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#Tim and Jason trolling Dick
fae-of-the-wild · 4 months
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So you know the current trend of doing a short performance of whatever art they got taught as a child instead of some martial arts to “Let’s Get Loud” by Jennifer Lopez?
I can absolutely see the BatKids and the rest of the younger generation of the heroes doing this. I can see them doing a lot of TikTok/YT Shorts trends.
Dick and Stephanie leading the charge. Cass and Jason are both dramatic, artsy and trolls, they love it.
Tim gets forcibly dragged into it and eventually finds joy in the photography aspect.
Duke is vibing with his chaos siblings.
Damien refuses not to be the best at anything.
Jarro does his best but as a starfish alien it’s hard to do the moves designed for a human body. He does enjoy sending them back and forth with his family though.
The kids have two channels (in costume and out): one that’s PG13 and one for the legal adults to post stuff that’s on the sexier side. (You can’t tell me these dramatic shits wouldn’t have a thirst trap-ish channel that they do not let their underage siblings be on.)
They drag Bruce into it as a way of family bonding expecting him to fail… he doesn’t. Man has game. Please see the long list of exes in and out of costume.
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queerenteen · 2 years
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Do y'all think the Batfam makes fun of Jason for how dramatic he was after he came back? Like, the Lazarus pit may have made him supernaturally insane but it did not make him a theatre nerd.
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Steph: *wheezing* Those are the heads of all of your lieutenants. That took me two hours. You wanna see what I get done in a whole evening?
Jason: Please, stop
Dick: *almost crying tears of laughter* Make no mistake. I'm not asking you to cut in with me, I'm telling you!
Jason: That's it, you're dead to me
Steph and Dick: *look at each other before the laughter intensifies*
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Tim: Did you face me at Titan's Tower because it was thematically the correct option for your corruption arc?
Jason: That's it, I'm taking back my apology
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Duke: Does the Joker have to be dead because that's the only satisfying parallel for you? Does being sent into the Phantom Zone or something not count--
Jason: *shaking his head* I didn't expect this from ya.
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Damian: Decapitation is so messy, there are so many other things you could have done--
Babs: *over the comm line* He just wanted to make a dramatic entry. And also a threat from the Middle Ages. Now can you please focus on catching the robber--
Jason: It worked didn't it?!
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Jason: *after Cass steals his leather jacket* Cass please you don't even like leather jackets
Cass: Maybe I don't. Or is this just the real me?
Jason: *bangs his head against the wall*
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Bruce: Why did you decide to take on Black Mask by yourself?!
Jason: *scowling with his arm in a splint* I can handle it.
Alfred: It was incredibly foolish of you Master Jason. Your own response on easier ways to die was, "Yeah, like yelling at the guy who's holding the AK-47." Now, would you care to explain why you charged into a room yelling at over a dozen people with AK-47s?
Jason: I give up
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wolvierinez · 27 days
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tim gets trolled one and two bc i cant remember if i posted the first one..
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cephalog0d · 6 months
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Batkid Drabble - "Hide"
Only Dick’s excellent reflexes saved his smoothie from going all over his front when Tim came sprinting around the corner and collided with him.
“Whoa, where’s the fire?”
“Shit, sorry, uh, I need to hide,” Tim said rapidly, glancing around like there was a good spot in the mostly empty corridor.
“Tim!” Jason’s voice shouted after him.
“I got you,” Dick said with a grin. Without giving Tim a chance to respond, he flung his hoodie around Tim, zipped it up, and turned back to face the direction Jason was coming from.
“Dick!” Tim squawked, trying to wriggle free from where he was pinned up against his brother’s back.
“Shh,” Dick said. He leaned one shoulder against the wall and waited.
A couple of seconds later, Jason came storming around the corner, scowling heavily.
“Hey, have you seen-” He stopped as he actually looked at Dick, with his weird-fitting hoodie and extra feet.
“Are you fucking kidding me.”
