#Unconventional Guardians

[nagaparadise]

I would like to know what the nagas would do when their darling gets overwhelmed, by sound, family, crowds etc. (I have schopophobia and It's really hard for me to go outside, i start crying and I get terrified bc people look at me I can't even breath sometimes.)

—Forest Guardian little thing

The Forest Guardian would be the most respectful, so to speak. He can tell right away when you're overwhelmed, and will help you get to a safe place, or stay by your side until you feel calmer.

Halloran would make sure that you were at a safe place too, but would run off to distract the crowd so that everyone's attention is on him, and give you a chance to walk by without anyone looking at you.

Rune makes sure to stay by your side as well, knowing that his intimidating appearance would be enough to keep people from looking at either of you. However, if he notices that someone if overwhelming you, he wouldn't hesitate to fight them or scare them away.

#exophilia #terato #monster x reader #naga #safe #rune post #guardian post #halloran post #I hope these boys give you the comfort you need <3 #(even if their methods are very unconventional)

[spock-smokes-weed]

Ducktales (2017) was like “would you like a scene where Goofy and Donald get to connect and talk to each other as dads? In a episode all about Donald struggling to cope with how his family is always in danger?” YES DUCKTALES THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!!!

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 #donald duck #goofy #goofy goof #everytime I think they couldn’t make it better for me as a donald stan it keeps getting better #also I think about the fact that both goofy and donald have unconventional families #ie donald being the legal guardian and father figure to his nephews while goofy is a single dad #while mickey is just chillin #even pete has kids but mickey is just chillin #mickey and minnie are the child free by choice couple we need in our modern television

[mollypaup]

Bluff City my beloved

#going to think about Robin and Quincy forever #unconventional guardian and kid dynamic my beloved #quincy still talks about their mom like they saw her yesterday #forever trapped as a child with a constantly deteriorating immaterial form #robin who is sort of a fuck up taking more care with them than anything else in their life #the reveal of the perfectly clean and sharp scissors and the backup tape #aaaaaaaaaa #bluff city spoilers

[rowynri]

HEY HEY HEY GUYS GALS AND NONBINARY PALS!!

.

wow, that sounded really peppy, heh.

ANYWAYS I HAVE A NEW AU IDEA but it has potential spoilers for ANOTHER au idea so read more under the cut <3

Chara hears Asriel before they see him.

He shuffles when he feels guilty. It seems to be an almost subconcious habit.

Chara’s filed it away in the folder of ‘facts about my brother’ that lives in the corner of their head.

They are sitting on a blanket in a clearing, near a river. Asriel must’ve come from the palace, judging from the direction he approached. The wind is blowing lightly, and they can feel it in their hair, and it brushes lightly under the patch covering their other eye.

Asriel is silent behind them, presumably watching them. They feel the wind touch the flowers in their hair, and they reach their fingers up to settle them.

Chara blinks their eye, and says quietly, “Hello, Asriel.”

They feel him flinch.

“…Hello, Chara.”

He sounds resigned. They smirk inwardly. Hehe. Chara, 15. Asriel, 2.

He’s right behind them now- and Chara flinches. They can feel a memory begin its onslaught, trying to overwhelm their vision.

It’s only due to sheer determination that they don’t get sucked into it.

Asriel shuffles again, and they feel his hand resting next to theirs. He’s settled onto the blanket next to them, eyes bright and watching their face.

They sigh.

“Something’s bothering you.”

Asriel jerks backwards, and they turn their face to his, red eye searching.

His fur stands up for a few seconds. They must’ve legitimately surprised him. Then, he sighs and wilts, like the flower whose emblem he bears.

“You… heh. You always know when something’s bothering me.”

Asriel shifts, and they watch his expression, curious to see if he’s going to say what’s wrong.

He looks…

They’re not sure how to understand his expression.

“I was dreaming,” he says quietly.

Oh.

They think they understand a bit more.

They reach out and gently pat his hand, and his golden eyes flick up to meet their scarlet one.

“…Wanna talk about it?”

This question also surprises him, and Asriel laughs. It is bitter, and Chara can almost see the vines wrapped around his soul.

They squeeze his hand.

Asriel exhales, and says quietly, “it’s weird. I feel like you don’t normally ask that, but also like you do.” He laughs again, but it’s short and still bitter.

They squeeze his hand again.

He sighs, and they watch him.

“…The kingdom was on fire.”

Chara feels their jaw go slack.

“Everything was burning. Monsters were fleeing for their lives, and I… just stood there.”

Chara watches Asriel, noticing the tear threatening to spill down his soft cheek.

“Mom and Dad were… somewhere,” Asriel says hesitantly. “I think they were trying to use their fire magic to subdue the flames. And…”

Asriel… hesitates again. His eyes flicker from gold to a deeper brown, and he shifts a bit.

“What? Azzy, what was it?”

Oops. They didn’t mean to use that nickname. But something about the expression on Asriel’s face as he shifted again makes them want to prod.

They wonder if it might be something else too, but they simply wait for Asriel to continue.

“There was… a human there, too.” Asriel looks… shifty, now. “They seemed to know me, and know you, and… it was weird. I knew her too.”

“‘Her’?” Chara questions. Asriel nods.

“I think it was the Rider.”

Chara’s jaw goes slack again, and Asriel snickers.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, listening to the trickling of the stream and the singing of birds.

“Az…Asriel, that could’ve been a prophetic dream.” Something squirms in their gut at the thought of the kingdom on fire, of all that their parents have worked for going up in flames…

But a prophetic dream…

There’s not been a Monster prophet in centuries.

(They remember from the books about Monster culture Mom got them.)

(They pored over those books for so long, trying to find a way to…)

(…)

(…Nevermind.)

Asriel stares at their face. He seems to be waiting for some sort of punchline.

As he’s not given one, he stares a few moments longer.

…

…

“…What.”

Chara can’t help it; they burst out laughing. The slightly serious atmosphere that descended on the clearing dissipates in seconds, and then they’re both laughing at the deadpan way Asriel said ‘what’.

THIS IS STILL A WIP HAHAHA BUT I WANTED TO SHARE IT

also don’t ask who the rider is,,, spoilers :P

#usau… au #unconventional souls au #AU #UNDERTALE BABYYY #undertale #rosy’s rambles #SIBLINGS!!! #undertale au #asriel #chara #guardians of the golden flowers #no context <3 #the rider isn’t a horse pun. #yet!!! #i dunno i probably couldn’t draw horses #writing

[spacexmagicxandxsheepxbleats]

//: Hmmm.....re-watching Princess Mononoke and working on Mar's weird Light abilities along side fleshing out the Hive Brood that make the area home and the *redacted* pulling the strings behind it all, I'm sort of leaning towards the wildlife of Lake Geneva and the surrounding forest/mountains that boarder it have been affected and 'evolved' by Mar's Light which has been amplified by *redacted*.

Like, giving them bio-luminescence, interesting benign abilities, long life, somewhat increased intelligence, larger size in some cases etc. Nothing super crazy or out there but things to add to the not only the Traveler's influnace on Guardian's but on the Earth itself - tbh I find it a little lacking in true Destiny Lore that the planet itself doesn't seem to have been touched by the light or the Traveler's shards. There's some but not a whole lot and I'd like to explore more of it :)

#sleep med rambling #ngl I love biology and figuring out things like this~ #If anyone ever want's to expand or discuss things #lmk! Feel free to apply any ideas to your own lores etc #whether its the biology stuff or Mar's weird light and such #I'm happy to help figure things out and make more unconventional Guardians ~

[relaxxattack]

ik it’s been said by much more knowledgeable people, but marriage for polyamorous people is more important than just representation or equal rights; it’s not just that poly people (and gay people) should be allowed to marry because it’s a symbolic ceremony that straight people get to do— it’s because it’s a LEGAL DOCUMENT giving you express LEGAL RIGHTS to that person’s well-being! it gives you the ability to make decisions for them if they are unable— say; unconscious, unwilling, or dead— it gives you the rights to their property, makes you next of kin guardian for the children you have together, makes it so you can file taxes together, makes it so you have the right to see your partner if something happens and they are confined to a hospital room. and so much more than that!

i feel like it’s so common to shrug off marriage rights for unconventional relationships or families because “it’s just a symbol and title— they can still just hold a wedding if they want to have one! they don’t need to do that to live together and raise children, so just leave it be.” but it’s NOT just a symbol or title. it is a fundamental right to be able to put YOUR future (your children, your estate, your possessions, your life if you’re in a coma) in the hands of people you actually love and trust

how many stories have we heard about trans people buried with their deadname, because the only people legally allowed to handle their funeral were their transphobic parents?

this is why gay people back in the day used to adopt each other. because marriage wasn’t legal and they needed SOME form of recognized protection if anything happened.

and, though i can’t speak much on it, this is also why the laws for disabled married people need to be different.

EVERYONE deserves the right to marry who they want. because marriage is a FUNDAMENTAL right, about CHOOSING who you trust to be legally handling your affairs.

and if who you trust is multiple partners, or even just several of your friends, it should be legal for you to tell the government that.

