#They all make their pet rocks though and Gus takes it to school to leave in his locker bc he loves it

[i-watch-too-many-movies]

5 Favorite First Viewings of July 2021

Quick note: Hi everyone, I'm back, things have honestly been getting better for me, and I'm glad to be on this site full of cinephiles, people that are too horny, and cinephiles that are too horny. I'll be more active on here. But anyway, let's talk about some movies.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) (dir. Russ Meyer)

CW: Abortion mention

What a picture. What a gorgeous, sexy, horrifying slice of what Hollywood and star life can do to a bunch of bright-eyed young people looking for success. Also is a critique of how macho nature can ruin friendships and romantic relationships with total ease. I was obsessed with the scene transitions, like Pet pouring pancake mix onto a plate after the abortion scene, or Kelly singing after someone screams before their murder in the opening scene.

Great, campy flick with exceptional music too.

Deep Cover (1992) (dir. Bill Duke)

Laurence Fishburne plays Russell Stevens, a Cincinnati police officer who hopes to do well by the community, to make a difference. He’s traumatized by the death of his substance-abusing father, and wants to make sure that he can help the people of his own town. He goes undercover on assignment as a drug dealer, where his boss orders him to take down the kingpin. Stevens realizes the police’s own failings while on assignment. The racist abuse he takes from Agent Carver, and the realization that the police department is protecting drug kingpins like Gallegos and Barbossa. Giving drugs to Black kids and Latinx kids so there will be less of them. The cops are no different than the drug kingpins looking to make filthy amounts of money.

Fishburne’s performance is excellent, as Stevens feels he has to maintain a stone face so he doesn’t get caught by Jason or Barbossa or any of his cronies, but also he maintains a stone face to try and hide his emotion, his trauma. But when he gets pissed, Fishburne acts it beautifully, as is when he has to deliver a funny quip to counter Jason’s douchebaggery. And the production design, holy fuck, the sets and the lighting.

A perfect neo-noir for the HW Bush years, arguably one of the most timeless commentaries on the era, as well as the police as a whole.

Fast Five (2011) (dir. Justin Lin)

I was torn between including this or Furious 7, but I ultimately went with Fast Five because it felt like an important turning point in the series, it's a great heist film, and it reached the same chaotic highs and genuinely excellent filmmaking that I had been waiting for since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift.

Fast Five opens where Fast & 4ious left off. Dom is hauled away to prison on a bus. Mia and Brian drive in their high-tech cars and knock the bus over, helping Dom escape. The title drops. Fast Five. It’s such an intense yet short action scene, and dropping the title immediately after it lets the viewer know that this movie is not fucking around. It’s arguably gonna be more intense and insane than the previous one.

And it is. The filmmakers made the decision to use a lot more practical stunt work for the film, and as a result, it leads to, so far, the best action in the entire series, since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift. It’s not just how it’s shot or edited, it’s the geography of the locations, the rooftop chase echoes the rooftop chase of Jackie Chan’s masterwork Police Story, particularly the way each character bounces from top to top.

And of course, there’s the silliest moment in the movie, the one that matches the intensity and kineticism of a film like 2 Fast, which is driving the Reyes’ bank vault throughout the street, getting chased by corrupt cops.

I know we make fun of Vin Diesel for saying “family” all the time in these films, but there’s a reason we remember him saying all of these impassioned monologues. Because he’s unbelievably sincere, and has so much love in his heart for every single person in the room. Anytime he delivers a speech to any of them, it’s genuinely heartwarming.

This is the film that finally shows La Familia in their best environment, which is working together, in a movie genre that allows them to work together, which is a heist film. And a great one at that.

Last Days (2005) (dir. Gus Van Sant)

CW: Mention of suicide

Several films have been made about legendary rock artist Kurt Cobain, and for good reason. He is one of the most tragic figures in rock and roll. A tortured genius who has written and performed classic song after classic song with his band Nirvana. He was called the voice of a generation, and helped change the face of mainstream alternative rock music as we know it. But with that fame, and all of those expectations came a worsening depression and further drug abuse, and his eventual death. But most of the films about Kurt Cobain ask one question which gets under my skin way too much:

“Who REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY killed Kurt Cobain?”

It was him. He did. And it’s okay, I’m sad too. Thinking that Kurt Cobain was murdered is completely ignoring the depression that he faced. And despite Last Days being more inspired by the death of Cobain rather than actually about it, it feels much more honest than the conspiracy documentaries on his death, wanting to leech off of his dead body.

This is the last installment of Gus Van Sant’s “Death Trilogy”, the previous two installments being Gerry (2001), and Elephant (2003). While I have not seen Gerry, I have seen Elephant though, and love that film for its minimalist, raw nature, and its boldness for not romanticizing the school shooter or the lives they had taken. Last Days falls into that trap once, as I don’t agree with the shot of Blake’s soul climbing up a ladder, that always struck me as cheesy in a film that is anything but.

Last Days is similar to Elephant in terms of the way it is filmed. Its usage of long takes, and still shots of characters doing various things, such as Blake playing his guitar behind a drum set. The way these moments are shot is similar to a Chantal Akerman film, particularly Jeanne Dielman. Where the acts of the mundane are the stars of the film. Blake wanders around an empty house, and the viewer can feel the pain, not just through Michael Pitt’s acting, but from the house itself. Its decay, its paint peeling from the walls, from the soft glow of the lamp that lights his face.

I say this is the most honest film about Kurt Cobain, because, despite the characters technically being fictional (the main character who looks, walks, and acts like Cobain is named Blake), this film focuses on the mental state of a person before they eventually take their own life. They’re still working, still making music, still trying to talk to friends and bandmates, but the depression lingers on. Not once does this film try to make you believe that someone else killed him, because you can see the signs of his own suicide taking place just through the film’s excellent cinematography by Harris Savides, showing his mental state only growing worse through the production design.

And it’s empathetic with him. There’s no judgement for leaving rehab, there’s no finger-wagging at him or the people he was with, there’s just a silent prayer at the end of the film, hoping that he is in a better place than he was.

Sometimes you don’t need to show every event that led you to where you are, all you can show is the moment, which also makes this better than most biopics as well, as it never feels messy or muddled, just showing one moment of Blake/Kurt’s life.

I really loved this film, and I’ll be writing about it in full soon.

The Village (2004) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

The Cracked.com/Channel Awesome audience stuck in 2012 will tell you that this was the beginning of the end for Shyamalan. That this was when people stopped taking him seriously, that this was when he became more of a punchline because of his twist endings.

But why?

The Village was released in 2004, deep in the Bush administration, during the early stages of the Iraq War. The leaders of the time were talking about imaginary boogeymen, terrorists that would attack the civilians if they could. Because of 9/11, politicians could get away with these false ideas with the majority of Americans fully believing them. The boogeymen in The Village are “The People We Don’t Speak Of”, monsters attracted by the color red. Yet we find out that they are all costumes made by the Elders of the land, designed to prevent people from going outside the land. They rule by fear disguised as love. They’ve gone through their own traumas through the deaths of their family members, but they’ve decided to completely abandon the lives that they’ve had and have their children living lies.

9/11 impacted American life by teaching citizens to live primarily by fear, to not trust anyone but their own people. And yet, post-9/11, all that increased was not “coming together”, but hate crimes against South Asian people. The rage white Americans had felt led to conservative politicians pushing fear-mongering agendas, and said white Americans blindly accepted. The outside world was progressing, but too many people were fine with living with further conservative politics only regressing American life further and further back, all for the illusion of safety. Meanwhile, the only threats to them were not the brown citizens outside of America they were so afraid of, but the white elders, the white politicians.

The Village explores these fears so eloquently, all while having a terrifying atmosphere, an enchanting score, and brilliant sound design. I enjoyed this movie very much.

Other viewings I enjoyed:

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996) (dir. Mike Judge) (re-watch)

Blow Out (1981) (dir. Brian de Palma) (re-watch)

Clueless (1995) (dir. Amy Heckerling) (re-watch)

Furious 7 (2015) (dir. James Wan)

The Long Goodbye (1973) (dir. Robert Altman)

Lupin III: The First (2019) (dir. Takashi Yamazaki)

Unbreakable (2000) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan) (re-watch)

Velvet Goldmine (1998) (dir. Todd Haynes)

The Visit (2015) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

#favorite first watches #these movies are (chef's kiss) #beyond the valley of the dolls #russ meyer #deep cover #bill duke #fast five #justin lin #last days #gus van sant #the village #m night shyamalan

[k7l4d4]

Plane Shift: The Boiling Isles, Brief Character Portfolio

Hello all, today I am going to go into some measure of detail for the characters in this crossover between the Owl House and Dungeons and Dragons 5e. Everybody clap your hands!!

Now, to give a little heads up, the way this portfolio is set up is based on the following Format:

Character Name

Defining Quote/Motto

Alignment Inclinations

Favored Classes/Known Classes

Brief Profile

Okay, now that the format is listed, time to get into the nitty gritty!

Luz Noceda

“Limits? What are those!”

Chaotic Good/Neutral Good

Primary Class: Wizard, Subclass: Order of Scribes. Secondary Class: Artificer, Subclass: Battle Smith. Tertiary Classes: Paladin, Rogue, and Bard.

The young daughter of the famed Plane Warden and Cleric, Camila Noceda, Luz has always had her head in the clouds, longing for adventure and friendship. Upon entering the Adventurer’s Academy, she proceeded to rock the very foundation of Plana and adventuring by choosing not one, not two, but FIVE classes to train in! She would’ve tried them all, but was talked out of it when they professors made it clear it would be physically impossible for her to take them all, and that the number she had selected would push her to greatest of limits. Luz lives life without limits or regret, and while her extremely impulsive nature has resulted in a rather poor social life, she is greatly beloved among the street dwellers and lower ranks of local organizations and groups of her home.

Amity Blight

“Perfection is impossible. That’s why we seek it.”

Lawful Good/Neutral Good

Primary Class: Warlock, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Artificer.

The youngest child of the affluent Blight Family, recently displaced from her home dimension, Amity holds herself to a strict standard of decorum. Her methodical nature, dedication to study, and respect for authority has made her a divisive figure within the Adventurer’s Academy, as while her new instructors find her dedication admirable, they also worry it will disallow her from living a healthy and happy life. Amity regularly runs afoul of Luz, but the human girl’s friendly nature, genuine endearment, and appreciation for magic and learning has served as a bonding bridge between the two. Hints of something deeper within her heart grow clearer all the while.

