Aries: Its all fun and games until someone remembers they’re inexorable from their environment, existing as a process that experiences the world as a series of moments.
Taurus: Just because something is immune to your “psychic wave attacks“ that doesn't mean you can’t hit it with a wrench. Problems often require multiple solutions.
Gemini: A critical eye is only as good as the love in its heart. Aim for the soft parts, don’t damage the pelt.
Cancer: The stars say no more frolicking! You have lost your frolicking privileges! If the stars see a single frolic they’re gonna be super mad.
Leo: There was that thing you meant to do, you know the thing you were thinking about but forgot. You gotta do that thing.
Virgo: Stay grounded. Focus on the real shit. Extend your neck to attack the president from a distance with your sharp teeth.
Libra: Do your work with love and attention. Unless your work sucks, in which case it should be done with love, attention, and spite.
Scorpio: Feeling restricted? Like the world is weighing you down? That’s normal for when your stuck up to the waist in lake Cocytus.
Ophiuchus: Other people don’t get MRI scans for fun that’s not normal.
Sagittarius: It may be hard to make real connections today. You can’t touch people without knocking them out with a static shock. Its the sandstorm.
Capricorn: You are not “feeling the effects of they/them cock“ you have havana syndrome.
Aquarius: Remember Aquarius, friends don’t strangle friends.
Pisces: Keep it professional, stick to business, the suit comes off when the grind stops and the grind never stops. Show your boss your dedication by never showering. Grind central.
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