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yandere-writer-momo · 7 months

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Yandere Baki Short Stories: Lost & Found Pt 1

Yandere Merman Jun Guevara x Princess Reader x Vampire Biscuit Oliva

……………………………………….

By the time (your name) had gotten most of the blood washed from her skirts, it was too warm to wear. The salty ocean water did little to remove the crimson stains off the once white skirts of her dress. It was hopeless to even try to remove the blood off to begin with but it helped her try to stay sane in this predicament she found herself in…

She turned her head to glance at the vast inescapable ocean she found herself surrounded by on this small island… the island he had taken her to. A bull shark merman named Jun Guevara had saved her when a wave had tipped over the ship taking her to her fiancé’s home country to be wed for the peace between their nations… a shame she never made it to him.

In a way she was thankful to the merman who had rescued her from a cold, painful death but at the same time… she wished she had died with her knights and servants since she was now trapped on this small island.

(Your name) didn’t dare enter the forest any deeper than she had to in fear of there being other fantastical creatures like Jun. she doubted they’d be as ‘friendly’ as he was.

“Meu anjo!” Speak of the devil… she turned her head to see Jun peak his head out from the sea, the merman giving her a toothy grin. His dark eyes softened when he saw her sitting on a rock. He wondered if she waited for him all day… “I’m back. I brought you some fish… are you hungry?”

Jun swam over to her in less than a second, the tan merman placed a large tuna fish in front of her with a smile. The merman then used his muscular forearms to pull his body onto the rock to sit beside her, his gray and white tail curled beside him as he leaned his upper body close to hers.

“You’ll catch a cold in those wet clothes… do you need me to find you something, querida?” Jun asked softly, his clawed fingers running over the damp fabric of her skirts. His tongue clicked in annoyance. “I hadn’t meant to ruin them… I can try to find you something-“

“It’s alright, Jun. Thank you.” (Your name) smiled at Jun, which made the merman beam brightly like the sun. His clawed fingers found themselves affectionately stroking her hair now.

“You’re so sweet, querida… I’m so happy to have saved you.” Jun brought a lock of her hair up to his lips and gave it an affectionate kiss. “I’ll do my best to be a good provider for you… I’m trying to find a way to stay on land longer so I’d be able to keep you safe.”

(Your name) did her best not to shy away from his touch. She had no idea why he was so insistent on keeping her company, but he was helpful. Perhaps Jun was lonely…

Jun ended up spending the rest of the day with her. The merman sharing tales of fighting pirates and other creatures in the sea. But then his eyes got dark when he cast a glance towards the large mountain on the island.

“Meu amor, swear to me you’ll never leave the shore where I can’t reach you.” Jun whispered softly, his hands wrapped around hers. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to help you if you end up in mister Unchained’s territory…”

“Mister Unchained?” (Your name) tilted her head. It seemed Jun knew another fantastical being on this island… and from the way the other creature sounded, they must be dangerous.

“He’s a vampire that resides in the castle on top of the mountain. He has gone mad since the death of his lover over a century ago.” Jun gave her hands a squeeze. “He hasn’t come out of that castle for years but even then… It’s best to avoid him.”

(Your name) frowned, a part of her feeling sympathy for the poor man. She could not imagine losing a lover and being along for a century… a part of her was curious on what kind of man this Mister Unchained fellow was.

Jun leaned forward and pressed his lips on her cheek. Despite him being on land for awhile, Jun’s lips were still as cold as a fish’s belly.

“I’ll figure something out for us… Just stay close to me.” Jun rested his head on her shoulder, his wavy locks tickling her soft, tender skin. “It’ll all be situated soon.”

(Your name) allows him to touch her in hopes of him not harming her in anyway, but from the way Jun was… she wondered if he saw her as his mate…

Hopefully not. She really wanted off this island.

(Your name) laid in her makeshift hut after Jun finally left, a comfortable fire burning in front of her to keep her warm. Tomorrow she’d look for more wreckage to see if she could upgrade her shelter and maybe even wear some more suitable clothes…

As her eyes fluttered shut into a deep sleep, she failed to realize the vampire bat that shifted into a man in front of her shelter. A giant, muscular man stood before her with a soft look in his eye. A large hand ran across the soft skin of her face, his brown eyes full of awe.

“Now what’s a darling thing like you doing out in a place like this… it’s not suitable for a lady at all.” The man glanced around before her carefully scooped her up into his arms like a bride. A warm smile on his face when she subconsciously snuggled into his arms. “I’ll take you back to my castle… it’s much more suitable for a princess like you…”

The man carefully carried the young woman towards his home, all while she was none the wiser…

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cloudcountry · 1 year

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flower crowns & a sunlit dream.

Genre/Tropes: MUTUAL PINING but it's REALLY heavy on Sebek's side. Unestablished relationship.

Summary: You decided to get some fresh air and relax, and Sebek decided to tag along. And by that, of course, I mean he can't say no to you.