Willow Park

“Nature is a blessing to us all. We have a duty to care for it, and each other.”

Neutral Good/Chaotic Good

Primary Class: Druid, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Barbarian.

The only child of the Park family, Willow is a quiet, gentle child all around, but within her lurks a frightening power over nature itself that constantly threatens to break free if not for her ironclad self-control, and kind nature. Once friends with Amity Blight, circumstances forced a rift between them, and she holds that pain as a torch within her heart, always wary of letting it burn her down to nothing but unwilling to let go. Willow’s incredible connection with Plants has made her a rare talent among the Druid classes, and she is constantly called to demonstrate her power before her new peers, much to her delight.

Augustus “Gus” Porter

“So much to learn! So much to experience!”

Neutral Good/Chaotic Good

Primary Class: Wizard, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Bard.

A young prodigy who skipped several grades in his home dimension, Gus is still an outstanding figure when it comes to both technical skill and application of magic. Excitable, kind if somewhat insensitive on occasion, and with a fierce need to prove himself, Gus often finds himself in difficult situations, both socially and dangerously, but he never allows it to affect his optimism. He’s rapidly built a bond with Luz over their shared passion and energy, not to mention his excitement over befriending “an actual real-life human!”

Boscha Triplet

“I saved the day! Why? Because I’m a Star of Course!”

Lawful Neutral

Primary Class: Monk, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Artificer.

An athletic star with an incredible ego, Boscha is by all accounts an unpleasant individual, yet since coming to Plana, she’s gradually shown signs of a more vulnerable personality, one she vehemently denies and buries within herself, much to the chagrin of others. While she initially chose Monk as a joke, thinking it of a blow-off course or something similar, the relentless physical training, and the brutally humiliating smackdown dealt on her first day have served to motivate her to continue and succeed in the Class she chose, if only out of pure spite. The philosophical aspects of Monk training seem to go over her head, yet her friends and foes alike have noted her occasionally seem to verge on saying something mean or crude, only to stop herself and stare off in contemplation.

Skara Levine

“Just go with the rhythm. Everything will work out, right?”

Lawful Neutral

Primary Class: Bard, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Sorcerer.

A young girl who lived at the top, Skara had many halmarks of being a potential problem child, often being easily lead and influenced by those deemed her friends, Skara is typically very sweet and outgoing, but for all her social butterfly moments, they are undercut by her poor interpersonal skills, frequently stumbling onto sensitive topics without any inclination she understood why she shouldn’t bring them up. She is a paradox, being both kind and cruel, nice and mean, in equal measures, the parallel nature of her behavior often befuddles those around her. She’s recently begun stating that she hears things suddenly when no one is around.

Emira Blight

“Don’t worry, I can handle this on my own.”

Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral

Primary Class: Rogue, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Fighter.

The oldest daughter of the Blight family, Emira is a mischievous girl with a fondness for mayhem. Nonetheless, she cares for her family and friends, even if her methods occasionally leave much to be desired. Of the Blight Children, Emira is the most independent, often resentful of any perceived restrictions, but calm enough to find workarounds rather than lash out. She frequently professes that looks forward to the day she can live her own life, and enjoys teasing her sister along with her brother.

Edric Blight

“We got this, we just got to stick together.”

Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral

Primary Class: Rogue, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Bard.

The lone son of the Blight family, Edric is Emira’s twin, and is in many ways both her equal and her mirror. While sharing her sense of mischief and love of tricks, Edric is far more flighty and whimsical, often hyper-fixating on animals and whatever shiny thing catches his eye, often projecting a childish air about him. He is the most insecure of the Blight siblings, though he hides it well, and dreads the idea of being alone, particularly from his twin.

Viney Arkswood

“Animals are our friends. They have just as much capacity for good as we do.”

Chaotic Good

Primary Class: Ranger, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Druid.

One of three students sentenced to the Detention Track for their mixing of magical disciplines, Viney has a caring heart and a love of people and animals that manifested in a rather strange way, in that she attempted, and technically succeeded, in training her pet griffin to be a nursing assistant. Viney is genuinely unsure if she wishes to return, with the lone benefit in her mind being to see her parents again.

Jerbo Underslack

“I might be nervous, but that doesn’t make me incompetent.”

Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral

Primary Class: Cleric, Subclass: Nature Domain. Secondary Class: Druid.

One of the three Detention Track students, Jerbo’s love of plants and his fondness for the idea of loyal aides combined in his creation of plant monsters that trashed the gardens of his school. Jerbo is the most suspicious and leery of his friends, often being slow to trust and even slower to act, he nonetheless is a kind soul, and used his admittance into the Adventurer’s Academy to try and kind some new meaning in his life.

Barcus Howsberry

“Your soul glimmers with the joy of a newfound toy in the arms of a lonely child.”

Chaotic Good

Primary Class: Wizard, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Artificer.

Last and oddest of the three Detention Track students, Barcus’ unusual body and strange speech make him truly bizarre, and his cryptic demeanor doesn’t help. Barcus enjoys both the art of Potions and Prediction, and frequently seeks to join the two. Upon arrival, and confirmation that yes he is a sapient being, Barcus was checked by Camila, and was determined to have a hereditary curse bound to his being, and when offered to have it removed, his comfort with his form initially made him refuse, only to be told that the speech impediment and oddness of his form would destroy any chance of him being able to integrate into society, causing him to compromise and have the curse suppressed instead.

Camila Noceda

“To bring goodness and love in this world means I can rest easy, knowing I left it in the hands of those I love.”

Lawful Good

Primary Class: Cleric, Subclass: Life Domain. Secondary Class: None.

Mother of Luz Noceda, Camila is the current Plane Warden of Plana, being entrusted with guarding the city from extraplanar threats and to help guide and aid those lost between realms. Camila is a loving soul, but the strain of her job has worn on her over the years, with the sole reprieve being her precious daughter. Camila often adopts a motherly role for the displaced children now in her care, offering both advice when needed, and discipline as necessary. Camila also frequently aids and offers advice to the adults now sharing her living space, hoping to help them adjust to their situation.

Edalyn Clawthorne

“I’m the most powerful witch in the Isles, but it never meant a thing until I found someone to use that power for.”

Chaotic Good

Primary Class: Sorcerer, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Wizard.

Fiercest Wild Witch to grace the Boiling Isles since Belos’ ascension, Eda marches to the beat of her own drum, no exceptions, but she still holds a beautiful heart for those she cares for, and people in general, no matter how much she denies it. Eda was genuinely shocked to learn that Camila could, and did, heal her curse, effectively if not easily, and feels a deep sense of obligation towards the woman a a result, not to mention her all around soft spot for Camila’s daughter. Eda genuinely has no desire to return to the Isles at this point, beyond maybe a chance to reconcile with her mother and retrieve Hooty and all her stuff.

Lilith Clawthorne

“I am far from perfect, and have made many mistakes. This is the least I can do.”

Lawful Good/Lawful Neutral

Primary Class: Paladin, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Wizard.

Lilith Clawthorne, elder sister to Eda, means well, but is both painfully naive and far too trusting for one her age, as well as disturbingly childish and immature. For all that though, Lilith holds a good heart and thrives in a structured and ordered environment and system. When she received the knowledge that Eda’s curse had been cured, Lilith was nearly left catatonic, as the curing of Eda rendered all her efforts meaningless and her life without true purpose. When Eda bluntly stated that even with her curse cured she will NEVER join a coven, Lilith forced herself to accept it, no matter how much it hurt. Since that day, Lilith has attempted to find a new direction in life, and to help others as best she can.

Odalia Blight

“Like it or not, one’s word is their bond.”

Lawful Neutral/Lawful Evil

Primary Class: Wizard, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Bard.

Matriarch of the Blight family, and a near-Karen level individual, Odalia is both incredibly goal-oriented and driven by a desire to succeed. Domineering and controlling, Odalia exerts a highly unhealthy and toxic level of influence over her childrens’ lives, though she does truly love them. Odalia enjoys having the upper hand, and will do anything to allow her children and family to not only survive but thrive, and is very much fond of disproportionate retribution against her enemies.

Alador Blight

“This could prove interesting.”

Lawful Neutral/Lawful Evil

Primary Class: Artificer, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: Rogue.

Patriarch of the Blight family, and all around bizarre individual, Alador cares for little in his life aside from his inventions, his wife, and his children, in that order. Often dazed and easily distracted, Alador is highly curious and constantly seeks new inspiration for his devices and creations, no matter how dangerous the circumstances. He cares little for his wife’s antics and schemes, but in no way does he find them unacceptable, he often acts as a stabilizing influence upon her, and is perfectly fine with calling her out on her behavior when she genuinely goes too far.

Hieronymus Bump

“Dedication and Focus are important, but true passion and joy for what you do makes all the difference.”

Neutral Good/Lawful Good

Primary Class: Wizard, Subclass: Undetermined. Secondary Class: None.

Principal to the famed, some would say infamous, Hexside School of Magic and Demonics, Principal Bump loves to teach and help others learn, and is perfectly willing to play the system to ensure he can do so. While he genuinely loves all his students and wishes them to succeed, he is willing to admit he is old-fashioned to a certain extent and can have trouble keeping his views on a topic unbiased, and can occasionally act in unethical ways if it means finding a solution to a problem, though he does not enjoy such measures. He aids Camila in searching for a way to return home for him and his fellows, and often acts as a reasonable authority figure for the students who came with them.

#the owl house #owl house au #owl house crossover #dungeons and dragons #dungeons and dragons crossover #dungeons and dragons au #luz noceda #camila noceda #amity blight #alador blight #edric blight #emira blight #odalia blight #eda clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #willow park #gus porter #boscha the owl house #skara the owl house #principal bump #viney the owl house #jerbo the owl house #barcus the owl house

[angelofberlin2000]

Photo: Emily Denniston/Vulture and photos courtesy of the studios 

Keanu Reeves has been a movie star for more than 30 years, but it seems like only recently that journalists and critics have come to acknowledge the significance of his onscreen achievements. He’s had hits throughout his career, ranging from teen comedies (Bill & Ted’s) to action franchises (The Matrix, John Wick), yet a large part of the press has always treated these successes as bizarre anomalies. And that’s because we as a society have never  been able to understand fully what Reeves does that makes his films so special.

