#This was fucking hilarious to write-

[jade-len]

please help i just had a dream where svsss was a dating sim. so, of course i tried pursuing shen qingqiu, but it ultimately backfired because suddenly he realized that he was in a dating visual novel?? and since i put myself as a guy, he just refused to show up to special in game events to avoid me interacting with him???

and obviously i was like "wtf why isn't he here?" when he didn't show up. then at some point i explored the area, and the screen suddenly zoomed in to show sqq talking to sqh (supposedly telling him all about the little situation). next thing i know, both of them are slowly turning their head to stare at the screen in pure and utter terror

also in some part of the dream, i think i did some liu qingge events or something and as his affection levels rose, he would continuously jump scare me by popping up out of nowhere and go, "its not like i like you or anything!!" while covered in blood and holding out a demonic beast head as if it were a box of treats

anyways, totally random question guys haha if i made an svsss visual novel dating sim would you guys play it. no reason in particular at all.

#im actually learning how to code right now #if i hyperfixate enough ill turn this to reality bc im kinda bad at writing fanfiction #no promises though #i prob had this dream bc i stayed up till 5 am last night playing a date with death #idk if dream liu qingge was accurate bc personally i see him more as just being like 'for you.' before leaving #but its a funny thought to have with liu qingge acting like that sporty emotionally constipated tsundere character lmao #anyways dw if i do make the game i would build a chaotic ass harem route jesus fucking christ that'd be hilarious #the scum villain's self saving system #svsss #mxtx svsss #shen qingqiu #shang qinghua #liu qingge #cumplane

[spacedace]

Okay but the Justice League finds out their new baby hero teammate Phantom is the Ghost King by virtue of the Fright Night showing up while they're in the middle of a meeting, looking terrifying and such and scaring the shit out of everyone- even more so when Constantine starts freaking out over the fact that the sworn night of the King of the Infinite Realms is in the Watchtower what the fuck that's apocalyptically bad Pariah Dark is supposed to be locked the fuck up forever - but instead of trying to smite them all or yeet them into the nightmare dimension he just pulls out a space themed packed lunch??? And gives it to Phantom??

And the mildly eldritch giant murder ghost is talking about how "The Queen Mother commanded me to ensure you ate my Lord, she says you missed your morning meal."

And Phantom is just grumbling about over protective sisters and "there's a cafeteria i would have been fine" what the fuck is happening right now?

What do you mean "oops you forgot" Phantom I thought the ghost thing was just a theme!

#dc x dp #dp x dc #justice league #danny phantom #danny fenton #jazz fenton #fright knight #ghost king danny #fanfic writing prompts #danny at lunch later: aw shit she packed from home now i gotta fight it #justice league watching in horror as his left overs try to kill him: what the fuck what the fuck what the fu- #john constantine #Constantine thinks danny as the ghost king is gonna yell at him about all the soul selling #Danny just thinks it's hilarious and has no intention of interfering #he doesn’t have to deal with that paperwork and thise demons are assholes anyway #danny does get a long lecture after fright knight shows up about sharing need to know information #he gets another one after that about not missing meals #JL member: I don’t *care* if you're the Ghost King you're still growing and need to make sure you're eating enough! #Danny desperately trying to keep them from meeting Jazz because it's all over for his days of eating junk food if that happens

[therubyjailcell]

mobei "hang out with me and i'll keep you alive" jun, using the now mandatory hanging out time to figure out how humans work, except shang qinghua is like, the worst human to observe bc he's not like the rest of the characters since he quite literally made the world, and so sometimes, he says things that either aren't from that world OR lets it slip that he knows things he shouldn't

so now mobei jun uses earth slangs and also assumes humans just know a lot of stuffs they shouldn't

(this is made worse by shen qingqiu who is The Same(tm) bc he was such a hardcore fan hater that he knew the entire fucking thing by heart)

mobei jun using "wtf" once and shen qingqiu just pauses and looks at him like he just saw a ghost and screams "you too?!?!", which just confuses the hell out of mobei jun - shang qinghua has to do damage control after that. mobei jun assuming every humans know something bc shang qinghua (and shen qingqiu even maybe) knows it, and every other human discovering hidden secrets.

#i think that'd be fucking hilarious hear me out #mobei jun #moshang #shang qinghua #shen qingqiu #svsss #v can write #mxtx

[blorbologist]

We've had a thousand and one 'de Rolos adopt Caleb/Beau/Laudna/Molly/Veth/whoever' AUs, time for 'Percy finds Prism rummaging around his library like a raccoon through garbage' AU!

