isn't related to my uni as I feel too paranoid about my smutty fanfic ideas being looked at by my uni and them disapproving of my writing. XD (Word keeps marking "fuck" with a squiggly line and suggesting I choose another word to avoid offending my readers, but if canon doesn't give Barclay some holographic MMF action taking place during "A Fistful of Datas" and turning both his holographic partners into holographic Data and therefore inducing maximum tension and insecurity due to feelings in poor sandwiched Barclay whenever he meets actual Data after that, I will have to write it myself! :P )

According to the website where one can buy a Scrivener license, one pays for the current version of it and will have to buy later versions anew if I haven't misunderstood. You seem to have used it for quite a while, and I haven't managed to find out when the different versions came out. I know the current one is 3, but I am unsure how much time passed between 1 and 2 and 2 and 3, and am unsure whether it's a good idea to buy a license now or whether it would be wiser to wait if it's likely that another version might be released in the near future (that is within one year for example) because then I might wait a little while with my purchase, heh. It probably sounds quite stingy but I am solely getting it for my tiny and too seldom indulged hobby of writing fanfic, and currently have to kinda sorta pay more attention to my wallet and where its contents go, so to say, which is why I'm hesitant.

The question basically is: As a (probable?) long-time user, do you think it's likely a new version of Scrivener will be released within the next year or so or do you think it's likely the current version will be tha latest to purchase for a longer while than 1-2 years?

I hope this rambly mess makes sense, haven't really slept for quite some time, so I am sorry if this is terribly incomprehensible. Sorry for the weird stingy question. Have a nice day and I hope you have slept and will sleep better than I currently do, heh!

I've only used it for like three years.

A quick google suggests that Scrivener 2 was released in 2010. 3 was released in 2017 basically to keep up with OS changes.

(IDK what you searched, but this isn't hard to find, dude.)

Scrivener is a fairly... old-fashioned style of software, I guess I'd call it. Some dude wrote himself a program to write his own novel and then people liked it. Some other guy decided to port it to Windows.

They update approximately never. When they do, recent buyers of the old one upgrade for free and everybody else gets like half off. The trial period is 30 days of actual use. The current retail license for 3 is only like sixty bucks. It's a commercial product, but... not like you've been trained to expect by your average modern software that wants to nickle and dime you at every turn.

Do you need Scrivener? Well, no. Not unless you want customizable high-level ebook output formatting and fancy features like that. You could just use some other free option if you just want to type stories in something that isn't Word. But Scrivener is priced extremely low for what it is.

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adelrambles · 4 months

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Tips on Writing Bishop

I've been asked a couple times for advice on how to write a good (03-style) Bishop, and I'm well-aware he can be a bit tough to get a grasp on. As someone who's studied him specifically to learn how to write him as accurately as possible, I figured I'd compile some thoughts in case it'd be helpful to anyone else. I know a lot of Rise takes on him are basing off the 03 version, so maybe this could help generate ideas, too. SO!

Big Overall Points!

At the core of EVERYTHING Bishop does are two primary motivations. The first: the protection of the earth. What this means to him can get tricky, because it doesn't necessarily mean protecting the people, at least not all of them. But it will be better understood alongside the other:

The second: The protection of his sense of safety. Bishop has been deeply traumatized, and everything he does is born of a want to avoid that pain ever again. In his mind, earth is a safe area, a controllable factor, and anything outside it is a danger that must be eliminated. This is why he will still be willing to put himself and other people on the line in service of this; any sacrifice is worth the greater goal. (It's worth noting, Bishop will claim the first as his motivation freely, but is likely not consciously aware of the second.)

Bishop deals in Big Picture ONLY. Another reason Bishop will willingly throw away anything, including the lives of the people he claims to protect, is that he seems incapable of understanding things on a small, individual basis.

Bishop is a cold personality. He does not have strong displays of emotion. He does emote, but for the most part it's muted, so I recommend using emotional bursts very sparingly. (In my own writing, as an example, I try to limit my use of exclamation marks in his dialogue as much as possible.)

At his core, Bishop is afraid, and his response to fear is aggression. This also makes it particularly difficult to talk him down, if he's put in an emotional state. His response to not being in control is often violent retaliation.

With those basic tenants understood, let's move next to some major personality traits:

Bishop is a controlling personality. This is a direct result of his trauma response. Things that can be controlled are safe, therefore he must control everything. If something cannot be controlled, it's a threat that must be eliminated. If he doesn't know why something happened, he becomes angry (including even when it benefits him.)

Bishop is very low-empathy. When writing him, I try to keep in mind that he cannot put himself in the perspective of others. (Or if he can, he doesn't care to.)

Bishop is a sadist. He gets personal enjoyment from hurting others.

Bishop likes fighting, but only when he's winning. He will quickly leave if he can't see a guaranteed victory.

Bishop is paranoid. This is probably self-evident, but it's the reason he's often so well-prepared even when things don't go to plan.

Bishop genuinely seems to enjoy science. He's shown to be far more lenient with scientist characters than anyone else, and he seems to involve himself in his scientists' projects to a degree. Enough to, at the very least, understand their work. (Given he was the one set to dissect the turtles, it might also be argued he has some medical or biology background, himself.)

Bishop is an opportunist and scavenger. He can roll with failures as long as he can find something to get out of it. If he's presented with an opportunity to stab someone in the back, and he has something to gain? He'll take it without a second thought.

Bishop is deeply self-blind. For all his perceptiveness and strategic prowess, Bishop is not very self-aware in the slightest. He is completely blind to his own hypocrisies, and thoroughly confident in his own righteousness.

Bishop adapts fast. He accepts situations for what they are and acts (Though he may still be angry about them, or what have you.) This is likely a skill developed via longevity; the world around him has changed rapidly, but he doesn't feel out of place at all.

Bishop will take extreme risks and thinks wildly outside the box. Also self-evident, if you're familiar with the plans he enacts throughout the show. He'll put a lot on the line if he thinks the reward is worth enough, and he's willing to go to extreme lengths to get what he wants, even if his plans would be considered crazy by normal standards.

Bishop is persistent. If he wants something, he won't stop until he gets it. If he fails, he'll retreat, make a new plan, and try again. It is very difficult to convince him to back down (and certainly not on moral grounds.)

Habits and triggers I've noted:

Being restrained of any sort puts Bishop in a panic. He is more likely to have an emotional response in these scenarios, and seems to have (an albeit muted) desperation to escape. (See: Leatherhead restraining him in the first encounter; His reaction to being trapped on the surgical table in Head of State.)

When being duplicitous or suppressing a reaction, Bishop will go to adjust his tie. This could possibly be considered his tell.

Bishop seems to have a particular fear of aliens blending in as humans. His slayer project was built around the assumption that this is a common threat. (Worth noting: This makes The Shredder the model of the exact threat Bishop is afraid of. Technically, Bishop himself may also fit the description of a threat shaped like a human.)

Writing considerations:

In 03's narrative, Bishop is EPF and EPF is Bishop. Narratively speaking, any organization Bishop is head of acts as if it is an extension of his will and character.

Bishop is shown to strike fear and/or discomfort into most characters he interacts with. Anything beyond this is an outlier, and will draw a reader's attention.

Dialogue-wise, Bishop is generally succinct and blunt. He does dabble in gloating, though, and especially likes to upset others. If he's given a chance to be mean, he'll usually take it. It can help to consider he has a Mission Mode and a Normal Mode. When it comes to Mission Mode, he gets straight to the point and hates unnecessary talking. Otherwise, he's still not very talkative, but will take the time to make pointed jabs or talk through a plan. A lot of his sense of humor seems to be rooted in how He's Better Than You (And You're Going To Die Painfully.)

It's a common pitfall that Bishop is depicted as seeking out the turtles. In 03, once he gets their DNA, he's done with them. Any encounters after that are incidental. Bishop does not care about anything that won't effect his greater goal. If he's targeting another character, it should have to do with a greater plan.

Bishop is an extremely competent combatant, shown to be able to handle up to 7 opponents at once. For a breakdown on his fighting style check out my other post on that!

Bishop is hard to kill, and oftentimes he accidentally contributes to his own defeat. (The hook from Bishop's Gambit is an example I get a LOT of mileage out of, as a perfect symbol of his self-defeating prophecies.)

We almost only ever see Bishop in the context of his work. While it could be construed that he depersonalizes himself, it's much more clear that the narrative depersonalizes him. As far as we, the audience know, Bishop's work is all that he is.

It's unclear if Bishop was released from his abduction or escaped. Depending on which you ascribe to, this can have ramifications for his mindset on how to deal with the alien threat. (Personally, because so much of his inability to cope hinges on a feeling of helplessness, I believe he was released. If he escaped on his own power, that undercuts it, somewhat.)

Thematically-speaking, Bishop parallels both his own torturers and his own victims at the same time. He has perpetuated the cycle that traumatized him in the first place by trying to fight fire with fire. (In that vein, I don't think he's capable of understanding that, not seeing aliens as people in the first place, just dangers. Considering how deeply ingrained his trauma is in his worldview and actions, it would probably ruin him, if he were ever able to actually grasp it.)

Bishop and EPF are likely a commentary on the military of the time 03 was coming out. This can be something worth keeping in mind, when figuring out his greater themes in your story, though it can just as well be discarded if it doesn't fit.

Adding to that, Bishop has an extensive american military background. His skills and knowledge will reflect that.

Bishop also plays on and references a number of real-life alien conspiracies. It can be worth digging through conspiracy history to drum up ideas and themes, too.

The ethical and philosophical quandaries of Bishop's body-hopping and humanity tend to not hold too much weight, because Bishop, himself, doesn't seem to care.

If I think of more I'll certainly be adding on to the reblogs of this post! Or, if you have more thoughts, please feel free to add! If you're in the mood for more Bishop ramblings, that's practically most of this blog atm, but this post is a particular favorite. If you're interested in Fast Forward!Bishop, specifically, consider this post! (also read Taking Pawns. slipped in that self-promo, nice.)