In part, this disconnect is the lingering cultural memory of Reeves as Theodore Logan. No matter if he’s in Speed or Bram Stoker’s Dracula or Something’s Gotta Give, he still possesses the fresh-faced openness that was forever personified by Ted’s favorite expression: “Whoa!” That wide-eyed exclamation has been Reeves’s official trademark ever since, and its eternal adolescent naïveté has kept him from being properly judged on the merits of his work.

Some of that critical reassessment has been provided, quite eloquently, by Vulture’s own Angelica Jade Bastién, who has argued for Reeves’s greatness as an action star and his importance to The Matrix (and 21st-century blockbusters in general). Two of her observations are worth quoting in full, and they both have to do with how he has reshaped big-screen machismo. In 2017, she wrote, “What makes Reeves different from other action stars is this vulnerable, open relationship with the camera — it adds a through-line of loneliness that shapes all his greatest action-movie characters, from naïve hotshots like Johnny Utah to exuberant ‘chosen ones’ like Neo to weathered professionals like John Wick.” In the same piece, Bastién noted: “By and large, Hollywood action heroes revere a troubling brand of American masculinity that leaves no room for displays of authentic emotion. Throughout Reeves’s career, he has shied away from this. His characters are often led into new worlds by women of far greater skill and experience … There is a sincerity he brings to his characters that make them human, even when their prowess makes them seem nearly supernatural.”

In other words, the femininity of his beauty — not to mention his slightly odd cadence when delivering dialogue, as if he’s an alien still learning how Earthlings speak — has made him seem bizarre to audiences who have come to expect their leading men to act and carry themselves in a particular way. Critics have had a difficult time taking him seriously because it was never quite clear if what he was doing — or what was seemingly “missing” from his acting approach — was intentional or a failing.

This is not to say that Reeves hasn’t made mistakes. While putting together this ranking of his every film role, we noticed that there was an alarmingly copious number of duds — either because he chose bad material or the filmmakers didn’t quite know what to do with him. But as we prepare for the release of the third John Wick installment, it’s clear that his many memorable performances weren’t all just flukes. From Dangerous Liaisons to Man of Tai Chi — or River’s Edge to Knock Knock — he’s been on a journey to grow as an actor while not losing that elemental intimacy he has with the viewer. Below, we revisit those performances, from worst to best.

   45. Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

The nadir of the ’90s cyberpunk genre, and a movie so bad, with Reeves so stranded, that it’s actually a bit of a surprise the Wachowskis were able to forget about it and still cast him as Neo. Dumber than a box of rocks, it’s a movie about technology and the internet — based on a William Gibson story! — that seems to have been made by people who had never turned on a computer before. Seriously, watch this shit:

44. The Watcher (2000) This movie exists in many ways because of its stunt casting: James Spader as a dogged detective and Keanu as the serial killer obsessed with him. Wait, shouldn’t those roles be switched? Get it? There would come a time in his career when Keanu could have maybe handled this character, but here, still with his floppy Ted Logan hair, he just looks ridiculous. The hackneyed screenplay does him no favors, either. Disturbingly, Reeves claims that he was forced to do this movie because his assistant forged his signature on a contract. He received the fifth of his seven Razzie nominations for this film. (He has yet to win and hasn’t been nominated in 17 years. In fact, it’s another sign of how lame the Razzies are that he got a “Redeemer” award in 2015, as if he needed to “redeem” anything to those people.)

43. Sweet November (2001) It’s a testament to how cloying and clunky Sweet November is that its two leads (Reeves and Charlize Theron) are, today, the pinnacle of action-movie cool — thanks to the same filmmaker, Atomic Blonde and John Wick’s David Leitch — yet so inert and waxen here. This is a career low point for both actors, preying on their weak spots. Watching it now, you can see there’s an undeniable discomfort on their faces: If being a movie star means doing junk like this, what’s the point? They’d eventually figure it all out.

42. Chain Reaction (1996) As far as premises for thrillers go, this isn’t the worst idea: A team of scientists are wiped out — with their murder pinned on poor Keanu — because they’ve figured out how to transform water into fuel. (Hey, Science, it has been 23 years. Why haven’t you solved this yet?) Sadly, this turns into a by-the-numbers chase flick with Reeves as Richard Kimble, trying to prove his innocence while on the run. He hadn’t quite figured out how to give a project like this much oomph yet, so it just mostly lies around, making you wish you were watching The Fugitive instead.

41. 47 Ronin (2013) In 2013, Reeves made his directorial debut with a Hong Kong–style action film. We’ll get into that one later, because it’s a ton better than this jumbled mess, a mishmash of fantasy and swordplay that mostly just gives viewers a headache. Also: This has to be the worst wig of Keanu’s career, yes?

40. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993)

Gus Van Sant’s famously terrible adaptation of Tom Robbins’s novel never gets the tone even close to right, and all sorts of amazing actors are stranded and flailing around. Reeves gets some of the worst of it: Why cast one of the most famously chill actors on the planet and have him keep hyperventilating?

39. Replicas (2019) In the wake of John Wick’s success, Keanu has had the opportunity to sleepwalk through some lesser sci-fi actioners, and this one is particularly sleepy. The idea of a neuroscientist (Reeves) who tries to clone his family after they die in an accident could have been a Pet Sematary update, but the movie insists on an Evil Corporation plot that we’ve seen a million times before. John Wick has allowed Reeves to cash more random checks than he might have ten years ago. Here’s one of them.

38. Feeling Minnesota (1996) As far as we know, the only movie taken directly from a Soundgarden lyric — unless we’re missing a superhero named “Spoonman” — is this pseudo-romantic comedy that attempts to be cut from the Tarantino cloth but ends up making you think everyone onscreen desperately needs a haircut and a shave. Reeves can tap into that slacker vibe if asked to, but he requires much better material than this.

37. Little Buddha (1994)

To state the obvious, it would not fly today for Keanu Reeves to play Prince Siddhartha, a monk who would become the Buddha. But questions of cultural appropriation aside, you can understand what drew The Last Emperor director Bernardo Bertolucci to cast this supremely placid man as an iconic noble figure. Unfortunately, Little Buddha never rises above a well-meaning, simplistic depiction of the roots of a worldwide religion, and the effects have aged even more poorly. Nonetheless, Reeves is quite accomplished at being very still.

36. Much Ado About Nothing (1993) Quick anecdote: We saw this Kenneth Branagh adaptation of the Bard during its original theatrical run, and when Reeves’s villainous Don John came onscreen and declared, “I am not of many words,” the audience clapped sarcastically. That memory stuck because it encapsulates viewers’ inability in the early ’90s to see him as anything other than a dim SoCal kid. Unfortunately, his performance in Much Ado About Nothing doesn’t do much to prove his haters wrong. As an actor, he simply didn’t have the gravitas yet to pull off this fiendish role, and so this version is more radiant and alive when he’s not onscreen. It is probably just as well his character doesn’t have many words.

35. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) GIFs are a cheap way to critique a performance. After all, acting is a complicated, arduous discipline that shouldn’t be reduced to easy laughs drawn from a few seconds of film played on a loop. Then again …

This really does sum up Reeves’s unsubstantial performance as Jonathan Harker, whose new client is definitely up to no good. Bram Stoker’s Dracula is a wonder of old-school special effects and operatic passion — and it is also a movie in which Reeves seems wholly ill at ease, never quite latching onto the story’s macabre period vibe. We suspect if he could revisit this role now, he’d be far more commanding and engaged. But in 1992, he was still too much Ted and not enough anything else. And Reeves knew it: A couple years later, when asked to name his most difficult role to that point, he said, “My failure in Dracula. Totally. Completely. The accent wasn’t that bad, though.” Well …

34. The Neon Demon (2016)

One of the perks of being a superstar is that you can sometimes just phone in an amusing cameo in some bizarro art-house offering. How else to explain Reeves’s appearance in this stylish, empty, increasingly surreal psychological thriller from Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn? He plays Hank, a scumbag motel manager whose main job is to add some local color to this portrait of the cutthroat L.A. fashion scene. If you’ve been waiting to hear Keanu deliver skeezy lines like “Why, did she send you out for tampons, too?!” and “Real Lolita shit … real Lolita shit,” The Neon Demon is the film for you. He’s barely in it, and we wouldn’t blame him if he doesn’t even remember it.

33. The Lake House (2006) Reeves reunites with his Speed co-star for a movie that features a lot fewer out-of-control buses. In The Lake House, Sandra Bullock plays a doctor who owns a lake house with the strangest magical power: She can send and receive letters from the house’s owner from two years prior, a dashing architect (Reeves). This American remake of the South Korean drama Il Mare is romantic goo that’s relatively easy to resist, and its ruminations on fate, love, destiny, and luck are all pretty standard for the genre. As for those hoping to enjoy the actors’ rekindled chemistry, spoiler alert: They’re not onscreen that much together.

32. Henry’s Crime (2011) You have to be careful not to cast Reeves as too passive a character; he’s so naturally calm that if he just sits and reacts to everything, and never steps up, your movie never really gets going. That’s the case in this heist movie about an innocent man (Reeves) who goes to jail for a crime he didn’t commit and then plans a scam with an inmate he meets there (James Caan). The movie wants to be a little quirkier than it is, and Reeves never quite snaps to. The film just idles on the runway.

31. The Bad Batch (2017) Following her acclaimed A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, filmmaker Ana Lily Amirpour plops us in the middle of a desert hellscape in which a young woman (Suki Waterhouse) must battle to stay alive. The Bad Batch is less accomplished than A Girl, in large part because style outpaces substance — it’s a movie in which clever flourishes and indulgent choices rule all. Look no further than Reeves’s performance as the Dream, a cult leader who oversees the only semblance of civilization in this post-apocalyptic world. It’s less a character than an attitude, and Reeves struggles to make the shtick fly. He’s too goofy a villain for us to really feel the full measure of his monstrousness.

30. Hardball (2001)

Reeves isn’t the first guy you’d think of to head up a Bad News Bears–style inspirational sports movie, and he doesn’t pull it off, playing a gambler who becomes the coach of an inner-city baseball team and learns to love, or something. It’s as straightforward and predictable an underdog sports movie as you’ll find, and it serves as a reminder that Reeves’s specific set of skills can’t be applied to just any old generic leading-man role. The best part about the film? A 14-year-old Michael B. Jordan.

