#Truama recovery

[livingzomboy]

some of yall forgot, so im gonna remind you:

- Moral Purity is unattainable. This is recognized in philosophy too.

-Moral purity culture today is HEAVILY ableist

- Immoral actions can be justified

- Your personality disorder doesnt make you a "bad person" even if it makes you do "bad" things

- Moral Purists are NOT welcome in real leftist spaces

-Moral Purity is pushed even more in christianity, which should tell you all you need to know.

- You deserve love , even if moral purists label you a "bad person"

- You deserve love. Period. Full Stop.

#schizotypal #schizospec #cluster b #moral purity #morality #npd safe #aspd safe #avpd safe #personality disorder #mental health #healing #trauma disorders #truama recovery

[frogsforthefrogwar]

If your advocacy for truama/abuse survivors isn't inclusive of

Survivors who are not women

Survivors who developed hypersexuality

Survivors with personality disorders

Survivors with anger issues

Survivors with did/osdd

Survivors with substance abuse issues

Then maybe you should start making an effort to make it. I'm not asking anyone to shift focus to a topic they don't understand, but you dont have to become an expert in hypersexuality or personality disorders to not actively exclude or demonize them

#Truama recovery #ptsd recovery #did osdd #hypersexual #personality disorder #cluster b #npd #bpd #low empathy

[thelosttaco]

#healing #blog post #self healing #truama recovery #it’s okay #sun set #self care

[wilbyitjubilee]

I don't think it's wrong to surround yourself with things you love. The object of my affection recently has been stuffed animals. Of course, I'm going to be carefully considerate of the ones I get. Whenever I see one, it's almost as if I have to calculate if I would really love it. If I think I would? I'd take it home.

Sometimes I look at them surrounding me in my bed and I feel a pang of guilt. What kind of man surrounds himself in these things? Though I've come to realize one thing; I don't like an empty bed.

An empty bed reminds me of punishment. Everything you love being taken away because you didn't do something right by your father.

An empty bed reminds me of sleeping in a tent. Barely sleeping, more like. You have to stay awake at all times. Less your citizens be ambushed.

An empty bed reminds me of nights filled with dread. Where the caverns are too quiet. Where the blankets that cover you are tough and the mattress under you is stiff. Where the only thing to comfort yourself is your racing thoughts. Where it's cold, and where their whispers bounce off of the walls.

An empty bed reminds me of nights alone spent in cheap motels. The dread of knowing the little cash you own is gone but at least you have a place to sleep. Even if it smells of mildew and rot.

I really don't like an empty bed.

All this to say I'm grateful. I'm grateful I don't have to fear the things I love being taken away. I'm grateful I don't have to sleep in a tent, or in the caverns-and I am definitely grateful that I don't have to sleep in cheap motels.

I think I'm allowed to enjoy it. Just a little bit. I think I'd be a bit stuck up if I didn't. Life doesn't have to be full of those bad things anymore. Even if it still haunts you, there is healing to be done. It will be okay eventually.

So for now, I will drop myself in a big bed. With big, soft, and fuzzy blankets. With plenty of stuffed animal friends to fill my bed up and keep me company during those times where I feel alone. After everything, I almost feel entitled to that comfort. I don't think thats wrong of me. Others may disagree-and I'm okay with that.

#🦋;Jubilee's Journal #Personal piece #truama recovery #I wrote this after I woke up and started feeling really guilty about all of my stuffed animals #I was feeling bad. I felt like I was using resources that other people deserved more than me #I felt guilty. Being an adult and having these comforts #But then I realized maybe it wasn't a good mindset for me to have and I wanted to write about it #so this piece is a bit of a reflective one about my feelings and why i like stuffed animals #there are definitely more reasons than this. this is just what im feeling right now #i also wanted to write this to help me feel better and not wallow in guilt. i think writing it did make me feel better #also i only proofread it 3 times and its 4 in the morning so be nice to me

[generic-whumperz]

Oh buddy just you wait

*cue the night terrors

#whump #whumpblr #whump blog #whumpee #escaped whumpee #free whumpee #traumatized whumpee #whump aftermath #trauma recovery #recovering whumpee #cptsd recovery #tw truama #tw ptsd #tw cptsd #whump rescue #recovery whump #whump recovery #whump drabble #whump memes #emotional whump #physical whump #just whumpy tings

[lostmf]

By @desnos

#sadnees #tw depressing thoughts #depressing shit #i'm sad #tw depressing stuff #depressing life #childhood trauma #quotes #poetic #childhood #truamacore #generational truama #purity culture #childhood ptsd #living with ptsd #tw: sucidal thoughts #tw ptsd #tw selfhate #self h@rm #this is a cry for help #mentally drained #mentally fucked #ptsd recovery #complex ptsd #ptsd #tw cptsd #childhood truama #child abuse #abuse cw #tw abuse

[unhingedfemmecontent]

i genuinely still feel like its 2016 like my life took a screenshot that year and i will always be there.