#agent bishop #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #And man I still gotta make an analysis on 2012 Bishop #my man is so underrated #There are only a handful of fics out there that include him at ALL and for the most part I find he's blended with 03's characterization #Which takes away what makes him fun in his own right and muddies 03 Bishop's character basis imo #anyway I had this post on the backburner for a while and finally got the motivation to finish her up #And of course if ever there are more questions on characterizing him I'd be happy to help! I love rambling about this guy ad nauseum #oooh stray thought I should do one for Rat King too. Went through that guy's episodes recently theyre GREAT #I've also been very tempted to compile most of these posts into a big ol video essay. idk if I could pull it off but it sure is an idea

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chinomiko · 7 months

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hi! i know it must be kinga boring for you recive questions about castiel bc ppl are obsessed ober him for years but like the other person who asked you a few days ago, i follow you (and ply mcl) for like 10 years and ever since day one my fav boy has been tiel. till this day at the age of 22 he's my favorite and my comfort boy so i joke that he's not a fictional character anymore for me and that i know him personally at this point lol

with that being said, i bet you can imagine that over the years i've been elaborating his personality beyond what the game gives us but he's your boy, you created him therefore you know him and your word is canon, so i'd like to ask a few stuff!! nothing too big, dont worry but here we go.

tiel is an amazing songwriter and since he's very emotional not very good at express it (he does it a lot better now that he's an adult 🥹) i bet his lyricism is very deep and poetic so i have this headcanon that he at first wouldn't like taylor swift because obviously lol but then he payed attention to her lyrics and ends up basically being a swiftie since he likes her writing a lot. what you think about that?

and what kind of music crowstorm sings? like there are any bands that you listen and think "hey this would be in a crowstorm album!" (i have a playlist with this name btw lol). im probably wrong on this one but since this is my fav band i like to think that catfish and the bottlemen are the irl crowstorm, musically speaking

and the last one: another thing that gives me so much comfort is the lystiel friendship. not having present parents, being so closed off i know that lysander is such an important presence on tiel's life because he was basically the only close person he had (specially after the debrah fiasco); if lys didnt had taken the farm and went to college and bla bla bla do you think he would still be part of the band with castiel? im not sure if im mixing the canon with a fanfic i read a while ago (lol) but the band was more of a fun thing to lys, right? he liked writing most (i always imagined him getting into a literature degree or something like this). i also like to think that he helps tiel with lyrics at times, even if he's out of the band (in my head the canon is that they are best friends and pretty close till this day, i pretend lys never left our lives just like armin)

anyways sorry for this big ask 😭 i dont even know if you will read it all but if you do, thank you! and dont feel like you have to answer, i know its too much its just that mcl is my hyperfixation till this day like for real, i have a fanfic that i write still and i even plan on making it into a book sometime. except from the main characters (who is my oc) all the characters will be based on the game's ones :)

ilysm take care and stay hydrated!!

Hellow !

Aww thank you so much and for all your love for Castiel ^^

What a long ask, I'll try to answer in order.

Castiel being a swiftie. No sorry, I don't think he would be. If candy likes her, I'm pretty sure he would try to listen. Also he is an open minded person for sure, so I'm sure he would be curious to listen and study what all the hype is about, it could also help as some sort of far away inspiration, but I don't see him being a fan.

What kind of songs Crowstorm sings This is hard to answer because my musical knowledge is pretty limited and I'm sure I would miss on lot of potential groups or singers that would fit well. And it would require too much research time to have a real detailed and clear answer, but I still did check a bit and here is a little list of songs/groups that I think would have a fitting vibe for Crowstorm

City of the dead - Hollywood Undead The worst in me - bad omens Paranoid - I prevail Trauma Just pretend - Bad omens Ice Nine Kills - A grave mistake Catfish and the bottlemen sounds nice but I think its a bit too soft for what I imagine for Crowstorm.

What is his voice like I think something similar to this (not necessarily the song itself, just the voice. )

bonus, I think this song is so so fitting for Castiel's breakup song, I love it. Dial Tone - Catch your breath

Castiel and Lys friendship. It was'nt mentionned much in UL/LL because I didnt wish to bring too much drama by mentioning Lys when he was not there for the players, but of course Lys and Cast always kept in touch. It is very clearly mentionned in Lys' AL that they keep in touch, that Lys helps Castiel write songs and Cast also like to come to his farm to have a break and spend time together. You should play it if you havent, you'll have a good chunk of Cast and Lys friendship :) However yeah I can confirm that Lys would not like to do it serisouly and professionally, but he'll be all the way around to support and help Cast.

#chinomiko #my candy love #otome game #castiel #original character #canon lore #mcl

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mrspasser · 1 month

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Never gonna give you up 5+1

I don't think I ever posted this fanfic here, so I'm here to fix that.

Never was too soon for a repeat of tonight’s experience, Derek decided as he braced himself against the sharp corner. The wheels of the Jeep skidded on the gravel, making the back of the car slide out. There was no need for them to drive this fast, not anymore. Leftover adrenaline made for a heavy foot on the gas, apparently. The engine whined as they cut free of the forest, trading gravel for blacktop. Gradually they reduced speed, until they were driving at a pace well within the limits.

“Think you can hit play for me, big guy?” Stiles asked in an upbeat tone. “Without getting blood all over my iPod, if you can.”

The look Derek sent him was cutting, but Stiles was long since immune for any angry stare he received from the werewolf. With all his energy going into healing, Derek decided it wasn’t worth it to get into it with Stiles over something so small. He pressed his left hand against the flap of skin that was only loosely covering his ribs on his right side and reached out with his free hand to the battered iPod crammed into the hole that used to house the radio of the Jeep. The radio was one of the car parts that fell victim to the crash with the Kanima and with some help of Boyd Stiles had hooked up his iPod directly to the car’s speakers.

The Alpha werewolf didn’t bother to check what playlist it was, he just hit the large button in the middle and settled back into his seat, gritting his teeth against the pain the movement caused.

The sounds of an eighties synthesizer filled the car, drums coming in alternately from the left and right speaker, immediately followed by a peal of laughter from the car’s owner. Derek bit through the agony and pushed forward again, cutting off the music abruptly just when the lyrics started. Stiles didn’t say anything, though it took a minute before he stopped chuckling quietly.

When they got to the loft, Stiles followed him inside, although Derek hadn’t asked him to. He hadn’t told him not to either, which was probably why the teen did it. Not that Stiles bothered with doing what people told him to, not when it came to Derek. The boy was pack in all the ways that counted, except for heeding his Alpha’s commands.

Derek let himself fall on the threadbare couch, still holding his skin more or less in the right place to knit itself together again. Behind him, Stiles rummaged around in the kitchen, emerging a little while later with two bottles of water and a couple of energy bars. He dropped the food and one of the bottles on the couch next to the werewolf, easily within reach. Then he sat down on the armrest furthest from Derek, twisting the cap of his own bottle and gulping the contents down eagerly. The werewolf watched the boy’s Adams apple bop with each swallow, his eyes catching on the long line of his throat.

Stiles wiped his mouth and looked down at Derek, intelligent eyes roaming over the werewolf’s bloodied torso. “You going to be okay?” he asked, not really sounding like he needed an answer, so Derek didn’t give him one. “Thought so,” the boy confirmed anyway, and patted Derek’s shin twice as he got up. “I’m gonna give Roscoe a wash. I think there are bits of skin stuck to the passenger seat. Gross!”

“Gonna have to walk a little slower, big guy,” Stiles complained, sounding a little winded as he picked his way through the undergrowth a few paces behind Derek. He grunted dismissively, though he held his step a little anyway.

Derek might have wondered why he was always the one stuck with Stiles on a stake out, if the math wasn’t so easy. Being human, the boy was the weakest of the pack, physically speaking at least. And with Derek as Alpha and therefore strongest, it was only logical that they paired up. Besides, it wasn’t like Derek had his pick of people to go on stakeout with tonight. There wasn’t a clear threat, this was just Derek acting on a hunch. ‘Being paranoid’, Scott had said. ‘I’m not messing up my nails in the woods tonight’, was Erica’s reaction. Boyd had only told him to call when there was trouble. Derek was fully prepared to go alone tonight. It was his idea after all and he was pretty sure he could handle whatever he would encounter. Yet Stiles hadn’t let him. He didn’t offer to tag along, he just did.

When asked, the werewolf would say he hated being alone with Stiles. The boy was never not moving and only silent when sleeping. Scratch that, even asleep Stiles wasn’t silent. He was a source of constant movement, night or day, always in the periphery of Derek’s attention. It was impossible not to watch Stiles, even more so when they were alone.

Walking through the woods at night and trying to keep a low profile was also pretty much impossible with Stiles, a fact proved when Derek grabbed the boy’s elbow not for the first time that night to keep him upright. If it were up to him, he would’ve gladly let him faceplant in the leaves, but they were making enough noise as it was already.

“Do you think you could be any louder?” he hissed, shoving Stiles along the path.

“Do you think you could be any rougher?” Stiles threw back in a low voice, rubbing his hand over where Derek had grabbed his arm. He wouldn’t bruise, Derek hadn’t grabbed him that hard; chances were he was just sour about missing out on game night with Scott. He’d heard them talking about it yesterday, Stiles lamenting about him and Scott needing a boy’s night with pizza, energy drinks and playing video games in their underwear. Derek didn’t understand why Stiles would choose a night in the woods with him over that.

“Now what?” Stiles stopped at the ridge, looking out into the forest on the hill below them.

“Now we wait,” Derek answered, dropping down into a crouch and tugging the boy down with him. Stiles fell to his butt with a grunt, but pulled his legs under him a moment later, jostling Derek’s shoulder when he came up to his knees.

“You see anything?” Derek didn’t answer that, nor the next question: “Hear anything?”

Stiles rolled his eyes at the werewolf’s lack of communication and then shrugged his backpack off. He pulled the bag in front of him and opened up the zipper. At first Derek ignored the apple that was presented to him, but Stiles only shook it in emphasis until he took it.

For a few minutes, Stiles was as quiet as he ever got. Which meant that the sounds of him chewing on his own apple mixed in with the sounds of the forest.

When the humming started, Derek shut him up at first. It helped for a few minutes, but not long. Because the wind was in their favour, Derek gave up on shushing Stiles: it was easier to just tune him out and concentrate on the sounds that reached him from the forest.

It took a good while before the words showed up in his mind. Bits and pieces of song lyrics just floating around his brain, easy to ignore. It wasn’t until he caught himself starting to hum the same tune that he rounded on the boy next to him. “Damn it, Stiles!”

Stiles simply laughed softly. “It’s quite the earworm, isn’t it?”

“Give me a second, I’m just gonna… Yeah, I’ve got it all right here,” Stiles said through the phone, clicking around on his computer. “Whole list of it, actually. I’ll send you an email right now.”

Derek hung up the phone and grabbed the laptop from the coffee table. It was a refurbished laptop that Stiles had made him buy a few weeks ago, claiming that ‘no self-respectable Alpha in the twenty first century could go without, especially if they don’t want to say goodbye to their frigging flip phone’.

The mockery of his phone by his pack was getting old. The device maybe wasn’t as up to date as the other phones, but it held up in a fight and that was something Derek valued more over the use of the latest social media apps. However, contrary to popular belief, Derek wasn’t completely unaware of pop culture, which was why he immediately recognised the video for what it was.

It was hidden in the list of websites Stiles sent him. Derek was working his way through the links one by one, working up a steady appreciation of Stiles' research skills, when his laptop suddenly started playing music after he clicked the fourth link on the list.

