Not Even the Law Can Help You
Summary:
Reo’s grown up with love stories.
His own is not what he expected.
Rating: Mature
Fandom: Naruto
Relationship: Kakuzu (Naruto)/Original Male Character(s)
Word Count: 1194 (Complete)
Entry for @narutorarepairweek
Wednesday (28): Ultra Rarepair Love | Love Letter to Canon/Breakup Letter to Canon
Reo listens to chichi's voice, filled with amusement as it so often is, as he tells the tale of how he met his soulmates - one as a barely literate child, and one on his first night as a runner.
"Did you really bite Seto oji?" Though sleepy, Hazama-chan's expression is curious, and Reo strokes his brown hair. His cousin needs a haircut, and he makes a note to mention it to Tobi-oji.
"I did not!" Chichi laughs, and Tobi-oji smiles faintly as he finishes off Niko-chan's braid in preparation for sleep.
"Your father never bites unless it is by request." The tone is sly, and chichi hurls a pillow at Tobi oji in revenge. Tobi oji dodges it. "Stop that, Izuna. Do not set a bad example for the children."
"We're not babies,” Akahana-chan complains through an enormous yawn. "We know not to follow when chichi is being silly."
Chichi presses a soft kiss to her forehead. "That's right. Do what I say instead of what I do, or you'll get me in trouble with your tou-chan."
Reo joins Niko-chan, Kana-chan, and Kitiara-chan in settling his siblings and his cousins, pulling their yogi over their shoulders and tucking the edges in around them.
Yuma-chan, as the youngest, still sleeps with his parents, but Reo shifts Hitomi-chan onto the futon next to his. He'll hold her hand as he sleeps, he wants to be able to feel it if she gets up in the night.
Niko-chan makes a face at him as he pointedly nods at the futon next to Haruto-chan, but she goes anyway.
It's only fair in Reo's opinion.
After all, she's the only one who doesn't wake up when Haruto-chan kicks out in his sleep and inevitably makes contact with whoever is closest. Positioning him between her and the wall is only logical.
Reo lies down and takes Hitomi-chan's hand in his own, marvelling at how soft and tiny it is. He feels a surge of love and gives her a kiss. She's his sister, and she'll carry the same lineage as he, the double burden of a line of warriors and a line of spies. He'll do his best to care for her as she grows, following the example set for him by tou-san.
That meeting was not the easy lighthearted game that chichi described tonight, Reo knows that much.
Ever since Madara oji spoke to him about the history of their clan and the war with the Senju, Reo has invested his time in learning all that he can. So he knows that the Run under his grandfather was a time of pain and horror for many. A time when the hands of the clan turned against their children, in the name of raising strong shinobi.
He clutches Hitomi-chan's hand and gives thanks that it's no longer the case.
In a few years, he too will Run, and he too will be chased as Prey. But it will be the Run as it is meant to be, a celebration of life under the light of the full moon, a test rather than a time of trial.
He reads his own words as they lie innocently on his skin, exposed to the night in the light of the lamp that chichi will soon remove from their room.
'Do you yield?'
It feels like fate. He closes his eyes and falls into sleep, knowing that he and his siblings are safe, here in the heart of their family.
May he be as successful in his own courting dance as chichi has been.
Read the rest on AO3!
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My WIPs
I have completely lost track of this so I’m going to write it all out so that I actually remember what the heck I’m doing.
If it’s in italics, it’s plotted. If it’s in bold, then it’s written and just needs a final edit.
Once it’s posted I’ll convert it to strikethrough or just delete it form the list.
Courting Culture Confusion
Tajima’s Tykes - Madara and Izuna kid fic
Setsuna’s Sun - Setsuna and Ichika romance
Home is in the Heart (of the Ocean), Wading in Water - Niko
Sleep in Seals, Wading in Water - Hazama
To Kindle Knowledge, Know Your Karma - Kagami’s story, part 1
Engaging with the Enemy, Honour Your Heritage - Kitiara
Killing for a Kingdom, Know Your Karma - Kagami’s story, part 2
Rivals Reconciled - Gengetsu and Mu
To Leave a Legacy - Kikiyo's line, Mamiko and Makiko
Fire Flowers - Akahana and Sara
Flying Free - Haruto
Unruly Uncles, Honour Your Heritage - Kana's Story
To Serve and Sharpen - Yuma
Darkest Before Dawn, The Akatsuki Annals - Nagato
Making a Move - Umino Kohari and Ikkaku flee Kiri for Konoha story
Swimming with Sharks, The Akatsuki Annals - Kisame (for Kisame week in August)
Making a Move (in the Opposite Direction) - Kisame and Itachi romance
Untitled Sasori, maker of prosthetics, story, The Akatsuki Annals
Untitled Deidara mines the entire coast of Shikoku story, The Akatsuki Annals
Untitled Akatsuki idiocy in omake style
Slither and Stalk - Sakumo, Chiasa, and Orochimaru
Orienting an Orbit, The Akatsuki Annals - Obito
Untitled Hidan was a Russian Admiral story - Crossover with Highlander, utter crack, Hidan/Kakuzu
Untitled Boxer Rebellion story
Untitled Zabuza meets Sun Yat-Sen story
Asking for Advice - Asuma's Love Story
Gai is the Godaime - Gen, Comedy
Rock the Revolution - Rock Lee, Tenten, Itachi, and the Hyūga
Naruto Nonsense - Naruto and Sasuke
Healing Hands - Sakura, Team 7 and Ino
Buntan’s Baby Brother - Kurosuki Raiga and his kids
Playing with Pups - Shizuma realises that strength isn’t everything
Mei’s Marriage - The courtship of Terumī Mei
Leather Legwarmers - The story of Zabuza’s terrible fashion choices and how they terrify everyone
Suigetsu Sees Sai (Really Sees Him) - Their paths cross, but only one of them remembers
Fabulous Females - all Female Rokudaime Kage Team in the Second World War
To Live a Life of Love - Tobirama and Madara’s Death
Mourning Mito
Konohans Crash - Modern Konoha
Other Naruto Stories
Madarama/Tobirama
Knit Wars - Madara & Tobirama Knitting AU
Madara and Tobirama absurdist teen soulmate story for MadaTobi in July
1920s Mob Uchiha - Series based on the art of @good-grievance
Single mother Tobirama - based on this idea by Madlen_Fade and borrowed with permission, four different versions plotted, running the gamut from angst to crack romantic comedy, and every one with a different pairing!!!
