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#Tw ableism

ok I just looked for the post and apparently tumblr deleted it, can’t handle the truth (ok but who reported it seriously)

but he’s said some super racist stuff, made a rape joke in front of a room of teenagers, fetishised wlw relationships, his ex girlfriend said he beat, drugged and raped her, he’s fat shamed, called a girl an idiot for having an anxiety attack, called another girl a lesbian for having a peanut allergy (like a nut allergy, you get it), used the t slur and the n slur, made a joke about bipolar disorder on vine and that’s all I can remember but there’s more

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I was explaining to my sister what going nonverbal was and why I needed a communication app, and she asked very rudely “does that happen to you?” And when I told her sometimes I go semi-verbal, she said “what causes it to happen” and didn’t stop asking when I told her I wasn’t comfortable answering that. And when I was trying to explain the difference between “not wanting to talk” and going nonverbal, she tried to tell me that “everyone does that sometimes”. This is how I know my sister isn’t autistic, because if she were, she wouldn’t be this ableist towards me. She’s literally just faking it for attention and I’m so fucking sick of it.

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I’ve made my feelings clear on being asked if I have an official DX or not but the amount of people I see saying “If you think you’re autistic, get a diagnosis!” Is absolutely fucking infuriating. So here’s some perspective on why I absolutely refuse to tell people they need a diagnosis to be certain.

Yes, I have an official diagnosis. But it did me absolutely no good, and here’s why.

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was two and put on a variety of medication that changed frequently and always had negative effects. None of them worked, they either made me so physically sick I couldn’t get out of bed or sent me into the most unbearable meltdowns and shutdowns. I was miserable like this for six years while my mother begged, pleaded and fought for any of my doctors to listen to her when she told them their meds were making things worse, because they were.

I was literally a toddler going through horrible abuse from medical professionals who continuously ignored and dismissed the signs of comorbidity to an extent that had life long physical ramifications. I was repeatedly dismissed and ignored and manhandled by doctors who called me “hyperactive” and brushed me off.

When I was six, my mother finally had enough and said fuck it. This is why I was raised anti-western medicine. Because doctors spent my formative years severely abusing me. I cannot fault my mother the trauma it caused her to watch her child who couldn’t even fend for himself experience such hardships and have no control over the matter. She started refusing to medicate me and things got better. She dropped my toxic abusive doctors, moved across the fucking country, and got me a child psychologist. Someone who actually listened. Finally. I was 8 years old when I was re-diagnosed with autism and the ADHD diagnosis was dropped. Fast forward about 15 years. Turns out I really do have ADHD, and I have autism. That’s why their meds didn’t work. Because my brain doesn’t function the way just an autistic brain does or just an ADHD brain does. I have to work around both. You can’t medicate one and expect the other to just automatically react fine.

So there it is. 24 years of life lived and I’m still dealing with the anxiety and fear that abuse caused me. I still question myself every day, I still have to force myself to take pills EVEN FOR PAIN, I still have to convince myself my doctors aren’t trying to hurt me, I still have to talk myself into making important medical decisions and reaching out when I need medical help. I have such a severe needle phobia that I have hours-days long panic attacks if I have to let someone stick me.

If I had just been left to figure this out on my own, none of that would have happened. So think about this the next time you try telling someone they need a professional’s opinion before they can call themselves neurodivergent. Because believe me, I’ve had plenty and all of them ruined my life.

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i feel like ppl are gonna laugh at this but having a disability (especially an undiagnosed one) and rampantly being called ‘annoying’ growing up is so damaging. like not once not twice but All the time you are told you are being annoying and to stop acting ‘that way’. to stop talking. to stop existing the way you do. your presence is made to feel like a blight to others and if you dont tone it down you are made to feel like the rejection is your fault. and when you’re a kid you’re defensive as hell so if you tell these kids, ‘you’re being mean and hurting my feelings, i didnt do anything to you’, they dont feel bad, they just say ‘well i cant help it’. mam i know you cant help being annoyed by me. you’ve made that clear and ive been Forced to accept that to most of the universe my existence is apparently inconvenient. however, you have full control over how you react to it. even as a child. and i Know even at that age you have the ability to hide this attitude, because you made ME hide my DISABILITY for you. teach your fucking kids that just bc they get to have standards and choose their friends doesnt mean being annoyed or uncomfortable automatically makes its the Other persons fault, and they dont get to treat people like shit just to be left alone. teach them some basic fucking tolerance and sympathy. and idk just a thought while you’re at it, teach them how to recognize common disability traits so they can at least have the KNOWLEDGE to TRY and be respectful about them.

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It’s disheartening to me to see how many supposedly ‘woke’ and ‘progressive’ people still engage in concern trolling and fatphobia. 

You can criticize someone without mocking their eating. 

You can criticize and slam someone without mocking an assistive device they use, like a cane or scooter. 

You can stop assuming that everyone who is fat has to somehow report to you on their eating habits, exercise and health to decide if they are a “good fatty” or a “bad fatty.” 