Author's Comments: I wanted to write something nice for Sebek because a lot of people don't like him and I'm like "guys :(((( he's trying his best :((((" Also we both like reading and hate coffee which I think is really funny LMAO

~~~~~

The warmth of the sun was like instant stress relief as you stepped out into it. Breathing in the fresh air, you made a mental note to stay in the front lawn on Ramshackle a bit longer to decompress. With Grim holding onto your pant leg as he prattled on about tuna cans and the like, you made your way back to the dorm with a spring in your step.

The fence surrounding your run down building had never looked so beautiful.

Gently patting Grim on the head, you sent him off into the house to snack on his canned fish. He went happily, rushing through the doorway as his tail swished happily behind him. You were just about to go lay down in the grass and watch the clouds when you heard rapid footsteps approaching from behind you.

There was only one person they could belong to.

“Hello, Sebek.” you said, continuing your way into the grass and flowers.

“Human!” he yelled, skidding to a stop behind you as his bag thumped against his hip, “What are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Why are you running around like your ass is on fire?” you hummed, sitting down in the grass, “Why don’t you come join me and relax? We have the next two days of school off, you know.”

“I don’t have the time!” Sebek snapped, spinning on his heel to book it back down the pathway.

“Oh please, I’m sure you do. What else could you possibly be doing right now?” you sighed glancing around at the meadow of flowers before you.

You were all too familiar with Sebek’s eccentricities and how to slowly put a stop to them.

“Oooh, dandelions! Hmm...I think they would suit you.” you gasped, gently plucking them from the dirt.

“What? Flowers?” he turned back towards you, eyes narrowing as the weird weaving you were doing with the freshly picked dandelions.

“Yeah. C’mere.” you patted the spot on the ground next to you.

“But-!” Sebek flushed as you narrowed your eyes at him, patting the spot next to you more.

He pursed his lips and sat down ungracefully on the rustling grass, unable to stop himself from glancing around awkwardly. He wasn’t sure what to do in this situation, or even what to do around you. You were so confusing to him, especially when you acted like this. He watched you as you hummed a soft tune, weaving the flowers into a circular shape. Sebek felt his heart seize in his chest, a reminder that the way he felt about you was never to be revealed. It didn’t matter how nice you were to him even though he screamed at you to go away, you’d always make him feel weird in the best way possible.

Shuffling around next to you, he rested his chin on his hands. There was no use trying to fight you off when you wanted him around. He’d learn a while ago that he was a little too weak for you.

“Here!” you held up the crown of flowers, setting it on his head, “I knew it. Dandelions suit you.”

He felt his face explode with warmth as you smiled at him, the light wind rustling your hair in a way that made it impossible for him to look away.

“Wh- I- Ah-” he cursed himself for not being able to speak, but you seemed to think reducing him to an embarrassed mess was funny, “If you’ll excuse me! I have a book to get to-!”

“Ooooh, what are you reading this time?” you asked, scooting closer to him.

Too close!

He jolted back, coughing sheepishly into his fist. You didn’t seem weirded out, only smug. How rude!

“It’s about a witch and a princess.” he grumbled, ignoring the happy twinge in his chest when you asked. Nobody really cared to ask what he was reading except for you.

“And?” you beamed. Rather cutely, might he add.

Curse you, human!

“The princess and the witch work together to rid the kingdom of the corrupt government running in it the princess’s absence! They tried to kill her years ago but failed, and the witch and her go on this huge adventure where they get into a lot of trouble and....” he froze, realizing how animated he’d gotten with you watching him like he deserved to be listened to like that.

You nodded slowly, a nonverbal request for him to keep talking. Sebek looked away, brow furrowing.

“Human! I won’t spoil it for you! Read it yourself.” he produced it from his bag, shoving it into your arms.

“Won’t you read it to me?” you asked, holding it like it was a precious treasure, “You were looking for someplace to read in peace, right? You can just pretend I’m not here.”

“But...But I’d have to start from the beginning!” he protested.

“Isn’t that better than just giving it to me, though? It looks like you’re almost done, but if you read it to me you could just mark that spot too and take it back to your dorm with you!” you argued.

He huffed, snatching the book back. You laughed, scooting closer once again.

“Checkmate.” you teased.

“Quiet! You want me to read to you, don’t you?” he hissed, opening up the book.

The first few sentences were a pain to get through, since he could feel you staring at him. The longer he kept at it though, the less it bothered him. You were just a little human, after all. There was no reason to be so nervous! Yeah! He could totally do this-

A warm pressure on his thigh made him jump out of his skin, eyes wide as he looked down at you.

While he was reading, you’d made yourself comfortable against his thigh, pretty eyes staring up at him as you waited for him to continue.

“Is this okay?” you asked, and all he could look at were your lips.

“Fine! It’s fine! Just don’t bother me again, human!” he yelled, face aflame once again.

He tried to hide his blush with the book, but it was in vain. He knew you could still see the way his ears burned red and the way his hands shook, and he knew you’d stay by his side and poke fun at him whenever you possibly could to see him flustered all over again.

But maybe, just maybe, he didn’t mind you all that much.

#auburn's fics <3 #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #disney twst x reader #twst x reader #sebek zigvolt fluff #sebek x reader #sebek fluff #sebek zigvolt x reader

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reareaotaku · 6 months

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You're an Idiot

Summary: Eddie realizes he's inlove with an idiot Pairings: Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Tw: Slight Angst, Slight Jealousy

He doesn't know when he came to the conclusion that you were an idiot, but it must have been all the little things adding up. The first incident was a few months ago.

----

The group was at a party, buying stuff to celebrate New Years. You, Eddie, and Richie were looking at party hats and noisemakers. The last thing the party needed was noisemakers, which is what Eddie and Richie were arguing about.

"I don't want to have my fucking eardrums blown out by those stupid things," Eddie says, taking the noise makers out of your hands.

"Oh, you're such a wet fucking blanket, Eddie," Richie rolls his eyes, snatching the noisemakers back and giving them to you.

"You guys New Years Revolution should be to stop arguing with each other," You offhandly remark, causing them both to stop and stare at you.

"Revolution? Do you mean RESolution?" Richie mocks you, causing you to blush. "God, that's so funny. You're such a stupid bitch."

"Leave her alone, you asshole."

"Aww, does this princess need her knight in shinning armor to save her?" He makes a clicking noise as he taunts you both.

Eddie grabs your hand, dragging you off, leaving Richie there to make a fool of himself.

---

Eddie hadn't thought about it much, but then another incident happened less than a week later.

You had been holding a can of Tuna by Chicken of the Sea and you turned to him and said-

"Is this chicken or fish? I know it says Tuna, but it says..... it says Chicken of the Sea?"

In that moment he had questioned every life decision he made. He thought maybe he had misheard you, so he asked you to repeat yourself. Though, you just repeated yourself, making him lightly sigh.

The final straw, when he really had to accept you were the stupidest person on earth.

He was at your house, just the two of you and you wanted a burrito. You put it in the microwave and he watched when you took it out, threw it away and grabbed another burrito.

"Why did you throw it away?"

"It wouldn't heat up."

You had said it like HE was being stupid. His jaw was nearly on the floor. When he finally gathers himself, he decides to question what the hell that meant.

"What do you mean?"

"It was still cold."

"Why didn't you heat it longer?"

"I heated it for the time on the package and it was still cold."

You were so simpleminded and he was actually impressed. He respected you, but not in the way as one respects someone. He just respected you lived this long being so stupid. He couldn't go another day without saying something.

"You're so dumb."

You turned towards him, confused, "What?"

"I love you, like a lot. But, god you are so stupid."

"That is so rude." You were looking at him wide-eyed, as he covered his mouth, trying not to laugh.

"You're so dumb, though. Like don't get me wrong, I DO love you, but come on."

You frowned and didn't speak to him for a solid week.

Fast foward to now, you were sitting across for each other at a cafe. Neither of you were talking, but he was looking at you, wanting to talk to you.

"So..."

You looked up at him, glaring. He could sense your anger and he leaned in, reaching for your hands.

"You know I love you-"

"Oh really? I thought I was an idiot."

"You are-" When he saw your glare sharpen his eyes widened and he coughed into his hand. "I mean.... Sometimes, your light isn't as bright as it could be."

"You're just calling me stupid in a metaphorical way."

"That's not true." He tried to justify, and your head dipped, your face going blank.

"Oh, don't patronize me."

There's a moment of silence as he watches you, trying to think of what he's supposed to say. Finally, he speaks-

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Richie's called me worse."

"Well, you and Richie aren't dating and he's just an asshole."

"Thank god," You joke, lightening the mood, "Imagine if we were though." You close your eyes, thinking about it. Though, with your eyes closed, you couldn't see Eddie's glare.

"You like Richie?" He accused, causing you to quickly open your eyes.

"What? No- God, no." You repeatedly shake your head, "I'm just saying, imagine. God, that'd be terrible," You laugh and Eddie finally lightens up.

"Nightmare fuel," He jokes, "I'm sure I'd be mad if you were dating."

"Oh yeah?" You lean on your hand, smirking. "Why would you be mad?"

His eyes follow you, a light smile growing on his face, "I'd be jealous, because that idiot would be dating the most incredible, amazing, pretty-"

"Oh, flattery? You're really trying to win brownie points."

"Is it working?"

"Well, it sure isn't hurting you."

"Then I won't stop."

#yandere eddie kaspbrak x reader #yandere eddie x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #yandere eddie #eddie kaspbrak #it #yandere it x reader #it chapter 1 #it x reader #yandere it #slasher #horror #yandere slasher #yandere slasher x reader #slasher x reader #yandere horror

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celestiall0tus · 2 months

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Tales of Bloody Bug and Chat Noir - Chapter 8 - Princess Fragrance

Beginning || Previous || Next

Adrien sat in science class with a handful of classmates from his homeroom. He occasionally glanced beside him where Luka Couffaine, Juleka’s twin brother, sat. He often tried to strike up conversation with Luka, but between Ms. Mendeleiev and Luka’s quiet self, it wasn’t easy. He wished Luka was in homeroom with him. Perhaps he could attempt to talk with him more. Then he could have another school friend like Nino.

“Thank you, Rose, but I don’t think our classroom needs extra refreshing,” Ms. Mendeleiev said.

Adrien snapped from his thoughts. He turned to the back Rose stared up at Ms. Mendeleiev with a deer-in-headlights look. Ms. Mendeleiev headed towards Rose.

Chloe grinned and turned to Sabrina. “I thought someone packed a tuna fish sandwich but turns out it was just Rose’s perfume.”

Adrien frowned at Chloe’s remark. He ignored it and looked back as Rose handed Ms. Mendeleiev her perfume.

“Furthermore, using your phone during school hours is strictly forbidden.”

Rose sighed. She took out her ear bud, grabbed her phone, and handed it to Ms. Mendeleiev.

“Now, take the rest of your things and go to the principal’s office.”

Rose gasped and whimpered. She grabbed her bag and headed out of the classroom.

Ms. Mendeleiev returned her desk. “Watch what happens when you play about with flammable substances in a chemistry lab.”

Ms. Mendeleiev spritzed the perfumed into a glass container. She covered a burner with it and pressed a red button. Everyone gasped at the explosion caused by the perfume.

“Just to make sure you all remember that. I will be quizzing you tomorrow on lab safety … again.”

The bell rang to signal the end of the hour. Everyone grabbed their things and headed out. Adrien turned to Luka to talk, but Luka was already gone. He sighed and headed out, eyeing the girl group as they lingered nearby. His eye caught Juleka as he considered asking her for advice. Was it right? It seemed wrong to ask someone else, but what else could he do? Surely there was no harm in this one time, right?

Adrien approached Juleka. “Hey, Juleka? Could I ask you something?”

Juleka turned and stared at Adrien.

“Uh, right. Um, so, I wanted to ask you about Luka, if that’s ok?”

“Why?”

“I just want to be friends with him like I am with Nino, but he doesn’t talk to me. Is there something I could do to get him to, I dunno, open up?”

Juleka grimaced. “I don’t know. You’re nice, Adrien, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you and Luka to be friends.”

“What? Why?”

“He’s not exactly, well, comfortable with people. You know?”

“Uh, no.”

“Well, regardless, you should just give up. He’s not going to open up to you. Ever.”

“What? But-!”

The warning bell ran to signal they had a minute left to get to class. Juleka didn’t say another word and headed off to class. Adrien sighed and followed to the same class.

Alix walked out of class when the lunch bell rang. She hurried to the exit when she heard a tiny sneeze. She flinched at the noise and ran to the bathroom. She glanced around to ensure it was empty. She took off her backpack and opened it. Her eyes widened seeing Tikki curled up.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t feel well,” Tikki whispered.

“What? How? You can get sick?”

Tikki nodded.

“Fuck. Shit. How can I help you?”

“There is a healer. If you go to him, he can help me.”

“Do you know where he is?”

Tikki nodded.

“Good. Hang in there, Tikki. I’ll get you to the healer immediately.”

Alix flung her backpack back on her and ran out. She stopped at the bottom of the steps to see Rose talking with Chloe. She tilted her head as Chloe held up a pink envelope and shredded it.