#polyamourous #being smart

[lgbtlunaverse]

the wangxian + a-yuan "dads with an adopted son" thing is fine and enjoyable in fanfics honestly but I think we as a fandom are really not utilizing the idea of all of them in unconventional familial structures enough. Like, canonically it wasn't so much that wwx was a-yuan's guardian as that a-yuan was being raised collectively by the wens and wwx was adopted INTO the larger wen family. And lwj got attached to him through that. A-yuan just has these very attached weird uncles/older cousin figures that aren't related to him by blood at all but keep sticking around.

Just think of a modern AU with a lot less death where lwj does as he does in canon and keeps showering a-yuan in gifts as much as he can and when wwx is like "aiyah lan zhan you're gonna spoil him. Not everyone is as rich as you! What's his family supposed to say if they can't buy him all the stuff you do?" lwj just goes "Hm". And from then on out every year once a-yuan's birthday is near the extended Wen family members (well. the ones that are invited that is. No one wants wen chao at a birthday party) wakes up to a wechat payment from lwj.

Random wen cousin number 6 texts granny like

cousin 6: i just got 400 yuan????

granny: oh that's just wangji

cousin 6: i've never met this guy in my life???

granny: he wants you to buy a-yuan a nice birthday present!

cousin 6: how does he know my bank account???

#mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wen yuan #lan sizhui #granny wen #wangxian #i just don't think we're thinking enough about wangxian as nonconventional family to a-yuan enough #lwj leaving early on chinese new year's eve to go to a party over at the wens??? hilarious #wen siblings move in with granny to care for her and help with a-yuan. wwx crashes at their place for months #eventually lwj is there more days than not. the white wash cycle is like 70% his clothes #granny sleeps in the room next to wwx's and once wangxian happens #she sometimes very pointedly goes well!! i'm gonna go to the park!! for about an hour! which means I WON'T BE HERE. *wink* #as always when talking about underrated dynamics i am not hating on anyone for writing what they want. merely exploring concepts i enjoy

[dreamauri]

Hey girl, if you have the time please could I get charles x fem. Maybe she’s going through a phase where she’s not sleeping very well and exhausted and the Ferrari boys literally find her passed out in the weirdest places 🏎️ thank you x

♪ — 𝗦𝗡𝗢𝗢𝗭 charles leclerc x fem! reader (fluff) “. . . You gain a reputation for your unusual sleeping habits as you travel.”

( general master list | more of charles leclerc ) ( requests | taglist )

Imagine the excitement of Formula 1 world, a chapter filled with adrenaline-fueled action and constant competition on the track. On the other hand. You, amidst the fast paced weekends, are snoozing around the track, catching Zzz.

Your playground is the Formula 1 paddock, and while others are engrossed in the chaos, you find comfort in the most unlikely of locations.

Being the cheeky pair that they are, Carlos and Charles decide to keep track of your peculiar sleeping locations and turn it into a game of "Where will we find you next?"

And taking it to the extent as your self proclaimed "best friend" ( he's crushing on you hard please take the hint ), Charles Leclerc has a designated Instagram highlight, just for you sleeping around in the weirdest places possible.

"Mate!" Carlos called, trying to hold in his laugh. Charles, who has been avidly searching for you for the past thirty minutes, is at loss for words when he sees you sleeping on a random table face down, top half hanging off.Charles looks away trying to hide his smile. "Oh, Mon Dieu." [my god]. "I have to take a picture." Carlos laughed, taking his phone out. In attempt to save you from any further embarrassment, Charles walked towards you, trying to nudge you awake. but to not avail. "I got this, I got this." Carlos ran up to them with an air horn. "Mate dont-" it was too late. Charles was not quick enough o stop Chili. They both watched you stumble and fall forward off the table in shock. "Whered you even get that." Charles looked up at Carlos sighing. You looked up at the two boys, with tired angry eyes. "Run." You said simply making the two Ferrari boys run away immediately, fear stricken in their eyes.

@charles_leclerc posted on his story

seen by landonorris carlossainz55 and 52M others

But it doesn't stop there. Throughout the season, your knack for finding peace in the most unconventional places becomes legendary. You're discovered snoozing in the engineering office, leaning against the SF23, or even draped over a folding chair in the media centre.

Each time, Charles manages to capture the moment, sharing it with his fans on social media, much to everyone's amusement.

As the paddock becomes your bedroom, Charles becomes your self-appointed sleep guardian. He's always on the lookout, ensuring you have a comfy blanket to enhance your slumber. It became his mission to create a haven for you amidst the chaotic world of racing, a place where you can find serenity.

"There you are." Charles mumbles as he finally found you, sleeping on piles and stacks of tires, like it was the most comfortable thing in the world. He disappeared for a second before coming back with a pillow from his drivers room.He crouched down beside you, gently cupping the back of your head and lifting you up to place the plush material under your head. A groan emitted from your mouth, making Charles freeze in panic. Last time he woke you up, it did not end well for him.Once he was sure you were back to sleep, he gently lowered your head onto the pillow, taking his rain jacket off and draping it over your body. "Rest well, Mon amour." He mumbled, wiping a few droplets of rain of your cheek.He was sitting beside you on the floor when you woke up, going through his phone. "Bonjour." [good morning] He hummed, his green coloured eyes crinkling with a smile when he looked at you. You let out a tired hum in acknowledgment, playing with a random string from the jacket. Charles held up a cup of your favourite drink, which he was waiting to give you since he found it. You looked up at him, only meeting eyes with his loving gaze.

-

"I found Miss Snooze!" Charles shouted over the radio, it was FP2 and you were passed out on a random chair beside a camera man. Like the gentle man he is, Charles went back to the garage, got you your favourite pillow and one of his Ferrari jackets ( he could've gotten you a blanket but he wanted you to have something from his, it made his heart flutter when you wore it ). Once he reached you, he parked his car and jumped out, jogging to your side and giving you the premium comfort you deserved. Giving the camera a thumbs up before jumping back in the car.Although he didn't have his phone to take a photo this time, the camera man made sure to capture the whole thing for him.

Charles' dream finally came true when he found himself taking a nap beside you on a pile of race suits. Carlos was the one to snap the photo, a picture to keep for the blooming relationship.

#‧˚⊹🪴 ଓ :: 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 ‧₊˚⤾ #charles leclerc #charles #CL16 #charles lecrelc x you #charles x reader #cl16 x reader #formula 1 #formula racing #f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 x you #f1 x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles lecrelc x reader #charles lecrelc #charles lechair #charles fluff #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc headcanon

[9800sblog]

pick a card tarot reading;

how your future spouse will pursue you and their love language.

requested by @rosearex

ko-fi for tips

group 1

acts of service and gift giving

they idealize and fantasize you so much, you are so perfect, their everything, sunlight, they don't know how to act well around you. they're probably a little awkward and have so much self doubt when it comes to you, they might be usually super confident but they dont think they are grand enough to have you so they will make themselves useful to you. they'd share your worries and take the weight off your shoulders, they'd be all over you like a guardian angel trying to fulfill each and every of your needs. they may pursue you as a friend first and you'll fall in love with how dedicated and thoughtful they are. they might be overly practical and not know how to deal with romance, so be patient with them! I guess it depends on each culture, but your person would try too hard not to be weird, they'd try hard to look cool, confident or badass, even if it doesn't fit you or isn't your type, they're just really awkward and you'd think they're cute, it will make you wanna calm them down and show them gentle love.

group 2

words of affirmation and quality time

this person is overly dramatic and they won't take no as a definitive answer, they are crazy for you and unconventional. they think you are soulmates and a power couple. they would act super childish around you, doing anything to impress you and make you laugh, they're the type of unusual grand gestures, no one could ever replicate their love for you and they'd make you feel so sure of that. they wouldn't have to think hard, they're so full of passion and love for you that expressing it comes very easily, they're incredibly romantic and you'd feel like you live in your own little bubble everytime. they have difficulty thinking straight when it comes to you, I think they're usually calm and collected and people wouldn't expect this much expression from them, but, with you, they wanna defy time and space and be with you beyond lifetimes, they live you with their soul, they are addicted to you. they would continuously tell you that you are made for each other and they would wait millenniums to find you, matter of fact, by the way this feels, that's probably what happened. they would just make you feel so incredibly loved and desired, they are obsessed and you two together would be like inner child playtime. very action oriented, fire and sun energy.

group 3

physical touch and quality time

they would make you feel safe physically and mentally, so much so that they would take you out to explore yourself, the world and all it has to offer. this person would try to show and give you things, feelings, places you've never experienced before, they wanna give you multiple out of world experiences, this is likely a sex or drug thing, but it doesn't have to be, they might just be weird or not like anyone you've ever met before. they wanna make your shared world be like garden of eden before the disaster, where you have the freedom and capacity to do anything y'all wanna do. they are very focused on your feelings and mind, that's what they wanna love the most, they would love if you are a weird outcast and they wanna continue that forever, like bonnie and clyde, they probably fantasize about running away together. the hipster pile.