Untitled Madara dies from hanahaki story - based on the art of @good-grievance
Dig Two Graves - cannon adjacent missing scene
Tobirama/Izuna
Silence is Golden - Rough Trade
Death is Not the End - Tobirama and Izuna novel, first part on AO3, is complete until I add everything else...
Seducing Tobirama - Series based on the art of @junsui4089
Untitled Tobirama is the Prettiest Princess - Tobirama/Izuna Modern AU with fashion porn and shy transwoman Kurohime
Untitled Tobirama/Izuna enemies to lovers amnesiac speedrun - amnesiac!Tobirama
Untitled Tobirama/Izuna enemies to lovers amnesiac speedrun - amnesiac!Izuna
Untitled Pacific Rim fusion - Pilot!Izuna/Engineer!Tobirama
The Past Cannot Be Cured - Edo Tensi Izuna derails the Fourth Shinobi War. Crack. SO MUCH CRACK.
Untitled Seelie Winter vs Summer Court story - Izuna is the King of Summer in love with the General of the Winter Court - Tobirama
Untitled djinn story - Izuna is a djinn, Tobirama is the king’s son who owns the bottle
Untitled Izuna is a pipe fox story - Tobirama is his sorcerer
Love’s Jewelled Screen - Izuna wears a kimono. Tobirama likes it.
Hold Your Children Precious - In a world where the Senju and Uchiha don't hunt children, the Uchiha win. Tobirama learns what it means to be married for peace.
The Human Mind - Izuna just won’t stop talking. Even on the battlefield.
A Confusion of Weasels - Izuna’s summons are weasels. Omegaverse.
Being a Woman - Rule 63 Izuna in the Onsen
A World Without You - fusion with the Matrix
The Entire Universe Conspired - Soulmate AU with body swap
Hashirama/Madara
When Fire and Lightning Strike - The Uchiha are gods, modern AU meet cute, Hashirama/Madara, Tobirama/Izuna
Untitled Madara is a Disney princess - 500 Kingdoms fusion
Untitled Hashirama is a Disney Princess - Based on Enchanted
Untitled Romeo and Juliet quote parody - utter crack
Untitled Romeo and Juliet cannon era crack style romantic comedy
Untitled Romeo and Juliet modern AU - Hashirama and Madara are actors playing Romeo and Juliet
Rite of Passage - In which the only way to become a ‘true Senju’ is to eat Uchiha. Not dark, crack comedy
Untitled Edo Tensi Fourth War - Hashirama accepts Madara’s invitation to dance
Hashirama/Tobirama
Growing Together - ‘there was only one bed’ trope fic, for @narutorarepairweek
In All the World - The secret history of the founders, the one no one knows except for them
Founders Polycules
Untitled Necromancer Tobirama is working on his PhD story - crack, have concept plus the first half of the plot, no idea of the ending
Untitled Girl Genius fusion - Necromancer Tobirama, Mechanicsburg sparks Madara and Izuna (they’re Hetrodyne equivalents)
Strange Bewilderment - Hashirama/Madara/Izuna/Tobirama competitive porn story, based on the art of @junsui4089
Untitled sequel to Mulan - Tobirama/Madara/Izuna
Untitled sequel to Snow White - Hashirama/Madara, Izuna/Tobirama, Hashirama/Madara/Izuna/Tobirama
Suffered from the Night - Gothic Horror in which the Uchiha are vampires and the Senju are monster hunters
Inhabiting Two Bodies - Soulmate AU with body swap, Hashirama/Madara/Mito
Untitled Madara/Tobirama/Izuna not really unrequited love - three versions, all of which are based on this amazing comic by @kurakura0-0
Untitled series - four unrelated stories, all of them based on the music video Dude (Looks Like A Lady) by Aerosmith. Each one featuring a different founder.