“Seen what?” Dick gave him his very best look of wide-eyed clueless innocence and took an especially loud slurp of his drink.
“You know what? No. I’m not doing this.” Jason waved a hand vaguely in Dick (and Tim’s) direction to indicate what “this” was.
“Doing what, Jay?” Dick asked sweetly.
“Nope.” Jason turned to walk away. “You’re both idiots. I have shit to do. But don’t think I’m going to just let this go, Drake!”
“I cannot believe that actually worked,” Tim said when he was gone, his voice muffled by fabric. Dick obligingly unzipped his hoodie to free his little brother, his smile going much sharper and less innocent.
“Jason’s tolerance for obfuscating nonsense is shockingly low. Now,” Dick slung an arm around Tim’s shoulder, “what did you do to annoy him and how can I help make it worse?”
((Cross-posted to AO3))
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dizaryswrites · 1 year
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Batfam as things my brother & cousins said over Christmas:
Dick: "If that ends up tasting good, I want to try a bite."
Jason, cooking: "Yeah yeah I know, the troll toll."
---
Damian: "Who's your favorite?"
Dick: "None of you, you don't deserve my love."
Tim: "So all those movie nights meant nothing?"
Dick: "They meant something but not enough."
---
Bruce: "If you watch a zombie movie, Tim won't be able to sleep tonight."
Tim: "I was thirteen!"
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Damian: "Look at this picture of Titus. Isn't it adorable? Here's another, you can see how big he's getting. And-"
Jason not looking up from the food he's cooking: "I love you so I'm going to be honest. I do not care."
---
*watching the movie*
Stephanie: "He's baby girl material."
Duke: "But he's just standing there??"
Tim: "I hope you know if he dies, my mental health will spiral."
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bruciemilf · 1 year
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The Batfam having twitter accounts is fun but have you considered: batfam on tumblr
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Ash’s Bruce Wayne headcannons, because why not (not a complete list, I just got bored):
- Messes up Hal Jordan’s name on purpose to screw with him, calls him hale, gal, hill, etc. drives him mad.
- Cannot figure out a contingency plan for if Alfred goes rogue
- Has his own crowbar fear after Jason was beaten to death
- Has a fake Twitter he uses to troll the justice league
- Regularly makes appearances at gun ranges and subscribes to gun magazines to throw people off that he’s Batman
- Doesn’t subscribe to plastic bottled water, not sure why
- Installed butt coolers in the batmobile
- Needs Alfred to give him a manicure every few days because anyone else would get suspicious about the callouses and stuff.
- “I beg your pardon?!” Bruce, without missing a beat “Then beg.
- Has terrible posture- all the work he does combined with little to no sleep and hours spent at a computer at his age? Nah, that guys spine is SCREWED UP. This is cannon.
- Has hinted in interviews that he is Superman
- Leaves a tracker on Jon Kent to track Damian because they’re always together and Damian would find it if he hid it on him
- Pays flash (Wally West) 1000 dollars every 10 seconds to pick up bullet casings and batarangs from around Gotham
- Has gone to business casual brunch with Lex Luther several times
- Personally thinks that Harper Row should replace him as Batman
- Has intense vivid fantasies of how he’d torture and kill the joker
- Edits Clark’s Newspaper articles with a red pen and sends them back to him, occasionally gives them grades. He’ll even write letters to the editor about how they’re stupid and boring and totally not realistic, like “has this guy ever even seen Superman? He’s not 6”3, he’s 5”10 at best. You need more reliable journalists, this is ridiculous.”
- Has imaginary arguments in the shower
- dresses as Robin on Halloween
- Will only drink alcohol with Alfred, no one else
Might keep doing these, might not.
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trying414 · 1 year
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I have never had this thought before tonight but now it won't leave, so I've decided to inflict it on all of you.
Do you think the Robins ever troll Batman with "The Best of Both Worlds" from Hannah Montana?