EDIT: started writing this enjoy

#i am. so SO fucking tempted to write this its unreal #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #critical role #prism grimpoppy #percival de rolo #love how Ashton is so obsessed with him. the rich asshole in the castle. he is SO Prissy about Percy its hilarious

[miraclewoozi]

SPECTACLE. -j.ww

in which your new boyfriend, wonwoo, doesn't give a crap about his expensive eyewear.

pairing : wonwoo x fem!reader. content : smut. pwp. tags under the cut. MINORS DO NOT HAVE MY CONSENT TO INTERACT. w/c : 2.7k. notes : yeah i kinda. went insane over this idea. so. bon appetite to you, and also to wonwoo ? i guess.

content + smut tags : established - but new - relationship. making out. FACE SITTING. impact play? (one gentle butt slap). the shenanigans are on a couch if that matters, i don't know. reader is a little shy about doing it. PLEASE let me know if i've forgotten anything.

Wonwoo looks flushed when he pulls away from where he’s been kissing and nipping at the side of your neck, hair stuck up in every direction thanks to your tugging fingers and your gentle guidance to help him find your sweet spots. His lips are pink and a little plumped. His glasses are steaming up, sitting halfway down the bridge of his nose, and every slightly heavier breath he takes makes his broad chest rise and fall where it’s pressed wholly against yours.

You can’t help yourself from leaning forward into another kiss; he’s completely irresistible. Maybe the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. And while this isn’t really news to you, the dynamic of your relationship with him shifted a month or so ago and you’re still getting used to the privilege of seeing him this close up. 

He’s still adjusting too, if the way he groans directly into your mouth, hands groping harder at the curve of your ass as you shuffle in his lap is anything to judge by. Still learning, still figuring you out. But – and this is how you know what you’re building here might be the real deal – even when it’s clumsy, and when you knock teeth while you’re kissing and burst into slightly pained giggles, or when things accidentally slip out of place while you’re getting steamy… everything Wonwoo does makes your spine tingle. Makes your stomach flip. Makes your core throb. 

Even when it doesn’t always work? It makes sense, and it’s perfect, and losing yourself in the way his lips caress and worship yours is so damn easy when he murmurs your praises just for letting him do this in the first place.

“Will you do something for me?” He asks after a small forever, pulling back just far enough that he's not breathing up your nose. His hands have made their way under your – his – hoodie now and he’s grazing his fingers over your ribs, tickling enough to make you whimper, not enough for you to want to swat him away.

You think you’d give him the world if he asked for it in that deep, rough voice he adopts when things start heading in this direction. The moon too. Shit, if you could get a lasso around the sun and bring it closer to keep him warm, you’d do that as well. So, whatever his little request is now, you know you’re going to agree; resting your hands on his shoulders (finally leaving his gorgeous hair alone), you lean back from him and nod your head.

“Anything,” you say. You’re certain that you feel his cock twitch in his sweatpants where it’s pressed against the inside of your thigh, but you’re not quite sure why. 

It makes you feel hot, though. More-so when he bites back a grin, lips curling in that adorable way. It feels greatly unfair that you can’t swoop down right this second to kiss him again, and again, and again; as painful as it is though, you do exercise enough grace to wait for him to come out with it.

“Get up,” he says softly, dropping his hands down your sides and squeezing at your hips once. 

You do as he asks and move off his lap, sitting on the other side of the couch; he doesn’t say anything else as he stands up himself, pulls his hoodie off over his head and tosses it to one side before sinking all the way down to the floor. You raise an eyebrow at him, but he doesn’t see you. He shuffles into place with his back against the edge of the seat and only once he’s comfortable does he turn to look at you over one shoulder, grinning brilliantly.

“Okay,” he says, bending his knees and planting his heels into the floor. “Come here.”

You stand up off the cushions now and look down at him for a second, wondering what on Earth is going through his mind, but you know better than to start questioning his strange ideas. Especially when he’s in this sort of a mood. You step over him, one foot either side of his hips, and start to drop down too, but he puts a hand on each of your knees and stops you before you’re in his lap once again.

“No,” Wonwoo says, shaking his head. His hands then make their way to the backs of your thighs and he pushes forwards, trying to guide you where he wants you. Your knees bend of their own accord and press against the couch on both sides of his head. “Like this.”