29. Street Kings (2008) Filmmaker David Ayer has made smart, tough L.A. thrillers like Training Day (which he wrote) and End of Watch (which he wrote and directed). Unfortunately, this effort with Reeves never stops being a mélange of cop-drama clichés, casting the actor as Ludlow, an LAPD detective who’s starting to lose his moral compass. This requires Reeves to be a hard-ass, which never feels particularly convincing. Street Kings is bland, forgettable pulp — Reeves doesn’t enliven it, getting buried along with the rest of a fine ensemble that includes Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie, and a pre-Captain America Chris Evans.

28. Constantine (2005) In post-Matrix mode, Reeves tries to launch another franchise in a DC Comics adaptation about a man who can see spirits on Earth and is doomed to atone for a suicide attempt by straddling the divide twixt Heaven and Hell. That’s not the worst idea, and at times Constantine looks terrific, but the movie doesn’t have enough wit or charm to play with Reeves’s persona the way the Wachowskis did.

27. The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) Reeves’s alienlike beauty and off-kilter line readings made him an obvious choice to play Klaatu, an extraterrestrial who assumes human form when he arrives on our planet. This remake of the 1950s sci-fi classic doesn’t have a particularly urgent reason to exist — its pro-environment message is timely but awkwardly fashioned atop an action-blockbuster template — and the actor alone can’t make this Day particularly memorable. Still, there are signs of the confident post-Matrix star he had become, which would be rewarded in a few years with John Wick.

26. Knock Knock (2015) Reeves flirts with Michael Douglas territory in this Eli Roth erotic thriller that’s not especially good but is interesting as an acting exercise. He plays Evan, a contented family man with the house to himself while his wife and kids are out of town. Conveniently, two beautiful young strangers (Ana de Armas, Lorenza Izzo) come by late one stormy night, inviting themselves in and quickly seducing him. Is this his wildest sexual fantasy come to life? Or something far more ominous? It’s fun to watch Reeves be a basic married suburban dude who slowly realizes that he’s entered Hell, but Knock Knock’s knowing trashiness only takes this cautionary tale so far.

25. The Devil’s Advocate (1997)

Very few people bought tickets in 1997 for The Devil’s Advocate to see Keanu Reeves: Hotshot Attorney. Obviously, this horror thriller’s chief appeal was witnessing Al Pacino go over the top as Satan himself, who just so happens to be a New York lawyer. Nonetheless, it’s Reeves’s Kevin Lomax who’s actually the film’s main character; recently moved to Manhattan with his wife (Reeves’s future Sweet November co-star, Charlize Theron), he’s the new hire at a prestigious law firm who only later learns what nefarious motives have brought him there. Reeves is forced to play the wunderkind who gets in over his head, and it’s not entirely convincing — and that goes double for his southern accent.

24. The Prince of Pennsylvania (1988) “You are like some stray dog I never should have fed.” That’s how Rupert’s older hippie pal, Carla (Amy Madigan), affectionately refers to him, and because this teen dropout is played by Keanu Reeves, you understand what she means. In this forgotten early chapter in Reeves’s career, Rupert and Carla decide to ditch their going-nowhere Rust Belt existence by taking his dad (Fred Ward) hostage and collecting a handsome ransom. The Prince of Pennsylvania is a thoroughly contrived and mediocre comedy, featuring Reeves with an incredibly unfortunate haircut. (Squint and he looks like the front man for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.) Still, you can see signs of the soulfulness and vulnerability he’d later harness in better projects. He’s very much a big puppy looking for a home.

23. The Last Time I Committed Suicide (1997) Every hip young ’90s actor had to get his Jack Kerouac on at some point, so it would seem churlish to deny Reeves his opportunity. He plays the best pal/drinking buddy of Thomas Jane’s Neal Cassady, and he looks like he’s enjoying doing the Kerouac pose. Other actors have done so more indulgently. And even though he’s heavier than he’s ever been in a movie, he looks great.

22. A Walk in the Clouds (1995) Keanu isn’t quite as bad in this as it seemed at the time. He’s miscast as a tortured war veteran who finds love by posing as the husband of a pregnant woman, but he doesn’t overdo it either: If someone’s not right for a part, you’d rather them not push it, and Keanu doesn’t. Plus, come on, this movie looks fantastic: Who doesn’t want to hang around these vineyards? Not necessarily worth a rewatch, but not the disaster many consider it.

21. The Replacements (2000) The other movie where Keanu Reeves plays a former quarterback, The Replacements is an adequate Sunday-afternoon-on-cable sports comedy. He plays Shane, the stereotypical next-big-thing whose career capsized after a disastrous bowl game — but fear not, because he’s going to get a second chance at gridiron glory once the pros go on strike and the greedy owners decide to hire scabs to replace them. Reeves has never been particularly great at playing regular guys — his talent is that he seems different, more special, than you or me — but he ably portrays a good man who’s had to live with disappointment. The Replacements pushes all the predictable buttons, but Reeves makes it a little more enjoyable than it would be otherwise.

20. Tune in Tomorrow (1990) A very minor but sporadically charming bauble about a radio soap-opera scriptwriter (Peter Falk) who begins chronicling an affair between a woman (Barbara Hershey) and her not-related-by-blood nephew on his show — and ultimately begins manipulating it. Tune in Tomorrow is light and silly and harmless, and Reeves shows up on time to set and looks extremely eager to impress. He blends into the background quietly, which is probably enough.

19. I Love You to Death (1990)

This Lawrence Kasdan comedy — the first film after an incredible four-picture run of Body Heat, The Big Chill, Silverado, and The Accidental Tourist — is mostly forgotten today, and for good reason: It’s a farce that mostly features actors screaming at each other and calling it “comedy.” But Reeves hits the right notes as a stoned hit man, and it’s amusing just to watch him share the screen with partner William Hurt. This could have been the world’s strangest comedy team!

18. Youngblood (1986)

This Rob Lowe hockey comedy is … well, a Rob Lowe hockey comedy, but we had to include it because a 21-year-old Reeves plays a dim-bulb, good-hearted hockey player with a French Canadian accent that’s so incredible that you really just have to see it. Imagine if this were the only role Keanu Reeves ever had? It’s sort of amazing. “AH-NEE-MAL!”

17. Destination Wedding (2018) An oddly curdled comedy about two wedding guests (Reeves and Winona Ryder) who have terrible attitudes about everything but end up bonding over their universal disdain for the planet and everyone on it. That sounds like a chore to watch, and at times it is, but the pairing of Reeves and Ryder has enough nostalgic Gen-X spark to it that you go along with them anyway. With almost any other actors you might run screaming away, but somehow, in spite of everything, you find them both likable.

16. Thumbsucker (2005)

The first film from 20th Century Women and Beginners’ Mike Mills, this mild but clever coming-of-age comedy adaptation of a Walter Kirn novel has Mills’s trademark good cheer and emotional honesty. Reeves plays the eponymous thumbsucker’s dentist — it’s funny to see Keanu play someone named “Dr. Perry Lyman” — who has the exact right attitude about both orthodontics and life. It’s a lived-in, funny performance, and a sign that Keanu, with the right director, could be a more than capable supporting character actor.

15. Something’s Gotta Give (2003) This Nancy Meyers romantic comedy was well timed in Reeves’s career. A month after the final Matrix film hit theaters, Something’s Gotta Give arrived, offering us a very different Keanu — not the intense, sci-fi action hero but rather a charming, low-key love interest who’s just the supporting player. He plays Julian Mercer, a doctor administering to shameless womanizer Harry Sanborn (Jack Nicholson), who’s dating a much younger woman (Amanda Peet), who just so happens to be the daughter of a celebrated playwright, Erica (Diane Keaton). We know who will eventually end up with whom in Something’s Gotta Give, but Reeves proves to be a great romantic foil, wooing Erica with a grown-up sexiness the actor didn’t possess in his younger years. We’re still not sure Meyers got the ending right: Erica should have stuck with him instead of Harry.

14. Man of Tai Chi (2013) This is the only movie that Reeves has directed, and what does it tell us about him? Well, it tells us he has watched a ton of Hong Kong action movies and always wanted to make one himself. And it’s pretty good! It’s technically proficient, it has a straightforward narrative, it has some excellent long-take action sequences (as we see in John Wick, Keanu isn’t a quick-cut guy; he likes to show his work), and it has a perfectly decent Keanu performance. We wouldn’t call him a visionary director by any stretch of the imagination. But we’d watch another one of these, definitely.

13. Dangerous Liaisons (1988)

Le Chevalier Raphael Danceny is merely a pawn in a cruel game being played by Marquise de Merteuil and Vicomte de Valmont, and so it makes some sense that the young man who played him, Keanu Reeves, is himself a little outclassed by the actors around him. This Oscar-winning drama is led by Glenn Close and John Malkovich, who have the wit and bite to give this 18th-century tale of thwarted love and bruised pride some real zest. By comparison, Danceny is practically a boy, unschooled in the art of manipulation, and Reeves provides the character with the appropriate youthful naïveté. He’s not a standout in Dangerous Liaisons, but he acquits himself well — especially near the end, when his blade fells Valmont, leaving him as one of the unlikely survivors in the film’s ruthless battle.

12. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee (2009) In this incredible showcase for Robin Wright, who plays a woman navigating a constrictive, difficult life with more grace and intelligence than anyone realizes, Reeves shows up late in a role that he’s played before: the younger guy who’s the perfect fit for an older woman figuring herself out. He hits the right notes and never overstays his welcome. As a romantic lead, less is more for Reeves.

11. Parenthood (1989) If you were an uptight suburban dad, like Steve Martin is in Ron Howard’s ensemble comedy, your nightmare would be that your beloved daughter gets involved with a doofus like Tod. Nicely played by Keanu Reeves, the character is the embodiment of every slacker screwup who’s going to just stumble through life, knocking over everything and everyone in his path. But as it turns out, he’s a lot kinder and mature than at first glance. Released six months after Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Parenthood showed mainstream audiences a more grown-up Reeves, and he’s enormously appealing — never more so than when advising a young kid that it’s okay to masturbate: “I told him that’s what little dudes do.”

10. Permanent Record (1988) A very lovely and sad movie that’s nearly forgotten today, Permanent Record, directed by novelist Marisa Silver, features Reeves as the best friend of a teenager who commits suicide and, along with the rest of their friends, has to pick up the pieces. For all of Reeves’s trademark reserve, there is very little restraint here: His character is devastated, and Reeves, impressively, hits every note of that grief convincingly. You see this guy and you understand why everyone wanted to make him a star. This is a very different Reeves from now, but it’s not necessarily a worse one.