Whether that means they refer to themselves or him specifically doesn't matter. The point is, I could see all of the Robins (except Damian) pulling off some big lipsync number for it just to embarass him 🤣 or even just starting to have it play over the speakers at the watchtower when he walks in to a JL meeting 🤣🤣🤣
Edit: like the Presentation in Despicable Me becoming a meme but digital: the batkids all modify a super serious™️ presentation where the first slide is normal and then it becomes a montage of the differences between Brucie and Batman all to The Best of Both Worlds
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ramusn · 1 year
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Jason is a protective brother.
I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense in the gritty and angst canon, but I like to believe Jason will give his brothers hell but will ultimately be the most protective of them.
Punching Dick? No problem.
Some random punk ass gang got a few sucker punches on his big brother and then got away?
One week later every single member is found beaten up in front a police station.
Teasing Tim for being awkward around  Bernard? A necessity.
Some dude makes a snide homophobic remark to Tim? His Tiny Robin Tim?
Nope, Jason just punches the dude on the throat.
Trolling the Demon brat? His duty as a big brother.
Damian is in a tight spot with some rogue?
Nah, Red Hood apparently just materializes in the scene and takes them out, Damian had under control? Yes, did Jason care? No.
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wahta-auqa · 1 month
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Part 2 of Danny the Troll
Part 1 | Masterpost
When Danny moved into the Wayne Mansion, the first thing he did was snoop around. He had a close call with Vlad, he wasn’t going to be stuck in another mansion with another fruit loop. So yeah, now he is wandering around the mansion, as phantom and invisible, so far, nothing has happened, nothing was out of place, but he knew there were something off about this place. So, after dinner, he told everyone he was going to go to sleep and went upstairs. After waiting an hour, and perfecting ‘Pillow Danny’ to take his place, he turned into phantom once more.
First, he stuck his head out into the hall, making sure no one was there and then proceeded to walk around the mansion to find somebody. He found Alfred in the kitchen cleaning, and Duke talking to him about how exciting it was not being the new guy but wished that they could tell him the truth of the family. Danny got suspicious. This truth needs to be known, especially with his own secrets. He decided to see if they had a basement. Maybe they had some super-secret laboratory that he could poke his nose around. He phased through the floor but only got a cave system, which was odd and its own way, but not unheard of. As he was leaving, he heard voices and got his guard back up. When he followed them, he found Damien and Dick fighting in a ring with Cass, Jason, Tim and Steph egging them on. ‘Great,’ thought Danny thought, they have some super-secret underground fighting ring.
Before Danny could decide his next plan of action, a gruff loud voice cut through the cave, “Dick, Damian. It’s time to go.” And there he was, Bruce in a Batman costume, pulling a mask over his face. Danny paused and then looked around the cave. A dinosaur sculpture, a giant penny, the batmobile, motorcycles, a computer set, a medical room and so much his brain felt like it was being fried. ‘WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FU-’ His own thoughts stalled as he looked at his new-kind of-not really-siblings. Damian was dressed as Robin without a mask, Dick was dressed as Nightwing with joggers on, Cass was Orphan wearing a red jacket, Jason was pulling on a Red Hood’s helmet, Tim was Red Robin in a lab coat, and Steph was Spoiler wearing a coat over her suit.
‘NO,’ Danny thought, ‘THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING’ and flew up, back to his room. Danny transformed back and started pacing around his room. “I can’t stay here,” he mumbled to himself, “It’s too dangerous.” “I gotta talk to Sam and Tucker,” Danny went to his the desk and started his laptop. He opened his browser and typed in ‘disco’ with Discord auto-filling, but when he pressed enter, the auto-filled result changed. The browser opened his Twitch channel ‘The Crazy Theories of Unknown’ to a specific stream he had done with Wes, ‘Fallout & Discourse: The Ecto Acts Repealed.’ Danny, in his shocked state, just looked at the screen. He did this stream just before he was taken away from his parents for negligence.