You don’t exactly freeze up, but it is as if you forget how to control all of your muscles for a second. The ones in your legs seem to turn to jelly and you know it’s only because the sofa is currently taking a portion of your weight that you don’t buckle completely and fall onto the top of his head. The ones in your face give you a slack-jawed, wide-eyed, unblinking expression. 

Your abdominal muscles tighten and your cunt flutters at what you’re sure he’s trying to suggest, the rush of wetness you feel only worsened by the intensity in his eyes as he tips his head back and looks at you.

“Please?” He asks, all sweet but deep and rough at the same time. 

“Are you s–?” You start to ask. 

Wonwoo clicks his tongue at you and tries to encourage you further onto the couch to prove his point. “Yes,” he says, nodding eagerly. 

And then, just so you really can’t mistake what he's asking for–

“I want you to sit on my face.”

Your entire body heats up at how bluntly he says it. You squeeze your eyes shut and bite the inside of your cheek so that you don’t accidentally laugh with the nerves already trying to burst out of your tummy. 

It’s not that you don’t want to. If you had a penny for every time you’d thought about him giving himself up for your pleasure this way, you’d be rich. You do. You’re going a little crazy just imagining how good it’s going to feel. 

It’s just that him being so bold about it has you feeling shy, and that’s never happened to you before. You’re at a loss. You’re totally stumped.

When you open your eyes again and look down at him, Wonwoo is just as earnest and hungry for you as he was a few seconds ago. If anything, it’s as if he wants it more. It’s without a doubt the hottest thing you’ve ever seen and before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re nodding at him; his fingers start to drag up and down the backs of your thighs happily, before they hook under the waistband of your shorts and gently make that first little pull.

“If you don’t like it, we can stop,” he says to you, only pulling them all the way down when you start to help him. They get tossed over to the side to join his hoodie after you step out of them. His eyes glance to the panties you’re wearing – the last barrier, the final thing keeping him from what he’s so desperate for – before he looks back at your face and flashes you a smile. “Just tell me, okay?”

“It’s not that,” you laugh softly, taking off your own jumper and throwing it onto the pile. Wonwoo groans at the sight of you; you roll your eyes at him. “You just… took me by surprise.”

“Good,” he sighs, wrapping an arm around one of your legs and letting you settle onto your knees in position over his mouth, pressing his fingers into the top of your thigh. 

The first soft press of his lips over your panties makes you gasp and you hold a little tighter onto the back cushions as you look down at him. His eyes are closed already as he breathes your heady scent in, deep enough to hopefully stain his lungs, enough that he’ll never get rid of it, that he’ll be able to carry you everywhere he goes. 

But Wonwoo’s closed eyes aren’t the only thing you notice between your thighs and a soft laugh replaces the pleased sounds already spilling from your lips. One hand drops down to where he's settled and your fingers brush against his temple as they try to pinch at one side of his glasses. He looks affronted when he catches your gaze.

“What’re you doing?” He asks, gently moving your hand away. 

You tilt your head at him. “Your glasses,” you prompt, moving to reach for them again. His fingers curl around your wrist and he shoves your hand into his hair instead, rubbing the tip of his nose against the inside of your thigh.

“I want to keep them on,” he tells you.

“What if they break?”

“Don’t care,” he hums, kissing his way back towards your covered pussy. “I’ll buy a new pair. I just wanna see you.”

You swallow at this and decide that you’re definitely not going to try and change his mind, instead choosing to tilt your head back and let his skilled tongue work you up through your underwear. It’s a mess of arousal and spit and they’re soaked, translucent, clinging to you by the time he’s frustrated with them; frankly, so are you, and it's a relief when he concludes that enough is enough.

“Baby,” he groans as he pulls your underwear to one side and has to crane his neck up to lick the flat of his tongue in a stripe up your slit. You whine, the cool air and his hot breaths a menacing mix of sensations, but you don’t have the sense to respond; one soft slap of his hand against your ass makes you look back down at him, though, and you’re met with dark eyes, flushed cheeks and a practically frenzied Wonwoo in the space between your hips. Your sweet, softly spoken boyfriend is nowhere to be found.

“I said, sit.”

His strong arm tugs you down and your knees slide against the cushions, bringing your pussy even closer to his face, literally forcing you to rest against his lips. He chuckles triumphantly and buries his tongue between your folds, tasting you so much more legitimately than before. The way he loves – straight from the source, the spring. You feel him prod at your hole and your walls clench around what he gives you – barely just the tip, but it’s enough to have you reeling already, and when his other arm hooks around your other thigh, when he starts to move you back and forth, you take very little convincing to start to rock your hips down against him on your own.