(look up the owl and the wolf story)

group 4

gift giving and quality time

this person is probably more traditional, with family heritage around these things, they would just try to be the perfect partner, providing or nurturing. I think a big ring would be involved, family dinner, they would try to impress you with things that they own, their upbringing and knowledge, prove their worth by showing class and power, the gatsby to your daisy, eric to your ariel, very romantic and high maintenance. your lives are probably very busy and full of expectations, they'd make you feel like none of those things matter when you're together and your shared life would be simple, easy and calm. you may have other options at the time, they would win you by acting like you're already married long time ago. I'm really getting old money vibes.

#free tarot #tarot #pick a card #pac #pick a pile #reading #intuitive #psychic #tarotcommunity #future spouse #pick a picture #true love #the one #forever person #Spotify

[asdfghjklmals]

LILIES & ROSES✩༶‧˚

GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. suggestive comment. WORD COUNT: 1.2k words. TAGS: boyfriend!gojo, satoru gojo x fem!oc. established couple. adoptedkiddos! megumi & tsumiki

SYNOPSIS: oc gojo girlfriend hates being woken up in the morning, but her unconventional family has a surprise for her. AUTHOR'S NOTE: happy mothers day to all the mamas out there! here's a quick little fic for oc gojo girlfriend and how much tsumiki, megumi, and satoru love her. REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!

"alright kiddos, here's the plan," satoru started a huddle in the middle of the living room with tsumiki and megumi. megumi rolled his eyes and sighed, he never liked to entertain anything satoru was thinking of. tsumiki had a big smile on her face and always followed along with whatever he said. "megumi is going to get flowers across the street and tsumiki is going to stay behind and start breakfa—"

"and what exactly are you going to do?" megumi glared at his white haired guardian.

"well, your brave and handsome caregiver is going to obviously be the one to wake up (y/n)." satoru said.

megumi, tsumiki, and satoru shuddered at the thought of having to be the one to wake you up from your slumber. if there was one thing they all knew in the household, it was not to wake you up from your sleep on your days off.

7 year old megumi held out his hand to satoru, "give me your credit card." satoru scoffed in disbelief at how straightforward megumi could be. he sighed and pulled out his credit card as the 7 year old boy swiped it from his fingers with the swiftness.

megumi walked down to the flower shop across the street. he thought out how you and satoru had "adopted" him and tsumiki almost two years ago. you and satoru were still students at jujutsu high school. it was a huge adjustment as satoru and you were only 18 years old at the time, entering into your third year as sorcerers.

the flower shop owner smiled as megumi walked into the shop, "hi megumi, are you here to get some flowers for (y/n) for mother's day?"

megumi softly smiled, "how did you know?"

"oh, i had a feeling," the shop owner said. little did megumi know, satoru gojo was a regular at this flower shop. mainly because he stopped here to buy you flowers whenever he made you upset.

"(y/n)'s favorite flowers are lilies," she recommended as megumi was looking at the huge bouquet of roses. "mr. gojo always gets her roses, but secretly her favorites are the lilies."

megumi turned to look at the beautiful white lilies. he had an idea.

"can i have a big bouquet with both roses and lilies?" megumi asked the shop owner. she smiled at him and nodded.

*************************************

at home, tsumiki was standing on a small step stool in front of the stove flipping small pancakes in a cute pink frilly apron that satoru had bought for her. the kitchen smelled of bacon and coffee. at the ripe young age of 8, tsumiki was quite skilled in the kitchen. she hummed to herself as she set the pancakes onto four plates and started to crack eggs into a new clean frying pan.

"megumi and i like overeasy eggs... gojo-sensei likes scrambled... and (y/n) likes sunny side up..." tsumiki spoke softly to herself. the toaster popped up as she stepped to the side and took the four pieces of toast out. she returned back to watch her eggs.

"i'm home," megumi announced as he set the large bouquet of flowers on the dining table, "where's the idiot?"

"he's in the room with (y/n)!" tsumiki happily chirped.

the mutual agreement was knowing that the "idiot" in question was satoru gojo.

megumi took out a folded piece of paper from his backpack and handed it to tsumiki as she slid all the eggs into their respective plates, "here, sign it."

tsumiki opened the piece of paper to find a drawing of somewhat identifiable stick figures. she saw megumi with his dark blue hair, her with her brown ponytail, satoru with his sunglasses and white hair, and you with your long black hair and green eyes. underneath the family portrait was written in megumi's surprisingly neat penmanship, ‘happy mother’s day ’.

"awww megumi, this is so cute!" tsumiki gushed.

megumi brushed her off and said, "it's not a big deal, we had to make mother's day cards in my homeroom class".

*************************************

satoru gojo was risking it all today. he opened the bedroom door, the room was still dark as the blackout curtains haven't been opened. he quietly made his way to the window and quickly opened the curtains as you winced from the bright sunlight hitting your face. rule number one broken. (read ‘morning routine’ here)

you grabbed the duvet to cover your face, but was felt with resistance. satoru completely grabbed the duvet cover off of you and threw it on the other side of your shared king size bed. rule number two broken.

you kissed your teeth in annoyance and turned to face him, "satoru gojo, what do you think you're doing? are you asking for a death wish?"

satoru laughed, "come on, i have a surprise! wake up already." he leaned into the bed and grabbed your hand. you groaned in tired annoyance. he held up your body and pushed you into the bathroom to do your morning routine.

"this better be a good surprise." you threatened him.

"or what? you gonna spank me?" satoru retorted back at you.

*************************************

satoru led you into the kitchen with his hands over your eyes.

"surprise!" satoru, tsumiki, and megumi shouted in unison.

there was a delicious breakfast spread of pancakes, toast, eggs, bacon, fruits, and hashbrowns thanks to your wonderfully, talented, adopted daughter. next to the table was a bouquet as big as megumi.

you pouted your lips as you looked at the smug three, "oh my gosh... is this all for me?"

"yes!" tsumiki yelled and ran to hug your leg.

"thank you, babygirl." you bent down to hug her as megumi slowly crept towards you with the bouquet that was just as big as him.

"these are you for you, (y/n)."

you grabbed the huge bouquet from the little boy, "how did you know my favorite flowers are lilies, megumi?"

"i thought you liked roses, babe?" satoru asked in confusion as he sat down in his assigned dining seat.

"every girl likes roses, but lilies are my favorite flowers... i guess megumi just listens to me." you teased your lover. megumi quickly stuck his tongue out at the white haired sorcerer.

"oh! one last thing (y/n)!" tsumiki ran to the kitchen counter to grab the card that megumi made. she gave it to you and you swear you almost cried.

"megumi, you made this in school? babe, look at this." you showed your boyfriend megumi's drawing of your little family of four. satoru had a huge grin on his face. megumi couldn't help but turn bright red in embarrassment.

"thank you, all of you." you grabbed satoru underneath his chin with your free hand and pulled him in for a kiss. megumi and tsumiki ran to your side to hug you as you kissed them on the top of their heads. satoru bringing home two children without letting you know was a very unconventional way of becoming a mother, but you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“happy mother’s day, babe.” satoru grinned at you.

EXTRA:

"hey megumi, how much did the flowers cost?" satoru questioned the blue haired child as he was reading a book on the couch.

"i don't know, like maybe $20?" megumi lied.

satoru glared at him, he knew he was lying. he logged into his bank account and saw the transaction from the shop.

"maybe $20? more like $200, you brat!" satoru barked back at him.

"who cares if it was $200? (y/n) likes it."

satoru stopped mid thought, the kid was right. as much as he and megumi butt heads, if there was one thing that they could agree on, it was their love for you.

© 2023 ASDFGHJKLMALS — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK.

DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG

#jjk fluff #gojo fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fluff #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #gojo fanfic #tsumiki fushiguro #megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro fluff #satoru gojo fluff #satoru gojo x oc #jjk x oc #gojo satoru x oc #gojo satoru fluff #gojo x oc #gojo Satoru x oc #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #jjk x you #gojo imagines #satoru gojo imagines #jjk imagines #gojo satoru imagines

[zapreportsblog]