Around 2 months, the Justice League came to Amity, to corral the GIW and inform everyone in Amity, that the GIW and Ecto Acts were fake. A couple days later, Wes came to him, apologizing and wanting to make it up to him for trying to reveal his identity. In the craze of GIW being revealed, their intent was also revealed, plans of dissecting any ghosts they got their hands on, the bombs they tried to send to the Ghost Zone and the media blackout they put around the Amity and surrounding towns. So, they planned the stream, one just explaining what the GIW did, what ghosts were, everything here, there, everywhere, and what it was like as a civilian teenager living in Amity. It was his last stream and his most popular one.
It got focus on him and his family, revealing that his parents were sending money to support the GIW through Vlad. Thus starting an investigation at his home, Child Protective Services got involved, and then Jazz and him were being taken away. CPS explained that their home life was dangerous and that their parents were neglectful, which they didn’t comment on, just side-eyed each other. Once alone, Jazz explained she wasn’t angry at him and that she, too, had been trying to get in contact with CPS for the last 2 to 3 years. Jazz told him everything would be fine now, they would likely be put into housing together, and she would try to get custody when she turned 18. Jazz had a job and had been saving any and all the money she could, but then the other shoe dropped.
Photos and videos of Jazz had been released shooting at ghosts and being congratulated by their parents. Which was a huge misunderstanding, Jazz was helping Phantom, not their parents, but CPS had decided to separate them. Jazz was only months away from turning 18 and, therefore, was going to be sent somewhere for temporary housing. While Danny still had a little under 3 years before he turned 18, so he was going to be given semi-permanent housing. Jazz was being housed at her boyfriend’s house while CPS sent Danny out of state. Apparently, the Justice League recommended it, stating that Danny had shown more reactive behaviour to the ghost attacks and needed more around-the-clock supervision.
Jazz only relented when she was granted access to communicate with Danny and was told that she still could petition to be his guardian when she turned 18. Sam and Tucker thought this was a good opportunity for him to also get away from the ghosts and town, since the portal was shut down when his house got investigated. Danny was going to live with this billionaire with an adoption problem. He was also going to be homeschooled for the time being, so that he could catch up on schoolwork on his own time and not be overwhelmed by his now resounding fame.
Now? He’s just found out that the Wayne family are vigilantes. While staring at his and Wes’ faces for another 5 minutes, he had an idea, it wasn’t a good one, but also just so devious.
One Week Later
Danny had spent the last week talking about streaming again around the Wayne’s. What he wanted to cover and even did a ‘I’m Back!’ stream, to commit to the bit. He had asked everyone if they wanted to be part of his streams, and his first one was about Batman and Robin. That got Bruce and Damian’s attention, they both asked questions about the stream, and Danny waved them off with an answer of “I’m only going over the origins of them,” which got Dick’s attention. Danny asked the three of them to join, but Damian didn’t want to be on camera, so Jason offered to join. Setting the next part of his plan in motion.
The following day, Danny scheduled the stream 3 hours before the Wayne's usually leave the Batcave, and Bruce was getting his extra microphones. Danny brought down his computer and cameras, setting them up in the main seating room. While Damian wasn’t going to be on camera, he wanted to watch, so did Dick, Duke, Tim, Steph, Alfred and their family friend Barbara. Jason was in his seat, messing with his hair when he asked, “So, is the anything you want us to be prepared for in the stream?” Danny paused and pretended to think about it, “No, I want honest reactions and just give your Gotham 2 cents.” Danny was borrowing one of Tim's computers to put in front of Bruce and Jason. It was on the Twitch, pre-live waiting screen, so they will be able to see themselves and see any questions. His own computer would control what everyone would be seeing.
Danny had the room rearranged. He moved a single seater beside the tv but left some room for his mic, and put a table for his laptop on the other side of the chair. Across from him was the couch and the coffee table for the laptop for Bruce and Jason. The TV was hooked up to his computer to mirror one of his laptop screens, to the slideshow he premade. He would also be mirroring the slideshow in Twitch as an overlay so they could see it better. The tv was only for them really. 
