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geekedoutbunny · 2 months

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Misguided Heart | Douma x Female! Caregiver Reader

Chapter 1 - A Beast Among Men

This story does canonically follow the story, as Rengoku is dead and Tengen is retired, however, I'll have this take place after the swordsmith village allowing this to line up rather well with the next season. Blood, gore, death, suicide, mention of murder, mention of rape, and mention of child abuse and neglect is within the story, do read with caution. If a chapter has any of this within I'll be sure to add it in the notes and the beginning of every chapter.

Warning - Minor Character death, blood, and slight gore

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Your heart raced as you ran through the dark and empty halls, the sounds of your bare feet slapping against the hard marble floor could be heard echoing in the vast halls. You walked these halls every day, and yet, they've never felt so wide, long, and empty. Your breath came out in short and panicked huffs as you gasped for oxygen, making your mouth and throat dry. Your clothes blew in the wind that you generated from your speed.

Your lungs burned and your thighs ached but you continued to run, knowing that if you stopped then you'd end up like the other girl who just died before you. 'It's not fair... It's not right... Why is it, that the moment I find love, it turns around and comes back to bite me?' You thought as your eyes burned with tears.

'The man I love, who I looked forward to seeing every day, who made me smile and laugh, who made me feel like a priceless jewel... Is nothing but a monster... and yet... I still love him.' You thought, your eyes became hot as your vision became hazy from tears. 'I'm such a fool!!' You screamed in your head as you raced through the halls. You turned the corner sharply, your hand on the wall to help you not lose your balance. 'One slip up, and it's over.' You thought. Your eyes widened with hope as the doors came into view.

You picked up the speed, your feet hurt from the hard marble that they constantly slapped upon but you couldn't care less, as the doors got closer, the sun that shined through them lit up your heart as your freedom was a few mere steps away. For some reason, in your heart, you just knew that sunlight was your ticket to survival.

The afternoon sun shined brightly, and the warm air was accompanied by cooling winds and puffy clouds making it a lovely summer day. The sound of children laughing and screaming in excitement could be heard in the distance. In a large field on a hillside was a large wooden orphanage, a playground filled with children wasn't too far off from it to its left, and a large tree to its right opposite of the playground.

Children of all ages could be seen running around on the playground, their clothes all colorful and bright, and the older children could be seen walking around or sitting in the grass as they spoke of what they deemed important at their young age. Under the large tree rested a bench, it was old and worn but it stood strong under your weight as you rested on it peacefully.

You watched the children all run about, you sighed in content before you looked up at the sun, your eyes squinting as you observed its position. 'Almost time to go back inside.' You thought before you looked back at the children. You smiled at their innocence, remembering your own childhood days. You sat there for a few more minutes before you stood up. You walked a few steps away from the bench before you reached for the whistle that hung around your neck.

You blew into it catching the children's attention, you raised your hand and shouted. "TIME TO HEAD BAC K INSIDE!!!" They all scurried towards you, some walking others running. You waited patiently for them all to come, you did a head count as one by one they all collapsed under the shade of the tree, the sound of their tired huffs could be heard as they breathlessly talked and giggled.

You smiled in satisfaction when the last child finally made it under the tree. "Great, all 125 of you are all here, we'll catch our breaths, and then we'll head inside!!" You happily said aloud, some of the children nodded at your words while others were more vocal responding with an "Okay." and "Yes Ma'am." While others didn't even bother responding but it didn't disrupt you. It was more of a statement anyway.

Once the children were all back to breathing more stable, you led them all back inside the building where it was cooler, they all spoke among themselves as they all dispersed to their correct scheduled stations for the afternoon. The orphanage wasn't very big, and yet it seemed huge, there were a total of 500 children within the orphanage, which was small compared to the orphanages that held thousands of children.

There were 15 staff members within the home, and the majority of them, unsurprisingly, were women. Most young women chose to work in an orphanage due to them wanting experience with young children, there were teenagers within the orphanage as well, but they really wanted to deal with the children as teenagers were far too much of a handful.

The young women who would volunteer to work at the orphanage were usually soon to be either wives or mothers. They want to hone their skills in cooking, cleaning, sewing, and dealing with children. It was a smart way to learn how to juggle the jobs of a housewife. The jobs at the orphanage that seemed to always need a new replacement were:

Caregiver, teacher, doctor, nurse, and volunteer. They seemed to always stay open for some odd reason. The person who'd be in that position would always seem to suddenly vanish without a trace, it was eerie, and it kept you on your toes. As a caregiver yourself, this made you anxious as caregivers and volunteers were the most likely to vanish.