He almost called Stiles to tell him off, but settled for aggressively closing down the browser window.

The other links were all normal, providing him with the information he asked for and then some.

“You want anything, hon?” The waitress directed the question to Scott, who placed his order of a large breakfast spread with an equally large smile. She wasn’t placated by it and Derek resigned himself to giving her an extra big tip for putting up with his raucous pack on her early morning shift.

“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse,” Stiles said to the table at large, patting his stomach.

“Should’ve ordered something else than bacon then,” Isaac deadpanned from across from him.

Stiles smiled impishly. “My love for bacon is strong, I can’t help it.”

“Can you make bacon from horses?” Scott wondered out loud and that set off a whole discussion about the consummation of horse meat.

Derek let it all wash over him, leaning back in his chair. His pack was fine, all were whole, or whole again at least. Isaac was wearing a track shirt that Stiles had lying in the back of his Jeep, replacing his own shirt that was ripped to pieces. There was blood on his jeans still, Derek could smell it from across the table, but it wasn’t visible against the dark fabric and the wounds were all healed. Erica sported a similar situation, also with mostly invisible bloodstains on her dark clothes, as did Boyd. The blood wasn’t all theirs. Normally, Derek would have told them to go home, wash up, but this Denny’s was closer and growling stomachs had won over the urge to get cleaned up. Or rather, Stiles had strongarmed him into buying his pack breakfast, saying that it was good for bonding and empty stomachs alike.

Not bothering to get in on the conversation, Derek let his eyes glide over his pack members, ensuring himself once again that everyone was in one piece. He got stuck on Stiles, distracted by the way his T-shirt pulled taut when he moved his arms behind his back to stretch. Derek hadn’t seen the article of clothing before, it had been hidden underneath a grey striped hoodie; he guessed that was ruined too. It was a black T-shirt with a jumble of letters and symbols on the front. It looked like computer code, or something equally confusing. Undoubtedly it was some pop culture reference, or a bad pun. He didn’t care enough to ask for the meaning of it, yet his eyes kept returning to the text on the shirt, even after their food arrived.

He recognised a word in the top line from the abbreviations the pack used in their text messages; sometimes it was as if they were allergic to vowels. The letters ‘nvr’ probably spelled never. And below that, was the word ‘annog’, which could be a made up word or it was simply ‘gonna’ spelled backwards. Then it said ‘forgive’, subtract four, and on the bottom something with ‘me’, ‘you’ and ‘splitting soup’. It was complete nonsense, that’s what it was.

Eventually, Stiles caught him looking. “You like the shirt, big guy?” He took a bite of a strip of bacon, cocking his head as he waited for Derek to answer.

“It’s ridiculous. It doesn’t even make sense.”

Stiles grinned. “Sure it does. You just have to figure it out.”

Next to him, Boyd took a look at Stiles’ shirt and scoffed. “Isn’t that joke ancient by now?”

“Classics never go out of style,” Stiles argued, pointing the strip of bacon at Derek’s second. “Besides, I like it. It’s got meaning.”

“Like your stripper mom’s T-shirt?” Erica asked snidely. “Because that one’s just rubbish.”

“Nah,” Stiles smirked and then he winked at Derek. “This one has a better roll to it, doesn’t it, oh Alpha mine?”

It clicked for Derek in that moment and he let out a long suffering sigh. “I should rip your throat out…”

“With your teeth, I know,” Stiles finished for him, happily munching on another strip of bacon.

Up until now Derek had always thought that brownies were something to eat, not annoying little creatures to kill. Or, well, that’s not exactly true. He knew they were mythical creatures, but he’d thought they were just that. Mythical, not real. And how bad could they be if they ended up being real? Pretty damn annoying, it turned out. They didn’t look like much, but they had razor sharp teeth and equally sharp nails that cut through clothes and skin like miniature knives through butter. And like a wolf pack, their strength was in numbers. However, he refused to lose to something small and annoying, so, in the end, the wolf pack won.

Derek looked around at his pack, who were panting and bloody, but otherwise okay. Erica was frantically raking her fingers through her hair, cursing angrily at the loose hairs she brushed out with it. “Those fuckers cut a chunk of my hair!”

Boyd diligently looked at the problem area, declaring it wasn’t so bad. Erica huffed in disdain. “No offence, honey, but you haven’t got a hair on your head. What the hell do you pretend to know about it?”

She turned to the other available girl, Allison, and let the hunter fuss over her hair. Derek was long past the point of wondering how the hell that happened. His pack included a hunter, a banshee and a former kamina, he'd learned to not question it anymore.

He patted his pockets, routinely checking for his car keys. Those he found, though they threatened to fall through a tear in his jeans any minute. He came up short when feeling around for his phone. The pocket on that side was cut clean through, empty of its contents. Derek rumbled in annoyance, getting a quick inquiring glance from Boyd.

"Lost my phone," he explained quickly, already stalking back to the area where he'd been for most of the fight. It was where Stiles was sitting, sagged out against a tree and scrolling through something on his phone. The boy was holding the cuff of his sleeve pressed gingerly against a small cut above his lip, otherwise he seemed fine and Derek didn't have to worry about him.

Sniffing out his phone turned out to be harder than he thought. The ground was covered in quickly disintegrating brownie bodies and while he could appreciate the lack of clean up they would have to do, the smell of decay and blood covered up the other smells in the area.

Derek planted his hands on his hips with a huff, scanning the forest floor around him. His phone was black and pretty small: it could be anywhere. He glanced at the smartphone in Stiles' hand, with its shiny firetruck red cover. Obnoxious and flashy as it was, it would be pretty easy to find.

"What's up, big guy?" Stiles asked from his spot by the tree. "Looking for something?"

"Dropped my phone," Derek sighed, already making plans in his head to drop by the mall in the next town over to get a new phone. He wondered if they still sold flip phones.

"Oh wait, I'll call you so we can hear it ring," Stiles said, clambering to his feet and moving his fingers over his touch screen.

Sure enough, moments later there was a song playing, a few meters to his left. "That's not my ringtone," Derek said sharply, his eyebrows climbing up to his hairline when he recognised the song.

“It is when I call,” Stiles answered gleefully, watching as Derek went off in the direction of the sound. The warm baritone of the singer was cut off when the werewolf bent down to retrieve his phone, buried half underneath a dead brownie. He wiped it on his jeans and then flipped it open.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Stiles called out.

“Figuring out how to delete this ringtone,” Derek bit out, tapping the keys forcefully.

“Hey, no, why would you do that?” Stiles ambled closer and for a moment Derek forgot to tune out his scent. It was a habit that his mother had taught him when he was young; with their keen sense of smell and hearing there was little privacy in a pack: it was common courtesy to try and tune the others out as much as possible in normal, day to day interactions. Derek did it with his own pack too, as much out of self-preservation as in consideration of their privacy. His pack consisted of teenagers, they were generally a whirlwind of strong emotions and unwarranted arousal. He would get whiplash if he’d be able to scent it all. Right now, Stiles smelled of disappointment and vague embarrassment.

Derek frowned. “Because it’s a cheesy song. A joke.”

The smell of embarrassment got a little stronger. “It’s our thing,” Stiles said with a shrug that wasn’t as casual as he probably hoped. “It’s our song, sourwolf” he tacked on with a smirk, also a bit strained.

“It’s a love song,” Derek said slowly, puzzled, his fingers stilling on the phone keys. It wasn’t like he knew how to change the ringtone anyway. Before now he didn’t even know you could add personalised ringtones to a caller.

“Yeah, well…” Stiles cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. He was also getting quite red in the face, yet still Derek couldn’t look away from him. “It’s the sentiment that counts.”

“The sentiment,” Derek repeated, still confused by the situation.

“The sentiment, you know, the message? The idea the song conveys?”

“I know what sentiment means, Stiles,” he said, more gently than he usually was with the teen. “But still… a love song.”

“I know that,” said Stiles, still with red cheeks. “And I know that we,” he gestured with his hand between them, “are not… that.”

Derek pressed down on the sudden urge to ask what exactly they were, if not that.

“I just think that, it’s just,” Stiles floundered and then he shrugged somewhat defeated. “It’s something that you need to hear, every now and then.” A silence fell between them, one loaded with something Derek couldn’t quite figure out. Not yet.

Stiles took a deep breath and held out his hand. “Give me that, I’ll change it back to your normal, boring ringtone.”

Derek shook his head and put his phone in his jacket pocket, a pocket that was still in one piece. With a nudge to Stiles' shoulder he started to walk away, towards the spot where they parked their cars. Stiles followed him, smelling content and happy, with his lips pressed together to hide a smile.

Derek hadn’t known he had a first aid kit in his bathroom. Yet there it was, neatly tucked away in the cabinet underneath the sink. The rectangle box felt heavy, like it was stuffed full with all kinds of items a self-healing werewolf would never need.

“Why do I have this?” Derek asked as he walked back into the room, knowing for sure he never bought it, so someone else had to. Someone named Stiles, probably.

“Because you have humans in your pack,” Stiles answered from the sofa, making grabby hands at the kit before Derek was even close enough. He took the box, putting it in his lap and opening it immediately. “There should be ice packs in the fridge,” Stiles directed without looking up.

And indeed there were. Derek grabbed two and a towel, making his way back to Stiles. He carefully sat down by the foot that the boy had put up on the sofa. His sneaker was already off, but he still had his sock on. The werewolf carefully placed the ice packs on both sides of Stiles’ swollen ankle, wrapping them in place with the towel.

Meanwhile, Stiles was wrapping his arm up. It was his lower left arm, making it not too hard for him to do himself; the bandage was a little wonky, but it’d do for now. It was just a large scrape anyway, the bandage was mostly to keep the wound clean.

That left the cut on his eyebrow. Derek watched Stiles feeling around the cut with his fingers of his one hand, while holding a butterfly bandage with his other. It wouldn’t work, but he waited until Stiles grimaced and locked eyes with him, a crooked, bloody butterfly bandage still in hand.

Derek leaned forward and picked a clean bandage from the kit. “This one, right?”

Stiles nodded and kept his eyes on Derek when he scooted closer until he was seated next to the boy’s hip. The cut was already cleaned and disinfected, all that was left was to place the bandage. Maybe two, Derek thought, as he eyed the cut critically. Stiles had said it wasn’t deep enough to warrant stitches and he’d gotten hurt often enough to know, Derek presumed. It didn’t sit easy with him, though. He didn’t like to see his pack get hurt, especially the humans because they didn’t heal as quickly as the werewolves did. And, he didn’t like seeing Stiles get hurt.