Bruce came with the extra mic, and Danny helped set it up on their side of the room. When Bruce and Jason took their seats, everyone else had also taken a seat out of the camera’s view, Bruce asked, “This is my first time being on the Twitch, is it like radio? Do we have some delay to fix any mistakes?” Danny stopped and thought about it this time, “Maybe, I wouldn’t know how to do that, I’m not that advanced.” Danny went to take his seat, and started testing his microphone, “Testing, One Two Three, Tri Du Unu Testado” Jason raised his eyebrow at the Esperanto, “What langua-” “So, the stream will start with me introducing myself, and then you both can introduce yourselves. I will end the introduction with the segment.” Danny started the slideshow, it was a title card for his channel, ‘Danny Fenton: The Crazy Theories of Unknown,’ with some pictures of Batman and the various different Robins, as a sneak peek of what’s to come.
“Wait, how did you get those pictures?” Bruce looked puzzled, as some of these photo’s, he didn’t even recognized, score one for ghost photographers. “Don’t worry about it.” Danny started typing into his computer and started playing light music. “So the stream will start in 5” “Wait, we don-” 
“4” “have anythin-”
“3” “prepared”
“2” And like a switch, they slipped on easy going smiles.
“Hey, everyone, I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.” A rush of chats came flying in from over 12,000 different people. “I’m Danny, and I have some guests here today. My fost-wait- maybe we should have gone over introductions beforehand?” Danny paused dramatically, looking dead into the camera. “The Wayne who has been housing me for the last month.” Danny nodded to Bruce and Jason. Bruce went first, “Hello, I’m Bruce Wayne. I’ve never done The Twitch before, I hope I can learn something new.” Bruce tilted his head and kept his smile going. Jason’s smile strained a bit when Bruce called it ‘The Twitch’ before introducing himself, “I’m Jason, and I hope he stops calling it ‘The Twitch’.” Jason side-eyed Bruce before Danny continued with, “So today’s segment is all about Gotham’s Vigilantes.” Danny’s smile just turned up a little more, “And how Batman never really existed, and Robin was the first true vigilante of Gotham”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Fun Fact: Whenever I write Barbara’s name, I have to write Bara Bara, then take away the ‘a’ and the space.
Also, this is what the room looks like, here. Just imagine a TV set up in the middle.
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incorrectbatfam · 10 months
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what social media platforms are the BatFam banned from, and why? idk why but I feel like Alfred's been banned from AllRecipies.com.
Dick: Club Penguin, for saying "butts"
Jason: TikTok, for refusing to say "unalive"
Tim: YouTube, for impersonating Red Robin
Damian: Minecraft, for refusing to kill wolves in a world called Wolf Hunters Royale
Duke: Google Earth, for renaming Metropolis "Metropolass"
Cullen: Ao3, for posting links to discontinued video games disguised as fanfics
Stephanie: Yelp, for reviewing restaurants she's never been to
Cassandra: Steam, for making a new account for every game she downloads
Barbara: Wikipedia, for editing the Birds of Prey page without citing her sources
Harper: Tumblr, for pretending to be OSHA
Carrie: Webkinz, for having too many Webkinz
Kate: Discord, for trolling an NFT trading server
Alfred: AllRecipes, for posting Bruce's creations
Selina: Dropbox, for sharing corporate secrets
Bruce: Twitter, for doxxing Elon Musk
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dovakiinwitcher · 1 month
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Batfamily As Interactions With My Own Siblings
- Call and response with quotes or song lyrics. Dick and/or Steph use this most often since most of their siblings are angsty (Jason, Tim, Damian, Cass), so this forces them to acknowledge them. To not respond is of the HIGHEST offense.
- Sometimes Damian, or Cass, will come flying out of nowhere to surprise attack one of their siblings. Frankly, all of them do this, but those two are most common. Poor Duke is always the most caught off guard, in spite of his powers.
