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incorrectbatfam · 10 months

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The Waynes are asked who they think Batman is. What do they say

Vicky Vale: Who do you think is the Batman?

Dick: Superman doing a bit.

Jason: A coward.

Tim: He escaped from Area 51.

Damian: A being beyond our mortal comprehension.

Duke: A bat who was bitten by a radioactive man.

Cullen: Your mom lol.

Stephanie: Slice into him, he's cake.

Cassandra, whispering: You see him too??

Barbara: I think you already know.

Harper: In my experience, only a billionaire would jump from a skyscraper in a fursuit.

Carrie: Santa——he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good.

Kate: You still believe in Batman? What are you, six?

Alfred: I haven't the faintest clue *wink wink*

Selina: Who's Batman?

Bruce, completely deadpan: Me.

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iguessthisisanewobsession · 1 year

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Bruce Wayne Says ‘Never Too Old For Uppies’

Darling billionaire and former Gotham heartthrob turn DILF Bruce Wayne was spotted at his latest Gala wearing the latest season’s top designer suit.

This is of its self wasn’t surprising but the scene that unfolded sure was!

Now it isn’t a surprise for anyone who has been keeping track of the posts and polls about the most attractive men in America that Mr. Winner of 3 years in a row is quite ripped under all those layers he usually wears and when asked why he exercises to such a degree that it could rival the big bat, Mr. Wayne seemed to fumble for a bit before responding with a dazzling smile that he does so that he could carry all of his children.

Another reporter made comment about how all of his children were well past the age of being picked up.

Mr. Wayne proceed to state quite seriously to the reporter,

“They’re never too old for uppies.”

Apparently Mr. Wayne’s two eldest sons had heard their father’s statement as they shared a look before taking a running leap towards their dad with Dick Grayson Wayne bellowing “uppies!” In response.

Mr. Wayne, despite his well known clumsiness, caught both of his sons with a spin before calmly stating to the reporters that he had guests to talk to and then walked away with one boy sitting on each hip.

And let us remind our readers that neither men Mr. Wayne caught weigh less than an estimated 170 lbs!

The rest of the gala had our reporters spotting Mr. Wayne carrying his various children in various ways.

Message was well received, Kids are never too old for uppies, just too heavy!

But nothing less can be expected from the dad of the year.

Though, he may have competition here in Gotham, as eye witnesses have stated that they had seen our own Big Bat taking after our resident rich man.

But who can say? Maybe the two have a closer relationship than we know.

It had been stated that both Bruce Wayne and Batman have a similar physique to each-other with Batman being just slightly larger in size.

Maybe they share a workout routine?

We can only speculate.

What we can be sure of, is that Bruce loves his kids and would be willing to do anything to make them smile.

As always I am Vicky Vale.

*there are two photos shown along with the article. One of Bruce Wayne carting a staggering number of his children. With Cassandra and Damian Wayne on his shoulders, Dick Grayson Wayne and Jason Todd under each arm and Tim Drake Wayne clinging onto his front like a koala. It is noted that Duke Thomas is to the side seemingly recording the entire scene.

The second photo is of Batman with an annoyed Red Hood slung over his shoulder, trying to get loose.”

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atomic-chronoscaph · 6 months

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Batman (1989)

#batman 89 #vintage lobby cards #tim burton #michael keaton #jack nicholson #kim basinger #bruce wayne #the joker #vicky vale #superhero movies #dc comics #80s movies #1980s #1989

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momachan · 17 days

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Batman: The Audio Adventures (2022).

#dc comics #batman #the audio adventures #dc covers #dc art #bruce wayne #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #dc robin #the joker #the scarecrow #the penguin #killer croc #the riddler #miss tuesday #catwoman #vicky vale #jim gordon #two face

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goldenvulpine · 9 months

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MAWS saying Lois Lane was inspired by Vicky Vale is like saying Micheal Jackson was inspired by Justin Timberlake to make music.

#my adventures with superman #superman #clark kent #lex luthor #lois lane #vicky vale #dick grayson #ben barnes #dc comics #kal el #fantasy #science fiction #damien wayne #jason todd #tim drake #jimmy olsen

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crybabylulu · 9 months

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Pt 17 this is correct and no I will not take criticism

*Wayne Gala time*

Jason: I hate this shit

Tim: me too

Jason: I change my mind I love this shit

Tim: wtf?

Jason: I don’t wanna share the same opinions or feelings as you

Tim: fuck you

Jason: *sees Vicky Vale talking to Lucy*

Vicky: so Lucy you stole a car to go see the Barbie movie?

Lucy: well actually

Bruce: *comes tf outta no where and grabs Lucy’s shoulders* no comment Vicky

Vicky: are you sure you don’t want to address your children stealing a car? And Bruce may I even ask what were you thinking by taking in Harley Quinn’s daughter? I mea-

Talia: do you not understand what no comment means? *holding a blade in her purse*

Lucy: you wanna talk about my son?

Bruce & Talia: *sighs knowing Vicky is gonna run with the story of Lucy having an actual child when she’s just talking about her cat*

Vicky: son? Whose the father?

