jjk ; toji ; w2409 ; s4w
summary : absentee boyfriend tells you he ‘ needs more time ’ after you text him during a moment of self-pity ( it’s fluff !!! )
prompt : it's a surprise bc i don't want to ruin it lol - i'll make it purple in the text
an : his texts are bolded / what's in parenthesis is unread ; if you only want to read toji's parts, skip 'french ex-pat bar' ( but i'd at least read the last few lines of that entry ) ; i held on to this for a few days thinking it was too sweet but :) pt 5 :) won’t be :)
warning : swearing ; alcohol ; drunk reader ; ( 1 ) suggestive statement ; kissing ; indirect nanami slander
It's days like this -awful and neverending- that you wish you had a normal life. A normal relationship. Anything to hold onto when things go fuck-all wrong.
Not that anything had even really gone wrong, per se. Just annoying as hell, and as you flop onto your couch like dead weight, the urge to quit and book a one way ticket to [country] all but burns your fingers and wells tears in your eyes.
"Idiots," you say, voice falling flat in the lonely silence of your apartment as you remember your day at work.
Sighing, you kick your legs onto the edge of the couch, eyes fixing blankly on the ceiling.
"Uh- Toji," you say, laughing at yourself as you press your palms into your eyes.
And as though he's heard you, your phone chimes with his text tone, a 'haha' in response to whatever meme you'd sent him a few days earlier.
You stare at it, watching the text bubble show and disappear for a few minutes, and imagine where he is or what he may be doing. Probably sitting in some grimy bar, eating a bowl of curry while shitty music plays in the background.
Fed up with the wandering text bubble, you decide to just message him.
What are you doing?
[picture of curry bowl]
Planning my next move
You should come home
🥲 I guess I miss you or whatever 🤪
Had a shit day at work so I'm just
sitting at home
He's quiet long enough for you to switch to LINE and see what Mei Mei and Ieiri are up to before deciding you'd rather not have to listen to either of them shit on your boyfriend.
I'm gonna go get shitfaced and wallow in self pity
Have fun w your planning
(Don't go alone)
(You're going to drive me to drink ffs)
French Ex-Pat Bar
"’n I don’even know what I'm supposed to do with that, ya’know?"
Your best friend nods along, eyes focused on her computer screen as she works.
"I dunno," you sigh, asking the bartender for another apple Martini before looking back at your phone. "Sometimes I just wanna come home. I don't really need to be here to do my job any" -you hiccup- "more."
"What about el boyfriend?"
Your nose wrinkles. "Wow. Bitches get a week-long streak in Duolingo and thin" -you hiccup again, frowning at your new drink- "think they're Camila Cabello, huh?"
"First of all - ew," she says, but she's laughing as she looks back at her phone.
Through your drunken daze, you feel your heart aching at how long it's been since you last saw her in person. "Her boyfriend's hot," you shrug.
"Are they still dating?"
"You're right! Because I asked about your boyfriend."
You resist the urge to down your drink. "Toji? He...it probably wouldn't matter to him whether I stay or go."
A look of disbelief flickers across her face before she says, "Riiiight. That definitely adds up."
"I'm a cun-convenience," you say, getting hung up on the word.
"Oh? Did he say that?"
"Well, no," you frown. "You're supposed to be helpin’ me, bestie."
"From where I'm standing -sitting" -she laughs at her own joke- "he's gotten his shit together for you, y/N. I'm sure he could have a far easier time with literally any other person-"
"Wha-what does that mean?"
"You're difficult," she picks her phone up, the call pausing as she clicks away. "You don’t really want a boyfriend who is constantly there, y/n/N. You’d lose your mind. But you still want that closeness. And you're sitting, crying in some weird luxury Swiss bar-"
"It's French," you counter. "We literally came here. Above the candy store."
"Oh. Right. That place - god, are you really so miserable you felt the need to buy overpriced liquor?"