- Tim is almost always the last one down for dinner. Sometimes, he doesn’t even come down until after everyone else has eaten. Alfred is always kind enough to leave a plate for him to reheat. One time, he found that plate on the floor beneath a laundry basket that was propped up by a stick, cartoon-trap style. His siblings were hiding around the corner, watching him intently.
- Jason sometimes gets distracted in the bathroom, picking at scabs or old scars on his face in the mirror. His siblings (particularly Damian) get really pissed if they've heard the toilet flush and still have to wait for ten minutes to use the bathroom. (Jason has pointed out that there are other bathrooms. This doesn't prevent him from getting yelled at.)
- Duke has been known to go on fierce literary rants to Jason. Most recently about a certain shitty book he had to read for school.
- Tim started a DnD campaign with Dick, Barbara, and Duke. The party got sidetracked going undercover as an "exterminator" company, and helping a poor milliner jumpstart her hat business (don't ask how those were related). Tim is scared that they may have completely forgotten their original quest.
- Sometimes Steph forgets who she's told something to, and will repeat information to people who've already heard this from her.
- Jason, on the other hand, will forget what he HAS been told by people, and infuriates people with his questions of things he's already "had this conversation about."
- Bruce has repeatedly told Damian that Batcow is not a house pet. Nonetheless, he's found Damian in his room reading a book to his cow several times.
- Dick and Jason have reenacted many YouTube videos on patrols, from quoting back and forth to one another, to performing dangerous parkour stunts.
- Damian once tried to strangle Jason after he won Unstable Unicorns by almost exclusively trolling Damian and preventing him from gaining a final unicorn five times in a row. In one game. Damian has still not forgiven him.
- Jason once offered Tim a hit of his cigarette. Dick later found out and flipped his shit.
- The kitchen is a hazardous place to be. The kids pretend to stab each other a lot.
- Jason communicates primarily through saying either "I'll kill you," or "I'd rather die." Although sometimes, when someone's talking (typically Steph or Dick), he'll randomly interject to say, "you're a [insert obscure twist of their words]."
- For example, Steph was once vacuuming the rug with a very old vacuum and said, "this vacuum would be terrible at cocaine." Jason replied from the couch, not looking up from his book, "you're a terrible cocaine vacuum."
- The siblings binged the Chernobyl HBO series in one night. Right off the bat, Damian went on a rant about how irresponsible the guy committing suicide was for not finding his cat a new home first and just leaving out food. He also had to leave the room during the dog part in later episodes. When Dick was sent to tell him it was over, he was found with his face buried in Titus and/or Ace's fur.
- On a lighter note, Jason commentated over many of the really heavy parts of that documentary, making it way funnier than it was supposed to be. Sometimes he genuinely argued with the TV.
- There is a quote book of obscure things they've said out of context. Here are some excerpts:
"Haha, losers, imagine having parents." - Jason
"And that's why child labor is good and justifiable." - Steph
"They really underestimate my stabbing abilities." - Damian
"This jacket is vegan leather. Which means I skinned a vegan and turned them into a jacket." - Cass
"That's how my brain works; it doesn't." - Tim
"But we're stressful together." - Dick
"As Thomas the Tank Engine once said: chuga chuga choo choo, I'm a sexy dinosaur." - Also Dick
"If you wouldn't have been killed by Nazis, are you even an interesting person?" - Duke
"Alright, shit pisser, let's rumble." - Jason
"Keep your rabid animal away from my crab legs." - Barbara
- Barbara has a tendency to play true crime podcasts while she works. People only ever seem to walk in during the weirdest parts. She doesn't feel the need to explain herself; she finds the looks on their faces hilarious.
- The household Alexa will respond to Dick unprompted, and it genuinely freaks him out. It doesn't do that for anyone else, and he thinks it's out to get him. This is why he has a Google at home in Blüdhaven instead.
- Jason isn't the most hygienic person, which concerns the family sometimes. Dick had learned that when he visits wherever Jason is living at the moment and "oops, forgets" his shampoo or body wash or whatever, Jason will end up using it. Jason has caught on, but will never openly admit that he's grateful for it.
