Leaping to Conclusions
Pairing: Liam x Riley
All characters belong to Pixelberry
Summary: The pressure to produce an heir is getting to Liam and Riley, leading them to turn to some unconventional methods.
Rating: PG, Adult Language
Word Count: 1,395
A/N: This fic is insanity guys, I'm not even going to pretend it's anything but. I learned the most absurd fun fact this week, and after sharing it with pretty much everyone I know, @ao719 convinced me that it needed to be a fic, and here we are.
For the record, this story doesn't take place in any of my timelines. My Liam and Riley can be weird, but never this weird. 😂
I am participating in @choicesflashfics, the prompt: “Wait a second. Pause and rewind … what did you just say?” will appear in bold below.
And finally, nobody has pre-read this, so apologies in advance for my horrendous grammar, and anything else about it that sucks.
Riley’s eyes fluttered open as she felt Liam’s lips trailing slowly across her shoulder. She moaned softly and arched back into him.
“Good morning, love.” He whispered huskily into her ear.
“When it starts like this it is.” She replied, reveling in the attention she was receiving from her husband.
As his hand traveled up her body, her stomach started to lurch. Her hand flew to her mouth and she leapt out of his arms and rushed to the bathroom of their guest room in the Walker ranch. Liam sat up and watched with worry as the door slammed shut.
After a few moments, Liam stood and approached the door. He could hear his wife on the other end, and he knew exactly what was going on. He rapped gently on the door. “Riley, are you alright? Can I get you anything?”
The only response he received were a few more retching noises, followed by the toilet flushing. Soon after, the door opened, and Liam met Riley’s red, blotchy eyes. “Sorry.”
Liam wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flush against him. “You don’t have to apologize, it’s not your fault.” They stood there in silence as Liam held her. “Riley, do you think you may need to take a test?”
Since the royal couple had gotten married, they’d been facing pressure to produce an heir. While they did not take their positions as monarchs lightly, for them, it was more about building a family together.
“It wouldn’t hurt.” Riley shrugged before returning to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Liam took a seat at the end of the bed to wait for her.
“Oh no!” Liam stood and rushed back to the door at Riley’s cry. She came back into the bedroom, more distraught than she had been before. “I dropped the test in the toilet.” She buried her head in her hands.
Liam chuckled slightly, as he wrapped his arm around her. He had read that pregnancy hormones could cause overreactions; he assumed, hoped, that was why she was so upset. “It’s alright, just take another one.”
“Liam, it was the last one!” She snapped.
He stepped back, shocked by her aggression. “That’s alright, we can go into town and get more.”
“Are you kidding?!” Riley threw her hands up in frustration before moving to the bed and dropping down, burying her face in the pillow. “The press has been all over us, the last thing I need is for them to get a picture of me buying pregnancy tests!”
Liam sat beside her on the bed, rubbing her back gently as he racked his brain for a solution. “I’ve got it!”
Riley rolled over and sat up, leaning against the headboard. “What?”
“We’re in Texas, surely there is a frog around here somewhere.” He said as he moved to the dresser, pulling out a pair of jeans.
“Liam, this is no time to go wildlife gazing, I might be carrying the heir!” Riley chided him.
“Love calm down, the frog will be able to tell us.” He said matter of factly as he continued to get dressed.
Her face contorted into a confused expression. “Wait a second. Pause and rewind … what did you just say?”
He sat beside her on the bed and slid on his boots. “For about twenty years, starting in the nineteen forties, before the pregnancy tests we are familiar with today, there was the Hogben test. A British zoologist, Lancelot Hogben, discovered that when urine samples from pregnant women were injected into frogs, the frog would spawn eggs within eighteen hours. It was the most rapid and reliable pregnancy test of the time.”
Riley stared at her husband in stunned silence. “How the fuck do you even know that?”
“I like history.” He shrugged.
Still befuddled by her husband’s solution, Riley took a deep breath. “So you want to inject a frog with my pee, and then in 18 hours either nothing happens and I’m not pregnant, or I am pregnant and we also have a hundred and seventy two frog eggs?”
“They’re called frogspawn, love.” He corrected.
She slapped her palm against her forehead. “Yeah, because that’s the most crucial thing in this conversation.”