“Oh,” you whimper as his lips seal around your clit and he sucks at it once, giving a few experimental flicks of his tongue at the same time. The hand in his hair tightens immediately and Wonwoo groans with you still in his mouth, sending delicious vibrations through your sensitive nerves and making you gush onto his chin. 

“So fucking pretty like this,” he tells you, stroking his thumb over your waist. “Might be my new favourite view.”

He keeps lapping at you teasingly, testing circles and sideways motions, precise swipes, long drags; every subtle change as he tries to find what makes you scream in this position draws a different sound from your throat. He tenses the muscle and fucks your dribbling hole with it while encouraging you to move enough forward that his nose bumps against your clit with every jerky rock of your hips. You’re grinding faster, now, pressing down against his mouth harder, caring less by the second about whether his glasses are actually going to break in two. Besides, the way he drinks you down tells you that he could do this for a week straight without getting tired; he doesn’t want you to stop, or slow down, or ease up. He wants more. And if you’re too shy to give it to him, he’ll just take, take, take.

“Just– oh, fuck,” you gasp as his tongue finds your clit again and he laps at it with so much zeal that he could rival your favourite vibrator. “Just like that–”

Both of his hands grasp you tighter, squeezing and massaging and kneading at your soft skin as you chase your high on his pretty face. His eyes are tightly closed in his own rapture, and you hope that he won’t blame you for wanting him to open them; your hand pulls harshly at his hair again, hard enough to make him cringe, enough to make him stop for just a second before he sees how wound-up you look. You try to pull off from him a little, at least enough for him to catch a couple of breaths, but Wonwoo captures your pussy between his lips before you even hear him inhale.

“You– you wanted to s—see me,” you stutter out as the fire starts to catch and you feel warmth and ecstasy start to build at your core. “Fuck– ah–”

So he does. With big, hungry eyes, Wonwoo watches as you hurtle towards oblivion, as you writhe and squirm and grind down against his ardent mouth.

He sends you crashing over the edge with a wet sob, your own eyes closing now as you see stars in the darkness and ride your high out on his still-moving tongue. There are tears on your cheeks before you can do anything about it. Your walls spasm around nothing. He barely slows, taking back enough pressure so that your pleasure doesn’t turn to pain. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t even blink until you’re out the other side of your climax, though.

When your pants start to die down and you’re twitching to get away from him, so sensitive that even his tiny kisses make you shudder, Wonwoo drops his head back down to the pillows and wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. You don’t have the strength to move yet, still reeling, still too floaty to try for any level of coordination, but he doesn’t mind. Your swollen, glistening pussy right over his face is something he'd pay millions to see.

“Didn’t even break the glasses,” you laugh weakly once your voice decides to come back to you. 

“Mm,” Wonwoo hums, sliding them off his nose and inspecting them. He ‘tsk’s before putting them back on. They’re steamed at the edges and a little smeary now, and he surely can’t actually see that clearly through them. He obviously doesn’t care. “That’s not good enough.”

“Huh?” you ask, moving carefully so as not to plant your knee into his jaw but still trying to bring your legs together so that you can sit to one side. He isn't having it, though, and slowly shuffles up onto his knees, turns around to face you and lays his fingers on one of your ankles, wasting no time in trying to pry your legs apart again.

“That’s. Not. Good. Enough,” he repeats, using his other hand to palm himself over the fabric of his sweatpants. The tent in them would be comical if it weren’t for the animalistic look in his eyes; there’s nothing laughable about the way he’s looking at you right now, though.

“So what are we gonna do about it?” You ask, opening back up for him and not hiding how you stare as he rips his shirt off over his head. Then, he slides his fingertips up the inside of your calf, to your knee, down your thigh… he drags them over the lips of your pussy and collects a little of your slick on them before bringing his hand to his lips and sucking it clean.