Derek carefully placed the butterfly bandage across the cut. Stiles smelled of blood and pain, though the boy assured him the latter was mostly from his ankle. Spraining an ankle hurt, Derek knew from experience, even though for him the pain was always short lived. Stiles closed his eyes as Derek put a second bandage in place and covered them with a larger bandaid. “There, that should do it.”

“Thanks,” Stiles said softly as Derek put everything back in the kit and quickly tidied away the mess.

“Want to watch a movie?” The question came somewhat unexpected for Stiles, yet he smiled and nodded quickly. Derek tossed him the remote so he could select a movie from the streaming services the boy had set up himself a while back and went into the kitchen to grab them something to drink.

When he came back Stiles had a superhero movie lined up, one that Derek hadn’t seen yet but he knew Stiles had. He pulled the coffee table closer to the sofa so Stiles could reach his drink and then sat down, carefully placing Stiles' injured foot in his lap. The boy’s heartbeat ticked up and his cheeks coloured red, yet he didn’t say anything. Derek nodded for him to press play on the movie and gently eased his hand a little ways up Stiles’ pant leg, just above the ice packs, to make skin contact and leach away his pain.

“Thanks for coming back,” Stiles said quietly over the sounds of the opening scene. “And taking care of me.”

Derek glanced at him, at the way Stiles held his eyes glued to the tv screen to avoid looking at him directly. He waited a beat for Stiles to take a sip of his soda. “That goes without saying, Stiles,” he emphasised then. “I wasn’t gonna run around and desert you.”

Stiles made a choking sound and sprayed his drink everywhere. Derek kept his foot in place while the boy flailed and laughed, wiping the soda from his face with his sleeve. “Damn it, Derek! It came out of my nose!”

You can also find this fic here on Wattpad or on A03.

#sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #teen wolf #teen wolf fanfic #5 + 1 fic #fanfiction #ilse writes fanfiction #crack fic taken seriously #never gonna give you up #I'll never get tired of this song #derek x stiles #alpha derek hale #stiles is derek's number one supporter #derek has a flip phone

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just-an-enby-lemon · 6 months

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While I see the Fears in the TMA verse just as empty eldrish creatures that change and corrupt it's avatars but are also influenciated and leaded by said avatars (enters a rant about how Jonah is also an avatar and therefore we actually don't really know as much about who he was before the Eye except for deeply curious, workaholic, "progressive" (by victorian standarts), a fan of myths and had a harem of mostly victorian gentleman that rly wanted that dick) when I'm reading any fanfic that it's just a bit less horrifying and tragic than the show itself I just imagine the Eye as Evil Eyeball Toddler who can't stop asking questions but it's a toddler so doesn't understand the complex answers just memorizes it. Now the more silly or fluffy the fic the more I think about it. The classic "Jon gets leitnered into a cat" is a special fave of mine because I can imagine Jon's special guest the paranoid eyeball partially living in his head getting really shocked by it because "it never had a cat as an avatar before! :)" and trying to make Jon more catlike while still Jon so it can learn more about cats without losing it's avatar. It's just "wow I thought there was no new thing just newish old things but this is really new new cool cool cool" while Jon is "shit I'm a cat wtf + existencial dread + fucking Leitner + Martin kinda cute? + how do I get back".

Elias knows that something is wrong - tho he thinks is something way more nefarius somehow- even before Looking at cat's Jon or Knowing because for a second the Eye blinked (as a surprised toddler does) and now he just has a weird enthusiam over cats. Elias just decides to adopt a cat and Peter is "no pets, just loneliness" so they divorce again. Elias is just surpernaturally hipped because the Eye keeps being happy in his head.

#elias bouchard #jonah magnus #jon sims #tma #the magnus archives #the eye #ceaceless watcher #the beholding

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iolypse · 1 year

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primarily english speaking qsmp members as D&D characters because I can't help but fuse both of my current fixations together

Philza — species for this one was tricky, class and subclass a little harder, but I ultimately decided on aasimar ranger (horizon walker). kept trying to pick between aasimar and air genasi, almost put air genasi because I felt like qfoolish fit aasimar better, but they can both be aasimar it's fine. by the time I finish writing this, foolish might not even be an aasimar anymore, im still thinking. regardless, qphil has always been a bit of a tactician and a bowman, hasnt he? classic traits of a ranger. from there, it felt like horizon walker was the only subclass that fit. protecting from otherworldly threats, preserving life and other planes. yeppp sounds like this paranoid motherfucker right here.

BadBoyHalo — now that's a tiefling if I've ever seen one. class is a little more complicated. I've deliberated between paladin and warlock before eventually settling on paladin, making him a tiefling paladin (ancients). I don't have to explain the tiefling part (have you seen his everything?), but the paladin part could use it. we're yet to really see qbad make any real deals with any powerful forces, so that took out the warlock part for me. I wanted to make sure he had at least a little bit of magic though (c'mon), so I immediately went to paladin, and it worked out. he's a dedicated man! he'll make a promise and he'll fuckin stick to it. I debated between devotion and ancients after that, but devotion tends to have a more lawful side, which ended with me choosing ancients. they fight the darkness because they love life, plain and simple, and you're dull if you can't see how much this dude loves life.

FitMC — alright, I'm sorry, I had to do it, but this is a human fighter (rune knight) right here. I simply couldnt see him as anything other than human, and rogue and artificer didn't fit since there's other characters that fit those classes so much better, so fighter it was. still, qfit has a lot of cool gadgets and bits and bobs, and I wanted to recognize that in this adaptation of him, so I decided to show that through the rune knight subclass. rune knight fighters can do a lot of cool shit with their runes, enhancing pretty much anything they put their mind to. probably some shit he found scrawled in the horrors of 2b2t and decided to study.

Foolish — this one was hard! the fuck is this guy? I instinctively thought aasimar, but I already made qphil an aasimar, so I played around with different types of genasi and then goliaths, even minotaurs just trying to find something that fit the semi-inhuman sorta innately magical, physically strong being vibes. I think aasimar fit best, so then it was a matter of class. hes a builder! he builds shit. that's what qfoolish does. but he is NOT a mechanic and therefore not an artificer, not musical enough to be a bard, not angry enough to be a barbarian, so what the fuck is he? took a LOT of fucking around, but eventually I remembered the college of creation exists, and I felt it fit well enough, making him an aasimar bard (creation). he draws his power from his builds— he inspires with sight, not song. it's a unique take on a bard, but I've seen some awesome chef bards, so I think this works just fine. he's an architect bard.

Slimecicle — this one was FUN. 100% that's a fucking plasmoid. he's a goopy guy! then I experimented with different bard and rogue classes, thought maybe warlock for his deal with demon rubius, and then decided i couldn't disrespect the juanaflippa song and said fuck it, he can be a bard. again in correlation with the song, I went with valor, since he's telling her great story through the lyrics, keeping her memory alive with it. I DID consider spirits, however, since he actually managed to bring juanaflippa back, however briefly. still, I felt valor fit the bill just a little better. he's a plasmoid bard (valor).

JaidenAnimations — ohhh this one took some thought. I wanted her to be fairly humanoid while still having some subtle unusual traits, and elf was considered but it felt too regal. I almost considered kenku for how she tends to repeat what other people say, but it wasn't right. thought I'd try something a little strange, and I ended up with shifter! specifically wildhunt. class was just as difficult— she wasnt going to be any primarily martial classes, so that cut out a bunch, and she's not really faithful or super devoted, so that took out paladin, warlock, and cleric, and eventually I narrowed it down to sorcerer, picking aberrant mind for their mystery and influence on others. being the only woman in an island full of gay twinks is tough, man. she's a shifter sorcerer (aberrant mind).

Wilbur — half-elf bard (eloquence). this one came pretty quick to me, actually. the bard part is more than obvious, subclass picked for the number of times qwilbur's casually convinced other people to just go with the bit. he's a man of words, and he weaves them well. he can be damn persuasive, mixing in genuine arguments with small white lies, all while playing your heart strings just right. half-elf is almost entirely vibes honestly— human was too bland, elf too spicy, so we met in the middle.

DanTDM — this dude's been gone since the very fucking beginning pretty much. I almost want to make him a rogue just for that, but man, he's the diamond minecart, alright? I grew up watching him. it'd be a disservice not to make him an artificer. from there, alchemist best suited the vibes, since he never really did much of anything machinery-related. he is a human artificer (alchemist).

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rawliverandgoronspice · 9 months

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I can kind of see why Hyrule reads as imperialistic to you in totk, but why do they read white? Sonia is brown and rauru is a black goat. What makes the difference between them and Ganondorf so bad?

Hey, thanks for the ask!

So... I have an answer, and it's kind of in layers. So I hope it's fine if I kind of go on Journey TM where I figure out my own feelings on the topic alongside you, the person reading! It's long! Kind of meandery! Sorry!!

Also, I had written a great version of this reply to this ask that Tumblr fucking ate and I'm furious about it, so this version is slightly more annoyed as a baseline because of Tumblr and not the ask itself. But I got stubborn and decided I would rewrite the whole thing tonight. So.

Here we go.

Layer One: My Basic and Unfiltered Gut Reaction

My first, potentially unwarranted gut-level reaction would be: I kind of think it's a stretch to consider them POC-coded. Sonia gives me more tanned Ariana Grande vibes than anything else, but that's... I mean, I'm aware that there are brown people with lushious blonde hair and blue eyes out there, that race as USA-infused Internet understands it is Complicated (I'm half-brazilian, and even though I'm very very white and don't consider myself biracial but bicultural, I had people discussing my ethnicity to my face a non-zero amounts of time, including quite recently, including in my own family! so I super get that it's more complicated than what I make it out to be here). But given vibes don't count as an argument, I completely get + accept if that reading on her ethicity is therefore dismissed. She could very well be brown. Fine by me.

(so, I feel like I have to add this borderline-conspiratory reason why I'm suspicious of her skin color being considered a factor here, which can 100% be dismissed but I still want to bring it to the table: I've been to several meetings and heard about many instances where "diverse traits" are being handed over to characters with the explicit purpose of using that diversity as shields against deeper criticisms of core aspects of the storytelling instead of fixing the storytelling itself, and honestly it could very well be the case here. I really hope it's just the team thinking Sonia would be prettier with a darker skin tone, because her design is genuinely lovely and I really like it, wish she didn't die like immediately and had a character arc of her own, but. Imagine the kneeling scene with two very white ladies and everything else, etc. It might be overly paranoid of me, but I can't help but squint a little bit in this specific instance, especially since the biracial trait here is so toned-down that it's barely there and barely committed to anything. Which would also make a good argument against this suspicion too tbh! Anyway. Just wanted to bring that up so you get the whole picture of where my brain is at.)

Rauru... Okay. Here's the thing: I can't unsee The Rauru. The original one I mean (and his Skyward Sword Gaebora counterpart), aka: the White Patriarch of all times.