“Hey!” Alix yelled.

Chloe jumped. She scrambled into the limo behind her as Sabrina closed the door. The limo drove off by the time Alix reached the road. Alix swore and turned to Rose.

“What’d that bitch do?” Alix demanded.

“She… destroyed my… letter… for Prince Ali,” Rose whimpered.

“Chloe had-,” Sabrina started.

“You were able to dodge me last time, but at this close range, do you want to bet you can again?” Alix hissed.

Sabrina stiffened. She raised her hands in front of her and ran off.

Alix snorted and knelt beside Rose. “Hey, it’ll be ok. You can write a new letter.”

Rose shook her head. “What’s the point? With Chloe there, I’ll never get close to Prince Ali.”

“Rose, you forget who you’re talking to. It’s me. I’ll set her straight. Meanwhile, you go and write a new letter. Ok?”

Rose sighed and looked away. She gathered the scraps of her first letter and left.

Alix grimaced. She slowly stood as she kept her eyes on Rose. She took out an earbud and took off down the street.

“Tikki, directions, now. Let’s get you help and then I have a brat to do with.”

“Alix, you can’t. If you-.”

“Tikki, I don’t want to see Rose akumatized. She’s an annoying creature, but she didn’t deserve that. And you should have seen the look on her face. She was devastated. She’ll be a target for sure.”

A long pause. “Ok, but not as Bug.”

“You have my word. Directions?”

Tikki phased through the bag and wormed into Alix’s cap. Alix turned and adjusted it to give Tikki a peephole as she dashed through the busy foot traffic. They arrived at a small shop for Chinese massage. She headed inside through the building to a room with an open door. She stepped inside to see an old man drinking tea. Her eyes widened as she recognized him.

“You. You’re that old man that I saved from getting hit by a car,” Alix said.

“Uh, are you sure? I don’t recall-.”

“Cut the crap, old man. You can’t fool me. You’re wearing the same clothes as you were that day and I don’t see anyone your age wearing those awful clothes.”

“I’m afraid you still have me mistaken, young lady.”

Alix snarled. She ripped off her cap and held out Tikki. She noticed a hint of surprise and recognition seeing Tikki before he masked it.

“I got you. You know who she is. What she is. You are also the one that can help her.”

The man sighed. “Very well, young lady. Put Tikki down on the mat.”

Alix placed Tikki down. She sat nearby while she watched the man work. She shifted her gaze from him to Tikki. Fear worked its way up her as the seconds crawled by and the initial rush wore off. Her eyes darted between the old man and Tikki as he did his work.

“How much longer?” Alix asked with a cracked voice.

“‘One who is burning with impatience can never eat hot porridge.”

“Cut the crap. How. Much. Longer?” Alix demanded.

“Silence, please.”

Alix growled and crossed her arms. She tapped her finger on her arm as the old man sat in front of Tikki with his hands over her. A few moments passed before she spoke.

“Who are you?” Alix asked.

“Just an old man.”

“No, you’re not. There’s more to you. No amount of gaslighting will convince me otherwise.”

“You will learn another time, but not now.”

“And why not? What are you hiding? How do you know what these kwamis are? Are you the one that gave me Tikki?”

“You must be cautious, young lady. Curiosity was the death of the cat.”

“And satisfaction brough him back. My questions may be my downfall, but knowledge is my satisfaction.”

The old man smiled. He rang his gong once and bowed his head. “We’re finished. Tikki’s health has been restored.”

Alix’s breath caught. She stared at Tikki until she opened her eyes. She gasped and scooped up Tikki.

“You’re alright. You’re alright!”

Tikki smiled and nuzzled Alix. “I’m alright.”

“Hey, old man? Thank you,” Alix said.

“You’re welcome, Alix.”

“Oh, lovely, you know my name. And just what would yours be?”

“You may call me Wang Fu.”

“Pleasure. And, you realize I’ll be back later to get my answers, right?”

Wang Fu laughed. “I’ll await that day, young Alix.”

Alix nodded and ran off. She checked her phone to see she still had enough time to confront Chloe. She headed towards Le Grand Paris, grabbing a bite on the way. She ran up to the front door that was blocked by one of the male staff members. She rolled her eyes and moved to enter, but he stopped her.

“State your business,” the man said.

“I need to see that brat, Chloe.”

“She’s currently with Prince Ali.”

Alix checked her phone for the time. She huffed and kicked the man in the crotch. He howled in agony as she ran inside. She made a dash for the stairs before anyone else could stop her. She ran up towards the restaurant floor, assuming Chloe and Ali were there. She burst into the room where reporters were interviewing Prince Ali. She scanned the crowd and spotted Chloe with him before the press.

Alix dove behind the bar and peeked over. She considered how to separate Chloe from Prince Ali when the elevator dinged. She looked over to see the glass elevator filled with pink smoke. She watched as Rose dressed in a black princess/villain suit, green skin, and long pink hair pulled in a braid like a perfume spritzer stepped out.

Alix ducked down. “I knew it, Tikki. She’s been akumatized. Dammit, why didn’t she just wait?”

“Ask her later,” Tikki pressed.

“Right. Tikki, spots on.”

Tikki disappeared into the earrings and transformed Alix into Bloody Bug. Bloody Bug took her yo-yo and held it close to her.

“Lucky Charm.”

Ladybugs swirled between her and the yo-yo to create a pair of gas masks. Bloody Bug slipped one on while she attached the other at her hip. She took a deep breath and ran in. She threw her yo-yo and snagged Rose’s arm. She pulled on it and yanked Rose closer to her.

“Bloody Bug!” Chloe cheered.

“Party’s over, Princess Perfume.”

“It’s Princess Fragrance!”

“Close enough!”

“What are you waiting for? Stop her?” Princess Fragrance roared.

The paparazzi rushed forward. Bloody Bug grinned as she pulled on her yo-yo, smacking the paparazzi with Princess Fragrance. She laughed as she swung Princess Fragrance around like a weapon to keep the paparazzi down.

Princess Fragrance screamed. She held her perfume gun up and spat out more of her perfume. Bloody Bug continued to swing her around, unaffected by the perfume, when she was grabbed. She dropped her yo-yo as she was lifted up by Andre, the mayor. She freed herself and landed on the floor, but her gas mask was ripped off by Prince Ali as Chloe stole her other one.

Bloody Bug held her breath and ran. She crashed through the window and fell. She braced for impact when Chat Noir caught her.

“I sure caught you between a rock and a hard place,” Chat Noir teased.

“Get us out of here. Now.”

Chat Noir looked up at Princess Fragrance as she peered over at them. He nodded and changed course. He landed in an isolated alleyway. He put Bloody Bug down as she scrambled to hide inside a nearby dumpster.

“I don’t think this is the time for dumpster diving,” Chat Noir remarked.

Bloody Bug ignored Chat Noir as she slipped inside. “Tikki, spots off.”

“What are you doing?”

“I used my Lucky Charm back there, but I was overwhelmed and it was stolen.”

“Oh, well, what’s the plan, Bug?”

“We need to attack with masks. If we inhale that perfume, I’m pretty sure we’ll be under Princess Fragrance’s control.”

“And where’s her Akuma?”

“At a guess, in her perfume gun thing. I’ve had this hunch for a while that the Akuma is usually in the weapon the villain uses. It’s proven right many times with a few exceptions. So, if push comes to shove, always aim for the weapon first.”

“Can do, but where would we find her.”

Alix hummed. “I have a hunch. Pont des Arts.”

“Why there?”

“Look, I’ll be frank, I know the girl that was akumatized. Total romance nut, and she wants that Prince Ali. Where else would a romantic want to go than padlock bridge?”

“Oh! You mean the one where people put love padlocks with their names on them, then throw the key in the Seine? That is so romantic.”

“Focus, Cat! I’m sure a hypnotized Prince wouldn’t appreciate the gesture as much.”

“Fair point. Alright, ready when you are, Bug.”

“Right. Tikki, spots on!”

Alix transformed back into Bloody Bug. She kicked the lid of the dumpster up and struck a heroic pose.

Chat Noir snickered. “Mighty heroic, Bug.”

“Always. Let’s go!”

Bloody Bug and Chat Noir headed for Pont des Arts. They landed on a nearby building overlooking the bridge. He took out his staff and clicked the pawprint button. A screen popped up and zoomed in on the bridge. She looked over to see Princess Fragrance holding a padlock that emitted perfume.

“How about that. We have the element of surprise on them. What do you think?” Chat Noir asked.

Bloody Bug hummed. “I can make us gas masks again so we can get close to her. Just don’t get surrounded by her minions. We may be stronger, but strength of many triumphs tyrants.”

“Well, what if we destroy the bridge? That will keep her minions at bay so we can focus only on her.”

“I like the way you think. Alright, let’s do this. Lucky Charm.”

Ladybugs swirled and created another pair of gas masks. Bloody Bug put one on while Chat Noir took the other.

“How do we want to do this? Distraction or surprise?”

“Surprise. I’d rather not risk her catching on. Besides, I’m slippery.”

“Prove it.”

Chat Noir grinned. He slipped off the building and snuck his way under the bridge. Bloody Bug watched with the assistance of her yo-yo as he made it under Princess Fragrance and her group. She adjusted and readied her yo-yo as the bridge turned black and crumbled. She threw her yo-yo and caught Princess Fragrance’s arm. She pulled and sent Princess Fragrance flying, separating her from the others.

“We meet again, your Highness,” Bloody Bug remarked.

“Not you again! Why are you getting in the way of my happiness? The Prince belongs to me.”

“No one belongs to anyone!” Chat Noir roared.

Bloody Bug looked up as Chat Noir pounced and pinned down Princess Fragrance. He restrained her arm with the perfume gun and broke it with his staff. She cried out as the Akuma flew up. Bloody Bug caught and purified it, reverting Princess Fragrance to Rose. Bloody Bug took her gas mask and Chat Noir’s and threw them up.

“Miraculous!”

Ladybugs burst from them. They repaired the bridge and everyone placed back on it that were in the Seine. The effects of Princess Fragrance’s perfume vanished from them.

“What happened? Where am I?” Rose asked.

“You were akumatized. Had an eye for the prince?” Bloody Bug asked.

Rose looked away. “I did. I really admire him and his work. I just wanted to tell him that, but Chloe wouldn’t give me the chance.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s yours,” Chat Noir cut in.

“What? I’d never think that! Did I say that?” Rose asked.

Bloody Bug placed a hand on Chat Noir’s shoulder. “You did, but it’s becoming clear to me that these Akumas bring forth our darkest desires. Even if you yourself wouldn’t think that, a part of you seems to. Stoneheart and Mylene, Lady WiFi and Chloe and me, Stormy Weather and Mireille, even Mr. Pigeon and pigeons.”

Chat Noir snorted. “His one true love.”

“You certainly aren’t wrong. Point is, be careful to not let your darkest desires become you. In the end, you may… regret the actions you’ve done. And it… it may seem easier to ignore them, but they’re there and everyone else won’t ever forget. So, be careful with them and don’t let them consume you. Understand?” Bloody Bug asked.

Rose nodded.

“Good, now let’s-,” Bloody Bug started.

“Hey, are you ok? You seemed-,” Chat Noir interrupted.

“I speak from experience. Nothing more.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Bloody Bug considered. “Tell you want, Christmas holiday, let’s meet and we’ll get the answers we want then. I should be ready by then.”

“Very well, I’ll wait until then.”

“Thank you.”

Bloody Bug and Chat Noir shared a smile before Bloody Bug scooped up Rose. They went down to the bridge where Prince Ali and the others remained. Bloody Bug put Rose down before they headed off.

“Bloody Bug! Wait!” Chloe cried.

Bloody Bug paused atop a streetlight. She turned back, smiled, and winked at Chloe. She waved and ran off. She ducked into an alleyway before she transformed back. She caught Tikki and offered a cookie.

“You ok? Are you feeling alright?” Alix asked.

Tikki nodded. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Are you sure? You won’t get sick again, right? You won’t… you won’t leave me, will you?”

Tikki’s eyes widened. “Oh. Don’t worry, I’m fine. I’ll be right here, I promise.”

A tear fell from Alix’s eye as she cuddled Tikki. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you.”

Alix and Tikki stood a few moments longer before Tikki flew into the backpack.

“Tikki?”

“Lunch is over, Alix. Time to head back to school.”

“Do I have to?”

Tikki phased her head through the bag and shot Alix an angry, disappointed mom scowl. Alix blinked, then laughed.

“Alright, alright. I’m going.”

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n1ghtm4r3-p01s0n · 1 year

Text

What Video Games I think Jigsaw and the Apprentices would play

Adam - Grand Theft Auto series. He regularly plays GTA Online with Amanda (he is better skilled at driving and Amanda is more skilled at shooting). Sometimes he convinces Lawrence to join. Adam switches between Michael and Franklin when in story mode the most. Adam likes using mods, ReShade and taking far too many screenshots.

Lawrence - Animal Crossing: New Horizons. After a tough day at work and knowing what John does, I doubt Lawrence is big into violent video games. Even then, video games aren't his thing. He only picked up AC:NH cause he likes the cozy vibes. Sometimes, when Diana misses him, he visits her island and they hang out together.

Amanda - DOOM Eternal and the Hitman series. This is the reason she's a sharp shooter in GTA. She loves DOOM and Hitman cause you get to shoot up bad guys to awesome music while bettering the world. Also, she loves doing wacky challenges with the Hitman games (kill everyone while wearing a clown suit also her only weapon is a giant tuna fish).

Lynn - Nintendogs and Cats for the 3DS. She got it originally for Corbette but became infatuated with it herself. It's part of the reason she really wants to get a pet. She got Amanda a 3DS and forced her to make a Mii so that when Lynn takes her virtual pet for a walk she sometimes stumbles into Amanda.

Peter - Hitman series, Metal Gear series and Detective Grimoire series. Peter has always loved media about detectives and stealth and shit. Where Amanda is silly with Hitman, Peter is dead serious. Metal Gear was the series he played as a kid, and Detective Grimoire was just a random flash game he found one day and became shocked to learn it had its own series of video games.

Mark - Party Hard, Dead by Daylight, GTA 5 and Outlast. Mark likes games where he plays as a killer, much to everyone else's concern. He plays mainly as Trevor in GTA 5. He mains Leatherface in Dead by Daylight. He mains them both cause they are both "berserk psychos with crazy weapons".