↳ THE VOLTURI / POLY ↲

queen of the ball

your ours

bonds beyond blood

a haunting resemblance

tangled in duty

im not easily impressed but when I am then im impressed

ending things

a nocturnal sojourn

installing fear into their hearts

protecting what’s theirs

target on my back

moments like these

forced to stay

as long as you’re okay

caius knows best

unexpected bonds

an unconventional union

the enchanting dance

the beginning of understanding

the hybrids protector

headcanon : you as the volturi mate with Cassie personality

bleeding me dry like a got damn vampire

baked goodness

she’s just too damn good

how would the volturi react to someone with the gifts similar to the scarlet witch

your end and your beginning

how the volturi would react to their mate who’s both repulsed and fears them for killing innocent people

different type of yandere the volturi can turn out to be

how yandere volturi would react to their human escaping

↳ OTHER CHARACTERS ↲

how they react to you kissing them on the lips unexpectedly

i need love and affection

damsel in distress

beanstalk

too far gone

i can handle my own

happy birthday

the end of the road

our other half

don’t mess with the guardian

a day to remember

tattoos and bar talks

descendants

getting through mama bear

home from war

concealed

duckling

papa

my sweet boy

the non shifter

cold

wedding singer

waking up

the cold never bothered me anyways

the past needs to stay in the past

a lifelong bond

not a people person

afraid of love

↳ THE CULLENS ↲

finding my voice

the storms rolling in

heed my warnings

descendants

getting through mama bear

concealed

forget me not

an unconventional union

true mates

my sweet boy

the mating pull

the non shifter

wedding singer

how they react to you getting a tongue ring

waking up

a blast from the past

little fairy girl

the cold never bothered me anyways

the past needs to stay in the past

fear of rejection

the hybrids protector

a lifelong bond

show some respect boy

not a people person

the witch hybrid and her companion

the witch hybrid and her companion 2

afraid of love

like a bear in hibernation

blood cravings

perfectly imperfect

↳ REQUESTED / ORIGINAL CHARACTERS ↲

the predators and their prey

shadowed hearts

the pairing

↳ THE PACK ↲

how’d he react to his gender neutral partner wearing his hoodies/shirts because they are oversized on them

whenever, wherever, however

the night we met

checking in on you

the non shifter

imprint

the past needs to stay in the past

a lifelong bond

the witch hybrid and her companion 

the witch hybrid and her companion 2

#twilight x reader #twilight x y/n #twilight masterlist #twilight x male reader #twilight #twilight imagine #twilight imagines #twilight scenario #volturi #volturi imagine #volturi imagines #volturi x reader #Oc #twilight x oc #volturi x oc #the pack #the pack imagines #the pack imagine #the pack x reader #the pack x oc

[sugar-grigri]

Neither Denji, Yoshida nor their author can achieve normalcy

Let's look at Chainsaw Man as a narrative whole. There's no point in an author dealing with a subject that's already been dealt with, except to say something additional: so what does this chapter tell us?

Entitled "Normal Life", the chapter refers directly to Denji's previous dream: a normal life became Yoshida's offer to push him to stop being Chainsaw Man.

Fujimoto knows that you've understood that Denji intends to go beyond normality. This is something we learned from the whole of Part 1: normality had already been used by Makima to manipulate Denji. Here, things seem redundant, as Yoshida follows in the footsteps of the former antagonist. On top of that, while Denji was communicating and showing a certain emotional vulnerability, he's being sexually assaulted?

Why this chapter? Why tell it like it is? Fujimoto doesn't seem to initiate anything new, worse, erases his own developments.

The answer is easy, and Fujimoto gives it to us: this chapter is frustrating because it consciously shows you that he's incapable of writing and describing a normal life.

The first few pages serve to show that Denji is incapable of living anonymously and incognito when his environment permanently gravitates around the figure of Chainsaw Man. Denji literally finds himself in a fight to his detriment, and is punched in the face in the name of his heroic identity. Back in the face.

The second page serves to show that Denji can't achieve this so-called normativity by his past, by who he is, but above all by the way he's perceived by society and his guardians. He doesn't have a normal past, so how can he achieve a normal present? The others don't see him as lambda, so how can he become one?

The third thing that will prevent Denji from achieving this normal life is the man who intends to offer it to him: Yoshida. In his equally unconventional present as a demon hunter. He tells him explicitly: he has no idea what a normal high-school student does. Normal he isn't, since a normal high-school student is a professional cover for him.

Denji and Yoshida perceive a normal schoolgirl, that is, the ordinary life of a schoolboy, as something projected and unattainable. Just like the love of a hug is unattainable for Denji and Makima. Yoshida and Denji are distanced from it by this abnormality embedded in their daily lives: a demon.

Yoshida's assertion that the world won't end without Chainsaw Man also loses its meaning. Granted, Chainsaw Man isn't the only one to eradicate demons. But who will save the world?

How can a boy whose family includes a demonic little sister, and a demonic dog who is both his heart and his family, find his way in this normal life other than by being isolated?

In this empty room, doesn't it seem more like Chainsaw Man is deliberately isolated? Trapped in this normal life he can't quite fit into. Whether it's because of his identity as Chainsaw Man, as Denji, whether it's because Yoshida offers him this girl who looks like a demon who literally followed orders to sleep with him, this sex-obsessed boy?

Why abruptly cut off Denji's realization that he's in a bad way? With this demon-like girl sexually assaulting him? Why does this ending seem so abrupt?

Because what Fujimoto is indicating is that he's not capable of writing a normal life for Denji either, that his writing will never be gentle, that his character will never be able to give himself up in appropriate, normal circumstances: that a trauma will always resurface.

Whether it's the demon that prevents him from accessing the life projected before him, or the demon that brutally cuts him off from his confessions by attacking him. Fujimoto confronts his own hero, who no longer knows what to do?

Make love? In a world populated by demons? In a world crawling with Chainsaw Man? With an author unable to depict a normal life without brutally interrupting it, frustrating his own reader?

The normal life we'd all like Denji to have: neither he, nor the man who offers it, nor the man who writes it, will give it to us.

#chainsaw man #csm #csm part 2 #denji #yoshida #csm spoilers #csm 136 #my thoughts

[ilovemensthings]

Nurtured Hearts [Daryl Dixon]

pairing: Daryl Dixon x fem!reader

warnings: none; fluff, comfort

As the winds howled outside the safe haven of their camp, Daryl Dixon sat by the flickering fire, his eyes fixed on the dancing flames. The apocalyptic world had hardened him, but deep inside, he longed for a connection that went beyond survival. Little did he know, that connection was about to find him.

Y/N, a survivor with a spirit unbroken by the challenges they faced, caught Daryl's attention as she went about her daily tasks. Her determination and kindness touched him in ways he couldn't explain. One night, as the group settled in for a restless sleep, Daryl noticed Y/N shivering under her thin blanket.

Without a word, he retrieved an extra blanket and draped it over her, his fingers lingering for a moment longer than necessary. Y/N looked up at him, her eyes filled with gratitude, and in that instant, a spark ignited between them.

Days turned into weeks, and their bond deepened. Daryl found himself drawn to Y/N's strength and resilience, yet he also recognized the vulnerability that she tried to hide. One evening, as the group shared stories around the campfire, Daryl caught Y/N stifling a yawn. Without thinking, he gently urged her to lie down, arranging the blankets around her like a protective cocoon.

"Rest, Y/N," he murmured, his voice surprisingly soft.

Y/N couldn't help but smile at his unexpected tenderness. In a world where affection was a rare commodity, Daryl's actions spoke volumes. As she drifted off to sleep, Daryl remained by her side, watching over her like a guardian.

As their relationship evolved, so did Daryl's gestures of care. He would return from his hunts with small gifts—a flower he had found, a hand-carved trinket—tokens of his growing affection. And on particularly tough nights, when the weight of the world seemed unbearable, Daryl would hold Y/N close, his arms a steadfast refuge from the darkness outside.

Their camp became a sanctuary for their budding love, a place where they could momentarily forget the dangers that lurked beyond its boundaries. One rainy afternoon, as Y/N sat reading a tattered book, Daryl approached with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Without warning, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to a sheltered spot, away from the rain.

"Figured you could use a break," he grumbled, though his eyes revealed his true intentions.

Y/N laughed, playfully swatting his arm. "You're a tough one to read, Daryl Dixon."

He shrugged, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks. "Just tryin' to help."

But it was more than just help. It was an unspoken promise to keep her safe and cherished, a promise that Y/N held close to her heart.

As the seasons changed, so did their roles. Daryl's protective instincts never wavered, but Y/N's resilience also became a pillar of strength for him. She listened to his stories, shared her dreams, and showed him that vulnerability didn't equate to weakness.

One evening, as they sat by the fire, Y/N rested her head on Daryl's shoulder. He tensed for a moment before relaxing into the contact, his arm instinctively wrapping around her. The gesture was simple, yet it spoke volumes about their journey together.

"We make a good team," Y/N whispered, her words carrying a deeper meaning.

Daryl nodded, his gruff exterior masking a heart full of emotion. "Yeah, we do."

Their love story was unconventional, born from the ashes of a broken world. Yet, it was undeniably real. Daryl had found solace in being Y/N's protector, and Y/N had found strength in Daryl's unwavering support. Together, they forged a bond that not only defied the odds but also healed their wounded hearts.

#daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl fanfiction #daryl imagines #daryl x reader #daryl x you #the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #the walking dead x reader

[minami-ff]

A Blindfolded Task

Megumi x Reader (fluff)

“Megumi refused the relaxation of your hold, and reinforced his grip on your hand.”

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting the training grounds in a warm, golden glow. To the delight of your deepest, hidden satisfaction, Gojo had paired Megumi and you for an exercise to enhance teamwork and instinct.

Fear resonated throughout the students as Gojo explained the rules, “the catch? You’re all gonna look just like me!” He erupted into laughter as he handed out blindfolds. The challenge was to navigate the training area together while avoiding the curses, sightless, relying solely on your partner's cues.

The soft fabric wrapped securely around your eyes, and a sense of anticipation hung in the air. Megumi's voice, calm and measured, broke the silence. "Stay close and follow my lead. We need to move together to succeed." With a nod that went unseen, you focused on the sound of Megumi's footsteps, trusting him to guide you through the maze of curses.

