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wiiwarechronicles · 1 year

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oooh i am so curious about your siren lore now, please tell us about it, it sounds really cool so far :00

Putting this ALL under read more because it is long and is sort of just me infodumping. Regardless I’m glad you asked because I LOVEEE my fish folk. TL;DR: sirens are weird and territorial and I don’t think fundy will ever meet a partial siren besides his mom and daughter.

Sirens are a psychic species. Any music they create (be it singing or playing instruments) can make people feel intense unexplainable emotions. A lot of siren based incidents involved ship crews killing each other or jumping overboard because of their songs. Certain Sirens specialize in specific emotions! Sally for example would make people overwhelmingly happy with her singing, almost to the point of mania. Fundy’s piano playing is much more melancholic and uncomfortable. It’s common for a siren’s specialty to change after a big life moment! (I have no idea if Granola inherited this ability, maybe if I think of something cool she’ll get it)

Sirens also have natural clairvoyance and dream walking abilities, which they can hone in through training and meditation. Controlling it takes a lot of hard work and so most just opt to learning how to put up mental barriers so they don’t have to deal with it. Without proper training or blocking, visions are heavily unreliable and much more vague. Unfortunately fundy was never taught how to do either so his brain just kind of runs wild and torments him. He’s had these types of dreams his entire life but they only became noticeable to him after doomsday broke his brain, when his mental health starts to improve they ease on him.

Sirens are also VERY tight knit and territorial. There aren’t that many at all left as sirens were thought to be crazed murderers killing people every chance they got and were hunted to near extinction out of fear. There r small groups all over the world and they use their magic to drive humans away from their waters. They’re very wary of their communities ever being discovered so it’s common for sirens who have made connections to people outside of siren water to be kicked out of the group and shunned. Rare exceptions do exist but Wilbur and Sally were not one of them! ! . It’s sort of what ended up killing sally actually. In any case non sirens that live in siren water with a partner cannot leave it and cannot communicate with anyone . They also can’t have children because half sirens are seen as a bad omen. Fundy was already born by the time Sally’s family found out about Wilbur 😔 Sally hasn’t seen her parents or siblings since

That was all the big stuff but I do have a bunch of smaller ideas floating around in my head <3 . Unlike hybrids whose ability to shapeshift is based on their genetics, sirens turning into fish is a LEARNED skill. It’s up to older sirens to teach younger ones how to do it. Sally died before she was able to teach fundy and thus granola never learned to either :( also sirens have VERY strong teeth and jaws because they regularly bite through huge crabs and raw fish. Sirens also run around butt naked most of the time because clothes are impractical in the water and no one in their right mind would wear kelp panties. It takes sally a WHILE to get used to getting dressed everyday when she starts living with Wilbur full time . Despite this sirens often wear jewelry made from shells and pearls and metals bent using thermal vents. When Sally first fell in love with Wilbur she gave him a necklace made with an abalone shell and he still has it. Because he still loves her very much. OH OH and the one species they DO interact with besides themselves are selkies which are immune to their songs. Though sirens will still be cast out for having a relationship or a child with a selkie . Okay that’s it BYE!!!

#araksi413 #maidsmop #parfait au #I AGONIZED SO MUCH OVER POSTING THIS YOU UAVE NO IDEA.#at the time of writing these tags this thing has been saved in my drafts forever I amso sorry

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strawberrycircuits · 9 months

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malon 10, 24, 27 >:]

libra i love you /p

character ask game! (my power grows the more ppl send in HDKSJSJDJF)

10.) Describe the character in one sentence

Steadfast, understanding, and hardworking, usually to a worrisome degree.

24.) What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

So yknow how that gossip stone in oot says she secretly longs for a knight to sweep her off her feet? i think shed be pretty embarassed and ashamed of that one. not because of normal kid reasons like "ew cooties" but bc she thinks that its Her Responsibility to take on so much that she'd deny herself even the normal little kid things like, crushes and daydreams and whatnot. So i think thats one she'd keep to herself, at least for a while.