9. Point Break (1991)

Just as Reeves’s reputation has grown over time, so too has the reputation of this loopy, philosophical crime thriller. Do people love Point Break ironically now, enjoying its over-the-top depiction of men seeking a spiritual connection with the world around them? Or do they genuinely appreciate the seriousness that director Kathryn Bigelow brought to her study of lonely souls looking for that next big rush — whether through surfing or robbing banks? The power of Reeves’s performance is that it works both ways. If you want to snicker at his melodramatic turn, fine — but if you want to marvel at the rapport his Johnny Utah forms with Patrick Swayze (Bodhi), who only feels alive when he’s living life to the extreme, then Point Break has room for you on the bandwagon.

8. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) and Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991) Before there was Beavis and Butt-Head, before there was Wayne and Garth, there were these guys: two Valley bozos who loved to shred and goof off. As Theodore Logan, Keanu Reeves found the perfect vessel for his serene silliness, playing well off Alex Winter’s equally clueless Bill. But note that Bill and Ted aren’t jerks — watch Excellent Adventure now and you’ll be struck by how incredibly sunny its humor is. Later in his career, Reeves would show off a darker, more brooding side, but here in Excellent Adventure (and its less-great sequel Bogus Journey) he makes blissful stupidity endearing.

7. The Gift (2000) This Sam Raimi film, with a Billy Bob Thornton script inspired by his mother, fizzled at the box office, despite a top-shelf cast: It’s probably not even the first film called The Gift you think of when we bring it up. But, gotta say, Reeves is outstanding in it, playing an abusive husband and all-around sonuvabitch who, nevertheless, might be unfairly accused of murder, a fact only a psychic (Cate Blanchett) understands. Reeves is full-on trailer trash here, but he brings something new and unexpected to it: a sort of bewildered malevolence, as if he’s moved by forces outside of his control. More of this, please.

6. My Own Private Idaho (1991)

Gus Van Sant’s landmark drama is chiefly remembered for River Phoenix’s nakedly anguished performance as Mike, a spiritually adrift gay hustler. (Phoenix’s death two years after My Own Private Idaho’s release only makes the portrayal more heartbreaking.) But his performance doesn’t work without a doubles partner, which is where Reeves comes in. Playing Scott, a fellow hustler and Mike’s best friend, Reeves adeptly encapsulates the mind-set of a young man content to just float through life. Unlike Mike, he knows he has a fat inheritance in his future — and also unlike Mike, he’s not gay, unable to share his buddy’s romantic feelings. Phoenix deservedly earned most of the accolades, but Reeves is terrific as an unobtainable object of affection — inviting, enticing, but also unknowable.

5. Speed (1994)

Years later, we still contend that Speed is a stupid idea for a movie that, despite all logic (or maybe because of the utter insanity of its premise), ended up being a total hoot. What’s clear is that the film simply couldn’t have worked if Reeves hadn’t approached the story with straight-faced sincerity: His L.A. cop Jack Traven is a ramrod-serious lawman who is going to do whatever it takes to save those bus passengers. Part of the pleasure of Speed is how it constantly juxtaposes the life-or-death stakes with the high-concept inanity — Stay above 50 mph or the bus will explode! — and that internal tension is expressed wonderfully by Reeves, who invests so intently in the ludicrousness that the movie is equally thrilling and knowingly goofy. And it goes without saying that he has dynamite chemistry with Sandra Bullock. Strictly speaking, you probably shouldn’t flirt this much when you’re sitting on top of a bomb — but it’s awfully appealing when they get their happy ending.

4. River’s Edge (1987) This film’s casting director said she cast Reeves as one of the dead-end kids who learn about a murder and do nothing “because of the way he held his body … his shoes were untied, and what he was wearing looked like a young person growing into being a man.” This was very much who the early Reeves was, and River’s Edge might be his darkest film. His vacancy here is not Zen cool … it’s just vacant, intellectually, ethically, morally, emotionally. Only in that void could Reeves be this terrifying. This is definitely a performance, but it never feels like acting. His magnetism was almost mystical.

3. John Wick (2014), John Wick: Chapter Two (2017), and John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum (2019)

If they hadn’t killed his dog, none of this would have happened. Firmly part of the “middle-aged movie stars playing mournful badasses” subgenre that’s sprung up since Taken, the John Wick saga provides Reeves with an opportunity to be stripped-down but not serene. He’s a lethal assassin who swore to his dead wife that he’d put down his arms — but, lucky for us, he reneges on that promise after he’s pushed too far. Whereas in his previous hits there was something detached about Reeves, here’s he locked in in such a way that it’s both delightful and a little unnerving. The 2014 original was gleefully over-the-top already, and the sequels have only amped up the spectacle, but his genuine fury and weariness felt new, exciting, a revelation. Turns out Keanu Reeves is frighteningly convincing as a guy who can kill many, many people.

2. A Scanner Darkly (2006)

In hindsight, it seems odd that Keanu Reeves and Richard Linklater have only worked together once — their laid-back vibes would seemingly make them well suited for one another. But it makes sense that the one film they’ve made together is this Philip K. Dick adaptation, which utilizes interpolated rotoscoping to tell the story of a drug cop (Reeves) who’s hiding his own addiction while living in a nightmarish police state. That wavy, floating style of animation nicely complements A Scanner Darkly’s sense of jittery paranoia, but it also deftly mimics Reeves’s performance, which seems to be drifting along on its own wavelength. If in the Matrix films, he manages to defeat the dark forces, in this film they’re too powerful, leading to a pretty mournful finale.

1. The Matrix (1999), The Matrix Reloaded (2003), and The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

“They had written something that I had never seen, but in a way, something that I’d always hoped for — as an actor, as a fan of science fiction.” That’s how Reeves described the sensation of reading the screenplay for The Matrix, which had been dreamed up by two up-and-coming filmmakers, Lana and Lilly Wachowski. Five years after Speed, he found his next great project, which would become the defining role of his career. Neo is the missing link between Ted’s Zen-like stillness and John Wick’s lethal efficiency, giving us a hero’s journey for the 21st century that took from Luke Skywalker and anime with equal aplomb. Never before had the actor been such a formidable onscreen presence — deadly serious but still loose and limber. Even when the sequels succumbed to philosophical ramblings and overblown CGI, Reeves commanded the frame. We always knew that he seemed like a cool, left-of-center guy. The Matrix films gave him an opportunity to flex those muscles in a true blockbuster.

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves movies #ranking #vulture

[rkjoohyvn]

NAME  bae joohyun NICKNAME  baechu REASON FOR NAME her last name, and a play on the word for napa cabbage BIRTHDAY  march 29, 1996 AGE  23 GENDER  female PLACE OF BIRTH  sydney, australia PLACES LIVED SINCE  from birth to 12: sydney, australia / present: seoul, south korea PARENTS’ NAMES, BACKGROUNDS, OCCUPATIONS

father: bae hyungki, 56, professor. was the lead singer and guitarist in a band in high school and college; eventually ended when all the members grew older and had families to take care of. owned a music shop in sydney, but had to close it down due to slow business. instead, became a professor in music at university of sydney. when his father had a stroke, he moved his family to seoul, where his father lived with his korean wife, so that he could help take care of the aging man.

mother: jin yuna, 49, flight attendant. a former beauty queen, she and yuuto met at a college party as the only two sober people in the entire frat house. they’d spent the entire night talking until the sun rose. after retiring from the pageant circuit, she became a flight attendant for qantas airlines, eventually transferring to korean air after the family moved to seoul. she is currently estranged to yuuto and his family due to having been cheating for years and having a second family.

NUMBER OF SIBLINGS ( 1 )

abigail bae ( jooeun ), 28, announcer. originally meant to be the “big name musician” of the family, she relinquished that burden after finding she could not sing, and hated the way the guitar calloused her fingers. instead, she became an announcer, and is currently employed by sbs as a morning newscaster. she is engaged to jeon baekho, a hospital director. they both live in hannam-dong, yongsan-gu, seoul.

OTHER IMPORTANT FIGURES

family pet: dubu, 11, pyrenean mountain dog. he was a gift to joohyun from her father on her eleventh birthday. she singlehandedly took on the responsibility of feeding and training him, and has loved him all the while. tofu is getting quite old now, and has become blind in one eye due to cataracts.

grandmother: jin okbin, deceased. a tough but loving woman, she helped raise joohyun and jooeun whenever her mother was away because of work. she helped instill confidence and morals into joohyun, and would support joohyun’s every whim, from vowing to become the prime minister of australia to wanting to reincarnate as a rock. jin okbin passed away in february of 2004 without ever discovering her daughter’s infidelities.

RELATIONSHIP WITH FAMILY  joohyun was very close with her family until she discovered that her mother had been cheating on her father for years and that she has a whole other family they never knew about; she is currently unsure of how she feels about her mother---she misses her, but doesn’t want to admit it. she moved back into her father’s home, partly because she could no longer afford rent on her own, but also to help take care of her father, who had fallen into quite the slump. although the experience had been a tragic one, she, her father, and her sister have become even closer than they were before.  HAPPIEST MEMORY ( 2005 ) her father brings dubu home for the first time / ( 2006 )  began taking hip-hop lessons / ( 2015 ) accepted into k-arts CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ( 2004 ) her grandmother passed away ( 2018 ) discovered her mother’s infidelity and lies

〈 PHYSICAL 〉 +

HEIGHT  162 cm / 5′2″ WEIGHT  50 kg / 110 lbs BUILD slim but toned, athletic NATIONALITY  australian ETHNICITY  korean DISABILITIES none COMPLEXION  clear & bright; a small tattoo on her upper left ribcage of australia ( x ) FACE SHAPE oval DISTINGUISHING FACIAL FEATURES large eyes, downward facing lips, facial symmetry HAIR COLOR  naturally black USUAL HAIR STYLE  down, no bangs, natural off-center split EYE COLOR  dark brown GLASSES? CONTACTS? none STYLE OF DRESS/TYPICAL OUTFIT(S)  very casual and laid back, t-shirts that are too big, distressed denim, boyfriend & bomber jackets TYPICAL STYLE OF SHOES sneakers, flats HEALTH  in good health, athletic GROOMING  typical five step korean skincare routine, showers before bed ACCENT? australian accent when speaking english, very slight accent while speaking korean UNIQUE MANNERISMS/PHYSICAL HABITS running fingers through hair, or playing with it in general; standing with hands on hips, nearly toppling over when laughing too hard ATHLETIC? yes; used jogs every weekday morning, do taekwondo every monday, tuesday, and friday nights; after getting signed she no longer jogs every morning, but works out at the gym and dances for hours; she continues to attend tkd lessons on saturday nights