“I’ve got a few ideas,” he tells you, groaning at your sweet taste as if he wasn’t just drowning in it a minute and a half ago. He lowers himself until he's once more level with your cunt and guides both of your legs over his shoulders, smirking up at your expectant face. “Maybe try to squeeze your thighs a little more this time. See if that does the trick.”

thank you so much for reading!! i hope u enjoyed this hehe. as always, likes, reblogs, replies, feedback and asks are always super appreciated.<3

#wonwoo smut #wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #kpop smut #* #j writes. #this is the best title i've ever given anything and if you disagree. argue with the wall #i'm fucking hilarious. anyway don't perceive me. #taking myself to horknee jail right this second

[opheliaweeps]

martin k blackwood u will forever be famous

(from mag 197: connected)

#martin blackwood #martin was such a girlboss and then he got tied up asdfghjkla #i love this man he’s my little meow meow #the transcripts are fucking hilarious #strip away the horrors and tma is really just a comedy #the magnus archives #jyot writes #tma #the magnus archives season 5 #tma season 5 #mag 197 #tma spoilers #jonmartin

[cursedzucchini]

DC x DP prompt #5

This is so dumb but Danny is Bruce's uncle.

And not in the Danny is old or whatever, no, my dude is 15 looks like he's 13 and when he was running away from home, he met this really really old lady which looked at him, looked at his wounds and went "aight I'm adopting u"

Danny thought she was a ghost and this was her obsession, so imagine his surprise when it turned out that not only this lady was alive, but also supposedly from very influential family??? Danny wasn't sure Abt that one, bc he himself never heard abt these "Waynes" like that just sounds weird, but hey. It made the lady happy so.

Anyway they part ways, bc the lady only wanted to adopt not care, and Danny decides, hey now that I have a new fam, maybe i should get to know them or something?

Well imagine his surprise when he found out some guy in his fifties is supposedly his nephew and has like bazillion kids.

Idk what happens next yada yada sheniganas happen and than Danny ends up in Gotham. And meets Bruce Wayne. Who obviously sees young child w si gns of abuse, black hair, blue eyes and is immidietly like "aight I'm adopting u" (like grandma like grandson huh)

Only this time, Danny is sure he isn't a ghost, and has a counter argument "u can't adopt me I'm ur uncle" and immidietly flees bc dealing w his problems isn't something he does.

Cue confused batfam or stuff idk, I'm so tired and this is just an excuse for crack

#they should maybe work out w Danny #dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #crossover #dcxdp #dp x dc writing prompt #danny fenton #bruce wayne #the batkids think this is absolutely fucking hilarious just until he turns his eyes on them and starts agressively taking care of them #bruce theyre sorry they laighed can u pls tell ur uncle to stop grabbing them by their necks and carrying them around like kittens??? #bruce does not see until danny does this to him #than it becomes something #danny is feral #also jason gets special treatment bc hes obviously sick and starved >:((( why arent u feeding him bruve >:(((((((( #i feel like someone mentions joker killed jason ajd danny goes very still #the discussion stops for a moment before they all try and stop danny from beating joker to death (danny wouldnt kill.him just...... #nah he totally would) #anyway personally i dont like children killing anyone bc its traumatizing so i think itd be pretty cool for jason to see this #bc like someone finally wants to kill the joker for him #but its 15 yo abused fetus and killing anyone wont help him get better #i might even argue itd make everything worse #and maybe hed kinda see stuff from bruces perspective?? tho the last few tags r just my personal stuff so feel free to ignore it lol #uncle danny >:)))

[drbtinglecannon]

What was that about "just the small ones" dying and it not being a big deal in the grand scheme, Darius?

But legit we know next to nothing about Eber and even less about how these two became so close, yet even in the face of the world ending, not only do they look to each other triumphantly when things are going well

But Darius immediately stopped fighting if it meant Eber would die, even if they were all going to die anyway watching them die now was not an option

Even worse, the second Eber was released from the Oracle Coven Head's power, they got up and were absolutely going to rush to Darius before succumbing to the draining spell

Even having no explanation for their dynamic it's painfully clear how significant they are to each other, and goddamn if I'm not invested in Darius & Eber besties for life

#toh spoilers #toh darius #toh eber #toh eberwolf #king's tide #toh #the owl house #we dont even need to know the backstory to understand how important they are to each other & i think its a testament to how good the #writing is that even knowing almost nothing its still so clear & in a big pivotal moment that parallels raeda we see these two look #to each other. im so fucking invested in their dynamic its beyond just a hilarious juxtaposition now its so fucking sentimental to me #tc posts

[potatobugz]