27.) If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

serious answer: paya from botw/totk. theyre super similar in a lot of ways but paya is, like. very Safe and not impulsive and repressed and i think by the time malon is her age shes DEFINITELY Moved Past being safe and repressed and would try to get Paya to, like. sneak up on wild horses with her or would (lovingly! for her own good!) push her into the rivers of kakariko when paya refuses to jump in herself. and when paya makes a Step outside of her boundaries (like. asking someone a question without stuttering that much) malon is like YEHA LETS GO IM SO PROUD OF YOU LOOK AT YOU YOURE SO COOL while paya curls up into a ball because she cant handle compliments that much. Sorry every time nintendo gives me a character and makes "has a crush on link" a part of their traits i go crazy insane and flesh them out 100000x more than they are in canon whooops

answer 2: applejack mlp

#also im so sorry. that hcs ask has been in my drafts since forever im just weird abt posting old asks sometimes #to answer ur question i pronounce her name mal (as in malignant) on (as in on-off switch)#paya my freind paya ofhfhf paya i love. yeah!!!!

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itissadbutitsmy-artblog · 8 months

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#I lost my shit at 5 am this morning thinking about this #like a cat yeah? why look for him? Blaine’s a teenager they’re lazy. put out his favorite jacket and hope the coffee lures him back #their uncles like YOU DIDNT EVEN T R Y ? and they’re like DONT SHOUT AT ME I LOOKED AROUND WHILE I WALKED HOME THAT NIGHT #I RATTLED SOME COFFEE BEANS BEFORE I WENT TO BED EVERY NIGHT IDK. MAYBE HE WAS JUST LOST #what could’ve been. they could’ve all gotten along maybe. cuz like. deb and pep WERE looking for spader #:(((( I’m eating this episode alive still sorry. it never ends #edit: ill just post this thing separately but i drew it too lol. this has been in my drafts for forever #but fr. if pep had just told blaine what was up. cmon. maybe.#not art

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annnnperkins · 11 months

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OKSANA PLAYIBG WITH THESE

#oksana and eve #this has been in my drafts forever i can’t believe i’m only posting it now sorry #sfw agere

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lemonisntreal · 1 year

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Harry brought up Charley saying he was gonna quit smoking after he had a kid. Do you think that if Buster's father continued smoking, that it would lead him to having lung cancer by the time Buster bought the theater? I've heard that smoking is detrimental to our lungs.

Lung cancer is definitely an idea I've played around with since I decided on the smoking headcanon. It's absolutely a possible option for how he could've died by the time we see Buster in the first movie. However, I don't think he would've gotten to the point of acquiring the cancer. At least not in my version.

I think he'd try his very best to stop smoking so that he could be a better influence on his son. Would smoke on and off, and sometimes get addicted again because he needed the stress relief. So he probably had respiratory problems, but maybe not something as huge as cancer.

I'm a bit biased though- since I have a different idea of how he could've died.

[Though, the way you phrased it just has me imagining a scenario where Buster's dad gets like a Walter White arc where he knows he has cancer, so he does a bunch of c r i m e to get money to buy the theater for Buster before he dies. Could be a fun AU to play around with, but idk. Man-with-nothing-left-to-lose type beat, essentially. Sing AU where it's just Breaking Bad ~_~]

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floreuce · 2 years

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spanish speaking cat girl that says ña instead of nya. is this anything?

#this post has been sitting in my drafts forever and i’m finally posting it #if it flops i’ll delete it and put it straight back where it came from #this is why i so rarely look through my drafts #anyway enjoy #🪐#catgirl #catgirls #sorry

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crossbackpoke-check · 2 years

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when my advisor from MI found out I'm an Avs fan, I was so confused why he was like "ugh ok :/" but during the final he was like "I grew up in Detroit in the 90s, I can't support the Avs...but you do have 3 UMich guys, Compher, Cogliano, & Johnson, and you signed Helm, you know he was a Wing for 15 years? so maybe I can... get over my grudge a little" You guys are so funny, I didn't even know about the feud until you mentioned it. Also do all UM alum know every former Wolverine in the NHL???

aldhsksjaks me 🤝 your advisor during the final,,, every detroit fan i know was having the mental debate of “okay i KNOW tampa is a product of the yzerplan but helmer is on the avs now 🥺 and they have umich alum but also. it’s colorado”

and personally speaking from experience all michigan hockey fans have an encyclopedic knowledge of players who have ever once been affiliated with the detroit red wings or mi college hockey teams, so. we Do Not Let Go