Kisame/?
Sharks Hug with their Mouths - NSFW Kisame & Samehada/Killer Bee crack comedy
Blood in the Water - NSFW Kisame/Itachi/Samehada romance Itachi is courted by both Kisame and Samehada
A Sword Is Tempted - NSFW Kisame/Samehada/Kubikiribōchō comedy. Swords in love. Kisame is only a bystander, he swears.
Untitled A/B/O Kisame & Samehada fusion fight - short, Gen or established Kisame/Itachi EDIT: Merged with Blood in the Water
By Kindness and Moderation - A/B/O Kisame & Samehada hit on an Alpha - Long, Kisame/Zabuza romance EDIT: turned out to be surprisingly short!
Untitled A/B/O Kisame & Samehada hit on an Omega - Long, Kisame/Mei romance
Untitled Itachi fucks his way through the Akatsuki modern AU - Kisame/Itachi romance, SUPER LONG, the Akatsuki are a D&D group, Naruto and Sasuke are their dungeon masters, it’s BANANAS
Untitled Soulmate story - Uchiha can see the red treads that tie should together. Kisame just wants to know why this Uchiha keeps showing up and trying to talk to him.
The Price We Pay - Kisame/Itachi, short no happy ending
Untitled Kisame/Samehada/Bee PWP - smutty sequel to Sharks Hug With Their Mouths
Untitled Kisame/Itachi story - Itachi is a geisha about to have his mizuage. Kisame is the shinobi who bought him.
Shark Crossing - Akatsuki at the beach
Australians are Everywhere - Hidan/Kisame omegaverse. A modern AU in which the Akatsuki are members of the JSDF
Budgie Smugglers - Itachi/Kisame porn in the onsen
Untitled Kisame/Itachi/Shisui modern office AU - Shisui and Itachi set out to seduce the new guy
Other Pairings
Love Wears a Mark - Danzo Murders Kagami, short, only two scenes, really dark
Blondes Like it Hot - Deidara/Akatsuki, PWP, crack
Untitled Zabuza/Kisame/Mei home repair modern AU
Untitled Ōtsutsuki incest story - Indra and Ashura are brothers and best friends.
Untitled Team Ro polycule - All of Team Ro is in love with Iruka, but they don’t know about each other. Their only guide on how to woo him is Icha Icha. Oh no.
Untitled Arabian Night AU - Sakura/Hinata, Naruto/Sasuke. Hinata is the queen in an arranged married to Naruto, but he doesn't love her. Her only solace is her handmaiden, Sakura.
Untitled Deidara/Sasori - Everyone thinks Deidara uses ‘danna’ sarcastically, and that’s just the way he likes it. Two versions, one happy and one sad
Just a Job - Romantic comedy about running the mission desk
All I Ever Dreamed - Sai/Naruto/Sasuke smut
Uchiha Nyan - The Uchiha are cats. Chapters 1 and 2 are written
Gen
Izuna is the heir - Gen, long and utterly violent mix of angst and crack
Things that Zetsu Gave and Gained - Zetsu redemption angst fest
Senju Sauropods - Dino!Hashirama & Comet!Madara, utter crack
Untitled Modern High School AU - Gen, probably about 20K, pretty wholesome story about growing up, now with a Hashirama/Madara cat cafe sequel, a Mito/Tōka/Naori Much Ado About Nothing sequel, and a Tobirama/Izuna sequel
On the Good Ship Icebergs Kan Eat (my) Ass - All the founders are sharks, utter crack
Waddle Giggle Gargle Paddle Poodle! - crack, Jurassic Park fusion
Suiton Summer - Mangetsu and Suigetsu kid fic
The Feeling of Falling - Kakashi is a self-insert into Naruto, Kakashi-centric Naruto/Inception crossover
You Can't Fight in Here (this is the sunroom) - Utterly Gen. My first ‘x Reader’ story.
Untitled Tajima and Mountains - Tajima named his kids after mountains. This is why.
Minecraft Madness - Obito and Zabuza are on the same Minecraft Server. It doesn’t go well.
The Closing of Our Shared Narrative - Star Wars AU. Script Style. SO MUCH CRACK.
Untitled Akatsuki run a restaurant Modern AU
Untitled cannon era story in which the Hatake have nine lives - an unholy mix of angst and crack
The Past Is a Foreign Country (they do things differently there) - metatextual commentary on cannon, similar to In All the World
Created Monsters - Fusion with Pacific Rim, self insert.
Love and Murder - Stab happy Izuna.
The Ones Who Walk Away from the Ōtsutsuki - Ashura and Indra leave
Looking in the Same Direction - Kisame has a secret admirer. The only question is... who?
(Im)pure Chaos - based on the art of @kurakura0-0 💚
Les Misérables
Rapunzel Enrolas
27 Dresses AU
Other
All the Tropes in Asian Drama story
And... I think that’s everything.
It’s more than I thought, but less than I was dreading.
That’s good. I think.
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