*picks you up and dips u in a vat of acid*

#south park #sp #pip pirrup #pip pirrip #damien thorn #dip #sp dip #dip is one of those sjips that i only enjoy if its outside of the canon . show if that makes sense #cuz otherwise like they were only in one episode 2gether and damien like. hated him #but *thinks about them anyways* #i mean as in. i only like it in rlly specific circumstances otheriwse id be indifferent toward it #these all mainly came about cuz im writing a damien and pip friendship fic thing #cuz id like to explore their dynamic actually (and also I WANT PIP TO BE HAPPY) #anyways i rewatched 'Damien' (the episode) so i could characterize him right and like honestly thats gotta be my fav episode in s1 #its fuckin hilarious #also DAMIEN MADE A CAMEO IN A LATER EOISODE AS LIKE A LITTLE EASTER EGG. HE WAS ON SUPER NANNY. LIEK THE TV SHOW #KM CRYING ITS FUCKING AMAZING #i love damien like ppl characterize him as being pissed off all the time and while yea technically true #he feels a lot more. immature to me #hes literally like an angsty little kid and the onyl reason he set pip on fire was to impress the 'cool kids' one might say #cuz hes weird and no one liked him #but i like him. #his weirdness is captivating #damien meeting the lame loser kid that he doesnt like and befriending him cuz they actually have a lot in common #(and damien is very very lonely) #also pip deserves a good cry honest to god #i want. him to be happy. nyow #i want damien 2 be happy too tbh #potatart

[kaidiaries]

civilians literally swooning when they run into spider-man is the realest shit i’ve ever seen

#insomniac making me feel Seen #new yorkers writing up thinkpieces on symbiote spider-man while me and the girls thirst #also the interaction where a civilian jumps into his arms is fucking hilarious kdkfowjfir #marvel’s spider man 2 #peter parker #insomniac spider man

[extra-somethin-somethin]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head #ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it #like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like #kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all #and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo #and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like #now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week? #yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay #kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello #why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine #but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him #they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her) #i just think it'd be fun cos like #it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met #kurama and hiei #kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back #they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀 #it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan #yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc #and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺'' #''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing #it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next #cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe #okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara kazuma #yusuke urameshi #koenma

[ajewishclowninleather]

hell yeah im noisy during sex *changes position, causing my knees and back to pop so loudly the sound reverberates across the room, making your eardrums pop and me pass out for 2 seconds*

#disabled nsft #nsft #trans nsft #this is not even a joke i have done this and it's fucking hilarious #not hornyposting #ill hornypost later but first i have to write a paper

[gutsybitsies]

controversial opinion perpollo should be way sassier. i don't even ship them and i think this is how it should go (with percy in his mid 20s of course):

percy constantly has self doubt issues and doesn't think that he's good enough. but when he's with apollo, he thinks "ah yes this asshole is enough of a loser to vibe with my loser vibes."

with anyone else he thinks "what if i mess up and this person leaves me?"

with apollo he thinks "yeah this is just a fling, he's a fucking asshole?" and then sprays water at apollo's head to make a rainbow. but the "fling" just never ends and both of them are too idiotic to do something about it.

and if percy's in his mid 30s-40s when perpollo happens its

percy: "you're good looking enough to sleep with but your past actions have me unimpressed." and "i've worked too hard to be emotionally well adjusted for you to come barging in with 4000 years of issues"

then percy accidentally negs apollo into being obsessed with him.

#perpollo #pjo #percy jackson #apollo pjo #apollo lester #i feel like when i saw the ship name i had a vibe for it but when i clicked into some fics the vibe was completely different #and of course people can write what they want and what they want from apollo is very different from what i personally see in apollo #i just think perpollo is probably a hilarious ship with untapped comedic implications #of god who's a little obsessed and a mortal demigod who's very very unimpressed #also come one dad bod percy in his 40s raising an eyebrow at whatever the fuck apollo's doing to get his attention #and when it inevitably embarrasses apollo percy's just like are you winning son #he would never intentionally neg another person he just deep down is so unimpressed and kind of hates the gods

[inoreuct]

I've been loving your ZoSan drabbles, they honestly make my day. I do have a potential drabble request if you'd like: I feel like these two idiots tease each other mercilessly for the dumbest things, like an old married couple. It's almost a game for the rest of the crew to how long it takes them to turn the teasing into either flirting or kissing. It's peak entertainment for the crew

thank you so much??$4!;7:)3 I’M SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT and yes. absolutely. I FLEW TO MY DOCS TO WRITE THIS AND IT WAS SO FUN. the tension is through the roof; not even with the bickering but the teasing. it’s playful and easy and they’re more fond than they should be and is an insult really an insult if it’s said with a smile? anyway. enjoy 😽

“Oho! The world’s greatest swordsman can’t handle a kitchen knife!” Sanji has his hands propped on his hips, faux-flabbergasted and crowing like a town crier. Zoro looks about three seconds away from chopping him up with said kitchen knife instead of the carrots on the countertop. Usopp fears for the cook’s safety.

