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#Visions of V Chapter 10
damn-stark · 1 year
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Moonlight
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Aemond Targaryen x Targaryen!fem-reader, Cregan Stark Targaryen!fem-reader
Summary- Y/N Velaryon Targaryen, eldest and only child of Rhaenyra Targaryen and Laenor Velaryon, the golden girl. Destined for greatness except the throne, no, that goes to Jacaerys, Driftmark goes to Lucerys, what is that you get? A promise for a good match? The promise to be taken somewhere far away from your family? Again. Albeit being forced to Winterfell the first time didn’t turn out to be a mistake, you got to be close to Cregan Stark, some would say you’re more than friends, but such a relationship is forbidden. Now that you’ve returned home after years though, what do you have? More desire for what can’t be yours? Or a man who promises you the world?
Ser Jason Waters
Season 1
Chapter 1 Golden girl
Chapter 2 Stars and scars
Chapter 3 Learn to join the dance
Chapter 4 Snow on the beach
Chapter 5 Journey to the future
Chapter 6 City of stars
Chapter 7 Aerion
Chapter 8 Chateau
Takes place after Season 1
Chapter 9 Heart of ice
Chapter 10 Nobody gets me but…
Chapter 11 Heart of fire
Chapter 12 The Siren’s trick
Chapter 13 The Great War
Chapter 14 No time to die
Chapter 15 The songchord of the twins
Chapter 16 These violent delights…
Chapter 17 Mom I’m tired
Chapter 18 The serpents tongue
Chapter 19 The vision
Chapter 20 …have violent ends
Chapter 21 The Eldest v the youngest
Chapter 22 Paradise
Chapter 23 No woman no cry
Chapter 24 Me and the Devil
Chapter 25 Be prepared
Chapter 26 Love in the dark
Chapter 27 Million years
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emeritusemeritus · 5 months
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Vulnera Sanentur [Weasley Twins x Reader]
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Part 11
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
Title: Vulnera Sanentur
Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley {established relationship} mentions of Snape x Reader.
Timeline: DH1&2- Initially set during the battle of the seven potters. Canon and certain plot points have been altered for the needs of the story.
Summary: The battle of the seven Potters throws your world into chaos when one of your boyfriend’s is cursed. As Snape’s ex-potions assistant and previous protégée, you recognise the inflicted curse immediately and demand answers from your mentor.
Warnings: Angst, mentions of war and Voldy, descriptions of injury and blood, descriptive smut, p in v sex, shower sex, tension. Outside sex. Semi public sex. None sexual nudity. Crying. Snape has a soft spot for reader. Arguments. Probably some cursing. Mentions of nightmares. Reader is part of the Order of the Phoenix. Mentions of death (Dumbledore). Mentions of Tonks’ pregnancy. On it got a angsty. So much angst I can’t tag it all. Not spellchecked nor beta read, we die like Madeye.
Only a few more chapters left to go now. This one hurt my Severus loving heart🖤
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It's cold and dark in your mind but your body feels like it's on fire, trapped in an inferno that won't end. You'd scream if you could but you're trapped, rendered silent and frozen as your insides blaze without reprieve. Your suffering continues though you fight through it, ploughing on even with a pain-clouded mind and blurry vision as the blood continues to pour from your body.
You try and focus your eyes upon your opponent, forcing yourself to look harder and be stronger, using what little power you have left to continue to fight.
Nagini is hissing wildly, her huge, thick body roiling on the floor as if she's under the cruciatus curse, pain consuming her. There's a sound emitting from her that sounds ungodly, a mixture between a hiss and a scream that makes you feel as if your own throat is burning through the awful sound. Her body vibrates, continuing to convulse on the floor and you take a moment to back away, stumbling backwards as you slide across the floor, not realising until that moment that you'd fallen to your knees. The sharp rubble slices at your hands but you don't feel it, your mind screaming at you knowing you needed to get a safe distance away.