However, you've been working here for the past 5 years, so it gave you some form of confidence, but it also kept you on your toes. You felt slightly conceded in a way that perhaps you were one of the smarter girls, and that's why you survived for so long but you also felt dread that whatever was making these women disappear was just waiting to strike you.

It was almost nauseating just to think about. Your job was to just see to the children's needs and wants, basically play 'Mom'. It wasn't too difficult, it was rather easy. The day was usually boring, at least now it was, ever since he started coming at night for his usual prayers and good blessings over the orphanage, you've been eagerly waiting for his arrival every night.

He was the young lord over the lotus temple that wasn't too far from the orphanage. It was a good walk, away from the orphanage. It was just on the other side of the small stream, and the thin line of trees and a whole lot of field. His temple rested there, the young lord whose eyes have been touched by the gods themselves.

You've seen them, and you can agree that they were oh-so lovely to look at. The rainbow colors in his eyes were always able to lock you in a trance. You couldn't help but be bewitched by him. He was tall, handsome, smart, funny, kind, witty, gentle, strong and ever so adorable. He became your new reason to stay up slightly past your bedtime.

It was the director's choice to invite him to the orphanage, with the missing women cases increasing, the director figured it was time to try and do something to help slow it down, he figured that the man who was touched by the gods in his mother's womb would be able to stop this madness... and it seemed to have worked. The women stopped going missing and instead, the staff was more stable... For a while that is.

It was all fine until a young teenage girl went missing, and that's when all hell broke loose. The director was in a frenzy, he was worried about getting shut down, Human Resources came out for an inspection of the place to figure out what was going on, but nothing came up.

It's been a month since that girl went missing, not a trace of her could be found, she was awfully pretty too, the poor thing she was going to become a doctor too when she grew old enough to make something of herself. You sighed as you sat at your desk, the room that was filled with children as they all ran about playing with toys and one another as they all chatted and laughed. You watched them quietly, thinking of the young lord who came by every night. 'I wish he came during the day.' You sadly thought.

Another caregiver entered the room, and you both shared a smile in greeting before she walked over to the children, you watched as she interacted with the children, making them laugh and giggle as she played with them. You sighed in slight sadness but it was erased when a young girl came up to you with a young boy. She stared up at you in concern and worry as she held the crying boy's hand.

Your heart panged with worry at the tears. "Oh koto, what happened?" You asked the young boy, his large green eyes were full of unshed tears, his bottom lip wavering quickly, and the girl answered for him. "He was getting bullied by a bunch of mean ol' boys." She said with an angry pout. "Oh, I see." You said in understanding, grabbing him by his little shoulders and bringing him closer to you. "Tell me who they are and I'll deal with them." You said in a serious yet tender voice.

Koto sniffled before he looked down and he lightly shook his head. Your brows creased in worry. "Why not? Don't you want them to stop?" You asked trying to find his reasoning. He remained silent. "Koto, you have to tell Miss. Y/N so that she can help you." The girl said trying to help him to see reason. Koto looked up at you through his tears making your heart ache, he looked over at the girl and back at you and he nodded.

You smiled in relief. "Good, so please, tell me what happened?" You gently asked him. He stayed silent for a moment before he spoke. "They said... that I'd bring shame to the family that would adopt me since I already brought shame to the home." He said as his tears finally fell down his cheeks. You shook your head slowly as you slid off your chair to crouch down at his level. "No Koto, you don't bring shame to this home, I feel that you make it ten times better actually." You said gently as you wiped away his tears.

"No, I don't, if I didn't bring shame then why haven't I been adopted yet? Why did my family give me up?" He asked in desperation as more heavier tears gathered in his eyes and his voice cracked. You hesitated to answer, simply because you didn't know how. How do you explain to a child why their family gave them up so suddenly... it was impossible, no matter how you say it you'd make them sad. "I don't know Koto, all I can say, is that they gave up a beautiful blessing." You softly said.

He stared at you for a moment before he suddenly hugged you, your eyes widened in surprise for a moment before you relaxed and you hugged him in return. "You're a wonderful blessing to this home, Koto, never forget that." You gently said as you rocked back and forth.

The sun was beginning to set and your excitement almost couldn't be contained. 'It's almost time!' You excitedly thought as you helped the children carry their dirtied dishes into the kitchen, dinner was recently just finished 5 minutes ago, and you and two other caregivers were helping the children clean the dining hall. Your job was to collect the dishes and clean the table and floors, another was to clean the dishes and the kitchen and the last was to put away the dried dishes and to check the food.