“Do you think we should… do something?” he turns and whispers gingerly, leaning across his mug of tea so that Nami can hear him from where she’s seated across the table. 

“Something like preventing a possible murder, or getting them to finally kiss? Because…” She takes a pointed slurp from her own mug, her amused gaze fixed on the way Zoro is now animatedly arguing back. “We could do both. Or neither. I’m entertained either way.”

Usopp turns back around, hiding his face in his drink as he eavesdrops shamelessly. He must have missed some conversation, because now Zoro’s sniping about Sanji’s hair, of all things. How they got so far from the original topic in such a short time? Usopp does not know. 

“Well, at least I don’t spend an hour rubbing conditioner on my head,” Zoro scoffs, and Sanji gasps like the swordsman had just cussed out his entire family three generations up and down.

“And that, my dear marimo, is why it looks like a lawn,” he declares with a prim sniff, flicking the tap on with a flourish. “An untrimmed lawn. That a dog ran all over.”

“Wh—”

“No, no,” he laments, scrubbing at a dish in the most melodramatic way Usopp has seen in his life. “A pack of dogs. And they shat all over it, too.”

Zoro puffs up like an angry cat, clearly winding up to verbally throw down, and Usopp turns around to find Nami smirking at him with her eyebrows raised as if to say, see what I mean?

“This is incredible,” he whisper-shouts, amazed.

I know, she mouths delightedly, eyes shining like golden coins.

“What are we talking about,” Luffy hisses, and Usopp damn near jumps out of his skin.

“Great Mother Ocean, when did you get here?!” he nearly squawks, pulling his volume down at the last second, just in time to hear a victorious “and that is why no crab in its right mind would ever want to eat you!” from Zoro. He doesn’t even bother to question it anymore.

Luffy shrugs, biting into an apple with a satisfying crunch. “Like two seconds ago. Are Zoro and Sanji fighting again?”

“More like flirting,” Nami laughs, gesturing with her chin. 

Usopp gives up on straining his neck and gets up to straddle the chair properly. The convo has somehow turned back to hair; Sanji has one hand plucking delicately at green strands, the other covered in soap.

“Keep talking shit about my brows and see if I will,” he says haughtily, and Usopp strains his ears for context as Zoro bares his teeth in a grin, his eye twitching.

“As if I want you to cut it. You’d probably make it all uneven.”

A dry ha! “That’d be an improvement.”

The sniper whips around wildly to look at Nami. Either he’s hearing things, or they sound almost… fond. The way their navigator’s sitting forward in her chair hints at the latter. Luffy bites into his apple again, mumbling, “Why haven’t they kissed yet?” 

Usopp explodes into a flurry of desperate hand movements, mouthing exactly! Exactly! so enthusiastically that his cheeks hurt. 

His captain smiles and then pauses, tilting his head. “Have they kissed yet?”

Usopp’s worldview shatters into shards that then start rearranging themselves because that is a very real possibility. Sanji and Zoro have been bickering ever since before the cook came aboard the Merry, but somewhere along the line it had turned to something more lighthearted, less I’m-gonna-gut-you-like-a-fish-and-have-your-entrails-for-breakfast and more you’re-so-damn-annoying-sit-down-and-let-me-help-you.

The three of them turn in unison to stare at how Sanji and Zoro are now nose to nose, Sanji peering down the scant half-inch he has above the swordsman in height with a smug smile and murmuring “—not what you were saying last week, marimo.”

Zoro tips his head, not backing down even as Sanji cooes at him and somehow, somehow, it doesn’t sound condescending. Usopp is losing his mind. “Never said that, curly-brow. You were the one who filled in the blanks.”

“You left blanks for me to fill in.”

“You’re delusional. There’s gas in your brain, that’s why your head’s so big.” 

“Oh, yeah?” the cook grins, lazy and bright, eyebrows going up as Zoro steps into his space. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

Zoro smirks and tilts his head back. “I don’t know. You tell me,” he murmurs, before pulling away and dropping a whole stack of dirty crockery into the sink. “Better get to washing, dish boy.”

Usopp’s eyes are bugging out of his head as Sanji yells and sprays Zoro with water from the pullout tap, sparking a whole new round of squabbling and ankle-kicking and wayward elbows.