#you come to my inbox on today of all days a day i was LITERALLY just in ann arbor shdhwkdjwondiw #had the exact same conversation u & ur advisor did abt darren helm w/my nana when we found out colorado was in the final 😭😭 both of us like #‘well you know they have helmer so we have to cheer for him’#me: yes darren helm can succeed but my body has been possessed by the spirit of petty vengeance & the colorado avalanche cannot succeed #ship of theseus argument of ‘can we cheer for the avs? nobody’s really left from the feud except joe sakic & nobody ever hated joe sakic so’#cannot speak for all umich alums because [redacted redacted redacted] but EYE personally know all the players who attended michigan colleges #don’t forget other colleges!! handsomest boy alive jujhar khaira went to tech!!! abbie my beloved & hirose went to state!! so did torey krug #every time i remember wade allison went to western i simply forget it again (same thing w/haggy at umich sorry bud)#in my head i understand that the colorado avalanche are stanley cup champions but every time i think about the players it’s like #goofy pool meme: darren helm is a stanley cup champion #calling this a portion of my tag #detroit ride or die forever & always #which i think provides excellent examples of my inability to ever let anything go have you ever heard me speak abt riley&glenny&doubles&moe-#me completely drafting this and then not hitting send 😭😭 anyway. you don’t need to know my schedule but YESTERDAY i meant to post this

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4phr0d17e · 7 months

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im an ex-tswift fan the way some people are ex-catholic. obviously i dont agree with it and i dont even observe the holidays anymore but its a part of my identity and ill always have a personal relationship with it

#sorry i think im funny #sjsjdhsj #this has been in my drafts forever but im listening to speak now again and thats always been a good album it turns out #altho i gotta say its so funny that she thought she could change 1 line from better than revenge and it wldnt be misogynist anymore #like girl ..... its the premise of the song skfhskh #my posts

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brighteyedjill · 10 months

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your fics are named after some of my favourite poems and it's just... delightfully unbearable. you're too good..

Awww thank you so much anon! I'm always excited when someone knows one of the poems a fic's name comes from. There's so many good poems in the world, and I love finding that little kernel of juuuuust the right idea or feeling that some amazing poet has packed into a short phrase. So I'm glad you like them too!

For those of you non poetry enthusiasts, here's an example, the poem that the title of my Aiden/Lambert grief fic came from:

What Came to Me by Jane Kenyon I took the last dusty piece of china out of the barrel. It was your gravy boat, with a hard, brown drop of gravy still on the porcelain lip. I grieved for you then as I never had before.

Like, damn. The way poets can capture the human experience so concisely is so fucking impressive.

#uh this has been in my drafts apparently forever?#sorry to whoever sent this ask #apparently posting is not a forte of mine #writing about writing #poetry

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joelsgreys · 1 month

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baby, i’m yours

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

summary: You remind Joel that you’re his.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. JACKSON ERA. READER HAS NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION however she does wear Joel’s t-shirt and he semi lifts her onto a counter? sorta but not really? UNSPECIFIED AGE GAP (Joel is in his 50’s but reader’s specific age is not mentioned). established relationship, sort of. consumption of food (if you are allergic to peanuts, i so sorry). angst, Joel and Ellie’s strained relationship is lightly implied, Joel is insecure, it’s implied reader did some horrible things in her past, reassurance, brief smut, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, consider it a quickie idk. apologies if i missed anything.

word count: 2.6k

a/n: this short lil thing has been sitting in my drafts forever. i finished it while i was in ireland and finally had the chance to sit down and do a quick edit and when i say it was quick, i flew through it so i could hop onto my next wip so please excuse any errors! here’s a spotify link to the song if anyone’s curious, it’s an oldie but a goodie although it may not be everyone’s cup of tea.

main masterlist l fic notifs

Joel rolls over in bed, his arm outstretched and seeking the warmth of your soft, naked body.

“Mmph,” a small, sleepy groan falls from his lips as his long, thick fingers feel around on your side of the bed—of his bed. Of course, you have your very own bedroom in the house you all had been placed in when you first arrived in Jackson. Your very own bed to sleep in is just down the hallway, but lately, you’ve been waking up beside him a lot more often than not, especially now that Ellie’s a bit older and she’s gone and made herself her own space out in the garage behind the house. Being under the same roof as Joel did those two more harm than it did good, and while you missed having her around, it was for the best.

“She’ll come around, Joel,” you’d assured him. “I know she will. She just needs a bit of time is all.”

“Hope you’re right, darlin’,” he had murmured sadly in response.