John - Pokemon, Animal Crossing: New Horizons and The Sims. John doesn't like violent video games. Period. In Pokemon, he usually sticks to Pokemon that look like cats and dogs. His favourite AC villager is Sprinkles, and he cries whenever one of his Sims dies.

Jill - Like Lawrence, she's not a big video game person. However, Corbette and Diana have both convinced her to play games with them. As their adoptive grandma, she obliges. She prefers stuff like Wii Sports, Wii Fit and Wii Sports Resort. Just cause it's nice, chill and casual.

BONUS: THE KIDS

Diana - Love Nikki, Animal Crossing: New Horizons and Untitled Goose Game. She likes being creative and causing chaos. Her favourite AC villager is Sable. She loves dressing Nikki up into fantasy princesses (but has also done like rockstar criminals). She likes Untitled Goose Game cause "look at the silly goose".

Corbette - Star Stable, Littlest Pet Shop (DS), Zoo Tycoon, Planet Zoo, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Pokemon etc. She really loves animals. Ever since her brother's death, she collects plushies and it was what spawned her love of animals and creatures. She has also played Nintendogs and Cats (3DS) and Breath of the Wild.

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tadpal · 4 months

Note

if you were a mermaid... what kind of tail would you have?? (species, colour, vibe, etc)

this is such a contentious question for girls who grew up on a beach so i do have several answers prepared bc obviously it was needed at the time ESPECIALLY since 2000s mermaid trend was ON TREND anyway

all that to say when i was a kid i would pretend to be a dolphin girl. yeah fr. i had several glass figures and when i was learning to surf i got a board with a dolphin on but this was all a ruse to impress the girls in my surf class. although i have seen dolphins often in the cove and off the rocky beach and i did and do think they're incredible honestly i preferred to watch for blue whales and thought dolphin mermaids weren't very cool. dolphins are cool companions for mermaids but i was kind of a mermaid purist: mermaids should be fish with obvious scales. but for the dolphin girls all the boys in their games would be sharks and i hated sharks as i was deadly afraid of tiger sharks which in fairness, did swim up the river to breed every year and attacks did happen but. yeah i thought the shark boys were also lame. so when trying to fit in with this lot i made the decision to be an orca mermaid who had lost its pod and was trying to live with the dolphins. the dolphin girls hated this until they realised that they could do a storyline in which i never move past my evil orca hunger and end up killing and eating several girls in a bloodlust that would then fade and i weep over their bodies. in real life this looked like a game of tag with biting and theatrics.

so that was probably my first mermaidsona and it was definitely a poser moment for however it was not the only poser sona i had. outside of my swim+surf classes i had friends who were also mermaid girls but who weren't sporty or into The Ocean like the dolphin girls tended to be. they thought the dolphin girls were weird and wanted to be Mermaids like you would see in Barbie mermaidtopia, but with them, the personas tended to be less in depth. my tail was aquamarine or blue, with white fins, and i can swim really fast and crest the waves without being easily seen. i was not usually a royal but sometimes i was a middle sister if we were all princesses. often i was was the boy or prince merman. my best friends were a school of flying fish and a sperm whale. i was really good at hiding (bc of the wave thing) and my romance plot was often the princess noticing the weird hiding prince when no one else would and i show them all the magic of the seas etc. if we were playing mermaids who were are landpeople, my land job would be guy who cleans/owns an oceanfront hotel/bnb and sneaks out to water at night when hes not working. while this was More Me than the dolphin girl persona, it didnt really feel like me either, i disliked the vagueness and how none of them cared about the ocean only using it as a setting with no curiosity for it. (alas ive always been a bit of a snob)

my TRUE MERMAID SELF was this: yellowfin tuna

idk why i just felt a lot of kinship with them. at the time i was so scared of sharks and seals and everything really. just a very fearful child and i remember really longing for that school (of fish) mentality of just moving as one and that keeping them safe. i also knew that i had to be a migratory species bc we moved so constantly and i needed a fish that never really had a home. the yellowfins would come yearly to the coast i lived on and that was important to me. mostly i felt like they had a desperation to the way they move I remember seeing one in the bottom of a boat and it just fighting for its life choking to death and thinking oh hell yeah me too brother. i loved their reputation for tourists coming to fish them and then snapping their shitty lines. I loved their sleek cool bodies and their sick long fins (cooler and longer than all the other tuna). i liked that they were fast as hell and Big. i liked how they tasted fresh! i was so convinced that i was Destined to be a tuna mermaid but god. that was so lame to both my groups of mermaid friends. i drew it once i think and petitioned my Barbie Mermaid friends to be a flying fish mermaid, which was the better design i think but had less soul... ack well. being a kid a weird

#ask tad #anon #tad talks

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arpmemething2 · 1 year

Text

Victorious starters

Send one for my muse’s reaction... Feel free to change pronouns as needed.

"I like waffles."

"Are you done with your little sabotage game?"

"Is it eating tuna fish on a ferris wheel? ...Cause I did that once, and I threw up on a bird."

"You were invading my privacy!"

"This is a car. The car...of the future!"

"I thought he was homeless."

"You have a pimple under your arm."

"Please go take a shower."

"I was choking on a pretzel!"

"Hey, waddup, girl? You got a numb tongue?"

"So what do you want with us?"

"I just made 2 little girls scream and run away with their cookies."

"I'm gonna grab him and wrestle him to the ground."

"Oh, great, so she gets an A- and I get a broken eye and a black nose"

"DO NOT LICK THE BALLOONS!!!"

"That's not my only plan... Someday I'd like to plant a vegetable garden"

"Yep, I've got the talent and she's got the strong teeth. You know, she's never had one cavity."

"Is that mac and cheese?"

"I get nervous when my brother eats things that aren't food. ...Seriously, I think he ate my charm bracelet."

"I'm a tutor, and I don't like to talk about things I do at my house!"

"You were with another puppet."

"I've been telling you people she's stupid, but did anyone believe me?"

"She's not supposed to be laughing on the bunny!"

"Is there some reason your brother replaced his seat belt with a rope?"

"I've got a gun!"

"Ok, I believe you! Don't hit me!"

"I squirted hot cheese all over my friend and her current boyfriend, who was my ex-boyfriend, and then I kissed him right in front of her, which I felt really bad about. But then it was okay, 'cause she punched me right in the face."

"You pay extra for the sushi and you pay the extra money."

"Well, you're dressed in sad colors, and you were playing a sad song... oh, and you're wearing a button that says, "I'm sad, ask me why.""

"She threw a rock at me."

"I don't think you can, I'm pretty scrappy."

"Tell your puppet to quit being mean to me!"

"Fish pee, you are drinking fish pee."

"We can only blame the earth."

"Aw, you want me to tickle your tummy?"

"I'll give you this dollar to get to the point."

"That is some juicy coughing and hacking."

"Its going to be the first time she's left the house in six years."

"WILL YOU KILL THE DISCO?!!"

"Hey. Look at the new costume I made. Can you guess who I am?"

"I don't want to be doinked, I'm not ready!"

"Is it a transporter from the future that can beam you to another table, because if it is, what button do I push?"

"Shut up! I'm opening a Christmas Present!"

"I AM A POLICE OFFICER!"

"I have a MUSTACHE...and I think I like it."

"Look at my tounge It's massive!"

"I can't handle being trapped like this. We're like animals!"

"We're blondes! Wooo! We're like princesses!"

"I bet SHE'S been stung by a bee."

"How do you know so much about animal hospitals?"

"Haven't you ever wondered what it's like to be a blonde?"

"Free hugs! I want to give free hugs!"

"Aw it's okay. I read on the Internet that coffee works great for getting rid of fur bugs."

"Normal's boring."

"Oh, no, now I'll never win the prison beauty pageant!"

"I don't talk like that!"

"If you don't take your hands off me in two seconds, you won't have hands."

"BUTTERNUT! BUTTERNUT!"

"For so many years I prayed every night to be hotter. (pauses) ...THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT!!!"

"You don't have to be afraid to put your dreams in action!"

" Look! It's a little...ceramic guitar. I made it at Color me Pot."

"An escaped prisoner crashed through our window and was dragged out by Yerbian soldiers!"

"Who put my dog in a wedding dress?"

"Can I have my trombone back?"

"I thought caffeine makes you vibrate."

"Don't make that face."

"This Hambone battle is really scary."

"I admire how you're never afraid to say what you think."

"Oh, it's you two. I thought I smelled failure."

"You're all suspects."

"Why did you make them leave?"

"Nice piano."

"I'M FREE! I'M FREE!"

"Your mobile phone is once again mobile."

"Try not to talk."

"I use an appropriate amount of ketchup!"

"I don't wanna be gotten!"

"This is kidnapping!"

"SILENCE! I'll get you, my pretty and your little fish, too!"

"How come everyone's being all weird?"

"I spy a fly, with my little thigh!"

"Okay, I can picture me, sitting on a pony, wearing a bright purple hat. I-I was wearing the purple hat, not-not the pony. Do they even make pony hats? Anyway, I was looking fabu!"

"My hair color has nothing to do with my psychological problems!"

"Your daddy know how to shoot a bow and arrow with his foot?"

"Look, I just wanna say you guys make me sick."

"Sweating is gross, so I don't do it."

"I tell you, nothing warms my cockles more than lookin' at this magical pile of baby here!"

"You wanna see a kidnapper?! KIDNAPPER! Let go!"

"NO ONE can kill disco!"

"Oh, come on, for his ten year teaching anniversary you guys don't think he deserves a better present than a one cup coffe maker?"

"Aw, don't be sad, little one. I think your head looks great like that."

"She chewed through our leash!"

"I wanna live! There's things I've never tried! There's things I really, really, really wanna do!"

"You wanna get slapped with a sausage?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, were we all supposed to dress stupid today?"

"She can't get her boobs in the hamburger."

Just drag the body out by the dumpster and don't say nothing to nobody!

"Eat your pants!"

"I was just walking around and I saw this kite stuck in a bush and, and it's broken and someone needs to fix it!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!?!"

"No, this is my mean sister and her rude friend."

"You know, why don't I just lie on the floor so you can start kicking me?"

"Do you have any aspirin?"

"Oh my god! Underwear that floats!"

"I have a science project due tomorrow. I have to turn in my mold bush."

"I have a mole on my bum shaped as a fish."

"NO! YOUR MOTHER GAVE BIRTH TO THE WRONG THING!!"

"Ok. I'll keep your dirty secret."

"She saw a Rabbi in a bikini eating pancakes"

" So, you just happened to have that wig here in your house?"

"Under "special skills" I put gymnastics and karate, and that made them think I could do stunts."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?!"

"Are those real cheekbones?"

"Why are you rubbing my boyfriend?"

"This one time I ate a hamburger and an hour later I started sneezing but i don't think it had anything to do with the hamburger."

32 notes · View notes

ganonfan1995 · 1 year

Text

I've thought it through, and I'm not really sure when I'm going to pick NHFOM back up.

I really wanted to see it through, but if I'm being honest, it was a project I started during a point in time where I was feeling 100% myself (both mentally and artistically) 2022 really slonked my shit stupid style, and recovering from all the trauma and misery has been a long loooong journey for me. Trying to revisit it now, while I still love the characters and the AU I built up around it, has been really complicated for me. On one hand I still think the material holds up, but on the other hand I've really lost a lot of the jokes and I've been struggling to connect with them. (maybe it's the depression, maybe its maybelline)

While I've been doing a lot better in this year, 2023, the further I move away from NHFOM the more I feel a bit alienated from it? I'm not sure how to describe it, it feels more like an obligation rather than something I'm excited to do.

That's all to say, is that I'm going to post the outline I had written back in 2021 for the first chapter of NHFOM. I might still pick this back up, but it feels weird to let it just rot in my google docs, unread and unloved. So if you're curious as to what Link and Ganondorf get up to, it'll all be under the cut. NOTE: The way I write comic outlines is VERY bare bones. These are mostly quick ideas and lack any sort of dialogue/structure outside of general pacing and ideas.

NO HYRULE FOR OLD MEN

Aryll’s Birthday:

Link convinces Ganondorf to allow him to send a letter to Aryll for her birthday.

The Soup:

Link tries to recreate his Grandma’s soup, destroying Ganondorf's kitchen in the process.

Heroes Clothes:

Ganondorf convinces Link to dress in Time’s clothes. They do not even remotely fit.

Link of the Past:

Ganondorf and Link drinking and reminiscing over OOT events, Link is trying to play along.

Thank god they’re both trashed.

The Bandana:

Ganondorf reprimands Link for being so careless about his appearance and asks him to get a haircut.

It’s revealed that Link has MPB and Ganondorf shares a culturally significant hairstyle w/ him in solidarity.

Miniblin:

Link befriends a Miniblin? I don’t have a joke for this one, it’s just cute.

Ganondorf’s Day Out:

Link discovers the portal Ganon uses to teleport between worlds, he follows him in disguise and learns about his “secret hideout”

Therapy:

Ganondorf is having his monthly therapy session with a bokoblin, distressing over Link and contemplating why he’s different now.

Link is fishing naked w/ Miniblin

Helmaroc King:

Aryll discovers that Helmaroc King loves fish and forms a bond with the giant bird. She breaks a deal to send letters to Link once in a while in exchange for a tuna.

The Boat:

Link notices a weird red boat with a face hanging out around the tower. He and miniblin decide to take it for a joyride.

Hero in Training:

Sick of his devil-may-care personality, Ganondorf convinces Link to take up some serious training. Link immediately throws his back out upon lifting a mock master sword.

Princess Zelda:

Upon learning more about the Triforce, Link purposely misleads Ganondorf in his quest to locate the third Triforce…Because he doesn’t want to move out.

The Desert:

Ganondorf recites his “my country lay in a vast desert” speech. Link interrupts to ask what a desert is.

Family Dinner:

Link makes dinner, Ganondorf is late and Link chews him out for his lack of appreciation towards him.

Ganondorf feels bad and surprises him with breakfast in bed. (this one is just gay)

Daddy Issues:

Ganondorf inquires about Link’s family, Link reveals that he never had a father and was raised by his grandmother. Link is surprised to find out they both have that in common.

The Boat Pt. 2:

King of Redlions stressing to Jabun that he thinks he may have discovered the Hero Reborn who has since been captured by the Demon King himself. Also tries to explain that…maybe it’s okay actually.

Cutaway to Ganondorf and Link playing a drinking game?

Aryll’s Visit:

It’s Link’s birthday this time, and Helmaroc King has a surprise planned for Link on Aryll’s behalf.

She reprimands him for still not changing his outfit.

Queen of Pirates:

Following rumours of a sunken kingdom, a mysterious Pirate Queen finds herself lost in Hyrule. Link scrambles to get her to leave, but she threatens to return and rob him and his ghostly king blind.

Minitime:

Link doing some introspection, discussing w/ Miniblin that, even though he’s evil…Maybe Ganondorf isn’t all that bad?

General Malaise:

Ganondorf has locked himself in his room for far too long, Link busts in to give him a heavy hitting pep talk.

Poetry Night:

It’s poetry night in the Tower, and everyone has something to share. Link prepares something that leaves Ganondorf legitimately moved.

Blinded with Science:

Ganondorf tries some new spells out to see if he can relieve Link of his triforce…prematurely. It does not work.

Accidentally Holding Out For A Hero:

Link follows Ganondorf to his hideout again to find the place besieged by the Pirate Queen’s crew. Link accidentally does something heroic to keep Ganondorf from harm and Tetra out of his grasp.

Streetwise Hercules:

Ganondorf finds himself in emotional turmoil after Link’s show of heroism, the urge to utterly crush him returns. Ganondorf is in an oddly optimistic mood.

Tennis Practice:

Link is in his weekly training w/ Phantom Ganon, Link has a lot on his mind. He questions his attractions to his captor while beating Phantom Ganon effortlessly.

Adventure of Miniblin:

Caught unaware, Ganondorf vents his emotions over Link to Miniblin. Miniblin is later found by Link who does the exact same thing. Miniblin is not capable of common speech, and is sick of the lack of communication between Link and Ganondorf.

The Duel:

Ganondorf approaches Link and passes him a note that says: “Do you wanna spar? Y/N”

The Duel Pt.2:

Link and Ganondorf find themselves evenly matched, both exhausted from age and lack of physical activity. Link convinces Ganondorf to join him in his weekly training sessions w/ Phantom Ganon.

The Duel Pt. 3:

Ganondorf joins tennis and finds the activity to be actually kind of fun and quite the workout. Admits he might not have given Phantom Ganon enough credit and offers him an additional day off from his duty.

The Outfit:

Aryll sends Link a new outfit, Ganondorf finds it to be too titillating and begs Link to change back.

The Nightmare:

Ganondorf is plagued with bad dreams and has difficulty falling asleep, Link offers him a homemade remedy, Grandma certified. (It’s 1:5 warm milk and rum)

The Boat Pt.3:

King of Redlions approaches Tetra, he has devised a plan to “rescue” Link from the demon king but he needs her help.

Miniblin Musing:

Link, playing with miniblin, asks Ganon where these things come from anyway. “I am not explaining the Dark World to you right now.”

Namesake:

Link has to explain that “Link” is just a really common hylian name. Some famous dead guy or something.

#nhfom

29 notes · View notes

shachaai · 6 months

Note

WIP Wednesday with a twist!

Tell me your 5 favorite lines that you have written

I. Couldn't pick lines. So chunks? And more than five... orz

The Lindworm's Lullaby

“Tell me about your little one,” says Lecter anyway, and Will sighs. If the good doctor is so determined… “Lenore,” says Will. She whom the angels call - as she fusses back. “Lenore Graham. She’s six months old, and looks like the cross between a princess, a pixie, and a dumpling. I had her in March.”

Commencer par La Faim

Beverly falls in step with him, leaving the rest of the food in her bag. “I know, right? Good thing too - the morgue’s all corpses and fungi at the moment, which has pretty much put us all off everything Italian until at least next week, so we’re all temporarily embracing anti-mushroom pescetarianism.” Swallowing, Will squints at his burrito. Black beans. Seasoned rice. Cheese. Onions. Shredded lettuce. Sauce. “This doesn’t contain any fish though?” “Yeah, Jimmy’s been squeamish about the cafeteria seafood ever since a tuna sandwich from there gave him the runs.” Fair enough: Will usually doesn’t touch the fish options in the cafeteria either, although his avoidance is based on the fact he has plenty of - fresher - fish at home that he had caught himself. But if the cafeteria food made Jimmy ill… “You’re really not convincing me I shouldn’t’ve bought my own lunch.” “Too late, you started eating the bribe,” Beverly says ruthlessly, and snorts when Will only sighs pointedly down at his burrito. It’s ruined now. Sort of. Food is food, but now it’s food associated with Jimmy Price’s diarrhoea. “Oh, shut up and eat your fibre.”

---

“There are more species of fungi, bacteria and protozoa in a single scoop of soil than there are species of plants and vertebrate animals in the whole of North America. And yet, animals are more closely related to fungi than any other kingdom - more than 600 million years ago we shared a common ancestry. The branch of fungi that eventually led to animals evolved to capture nutrients by surrounding their food with cellular sacs: essentially primitive stomachs.” “We had stomachs before we had souls.” Abigail’s gentians have been shifted to the windowsill, the older bouquet moved to give way to the new. Will reaches out thoughtlessly, brushing light fingertips over bruised, tired petals. “Says something.” “Hunger is and always has been a primary drive throughout nature.” “And maybe fungi developed a more... efficient means of dealing with it than we have as a species.” Will catches a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye and glances over - Lecter, coming over to join Will at the window, step by openly curious step. “You said it yourself: fungi predates us, and it’ll probably survive us as well, devouring that which kills us and feeding that which forgets us.” “Rising from the rot,” Lecter muses, “consumed by that which will also one day rot.” “An ancient cycle of growth and decay,” Will says, and drops his eyes to the other man’s collar when Lecter looks at him directly. [...] “Fungi are the grand recyclers of our planet,” Lecter says, hands tucked almost casually into his trouser pockets like he’d pry open Will’s skull with his nails if his hands aren’t otherwise occupied, “the interface organisms between life and death.” Transgressive in Will’s mind’s eye, three bodies intertwined in the greater body of the woods, neither fully flesh nor fungi. He frowns, and Lecter takes it as prompt to go on. “Mushrooms, as you asked about them, are merely the visible above-ground protrusions of sometimes vast underground networks of mycelium. They’re quite remarkable: mycelial nets have been shown to share the same architecture as that of astrocytic brain cells, both networks creating neurological pathways for distributing information as efficiently as possible.” Will parses that. And then drops his hand from the gentians. “...Mushrooms are sentient.” “Mycelial networks are arguably sentient. Of which mushrooms are a minuscule but visible part.” Lecter’s voice turns thoughtful. “An intricate web of connections.”

---

Lecter manages to condense so much judgemental distaste for the peanut butter cup melting onto Will’s lips in one look, he might as well package up the solid product and sell it as a flavour of its own. Will very pointedly shoves the rest of the candy into the hollow of his cheek before acknowledging the other man. “Dr. Lecter.” “Is that your lunch?” asks Lecter, continuing to radiate the disapproval of genteel schoolmarms everywhere: don't talk with your mouth full. “I have three more in my bag,” says Will, who had been planning to supplement the peanut butter cups with a hot sandwich from the cafeteria but now feels almost committed to seeing if he can survive the rest of the working day fuelled only with coffee, filched Halloween candy, and spite. “Along with two giant sour gummy worms and a packet of candy corn.” “Truly,” Lecter says dryly, “a balanced meal.”

---

Price sets down his fork to carefully unwrap the poor thing. The doughnut isn’t terrible appetising after the many hands it has passed through to arrive in Price’s; it’s been battered and half-flattened by careless fingers and thumbs, and a great deal of the neon orange frosting that had been decorating the top of it has now stuck to the purple tissue that should have protected it. “You don’t want it?” Price asks - somehow without the slightest trace of sarcasm. Will grimaces. “Alpha-gift,” he explains. “Ahhh,” says Price with all the sympathetic understanding of a fellow omega, and then immediately tears off a chunk of the doughnut to pop into his mouth. Guilt-free. “Who’s the unlucky suitor?” “Professor Ericson -” “And you’ve given it away?” Beverly announces herself by slamming her lunch tray down beside Will’s mostly-forgotten baked potato, looking down at Will semi-reproachfully. Of course she knows Will’s feelings about Ericson, but she can’t help the little instinctive flash of hurt she must feel as an alpha watching an omega discard their gift. “He’ll’ve put his feelings in that.” “I wasn’t encouraging him by eating it,” Will tells her, and Beverly huffs at him as she sits down. “You hear that?” Zeller asks Price, hot on Beverly’s heels. (Will idly wonders what must’ve held them up in the lunch queue.) “You’re eating a man’s feelings.” Price, already halfway through the doughnut, doesn’t look at all bothered. “You want some?” Zeller puts his tray down beside Price’s and tears off a piece of the doughnut to chew himself. “...His feelings taste like artificial colours and preservatives.”

---

“You look put-out, doctor,” Will teases him, touching his fingers to the crease of Hannibal’s elbow for a moment to guide Hannibal around a fallen log as they turn back towards the house. “Did you get something nasty on your shiny boots?” “Strangely enough, I do not recall a warning about there being something nasty out here to step in,” Hannibal sallies back, taking the opportunity to step closer to Will and push Winston out just in front of the two of them. The dog gives him a dirty look, but Hannibal ignores him and turns his next question to a murmur close by the shell of Will’s ear. “Was I led out here under false pretences?” Will, delightfully, shivers, and tries to mask it by lifting his hand to that same ear, leaning away from Hannibal to tuck his hair back behind it. “I would think someone who is at least reasonably intelligent should already know that woods, in general, tend to contain many nasty things, and so, when planning to go for a trek in them, should be prepared accordingly.” “Putting aside the implicit remark about my reasonable intelligence -” Hannibal says, smiling when Will begins to laugh beside him, “I would remind you that physical, mental, and emotional preparedness are all separate considerations. An individual may be fully prepared in advance for anything the elements may physically throw at him, but only understand the full mental and emotional ramifications after the fact.” The white fangs of Will’s grin flash in the dark. “You need to be prepared emotionally to get coyote shit on your boots?” “If I were actually attached to this pair, I might never recover.”

---

Cold, creamy blue sludge slides against Hannibal’s tongue, heavy with cheap syrup, processed sprinkles and cream. Lemon-raspberry-marshmallow sweet and tart. “...It tastes like the Lucky Charms leprechaun just died in my mouth.” Abigail chokes whilst swallowing her milkshake.

---

“No rest for the wicked,” Price sighs as yet another grim-faced technician trundles down the Pagoda stairs and past them to convene outside, and God, if that isn’t the motto of the day. “But better this weekend than next, I suppose. I’ve got a two-day meet-up with the family.” Zeller eyes him dubiously. “You think the Chesapeake Ripper wants to keep his schedule free for the Black Friday sales?” “If it’s the Ripper,” says Will. [...] “It’s the Ripper,” Zeller insists, just as Price chimes in with: “What, you don’t think serial killers like discounts? Who doesn’t like a bargain?”

---

“Speechless as well as breathless,” Will says with a frown. His mouth still tastes sour from vomit, even after sipping some water and grabbing some mints from the nearest vending machine. “But the heart is unaffected?” “Wholly intact and in place,” says Zeller. “Seems like the Ripper doesn’t go for love.” “Struck, but not in the heart. Huh.” Price ponders for a moment. “Maybe it’s just a puppy crush?” Will’s frown deepens. “If the Ripper wanted to show us he had a crush, he’d’ve literally filled this man’s stomach with butterflies. No, this is a more ardent declaration than that.” “You’re a picky date, Graham,” Beverly says with a sigh. “Psychopaths aren’t renowned for their emotional intelligence. Maybe this is a case of delayed realisation.” “Maybe the Ripper’s aromantic,” Price says, and shrugs when the rest of them turn to look at him. “I’m just putting it out there.” [...] Beverly tilts her head. “Really don’t think the general ace community would appreciate adding the Chesapeake Ripper to their ranks, but I’m not sure if that idea is better or worse than picturing the Ripper as a lovelorn dumbass with issues of romantic self-understanding.” “I, for one, am deeply comforted by the thought that the Chesapeake Ripper’s love-life sucks more than mine,” says Zeller. “Not trying to woo people with corpses probably helps,” Price chips in. Will moves away from the body. “In some cultures and during some periods of history, it was a perfectly valid - and encouraged - courting technique. What’s a better trophy than the body of your vanquished opponent?” “Can’t say a corpse would win my approval,” Price sniffs. “What’s wrong with a bottle of tequila and a few tubs of Ben & Jerrys?” “Half Baked?” Zeller asks. “Phish Food, please.”

---