“You’re seeing this, right?” he asks desperately, turning around in his seat and gripping the edge of the table. Gosh, he’s feeling light-headed. “I’m not going crazy?”

“Nope,” Nami sighs, popping the ‘p’. “Wanna bet?”

“On?” Luffy shuffles closer, grinning around his apple and she shrugs a shoulder, feigning disinterest. 

“How long it takes dumb and dumber to get their shit together.” 

Usopp really doesn’t know how much he’d be willing to put into this. The way that they fight’s more pigtail-pulling than anything, and that in and of itself is telling— Not to mention, again, how this has been going on for months. Sanji would give Zoro shit for being messy but then go to clean anyway, only to find Zoro’s things already packed. Zoro would snip at the cook for being rigid about dessert before dinner and then find a slice of sour raspberry tart on his bunk, way after teatime was over. Usopp had honestly thought they’d been doing it out of spite, but now…

Then again, with how repressed the both of them were? “…A hundred berry, one month,” he decides, and Nami wrinkles her nose.

“Stingy,” she complains, but she’s hiding a smile as she turns to their captain. “Luffy?”

The boy hums thoughtfully, twisting around. “Are you two kissing?” he yells, and Usopp’s heart fucking drops to the floorboards as the pair stares at them wide-eyed and bursts into protests.

“What— this idiot?”

“The hell? No! Why would you—”

“—on any planet would I ever—”

“Absolutely fucking not. His refined palate—”

“—His brains are in his biceps—”

“Okay,” Luffy says, shrugging as he finishes the last of his apple, core and all, and flings a singular seed into the tiny bin by the sink with startling precision. “Five hundred, two weeks.” 

Usopp can’t help it. He bursts into laughter, smacking his forehead into the tabletop as he clutches at his stomach and the twinge in his ribs. He can hear Sanji’s panicked shouts of “what? What were you betting on? Usopp, tell me now—” and Zoro growling, “Luffy, I swear if this is what I think it is—” and oh. 

The sniper grins into the table. Oho. Did that not imply that Zoro knew something was going on? He could be wrong, but— “Seven-fifty, one week.”

“A thousand!” Luffy counters immediately, and Usopp cackles helplessly because he knows that his captain’s just shouting out numbers now, Luffy doesn’t even have the money. 

“How about we spill the beans on what the hell we’re betting on, and I make us all a special dinner, hm?” Sanji pleads, and it’s honestly funny how hard he’s trying to find out. 

“Absolutely not,” Nami replies, her grin saccharine sweet. “A joint bet of one thousand, seven hundred and fifty berry for one week. Y’know,” she studies her cuticles, pursing her lips in an unbothered moue, “This is the one time that I’d be happy not to collect. Don’t let me down, hm?” She gets up and slides out the galley door, and they hear her laughing all the way down the hall. 

Zoro looks like he’s about to have a conniption. Sanji has his hands buried in his hair, looking up at the ceiling and turning around like he’s begging for a divine answer. Usopp and Luffy share a gleeful look.

This is going to be a marvellously interesting week.

fin.

#zosan #one piece zosan #zoro x sanji #ronoroa zoro #black leg sanji #THESE FUCKING IDIOTS #this was hilarious to write #i love them so much #they’re so stupid #ALSO NAMI AND USOPP WOULD BE BESTIES PLEASE #THEY GOSSIP AND TALK SHIT!! #one piece zoro #one piece sanji #one piece #ask box #ino’s ask box

[paragonraptors]

more legion posting

#my art #legion of superheroes #brainiac 5 #invisible kid #shrinking violet #andromeda #lightning lad #cosmic boy #bouncing boy #lyle norg x querl dox #dc let me write legion i will write the funniest love triangle between lyle querl and laurel #i think its hilarious brainy's got andromeda fucking biting at the bars of her enclosure like girl you're so valid #i also think the garth/irma/rokk love triangle is great but we could go even harder #the ideal legion energy is where they have college dorm levels of drama

[megaawkwardhuman]

Vampire guillermo this

Human nandor that

What if they did some freaky friday type shit and have nandor and guillermo switch bodies? Now that would be funny

#I mean I still would like to see vampire guillermo and human nandor but it would be fucking hilarious if they did this #and like it would give guillermo the opportunity to test out being vampire and vice versa #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #throwing up my thoughts onto tumblr again #if I was good at writing I would have written this as a fic #*insert joke about them being inside each other*