The first encounter with a curse jolted you both into action. Megumi's hand held yours instinctively, to collectively combat the threat without losing contact. You weren’t sure if your heart was racing from the sudden curse, or from his unexpected touch, perhaps it was both that sent a shiver down your spine. Yet, you reminded yourself that there was no time to dwell on it, the exercise demanded complete concentration.

Soon, the level of difficulty increased. The physical contact between the two of you became a lifeline, a key strategy to advancing in the task at hand in the midst of the unknown.

Gojo, watching from the sidelines, observed the struggle of every pair as they failed to maintain proximity and teamwork amidst the onslaught of curses. All except Megumi and you. Gojo couldn't help but smirk at the success of Megumi’s unconventional method. He paired the two of you intentionally, having sensed an unspoken tension between, knowing that it would bring you closer both physically and emotionally.

"Nice teamwork, Megumiii, Y/N!" Gojo called out, his voice carrying a hint of tease. "Who knew blindfolded combat could be soooo romantic?"

The comment earned an exasperated huff from Megumi, who was too focused on the challenge to retort as he usually would to his guardian. Yet, attempts were made to suppress the small smile that tugged at the corners of his lips.

You, affected by Gojo's remark, involuntarily loosened your grip on Megumi's hand, sensing an awkward tension emerging between the two of you. However, Megumi refused the relaxation of your hold, and reinforced his grip on your hand.

As the exercise reached its conclusion, blindfolds were removed. Feeling an overwhelming embarrassment lingering from the prolonged hand-holding, you couldn't bring yourself to steal even a fleeting glance in Megumi's direction. Yet, despite your attempt to avoid eye contact, you sensed Megumi's penetrating gaze fixed upon you, and an inevitable blush began to warm your cheeks.

After Gojo declared both of you as the winners and everyone began to pack up, Megumi hesitantly approached you, softly calling, "Y/N." You turned around, meeting his gaze with a questioning look. From the corner of Megumi’s eye, he noticed Gojo cheekily glancing at him with mischievous interest in whatever Megumi was about to say. Annoyed, Megumi shot Gojo a disapproving look before decisively taking your hand to lead you out of the room.

*Author’s Note: This is my first time writing about someone other than Levi, thank you and hope you enjoyed it regardless!

#megumi fushiguro #jjk megumi #megumi x reader #jujutsu megumi #jujutsu kaisen megumi #megumi x you #megumi fluff #megumi x y/n #megumi imagine #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #gojo fluff #gojo x y/n #jjk fanart #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk smut #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #toji x reader #toji x you #toji x y/n #jjk fanfiction #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #levi x y/n #levi x reader

[plifpliff]

"A new tale told through frankly unconventional and doubtful means" - Ikora

"Be sure to suspend your disbelief, guardian" -Eris

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-" -Immaru

For the Fotl event hosted by @d2artevents !

#destiny 2 #destiny #destiny art #destiny fanart #my art #destiny 2 art #I'm going to be real with you guys I didn't want to post this one #i opened twitter and saw the wave of layoffs of people being the heart and soul of the game and i just #what's the point #i loved this game and had faith in it because of these people #without them the game is soulless #and what I crave is heart and meaning #not dumb gun fighting #ANYWAYS it sucks

[foxyarchive]

Your Guardian Angel(Or Devil) P1

You're an average young woman, just trying to live your life. After almost meeting your untimely demise one night, you're saved by a foul-mouthed divine being who claims to be your Guardian Angel, AND the first man.

OR; Adam is your Guardian Angel who swoops in to save you when you need it, and also pesters you whenever he feels like it. This arrangement is fun for neither of you.

Cross Posted on AO3!

Warnings: Swearing, suggestive comments, Adam being Adam.....

Words: ~7K

May end up being a two parter because that's all I have ideas for, but definitely down to write more of Reader and Adam together if you all wanna send me ideas here or on my AO3! Enjoy!

P1 | P2 | P3

Today had, certainly, been one of the days of all time. 

It had started off with the coffee maker essentially breaking. You’d managed to get about half of a cup of the normal amount of coffee you made while you were throwing together some breakfast for yourself. When you’d went over to investigate to try brewing again, nothing was happening. If the red, soulless, blinking light on your maker was anything to go by, it was that the damned thing had died. 

With a sigh, you ended up pouring an overabundance of your preferred mix-in while eating your quick little breakfast. You were already running a bit behind. In a rush to finish getting ready, you’d ended up smudging a bit of the lipstick you had put on, forcing you to be even more behind as you needed to clean it off and reapply anything necessary. 

You’d finally grabbed your bag and were out the door, and when you got in your car, saw that you were nearly out of gas. You tried to think; What in the Hell would compel you to leave your car on nearly empty and not fill up after work? It was then, you recalled, wanting to catch the season finale of a show last night with your friend. You’d hurried home, and had just said to yourself you’d wake up early this morning and fill up before going to work. 

Of fucking course today had to be the day you woke up a bit later after staying up unusually late last night. A groan split from your throat, rubbing your temple with two fingers. You hadn’t packed a lunch, either, so guess you were going hungry most of the day beside some of the snacks in your drawer. You wouldn’t have enough time to get gas and lunch on your break. At this point, all you could do was pray that you’d be able to make it to a gas station after work. You did have an… Unconventional guardian angel, after all, so surely it would all work out…

Speaking of guardian angel…

“Yo, I don’t know if you can, uh, hear me right now… I mean, I assume you can, if you’re, like, kinda omnipotent or whatever, but… Try and make my day a little better, alright?” You said, somewhat awkwardly to the empty air around you in your car as you drove to work. No response. You felt like a mad woman. 

With a sigh, you just continued your drive. Finding parking at the office went awful, no surprise, and you walked in about seven minutes after you were supposed to clock in. Your boss didn’t say anything, but the stare given to you was enough to know that your tardiness was apparent. All you could do right now was just keep your head down and check your emails from your clients and work diligently. 

Thankfully, the day was going by smoothly… So far. Besides needing to put a fire via email, and your pencil cup holder being somehow knocked over twice mysteriously(you sent a glare over your shoulder every time but didn’t see anyone), you had nothing else to complain about. That was, until just before lunch, you felt a cramp. At first, you thought it was a hunger pain, and tried to shift to brush it off. The more you cramped, though, you felt it lower in your gut, and your heart sank. No shot, your cycle wasn’t supposed to be for another few days!

You cursed to yourself, deciding to take an early lunch to check. You shuffled through your drawer to see if you had anything– Tampons, pads, a cup, something to try and stop the flow while you were at work. Nothing. Great. You grumbled to yourself, getting up to head to the bathroom. The company you worked for was fairly small, the middle ground between a small business owner and a blossoming corporation, so nothing for feminine sanitation was available in either bathrooms.

Sitting down in the restroom, you shucked your pants and underwear down, groaning at the sight of a faint bit of blood splattering your underwear. “Motherfu…” Your grumble trailed off whilst you  suppressed the urge to rub at your face in frustration. Instead, you just made a rather unsavory hand gesture with both of your hands to nobody in particular. Well, actually, yes there was somebody in particular, but you couldn’t see him right now. You weren’t even sure if he could see you, but it certainly made you feel better. 

Stifling a groan, you wrapped some toilet paper around your underwear to try and soak up anything for now. After you were redressed and hands were washed, you headed back to your desk to eat a measly granola bar and some dried fruit, before clocking back in and continuing on with your day. 

After getting yelled at over the phone by a client for something that wasn’t even your fault, as well as accidentally spilling some water over your keyboard while staying late, work was over for the day. You were just looking forward to going home, taking a nice, hot shower, and watching whatever brain rot you decided to indulge in tonight. Maybe with some ice cream. You were once more reminded, though, that you needed to get gas in your car once you got in and started it up. The nearest gas station wasn’t incredibly close, so you were biting your lip the entire time you drove there. 

You nearly slumped in relief when you saw it right around the corner, but any relief that was in your veins washed away as you pulled up just inside of the parking lot, and your car began to roll. You pushed on the gas rapidly, but nothing was happening. “Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck–” You began to freak out, before relaxing somewhat. It would just… Roll to one of the pumps, right? Wrong, apparently. Oh, so, very wrong. There was a slight incline upwards to the gas pumps, and to your horror, the car started to even roll backwards. 

“No!” You gasped, quickly putting it into park. You took in a small, shuddering breath, putting it back into drive as you tried to push on the gas again. Nothing. You’d run out literally right inside the gas station lot. Due to leaving work later than normal because of not only coming in late, but needing to deal with an unruly client, nobody else was here at the moment. Nobody could help you. For what felt like the umpteenth time that day, another groan left your lips as your head slammed back against the carseat head. 

With now an annoyed snarl, you pushed open your car door, slamming it as you walked around to the back of your car after putting it in neutral. “Okay… Okay, I can do this… Just a small nudge up the hill… It’s barely a hill, too, it’s fine, I can move a couple hundred… Thousand…” You uttered to yourself, trying to hype up as you shifted foot from foot. After some brief stretching, you placed your hands on the back of your car, beginning to slowly push it. Or, well, at least try to push it. You were so focused on your task, you didn’t even notice a figure pop up beside you. 

“‘Sup.” Adam greeted, causing you to gasp and nearly slip and fall in surprise. 