Still lost somewhere in between sleep and full consciousness, Joel continues feeling around for you, but all he finds are the wrinkled sheets, cold and abandoned. Confused, his eyes finally flutter open and with a painful protest from his sore, stiff back, he sits up, blinking furiously as he looks around the darkness of his bedroom. The door’s been left cracked open ever so slightly, and as his vision adjusts now that he’s fully awake, he notices the dim glow of the hallway light that’s peeking through into the room.

He turns and glances over at the old digital alarm clock perched on his nightstand, the obnoxious, bright red numbers practically screaming at him that it’s a quarter past midnight. With a small, tired grunt, Joel switches on the lamp beside the clock and swings his legs over the side of the mattress, goosebumps erupting across his flesh the instant that his bare feet meet the cold, hardwood floor. He stands and fumbles around for his clothes, which he’d tossed carelessly somewhere over his shoulder hours earlier when he’d been lost in the heat of the moment with you. He finds his faded, navy blue sweatpants strewn across a chair next to the door and pulls them on over his naked lower body before searching for his t-shirt. When he doesn’t immediately see it, he doesn’t bother, figuring that it’s just going to come back off when he climbs back into bed with you.

Padding out of his bedroom, he makes his way down the hallway, heading towards the staircase. As he draws closer, he hears it—the soft music that’s coming from downstairs.

Baby, I'm yours

and I'll be yours until the stars fall from the sky

yours until the rivers all run dry

in other words, until I die

He’s led towards the kitchen and that’s where he finds you.

Joel wants to be annoyed.

Fuck, he tries to be annoyed. But he can’t help the way that the corners of his mouth threaten to turn upwards when his eyes take in the sight before him.

You’re standing at the center island slowly swaying your hips from side to side along to the beat of the song that’s playing from the record player perched next to the instant coffee maker on the counter behind you. He’d nearly wrung your neck when he found out what all you had traded just to get your hands on it, but you loved that thing more than life itself it seemed, so he couldn’t stay mad for very long. You’re making yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich—the peanut butter you’d learned how to make yourself with the old food processor he found deep in one of the kitchen cabinets, and the strawberry preserves you had picked up from the market earlier that week. Clad in nothing but his t-shirt, you’re singing along quietly to the lyrics as you finish making your late night snack.

Baby, I’m yours

and I’ll be yours until the sun no longer shines

yours until the poets run out of rhyme

in other words, until the end of time

Joel leans against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his bare chest as he watches you carefully lick the remnants of peanut butter off of the knife you’re using before setting it down on the counter. You then pick up the two pieces of bread and slap them together—you’d also learned how to bake homemade bread using some old nineties cookbook you had found in the commune’s library. Your sourdough is the reason he had to go up a notch in his belt.

Sandwich in hand, you do a little spin, humming happily as you take your first bite.

Joel loudly clears his throat from the doorway.

Startled, you whirl around and freeze, your eyes wide.

“Enjoyin’ yourself there, darlin’?” He asks amusedly as he approaches you.

“Jesus Christ! You scared me, Joel!” You hiss at him. You then realize what time of night it is and a look of guilt crosses your features. “Oh shit. I’m sorry, did I wake you up? I honestly thought that I had the volume down low enough in here—”

Frowning, you turn around and reach towards the record player to turn the music off, but much to your surprise, Joel stops you. “No, s’okay. I woke up on my own,” he assures you. “I reached over for you and you were gone.” The admission slips before he can even think to stop it. He notices how taken aback you are by what he’d just said and quickly asks, “What’cha doin’ up so late, anyway?”

“I was hungry,” you tell him, sheepishly holding up your food. You always have one hell of an appetite after Joel was through fucking you senseless. You take another bite and offer it to him. “Want some?”

“Sure.”

He accepts and takes a corner of the sandwich before handing it back to you. His fingers brush against yours and his face burns at the contact.

Fucking Christ.

You’re standing there in nothing but his fucking t-shirt after he had, yet again, made you his in his own fucking bed, and that’s what gets him?

Truth be told, the only time he holds your hand is when he’s inside of you—his fingers lace with your own as he comforts you and praises you for being such a good girl for taking his cock the way you do.

For being so, so fucking good for him.

He’s thought about taking your hand in front of others. Particularly when he notices the way some of the men in town stare at you. Joel wants to make it known that you’re already spoken for. Only, you’re not spoken for, not really.