〈 INTELLECT 〉 +

LEVEL OF EDUCATION  graduated high school in 2015, currently on leave at korea national university of arts LEVEL OF SELF ESTEEM previously 10/10; currently at about a 5/10 due to being surrounded by such talented people, but is slowly building it back up GIFTS/TALENTS singing, tap, hip-hop dance, guitar, taekwondo SHORTCOMINGS  a short attention span, too impatient for theory STYLE OF SPEECH  can be abrasive and blunt, very casual, curses a lot LANGUAGES fluent in korean, english, and japanese “LEFT BRAIN” OR “RIGHT BRAIN” THINKER?  right brain ARTISTIC? yes MATHEMATICAL? barely MAKES DECISIONS BASED MOSTLY ON EMOTIONS, OR ON LOGIC?  emotional NEUROSES  perfectionism LIFE PHILOSOPHY  "work hard, play harder.” RELIGIOUS STANCE  barely christian CAUTIOUS OR DARING?  daring MOST SENSITIVE ABOUT/VULNERABLE TO  lack of creativity; that she can’t write her own music; family is her biggest weakness OPTIMIST OR PESSIMIST?  optimist EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT?  extrovert LEVEL OF COMFORT WITH TECHNOLOGY  basic knowledge of technology; knows how to use her devices effectively but doesn’t know what to do with them if they were to stop working

〈 RELATIONSHIPS 〉 +

CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS  single SEXUAL ORIENTATION  heterosexual PAST RELATIONSHIPS

( 5 ) nearly gave her father a heart attack when she came to him with stars in her eyes, yelling “dad, i’ve got a boyfriend!” the furthest they ever went was calling each other by boyfriend and girlfriend,, and held hands once. the infatuation ended when preschool did.

( 16-18 ) perhaps it wasn’t the greatest idea to date the lead singer and lead guitarist of the band, but she’d thought it was real. unfortunately, their relationship ended when the band did, and no one really knows whether or not it was because they broke up.

( 19 ) met at an inter-university meeting where there were instant sparks. for weeks, it was passionate and amazing and it was like fireworks every time, but after a few months, it all began to fade. they went separate ways after breaking up, and haven’t spoken since.

LEVEL OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE  relatively inexperienced STORY OF FIRST KISS  she was at a friend’s birthday party and they decided to play a little game. the spin of a glass bottle decided the fate of her first kiss, and it was gross. he’d tried to stick his tongue in her mouth and that earned him a slap across the face. STORY OF LOSS OF VIRGINITY  instant sparks are a hard thing to ignore, and she’d given herself to him after meeting him for the first time that night. it had been awkward at first and painful, but it was passionate and exciting. he was the first and only person she’d ever been with in such an intimate setting. A SOCIAL PERSON? very MOST COMFORTABLE AROUND (PERSON)  jinyoung, mason, nana OLDEST FRIEND  mason HOW DOES HE/SHE THINK OTHERS PERCEIVE HIM/HER?  in admiration of her skills and talents, respect for her take-charge attitude HOW DO OTHERS ACTUALLY PERCEIVE HIM/HER?  probably as someone overbearing, can be bossy and mean-spirited

〈 VOCATION 〉 +

PROFESSION   dog daycare employee, student trainee PAST OCCUPATIONS  working at her father’s music store PASSIONS  singing, dancing, guitar ATTITUDE TOWARDS CURRENT JOB  proud of how she achieved trainee status, but still overwhelmed by everything ATTITUDE TOWARDS CURRENT COWORKERS, BOSSES, EMPLOYEES  she looks at all her sunbaes with stars in her eyes, especially the girls of eclipse; she follows all the rules and regulations given to her by coaches and trainers, so they probably have a positive impression of her; she doesn’t believe she’s on katie lee’s radar yet SALARY  below minimum wage and thankful for free food and rent from her father and sister

〈 SECRETS 〉 +

PHOBIAS  losing her family, dying as an unknown LIFE GOALS  to be able to provide for herself and take care of her father in his old age DREAMS  to become a household name GREATEST FEARS  failure MOST ASHAMED OF  her weaknesses MOST EMBARRASSING THING EVER TO HAPPEN TO HIM/HER  fighting with her ex-boyfriend on stage and breaking up and crying about it in front of a small crowd COMPULSIONS  playing with her hair and/or any jewelry she’s wearing, talking over others, giving advice even when it’s not asked for OBSESSIONS  music, old rock bands, records, MYNAME SECRET HOBBIES  nothing secret SECRET SKILLS nothing secret, though most don’t know she’s a skilled tap dancer/4th degree black belt PAST SEXUAL TRANSGRESSIONS none? CRIMES COMMITTED   trespassing WHAT HE/SHE MOST WANTS TO CHANGE ABOUT HIS/HER CURRENT LIFE  she wants to debut! WHAT HE/SHE MOST WANTS TO CHANGE ABOUT HIS/HER PHYSICAL APPEARANCE  nothing at all~

〈 DETAILS &. QUIRKS 〉 +

DAILY ROUTINE ( AS OF JAN 2019 )

kt’s trainee schedule can be found here

taekwondo lesson on saturday nights

family time on sundays

NIGHT OWL OR EARLY BIRD?  a little bit of both LIGHT OR HEAVY SLEEPER?  heavy sleeper FAVORITE FOOD dad’s bulgogi with hanwoo beef LEAST FAVORITE FOOD  bitter foods FAVORITE BOOK   the maze runner series LEAST FAVORITE BOOK  text books lol FAVORITE MOVIE  the marvel cinematic universe/disney movies LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE  none she can think of FAVORITE SONG  80′s rock bands/pop songs LEAST FAVORITE SONG  none she can think of COFFEE OR TEA?  tea CRUNCHY OR SMOOTH PEANUT BUTTER?  crunchy TYPE OF CAR MOTORCYCLE HE/SHE DRIVES 2004 honda cbr600rr LEFTY OR RIGHTY? right-handed FAVORITE COLOR  red CUSSER?  yes SMOKER? DRINKER? DRUG USER?  drinks, but usually not too heavily BIGGEST REGRET  wasting two years of her life in a band in high school PETS?  dubu, her 11-year-old pyrenean mountain dog VOTED most likely to become famous

#.;* canon ; #( i've had this in my drafts since seola was first accepted into rookie sa;kdhgou )

[ask-omegaverse-bangtan]

Jihae's Backstory

(finally, after so long. i am done typing up JIhae's backstory! ENjoy~!!)

*1992; Seoul, South Korea*

Rain hits the ground hard, wetting the streets and sidewalks as people rush inside restaurants and bars to seek shelter, all expect two people who continue down the street carrying and protecting a small box. The two people walk up the steps of a house and place the small box on the stoop out of the rain then one looks at the other.

“Are…..Are you sure about this? I-I mean, leaving him here?” the hesitant one asks, looking down at the box with worried eyes. The other person holds the hesitant one’s hand tightly, pulling them from their kneeling position then gives a sad smile while ringing the doorbell. The two run off as the lights inside the house come on and dogs barking can be heard. The door opens revealing a man in dark blue pj bottoms with a matching top who has dark brown hair, brown eyes and tan skin. Behind the man is another man with black hair, large brown eyes and pale skin wearing the same pjs as the first male but only in purple.

“Who is it Jiyoung?” the second man asks, rubbing his eyes trying to get the sleep out of them. The first man, Jiyoung, looks outside and around, but shrugs not seeing anyone then starts to close the door but freezes hearing tiny cries. The two men look down to see the box and the man in purple kneels next to it. He opens it and his eyes widen seeing what is in the box. Inside is a tiny baby, which looks only to be a few weeks old, wrapped tightly in a thick blanket to keep it warm and a note attached to him. Jiyoung grabs the note while the other man holds the baby.

“’Dear sir or ma’am, please take care of our son. We cannot afford to raise him and we hope you will give him love. He does not have a name as fear of us getting attached. Thank you’ these people just left their child….how could someone?” the man in blue says and looks at the other male, “Ryohae, what should-“

The brunette male stops and gives a small and loving smile at the sight if the raven haired male, Ryohae, cradling and rocking the baby while smiling at him. Jiyoung walks into the house after grabbing the box and shutting the door then makes his way over to the other male.

“Look at him Younggie~. He is beautiful~” Ryohae says and smiles more as the baby grabs his finger. The brunette smiles and rubs the baby’s cheek with his finger then looks at the other male who has hopeful eyes and the brunette knows exactly what he wants.

“Ryo, are you sure? I know we have talked about it, but still,” Jiyoung says, a tad bit nervous about the response.

“Yes Younggie, I love you and I want a family with you. Please honey?” Ryohae says looking at the baby, “he has nowhere else to go either.”

The brunette nods and holds the smaller male close to him then they both look down at the baby. The two males smiles as the child opens his eyes and he coos adorably.

“He still needs a name though,” Jiyoung says and looks at his partner. The raven haired male thinks then smiles at baby who coos and the perfect name pops into his head.

“Song Jihae. It’s a combination of both of our names,” Ryohae says and is kissed by the other male.

*1996; Seoul, South Korea*

“Careful, Jiyoung. I don’t wanna go to the hospital today,” Ryohae says from the bottom of the ladder and he gives a worried glance at his partner at the top of it. Jiyoung finishes putting up the decorations and starts to carefully get off the ladder.

“What do you think~?” the brunette asks gesturing to everything, “think our boy will like it~?”

The raven haired male smiles and nods, putting an arm around the brunette’s waist. The two look over hearing tiny footsteps approaching them and they see a four year old with shaggy brown hair and large brown eyes wearing a pink shirt with white overalls over it.

“Jihae, what are you doing up baby?” Ryohae asks and picks the child up, “you are supposed to be napping for later.”

Jihae snuggles close to his father and looks up with his large eyes then gives an innocent smile.

“Jiji wanna help daddy and papa! Jiji don’t need nappy no more!” the four year old says and hugs the raven haired male’s neck. Jiyoung smiles at the two and hears the doorbell. The brunette opens the door and smiles seeing the people for the party.

“Jiji, look who’s here~” Jiyoung says, opening the door more to let the toddler see his friends and family. Jihae squeals and runs to his friends then the group of four year olds run to the backyard to play. The adults smile and watch over the children playing.