“I’m sorry, force of habit,” Liam smiled sheepishly. “Would you like to try it? It’s a fascinating concept, I would be interested to see it in action.”
“Liam, I don’t even want to touch a frog, let alone do science experiments on it.”
“I’ll take care of everything,” he insisted. “I’ll just need your… well, your um… sample.”
Riley chuckled when Liam started to get flustered. “Alright, if it’ll make you happy, and all I have to do is pee in a cup, then let’s give it a try.”
Liam grinned and leaned in, planting a quick kiss on Riley’s lips. “Excellent!”
“I guess Kermit was right, it’s not easy being green.” Riley said, shaking her head.
Liam made his way to a nearby pond in search of the perfect frog. His eyes roamed the banks in search of his test subject. “If I were a frog, where would I be?”
Finally, he noticed a slight movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see a frog seated on a nearby rock. “Perfect.” He stalked toward his prey, making sure to stay as quiet as possible.
Liam was so laser focused that he didn’t notice Drake coming up behind him, curiously observing the actions of his best friend. “Li, what the fuck are you doing?”
Drake’s words startled Liam and before he had time to catch himself, he tumbled over into the pond as the frog lept away. Drake cackled as the King of Cordonia sat waist deep in the pond glaring at him.
“Sorry,” Drake apologized as he reached down, helping Liam out of the water. “But seriously, what are you doing?”
“Riley might be pregnant,” he answered.
Drake furrowed his brow, even more confused now that he had the explanation. “Okay, so you decided to go frog hunting to celebrate?”
“No, we lost the test,” he responded. When Drake continued to stare at him with a blank expression, Liam sighed and explained the Hogben test just as he had done for Riley earlier.
“And Brooks agreed to go along with this?” Drake chuckled.
“We would do anything for eachother.”
Drake rolled his eyes and moved toward the pond. A few moments later he returned with a frog.
“How did you do that?” Liam marveled.
“You had your training growing up, I had mine.” He shrugged in reply.
Liam took the frog from Drake, thanking him for his efforts and began walking back to the house.
“I’ve gotta see this.” Drake said to himself as he followed Liam.
Liam entered the house heading toward the stairs, until he saw Riley sitting with Madeleine on the living room couch. When he stepped up to them, he noticed the crestfallen expression on his wife’s face.
“Love, what’s wrong?”
“I’m not pregnant,” she responded, her eyes trained on the floor.
“But how do you know? I’ve got the frog right here.” He held it up to show her.
Madeleine stood from the couch, glaring in confusion and disgust at the sight in front of her. “When I was in town this morning, I bought some tests. I figured you would need them.”
“Oh Riley,” Liam moved to Riley, outstretching his arms.
“Liam,” she held a hand up to stop him from getting any closer. “You’re slimy, and wet… and holding a frog.”
“Oh, right.” Liam looked down at himself, and the frog in his hands. “I should shower. Care to join me?” He asked slyly.
“Um… maybe you should handle this one solo,” she cringed.
Liam handed the frog over to Madeleine, who grabbed it instinctively. He signaled for Riley to follow him, and they made their way up the stairs to the bedroom.
“So you’re not going to pee on a frog?” Drake called out as they exited the room.
“Ugh,” Madeleine groaned. “None of this would be happening if I were queen.” She turned to Drake, thrusting the frog in his direction. “Make yourself useful and deal with this thing.” She stormed out of the room, mumbling to herself, questioning where things went wrong for her.
Drake looked down at the frog with a grin. “God I love Texas.”
Permatag:
@3pawandme @alj4890 @busywoman @charlotteg234 @cordonia-gothqueen @cordoniaqueensworld @differenttyphoonwerewolf @emkay512 @foreverethereal123 @hopelessromanticmonie @iaminlovewithtrr @imashybish @kat-tia801 @kingliam2019 @malblk21 @mom2000aggie @neotericthemis @nestledonthaveone @queen-arabella-of-cordonia @secretaryunpaid @sincerelyella @theroyalheirshadowhunter @tessa-liam @twinkleallnight @txemrn
Liam:
@amandablink @custaroonie @jared2612
TRR:
@21-wishes @ao719 @belencha77 @burnsoslow @lovingchoices14 @the0afnan
@choicesficwriterscreations @choicesflashfics
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