#Valdo (hears Geralt and immediately realizes that this is the most incredible opportunity that has ever been bestowed upon him):

[jaskiersbrokenlute]

Ok but once Lambert and Eskel manage to get Geralt drunk enough to tell them exactly what happened with Jaskier they both immediately know what has to be done.

And since Lambert's involved the plan becomes a scheme, which becomes a wager.

Eskel and Lambert are both going to spend the season looking for the bard and whoever finds him brings him to Kaer Morhen and claims victory (and if it makes Geralt's winter a live-in intervention than it's just an added bonus)

The only problem is that Geralt was never very forth coming on what exactly Jaskier looks like outside of his apparent eye-sore of a fashion sense (And sure, Geralts one to talk), and even with his growing renoun, neither of the other wolves have met him.

So the path has become a wild goose chase / bard hunt. (They both learn pretty quick that a process of elimination can be applied where they sorta just silently approach any over-dressed- lute-baring bard and wait for the smell of fear to tell them this is not the bard they're looking for)

When winter rolls around, both Eskel and Lambert return with a bard in tow.

Eskel with Jaskier and Lambert with Valdo Marx.

#Lambert (not smelling fear on this peacock of a man): You're the bard right? #Valdo:... Yes #absolutely I am THE bard ;) #Lambert: Perfect you're coming with me I will not lose to Eskel or miss the chance to fuck with Geralt #Valdo (hears Geralt and immediately realizes that this is the most incredible opportunity that has ever been bestowed upon him): #Let me grab my coat #and of course Valdo knows Jaskier well enough to do a convincing impression #especially since Lambert only knows him through others #Eskel: He's blonde and has a moustache that looks nothing like Jaskier???? #Lambert: Hey he just went through a messy break up maybe he re-invented himself #Jaskier; dressed like rock and roll rumplestilsken: ... he has a point #jaskier #the witcher #geralt #geralt of rivia #lambert #eskel #the witcher crack #incorrect witcher #valdo marx #season 2: hunt for the bard #witcher headcanon #the witcher netflix #oh no lute is writing #oh no lute is speaking