(this has nothing to do with anything but Link's little recoil animation here is so funny to me, like he looks so shocked and his nose is so pointy)

I do think that removing the origins of this character from his DNA for TotK is kind of overly convenient when discussing this iteration, especially when his role in this game is basically a mixture of OoT Rauru and the Unnamed King of Hyrule (and every king of Hyrule that came after). I mean, okay sure maybe the Unnamed, Unseen King of Hyrule wasn't white but... it's obviously not true, right? And while I understand this is a different iteration of that character, many characters in the series maintain their base ethnicity across different reimaginings (even Blue Pig Ganon remains a gerudo at heart post OoT, at least in the way we keep on understanding him). And beyond this, given the fact that Rauru retains this energy of a Founding Father (in the largest possible sense), I feel that, at the very least, that patriarchal energy is extremely important to his character to a core degree.

But even so, yes. Rauru is now indeed a Goat Man. Not only is he a Goat Man, but he dresses in ways that are very inspired by mesoamerican cultures; undeniably so. So that would make him at least mesoamerican-coded, right?

I mean... I guess? I guess. Sure. But. I have now to introduce the Layer 2 of my argumentation, which is that...

Layer Two: Zonai Culture is Hylian Coded

So. Pretty bold claim I know. Let me explain.

Now I certainly do not want to say that mesoamerican civilizations are not *everywhere* in the aesthetic inspiration for the zonai culture in Tears of the Kingdom; I'm sure these real life references are overflooding the moodboards, from the color palet to the symbols to the artstyle, the costumes and the buildings. It's the main way the game communicates zonai-ness to us the player. And it's great! I wish they had went even harder in that direction (I think there's even pretty dramatic differences between the zonai ruins on the surface, much more interesting imo, than what was done with the actual zonai architecture at its peak).

But now, I will ask a question that I asked myself often while playing. What is zonai culture, beyond the feathers and the indented patterns and the swirls and the dangly bits? What characterizes it? I would say that zonai civilization is primarily interested in automation, technology, mining to develop said technology, and things that float in the sky. Beyond this, and from the limited perspective the game gives us through Rauru and Mineru, we see a society ruled by a patriarch (neutral term, it is just patriarchal in nature), married to a woman who is a priestess and doesn't seem to hold an equal amount of power (she doesn't speak as much, seems content to handle the religious side of things), who values collaboration and engineering prowesses, has an army, servants, robot servants, administrates other races through, to be docile and go the game's way, collaborativeness... It's Hyrule. It's just Hyrule, except older and with a different paintjob; but at heart, the style of society upheld by Rauru is very (eerily?) similar to what we get to know in the TotK/BotW era. Actually, this version of Hyrule seems extraordinarily similar to the Hyrule we get to see in BotW pre-Calamity: replace the zonai technology with the sheikah's, and what's the difference --except that this later version of Hyrule isn't trying to pass itself off as perfect? Zelda doesn't experience any kind of culture shock. Even the language seems to be basically the same. It is Hyrule, because it is. It's the origins of the kingdom. This is the whole point of the zonais: being that familiar thing that we know and love, except more pristine and more glorious and more mysterious so we can be sad when it gets destroyed.

So is it aesthetically inspired by mesoamerican cultures? Yes. Does it evoke specific details about said culture? The way politics and religion interconnect perhaps (unless we consider Rauru coming from the gods as such, but it's nooot super specific and not really elaborated upon)? What that culture valued, or what we assume it once valued? Cultural shortcuts we tend to make with these cultures, for better or for worse? I may be extremely uncultured here, and if that's the case I apologize, but I never really saw any of the aspects highlighted as the core pillars of the zonais commonly associated with either mesoamerican ancient civilizations, or current living native decendants of these civilizations. The biggest connexion or shortcut I see is the "mysterious ancient advanced civilization", which is pretty vague and was honestly more convincing in BotW.

Then of course, it doesn't invalidate that connection. But now, as a point of comparaison, to see what happens when Zelda takes active steps in coding one of their fantasy races... Let's take a look at the gerudos, shall we?

(Urbosa appreciation break. She's just so freakin cool look at her goooo!!! okay now we can keep going.)

I have said my whole spiel about the gerudos about a bajillion times now so I will try to make it quick. My tl;dr is: gerudos were always meant to be culturally disruptive. It's their whole point in the Zelda series. I won't rehash the whole thing about the crescent moon, the orientalism etc, but I think it's important to remember that they are meant to be considered foreign in a way no other Zelda race ever is. What I mean by this is, if we return to OoT: they are the only race hostile to Hyrule enough to not only consider and carry out an invasion, but to forbid entrance to their territory if you are not one of them. They have a different (apparenly evil-looking) god and their ears are rounded when everyone else is some sort of elf, their script is different, their cultural values are different, it's a weird semi-matriarchy where the man-king's occasional patriarchy has a very different social role than the king of Hyrule even if we don't get to see all the details... Won't return on the thievery and the 90s islamophobic kick of that time period, but the gerudos were very obviously crafted to be culturally deviant to the Hylian norm; their difference so great that getting accepted by them is an actual fighting and infiltration challenge. And even though they are much friendlier in TotK/BotW, they are still, by far the most innaccessible and different race out of all the rooster of, and it's worth mentioning, fish-people, bird-people and rock-people. They are the only one with their own language, their own strict rules that oppose your freedom as a player, a series of side-quests that directly address the subject of culture clash and differences; and, even then, they still parallel the real life western fantasy about the Orient TM (even more-so in TotK I would say, which I didn't love): the locked-in harem foreign men are forbidden to enter. This core idea is so entrenched that it becomes gameplay.

When it comes to Ganondorf, the parallel remains, more present than ever: in that game he gets to embody the foreign, cruel, brutal, cunning, manipulative, uncomfortably feminine at times, envious, physically intimidating, oppressive Man of the Desert in a long tradition of Men from the Desert and the rich legacy of literature and movies that portray them. It's not new to TotK, to be very clear: but TotK did double-down on the trope at the cost of Ganondorf's specificity as a character instead of questioning the trope that birthed him the way the series had tried to do in the past (even TP wasn't that bad, doing away with a lot of the baggage altogether --for better and for worse).

So to me... saying that zonais are mesoamerican-coded, in a world where we simply do not actively interact with these cultures all that much anymore (not at all to minimize the very real oppression of their descendants and the extreme and sickening violence their ancestors were met with to be extremely clear --I'm just saying that the violence wouldn't have worldwide cultural resonance in the same way and I don't think would have much reality in Japan unless, again, I'm saying dumb things and in that case please do correct me), or the extremely mild and non-invested way Zelda handled these cultures (to me it's much more costume than coding), positively too (good!), and comparing them to the active coding of the gerudos (and especially Ganondorf) as a means to equalize them as "basically the same thing" feels... a little off to me.

But! Now we're getting to the last layer!!

(you have no idea how long I searched for this gif, I typed "Ganondorf kneeling" in the gif search, like a fool, and parsed through much, much horniness to finally find my little dude anyway layer 3!!!)

Layer Three: It Isn't What Actually Matters Now Is It (at least according to me, the person writing this post)

Honestly, I don't really care whether Rauru and Sonia are white-coded or not. They could be, they could not be, cool by me either way. I don't really care if the zonai culture is meant to stand-in for mesoamerican cultures for Real for Sure or not, and heavily doubt it was done to increase diversity (otherwise Rauru wouldn't be, like, a Goat-Man but just a brown man). I do appreciate the visual diversity of the cast of NPCs, that hylians can look like a whole number of people and it's really cool Hyrule is moving into that direction instead of being very typecast into a sort of Japanese-ish representation of western middle ages/fantasy/fairy tale thing.

But at heart, what bothers me between this whole dynamic has less to do with whom is coded as whom than the fact that this game twisted itself into knots to tell a very suspiciously clean story about its complicated world and complicated history, and I feel like it's completely fine to ask for more than the bare minimum of visual representation and question the way these characters get to interact with each other and how their real life struggles are meaningfully talked about in the worlds Nintendo spend millions crafting? Sometimes, what they do is already great! Sometimes it's half-great! Most of the time, it could be so much better --especially when some of these subjects have been talked about to death for over 25 years (sorry to beat that dead horse one more time btw)

At the end of the day, the story itself is strange for many reasons. The power dynamic between the characters is attempting to be several things at once; maybe it's not on purpose, but either way, the world TotK paints is a strange one that only holds itself together if we accept to take it at face value. Which we don't have to.

And to me, TotK felt particularly shallow in that specific department of representation due to the whole... Imperialist Vibes thing (the other ask about this is queue'd, it's coming!), which nullified a lot of these efforts for me. It's not only about who's represented, but how they are represented as well, and, very importantly, why.

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kwillow · 5 months

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What traits do the people in theos choosen few have?

Ngl theo definitely seems like he'd be the kind of guy to enjoy quietly spending time with someone where you're both in the same room but doing different things, but like no talking, no contact, just in each other's presence

I'm answering this one a bit out of the context of Amaranthine specifically because it got me thinking about all the various people Theo's gotten close to in all his incarnations as a character over the past too-many years. Not all of these characters are in his "current" story, but the through-line of his desired traits in a "chosen one" are there nonetheless. He's developed a diverse set of friends that don't have too much in common at first blush. But there are a few commonalities!

As established, Theo is extremely paranoid and has been burned by people many times before, which is one of his many barriers to getting close to others. A person often needs to have a quality that makes them feel more "safe" to him in order for him to stop seeing them as a potential enemy. Most often, this trait is "innocence" or "naïveté," or put in another sense, being so stupid Theo can't possibly imagine them trying to betray him. In one AU (Fallout), he developed weird friendships with three people (Jack, Frank and Dwight) because he thought they were all incredibly dumb and utterly clueless and therefore anything kind they did for him was probably genuine. In another roleplay I did with him, he very quickly developed a bond (and very one-sided infatuation) with a blind woman. She literally couldn't judge him on appearances, so he felt less defensive around her.

He tends to feel even more guarded around men compared to women for various reasons (daddy issues, bad school experiences, often more physically threatening to a little guy like him, feeling the primal urge to battle for dominance, so on), so it's theoretically easier for him to become close to women. At least, it's harder for him to start off on the complete wrong foot with a woman than he can with a man, where he takes a look at a random fellow and just decides he's a "bad sort" and cannot be convinced otherwise. That said, he can get close to fellas and he absolutely can learn to loathe a woman, as Hyden and (eventually) Alex could attest.

Hyden gets around the paranoia by being someone who Theo thought was dead for hundreds of years. It's safe to idolize a dead man because he'll never hurt you. Of course, Hyden isn't dead, but Theo already developed his imaginary bond with Hyden-as-historical-figure before he found that out, so Hyden got to fast-track the Theo friendship process.