"Between you and I, you idiots are in love. However complicated that is. And, anyway, I gotta go. Conference call. Looks like you're in capable hands-"
"You think French ex-pats constitute 'capable hands?' Really?"
She laughs. "Not at all. But I do think the man behind you is wholly able to deal with your shit."
"See ya, y/N. Don't quit your job, okay? Stay and have really hot, mysterious babies."
"You want me to have hot babies?"
She snorts out a laugh before saying, "K, bye!"
"Uh- how lame," you pout, taking your earbuds from your ears and putting them in their case.
A scowl forms on your lips when someone sits next to you, but before you can give them a dirty look you get a lungful of Toji, your whole mind restarting at the realization.
"You're a menace, you know that?" He asks, the slightest hint of humor in his voice.
You all but throw yourself into him, your face pressing into his shoulder. "Am I difficult?"
"No. You're a pain in my ass, though. How much have you had to drink?"
"Not much- we should- yeah. We should have a drink together, Toji."
"Can I have her check?" He asks the bartender as he passes. "And take this," he says, pushing your half-drunken martini away.
"No," he tells you, green eyes pinning you in place.
You frown, propping your elbows on the bar top and squishing your cheeks between your hands. "You do think 'm difficult. "
"Good, you ate something," he says, mostly to himself as he looks over your bill. He makes to hand you your card before grabbing your card holder from it's spot next to your phone and slipping it in himself before pocketing it.
"Let's go," he tells you, handing you your phone before dropping some cash in your billfold.
"You can't just show up and boss me around."
"Can't I?" He asks as you get up. "They really oughta be ashamed of themselves for serving you," he grumbles as his arm slips around your waist to support you.
"I'm a grown woman- "
Somewhere in Tokyo
You blink a few times, taking a sip of your too hot coffee as you kick your legs out in front of you. The night gets clearer as you sober up, and the realization that your boyfriend and best friend conspired across continents causes your already hot face to burn.
"I don’t find you difficult," Toji says, breaking the silence that had built since he’d bought you a coffee.
"I know. [Best friend’s name] is just a dick sometimes…How did you find me?"
"She has your location. We have a deal."
"You…you have a deal?"
He turns his coffee cup in his hand, pointedly not looking at you from where he sits slumped lazily against the park bench. "Yes."
"You don't go drinking, y/N. Alone-"
"There's plenty I do alone, Toji," you roll your eyes.
He laughs dryly before saying, "I don't know how you constantly manage to fuck me up with just a few words." He sighs before sipping his coffee. "It should count as a weakness."
His brows raise in thought, and then he finally looks at you. He’s all sleepy-eyed and pale with exhaustion, his hair pushed back with a headband he’s very obviously stolen from you at some point. "Mine," he admits. "I came home because you asked me to, for the record."
Your eyes widen in surprise, and you take another sip of your coffee to distract yourself from the weight of his confession. "Has it always been that easy?"
He laughs again, this time with humor, and stretches his long arm out over the back of the bench. "For the majority of our relationship, yes."
You laugh, too, before teasing, "No one man should have all that power."
"Tell me about it," he sighs, turning toward you. His kneecap presses into your hip when he lifts his leg to rest on the seat. "Why are you upset?"
"You just spent twenty-thousand yen on alcohol-"
"And a big salad-"
"And a big salad," he adds, clearly unimpressed. "And you got me here, y/N. So, what’s wrong?"
"Where were you?"
"Nowhere," he shrugs.
"It’s not important, I just…” You suck in a deep breath before saying, "I had a long day at work and wanted to feel something normal."
"Getting drunk on a Thursday isn’t normal. Not for you."
"Fine. I realized nothing about my life here is quite normal, not since I met you, and I didn’t feel like meeting up with my" -you look in his direction but don’t quite meet his gaze- "friends because they’d just tell me to break up with you. To date someone normal, like that dude in the suit-
"Who, for the record, is very clearly not normal. Who makes a tan suit their everyday look, anyway? It’s insane.