You’re his, but you’re not really his. It’s not that he doesn’t want to take the leap and acknowledge the two of you are far more than just patrol partners, far more than just two people who fought like fucking hell to get some smart assed teenager—and the world’s only hope for a cure—across the country.

He feels undeserving of it. Of you and your heart.

Several seasons had come and gone since you’d both arrived in Jackson with Ellie in tow, and somehow, Joel still can’t fathom what you’re doing by his side. She’s out of the house now and there’s nothing tying you to him, so why are you still here?

He’s so much older. Closer and closer to being on his way out, while you still had your entire life left ahead of you. He’s worn down, hardened from the post outbreak world. And you, you hadn’t lost any of your softness, your sweetness. Not even after the things you’d been forced to do to survive because of him.

You could meet someone younger, someone closer to your own age. You could marry, even start a family. You could be with someone who could give you a good life, the life you deserve.

The life that he’s too fucking broken to give you.

“Joel?” Your voice breaks into his thoughts. “Hey. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. M’fine.” He gestures to the record player with a nod of his head. “Y’know, this song’s older than me. By a few years. Came out in the early sixties.”

Joel half expects you to make some wisecrack joke and tease him over his age like you have done in the past—especially when the kid would get you going. Instead, he watches you set what’s left of your sandwich down and brush the crumbs from your hands before holding one of them out to him.

Confused, he stares at it for a moment before his dark eyes meet yours. “What are you doin’?”

“Dance with me,” you say, smiling at him.

“You’re fuckin’ kiddin’ me, right?” When he realizes you’re being serious, he shakes his head. “Y’know I don’t—I can’t dance.”

Dropping your hand back down to your side, you turn around and flip the record, starting the song over again before whirling back around and taking Joel’s hands in yours.

“Just follow my lead,” you tell him as you place them on your waist. Your own hands settle themselves on his broad shoulders, his skin warm beneath your fingertips. “Don’t overthink it.”

“You’re fuckin’ ridiculous,” Joel grumbles underneath his breath, however he finds himself moving along with you without further protest. Subconsciously, he pulls you closer against him as the two of you slowly sway from side to side along to the beat of the music. He chuckles, “Y’know we gotta be up at the asscrack of dawn for patrol, right?”

“And your point is?” You rest your head on his shoulder and exhale a soft, contended sigh.

Joel’s lips threaten to pull down once more.

Could it be that you’re actually content with him?

Head still on his shoulder, you sing along softly with Barbara Lewis.

“I’m gonna stay right here by your side

do my best to keep you satisfied

nothing in this world can drive me away

‘cause every day you'll hear me say…”

It quickly becomes too much for him. Joel’s hands leave your waist. Taking your wrists, he tugs your arms from around his neck and gently pushes you away from him. “Why?” he finally asks the question that’s been hanging off the tip of his tongue for the better part of the last three years. “Why me?”

You stare at him, puzzled. “What?”

“Why me?” he repeats himself. “Why me when you can have anyone else—”

Your reply is prompt and you say it so simply.

“Because I don’t want anyone else.”

“You deserve better.”

You peer at him curiously. “I deserve better?”

“You do. Ain’t got no business being with someone like me. After all the terrible shit I’ve done—”

“I did the same exact shit, Joel. Sometimes I did even fucking worse.” Somehow, softness laces your tone. You have never been angry with him and you weren’t about to start now. “What makes my hands any cleaner than yours?”

Joel begins to sputter. “M’older than you. Much older. Should’a been a lot more careful. Should’a done more so you didn’t have to do those things.”

His hands still curled around your wrists, you reach up and gingerly cradle the sides of his face. He winces, but then quickly melts into your touch, the very same touch that could heal his wounds, if only he would allow it.

“I made my own choices,” you remind him, quietly. Neither of you realize the music has stopped. “Quit acting like blood doesn’t stain my hands too because it does.”

His lips press into a tight line. “Blood stains your hands ‘cause of me. S’my fault. I was responsible for you. I was s’pposed to take care of you. I didn’t protect you the way I should’ve.”

You sigh.

“When are you going to stop blaming yourself, Joel?”

The muscle in his jaw ticks as it clenches. He averts his gaze, his eyes falling to the floor. He doesn’t answer.

You stroke the scruff of his beard lightly with your thumbs. “When are you going to stop thinking you’re not good enough for me? What’s it going to take for me to prove to you that you are all I could ever need and want?”