It was always done in an orderly fashion and with the children's help. This was the last dinner round-up, the dining hall wasn't large enough to fit all 500, so only 125 of the children could eat at a time, meaning there was breakfast call, Lunchtime, and Dinner 4 times a day. The volunteers helped with breakfast and lunch but they left before dinner so it was the caregiver's job to watch over dinner. The volunteers worked only 4-6 hours in the day. They came to work at 8:00 am and they usually left around 12 to 2 pm.

The hustle and bustle of the children around evening was always the most taxing, simply because they didn't want to be put to rest for the night. Children tend to become more rowdy when they are either hungry or sleepy. They move more, they're louder, and they're more prone to tantrums. When it's hunger, it's understandable, but when it's sleep it's ridiculous. They throw tantrums, simply because they're fighting their sleep, but little do they know they're only tiring themselves out faster.

So to avoid that, the orphanage allows them to have 2 hours of recess time before bed. This way they felt that it was their own choice to be tired and not the other way around. However, recess hour in the evening was your favorite time. The sun was going down, making it less hot, the stars began to appear giving a beautiful scene, and the Young Lord always came to sit and talk with you on the bench. It was your favorite time of the day. You watched as the children played. They ran, screamed, and laughed.

The teenagers usually liked to spend the evening inside with their friends, as going outside wasn't mandatory like it was in the afternoon. You sighed in bliss as you relaxed on the bench. "Enjoying the evening I see, yes?" You slowly smiled at the male's voice before you looked over your shoulder, you didn't see anyone as you looked around. "My Lord?" You questioned aloud. "Yes, darling?" He responded in your ear making you jump as you looked forward.

His rainbow eyes were the first thing that caught your attention before you noticed his kind yet teasing smile. You sighed as you placed your hand over your heart. "You startled me." You said. He chuckled as he fanned his hand. "Oops, did I really?" He teasingly asked. You rolled your eyes but you smiled, happy to see him. "Yes, you did." You answered. He looked off from you in favor of the children.

You looked over at the playground as well, watching as the children continued to play. "My, my... they sure do have a lot of energy." He said kindly. You nodded. "Mmhmm, that they do." You agreed. "I'm always so fascinated by them, their tiny and fragile bodies can take so much within one day, and then they jump up the next day and do it all over again." He said as he observed the children. You chuckled at it. "Yeah, I wish I had that type of energy." You tiredly said. "I know I do~!" He said in a happy tune as he swayed around happily in his spot.

You smiled up at him sweetly. You liked spending time with the Young Lord, he was always so charismatic, always so optimistic, and just ready to take on the next job. You've never seen him down in the dumps, never tired, or ever negative. He was just a happy-go-lucky soul... Like a child... He never seemed to have any worries. You wished that you could be like that... You were honestly tempted to join his temple just so that you could experience it for yourself.

You chuckled at his antics as you scooted over, making more room for him on the bench. "Lord Douma, would you care to join me?" You asked kindly as you patted the bench. He looked back at you with a questioning stare before he sat down next to you. "Ahh!! Much better!!" He said as he got comfortable on the bench. The walk from the Temple to the Orphanage wasn't a simple task. It was long and tiring, but it wasn't impossible to walk. You nodded your head. "Mm, your legs must be tired." You sympathized. He rocked side to side, a small smile on his face.

"Nah, not really, I just like sitting down is all!!" He said happily. You stared at him in slight awe, but you shouldn't be surprised, Lord Douma was no small man. He was 6'2, with a well-defined body. He looked strong, and he must be considering he wasn't an ounce tired from his walk. "How do you do it, Lord Douma?" You asked him. He looked over at you in question. "Hmm, do what?" He asked. "This!! How can you endure that long walk after hours of sitting down, I've heard that you hardly walk so how can you have the strength to endure that?" You asked.

He chuckled at your question as he went back to rocking side to side happily. "Simple, I just don't think about it." He said. You blinked in confusion. "Eh?" You sounded out. He smiled. "The human brain is a funny thing, if you don't think about how long something might take, and just get your thoughts lost on other things, then you can accomplish your hardest and longest tasks in just a few short minutes." He explained. You stared at him in wonder for a while before you looked off in thought.

'That's true, it's like cleaning up a large room, if you think about how long it's going to take to go from spot to spot then you'll never want to finish the job, making you abandon it. However, if you get your thoughts lost on other things then you can finish the job quicker and more easily... it's honestly foolproof, but how do you train yourself to just automatically get lost in thought whenever you're busy?' You thought to yourself.