"But. I didn’t want to hear that and I couldn’t sit in that apartment so terribly alone, either. So…I was happy when you texted me.
"Really happy," you half laugh, disbelief flooding you. Taking a sip of coffee, you steel yourself and ask the question that’s been burning in your mind for too long: "Which…what are we doing, Toji?"
He seems surprised for a moment, eyes searching yours, and you don’t know what to make of it. It leaves you feeling naked, vulnerable, and you can’t help but wish you were still drunk.
"I need more time."
Your brow creases in confusion. "What?"
His fingers are warm when they brush your cheek, his thumb grazing your bottom lip as an afterthought. "I need more time to answer that, y/N."
"Am I…Will I be upset with your answer?"
He leans in for a kiss, the most innocent of touches, and it causes butterflies in your stomach. "I didn’t expect to feel this way again…and I didn’t want to," he tells you, brushing another kiss to your lips. "But it’s been years, y/N. I need more time to make it right."
"I don’t understand," you admit, turning out of his hold. "But, ok."
He reaches over to take your hand, thumb brushing slowly over your knuckles before he brings them to his lips. "I appreciate it."
"Whatever," you say, sighing before you finish off your coffee. "It's only because I like you," you admit, nose wrinkling. "How embarrassing."
He gets up, pulling you with him. "No one has to know," he tells you, hand coming up to cradle your jaw before he kisses you. "And if your friends don’t support you, you need new friends."
"No offense, Mr. Sociable, but you’re the last person I’d take relationship advice from." You smile as he kisses you again, this time harder, and you can taste the bitter flavor of his black-coffee on his lips.
"Come," he tells you, letting you go and bending at the knee.
You press a kiss to his scar and watch surprise blossom across his face.
"I’ll carry you home."
"Who are you and what have you don’t with my Toji?"
"You have three more seconds."
You climb onto his back, heart pounding in your chest as you wrap your arms around his neck and breathe in the scent that's so clearly him you want to get lost in it. "Will you be there when I wake up?"
He takes a few steps toward a trash can and you both throw your cups out. "You’re going to have to put me out."
You smile, face buried in the crook of his neck. "So that’s what, three days?"
"I thought you were planning something."
"Whether to come home or pick up another job."
"I’m happy you came home," you murmur, pressing kisses to his neck and shoulder. "I was really starting to miss you."
"Princess, if you wanna get laid you just have to tell me."
You laugh, the leftover alcohol in your system loving the intimacy of the moment and causing you to continue kissing at him. "Not like that," you admit. "You’ve been staying home for longer. I’m like…aren’t you an angel or something? The awe is addicting."
It’s his turn to laugh, the sound warming your chest as you feel it through your bodies. "An angel?"
"Yeah you have some sort of divinity thing, don’t you?"
"That’s…that’s not how that works."
The hesitancy in his voice causes you to smile, eyes closed as you lay on his shoulder. "Fine. I’ve been conditioned into kissing you- missing you," you correct with a laugh.
"You’re an idiot."
"I’m just kidding," you say with a sigh.
"I miss you because I love you."
He stops walking, looking over his shoulder at you. His green eyes are wide, simultaneously hungry and sated, and you tilt your chin to kiss his jawline in response to his awe. For a moment you wonder how long it’s been since he’s heard those words- if he ever has- and it makes you wish you said it sooner.
So, you say it again and again, punctuating the declarations with kisses until you reach his lips. And when you do, your eyes meet his, a smile tugging at your lips as you press a kiss to the plush of his and follow up with one to his scar. It sends a shiver through his body that you feel echoing in yours.
"I love you," you say one more time, arms and legs tightening around him reassuringly.
"You’re still drunk, huh?"
"More coffee, then."
"No, Toji. Fushiguro-"
"I’m not drunk," you tell him, fingers ghosting up the other side of his face before slipping into his hair. "I love you."
He squeezes your thighs, nose brushing your cheek as he tilts his head back to kiss the corner of your mouth with a soft hum. "Tell me that when you’re sober."
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