He also thrives off of being people's protector (which is kind of hard as an asthmatic little person whose main form of exercise is lifting heavy books off the shelf, but he tries). The easiest way to forge a connection with him is to make him happen to stand between you and someone who strikes him as a "bully." Yes, like many men who would dare to say "milady," he is a white knight in pinstriped armor. It is very, VERY hard for him to resist the urge to defend someone he's been made to feel a sense of responsibility for, even if his more cynical side is telling him to just leave someone to their fate. Of course, that's all very noble until he ends up resolutely defending an evil warlock from the people whose lives were destroyed by evil warlock magic.

Theo also isn't someone who really grew up having those things called "friends." He tends to have trouble conceptualizing what a relationship between peers is even supposed to be like. Therefore, he tends to shirk his "equals" and instead is unconsciously more drawn to people he considers either above or below himself in station, intelligence, age etc., as that gives him more of an idea of how he's supposed to behave. He tends to seek out relationships he can imagine to mirror familial bonds (replacement parental figures or "wards") or mythologized dynamics from fantasy novels (handmaidens and feudal lords) because those are the dynamics he's familiar with and feels he can fulfill the duties of, more or less. (That said, he prefers people "below" him in almost every circumstance due to insecurity reasons.) If given enough time, he can ease out of those roles and into a more balanced connection, though.

ALL THAT SAID, none of this is a guarantee. Someone could be a completely innocent, harmless little peasant waif who gets beaten up by burly football players on his doorstop every day and he could still just slam the door and yell at them to stop annoying him with all that racket. In the end, excepting rare impulses of charity, he's a deeply unpleasant and misanthropic man driven by irrational pseudo-logic and unstable moods - you kind of just have to be there at the right time to catch him when his rotten little heart is open.

FINALLY, as for enjoying parallel relaxation as quality time, I'd say that's his "default" mode of enjoying people's company. But he can learn to enjoy more energetic ways of bonding with people (maybe a little too much... he can have some serious thrill-seeking issues if exposure to enough excitement brings them out). As much as he'd insist he could only tolerate another person if they have a taste for opera and quiet reflection, I think he could really get into a monster truck rally if he'd let himself get in the mood for it.

#some aspects of his character aren't really visible in amaranthine (yet) but they're still there and I like to ramble about them #SORRY FOR WORDS WORDS WORDS AGAIN HAHA #i have a conciseness problem #especially when it comes to my imaginary friends #asks #theo

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bluarlequinno · 2 months

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FNAF MOVIE OPINION (after like 5 months Ik)

I'm back on my FNAF bullshit, but I always come back to FNAF eventually (pun intended or maybe not, take it as you want)

I know a lot of the fandom liked the movie, but honestly I hate to lie to myself and pretend like the movie was any good, look it's FNAF, I didn't expect it to be good, because it's really hard to adapt something so bizarre and mostly build off of collective delusional and derangement creative mashups, BUT, I still felt that it could have done so much better and I wanna talk about some of my opinions, of course as always it's an opinion and it tends to be subjective so yk, don't take it as an attack if you as a FNAF fan liked the movie

I kinda came around as to why I hated how they handled the animatronics in the movie lately, yeah they were great like visually wise, but how they handled them narratively and within the horror factor was... Extremely disappointing in my opinion, and now I kinda see why, at least in my humble perspective.

I think, a big part of why they give up such uncanny unsettling eerie vibes in the FNAF games (at least the ogs) it's because of the fact WE NEVER SEE THEM MOVE, we are just told and vaguely hinted at the idea that they might be alive, that things have happened, and they have done something, news, past events, etc, with out that it falls flat, in the games, we are left totally clueless unsure if they are or not moving, or if we are the ones going delusional, if the murders are related, the knowledge that corpses are inside or at least the suspicion of, etc.

The movie on the other hand, is too bright in my opinion, colors feel off, like it doesn't give that, dirty, inhuman, unclean, old and clearly malnourished pizzeria, it doesn't make you feel like you are gonna be sick just by being near those greasy old dirty and dry blood stained and who knows what else animatronics, it also shows us the animatronics actually move like some sort of cyborg, changing essentially where the terror of FNAF even comes from, the whole point is that you didn't actually see them move until they are up on your face jumpscaring you, it's kinda the point, and if you do see them move, it's barely crumps of like subtle hand movements or eye twitching or smt that is not that cyborg..y, like the point is that the kids are in those suits and therefore are trying to move them how they can, so when in the movie you actually see them move on the brightness of day in bright color and daytime it feels ... Just really fucking lame and boring, they just feel like your typical scary robots.

The scary factor wasn't them being murder robots, it was that those childlike machines had weird smells and where strangely uncanny and barely moved but somehow managed to make you feel like there was something there, that in the end there were corpses (who mind you were mentioned in the movie but like never seen and kinda forgotten about??? Like hello?)

So if they do make a second movie PLEASE have a clever use of color, ambient building, and DON'T SHOW THEM MOVING, let the protagonist (or player) question their sanity, are they really alive? Or are we just being paranoid, focus more on the smell the robots have, the stains, the texture, the weird unsettling feeling, make the pizzeria darker, dirtier, grayer, older (or well depends a lot on the plot and pizzeria and timeline they will handle).

I have a lot more of criticism on the movie, but I felt this needed to be said because the animatronics are the most essential characteristic of well FNAF, and in my opinion how they were handled was really bad, they didn't scare a bit, they made me feel so much like embarrassment I swear, it felt like a YouTube sketch, which has way more effort honestly.

I think another error was not treating the characters like animatronics, I understand not sticking into the original designs would maybe dislike most fans, but honestly? If it were up to me I would have stylized original like in real life 80s animatronics to have the designs of chica, Bonnie, foxy and Freddy yk? Because they are treating them more like robots than animatronics and like NO, the point is that they are animatronics, stop trying to lean into cyborg sci-fi future FNAF if you're adapting og fnaf lean into the terror of uncanny, guts and blood smelling rotten dirty old machines of a what was supposed to be a normal family pizzeria.

Believe me, playing with smell can really really make things scary, the animatronics shouldn't seem alive or emotionally conscious, they in our perspective animalistic creatures with no mind, that may not be moving at all, but somehow you feel they are following you with their eyes (even if in the case of golden Freddy they have none) make them seem more malnourished, maybe there is broken wiring that let's us see a lot of dry brown stains that give off a dirty rotten smell, they always seem greasy and smell like pizza, greasy and extremely rotten pizza.

Also the fact the souls of the kids appear is cliche and dumb, like we never meet them, the robots are not the kid souls anymore, they are the animalistic revenge desire of their souls, they are no longer human, it would have made the terror and the tension work better if the souls weren't so at your face like kids idk how to word this, but dehumanize their designs, LEAN INTO THE UNCANNY, god i know that making an indie horror game that is more of the collective than of the creator into a somewhat mainstream "Hollywood eske" movie would turn out so shitty, because it lost all the passion and beauty of uncertainty, the not knowing, the significant art and interpretations, they couldn't even give us the characters we love, they just showed us some weird reboot of mike and crying child and whoever abby is supposed to be. Why is Vanessa there I'm so serious, ok this is totally personal, but I hate that they just replace original characters just no.

Imma be honest I don't have the patience right now to word every single thing I think the movie got wrong, but at this point what FNAF is and why we as a fandom love it so much, it's because of the content we as a community create, we make FNAF enjoyable, and idgaf, but scott is not the reason i love fnaf, and it will never be, like that man wants to do a horror story but treats it childishly and cant decide if he wants his audience to be children (for some reason) or +16 and older so it turns out wanky, childish and even dumbs down the audience, how can you have thia sorry still be aimed at children, but feature extreme acts of violence against children like tf, there is canon child abuse, there is gore and child murder, there is so many things that are not for children, but are handled like so badly that it comes off as if a child wrote it, and of course dumbs it down to the point we get to where we are now with the current FNAF, child aimed fully, Scott can't even decide his own lore and the fandom does half the work or all the work

Anyways point is, let the author ruin his own work and give the people creative freedom

#five nights at freddy's #elizabeth afton #five nights at freddys #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie opinion #fnaf opinions #micheal afton #william afton #the crying child #freddy #foxy #chica #bonnie #i know it came out a while ago but whatever i was thinking

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dr3amofagame · 6 months

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If you're not already burnt out from analysis, do you have any thoughts on the Mexican L'Manberg debates?

hmm i have to rewatch the vod tbh it's been a bit--not many thoughts that haven't been regurgitated a million times though.

something that has always interested me is the whole dethronement debacle/mexican lmanburg debates in relation to how leadership has worked for the greater smp faction, largely because the dsmp was never meant to be a faction and the creation of the official kingship for c!Eret was very much in response to L'manburg at the time. and there is honestly quite a bit of conflict that rises from the fact that the greater dsmp faction was never really meant to have a king in the first place, and the confusion that would arise about what the role of the king even was supposed to be (especially as the idea of c!Dream having any kind of legitimacy was worn away over time.) it'd be an interesting meta to write if i could think of a way to word it all--but it's always fascinated me, in this conflict, how the progression of "he's in charge of the server, i'm in charge of the land" to c!Dream's no-mans-land position of leadership in the dsmp faction progresses as the server goes on is utilized in c!Quackity's favor to effectively block c!Dream out of the conversation (even with so much of this being quite directly an attack on dream in the first place.) something something being king of the dsmp comes with a level of restriction, yes, but also a level of protection--and while c!dream, viewed nebulously as a leader, was also subject to a certain level of restriction to a certain extent (see: his asserting that he couldn't publicly stand against schlatt because of the peace treaty between their two nations), the fact that his leadership was more de facto early on (because the dsmp faction wasn't yet a faction) as compared to the kingship, this conflict is a clear demonstration of how he doesn't have the same political sway as the dsmp king to be able to ask for quite the same level of protection (and hence, how his request for an apology in the peace treaty goes unheeded and how he ends up as a trading piece in the negotiations.)

otherwise, mexican lmanburg definitely has a lot in terms of echoes of c!wilbur and the lmanburg narrative, particularly regarding c!dream's view on factions, which is interesting--c!dream has never actually been "anti-people doing what they want in a group," but of course that's how things ended up being popularly seen because. gestures. and of course, there's the whole idea that every single conflict on the server ever was initiated by c!dream which...again, lmao. along those lines:

[thinks abt lmanburg. a lot] yeah.

and lastly...this isn't really just a mexican lmanburg thing, but c!dream around this time was kinda known to reacting to threats by basically doing the thing where he would make like, a laundry list of threats, right, just really over-the-top stuff that would freak people out like hell, right? we see it in exile negotiations, we see it in mexican lmanburg debates--

and you know, they've regularly been pointed to as you know, look how crazy evil he is an how he overreacts to shit and etc, whatever. and it does interest me how these speeches are quite similar in pattern to moments post-prison as well:

specifically being quite consistent with moments where he's feeling, well, a bit unstable. it's an intimidation tactic that c!dream has long used, of course (white flags speech is a well-known example) but it's interesting to see it often in context of c!dream being to some degree, scared (or paranoid)--even in white flags, that was obviously a conflict that c!dream treated seriously that was quite a bit different in character from conflicts that preceded it on the server and therefore demanded a greater level of wariness and caution from him. always interesting, to me, the ways that certain actions for c!Dream are so deeply related to fear, feeling attacked (compared to, say, c!sam who would do the whole I Am The Warden power play against anyone that he felt challenged his authority)

very very scattered thoughts, but um--yeah! i really should rewatch this stream especially bc the transcript is incomplete, but alas

#i also have like very specific demons about a very specific moment in this stream but shh #we don't need to get into that rn XD #my asks !!#my adhd was not letting me think of the words to reply to this for like a few hours so sorry this took so long LMAO #transcripts from dsmptranscripts on twt

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roxineedstosleep · 2 years

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Hello!! It's cool seeing another blog do yandere!moon system lol

Ok so this is just a suggestion, a headcanon on how the yandad!moon system would be as parents. Like who is more nurturing, who is more strict, etc. I totally think all of them would be overprotective tho :)

Let's see… The Lunar System being parents.