Hannibal - surprisingly - helps, sitting in a chair at Will’s side and folding Will’s hand closest to him between both of his own. His thumb running soothingly back and forth over the slight swell of Will’s scent gland. “You’d be surprised at the sheer range of items I was called upon to remove from the rectal passages of patients in my days as a surgeon.” Will’s head thumps back hard onto the bed behind him, and he turns his incredulous eyes on Hannibal. “Cucumbers were quite a popular choice,” Hannibal blithely continues, completely ignoring Will’s nails digging pointedly into the back of his hand, “but the top 10 list of rectal foreign bodies I was called upon to remove, outside of broken sexual aids, also included shampoo bottles, bottles of alcohol, carved root vegetables, beaded necklaces and barbie dolls.” “We had a gentleman in here not too long back who’d shoved three baseballs up there,” Dominic says, casual as he pleases. (This is what Will gets for actually introducing Hannibal as ‘the father’ for this ultrasound rather than just ‘the support’.) “It was worse than the one time my eldest shoved his favourite Batman lego figure up his nose. I don’t envy his surgeon.” “The worst I had of the kind on my table was a young artist who had poured Plaster of Paris up her rectum,” Hannibal says, simply squeezing back on Will’s grip on his hand at Will’s muttered oh my God. “She wanted a mould of her colon, but only succeeded in glueing her sphincter - and the rest of her lower passage - shut.” “This is supposed to be a touching moment,” Will says - perhaps a little bit louder than necessary - when it looks like Dominic is about to continue the disturbingly focused surgical conversation. The technologist clicking away on the computer beside them barely manages to mask his laugh with a cough, smile hid against his raised arm. Hannibal lowers his face to Will’s shoulder - where Will can feel the nuisance grinning against his arm. “My apologies, Will. It seemed as though you would appreciate a distraction.”

---

“In my defence,” Beverly says, looking up from where she is blatantly googling encephalitis on her phone so she can frown melodramatically at, first, the dog plushie with a bandaged head that she had brought Will as a get well soon gift and, second, Will’s own head - which is very much bandage-free -, “you just said ‘head injury’ on the phone.” “Pretty sure I said that I had a problem in my brain,” says Will, absently rubbing one of the plushie’s (extremely) soft floppy ears between forefinger and thumb as he watches Beverly tap through to wikipedia, her chair pulled up beside his hospital bed. God, Will misses his dogs. “Yeah, but you’re known for being self-deprecating and shitheads are always saying you have a problem in the brain due to Lounds and her readers,” Beverly points out - reasonably, annoyingly enough. “When have I ever taken that seriously?” “I’m touched by your support,” Will says - mostly - without sarcasm. It feels good to have someone in his corner. It feels good to see a familiar friendly face when he’s stuck in hospital, the long hours stretching out before him otherwise fairly bleak. “And the dog.” “He has your eyes,” Beverly says, cheerfully ignoring the burst capillaries in Will’s own whites from excess vomiting to nod at the machine-embroidered big blue eyes get well soon puppy is sporting. “Definitely no chance of your skull getting sawn open for a matching bandage?” “Don’t think that’s in the official autoimmune encephalitis treatment plan, sorry.” Beverly just snorts, still shamelessly browsing wikipedia for information on Will’s condition. In front of him. “...Only you could develop encephalitis just to wriggle out of a social invite. Good ol’ migraines too plebeian for you, Graham? Even your encephalopathies are rarefied. They only described your version of the disease in 2007.” “As you can see,” Will says dryly, with a gesture down the length of himself, cannula, hospital bed and machines around him all, “I am deeply committed to being on-trend.”

---

“Basics first then,” says Abigail, resigning herself to her fate. “Got it. Slicing, dicing…” “Washing up,” adds Hannibal - solely to see the expression that immediately slides across his companion’s face: disgusted teenager. “You will, I’m sure, be glad to know that I have a dishwasher to assist with most of that task.” “‘Most of that task’?” Abigail inquires - and then answers herself before Hannibal can. “Of course you’ve got a bunch of stuff that’s super old or delicate or isn’t dishwasher-safe. Who needs fancy flourishes when you can plate dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets on Count Dracula’s own dishware?” About to pick up a potato of his own to join Abigail in peeling, Hannibal pauses. “...I’m sorry to disappoint you, but none of my china is Translyvanian.” “He probably imported.” “...A valid supposition,” Hannibal concedes, bending his head to his own task with a knife. “I shall be sure to examine my dishware for any vampiric provenance. The dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, however, are still out of the question.”

[REDACTED - if you recognise the fic, shhh]

"Do you take your coffee with arsenic or without?"

[Vampire/Werewolf Universe]

"You just... slept through the British Empire? Two World Wars? The atomic bomb?" "You seem to believe these are things a person would wish to be awake for?"

---

"Please put the clothes on that I brought you." "I see no reason." "Common courtesy?" When the plea seemed to fall on deaf ears - "I will sit here and make unflattering comments about your mummified dick until you oblige me."

---

"I have loved others, I think. But, for so long, did not allow myself to be in love. Love brings pain." --- "Love always means loss eventually, and I had had too much of that already."

"And Arthur changed your mind?""

"My mind. My heart. --- "You think I was happy about it either? I told you I love him, but, ai… you have met him."

"Now I believe you."

#needcake

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igniferous · 1 year

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kkm features dragons that meow like cats and cuddly vegetarian sharks and demon swords that groan n' moan n' puke all-destructive magic beams and maidmer princesses (tuna fish with sexi humanoid legs and yes you can date them, it's always morally correct) and sentient flying skeletons that telepathically send purple prose to each other while spying on the enemy and a himbo soldier who fell in love with a bear in a desert once and left military service to live out the rest of his days with it and a whole faction of demon nobility who wear thongs because it's clearly a sophisticated undergarment and evil spirits sealed in boxes that are perpetually on the verge of being set loose and used for war crimes

but the most unrealistic part is that mc, whenever he needs to be disguised, can dye his jet black hair a bright auburn color in 5 mins without bleaching the everliving hell out of it first

??????????

#⑊「 ooc #conrart: we need to traverse this human territory yuuri grabbing 5 boxes of hair bleach: ok give me three hours #sorry for kkm posting when probably only 2-3 of you out there have any idea what i'm talking about #and to all the rest of you come hang out in wolf's kingdom and you could have ALL THIS and more :/#tbd ////

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cjlothecastle · 1 month

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fisheybabey

its pisces season !!!!!!! the sun has dipped down into the dark watery realm of the fish, the fish of death, community, culmenations, and endings. the water has run through all signs of the zodiac and pools at our feet, pulling strands of time and wrapping seagrass around our ankles. the sign of the fish is the sign closest to death, we rejoice in this.

two-parter episode live on february 23rd and march 8th

full episode here ;;; full playlist here

For granted - yaeji Bleached wavves - zoon Track 10 - charli xcx Pin - grimes xxx Britpop - ag cook Levo - recondite Tiger face - dora jar Running on empty - BETWEEN FRIENDS Counting all the starfish - kitty In your realm - freak heat waves JUST LIKE WE NEVER SAID GOODBYE - SOPHIE 1:15 - 8485 One touch - BAMBII xxx Us ephemeral - vitesse x 1 - petal supply, umru, himeria, trndytrndy xxxxxxxxxxxx la vita nova - christine and the queens, caroline polachek second life - kitty closed space - CFCF its u (diamond version) - petal supply, himeria bitch bites dog - cecile believe xxx howling at the moon - yergurl robrash - TR/ST boarding - ML buch von dutch - charli xcx MANIC - COBRAH thirteen - myst milano THERAPY - ceréna, promis3 feelingz - diana starshine, galen tipton, plaieboi, TUNA DISPLAY cut to the feeling - yawning portal xxx MTL me déteste - lydia képinski sadder badder cooler (y2k remix) - tove love perfect (exceeder) - mason, princess superstar

#community radio #montreal #queer #college radio #live radio #radio #campus radio #canadian music #concordia #charli xcx #fish #pisces #zodiac

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abyssalbest · 4 months

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That is a very good choice! Both names are fantastic and will stand the test of time. So beautiful!

Though you said top 10. Were you just estimating that, or do you have a top 10 ready to go?? I love me a list!

My top 10 fish names are:

1. Stargazer. Beautiful, lovely, absolutely stunning. How wonderful is it that humans discovered something so different, so alien, and assumed that it too must yearn for the skies?

2. The Goblin Shark. This is the exact opposite of the stargazer, and 10x as funny. Someone really saw this fish just vibin and said “Look at that ugly bitch fish.” Perfect. 10/10. Humans are amazing.

3. Can opener smooth dream. Do I even need to explain? It’s an angler fish that, against all logic, has been dubbed “can opener smooth dream”. There are beautiful things in the world, and can opener smooth dream is one of them.

4. Glass Guppy. Doesn’t have a deeply engrained sense of delight and wonderful, but still an objectively beautiful name for a fish. Elegant, graceful, rolls off the tongue. I very much enjoy this name.

5. Swordfish. Intimidating and cool, but ultimately uncreative. I would definitely not want to fuck with a swordfish, but they could’ve called it “the sea-bound swordsman” or something to add some flourish. A little pizazz. Mid tier as far as fish names go.

6. Giant tuna. Even less creative! Might as well have called it “big fish”! Even colossal squids got better names than these guys, which sucks, because giant tuna rule!

7. Hagfish. They are neither hags nor fish. They are just worms with scary mouths. I want my money back.

8. Blobfish. This one sucks for obvious reasons. In their natural habitat, blobfish are not hideous pink mass of flesh and are- in fact- normal ass fish. I demand a redo for the blobfish! They, much like the humble giant tuna, deserve better.

9. Hector’s dolphins. Who the fuck is hector?

10. Giant squid. The fact that we actually discovered a giant squid hanging out in the ocean and did not immediately name it “the kraken” is a disservice to me and all of society. But specifically me.

Honorable mentions of fish names I think are great!: Sea Angels, Princess Parrotfish, Bleeding Heart tetra, and dottybacks. :)

#the deep speaks #parasitic mutual #fish rating #fish rambles #this is a silly post #but seriously why did they do that to my man the blobfish #ask and ye shall be answered #ocean animals #oceanlife

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howlingday · 2 years

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here's a challenge. any ship you like (except for ozpin cause it's too easy) but the story is strangers to lovers to strangers to lovers. best of luck no reincarnating characters!

Jaune ran through the palace garden, chasing his older sister Saphron as the two played tag. Their father was tasked with working security for the ruler, and the family was invited to attend the festival. His mother, pregnant with her sixth child, sat and held her snoozing youngest on her chest as the twins rolled a ball back and forth together.

At lunchtime, the family gathered in the dining hall where they met and ate with the royal family. The ruler was a massive, burly man, easily twice his father's size, and his wife was beautiful and wore golden jewelry on her wrists and around her neck. But the one who caught his eye was the princess.

She was about his age, with stunning golden eyes and a set of black cat ears atop her silky black hair. His face grew warm as he gazed at her.

"Careful, son." His father whispered. "You might spook the girl with your staring." Jaune immediately shifted his gaze to the floor, his face awash with the heat of shame. His father laughed loudly.

The families took their seats. The mothers sat next to each other, as the fathers sat on each end of the long table. Jaune was seated next to the princess. He tried his best to not look at her, his little heart drumming hard in his chest.

"Hello." The girl mumbled as the meal was served. She straightened herself, then spoke more clearly. "My name is Blake Belladonna. I am the daughter of Ghira Belladonna, the chieftain of Menagerie. What's your name?"

"Uh, Jaune." He answered. "Jaune Arc. My dad is working for your dad." She nodded, her hair bobbing with movement. Jaune felt his mouth dry seeing her hair dance.

The two remained silent until the main course was delivered to their plates, tuna fish sandwiches. Jaune hated fish. He picked at the disgusting meal when Blake spoke.

"Do you not like tuna?" She asked.

"I don't like fish." Jaune groaned.

"Can I have yours?"

"Sure." Jaune slid the sandwich to her plate. In return, she scooped more fruit to his ate. She hummed in delight at the sandwich, and Jaune knew then he was in love with the princess. Just like in his fairy tales.

The festival had been going for days now, and was reaching it's climax. Jaune had spent every morning eating breakfast with his sisters and his new friend, Blake. After, they would read until they grew bored by the afternoon. They would then play, often reenacting the scenes they read, until evening. At dusk, their families took then into town, where they played games, ate food, and talked with the islanders at their stalls.

Jaune was wearing a fancy, blue robe with tidal wave patterns, looking similar to a sailor from the old days he read about. On his head was white rope tied in a knot above his forehead, and on his feet he wore open-toe-and-body sandals. He sometimes had to kick sand or dirt out of his new, comfy shoes.

Blake wore a longer, black robe with a white sash around the waist. On her head, with holes cut for her ears, was an empty basket. She had been doing this sence she was able to walk, so she was used to this. As she said this, however, the basket fell onto Jaune's head. They shared a laugh.

At one stall, Jaune was shoved to the ground by an older boy. He had fiery red hair, piercing blue eyes, and two small horns atop his head. He wore a red robe with yellow flames along the bottom, and his rope and sandals were black.