“Adam! Good God you have shitty timing.” You groaned, slumping against the back of your car. You were already exhausted and you hadn’t even been trying to push for two minutes!

“Hey, what’d I say? Good girls only get into Heaven by not using the Lord’s name in vain.” He drawled, boredly, leaning against the side of your car as he looked over his nails. Well, more aptly, his fingers. He had gloves on, after all, so obviously it was just for show, and it just irritated you more. About to bite out a response, he beat you to it by finally surveying the situation. “Pfffft–” Came from him as he grinned, before he started to laugh, backing away from your car and pointing at you. “What– What the fuck are you doing? Did you run out of gas?”

“S-Shut up!” You snapped, face flushing warm in embarrassment as he laughed at you, but he didn’t yield. You stomped your foot in irritation, a small whine leaving your throat as you realized just how stupid the whole situation was. “It’s not funny!”

“Hah– Haha– I hate to tell you, sugartits, but it’s actually hilarious.” He finally calmed down, wiping an invisible tear from his face with a sigh and smug smile, putting his hands on his hips. He didn’t seem to be phased by your anger at all. “Aww, you’re so cute when you’re mad.” He inched towards you, ignoring your seething expression as he patted your head. “Like a wittle angwy kitty–” 

“Fuck you.” You snarled out, slapping his hand away as you turned back to your car, and he was the one who scoffed like he’d been offended. The nerve. “Some fuckin’ angel you are, laughing at my misery.” You grouse, turning back to your vehicle, placing your hands on the back once more. 

He just offers a roll of his eyes. Or, well, what appears to be a roll with the incline he makes with his head. He doesn't have pupils, after all. “Babes, it’s not the first time I have, and it’s definitely not gonna be the last.” Comes his response, and he seems once more impassive to the glare you send him before you focus back ahead. “I mean, c’mon, I already gotta look after your ass, I wanna get some amusement out of it. Speaking of looking at ass…” You’re bent forward again, trying to push the car forward with all of your might. You did manage to roll it maybe a few inches, but it once again left you exhausted. You caught Adam looking at your butt with an appreciative view on his face. “You should wear shorter skirts–” He begins to speak, but you cut him off this time. 

“Don’t you have something better to do?” You snip, bristling at his suggestive commentary as you stand here and struggle your way forward. “If you’re just going to stand there and be inappropriate, then will you kindly piss off?” You huff, looking back at your car once more. 

“Fine, be a cunt, see if I care.” He scoffs out in response, flipping you the bird as he turns away. It’s then, suddenly, you realize maybe work has really dulled your mind. He’s your guardian angel, it’s his job to help you!

“Wait, wait!” You sigh out, exasperated, as you turn and grab for him, thankful he didn’t just poof away yet. You reach for his robes, but end up grabbing one of his wings as they flared out, yanking back. 

“Ow, bitch, watch the feathers!” He snarls out, turning on you with a glare of his own. He draws his wing over to him, brushing his hand against it with a sneer as he looks down at you. “The fuck you want? Want to apologize for your bratty behavior?” He huffs, and you can’t suppress a roll of your eyes, try as you might. 

“No, I’d like your help in pushing my car up to a pump.” You’re growing more and more weary by the minute. How has literally nobody else pulled into the gas station? At this point, maybe you should just ask the worker inside to help you. He just crosses his arms, raising a brow at your request. 

“And why should I help you?” He decides to play coy, and you grit both your jaw and hands into fists. 

“Because you’re my guardian angel! You’re literally supposed to help me!” Comes your snappy response, and he taps a finger to his chin, pondering with a ‘hmmm’, as if actually thinking about your response. 

“Mmm… Yeah, nah, babes, not how that works. What part of ‘guardian’ do you not fuckin’ understand? You want a dictionary, bitch?” He snaps his fingers, the thick book appearing in his hand in a puff of golden dust as he offers it out to you. “Why don’t you look up the definition of it and study up?” You eye twitches as you none too kindly shove his arm away from you that offers you the dictionary. 

“I know what it means, I don’t need to look it up!” You hiss out. You’re almost on the verge of tears, now, as the frustration burns through your entire being. You’re hungry, cramping and aching, and stressed out about this whole thing. You’re not sure if Adam seems to notice this, with the slight way you see the hard edges around his smug grin soften some. Either he doesn’t care or notice, though, as you continue on. “I could be in danger! I-I mean, if I don’t move the car, someone will pull forward, and if they don’t pay attention they could run right into me! Then I would be hurt! And maybe even die!” You emphasize with a wave of your hands. 

He doesn’t seem very moved by your speech, the book disappearing from his hands as he crosses his arms once more. “Mm… Kay, then I’ll just pluck you out of the way. I mean, I don’t see what you’re getting at here, ‘tits. Sounds like you want me to do all the work for your fuck up.” He motions lazily with a hand towards the car, and boy if you weren’t ready to burst into tears before, you are now, because, honestly? He’s right. You’re the reason you’re in this mess. He’s clearly soaking up your suffering as well, a sly smile slowly spreading across his features as he sees you try to blink back tears of frustration. 

He finally takes some pity on you. Well, what Adam would consider pity, at least. “What’s in it for me, huh?” He leers, taking a step over you. He towers over you easily, inhumanly tall. Whereas it intimidated you at first, now? It just pisses you off more, because it’s something else he has to lord over you. You don’t know why he does when he’s already some super powerful angel, according to him, but he clearly likes to put you in your place. Remind you you’re just some mortal human in a realm of other, shitty mortal humans. 

So, when he asks what he gets out of this, you’re at a loss. You open your mouth, closing it, frowning. What could you offer someone like Adam? You peer up at him, not liking the way that sly grin on his face grows, somewhat leering even, now. “Well… What do you want?” You finally ask, and immediately regret it as his hand comes down to grope your ass. You squeak, more so from the grip than surprise, because really, you shouldn’t be surprised. “Something that’s not part of my body! I’m on my period, too.” You huff out, face and ears burning, and he immediately makes a face and retracts his hand. 

“Hmmm…” He rubs his chin in thought, actual thought now, as he turns to pace. His wings are tucked back under his arms, which you keep meaning to ask it about because truthfully, you find it adorable. You didn’t think angels presented their wings like that, but it makes some sense. “Oh! What was that, fucking uuuhhh… Ice cream thing with the fudge in the middle? With all that candy shit on top?” He snaps his fingers, looking back at you. You draw a blank, briefly, before recognizing what he’s talking about. 

“You mean… A blizzard?” You ask, slowly, and he grins, nodding eagerly. 

“Yeah, yeah! Buy me one of those and I guess we’ll call it the start to being even.” He states, and your eye twitches again. 

“The ‘start’?” You emphasize, and Adam just waves his hand dismissively. 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, the other thing I phone in will be somethin’ simple. Promise promise.” He insists, and at this point, you’re so desperate you don’t question it. You did say you wanted ice cream, after all… You’re also sure he wouldn’t ask for anything absurd either. 

“...Fine.” You relent, motioning him over as you make some room to push the car once more. He pushes you out of the way, though, with one of his brilliantly golden wings, causing you to sputter as some of the feathers poke into your mouth and nostrils. 

“Get in the car, bitch. Guide us over to a pump.” He orders, and a huff leaves you, but you don’t resist. You’ll gladly take sitting in the car and turning the wheel over pushing with massive manual labor. Once in the driver's seat, you begin to turn the wheel enough to pull into one of the pump stations. Adam is… Freakishly strong, to no surprise, and it honestly feels like you’re actually driving with how fast the car is going. Driving at an incredibly slow speed, but one nonetheless. When you finally stop at a pump, you put the car in park with a sigh, feeling significantly more relieved and less stressed. 

You get out, locking it up as you head for the gas station store. “Uh, you’re fuckin’ welcome!” You hear Adam scoff, and you suppress a roll of your eyes if only because he did actually help you out. 

“Thank you, Adam.” You relent, turning around. “So very kind of you, I would be at a loss without you.” Is tacked on at the end, and he just smirks, strutting over to you. 

“I know. I’m the best. Doncha forget it, sugartits.” He responds as a sigh leaves you. 

“You want a snack?” You offer out, deciding to play nice, and he grins. 

“Uh, fuck yes.” He agrees, perking up even more as you both walk into the convenience store. You decide to get an electrolyte drink for yourself, since you’re feeling awfully thirsty and tired. Adam grabs some beef jerky, and as you go to the counter to pay, he speaks up. “Shit, wait, hold on– I want those cheesy crackers.” He states, and you roll your eyes but wait as the cashier rings up your other items. You hold your hand out as Adam comes back over, taking the bag in your hand to offer up to the cashier, digging through your wallet to get out something to pay 

When you realize the bag hasn’t been taken out of your hand, you look up, confused. The cashier looks at you, his eyes wide, mouth agape. “Um…” You shift, awkwardly. Did you have something on your face?

“The fuck is this guy’s problem?” The angel barks out behind you, and you set the bag down, watching the cashier’s eyes follow it incredulously. Your brow furrows, before you suddenly put two and two together. 

“Oh, shit,” You utter out in realization. Adam had given you that bag. And you were the only one who could see Adam. Oh God, that isn’t good. 