- Dick will ruffle Damian's hair out of affection. Tim will do it to piss him off.
- Tim and Damian often kick each other without any other interaction. Bruce finds it troubling. Dick reminds him that he and Jason used to do the same thing (mainly Jason kicking Dick).
- When Tim and Steph play video games, it's not uncommon for Steph to hijack a car just to try to run Tim over while he tries to do side quests.
- Cass is the Super Smash Bros champion. And the Mario Kart champion. And tends to carry everyone when playing multi-player. Mostly because Steph tries to sabotage them at every corner, and only Cass is able to adapt.
I may do more of these, but I didn't want this to be TOO long.
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vivianthepigeon · 3 months
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Batfam as quotes from my life (with little to no context) pt 6?
Jason: “It’s called boob, that’s hilarious.”
Tim: “I sucked it, easy!”
Cass: “He adopted me.”
Steph: “No he didn’t, he just told the police you were his kid”
Damian: “No offense but my dad makes more money than yours.”
Dick: “Hello? Child protective services? My dad said he doesn’t love us”
Bruce: “You all think you’re so important.”
Tim: “Ignorance is not bliss, ignorance is…danger”
Dick: “I’m aware he’s a troll but boy oh boy golly gee whiz!”
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headcanonthings · 1 year
Conversation
Dick, to a crying Tim: Aww, what's wrong sweetheart?
Tim: Karen said I'm an ugly troll.
Dick: Now that ain't true. You're as cute as a bugs ear.
Tim: Brothers have to say stuff like that.
Dick: Hey, Jason! Am I as cute as a bugs ear?
Jason: No you're as ugly as a mule's butt!
Dick, to Tim: There, see?
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cephalog0d · 7 months
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Batkid Drabbles - "Interrupt"
“So hypothetically if you nerve-striked someone-” Steph started.
“That’s not a word,” Damian interrupted.
“Striked? Struck? Nerve-struck?” Cass said thoughtfully to herself.
“It’s a noun, not a verb,” Tim put in. “You would do a nerve strike. Or you did one on someone.”
“Yes, thank you, Captain Pedantic, for your invaluable input, I definitely wasn’t doing that on purpose for humor and brevity,” Steph said with an emphatic eye roll.
“Don’t know why you’re surprised. Pedantry is the real Bat superpower,” Jason said.
“Says the guy who got upset about someone incorrectly pluralizing court-martial,” Tim pointed out.
“It was military fiction! They should know better! Martial is an adjective, dammit!”
“Unless you’re using it as a verb, like someone’s being court-martialed,” Tim countered. Jason opened his mouth to respond (presumably to explain why that was still wrong), but Dick beat him to it.
“Well, you can’t really conjugate an adjective,” he said. Jason made a dramatic “thank you” gesture in his direction, but Dick continued, with an extremely straight face, “so it should be courted-martial.”
“I hate you.”
Dick just gave Jason his best Clueless Rich Boy face; it did not improve Jason’s glare.
“I did actually have a point,” Steph said in an effort to drag them back on track.
“About being nerve-struck,” Cass added with a grin, jabbing a finger sharply in Damian’s direction vaguely at the level of his neck. He just shot her a sour look.
“Something I would be thrilled to demonstrate on some people,” he said.
“Great!” Steph said gleefully. “Come here and let me hit you.”
“Wha- That is not what I meant.”
“No nerve-striking in the lounge,” Dick said.
“It’s not a verb,” Jason and Damian objected in unison, giving each other a commiserating look while everyone else devolved unhelpfully into laughter.
(Cross-posted to AO3)
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violent138 · 11 months
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One of my most cherished batfam headcanons is that Damian comes to Bruce for help catching up on homework. The second Bruce gets stuck, Tim, Babs, Dick and Steph get involved, all of them but mainly Alfred trolling Bruce for dropping out.
In the end, Damian goes to see Jason, who puts up a big show of being irritated but then excitedly explains the Twelth Knight.
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