Jaune brushed himself off as he stood up. "I'm sorry." He apologized. The other boy was older, stronger, and probably smarter than him, too."I shouldn't have gotten in your way."

"Yeah, you shouldn't." The older boy grabbed Jaune's collar. "This is a sacred festival. We don't need humans ruining it for the rest of us!"

"I'm sorry." Jaune mumbled as he looked down.

The boy raised his fist. "Not yet, you're not."

"Adam!" Blake snapped. "That's enough. Put him down."

Adam scoffed at her, then let go. He turned and walked away. "Don't ruin my festival, human." He disappeared into the crowd, and the two were, in a sense, left alone.

"Are you okay, Blake?" Jaune asked.

"I should be asking you!" Blake placed her hands on her hips. "Why didn't you fight back?"

"He was bigger than me." Jaune merkly answered. "I can't win against him."

"It's not about winning, Jaune." Blake lectured, dusting off Jaune's shoulders. "It's about being a hero. If you don't believe you can win, who will?"

"Did you think I could win?"

Blake didn't answer. She was quiet the rest of the evening until the main event that night. Chieftain Ghira stepped on stage, with Kali and Blake, and the festival became silent. He tapped the microphone before speaking.

"Good evening, everyone," he spoke calmly into the mic, "and once again, thank you to everyone who attended the Festival of Fishery. Our island may not be as large a Kingdom, but what we lack in agriculture, we are blessed greatly in the sea we are provided, and the brave sailors who are working, even tonight, for us, are to be thanked. It takes great courage to sacrifice something as precious as our time with our loved ones, as well as risking your life out at sea, where unpredictability isn't the only thing fishy out there." He was quiet as he waited for the laughter to die down.

Jaune let out a chuckle. He then noticed a shadow moving behind the stage. Curiosity getting the better of him, he slipped away from his mother and sisters, and made his way to the stage. Once there, he saw a hand sticking out from the curtain.

On closer look, it was Adam from before, judging by his hair and horns, and there was something dripping between his fingers. He then noticed there was something sharp poking out. Jaune followed where he was aiming, and knew Blake was in danger.

Jaune rushed on stage, past the chieftain, and pushed the princess to the stage floor. Chieftan Ghira moved towards Jaune, raising his hand to the rising anger of the crowd, while Kali kissed her daughter's head. Blake sniffled as her arm was scuffed, and her robe was dirtied.

There was an uproar quelling until Jaune stood to his feet, covered in a pink and brown slime. An eyeball fell from his hair, where a bone was sticking out. He looked to Blake, making sure she was okay. He was then lifted into the air by something grabbing his sides.

"This is the sacrifice I mean!" The chieftain roared with a laugh, before setting Jaune down and placing a hand on his shoulder. "This boy- No, this young man is a visitor from outside our island home, and yet he took a shot from an unknown assassin for my own daughter!" He then sniffed the air, and wiped his hand on his robe. "The good news is the assassin was using a chum-ball. The bad news is the boy now smells like low-tide."

"Hey, that's the best time to go clam-hunting!" Someone shouted from the crowd. "If you ask me, he's been blessed by the shoreline herself!"

The crowd laughed, and the chieftain shared in it. "You're right! So, in honor of his bravery, I dub this brave young man, Jaune Arc, Shield of Low-Tide!" The crowd cheered once more, and was escorted by his father back to his family, just in time for the fireworks to start.

The night slowed to it's end, and Jaune and his family walked home, occasionally stopping to watch the remaining fireworks fly into the night. The largest, and last display shot high into the night, outshing the stars with it's finale, exploding into a glittering ball of purple and yellow. They walked the rest of the way to the castle without turning around.

Jaune groaned as his mother rubbed his hair vigorously. She grimaced as she wrinkled her nose. She sighed, and patted the rest of his body dry. "I've done the best I can. You still smell like fish, so you'll have to sleep outside of our room." She unplugged the bathtub and walked to the door. "I'll discuss with Kali if she can spare another room for you. Until then, go ahead and get ready for bed."

"Yes, Mama." Jaune stepped up to the sink and brushed his teeth. There was a knock at the door as he spit. "One second!" He washed off his brush and hurried to the door. Blake was on the other side, smiling.

"Hi, Jaune." She greeted.

"Hi, Blake." Jaune replied. He looked at her bandaged arm. "Are you okay?"

"Mhm!" She nodded. "It hurt, but at least I don't smell like fish." Jaune groaned, marking Blake giggle. "It's okay, 'cause I like fish."

"Is there a guest room left?" Jaune asked. "Mama is asking your mom, too."

Blake shook her head. "All of our guest rooms are being used by your family." Jaune sighed at that. "But you can stay in my room."

"Really?" Jaune asked. "Even though I smell like fish?" Blake nodded, and he chuckled. "You're weird, Blake."

She quirked an eyebrow, her smile never breaking. "Good weird?"

He nodded. "Good weird."

"Please, just kill me." Jaune groaned as his body swayed with the roll of the ship. He belched into his mouth before swallowing the little bile he had built up. "Be my angel of mercy and just kill me."

"Pathetic." The captain sneered at the knight she captured. "To think all of Remnant fears the Knight of Atlas, and yet your capture was as easy as leaving port. Did you really think you could disguise yourself as a sailor when you're so easily seasick?"

"And airsick." He grunted out following with a belch. "And I'm not working for Atlas."

"Oh?" The captain perked her cat-like ears at this, making her earrings jingle. "Then why are you here, Dog?"

Jaune bristled at the name. Jaune's father was a hero among Faunus, known as the Wolf of Ansel. Being trained to be his successor, Jaune was ridiculed as the Dog of Vale, since his reputation was not only lackluster compared to his father, some doubted they were even related, and that Jaune assumed the name as a way to make himself look better, denying the two were even from the same town.

"I'm here," Jaune groaned out, "because you're attacking dust trade routes. Making things worse."

"For Atlas? I highly doubt Jacques Schnee ever cares what happens at sea if at least one ship makes it to port. Besides, I'm sure Atlas will survive, with or without a mercenary interfering."

"Not Atlas. Not Schnee." Jaune swallowd more spit and bile. "Mantle. Coal."

"Coal?" The captain blinked. "As in Coal and Son's Dust Emporium?"

"The owner died from a pirate raid. His son wants answers."

"I see." The captain snapped her fingers, and a sailor arrived. "Bring me saltines, Maiden's Touch, and some clean water. And tell the Quartermaster to find an island for us to drop anchor."

"Aye aye, Captain Kahn!" The sailor ran out to complete his task.

Captain Kahn crouched to eye-level with Jaune. "I hope you're as good with a blade as they say, Dog," she growled, "because I'm going to show you the full strength of Sienna Kahn, Queen of the White Fang Pirates."

In less than an hour, the ship moored to an island with more sand than stone. It was one cliff too much to be a sandbar, and far enough from any major islands to be missed if an enemy vessel or nosy law enforcement tried to interfere. Jaune and Sienna stepped onto the sand, where he crouched and heaved, grateful for the gift of standing on solid ground. She rolled her eyes as the exaggerated display.

"I thought you were a warrior, Dog." Sienna chided, resting an arm on her cutlass. "Or should I call you, 'Pup'?"

"My name is Jaune Arc." He corrected as he stood straight, towering over her by a head and a half. His pale skin almost blinded her.

"Is it?" Sienna replied. "I have met an Arc before, and from where I stand, you are nothing like him."

"I am nothing like my father." Jaune agreed. "But I don't need to compare myself to him to know I'm his son."

"Then draw your sword, Pup!" Sienna unsheathed her cutlass and took a combative, fencing stance with it. Her tanned skin from years of working in the sunshine glistened in the light. She was almost too beautiful to fight. But Jaune knew how dangerous the Tigress of Menagerie could be. "Face me, Warrior to Warrior!"

Jaune unsheathed Crocea Mors' blade from it's sheathe, his family's heirlooms, and held the sword with his left hand. With baited breath, the circled each other, making no movement to attack the other.

Jaune wasn't used to fighting with just his sword, but he didn't need to be stronger. He needed to be smarter. And smarter meant fighting cautiously. And fighting cautiously meant letting Sienna make the first move.

Slipping a foot back, then kicking sand forward, Sienna made the first move, thrusting through the sandscreen diversion. Finding no purchase, she cut downwards, cutting into the sand.

Jaune ducked the thrust, then rolled away, grabbing a fistful of sand before standing. He assumed a similar fencing pose with his fist behind his back.

"Trying to blind me?" Sienna asked, a knowing smile on her lips. She rushed towards him, clashing blade against blade, engaging him and never letting him break from reacting. "Only a fool engages in a battle of trickery with a pirate."

"And what kind of fool tries with the Queen of Pirates?" Jaune replied. He leapt backwards, swinging his fist forward, releasing the sand he pocketed as she closed the gap.

Hooking a leg behind Jaune's, she used her free hand to push him backwards. As he fell, he noticed her eyes were closed. When she opened them, he was on the ground, her sword to his throat. "A dead one."

Flicking his wrist, Jaune knocked her sword away and rolled to his feet. She smirked at him, chuckling as she brushed sand from her beautiful locks of black hair. His heart's thundering missed a beat at the sight of the beauty before him. With a gulp, he took a calming breath.

"Is this too much for you, Pup?" Sienna mocked. "Do you need your Atlas master's to take you for a walk?"

"I serve the people of Remnant." Jaune flared his nostrils. "Not any one Kingdom."

"And what of the people of Menagerie?" Sienna asked. "What of the overcrowded streets of the hungry, and the homeless, who take to pirating to survive? Don't they deserve justice?" She closed the gap again, going on the offensive and pressing hard into Jaune's defense. "Tell me, Pup, if you're not here for Atlas, then why come to Menagerie at all? I doubt some sob story would be enough to risk your life against a pirate." She pushed him away and stepped back. "I can see it in your eyes. You're not here for Coal and Son's at all. They went out of business ages ago, because the Schnee Dust Company took them out. So why are you here?"

Jaune shifted his sword to his right hand, wiping the sweat from his left hand. He ran along the shore, forcing Sienna to give chase. He made it to the other side of the cliff face, hiding them both from the sight of her crew. He turned and charged the Pirate Queen head on.

She grunted at his swing, the force almost pushing her into the sand. He was using his weak hand the entire time, and she didn't even notice. His fencing improved as well, as if he were holding back. A game of trickery, indeed.

Jaune batted her sword, then caught it in a spin and tossed her sword away. He closed the gap between them, his lips close to hers, and his sword and her throat even closer. Just one movement could change everything in their lives.

He stepped back, sheathing his sword and allowing her to recover hers. As she reached for it, time slowed around her.

"Princess Blake Belladonna." Sienna didn't move. "I heard she went missing. I... I'm hoping to find her."

"Oh?" Sienna picked up her sword, not facing him. "And what makes you think she's on board my ship?"

"I never said she was." Jaune answered, stepping closer. "But I did hear Sienna Kahn died twenty years ago, after the Festival of Fishery. How she died protecting the only child of Chieftain Belladonna, allowing her and her mother to escape. Chieftain Ghira Belladonna was never heard from again, and Chieftain Taurus took control of Menagerie. He waged an all-out war against Atlas, resulting in harsher penalties in the already suffering island." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Blake, it's time to come home."

"Blessed by the Shorline, indeed." She turned and hugged her oldest friend, whom she known for only a week. After they left, the two wrote to each other until the coup. It was after this that they began their transformations.

Jaune took his training with his father more seriously, learning the art of mercenary. Combat was his weakest trait, but he more than made up for it in his tactical mindset. In his off time, he would read "The Shogun's Letter," one of Blake's favorite book series.

Blake had gone from Island Princess to Cabin Girl in a single night. She was no stranger to hard work, and her mother was there for her until she died years later from a sea-faring illness. She learned the way of the sword and skull and bones from her grimy benefactors. She got the idea to disguise herself as Sienna Kahn after re-re-rereading "Of Knights & Knaves," a story where a squire pretends to be his slain master to uncover a hidden plot against the king. She even took to writing stories herself of her sneaking into a squire's bedchamber and-

"Blake? Are you okay?" Jaune asked.

"Yeah, I am." She sniffed and stepped away. "Let's go back."

"One sec." Jaune held up a hand. "I need you to hit me."

Blake blinked. "What?"

"I brought us over here so you can keep up your disguise when you came back." Jaune explained. "But we need to make it look like you won. So hit me."

"Jaune, I'm not going to hit you." Blake placed her hands on her hips. "We've seen each other for the first time in years, so I'm not going to- Aie!" Blake yelped as she felt him roughly paw her breast. She growled, her face red with embarrassment.

"Eh heh." Jaune nervously chuckled. "Uh, oops?"

"A toast!" Blake raised her glass high for her crew to see. "To the White Fang Pirates, and their newest crewmate, Jaune Arc, The Hound-Dog of Menagerie!" The crew howled in response, some barking for good measure as their crewmate grew green in the gills from the fading medicine. "I hope you're ready, crew, because tomorrow, we return home to Menagerie!"

"To Sienna Kahn!" One of them cheered. "The greatest Pirate Queen for the last fifty years!"

"Huh?!" Jaune balked as he was about to take more Maiden's Touch with his drink. "Fifty?!"

"Yeah, don'tcha know?" One the crewmembers said. "Sienna Kahn was near forty when she took that Belladonna job. Cap'n don't look too bad fer a GILF, does she?"

Jaune threw up over the side. He spit for good measure. Some folks were just too gross for their own good, and sailors were no exception.