Honey, this is really going to be too much fun, at least Jake's part.

I feel like Steven is the most excited about his baby's interests. He's the kind of over-enthusiastic father who ALWAYS supports all of his children's academic interests.

He loves to spoil his baby, he wants his baby to always feel loved and protected ina more phisical way. So he doesn't hesitate to spoil and shower his baby with adorable gifts when he notices that they are of things they likes and can enjoy.

Example: Did he remember on the street that his baby loves animal films and animal documentaries? Well, now his baby has a vast collection of stuffed animals, basically just get them plushies exact replicas of their favourite animals so his baby can learn more from it.

He seeks to always give him his favourite foods, in a healthy way, and would never raise his voice at them… not unless the situation got completely out of control and he panicked and sought to get his baby's attention. He could never punish his child, though. He can't, their baby's Bambi eyes prevent him from doing so. That's Jake's job.

Basically it's "Papa Steven", the pamperer and nurturer.

Marc… well, it's very Marc?

I'll be honest, he's the type who doesn't want to show negative emotions in front of his offspring. Wendy's behaviour has scarred him emotionally for life and he wants to avoid that altogether. Obviously, since Marc is a bit emotionally extreme and thinks he doesn't deserve love and that, he would be on edge with his baby.

He would be very slow about the way he behaves with his baby, at least initially. Therefore, he sees what kind of actions are right and wrong. Relatively, when he gets the confidence and that, Marc becomes the paranoid father who doesn't want to leave his baby alone. He doesn't want his baby to feel unloved, but he also doesn't want his child to feel overwhelmed by his presence.

So he always tries to listen to his baby, so that he always knows what he is thinking and can help him to be happy. And if that happens while they watch movies and eat biscuits, behind Steven's back, that's what should happen.

Always by his side, hypervigilant of any negative emotions his offspring might express. He HATES to see his baby being sad, and only calms down when he understands what is causing his offspring's discomfort. Basically goes between worried emotional wart and happy emotional wart.

He is "Dada Marc", the worrywart.

Although, quite understandably, Marc can't discipline his child. He can't and won't, but he knows that his baby must be disciplined at times… so he leaves it to Jake.

Now, Jake. For all his brash, fear-aggressive behaviour, and unfriendly looks, Jake is the most relaxed parenting.

I don't know if it's Jake's Latino nature (I'm a Latina, and at least I can tell from what I've experienced with my father) or the type of environment that surrounds him, but he loves to get into mischief with his baby and have fun with his offspring.

Jake is the kind of dad who will grab a beer, and when his kid asks him what the beer tastes like, he'll give them a taste… and then scoff when his baby grimaces. Obviously, he'd make sure his baby is never near a beer again, but he wouldn't make the same fuss as Steven or Marc would do in the same situation.

He always plays pranks on them and likes to use his strength to play with his offspring. He LOVES to watch his baby laugh with him and have fun with whatever silly things the two of them come up with. Obviously, since he is stronger, he would use such innocent games to show his dominance and strength, but never as a direct message of threat. Only as a warning.

But, since he's the only one with more "backbone" than the other two, as much as he enjoys being "Fun Daddy Jake", he's also the only one who knows how to punish his offspring when they misbehave. Nothing physical, for obvious reasons, but ultimately his kid won't be having fun for a couple of weeks.

Yes, even if he thought it was fun to see the whole flat full of sandcastles and Gus in a sailor suit… he still knew that his son was wrong to do that, and so he left his baby without ice cream for a week.

#yandad steven grant #yandad marc spector #yandad jake lockley #yandere marvel #yandere mcu #yandere moon knight #yandere steven grant #yandere marc spector #yandere jake lockley #yandere moonknight #reader #yandere and reader #yandad #moon knight system #moonknight

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igotanidea · 1 year

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Sleep paralysis demon : dark!Morpheus x f!reader

Request from the prompt list : How about 139-142 of your prompt list with Dream of the Endless and Reader, please

139: This place gives me creeps, 140: I swear my house is haunted

141: Did you hear that? 142: It’s just your imagination

warning: this ain't no fluff :D :D and it's a bit short, since I'm lacking time lately

During my relatively not-so-long life I’ve read a lot of stories, myths and legends. I guess that was why my imagination and creativity was something I valued most about myself. I used to daydream a lot and create hypothetical situations in my mind. Those always seemed nicer and better than mundane, day-to-day life. It always started with a single though “How crazy would it be if …..” and then just went on and on, sometimes influencing my sleeping hours. Sometimes I woke up remembering exactly what I was dreaming about, some other I had no time to dwell on it, consumed by all the duties and things to do, wishing it was all more colorful. Let me add the fact that November aura was not really helpful with keeping good, dreamy attitude. Or maybe it was quite the opposite since for the last couple days I felt like I could sleep all the time. Almost like some Disney princess….. Ugh! I truly hated the thought that I would be so helpless and lifeless. I was rather a fighting, fierce type.

During one particularly boring Monday, dealing with all the paperwork and excel spreadsheets a sudden idea came into my mind. Lucid dreaming. I’ve heard about it before, but never really tried it. Could a person really learn how to do it, safely? I would not like to risk sleepwalking and doing something crazy and/or dangerous like walking (or rather falling from) the rooftop or calling someone in the middle of the night, spilling my most shameful, dark secrets. I did not know that, but it was my best intend to try it. I checked some information on the Internet and even tried to trick one of my friends, who was a doctor into helping me understand this procedure. For research purpose and out-of-curiosity of course. My best excuse was that I was writing an article about it and needed some professional advice on which angle approach it. I also might have mentioned something about dealing with nightmares and my inability to sleep, since allegedly lucid dreaming was quite a cure for it. He was suspicious at first, but finally gave up and told me what I came from.

When the darkness fell (and may I remind you it was November so the sun was setting at like 4 p.m) I started getting ready, airing my bedroom, setting the alarm clock on particular hours which were supposed to keep me in the right state, putting on my sleeping mask and chanting some suggestive mantras. After what seemed like an eternity I got a bit frustrated. Why was it not working? How long have I been laying like this? An hour, two? Fifteen minutes. Fifteen freaking minutes and I was already going crazy. “Maybe this was stupid idea after all” I though kicking the blanket and getting up ready to make myself some herbal tea instead. This was actually proven to be working and if not, at least it will calm my nerves.

The moment I put my feet on the ground something felt terribly, terribly wrong and I could not figure out why. I was still in my apartment, familiar and safe place I designed and decorated by myself. I knew like the back of my hand and therefore it should not feel so… cold. And dark. My own place gave me creeps and I could not help shuddering. Cold sweat run down my spine as I grabbed something for protection and slowly, carefully descended the steps acting paranoid and looking out for any threats or a mere signal of danger. My vocal cords were ready to scream my lungs out for help if the need arose.

“Who is there?” I asked, but it came more of a whisper. Right, I was only so scary in my own mind while in reality, standing in the middle of the stairs with back plastered to the wall and being dressed in pajama with cartoon characters wouldn’t scare a five year old. Another step, two, three and I was in the kitchen. If anything at least I had some knifes there. AH! Maybe they would be of use faster then I remember. I swear I saw a shadow on the wall. I could not even comprehend and recognize the shape, but it faintly reminded me of the raven. The Death’s bird a terrifying voice whispered in my mind. I swear my house is haunted! I laid down in normal world and woke up in the out-of-horror-movie one ….. Wait, woke up? Did I…..?

“Oh, fuck!” the curse came out of my mind involuntarily and I immediately covered my mouth, dropping the knife in the process and causing even more noise. “Fuck!” my little experiment worked, just not really in the way I wanted it to. Ok, breathe, breathe, if it’s just a dream nothing wrong can happen to you, right? RIGHT? But what if Freddy Krueger or Jack Torrance came out of the corner? What if chucky or Pennywise will come to life? God! My mind was not playing tricks on me, projecting all the horror movies I knew. What’s next? A lighting for an effect? A wind? Some other supernatural phenomena? And speaking of supernatural maybe Winchesters brothers will come to the rescue? I wouldn’t mind a bit of Dean’s help and …. “oh, just shut up, shut up!” I hissed at my restless brain which I started to hate at the moment. Panting, wet with fear, scared to move I was just standing in place, my eyes scanning the whole place frantically. Suddenly the sound of the creeping floor came from my right side.

“Did you hear that?” that little voice inside my head came back to life again and I was now shuddering uncontrollably, almost sobbing and putting all my effort not to sob and whimper. “It’s coming for you….. You’re punishment. You have been a bad, bad girl…..” all the demons dominated my mind and I fell to the floor being a mess of a person, fully aware I had no place to run and completely unaware who was he. Well, I was about to find it out soon as the room became even darker, if that was even possible but when you are scared you exaggerate everything. Fear is not rational. Then the air became freezing to the point where I saw cold steam coming from my mouth and my hands and feet became instantly cold. I was about to die out of fear or out of cold, didn’t know which option was worse. I closed my eyes frantically repeating that this was just a dream, just a dream, nothing more. Well, I did not know that back at the moment, but I was just so, so right about this one.

Sadly, holding my knees close to the chest, embracing myself and shutting eyes did not make me invisible which I was assured of, as sudden cawing came from above my head and talons painfully scratched my head. Not to the bleeding point but leaving marks there and most likely ripping some of the hair.

“Please, please, go away….” I sobbed with shaking voice.