“You’re just wastin’ your fuckin’ life on me, darlin’. S’the truth and you fuckin’ know it as well as I do.”

Pulling your wrists out of his hands, you pivot on your heel and suck in a sharp breath, stubbornly blinking back the tears stinging your eyes. You’re frustrated.

It cuts you to your very core to know the man you’ve grown to love more than anything and anyone else on what’s left of this fucking planet can’t see that he’s enough. He’s more than enough.

Joel bites back his own frustrated sigh. He knows he can’t rely on you to tell him, rely on the reassurance—he needs to do his part and believe it. If he keeps trying to push you away, he just may very well succeed one day. He will lose you.

After a moment, he walks up behind you and wraps his arms around you, his lips lightly brushing your neck. “M’sorry,” he mumbles, his own voice thickening as a lump forms in the back of his throat. He’s quick to swallow it down. “Jus’ have a hard time believin’ you’re mine. S’almost like my mind is lookin’ to prove me wrong.”

“But I am yours, Joel. I’m yours, I’m fucking yours.”

It’s more than just reassurance. It’s an oath, one you’ll honor for the rest of your life.

He holds you tighter. “Yeah?” He nips at the delicate spot right below your ear, his teeth scraping along tender flesh. “S’that right, baby? You’re all mine?”

“All yours,” you confirm breathlessly as his hands slowly begin trailing down the length of your sides, his fingers skimming the hem of his t-shirt.

Joel swiftly turns you around in his arms and slips his hand between your thighs. The next thing you know, he has you backed up against the counter and he��s shoving his sweatpants down, freeing his hard, thick cock. With one of your legs hooked around his waist, he buries himself into the warmth of your cunt and begins to deliver smooth, languid strokes.

“Say it again, baby,” he rasps into your neck. He coaxes your other leg up and around his waist and his large hands curl securely underneath your thighs as he bucks up into you. He’d deal with the back pain later. He pants, “Need—need to hear you say it, my sweet girl.”

You hold onto the countertop behind you as he fucks you, your fingernails digging into the laminated wood. “Fuck, I’m yours,” you moan into his shoulder. “I’m all yours, Joel. Oh fuck—”

You say it over and over again and he believes it.

He finally fucking believes it.

Sweet nothings fall from his lips with each thrust.

“S’lucky you’re all fuckin’ mine.”

“My beautiful, beautiful girl.”

“Gonna keep you for the rest of my fuckin’ life.”

When he spills into you, there’s no regret on his part nor yours. You’d always wanted to feel him come inside of you—secretly, so did he. Joel’s deep, guttural groans bounce off of the kitchen walls as your pussy fills with him, with all of him, taking as much as it can before he begins leaking out of you and down the insides of your thighs.

“Jesus,” he exhales. He dips his head for a kiss. “You’re all messy now, baby,” he mumbles against your lips. “How’s about we go upstairs and get back into bed so I can clean you up?”

Giggling, you mimic him and remind him of what he’d said earlier. “Y’know we gotta be up at the asscrack of dawn for patrol, right?”

Joel grins. “And your point is?”

You laugh again as he leads you out of the kitchen and back up to his bedroom—to yours and his bedroom.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller smut #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller drabble #joel miller one shot #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #joel fic

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povlnfour · 4 months

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ੈ✩‧₊˚ TALES OF CANDOR (LN4)

pairing: lando norris x f!author!reader

summary: lando’s girlfriend has a secret identity. she’s not quite the girl next door everyone assumed, and he might just be the inspiration for more than just her instagram captions.

warnings: some hate comments

* faceclaim: mélanie, aka wailcester on ig (please imagine her as you see fit)

ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo

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landonorris some days @ home

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user i hope ur enjoying ur time off!

user no hate but like what does his gf actually do?

user literally nothing she’s jobless💀

user it’s giving🏅👷‍♀️

user lando i love u but half naked pics of ur girl isn’t helping how much we dislike her…

user what’s she reading!!!

yourusername a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini!!

user ofc u are. i totally believe u acc read well written books. u probably just read gossip columns but want to seem interesting🙄

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musingsofcandor biscuit approves of the final draft🤍

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user HELLO??? CANDOR DOES THIS MEAN WE R GETTING A NEW BOOK

user i love that we know more abt candy’s cat than we do her…

user can’t wait to read it🥹🥹

rickriordan has to be my favorite thing you’ve written!

user RICK’S READ IT??? OH YOU KNOW ITS GOOD

user lando norris in the likes he’s just like all of us fr

ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo

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yourusername ‘when she finally got the camera film developed, seeing his face made it all come rushing back’🦋🫧🧚🏻

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user im sorry i know we r meant to be supportive but she annoys me sm. is she just living off of lando’s money?

user omg the caption!!!

user i recognise it, where’s it from?

user it’s from ‘tales of peter rourke’ by candor!!!

user 🤢

user we get it… ur dating someone rich. now get a job!