Lucy: oh d-

Talia: *covers Lucy’s mouth* enough out of you young lady. Run along *pushes Lucy towards Cass*

*bonus*

*some of the children watching the news*

Vicky: good morning everyone! My name is Vicky Vale and I’ve got exciting news! Lucy Quinn has welcomed a lovely baby boy! I’m not sure who the father is but let’s send her lots of love

Lucy: Mr. Chuckles they’re talking about you baby! *holding her cat up to the tv*

Barbara: this is why I tell you all to tell me when you say stupid shit so I can start scrubbing shit off the internet before it goes big! *stressed asf*

Damian: HEY! IM THE FATHER! HES MY CAT AS WELL!

Barbara: SHE DOESNT THINK HES A CAT SHE THINKS HES A HUMAN CHILD

Cass: thirsty bitch

Barbara: CASSANDRA WATCH YOUR MOUTH!

Steph: damn that’s fucking crazy

Barbara: STEPHANIE!

Steph: I’m grown!

Barbara: don’t start with me

Steph: I’m so sorry

*extra bonus*

Bruce: *at work getting tons and tons of congratulations and gift baskets to give to Lucy*

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madametamma · 7 months

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I would love it if Vicky Vale came back in a later episode of MAWS and actually meets Superman. Maybe he even saves her from something and she is pants crapping terrified because "Holy shit, here's an insanely powered alien right in front of her and she made front page of the Gothem Gazet badmouthing him." Meanwhile Superman is just being his normal, smiling, polite self who would never do any of the things Vicky is terrified of even if he knew about the article, which he doesn't.

#MAWS #my adventures with superman #Vicky Vale

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stitchingsins · 8 months

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That moment when you’re just trying to enjoy your silly goofy superhero show and Lois Lane goes and triggers you to rethink your major and career path lmao

#lois lane #my adventures with superman #journalism #college #university #it’s like the writers at dc had it out for me specifically #vicky vale

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the-mumbo · 1 year

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Vicky Vale: well why are you non-binary?

Damian: I gave up my gender so i could study the blade

#incorrect batfamily quotes #bat family #incorrect quotes #damian wayne #vicky vale

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just-an-enby-lemon · 10 months

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My headcannon is that for sexism reasons Vicky Vale who wants to be an investigative journalist and it's absolutly amazing at it has to write gossip/interview celebrities while Jack Ryder who wanted to be a interviewer/gossip writer and would be really good doing it has to do investigative journalism. Both hate it.

Vicky keeps going feral and extremely mean in her interviews to see if getting the company sued or something will let them either follow her wishes (because she is also showing her talent and dedication to getting the scope) or at least end her contract so she can try litteraly anywhere else. Unfortunately the audiences LOVE IT. A lot of them hate her and call her vulture and all the insults for evil gossip reporters but they love the stories. Vicky Vale asked Bruce Wayne if he thinks his parents would be alive if he had a knife on the aniversary of the Waynes murder? Wild. She correctly predicted Jason Todd was alive in his funeral by making mean coments over the close casket? Genius. She told Tim Drake that him coming out as bi was boring? Fascinating. She said "bohoo" when Dick Grayson talked about some hardship in school at age 12? Feral.

Jack Ryder's methods instead are talking about how he will die if he continues doing his job and how he isn't made for all this stressfull live dangerous things like following Grundy in Gotham's cemetery or looking for possible riddler's landmines based on a weird puzzle that is now appearing on the back of all Gotham's childrem ceral boxes or reporting on an active gang war. He hopes people will pity him and the public opinion will be enought for him to finally be able to just do gossip/interview cool people. But people just find him relatable. Forgetting his gas mask when reporting a Scarecrow attack? Who never? Mentioning how much he would preffer to be talking about a guy who has a cool dolphim rescue center instead of trapped in a Joker "comedy show"? Yeah, same. "Ew ew ew I'm a sewer, I hate it, it smells bad, it looks bad, my shoes are dirty, ew" Being in a sewer does smell bad.

#vicky vale #jack ryder #batman #i love fictional journalists and seing how this two aproach things i think it's wild that vicky gets gossip and jack the news?#summer gleeson is my favorite but i adore the whole trio

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pinkblosmx · 1 year

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Female leads of the Batman 1989 - 1997 movies era

#vicky vale #selina kyle #catwoman #chase meridian #poison ivy #pamela isley #batman 1989 #batman returns #batman forever #batman and robin 1997 #they’re all so pretty #but was very surprised to see Nicole Kidman in Batman forever #my gifs

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incorrectbatfam · 8 months

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What are their euphimisms for vigilante stuff when they're in public?

Vicky Vale: So what are your plans after this press conference?

Bruce: Oh, nothing much, just running a few errands.