“Any thoughts on how he will react to your surprise?” one woman asks, grabbing a drink from the cooler. Ryohae looks at Jihae, who is giggling, then gives a small smile and looks at the woman.

“I think he’ll be excited, but Jiyoung and I are telling him later after everyone leaves,” the raven haired male says and sips his soda.

*after the party*

Jiyoung smiles watching Jihae play with his new toys and he bends down to pick up the 4 year old.

“Come on Jiji, time to go to dreamland~” the brunette says and holds the child close to him then carries him upstairs. Jihae cuddles close to his father and rubs his eyes with his tiny hands. Ryohae follows behind them with a soft smile on his face and he gets in front of the two to open the door. The raven haired male goes to the dresser as his partner gets the child out of his play clothes. The two adults work as a team to get the toddler ready for bed and they sit on the edges of said bed.

“Did you have a good birthday Jiji~?” Jiyoung asks, grinning when his child nods, “well, papa and I have a surprise for you~.”

“What daddy~!? What Jiji surprise~?!” Jihae asks, giggling.

“Papa and I are gonna adopt another baby~. You’re gonna be a big brother~” the brunette says and his smile gets bigger as the 4 year old hugs them while squealing. The two adults look at each other with matching smiles and they hold hands.

*2008; Gangnam-Gu, Seoul, South Korea*

Jihae sits by himself at a desk watching as his classmates talk with one another and he continues to read his notes for an upcoming test.

“KYAH, IT’S HIM~!” one girl yells breaking the brunette male’s concentration as she looks at her phone with her friends, “He is SOOOO hot~!! Plus he is SOOO rich~!!”

Jihae rolls his eyes and continues to look over his notes until his phone went off then he pulls it out and looks at the text. His eyes widen and he starts packing up his things into his backpack right as the teacher walks into the classroom.

“Mr. Son, what do you think you are doing? Class is beginning,” the teacher says, causing other students to laugh then she notices the look on his face, “what’s wrong?”

“i-I need to go to the hospital! M-My brother collapsed!” Jihae says, making the laughter stop and become silent in the room. The teacher nods and watches as the brunette male rushes out of the classroom.

*At the hospital*

Jihae looks around the waiting room and sees his family. Ryohae stands up and hugs the eldest child tightly while trying to be calm. “Papa, what happened?” the brunette male asks sitting down from them. “We don’t know exactly. Minhyuk’s school called us and said that during gym, he sudden collapsed and unresponsive. They called an ambulance and we headed here after picking Ryuhyun and Taejin from school and daycare,” the raven haired male says, petting the hair of the sleeping 5 year old next to him, “your dad is back with Minhyuk and the doctor now.”

Jihae nods and holds his younger sister in his arms as they wait. An hour later, Jiyoung walks out to the waiting room looking much older than he is and sits next to his husband.  

“Dad….what’s going on?” Jihae asks, reaching over and puts his hand on his father’s hand.

“The doctor says he has a bone marrow disease……he needs several bone marrow transplant surgeries,” the older brunette says and squeezes his eldest child’s hand.

“Honey….we can’t afford that along with our bills….we wouldn’t be able to get food,” Ryohae says, worried.

“We will just have to be careful with our money. It’s the only way,” Jiyoung says and kisses his husband’s hand with a weak smile. The 18 year old watches his parents then looks down at his sleeping sister.

“I’ll take the kids home, you stay and update me,” the brunette adult says and begins to stand up when he is pushed down.

“I’ll take them home, dad. You and papa stay with Minhyuk,” Jihae says and hold his youngest sibling while his sister wakes up.

“Are you sure? We don’t know when we will be home,” the raven haired male says with a worried glance at the eldest.

“It’s not like I haven’t watched them overnight before. I’ll be fine,” the 18 year old says and smiles as his sister, who is fully awake, holds his hand tightly.

“Ok Jiji, I have some money on me for takeout tonight,” Jiyoung says and places money into the eldest child’s hand.

*A week later*

Jihae walks home from school, thinking of ways to help his parents make money to pay for his brother’s surgery. He pauses at a crosswalk and sees a “help wanted” sign outside of a building. The brunette quickly crosses the street and he walks into the building. He heads down a flight of stairs and is surprised to see what looks like a small speakeasy.

“Can I help you?” a person asks and Jihae turns around to see a man walking up to him with two petite males on either side of him dressed in slightly revealing clothes. The brunette blushes and stands up tall, pushing his shoulders back.

“I-I would like a job please!” he says and his blush darkens as the two petite males giggle. The man walks up to him and places his hands on his chin, moving his head side to side.

“Well, aren’t you a beauty~?” the man says and starts feeling the 18 year old up, “slim waist but wide hips~.”

Jihae stands still as the man touches all over then closes his eyes as he gets close to his face again. This is for his family; he needs to remind himself that. The brunette opens his eyes when the hands come off of his body and he sees the man smirking.

“Yes, I think you’ll fit in here just lovely~” the man says and puts his arms around the petite males’ waists, “you start tonight at 8. Don’t be late~”

*that night*

Jihae packs his backpack with a change of clothes and he kisses his sister’s forehead. He walks out of the room to see Ryohae on the couch watching TV and he kisses his father’s cheek.

“I still can’t believe you have a job at night…..I’m worried for when you get off later,” the raven haired male says and holds the 18 year old’s hand. Jihae smiles and squeezes his father’s hand while standing up and fixing his backpack over his shoulders.

“Don’t worry papa. I will be fine. I love you guys,” the brunette says and leaves the house. He takes a deep breath and he hops on the bike then heads to the building. The 18 year old looks at his phone and sees that it is only 7:30 then he heads inside. He is surprised to be meet with loud music inside the place and sees his boss by the bar watching over the dancers then sees him look over at the entrance. “Oh, the little cutie is here early~. I will have one of the dancers show you the dressing room so you can get ready. I have a regular client requesting a new dancer for him,” the man says and motions for one dancer to walk up. A young man walks up with a soft smile and has Jihae follow behind him toward the back. “The boss says he wants you in the VIP area. You are very lucky” the dancer says with a soft voice and looks through the costumes then pulls out a baby pink one for the 18 year old to change into. The brunette quickly changes and is shown where the hall where the VIP rooms are practicing what he has to do and say. Jihae walks down a hall with music and lights blaring behind him. He stops in front of a door then looks up to see the words “private VIP room 1” written on it. He opens the door and sees a young man sitting on the couch with his shirt undone at the top few buttons with bottles of alcohol on the table, 2 empty and 3 full. Jihae closes the door behind him, gaining the attention of the young man, and walks over swaying his hips the entire time to the man then sits in his lap.

“Hello stranger, what can I do for you~?” the brunette asks like he practiced and he squeaks as he is pinned under the man.

“I want you~” the man says and starts licking his neck. Jihae whines and closes his eyes, letting pleasure take over his body.

“w-what should I call you?” the brunette questions and moans as he is grinded against.

“You may call me….J-Hope~” the man says and begins to take off his clothes.

*3 years later; 2011, Gangnam, Seoul, South Korea*

Jihae sits in the bar and he sips on a drink the bartender made for him. He hears someone walk down the steps and sees J-Hope walk in with a big smile on his face upon seeing the now blonde male. “Hey you~” the raven haired male says and sits next to the blonde and takes his hand. Jihae smiles lightly and rubs his hand with his thumb. Over the last 3 years, he has gotten to know this mysterious male very well and has fallen in love with him….only the raven haired male doesn’t know yet. “You ready to go back to your room~?” the blonde asks and gets up from the stool. The two men go to the private room where they first meet and the blonde sits on the couch with his legs crossed. J-Hope keeps standing making Jihae raise an eyebrow at him. “Is something wrong Hope?” the blonde asks and holds his hand. The raven haired male sits next to him and tightens his grip on his hand. “I-I wanna ask you something important….” The male says and holds the other close. “What’s wrong?” Jihae asks a little worried. The raven haired male takes a deep breath and looks into his eyes.

“I want you to leave this place and come move in with me…..as my boyfriend,” J-Hope says which catches the blonde off guard. Jihae looks into his eyes to see if he is kidding and all he sees is love and admiration.

“Y-Yes!” Jihae says and hugs him tightly while kissing him, “oh, hope, I am so happy~!!”

“Actually….my name is Hoseok….Jung Hoseok,” the raven haired male says and smiles as he is kissed gently

*Present day*

Jihae sits up in bed and he rubs his eyes. He looks around and sees that he is in Hoseok and his apartment. The blue haired male gets out of bed and smiles lightly seeing who is on the couch. Jaehyun and Minjun are asleep, cuddling up to one another and he quietly heads back to the bedroom. He leans against the door and puts a hand on his belly.

“Don’t worry baby…..i will take care of you,” Jihae says and lies back down.

[aparoxysm]

All the questions for Liz, birch you asked for it

THIS IS GONNA TAKE ME 200 YEARS I HATE YOU.

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Answered: Her name is Elizabeth Holt, because the first RP I ever used her in was a period RP dated back thousands of years, so I needed something dated and nice, something that REALLY doesn’t fit her character because I wanted to show how much her parents didn’t really know her / connect with her. They would call her Elizabeth at the time and she’d want to vomit haha. Also it had plenty of nick names I could use for other RPs / modern day. Now that it’s 2017 though, I wish I’d chosen a more ethnic last name for her. I grabbed Holt because at the time she was Phoebe Tonkin, and at the time, her and Claire Holt were best friends. It was just easy.