#mental heath support #mental health #mental illness #positive mental attitude #disordered eating mention #self help #help #please help #send help #someone help #recovery #truama #girly stuff #girlblogger #gaslight gatekeep girlblog #this is a girlblog #girlblogging #girlblog aesthetic #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #hell is a teenage girl #this is what makes us girls #female hysteria #girlhood #femcel #female manipulator #girl interrupted #manic pixie dream girl

[redrockbutch]

Me, inventing Brand New Horrors to put my OC through: I PROMISE YOU WILL BE LOVED. YOU WILL BE SO LOVED. YOU WILL EXPERIENCE JOY YOU NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE BECAUSE PAIN IS NOT THE END OF YOUR STORY: THERE WILL ALWAYS BE LOVE.

#i have a vested interest in stories about truama recovery for totally unknown and unknowable reasons #cassidy.txt #it will not be erased. but there will always be love.

[chaosdisorganized]

Okay so make it make sense please.

If you make a blog for traumatized people, what's the sense of having a dni that makes it so a lot of traumatized people can't have access to your blog because they have perfectly healthy coping mechanisms. I can understand traumacore because it can be triggering for some people and that's fine but age regression, really? Tell me you think age regression is inherently sexual without telling me you think it's inherently sexual. I found this great blog, pro recovery, positive posts, for traumagenic system (a hard find btw a lot of those kinds of blogs are pro endo) and they have traumacore and agere in their dni. I sent them an ask about the agere then I saw further down that they also had traumacore, so I just decided I'm going to block them. Pro recovery blogs can be so anti healthy coping mechanism it makes no sense to me. Anyways that's all I guess. I'm looking for more positivity on my dash but every single positivity page hates people who talk about their trauma and vent so I already cant follow 90% of them. It's a damn shame really.

#pro recovery communities can be toxic too you know #i just want some more positive posts on my dash but they all hate me T^T #im just being a whiny crybaby of course you can have whatever you want on your dni #im just tired of being excluded from recovery posts for the simple fact that i talk about my truama and vent sometimes

[emmas-chaotic-void]

While I’m a huge advocate of trauma therapy, I’m also a huge believer in warning anyone who pursues it. Trauma therapy is brutal and retraumatizing in so many ways. It’s is harder than it is presented as, and it can often induce different levels of setbacks and feeling worse before you get better. It is so hard and emotionally/mentally draining to go through. It can and does lead to important and helpful overall healing (in most cases) but it takes so very much to get there. After 3.5 years I am still only barely reaching the point of healing past the setbacks while also healing in ways I didn’t even consider.

Trauma therapy can be so so so worthwhile, but it can also be expensive, draining, and painful in similar ways to how the original trauma was. It can be revolutionary but also devastating.

So my advice is twofold:

1) Be aware of the commitment to short term suffering in exchange for long term healing.

2) Never let anyone - especially uneducated assholes - decide how YOU heal from trauma.

#childhood truama #complex ptsd #ptsd recovery #ptsd vent

[insomanic-fanfication]

Wanting to be honest

Under this line, I'm talking about an in-depth problem I have, maybe in hopes of people feeling like they aren't alone or to remind me that I'm not alone in this struggle. Especially since I always try to find support groups or someone to talk about them with. They are FOR the Eating disorder instead of trying to help.

If you are not ready to have this conversation with yourself or are not in the right headspace for this topic, Just enjoy the Cat gif and move on with your day. This also includes my mutuals; just because you love reading my post doesn't mean you have to read this one. I will not be mad over upset if you skip this one.

I want you all to know that you are all loved and deserve a great day.

CW: Child neglect, Growing up poor, Growing up in a hoarder's home, Old America parenting, Religious abuse, Generational trauma, Eating Disorders, Child Abuse, late diagnosed Autism, C-PTSD, Depression. At this point, it's labeled as Dead Dove Do Not Eat- IRL. I despise sugarcoating things, so here is me telling my story without having my coward of a family shaming me for making them look bad. Just because some of them have changed does not magically fix the pain I suffered and still heal.