Dick: Yeah, I might hit the gym to let out some of the tension in my neck. *wink*

Jason: I heard the library got a new annotated Shakespeare catalogue. I think I'll check that out. *wink*

Tim: The annual reports are due soon so I'll be putting in overtime. *winks with both eyes*

Damian: One of my academic extracurriculars is having extra practice sessions for regional tournaments. *subtle wink*

Stephanie: I'm having McDonald's breakfast for dinner. *wink*

Cassandra: Don't forget smoothies. *wink*

Duke: I'm more of a Chipotle guy. *wink wink*

[later]

The batkids: *ready for patrol*

Dick, checking his watch: Weird, it's not like Bruce to be late.

Stephanie: It's kinda rude, especially after he lectured me for getting caught in traffic last Friday.

Bruce: *bursts into the Batcave out of breath*

Damian: You're half an hour late, Father. Where were you?

Bruce: Looking all over for you!

Tim: What do you mean?

Bruce, to Dick: You said you were going to the gym.

Bruce, to Jason: You said you'd be at the library.

Bruce, to Tim: You said you were working overtime.

Bruce, to Damian: You said you had practice for a club.

Bruce, to Stephanie: You said you were going to McDonald's.

Bruce, to Cassandra: You said you were getting a smoothie.

Bruce, to Duke: And you said you were at Chipotle!

Dick: In hindsight, maybe we should've discussed this...

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sorens2015 · 11 days

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the beginning...

#batman #tim burton #gotham city #dc comics #michael keaton #kim basinger #vicky vale #jack nicholson #the joker

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momachan · 2 months

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Batman Family (1975-1978) #11. "Surprise! Surprise!"

Happy birthday, Bruce Wayne! 🥳

#dc comics #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #jim gordon #vicky vale #batfamily #batfam #batman family #happy birthday bruce wayne #happy birthday batman

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chuukanu · 3 months

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Dancing - Vicky Vale

Initial D - D Selection 2

First appears in Episode 11 First Stage, is one of Shingos themes

#initial d #music #takumi fujiwara #shingo shoji #dancing #vicky vale #eurobeat

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crybabylulu · 9 months

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Pt 18 this is correct and no I will not take criticism

Lucy: *trying to sneak out her room*

Jason: *walks into her room and catches her* where the fuck are you going?

Lucy: *hanging halfway out the window* there’s a block party in the Narrows

Jason: I’ll drive go get Steph and Duke

Lucy: yay *climbs back into her room then runs to Steph room*

Steph: *in her pjs watch the real housewives of Gotham*

Lucy: *bust in then closes the door behind her*

Steph: you could knock

Lucy: hush! *jumps in her bed* there’s a block party in the Narrows tonight Jason said he’ll drive

Steph: let me get dressed *hops out her bed to find an outfit*

Lucy: *runs into duke’s room but he’s not there* the fuck? *runs into the kitchen to see him with Bruce*

Bruce: no running in the house

Lucy: my bad hey Duke can i borrow you for just a second?

Duke: what for?

Lucy: I need your height to grab a book from the library *lying asf but still so smooth with it*

Duke: come on

Lucy: *drags him upstairs and to the empty library*

Duke: ok which boo-

Lucy: there’s a block party in the Narrows jason said he’ll drive us

Duke: *sighs* my Narrow party days are over

Lucy:….don’t play with me be in the car by eleven

Flatline: party?

Lucy: where tf did you come from? Also how’s bonding with Mr. Chuckles going?

Flatline; oh I snuck in through the window and bonding with him is going great I think he likes me

Lucy: oh that’s lovely anyways yeah party in the Narrows be in the car by eleven

Flatline: im gonna have to drag Damian with me

Lucy: that’s fine

*bonus*

*they made it to the Narrows and the everyone is dancing and or sitting on cars and hanging out*

Lucy & Steph: *eating burgers and dancing*

Jason: *impressing the ladies with his dance moves*

Duke: *found some old friends to talk to*

Damian and Flatline: *sitting on someone’s car just talking*

Anarchy: BABY SIS IS THAT YOU?!

Lucy: big brother! *runs over to anarchy and gives him a big hug*

*extra bonus*

Vicky Vale: *in a helicopter over the Narrows* it seems that everyone in the Narrows is getting along peacefully tonight

*below on the ground*

Jason: *trying to stop a fight* can we all just chill out and enjoy the party

Lucy: no but seriously I didn’t even get a hot dog yet!

Steph: THERES HOT DOGS?

Duke: let’s all calm down and just go back to partying

Damian: *ready to pull out his blade*

Flatline: don’t even think about it dami

*the block party gets shot up and the kids run back to the car*

Lucy: WE CANT HAVE SHIT IN THE NARROWS!

*extra extra bonus*

Bruce: why were you all in the Narrows?

Jason: who told you that?

Lucy: there is no proof

Steph: Bruce I think you’re getting old so you’re just saying and seeing things

Bruce: YOU WERE ALL ON THE NEWS! *turns on the tv to show Vicky reporting about the Wayne kids in the Narrows*

Lucy: that raggedy bitch

Steph: why did you date her again? She’s really nosy

Bruce: also why are you two in my house? *points at Anarchy and Flatline*

Flatline: I’m just waiting for mom (Rose) to come and get me

Anarchy: I’m just here for Lucy

Lucy: *smiles real big at her big brother*

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