And miss me on the “I’m concerned about their health.” Oh bullshit, no you’re not, and unless you are their physician, their health is none of your goddamned business, regardless if they are fat or thin.

If you were really concerned about people’s health and disability issues, you wouldn’t be saying this shit, you’d be out there fighting for things like ADA enforcement, increased accessibility, increased coverage of assistive devices, less use of ableist pejoratives, etc.

But you’re not. You’re just laughing at a fat person on a scooter because they’re an easy target, you’re a bigot, and God forbid they should be out in public and actually want to get around. 

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having autism is weird because it’s like

people: why can’t you do thing

me: (explains how my autism/adhd interacts with my environment and what I need to help me)

people: don’t use your autism as a crutch

me: but it’s the reason I can’t do thing, I’m disabled

people: ohh so you’re loW fUnCtIoNinG. but if you’re low functioning you cant talk or function at all and can’t spell or do anything in school!

me: No, that isn’t true about me—

people: oh, so you’re high functioning. but if you’re high functioning you can do all the things someone without autism can, so stop complaining.

me: (continues to struggle)

people: why can’t you do thing

me: because im stupid i GUESS

people: don’t say that about yourself :( if you’re struggling you can just say so :(

me, slowly turning to look into the camera:

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R y’all really surprised that the same person who used ‘freak’ as an insult also thinks Keith Haring is find and dandy also thinks that survivors of rape can’t write about fictional rape. At all. (Specifically stuff that doesn’t fetishize rape)

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regardless of whether jaemin meant to say that word or not (since i’ve been seeing a lot of conflicting things on it & i don’t speak korean personally so i can’t say), the fact of the matter is people were hurt by this and they have every right to be — as ableist things can be very triggering, not to mention insensitive and degrading to an entire community.

plus usage of such ableist words is so normalized and downplayed that people who are actually affected are often talked over and have their feelings invalidated all in the name of kpop and blindly defending your fav. issues like these (and the frequent racism/cultural appropriation/casual colorist remarks/etc) are important to talk about and i wish people were able to do it without it becoming some sort of fanwar.

critiquing someone and admitting they made a mistake doesn’t always come from a place of hate. it can be wanting them to be better and more informed. i don’t support entirely condemning someone (depending on the circumstances), however those affected are not obligated to forgive someone either. and it’s not my place to police that. all we can hope for is for him (& the other members) to be educated, sincerely apologize and show genuine growth from this.

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This whole nct dream thing is so sick and if I see anyone talking about “educating” them I will block you on sight. The r slur is NOT uncommonly talked about it is BASIC knowledge stop being a ride or die for your faves when they fucked up. how are you gonna make a joke like that on a PUBLIC broadcast and then laugh so hard you fall down without knowing what it means like 😐😐😐 this shit isnt right. also they’re all 18-20. They are not babies.

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not to be dramatic or anything but reddit fallout fans are the worst people on earth

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I’m watching a live careers info session for my physiology major and tWO speakers have used schizophrenia as an adjective?? Like they were saying how they were jumping from lots of careers and didn’t know what hey wanted to do and used ‘schizophrenic’ to describe that??? HOW is that appropriate wtf I’m so mad

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My sister tries to copy my stimming, taking something that’s mine away.

She plays with squishies and slime and spinners.

But she doesn’t even know the half of it.

She takes all the cute stims, the good ones.

If she actually needs this like I do, she would do it all.

I want to see her pound her head because the tv is too loud.

I want to see her slap her hands over her ears when the dogs bark.

I want to see her flap when she’s feeling strong emotions.

I want to see her get made fun of by someone she trusts for vocal stimming.

These are all things I do.

If she really wants to steal things from me, why doesn’t she take it all.

I dare you, coward. Fucking do it.

This is why I don’t take her stimming seriously.

“How do you know she’s not neurodivergent? Maybe she needs the stimming.”

Well if she needs cute little squishies, then she needs the rest of it.

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God I’m so sorry!! Yeah I have cousins who threaten to fake and it’s like??? This is why the gov doesn’t believe us. I completely understand what you’re going through my uncle gets heckled so bad for it. I personally don’t qualify but around here it’s near impossible to qualify and if you do the gov legit sends private detectives to find reasons to kick you off 😔. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this rampant ableism, it’s not only just not fair it’s simply not ok and I’m sorry you’re in a position where you have to put up with it.

I totes get it my brothers always complain I “don’t work/don’t have to” when in reality I legally have to be destitute to not be kicked off insurance and I don’t qualify for gov help but I’m bad enough i dint qualify for life insurance 🤡😔 like boys..I ain’t winning here. I’m here if you ever need to talk I say that a lot I know but I always mean it my dms are open if you wanna vent to just share a meme you think is funny to info dumping about something I don’t know about, I mean it it’s open for anything to anyone 💕 I sincerely hope you have a wonderful day ily 💞

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