We'll take mental breaks at multiple points within this post and give you links to Emergency numbers.

The first one:

Section One: Before I was born

In a small town in Texas, USA. My Mom (age 16) was dating a man (age 18) and got pregnant due to a lack of sex education. Upon finding this out, my Mom's parents (Stepfather and Mother) forced her to have me and marry that man. So she and the child (me) wouldn't go to hell (Be the talk of the Church).

Throughout her pregnancy, the man we'll call SD (Sperm donor) locked my mother in their bedroom closet, only allowing her to eat bread and water. As well as rape and abuse her. Her parents (My grandparents) knew this was happening and did nothing because "it's not rape if you're dating or married." At some point during her pregnancy, my mother was pushed down a flight of stairs by SD.

The day I was born, I wasn't the only one. I had a stillborn twin; she was fully formed. Meaning, for a good while, I was holding hands and sharing womb space with a corpse.

Section Two: After I was born

Once I was born. My mom's parents never taught her how to raise me; instead, when something needed to be done, they grabbed me and shamed my mom for not knowing how to be a good mother. Basically, using me as their version of baby-trapping my mother to stay in contact with them. So they could have free labor to be as lazy as they pleased and have their own maid to keep their house clean.

I have no idea when these things happened, so I will mention them in this paragraph. SD sexually assaulted me while changing my diaper; Mom and he divorced, and my mom was kicked out of their apartment. Cutting to the only necessary information from up until age 12, I was being bounced around different family homes; while I lived with my grandparents, I could only really eat a few things; most of the time, they were either moldy or expired. Also, I was beaten and screamed at with a belt when I misbehaved, most days hearing them screaming and hitting each other. I also would be forced to sleep on a pissed and shit-on mattress, sometimes while it was still wet. Had to climb over piles of trash and junk that my mammaw hoarded. Along with being forced to clean the whole house by age 4. Doing the clothes and dishes, cooking, taking care of the animals, getting my grandpa ready, and waking up at 02:00 (Yes, even on school nights) to make lunches for my grandpaw.

While I lived at my Nanny's (Great Grandmaw), I did have great food and a living area. However, all I was used for by her was a grieving process; I was the replacement for her husband dying.

While living with my mom and who she was dating then (My 1st Step parent before she transitioned), she tried her best to be at least somewhat of a stable human being and mother. However, she could never afford therapy and couldn't entirely cut contact with her parents.

When she was married to my 2nd Step parent, my Step Dad, they had my living brother when I was in 2nd grade. All throughout my childhood, after that, my little brother came first, and what was left went to me.

Though during my childhood, I was constantly yelled at when I acted like a child and was called a selfish brat by many family members when my 5-year-old wanted attention. Because I didn't fucking know anything about ALS or death. I just knew my Papaw, an Airforce pilot, wasn't feeling okay. Until then, my lil brain had only seen him cry when I told him, "Welcome Home!" and honestly believed nothing could kill him.

Mental Health Break! ----

The context is done, So I will be talking about my Eating disorder and current eating problems. You can choose to click off now or continue reading when you are done with the video.

Now, the present problem I'm dealing with is trauma around food in general, but also possibly a binge eating disorder.

The cycle starts with eating a normal amount, then slowly eating less and less due to something wrong happening in the household. My mom screaming about something she couldn't find or the kitchen not being clean. Then, I start becoming replused by everything in the kitchen. Only seeing expired food. So I spent more and more time in my room. Until I realize I haven't eaten in 3 days.

I have a panic attack, thinking I will die, then eat. Then, I can't stop eating; I feel guilty if food is left on my plate because I feel like I'm being ungrateful for not eating everything. My brain refuses me to turn down the food people offer me. This will go on, until I vomit because my body can't handle everything, then I start eating again, Right after.

Then, I'll panic about becoming obese (my grandparents were), then the cycle repeats itself..

is there a happy end to this? No, the only good thing, is that we live in AZ now, and my grandparents have no way of talking to me.

#Youtube #eating disoder recovery #ed vent #truama dumping #Dead Dove Do Not Eat - IRL #Dead dove do no eat #childhood truama

[empowered-together]

Truama isn't a joke or some quirky thing to be proud of.

Do you know the kind of things that truama causes? It's awful and it hurts. Don't mess around with it because it's not a punchline. Stop faking it or making some insignificant event "truamatic."