A hand lightly yet heavily slapped you on your forehead making you jolt back in shock. "AH!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?" You shouted as you held your forehead. "Haha!! You think too much!! That's your problem!!" He said, you looked up at him in confusion. "To have peace of mind and to have easily flowing thoughts, you have to accept the flow of life." He explained. You stared at him in constant confusion. "But I do already accept the flow of life. We live and we die, it is a cycle." You explained your hands removing from your forehead.

He smiled at you before he looked over at the children. "Look at the children, they've already mastered the flow of life without even realizing it." He said you blinked in confusion before you looked over at the children. "Children are simple-minded, they don't have any issues so of course they can easily have thoughts to get lost in." You said. He shook his head. "Children are much smarter than you think, in fact, they'll escape a situation much faster than you... Say, if there was a killer on the loose, and you and a child got cornered, the child would easily slip out faster than you, simply because they don't allow their minds to get clouded with constant what ifs and instead they just do it."

He said, a peaceful smile on his face as he watched the children run about. You stared at the children, thinking over his words. 'That's true, I would be too busy thinking about how to escape and what if it doesn't work. I'll be busy thinking about how to save the kid and myself.' You thought. "Children have mastered the flow of life, simply by not thinking about it at all, they know that humans live and die, they're very aware of it, but they don't care. They don't think about any of that, they just simply live."

"They're in the present and not the future or the past. It just simply doesn't exist to them, so when they're faced with a challenge that seems like it's going to take forever, they can handle it much faster than you. They'll complain and mope and cry but once they've gotten over it, they just focus on the present. They'll start off crying about the past, saying "I was playing tag and I want to continue to do so." Then they'll focus on the future and say. "I want to go and get ice cream, or play hide n go seek." lastly they'll focus on the present. "I gotta finish this job and then I can go play more!!" The flow of life is a funny thing as it only isn't just life and death but it's also everyday tasks. Everything has a past, present, and future, and as long as you focus on the present you can get through it faster." He explained.

You blinked as you stared up at him in awe, you never thought of it that way. The fact that everything has a past, present, and future. It's never dawned on you. "Wow, no wonder why they call you Sage of the Lotus." You said aloud to yourself. He chuckled at the title. "Yes, I can see why they would say such things, but that type of mindset isn't easy to obtain, you have to break yourself from your worldly desires at that moment and become one-track-minded, which isn't very easy. Humans get sucked into their lives so easily that they forget to take time out and notice the small things that once mattered." He said.

You stared at him in thought before you looked off. 'The small things that once mattered... Have I forgotten things that once mattered to me too?' You thought to yourself as the sound of the children having fun became the only sound in the area.

The Orphanage was dark and quiet, all the children and staff were in their beds asleep. A door creaked open, allowing the soft glow of a candle to leak out into the dark hall. Following the glow, out came two young women, both members of staff. One was a caregiver and the other was a teacher. They were both dressed in their nightwear, and they chit-chatted softly to one another as they walked the halls, it was the staff's duty to walk the halls every hour and to check up on the children, it used to be a single man's job but with the high amount of young women going missing, it became a two-man assignment.

"It's so chilly." The caregiver said as she walked behind the teacher rubbing her arms as she tried to warm herself up. Her hair was in a short black bob, her eyes wide and blue. The teacher rolled her eyes as she smiled. "It's not that cold Kiyomi, you're just fragile is all." She responded. Her hair was slightly longer, also black, her eyes more narrow and brown. Kiyomi pouted. "I'm not fragile, you're just old and tough." She childishly retorted. The teacher rolled her eyes but said nothing in return.

They walked the halls silently for a moment before they turned down the children's hall, there were multiple doors on each side, each housing different age groups of children. The younger children between the ages of 1 - 3 were housed with an adult, the children from ages 4 - 9 were housed with a young adolescent teen who was close to adulthood, and lastly, the children who were ages 12 - 18 were able to watch over themselves. Gender separation didn't play a role until the ages of 12 - 18, before that all boys and girls could sleep in the same room.

12 - 18 is where the women were going as they didn't have an adult in the room with them who could help if something were to go wrong. Most of the 18 - 17-year-olds were all stationed with the children who were 4 - 9, so really it was 12 - 16. They walked down the halls, opening doors to the teen's rooms as they checked in on them. The nightly visits were to make sure that the children were in bed and not up goofing around or off in another room, but recently it has been more of making sure there wasn't an unwanted visitor in the girl's room.