“This guy have shit-for-brains? Seriously, if he stares any longer, he’s gonna start drooling, and–” You shift your leg back, pressing down somewhat firmly onto Adam’s foot. “Hey, bitch, watch where you’re stepping! You just–” You turn around to face him, but purposefully look right through him. Towards where he’d grabbed the bag, and then you tap it slightly. You hope he can get it through his thick skull what you’re trying to imply. “...Ooohhh…” It finally dawns on him, his eyes widening as he looks at the isle, and then at you, then at the worker. “Oh, shit.” He echoes you, before he briskly moves you aside again with his arm. “Move, bitch, let me handle this.”

He stands in front of the worker, snapping his fingers in front of the cashier’s face, a puff of golden dust emanating from his hand. The other human blinks, a glazed look coming over his eyes as he stares at nothing in particular now. “Okay, let’s go, he won’t remember a thing.” Adam urges, and you stutter. You barely have time to slap down some money on the counter and grab your things before you’re shuffled outside. You’re antsy as you pay at the pump and put in your gas, and when you’re filled up enough you get in the car and drive off. 

“You can’t just do shit like that, Adam!” You finally speak up once you’re driving away, the firstborn lounging in your backseat due to just being too big to sit up front. 

“I fuckin’ forgot, okay!?” He huffs out, his wings fluffing out indignantly as he sprawls out. You slap one of his wings back as it curls forward and brushes against your head and neck, not only making you shiver, but blocking you from seeing out your review mirror and back window. 

“Wings down in the car, what have I said before!?” You chastise, and he just scoffs, sitting up, hunching forward as he rests an arm on your middle console. 

“Jeeze, chillax, babes! I wiped his mind, he’s not going to remember it, why you still got your panties in a twist?” He sneers, and you growl out, carefully maneuvering to grab one of the horns on his head to push it down more. “Hey, hey, hey, fuckin’ watch the mask, bitch! You don’t get to manhandle the original dick!” 

“I can’t fucking see with your giant ass head in the way!” Your clipped response comes out, before you realize something. “Wait– This is a mask?” You’re still holding onto one of the horns, and shake it a bit. He growls out and swats your hand away, which you don’t fight against as you put your hand back on the wheel. 

“Pfft, uh, yeah? What, did you think this was actually my face?” He’s resting his head on the console now, pointing to his apparent mask, smirking up at you. You flounder, briefly, mouth opening, before it closes. 

“...I mean. Honestly? Yeah. You eat with it. How does that even work!?” You glance at him, eyes wide, and his smirk just lengthens. 

“Angelic magic, ‘tits. Fancy as fuck and cooler than anything you mortals got down here in your sorry realm.” He enlightens, and you don’t have a smart comeback for that because he’s right. 

“...Pretty cool, actually. Can I have one someday?” You ask, and he curls himself back, splaying out once more across your car’s back seats. 

“Maaaaybe. Usually only the big dogs like me get somethin’ this sick.” He responds, shifting multiple times to try and get comfortable. You just roll your eyes as you pull up to the drive-thru, waiting your turn, before glancing back at him. 

“Can I see your real face?” You decide to inquire, and he raises a brow at your question, now chewing none-too-quietly on some beef jerky. 

“Uh, you wanna owe me more?” He snorts, and you just scoff in reply, looking ahead as you pull up a bit more. 

“Didn’t realize I’d have to owe you for you taking your mask off.” You mutter out, and he laughs somewhat, sitting up with another fluff of his wings. You don’t call him out on it for now since you’re just sitting in line. 

“Can’t get something for nothing, babes. Not a whole lotta people get to see the OG’s face, and I don’t think some fuckin’ mortal is gonna see it.” He chews some more on his snack, and you hold your hand out for a piece. He glares at you, before relenting and handing you a small strip, which you gnaw on to sate your hunger. May as well pick up dinner here too, then. 

“I’m just ‘some fuckin’ mortal’ to you?” You scoff in response, placing a hand to your chest in faux offense. “I thought what we had was special, Adam!” He rolls his eyes at your theatrics, flicking your head, and you scowl in response. 

“Nah, you ain’t special, bitch. Well, I guess you are maybe a little. After all, not everyone’s guardian is–”

“The original dick, yeah, yeah, I get it.” You grouse, and now he looks offended that you interrupted him, before shrugging it off because clearly what he’s saying means something. He goes quiet, though, as you pull up to order. You get him a blizzard, and yourself some ice cream as well as dinner. 

“Hey, wait, I want something else!” He whines, shoving his head forward once again, and you frown, looking at him. God, how much could he eat? “Gimme uhhh… That! And, oh, also that!” He’s pointing at items on the menu, moreso the pictures, and you glare at him. You can’t speak, as the woman through the speaker could still hear you, and he just looks at you. “What? Order, bitch, there’s people behind you!” You just continue to glare, and he glares back, eyes squinting. “Uggghh, what do you want from me? I can’t fuckin’ pay, I don’t have your stupid Earth money.” Still silence. The woman at the speakers asks if you want anything else, and you tell her to hold on as you stare Adam down. 

He taps his finger on your console impatiently, before groaning and throwing his head back. “Fine! This can be the other part of what you owe me.” He sighs out, and you decide to cut your losses and accept that. You turn back to the speaker, ordering what he wants as well, before driving forward, waiting for the car ahead of you to get their food. 

“Do you think I’m made of money or something? I’m barely making ends meet.” You speak up, finally, rubbing one of your eyes as you try to stave off the tired ache in your body. Your cramps are starting to kick back up, too, and that’s definitely not helping. 

“Sounds like a you problem.” Is all Adam replies as he leans back again, and your jaw grits. 

“It is a me problem, so I can’t keep buying you stuff you probably get for free up in Heaven!” You growl out, irritation with him flaring once more. Asshole is so ungrateful… Why did you even buy him anything? “Do you even have to pay rent in Heaven?” You then ask, and he laughs. 

“Fuck no!” He grins, before pausing. “Well, sorta. You get like, a free place and whatever, but if you want somethin’ bigger and better you gotta pay for it.” He explains, and you frown at that. 

“So, wait. You do gotta work in Heaven?” You blanch, because that sounds awful. Great, you have something to not look forward to even after you die, now. Well, if you want to Heaven, anyways… You have a guardian angel, so you assume that you will, but Adam is hardly angel material. In fact, you’re starting to wonder if this is a test from the Heavens, seeing how much good will you have to not snap and throttle your guardian…

“Sorta?” He gives the same response, picking at his teeth– Mask?-- With his pinky. He doesn’t even look at you. “You don’t gotta. You can just walk around and do whatever you want, but some stuff you gotta actually pay for. Luxuries, like certain entertainment, shops, establishments… You get the idea.” He finally looks at you, resting his hands on his stomach as he leans against the door of your car. 

You turn back ahead as the vehicle in front of you pulls forward. “Huh…” You mutter, thoughtful. Well, you hoped you could at least be good at something else in Heaven, because you were definitely not wanting to do the job you had currently up after crossing the pearly gates. You hand your card over to the cashier to pay, and put all the food in the front seat. Adam subtly reaches for his blizzard, which you slap his hand away subtly. No way you’re driving around with what would look like a floating ice cream to everyone else. He pouts, but doesn’t complain, and you drive off after you have everything. 

The distance from your apartment to the fast food place you just stopped at is short, and already worn out by today’s events, you just opt to turn on the radio and listen to music. Adam takes over, of course, turning it onto some barely withstandable hard rock as he jams out in the back seat with an air guitar. You try and not let any tired, resting bitch face take over, but it’s so, so difficult to. Once you park in your spot, it’s already decently late. It’s dark out, and you don’t see anyone else around, so you let Adam help you carry your food. 

You look up, able to see your balcony from where you’re standing, and grimace at the thought walking three stories. The elevator it is, then, you decide with a heavy sigh. “Alright, up ya go.” Adam suddenly speaks up, and you’re confused, until you feel an arm wrap around your middle. 

“What do you– meeeeeaaaannn!” You suddenly shriek out as his wings flare, and he pushes himself and you effortlessly upwards with a beat of them. Seconds later, you land on your balcony with him, trembling, cold and startled at the sudden interaction. 

“Theeeere ya go, sweet-tits, saved ya some time, didn’t I? I know, I know, I’m the greatest.” He grins, puffing out of existence, before he reappears inside of your house. He unlocks your sliding door, and you walk in, still more pale before and slow. “Pfft, you should see the look on your face. Hilarious. I’ll have to do that more often.”

“You– You know you can’t!” You sputter out, glaring at him as you set down the food you’re holding, putting your hands on your hips. He just looks at you, boredly, as he tosses some fries in his mouth. 

“Wassa big deal? Nobody saw.” He speaks through chewing, and you wrinkle your nose, turning around and shutting the door while you pull the blinds closed. 

“What if somebody did see, though!? And we didn’t even know! This is the age of technology, Adam, anyone could be filming for any reason!” You counter, watching in irritation as he flops down on the giant beanbag you have in your small living room in lieu of a couch. 