ੈ✩‧₊˚ mclaren interview

[captions:

interviewer: what have you been up to in your break?

lando: a lot of lounging around with my girlfriend. read a few books too!

interviewer: anything good?

lando: i’m really into magical reality at the moment! that kind of it’s all normal till it’s not stuff, you know?

interviewer: any good recommendations?

lando: if you like that same genre, i recommend ‘the right side of upside’ by candor! it’s pretty recent, i finished it last week.]

comments

user he likes candor??? he’s so real for that

user KNEW I COULD TRUST HIM

user bad taste in women good taste in books

ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo

liked by landonorris and 15,708,111 others

musingsofcandor thank you for all the love lately on ‘the right side of upside’. insane seeing so many of you recommend it, biscuit and i are eternally grateful. love, candy🤍

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user QUEEN DID YOU SEE LANDO RECOMMENDED IT

user CANDY HAS A MAN???

user love u forever ur so talented

user CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO NEXT. CANT BELIEVE WE HAVE TO WAIT NOW

musingsofcandor it might be sooner than you think ;)

user UM. candor is this a soft launch?????

ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo

liked by musingsofcandor, yourusername and 761,298 others

landonorris got some super helpful race advice today

👤 tagged acatnamedbiscuit, musingsofcandor

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user OH MY GOD MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING

user LANDO WE NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING IS SHE CUTE I FEEL LIKE SHES CUTE

user break up w ur gf and date candor when

musingsofcandor biscuit says he can’t be held responsible for the outcome🐾

landonorris can i hold you responsible instead, candy?

user UHHHH WHATS GOING ON HERE

user i just know y/n is feeling THREATENED

ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo

liked by landonorris and 31,209 others

yourusername all mine

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user LMAOOO U STARTED SWEATING HUH

user candor could steal ur man if she really wanted to

user GIRL YOU’RE SO OBVIOUS

landonorris yours🖤

user STOP LYINGGGG

ੈ✩‧₊˚ an exclusive interview with candor : entertainment weekly

interviewer: so candor! tell us how it really feels having the world at your feet!

candor: [laughing] honestly quite normal! it’s a blessing and a curse, really, not having my identity revealed. i get to live my life without those pressures, but i don’t get to see anyone and thank them for reading!

interviewer: do you ever get the urge to approach someone reading one of your books?

candor: all the time! whenever i go browsing in book stores and see someone looking at or buying mine, i have such a temptation to scream THANK YOU at them!

interviewer: do you see a future in which you reveal your identity?

candor: maybe! there are a few of my fans who know who i am, those who attend the secret events and signings, but i’m very lucky that they all respect my privacy and haven’t shared anything further. perhaps one day soon i’ll finally let everyone in on the secret.

interviewer: and we can’t talk to you and not bring up your cat — or rather, who your cat met the other day…?

candor: oh! i’m assuming you mean lando norris? yes! he’s a pretty good friend of mine, he’s been a big support over the last few years and we found some time in our schedules last week to meet up.

interviewer: so you’re a formula 1 fan?

candor: huge fan! i’m a big mclaren girl so lando and i met through their events!

interviewer: oh fantastic! see folks reading this, she really is just like us!

ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo

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yourusername cars going vroom vroom makes my heart go boom boom

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user lmao posting before and after candor’s interview. girl ur not subtle.

user im so sorry but ur clearly so threatened it’s hilarious

user i don’t get all the hate in here??? she’s just in love n happy?

user shes a gold digger

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ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo

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musingsofcandor told you it wouldn’t be long🫧 ‘thomasin jeffe, the cat, and the diplomat’ will be with you next friday. a lot of love poured into this one over the past few years, i just couldn’t wait any longer to give it to you🤍

already a member on my website? check your emails🦋

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user WHDHSJSJSJSJS

user OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING

user THE EMAILLLLL🥹

user candy omg where do you live that looks so pretty!!!!

musingsofcandor monaco !!

landonorris 🖤

user lando using the black heart and candor using the white… i’m sorry to his gf (not really) but they’re meant to be

ੈ✩‧₊˚ user just posted a photo

liked by musingsofcandor and 34,511 others

user the best day of my life!!! thank you so much candor for being the absolute sweetest human and taking time to talk to each and every one of us! i cannot wait to read thomasin jeffe, the cat, and the diplomat🥹🤍

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user YOU MET HERRRRE???

user WHO IS SHE TELL TELL TELL

user candor asks us not to share her identity so i’m gonna respect that but LET ME TELL YOU I WAS SHOCKED

user i recognise her from just that inch of her face but i can’t tell whERE FROM

musingsofcandor it was WONDERFUL to meet you! i hope you enjoy the story🤍

user wish people on twitter were as kind as this,,, there’s photos of her going around :/

ੈ✩‧₊˚ f1wags just posted a photo

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f1wags the internet has been in PIECES after famous author candor’s recent book signing. photos have emerged of the popular anonymous author from the event, revealing her to be none other than LANDO NORRIS’ GIRLFRIEND, Y/N! turns out, she has a job after all👀 (pictures taken from y/n’s instagram!)

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user i… cannot believe this

user see. when y’all were hating on her you were secretly worshipping her

user @ everyone who was an arse to y/n… KARMA IS A BITCH!

user WHAT????

user HOLY SHIT LANDO HAS BEEN DATING MY FAV AUTHOR THIS WHOLE TIME????

ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo

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yourusername well. the secrets out. it’s been a long few years, but it’s nice to not have to hold it in any more.

both my accounts will remain active for separate purposes, but i’m excited to be able to introduce you to candor as she is in her whole truth — just like her name suggests🤍

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user ironically this is exactly how i picture marian elsie from thomasine jeffe looking. full fairy

user i am. so sorry. so so so sorry. i know nothing can ever compare for the things we said but i really am

yourusername thank you. no hard feelings on my end🤍

ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo

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landonorris my candy. it may not have been how you intended, but i’m glad i get to show off how proud of you i am.

i’ve watched you as both candor and y/n for a while now, and i love both versions of you entirely. i cannot wait to see what you do now you have the freedom to be whoever you want to.

and hey, pretty cool to be able to say i’m the inspiration behind some of your characters, huh?🖤

ps. so glad i can finally share photos of mY CAT. even if he does hate me biscuit is MINE as well

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user love the clarification that the most important thing to lando is sharing photos of his cat😭😭

user MORE PICS OF BISCUIT PLEASE

user i’ve always been in love with her i can say that confidently

user oh so you’re a successful fanboy

yourusername biscuit told me to tell u ur smelly for using him for likes

landonorris you literally said to me omg i can post about biscuit now YOU FEEL THE SAME DONT LIE

ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo

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musingsofcandor i’ve had a bit of inspiration for some time🤍

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user MOM AND DAD

user i can’t believe this. my worlds are colliding

user I KNEW CAPTAIN ROURKE FELT FAMILIAR IN THE TALES OF PETER ROURKE

user i can’t believe my fav ever love interest is based on lando….

landonorris i love you. thanks for immortalising me🖤

————

a/n: hello hello! another one whilst i recover!

so this was based on an anon request and i have had so much fUN writing it!!!! whilst i don’t normally do requests generally due to being overwhelmed easily, this one stood out to me as i Love books so i was inspired. to the anon who requested, i hope this is what you imagined🤍

in terms of further requests! whilst i can’t promise i’ll do them, if you have any pressing ideas you think would work with my style , do feel free to send them in ! i always love to hear your ideas (and any thoughts on my works!! please send feedback as well!!) and will try gradually to get through some🤍

fun fact: all the book titles are based on actual books i have written hehe

fun fact pt2: yes her pseudonym is chosen bc i watched divergent last night

taglist (found in pinned post): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call @skatingiswalkingincursive @peqch-pie @m0cha-bunny @woozarts @he6rtshaker @iluvvmeeee @goldenalbon @izzy-marvel @lucyysthings @lichterfee @tallrock35

#f1 x reader #f1 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris au #mclaren #lando norris blurb #lando norris scenario #lando norris one shot #lando norris smau

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