“Open your eyes.” Deep, dark, soft voice said with the tone warning me not to object this command but I just could not listen, shaking my head, shutting eyes even more.

“Open them or I’ll make you.” the voice became darker and the temperature fell a few more degrees so I listened….. automatically regretting that. This time I could not hold the scream rising in me at the sight of a pair of two, yellowy glowing eyes in front of me. A devil came for me. And if not a devil then certainly a demon. Bare handed, dressed in black coat, almost confluent with the surroundings. I could not clearly see the features of this being but messy hair and fearful expression was shown for a second as the light came on his face. That was clearly a man, but demons are known for their shapeshifting abilities. And the raven, the messenger of death. It all would make sense.

“Please don’t hurt me” I begged on my knees “I did nothing wrong.”

“didn’t you? Didn’t you try to lucid dream?”

“Yes, but….” I whimpered

“Didn’t you try to mess with the natural order of things?” this creature cold gaze was fixed on me and it was extremely uncomfortable, making me feel guily

“I did not mean to….” I tried again and once more was cut out

“Didn’t you try to enter my realm without permission?” he raised and walked towards me, eyes throwing daggers and glistening in the darkness. “Didn’t you get another dreamers involved in your scheming? Didn’t you try to get power of dreams for yourself?”

“I…. I…..” he lift me up from the floor with tight grip that would definitely left bruised and if I thought I was scared before than I did not know the meaning of the word.

“ You shall be punished.”

“Please, I was just trying to….”

“Silence! You deserve nightmares and darkness and void for trying to circumvent the rules I oversee. No reason or inducement is an excuse for such action. I shall condemn you.”

“Please, please, I beg you. I won’t ever do this again!” I cried because of fear and pain combined “I was just trying to escape my boring life, that’s all. Never planned to disobey or go against you… Please, please, let me go…..”

“You shall remember well not to interfere with my affairs in the future, rogue dreamer. Keep it in your mind or I shall come for you and I won’t be so lenient. For now, this dream is over” he spoke coldly and disappeared in the cloud of something that reminded sand.

And that was when I woke up, screaming and springing from the bed, frantically touching every part of my body to make sure nothing happened to me and I was unharmed. Shit!

“It was just your imagination.” I told myself trying to calm the breathing and rapidly beating heart. “No more experiments with sleeping. Just imagination……”

But if truly was a dream why was there a scar on my forehead at the hairline, barely visible, looking like a mark from a claw of a bird?

@pinksirensong @somest1

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lackablazeical · 1 year

Text

Hello, followers of my content! Wanted to make an acknowledgement post, as I've gotten multiple messages about this and I feel it's necessary. I should've acknowledged it the second I got even one message, but I was and have been being stupid about how I go about things, and also didnt understand what peoples specific issues were. I'm sorry this whole post took so long.

[EDIT] I EDITED THIS POST TO HAVE A CUT. PLEASE READ THE FULL THING. THANK U <3

I wanna first apologize for my actions and behavior regarding this AU, and it's portrayal of SA. Within a previous (now deleted) ask post, I had decided to address the idea that Leo molests Usagi, but danced around the idea of explicitly confirming it. I did this because I was paranoid that if I confirmed it, that would make me liable for any mistakes I made, and therefore get me in 'trouble', is the way I'd put it.

This was me making a BAD FUCKING MOVE. I shouldn't have done this. It was childish and stupid. I apologize for trying to avoid blame by making it 'not fully confirmed'. Just because I 'left it up to interpretation' doesn't absolve me from any blame. I shouldn't have left it up for the people to decide at all. I'm liable for any mistake I make within my content, whether it's explicitly confirmed or not. It is my job to understand what I am talking about and how it could affect people, and I didn't do my due diligence. I am sorry.

Usagi, within the AU, isn't supposed to get a happy ending. While I've never decided the 'future' of the AU, that is something that stays concrete in my mind. And I completely understand where people are coming from with informing me that looks damn bad, having a victim stay with abuser for the rest of their natural life. I've made comments about how I enjoy 'torturing' Usagi within this same vein.

To be honest, I do enjoy tormenting him. He's a punching bag character to me, and one I can both project onto and punish. I shouldn't have brought SA into that, and I especially need to not make specific, more 'indulgently cruel' content public. I have not experienced it, it is not something I should've ever considered adding to his character or to the AU. I shouldn't have thrown SA in the mix to just add onto his 'sad boi' status, it was fucked up of me to do that. Leo can be a bad person without being a rapist, just as Usagi can have an upsetting situation without being a victim of SA.

In regards to the slutshaming of Usagi, mostly by Mikey. Again, fucked up and thick-skulled of me to do that. Any of that. The Canon reason Mikey slutshames Usagi is just because he's a rabbit, and because Leo is so much more intensely in love with Usagi then his other victims. It wasn't supposed to be because the two are actually regularly intimate, but because Mikey couldn't see any reason WHY Leo would like Usagi past that, and 'he's a rabbit anyway so what else could he bring to the table but the 'obvious'?'

Mikey slutshames Usagi mostly because I have deep-seated issues with my own sexuality and how I view it, both to myself and others. Usagi is uncomfortable with his sexuality, and i projected this into my content as i like putting him down as an indirect way of putting myself down. This is an instance where I SHOULD NOT HAVE MADE THAT CONTENT PUBLIC. AT ALL. NOT ONE FUCKING BIT. It should've stayed in its own private folder while I work on processing those feelings instead of making them public to the internet. Making them public does not help me or anyone else, and just makes it so I now also constantly check how much 'approval' my internalized issues have. A horrible move in every sense of the word, and i am so so sorry.

In regards to the Christmas post, involving the two, I've just decided to delete it. While the content wasn't intended sexually, it was Still stupid of me to present any sort of toxic/abusive relationship in a joking, 'haha look! He's all tied up!' Way. I should've been smarter then that, but I wasn't, and that is my bad. I'm going to learn from this and understand what content is actually ok to post, and what content I need to keep to myself/my therapist. My own issues have no place on tumblr or this AU. I'm sorry it took me so long to recognize that.

Another issue brought up is the usage of calling it Leosagi and using Leosagi tags on posts. I should've known better than to use ship tags on something that IS NOT a ship. I put wanting attention and likes above sticking to my own presentation of the two, and that was fucked up. It was a hypocritical, thoughtless move to be using ship tags within the same breath I was saying it wasn't a ship. It isn't a ship, I do not ship these two, and using those tags was fucking Brain dead. I will not use them again.

In this AU, I do not use Leosagi in the shipping context. I enjoy using names for duos, and you can see examples of this within Michi and Donnida. Both duo names, both non-ship. Where I fumbled was using shipping tags with it. I shouldn't have expected people to read my mind, that's an unfair expectation of anyone who consumes my content. I apologize for this. Leosagi is just used to label a central dynamic, and that is its extent. I truly do not ship these two in any way, shape, or form.

People have informed me that just because I say that I am not intending to romanticize/sexualize these two, doesn't mean I'm not doing it without realizing. I want to state that at NO POINT within this AU have I EVER wanted to show these two as anything other then a disgusting, toxic, abusive stalker/victim dynamic. Just because I draw them hugging, kissing, touching, etc is NOT meant to be romanticizing any of it. Usagi never looks happy around Leo. He does not return, enjoy, or want any of this affection. None of the artwork is intended as sexual or romantic, but be disturbing and disgusting, and show an abusive dynamic.

I am of the firm belief that nothing can be sexual without the intent of it BEING sexual. Bondage can be sexual just as much as it can be an art form, etc etc. It depends on the people involved and intent while making it. Even if you disagree with me on that, that is how i go about creating content. None of my content has EVER been made with sex or romance as a creative intent. I think it spreads a horrible message to say that I'm romanticizing these two simply because they touch, especially within the context of how touchy Leo is.

Leo is. His own whole situation. I am starting this by saying NO ACTIONS LEO HAS EVER DONE IN THIS AU ARE CONDONED BY ME. LEO IS A SHIT, TERRIBLE PERSON, I THINK HE IS DISGUSTING AND ANYONE WHO THINKS EVEN SLIGHTLY GOOD OF HIM IS FUCKING WRONG. HE IS AN EVIL, EVIL PERSON, WHO SHOULD NOT BE LOOKED UP TO, GLAMORIZED, OR WHATEVER OTHER WORDS YOU CAN THINK OF. Leo is a sick BASTARD. I do not think he is cool, sweet, redeemable, ANYTHING.

Leo is a fan favorite of the fandom. I expected that some people would be blinded by their bias because he is a fave and maybe be more forgiving towards his actions, and it was my bad. He isn't a good person and no one should see him as anything but a heartless villain. It was my job to make that clear, and I didn't. I'm sorry. Just because I create a lot of content with Leo does not mean I endorse him or his actions.

Going forward, I want to make it clear that SA will not be involved in this AU at all. No art I make will be depicting SA, no content will be depicting SA, none of it. At all. That will not be a part of this AU. I'm sorry I involved it in the first place.

I will also not be changing HOW I depict the two. I have tried my damned hardest to be clear about how these two should be viewed, and if that makes anyone uncomfortable they should not be consuming my content in any way. They are an abusive dynamic that isn't gonna get better. NOTE: SA will not be involved at all. I do not feel like I have to change how I draw for the point to be clear. Because I use pink, or I draw flowers, or any of that doesn't mean I think it's cute, that I condone it, that it's romantic, ANYTHING.

Contrast is a thing in art. Having to look at the artwork for more then 2 seconds to understand it is a thing in art. Please understand that. I don't want to invalidate months of work because not every artwork of them is just a Grayscale thing of usagi crying alone in a dark room. I know what the intent of my content is better then anyone else. I'm not lying or trying to be silly or goofy when i add notes that they are toxic and I am not romantizing them. I'm being dead serious, and it isn't my fault if someone decides that I'm not.

I'm genuine when I say I want feedback on how to improve how I present the topics in my AU. I'm human, I make mistakes, I misunderstand things. It doesn't hurt my feelings and I'm OK with it. I know my followers will have a bias towards my side, but I still want them to be honest with me if I do something wrong. A difficult thing about this situation is that I could go up to two different SA victims and get completely different opinions about how I handle it within my AU. It's hard to get right in that way. One victim loves it, thinks it's done well, etc. One doesn't. Both are valid and no one is more or less important. It can just also add some fog to what I need to change.

As of right now, I'm just gonna go through and delete a few posts that I feel contribute too much to this whole. Issue. This includes the Christmas post and the 1964 Screencap redraw. I'm also gonna take a few days break, so I can clear my head and work on what I need to change about the AU to make it better. I won't be responding to messages or asks during this time. I hope yall can understand where I'm coming from with that. Thank you.

#cw rape mention #cw sa mention #cw sa

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