Sexual assault? War? Abusive parents, partners or friends? Severe mental or neurological illnesses? Natural disasters? Car, plane, or other accidents?

Absolutely none of that is funny, is it? So why make the result washed out and forgotten as something real because you want to be unique and "traumatized"?

#sorry if this comes off as angry #but i am angry #this is disgusting and has to stop! #healing #recovery #truama #truamatic #truama isn't a joke #mental disorder

[thelosttaco]

Real life is scary. Uncertain. Full of turns. Seems like nothing good lasts. Going from having a vision for my life to not knowing what's going on... I've been told this is normal but is it really? Or just did I do something to not deserve happiness and stability longer than a month at a time...

#healing #self care #self healing #blog post #it’s okay #truama recovery #writing #first time adulting #student life #scary #sob story #coping #lost #uncertainty #in pieces

[isamirrorball]

no one is really ready to talk about how victims thoughts they were healing when the truth is that they just became another version of their abusers.

#abuse #healing #poetry #life #writing community #aesthetic #creative writing #literature #my poem #self love #abuse recovery #abuse survivor #parental abuse #abuse mention #childhood truama

[lostmf]

#sadnees #tw depressing thoughts #depressing shit #i'm sad #depressing life #childhood trauma #tw depressing stuff #quotes #childhood #poetic #childhood ptsd #childhood truama #child abuse #truamacore #generational truama #wound tw #tw ptsd #tw abuse #living with ptsd #ptsd recovery #ptsd vent #complex ptsd #narcissistic abuse #emotional abuse #toxic parents #writerscorner #spilled emotions #this is a cry for help #i am in pain #dissociation

[d-a-l-3-k-s]

Been reconnecting with a bunch of people from various stages of my life over the last year. Mainly it's been them somehow refinding me online and starting a conversation. The main consistent thing all of them have said is how much light, love, care and compassion I had, that I'm amongst the most inspirational people they've met that's truly left a mark on their lives. All of these messages I'm too scared to reply too due to a myriad of thoughts and feelings

I'm just gonna bullet point them all here

All through that time we knew each other I was holding in so much hurt and pain that there's no way I could have been the person you're thinking of.

The me now could never live up to that person's "legacy".

You all in someway abandoned me and that's the reason why we haven't spoken for year.

Why now, why are you all contacting me now saying this? What happened?

Whenever I've thought back on our friendship I always remembered it fondly, but now my rose tinted glasses are knocked off. All I see are people who took advantage of the kindness I radiated and used me to a certain degree.

No wonder I have a laundry list of abandonment issues.

None of them have been trans people, all of them have been ciswomen.

Thanks for the compliment, but now I realise what was happening I don't think I have the ability to reply.

Some of you were only here for the LGBT ally status, look at my quirky femboy friend "oh you couldn't tell, I know right?" I kinda flirt with them too cause it ticks this low-key lesbian experience curiosity I've got going on and I can just tell myself their still a guy so it alright.

Some of you fondled my fake tits and my albeit great ass without any consent. Just thought you had the right to grope me anywhere anytime because "it's how us girls are treated"

Nobody ever talks about how predatory cis women can be, it's all transwomen are the true predators we're just innocent women who you can easily over power. Like, erm no, strength has nothing to do with it. People can manipulate others into believing what they are doing to you as normal. I repeat, "it's how us girls are treated", saying we have an excuse to physically abuse you in public whenever we want because we feel we have the right over your body. "I'm sorry I outed you to my friend, it'll never happen again" Regardless they outed me and now I have to live with this whole fear of not knowing who knows an intimate detail about me and who doesn't. The only way to conquer that fear was outing myself to I didn't live in a constant state of paranoia all the time. The classic show you off to their parents probably for shock value leading to having to navigate a whole awkward conversation about my sexuality, gender and genitals with their parents because "they're just curious" and "have never met someone like you before" essentially saying we've never got to see a true freak like you in the wild before and now we're allowed to grill you with any questions we desire because you are entertainment for us. I'm so done with that talk, having to just justify my existence to complete strangers. Just leave us alone, let us build our own communities and just stop having a say on our rights the lot of you. It's honestly all we want and you just keep taking pieces from our bodies because we're not human to you.

Erm ooops like cis people are great, honestly. Just encase I accidentally hurt any of their feelings. Y'know how they're been such a good ally over all these years, championing my journey on from the sidelines without ever engaging over the years!

#trans #cis abuse #cis truama #cis recovery