"Having fun?" Blake asked, leaning against the railing. "I'm glad you're alive. When I lost my father, I didn't know what to do. I thought about finding my way to your father, but I was afraid he would turn me away for getting into politics."

"Dad wouldn't have done that." Jaune replied.

"Maybe not, but I didn't want to risk my home on anything less than a sure chance."

"Adam Taurus is dead." Jaune pointed out. "He was killed by the Ace-Ops, the best of the best in Atlas. If we go against Atlas, we'll probably lose."

"Maybe." Blake said, then smiled at Jaune. "But for some reason, I have this weird feeling about you."

Jaune quirked an eyebrow, smirking at the beautiful woman next to him. "Good weird?"

"Good weird."

#rwby #my answer #jaune arc #papa arc #mama arc #ghira belladonna #kali belladonna #blake belladonna #knightshade #Sienna Kahn #sienna khan

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larkawolfgirl · 1 year

Text

Other Fish in the Sea (KKM)

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: F/M Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou! Relationships: conrart weller/tuna-chan | maidmer princess, Drag Queen Librarian (Stewart)/Tuna-Chan | Maidmer Princess Characters: Tuna-chan | Maidmer Princess, Conrart Weller, Cecilie von Spitzweg, Gwendal von Voltaire, Drag Queen Librarian (Stewart) Additional Tags: Dating, Matchmaking, Break Up, family pressure, Interspecies Relationship, novel canon, Mild Humor

Summary: Tuna-chan had a habit of getting caught in nets, but Conrad never intended to tie her down.

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“So,” his mother began, sounding overly chipper, “have you decided on a wedding date?”

Conrart’s head throbbed with a headache. This had been happening more and more of late. If he wasn’t careful, he might grow forehead wrinkles as deep as Gwendal’s. Since returning to Luttenberg, he had been spending more time with his family, although when the conversation went in this direction, he wondered why he bothered visiting as often as he did. Messaging his temple, he answered coolly, “As I have said before, we are not engaged.”

His mother’s red-painted lips pouted. “Aw,” she whined dramatically. “Why not? She would make a great match.”

Conrart sighed. Just because she was a princess and technically a fellow mazoku did not make her a great match. Besides, Conrart had no intentions of getting married in the first place. As usual, his own frown directed itself to his older brother. This was all his fault, after all, for deciding on his own that the two of them were engaged.

“I hardly even know her.”

His mother waved her hand dismissively. “Pish posh. You’ve been seeing her for what now? Four months? That’s plenty of time to get to know each other.”

Maybe for her, the queen of quick marriages. He heaved a sigh to clear his thoughts. He never enjoyed judging his mother when she at least had tried to make her marriages last. “Neither of us wish to rush things.”

“You don’t have to,” his mother said, unrelenting in the course of the conversation. “You could plan for a year or more from now. All I want is a timeframe.”

“I think all of our minds would be put at ease knowing that you plan to settle down,” his brother added.

Why did they both insist on putting this pressure on him? Hadn’t he already settled down in Luttenberg, for the most part, since beginning his relationship with Tuna-chan? Were they really that worried that he would take off to some foreign country on some whim? At least Wolfram did not give him such pressure. Although, his youngest brother did not seem to give an ounce of concern about what he did one way or the other. His lack of pressure would be more appreciated if he actually ever saw him, yet his brother was almost permanently holed up within the confines of Bielefeld as of late, presumably in order to avoid him.

Conrart forced a smile. “Yes, well, my own mind would not be.”

Gwendal’s ever-present frown intensified. “Could you not be happy?”

Could you be happy stuck with Lady von Karbelnikoff for every day of your foreseeable future? But he chose not to rub salt into that wound. “I am already happy,” he said instead. It was only a half-lie. He was, he supposed, semi-happy. He was as happy as he assumed he was likely to be.

Tuna-chan was nice. She was the most interesting person he knew. She was fun to be around. She appreciated his jokes. And best of all, she didn’t put any pressure on him. Wasn’t that enough?

His mother smiled, but he could tell she was not impressed by that answer. “Please just consider it. She would make a wonderful bride.”

She would be an interesting bride for sure. He could imagine her standing there at the altar with him wrapped up in a dam, white towel. She would need help holding it in place, so Stewart (because he honestly couldn’t imagine her trusting anyone else to help) would be standing directly beside her as they exchanged wedding vows. It was practically comical. Although, he supposed, they could marry in the ocean or along the beach shore. Anyway he looked at it, the idea seemed overly complicated and entirely unnecessary. As far as he knew, Tuna-chan’s own family did not seem to give a dorsal fin of concern about the two of them tying the knot.

Still, in order to appease his mother and brother for the time being, he said, “I will consider it.”

Squealing, his mother jumped out of her seat and hugged him. Not just any hug either, but one of her token face-in-her-bosom hugs. She was definitely pleased with the idea. He would have sighed again if he could have breathed well enough to do so.

Conrart had had enough. He liked Tuna-chan, but he did not like her enough to live with a constant headache, and he certainly did not like her enough to up and marry her. He doubted she liked him enough for that either.

While Tuna-chan had a habit of getting caught in nets, she was practically as much of a free spirit as he was. She belonged to the vast ocean and didn’t deserve to be tied down, neither to him nor the politics Gwendal seemed so intent on thrusting onto him.

Still, the idea of breaking up with her did not sit well with him. He felt bad that his reasoning was almost entirely due to the pressure of his family. The only other reason was that she was technically , not-so-technically, another species, which was something he definitely did not want to bring up since he knew it made her self-conscious.

He did not want to end on bad terms. If possible, he’d like to still see her, if only every once in a while. He figured even if she initially felt down in the waters, she would forgive him in time. Still, he wondered if setting her up with someone else would alleviate that initial sadness. After all, he never liked to see a woman cry.

Setting her up shouldn’t be hard. She and Stewart were close, closer than even Conrart and her were. They had known each other for a long time, by the sound of it, and had been swimming around each other the entire time.

Plan made, Conrart went to visit them at their home. Technically, it was Stewart’s home, but Tuna-chan boarded with him when she wasn’t off at sea. She may or may not have hinted at wanting Conrart to offer to put her up at his place, but even that felt like too much commitment to him. Or more accurately, too much of an impression of commitment. He had never wanted to give her the wrong idea about their relationship. Especially after his brother had to go and mention marriage the first time they even met.

Conrart knocked twice on the front door before opening it. “It’s me,” he called out as he stepped inside.

As expected from a librarian, Stewart’s home was littered with books. Bookshelves practically lined every wall, and stacks of books filled what spaces they could. Still, somehow the man managed to make everything appear neat and organized. There were visible wet splotches on the floor that led up the stairs. That is where he would find Tuna-chan, then.

Leaving his shoes by the door, he followed the wet trail up the stairs and to the bathroom. Knocking again on this door, he opened it. As expected, Tuna-chan was lounging in the bathtub. Her ever-stunning legs were protruding over the rim. The librarian was seated on a wooden stool pulled up close to the edge of the tub. He was reading a book that he had positioned near enough that she could see its pages.

At the sound of the door opening, Tuna-chan began to flop inside the tub causing water to splash around. It was as cute as always.

Stewart closed the book and met his eyes. “Hello, Conrart.”

“Hello, Stewart,” Conrart returned. He walked over to the bathtub and placed a hand on one of Tuna-chan’s stunning legs. Of course, it would have been more proper to touch her fins, but her legs were easier to reach, irresistible, and she never seemed to mind. “And hello to you gorgeous,” he greeted her with a flirtatious lilt.

She splashed about in response. An obviously happy gesture.

Stewart, as usual, wore a mixed expression. Conrart assumed he enjoyed seeing her happy but was annoyed that she was happy because of Conrart instead of him.

Ignoring the man for the time being, Conrart smiled at her. “Did you miss me?”

Another happy splash.

“I hope you’ve been doing well.”

“She has,” Stewart answered for her. “We took a swim at the harbor. Her father sent us an envoy requesting that she return home in a few days, though.”

That would make things easier then. “I see.” Conrart squeezed her leg. “I have been in contact with my family as well. They will still not drop discussions of marriage.”

This time her reaction was a splish. A far less enthusiastic response.

“I know,” Conrart continued, “I do not wish to marry either.” He ignored the scowl he could feel coming from Stewart. “However, I have come to the conclusion that they will not give up on the matter. Therefore, I think it would be in our best interest if we stopped seeing each other as often.”

A sequence of splishs this time.

There was a scraping sound as Stewart rose quickly enough to scoot the stool backward over the tiled floor. “Now, hold on a minute! You can’t do that to her!”

Conrart’s gaze shifted to him, becoming less pleasant in the process. “And why is that?”

“Because she has done nothing but care for you.”

Conrart let go of her leg and laughed almost mockingly. “That does not entitle her to my company.”

Stewart glared at him. “Then what does? You’re a right asshole.”

Conrart rolled his shoulders. “Maybe I am. Regardless, she does not want to marry me any more than I want to marry her.”

Stewart looked a bit at a loss at that. “Still,” he continued heatedly, “that doesn’t give you the right to just dump her.”

“Why not? There are plenty of other fish in the sea.”

Stewart growled before tackling Conrart to the ground. Tuna-chan floundered about in the bathtub trying in vain to jump out to interfere in some way. Both men ignored her, focusing solely on wrestling to pin the other down. Eventually, Conrart allowed himself to be bested.

Stewart sat on his thighs glaring with what could only be regret buried in his eyes. “I wish I’d never entrusted her to you back at the bar.”

“Why not?” Conrart asked with feigned hostility. “What else would you have done?”

Stewart shook his head. “I don’t know. I had to get out, but I shouldn’t have let her go.”

Now they were talking. “You let her go all the time.”

Stewart’s face contorted. “What are you talking about?”

“How many times have you caught her in your net only to let her swim away?”

Stewart gripped at the collar of Conrart’s shirt. “What are you even getting at? That’s always been an accident. I could never keep her against her will.”

Conrart smiled. “What if you didn’t have to?”

Stewart’s hands shook. “What are you getting at here?”

Conrart’s voice came out soft now but loud enough to make sure that both of them heard. “She chose to live with you, right? You understand the maidmer better than anyone I know. More than me, I think you would be a perfect match.”

Instantly, Stewart let go of him to cover his mouth. The man’s face flushed a deep red. “I couldn’t possibly.”

There was splashing from the tub.

“She’s happy,” Conrart said.

Stewart looked over at her with longing. “But she’s a…she’s a princess. I’m just a librarian.”

Conrart grinned. “No, you’re not. You’re also a drag queen.”

Stewart turned back to him and knocked him over the head. “You really are an asshole.”

Conrart’s head ached slightly from the blow, but his smile didn’t waver. Tuna-chan seemed very happy right now. “Yes,” he answered her, “I would still like to see you. Just not enough to give the impression to others that we are courting.” He looked back to Stewart. “That is, as long as you won’t interfere with that.”

Stewart’s face was still flushed a deep red. “I…It isn’t as if I’m courting her,” he denied.

Conrart smirked. “That’s a shame. You might want to get to it before someone else catches her in their net.”

If possible, the man’s face flushed even darker.

Tuna-chan, on the other fin, flopped about merrily. Apparently, this really had been the best outcome. She seemed happier now than he’d ever seen her. It seemed, there was a reason she had gotten caught in Stewart’s family’s nets all these times.

“Good.” Conrart wiggled his way out from under the librarian. “I will let you two celebrate. Although, Tuna-chan,” he placed his hand on her leg once more, “may we have one last official date tomorrow?”

She splashed in obvious agreement.

The colors of the sunrise glittered over the shining surface of the water. It was beautiful, nearly as beautiful as Tuna-chan herself. Conrart swam closer to her. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

She splashed several times.

Conrart snorted. “Of course.” Saying this, he leaned in.

Their mouths met with a kiss. It was a sweet, but lingering kiss. This wasn’t a kiss with implications, although it wasn’t just a kiss of sentimentality either.

Breaking apart, they both dove under the water. Conrart grabbed onto her closest fin to make sure they didn’t get separated. They dove deeper and deeper, pausing to kiss every so often. With each kiss, Conrart was granted life-giving air as well as a tender feeling in his chest.

Finally, he could see the looming underwater city. Other maidmer swam to and fro. Speeding up, Tuna-chan led him to a large castle.

Two guards blocked the way, but upon seeing the maidmer princess they moved aside. The two of them swam down a seemingly endless, empty hallway until finally entering a room. It was lavish with a giant clam bed, dangling seaweed lanterns, and coral artworks. Conrart wasn’t knowledgeable enough to know what fancy looked like underwater, but he assumed this was it.

Putting two and two together, it wasn’t hard to figure out that this was her bedroom. And by the way she was tugging him toward her bed, it wasn’t hard to figure out why she brought him here either.

Conrart wasn’t ready to settle down. He certainly wasn’t ready to marry a maidmer princess.

But Conrart was always ready to bed one.

#kkm #kyou kara maoh #conrart x tuna-chan #stewart x tuna-chan #tuna-chan #conrart weller #drag queen librarian #my writing #fanfic #fanfiction

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