I don't have any friends in DC, Mom. They all call me a dick behind my back. But, like, right behind my back so I can hear them.
Jonah
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Wei Wuxian: Where is everyone?
Lan Sizhui: Jin Ling had a nervous collapse, Huanguang-jun is taking him to the hospital, Zizhen went back to bed, The Grandmaster is yelling at Jingyi, and I'm in charge.
Wei Wuxian: Fuck.
Lan Sizhui: I know right?
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Claire: No, I do not need to see a doctor. I'm a doctor, and I diagnosed myself with an acute case of "everything's fine."
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Strange: The only unthinkable thing is that anything is unthinkable.
Tony: [to Steve and Bucky] Strange majored in fortune cookies.
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Demencia, sees an angry, glowing GoldHeart flying full speed ahead towards the hat-ship with the sirens blaring: Flug! We’ve got a big problem!
Flug, sighs: We should copyright that phrase...
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Original
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Astarion, upon finding out about all the powers the tadpole can give him: I do not need to be cured. I diagnosed myself with an acute case of ‘everything’s fine.’
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Peter: Y/N, if anyone asks for me, I've gone outside to scream into the night.
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Bellatrix: If anyone needs me, I've gone outside to scream into the night
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Gary: You're not gonna believe this. 'Selina' is on next year's list of hurricanes.
Selina: Oh, shit! What if it hits and we get headlines saying "Selina Causing Large-Scale Devastation"?
Amy: People won't equate you with a natural disaster, ma'am.
Selina: Really, Amy? 'Cause I've met people, okay? Real people, and I gotta tell you, a lot of them are fucking idiots.
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Loki + Veep [29/?]
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albert: i have a better idea!
crutchie: no, you don’t, albert. history has proven that.
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Claire: Jamie, if anybody asks for me, I've gone outside to scream into the night.
Jamie: Okay. Have one for me, too.
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Miles: What do you think of Damian?
Hobie: Oh, Robin is a shit.
Miles: …Could you expand on that?
Hobie: Sure. He's a massive and total shit. When you first meet him, you think, surely to God this kid can't be as big a shit as he seems. But he is.
Miles: See, I-
Hobie: 'Cause like if there were a book with covers made of shit, you'd think, "That's intriguing. I wonder what's in this book that they saw fit to give it covers made of pure shit." And then you open it and… *shrugs* shit.
Miles:
Miles: I think he’s OK.
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