“Even if someone did see it, nobody would believe it. I know those fake ass videos that circulate all the time online of some mysterious shit happening which is obviously just not real.” He seems extremely unbothered by this, which is somewhat concerning. That meant either you were really getting up in arms about this for no reason, or he just didn’t want to admit to making a mistake. You’d heard the phrase ‘angels don’t make mistakes’ or something similar quite a few times from him. You just shoot him a glare as he waves a hand and magics over your remote as he flips the TV on, munching on the food he got. 

“Food’s gonna get cold if you don’t eat, babes.” He chirps out, flicking through channels, and you pinch the bridge of your nose and utter under your breath. You never win any arguments with him. Why do you even bother? With a sigh, you grab your food and sit next to him on the beanbag. It’s normally enough to fit at least three or four people, but with how large Adam is, it looks like it’s really just meant for two people. You sit cross legged as you eat, another silence finally lapsing between the both of you. Adam can’t shut up most of the time, and even while he’s eating he’s making quips at the show you’re watching. 

“Fuckin’ women argue so much, why did they make a show about it?” He comments while he chews, and you click the remote to see what you’re even watching with a roll of your eyes. The Real Housewives. Great. This one isn’t even set in your area. 

“I think it’s all fabricated.” You comment in response. Adam’s done with his food, eating his ice cream, and you’re almost finished with your main meal. 

“Why? Wouldn’t it be more interesting if it was real beef?” He scoffs, and you shrug. 

“Well, yeah, but rarely is it actually as entertaining as this.” You motion to the screen, grimacing as you see one of the women throw a fork at the other. This was so dumb. Adam seems to agree, as he snorts and changes the channel. 

When you’re both completely finished eating, you lounge with him. It’s a bit strange, you admit, having your supposed ‘guardian angel’ just relaxing with you. He’s a divine being; The first man! Yet he’s here, kicking back on your beanbag like he’s some buddy of yours. You don’t tell him to get out, though, because deep down, despite how much of an awful prick he can be… you kinda like the company. You have friends, sure, but they’re all busy with their own lives. Adam? You’re not entirely sure what his life in Heaven is like. You don’t know his responsibilities, but it must not be much if he can just come down here and kick it with you whenever. 

You try to drown these contemplative thoughts out with television, but you find it difficult to do as another pang lights your stomach. You groan out, shifting a bit, rubbing at the cramps. Right, you’d nearly forgotten about those. You should go and put something on for the blood, but… Goddamn you don’t wanna get up. Instead, you just roll around slightly on the beanbag, groaning, trying to get comfortable. Adam, blissfully, doesn’t say anything. At first, at least. When you finally moan out in pain, though, and your head slumps against his arm, he scoffs, lifting his arm to look down at you. Your head thumps against his side. 

“The fuck you makin’ so much noise for?” He complains, and you pout, mildly glaring at his crass attitude. 

“Told you earlier, on my period… Cramps reeaaallly blow.” You utter out, somewhat muffled due to your cheek resting against his side. 

“Sucks to suck, woman.” He sneers, and you resist the urge to bite him. Just barely. Your glare certainly says enough, though. 

“Please tell me there’s no periods in Heaven.” You sigh as you roll onto your back, peering up miserably at the angel next to you. 

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ in his response, and you sigh in relief. “Actually, I can just make it so you don’t have it anymore.” He suddenly mentions, and you gasp, sitting up to look at him. 

“What? Really?” You grin in excitement at the thought, and he looks at you slyly. 

“Yeeep. Only for about nine months at a time, though.” He looks back at his gloved nails, and you tilt your head in confusion. 

“That’s… Oddly specific. Why?” You ask, curious. He narrows his eyes at you, grin never leaving his face as he waggles his eyebrows at you. A heated warmth blossoms fiercely across your cheeks and body as you suddenly understand what he’s insinuating. 

“Stop being so horny!” You growl out, shoving him as he starts laughing, slapping you with his wing as you stumble to your feet. 

“Hey! You know how many chicks are lining up to ride original dick?” He finally huffs out after he’s finished with his laughing fit, pointing down at his crotch. 

“I can imagine not very many if you’re here pestering me, still.” You roll your eyes, and his wings flare out in anger at that as he gets up. 

“You got no fuckin’ idea! Bitches and groupies are lining up to see me after a show, and even on the streets. I’ve been looking after you for like– What– a few months? You haven’t gotten laid once, so you can cut the cool act and just start begging whenever you want. You’ll be thanking me after.” He insists, waving his arms about as his wings give a beat of frustration. It knocks over a paper mache piece one of your friends made for you, and nearly bowls your cat off of his feet as he comes strolling into the room, although he seems none the wiser to what the wind actually was. You just offer Adam a hard stare as you swoop down to pick up the paper mache, setting it neatly back where it was. 

“Is that even allowed?” You can’t help but to ponder, never having of really broached the topic with him. Sure, he was usually horny around you. Made innuendos and suggestive comments(occasional groping), but he’d never actually really tried anything. 

“Is what allowed?” He’s gotten distracted by your cat, squinting at him as he strolls about your living room, sticking his head into the now empty paperbag of one of your meals. 

“You fucking…” You try to think of what you are to him. You don’t know the term, so instead you just settle on, “Me?”

“I can do whatever the fuck I want. I’m Adam.” Comes his smug response, an equally smug look on his face as his arms cross and he peers down at you. Okay, that’s not a… Real answer, but you suppose you’re not going to get a real answer out of him. You open your mouth, before closing it, deciding to wave him off, uttering that you’ll be back. You head into your bathroom, finally grabbing something to help your blood flow. You also decide to take something to alleviate your cramps a bit, and when you walk back into your main room, you hear Adam. “Hey, pussy, that’s mine!” You walk over, seeing Adam crouched over your cat, glaring at him as he snacks on a fry from inside the bag. So much for being empty. 

He then deftly takes the fry from your cat, sticking his tongue out at him as the feline meows pitifully, confused at the fry dangling from nothing in front of him. “Hey, don’t be mean! He found that fair and square, give it back!” You counter, walking over and snatching the fry out of Adam’s fingers. The angel scowls at you as you toss the fry back down for your little boy to consume, and you pet him lovingly. 

“Don’t think a cat is supposed to eat that shit.” He grimaces, and you just shrug. 

“He can have a little treat. It’s okay.” You decide, picking up the rest of the empty bags and containers as you move to throw them away. “You staying the night or something?” You can’t help but to tease Adam. He doesn’t normally hang around you for this long. In fact, you’re pretty sure he’s only supposed to be here when you’re in real trouble, but you’re not entirely sure what defines that. Maybe he has some premonition about when you’ll get in trouble, so perhaps that’s why he’s sticking around. 

“Why, you want me to?” He arches his brows again, and you roll your eyes, not gracing him with a response. “No way, I got shit to do back up top. I’m important, you know, can’t just spend all the time hangin’ out with some mortal. Much as you’d like me to, I know I know.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” You utter under your breath, and before he has a moment to ask what you said, you pipe up, “Are you even allowed to be doing this? Just like, hanging out? And, no,” You start as he opens his mouth to reply. “I don’t want to hear ‘I’m Adam, I can do what I want’ because really that holds no ground.” 

“Uh, the fuck it doesn’t! It holds all the ground.” He scoffs. “You may hate the answer, but it’s the truth, babes. Heaven is way better than this shithole you live in, but sometimes it gets so booooring. You guys keep it fresh down here.” He grins, somewhat wicked as he advances towards you, before pausing. “Oh, shit, you know what you should do?” You offer him an uncertain look. “Go to a concert! Or festival! They fuckin’ rock down here.” He throws up the devil’s horns. 

“And… Why would I do that?” You frown. 

“So I can watch, duh.” He crosses his arms, and you just raise a brow.

“Can’t you just go fly to a concert somewhere and watch it?” You inquired, flopping back down on your beanbag with a grimace as another cramping spasm rips through your body. 

“Not really, nah. If I come down to Earth, I’m basically tied to you. Gotta stick around you within a certain area sorta deal.” He explains, and you make a small noise of surprise. You suppress the urge to say, ‘I thought you were Adam and could do whatever you wanted’, but you don’t because you don’t want him going off on a rant about it. 

“Well, I’ll think about it. Concerts aren’t really my thing.” You admit, trying to decide one what to watch the rest of the night. Your cat comes up, purring as he settles on your stomach, and you groan out at the pressure it applies. 

“You should make it your thing and stop being so fucking boring” He huffs. 

“If I’m so boring then why did you hang around me for so long today?” You stick your tongue out as part of your response, and Adam’s wings fluff up and flare at the accusation. He opens his mouth to respond, then closes it, eyes narrowing along with his brows. 

“Because… Free food, that’s why. Fuck you, later loser!” He flips you the bird again with both hands this time, sticking his own tongue out, before he’s gone in a puff of golden glitter. It sizzles around you, falling to the ground as it disperses, and you sigh out. You pet your cat, laying your head back on the beanbag. 

“...Hope you don’t think I’m crazy.” You rumble to your cat as you scratch him behind the ears. It’s just you and him, now, and you don’t know when Adam will pop up again. You realize, with a pang in your chest, that you miss him already. What a dangerous game you were playing, talking so freely with your divine guardian. 

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