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Okay so I went through the list again with more determination this time. The Bully, The Former Teen Rebel, Determinator, Consummate Liar,  The Gadfly,  Hair-Trigger Temper, Satisfied Street Rat, High School Hustler,  Jaded Washout, Little Miss Badass, The Munchausen!!!, Person of Mass Destruction, Rebellious Spirit, Schoolyard Bully All Grown Up.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

Answered:  Like. This is hard to answer because in the conventional way, no, she didn’t. But she’s not so scarred by it she’s bitter or hateful of it or anything. In honesty, falling under “The Satisfied Street Rat” trope, she pretty much wouldn’t have it any other way. Her mom had her at like 16/17, and she was a roadie at the time, totally living it up with all things inappropriate for a girl whos not even legal at the time. They had no money, she was born in the back of a car, before she was even able to walk and talk, her mom and her had stayed with random blokes all over the country. For a while, her mom was hooked on oxy, and once she gave that up, she became hooked on boyfriends. Like I give credit to the only reason why Liz is still alive, is because learning to survive was the first lesson she was ever taught through neglect. Her fond memories include always spending Christmas getting drunk with her mother, starting at age fourteen, and travelling to new places all over the country with her, making up funny stories about what each town’s history was. People watching and making fun of those more fortunate, watching crappy late night tv shows and experiencing her firsts with her mom (first period, first shaving experience, first shop lifting gig). The bad memories mostly revolve around her mom picking really gross, really weird men and leaving her alone with them. They were so creepy it pushed her to get out of the house, where tbh, Liz fell into worse situtations.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Answered: I mean, even if her mom has chosen many things over the ultimate care for Liz — (cigarettes, booze, men, drugs) — they still have an unbelievably unbreakable bond. Now that her mom is older, she’s calmed down a bit, and she has a lot more wise moments for Liz. To explain lessons she never had while Liz was growing up and not understanding. Even if her mom drives her crazy and still acts like an eighteen year old sometimes, Liz would still drop everything to help her if the situation called for it. Which it does. Often.As for her dad, she has no idea who or where he is. Has no interest either.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

Answered: Nope.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

She’s not studious at all, she often finds it hard to concentrate, and being dyslexic, she kind of just avoided work rather than admitted she had trouble with it. She skipped class a lot really early on, and got sent home from her first day of high school in a new state for being a shit head. School was not her friend. She didn’t like any subjects except I think maybe one because she had a hot teacher probably. She hated all the classes she had to do work in.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

Yes and no. She had a lot of people she hung out and spent time with, but none of them actually reached wholesome friendship. She didn’t really trust that any of them really cared about her. The first friend she ever made was Tori. And their friendship went beyond mutual hobbies and rebel causes. They became close like family and still are.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

She was never in one place long enough to have a pet. She likes them though. Always jealous of people who had dogs.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

Yeah for sure. She actually gets on with animals really well.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

Not really, not at all. But then she became a mom so oops? She’s that inappropriate aunt that everyone wants.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

Nope and nope.

12. What is their favourite food?

Mexican food. Spesifically tacos and burritos and tequila. Extra guac.

13. What is their least favourite food?

Anything healthy. And she’s not really a sweet tooth either.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

I mean once she had a very nice dinner at Taco bell where her and Gus got into a physical and were banned for life. She was so mad at him that night that when she saw that he was in her little slice of heavan at the same time she was, she grabbed his food and smashed it in his face. He threw his drink at her. They ended up brawling and getting held for a few hours at the police station. She was so mad. But it also is one of their most defining moments as a couple.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

She’s not a GOOD cook, but she knows how to make a few whatever meals. She’s had to look after herself for a long time so she kind of just figured out how to make stuff work. I’m convinced there’s a lot of things she does wrong though, that someone will find out in her adult life like, “what you do this?” and she just kanye shrugs like “yeah i always have why”

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

Enemies. She collects enemies. Also Taco Bell loyalty cards.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

Oh hell yeah. She takes so many dumb photos on her phone for blackmail / to secretly love later of the people around her. Her gallery is FULL of photos of people she cares about. And selfies but not the cool kind, the dumb kind. Like stuffing tampons up her nose or using her own hair as a moustache kind of selfies. Or “look at this fat asshole gorging on 200 burritos behind me” selfies because shes such a mean shit.

She also has the photo collage that her and Gus started when they moved from sixth. It’s been plastered a lot of different places, and now, probably sits in a box because she’s moved yet again.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Books: none, she hates reading. unless its a trash magazine.Music: rock, 80s hits, super inappropriate rap.Tv Shows: trashy reality tv.Films: crazy stupid love or nothing. dont ask. its a long running joke.Video games; the one kind where you can brutally murder someone and get points for it. (she probably loves wreaking havoc in gta lbh.)

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

Books: anything that is educational or fictional.Music: love songs, country.Tv Shows: ones with really intense plot lines you need to pay attention to 100%.Films: anything that is not crazy stupid love.Video games; ones that involve lots of attention, she gets bored too quickly, also any that she doesnt win at.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

Not really. But then she’s with / has a child to a Broadway, almost gay, sings-for-a-living dude so. Like she puts up with it as much as Liz puts up with anything. Her favourite songs are definitely completely unrelatable random hits too. I mean like, Waka Flocka Flame’s “No hands” is probably her jam. And she can rap it all perfectly for no apparent reason LOL. She gets TURNT. Also probably Black Skinhead.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

HAHAHAHA :’)

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

She’s always been creative with her insults and usually completely from left feild. She hits hard with her insults. She also is down to bitch behind backs.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

HA no. She can’t even remember what she had for dinner the night before.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

She’s all limbs, a kicker, a pusher, a talker and a snorer. She’s a mess when it comes to sleeping, and she also sleeps like a damn log. She often sleeps naked, but if not, then at least in a random tee. And can probably sleep on anything as well.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

When people fall over or hurt themselves, when people think they’re hot shit, when Miles does something dumb, when Gus does something even dumber, when Leo gets hit on by woman and looks like he wants to die, when they get up to drunk shenanigans. I think she’s got an awesome sense of humour personally, she kind of can find the humour in anything. Even the worst of situations. That’s her coping mechanism. Laugh it out so you don’t cry. She and her think she’s fucking hilarious.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

She go out of her way to socialize, she goes out of her way to spend time with the people she cares about, she drinks, she punches people’s arms more, she smiles a lot.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

Ugh lots. Her daily life, being the biggest joke. Her ability to lose every job she has. That she can’t really do anything right. But she hides all of this, doesn’t even admit it to her closests. They don’t need to know how she feels like a failure every day.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

That she’s going to fuck her son up. That Gus is going to realize one day that he deserves better and he’ll leave her. Bonus: and he’ll take Miles with him. That Leo will get himself into something she can’t get him out of. That Tori will disappear off the face of the planet one day because of Cas and she’ll have not even a clue of where to find her or how to get her back.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

On the up front? Make fun of them for it, use it against them, plaster it for the whole world to mock. On the down low? Fight it. Fight that fear and show them that she’s been through hell and back, they can get past this too. She’ll be their backbone if they can’t stand by their own.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Man, she used to work out so much on Sixth. But I think having Leo with her all the time was an incentive, like that dude is packin! Then she got lazy, she met Gus, she ate lots and had Miles. Now she’s working on dropping the weight she hasn’t been bothered to do anything about for ages.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Way too much. She’s either wildly fun, feels invincible and completely full of surprises or she’s all that but BAD. She gets aggressive and destructive, abusive and angry. It’s a mess. She often likes to do stuff about things she’s been avoiding thinking about while sober. When drunk; thats when she likes to teach people the lesson she believes they deserve. She ditches other drunk people, she aint got the patience. She’s just like “man see ya never i got burritos to eat”

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

In Sixth, she was a lot more feminine. She wore blouses and heels and pencil skirks becuase of her work. Then once she gave up that job, I imagined her in a lot more yoga pants and tanks because she had no where to be. But now, she’s gone back to how she used to be growing up. She’s a lot more tom boy, sneakers and shorts, ripped denim and holey faded shirts. Gelly band bracelets, hair ties and real 90s stuff.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

None sometimes. Black boyshorts other times.

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

She’s tall, and has a very boyish figure. No defined hips and gangly limbs. She used to have tiny boobs but now that she’s had Miles, theyre bigger and shes not real sure what to do about them. But she wears a lot of baggy shirts so who the fuck would notice? She doesn’t really care about her body, it’s a meat sack, it’s never let her down so far.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

Guilty pleasure: Actually venting about legit things and being listened to. Unguilty pleasure: jamming hardcore to shitty rap music. Physicall fighting people.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Avoiding the question, keeping important information to herself, running away from her problems, avoiding confrontation, making enemies, causing arguments and fights, being hated immediately. Her hobbies include drinking and spending time with the fam. She can’t sing but she does. Unapologetically.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Not at all. She’s dyslexic and in denial. So she avoids reading lengthy things.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Compassion and kindness for no reason. She doesn’t get it, and wishes she could be more like that. She wishes she didn’t find a way to fuck things up so easily. She wishes she was good at literally anything that would give her a good career.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

None of the above.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Definitely all of these things. 

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Heterosexual.

Things she finds attractive; the ability to keep up with her, or match her sense of humour, people with crude language and behavior, wild spirits, people who arent afraid of being judged, bad boys, people who actually get her.

What she wants in a relationship; chaos, humanity, humor, dick jokes

What she needs in a relationship; stability, trust, resilience

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

a) Be a good mom b) Don’t give up on the people she cares about c) Don’t be her mother

I don’t know if she has anything to sacrifice tbh. Her secret ambition though would be to go to school and get a real job, but I doubt she ever will.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

No, she think its all a pile of shit. She thinks religious people are a laughing stock and can’t wait for them to die and realize there’s no such thing as God or heaven.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

Summer. She likes the dry and hot, loves her shorts, love that she tans. She complains a lot about the cold, she hates it. 

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

An uncultured, uneducated, offensive, insensitive asshole. Which for the most part she is, but what people don’t realize is that she was never really given the opportunity to have a real education or proper nurture. She missed out on a lot of valuable lessons that other people have learned the conventional way, and she learned everything she does know, the hard way. She was lied to and abused and neglected most of her childhood, she grew up thinking that the ugly in the world was normal. So that’s the parts of the world she’s now made up of.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

Usually never. But sometimes, every once and a while, she’ll meet a character that is of the same code. They get on like a house on fire, and it’s always an awesome surprise. Her first impressions always reflect her accurately, yeah. She’s always being dumb or offensive or both.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

Really inappropriately. She’s the one who steals wedding gifts, or drinks the whole open bar, or causes a scene during speeches, or hooks up with the groom, or gets busted on the dance floor while tripping balls, etc. She’s never been made for corperate or formal events. She thinks dressing up is stupid.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

Oh yeah. She loves parties a lot for someone who generally hates everyone. But she likes being in the thick of it, meeting new people to argue with or hate on. She likes getting obliterated and doing dumb shit to pass the time. She’s always the one who drags people along haha.

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

The photo collage that her and Gus made, that’s been through every move with them. And her pride. Definitely that.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Her ego, some sunglasses that make her look super fly, cash for liquor and a burrito, tampons, mace spray and her keys.

Things she always leaves behind: her dignity.

#ch: liz #oceanicglow