Ever since the one young girl went missing, nightly visits have increased from every 4 hours to every hour, meaning two women must wake up every hour and check up on them. The two women were halfway through the check-up when Kiyomi suddenly grabbed the teacher's nightwear from behind in a desperate and frightened grasp as she pulled the teacher to a halt. "Wait, Natska, did you hear that?" Kiyomi whispered in fear as she looked around. Natska looked around unbothered. "No, what did you hear?" She asked calmly.

Kiyomi's eyes bounced frantically before she answered. "It sounded like something tapping." She responded. Natska sighed. "If by tapping, you mean your own footsteps?" She asked unamused. Kiyomi shook her head. "No, not that, it was louder, and out of tune with our own footsteps." She said. Natska shook her head. "You're just paranoid is all, we're fine as long as we stick together." She said. Kiyomi remained silent so Natska took that as a sign to continue walking.

They walked a few more steps before the tapping was more audible and Natska stopped first this time, the frightened Kiyomi stopped on a dime as she stared unblinkingly at the back of Natska's head. "Okay, that's definitely not us." Natska said as she looked around cautiously. Kiyomi gulped loudly in fear. "Do you think it's the kidnapper?" She whispered. Natska shook her head. "No, it's probably some idiot who doesn't know how to sneak around." She said in an irritated voice. Kiyomi stared up at Natska for a moment before she looked around.

They stayed still for a moment before Natska sighed in annoyance and she continued walking, Kiyomi followed behind as she held onto Natska's clothes tightly. Natska sighed in annoyance before she came to a stop. "You're going to leave wrinkles in my shirt if you keep squeezing it like that." She said in slight anger as she glared down at Kiyomi over her shoulder. Kiyomi stared at Natska in fear and guilt. "I'm sorry Natska, I'm just really really nervous." She said in a hushed voice. Natska looked away from her as she stared ahead of herself.

"You've no need to be afraid, it's painless and happens within the blink of an eye." She said, her own deep feminine voice was suddenly deep and smooth, sounding like a man. Kiyomi slowly looked up at Natska in confusion as she tried to process what she just heard but before she could, her world turned sideways, she blinked and in the next second she could see her vision bouncing away from Natska before she saw the floor, the ceiling, the wall, and finally Natska once more as she slowed to a stop. Her eyes widened slightly as her brain began shutting down, nothing was making sense anymore as she watched Natska's eyes turn blood red, she could see her own headless body behind Natska, stagger a bit before it fell to the ground lifeless.

Her world began to go dark as she saw another tall figure approaching Natska from behind, she wanted to warn Nastka of the approaching danger but her world turned dark forever before she could. Natska looked over her shoulder at the tall figure, veins bulging out on the sides of her face and neck as she glared at the figure. "What took you so long to kill that girl, Douma? I shouldn't have had to deal with her pathetic wines." Natska demanded and complained. "Sorry Lord Muzan, I'm so used to playing cat and mouse, plus she was far too scared to just kill on the spot, I like to watch them squirm." He said, his voice carefree and happy-go-lucky as he bent down to pick up the girl's headless body.

Muzan watched Douma's every move with an annoyed stare. "I'm tempted to get rid of you, you're getting on my nerves with your childish games." He threatened. Douma held the girl's headless body like a dance partner as he swung her around in glee as he stared at Muzan with an apologetic stare. "Oh please forgive me Lord Muzan, I'm so sorry that I like to play with my food, I do however feel so honored that you wanted to tag along with me on this venture. If it pleases you, I could rip off my head and give it to you on a platter."

He apologized as he tried to please his Lord with an offering. Muzan stared him down with disgust. "Keep your worthless head, it's already not doing me any good as it is now." He fired, Douma smiled carelessly as he bowed his head. "Understood, My Lord." He said. Muzan stared at Douma a while longer before he blinked and his eyes went back brown but still unkind and the veins left. "I expect for you to have that child in your care within the next few days, am I understood?" He demanded as his voice slowly went back to a woman's voice.

Douma smiled, unbothered by the change as he bowed down deeply to his Lord. "Yes Lord Muzan, I won't fail you." He promised in glee. Muzan stared at him a little longer before he turned around. "I don't expect failure, and clean this mess up." He ordered as he walked away to continue the nightly protocol. Douma watched as his Lord walked away for a moment before he looked down at the blood, the body, and the head. "Man, why do I have to clean it up? I wasn't the one who killed her anyway." He pouted as he frowned down at the mess.

A gleeful smile replaced his pout soon after. "Oh well, at least I can boast about how Lord Muzan killed a human for me and not the others, that surely means he favors me more." He proudly said as he moved to clean the mess.

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