You fix your wand upon the multiple, horrifying gashes in Nagini's body, leaking both blood and black liquid which had mixed together to form the most grotesque sight you could fathom. The skin around her wounds was quickly turning black and your consciousness was fading in and out though you fought to pull every ounce of strength from yourself to focus. Taking steadying breaths, you think of Severus, the dear friend you had lost, feeling more than ever that you needed him right now.
"Vulnera Sanentur, Vulnera Sanentur, Vulnera Sanentur."
You drag your wand across her skin, watching at the lines on her body heal but not completely. It draws the black liquid out of her slowly, like pulling an invisible thread out and you watch in relief as the wounds begin to lose their black hue.
You were weak, much weaker than you hoped to be and you knew with little consolation that you might not be able to get out of this, your own blood still dripping onto the floor by your feet. Your eyes were closing on their own accord, exhaustion overcoming you no matter how hard you fought.
You dragged your wand over your own skin now, trying desperately to stop the blood flow, seeing the black venom infecting the deep gashes on your arm. The incantation was weak but you managed to draw the black venom out of your arm, just. The wounds were far from closed but the blood flow had slowed and that was all you could do.
It hadn't worked. Nagini was still a snake, not the woman you'd had seen in your mind; nothing you had done had worked. You forced yourself in your last moments to think of your boyfriends, their infectious laughter and gorgeous smiles. A loop of memories played in your mind, a montage of favourite moments together throughout the years. The first time you met, the first kisses, the last kisses and everything in between. They had each other, you reasoned, feeling a slither of peace at that very fact, knowing that whatever happened to you, they wouldn't be alone.
Your eyes briefly opened again upon hearing a haunting sound, a hissing that only increases with volume and intensity, immediately causing you to enter an internal fight or flight reaction though your body was still paralysed with exhaustion. Your mind takes a few moments to realise exactly what is happening as you register the figures of two people nearby, their outlines becoming clearer with each passing moment as your vision cleared, though you couldn't hold your eyes open for long.
Ron and Hermione.
You were encased around the large, wrapped trunk of Nagini's body, though you felt no pressure on your limbs, no constriction. The snake was wildly hissing at Ron and Hermione who were trying to approach you with horrified eyes, their wands fixed upon the snake with conviction. She was protecting you.
"Ron no! If you miss, you'll hit y/n!" Hermione wailes, tugging on his arm which had his wand aimed at Nagini. He looked furious, more angry than you'd ever seen him, a look in his eyes which showed he was out for revenge. The snake hisses in fury at Ron, sensing his intentions and gives a warning snap of it's head, showing the vicious fangs to warn them away. You can only see the side profile but even from your limited view, the blood covered fangs and healed but visible gashes across her body were a terror inducing sight.
Closing your eyes, you tried to connect to Nagini, finding nothing in the darkness behind your eyes. You're exhausted, both mentally and physically but you push harder, searching deeper and further in your mind for any sign of the snake, but there's nothing, the connection had been broken.
You open your eyes, feeling it easier now as the light no longer hurts your eyes, finding strength in the knowledge that something had changed, something must have worked.
You shift slightly, attempting to think of ways to get out of Nagini's hold and almost instantly she senses your movement. You reach blindly for your wand but feel nothing, preparing yourself for the imminent attack, but nothing comes. Instead, she unfurls herself from around you and with one last vicious hiss in Ron and Hermione's direction, she turns to you, watching you carefully as she peels her body away from yours, shifting to lie between you and your friends. You don't break her gaze, eyeing her carefully with the knowledge that she might attack the second you looked away.
You look into her eyes and see the woman staring back at you in your mind, looking frightened and lost, her eyes drawing you in. You feel compelled to explain, though she may not understand and there's no denying that the truth could cause her to attack, the uncertain nature of the serpentine creature only making you more afraid.
"You know don't you, what needs to be done," you say gently, still looking into her eyes. She continues to look at you and there's a momentary pause that passes where she doesn't respond in anyway, making you feel foolish for trying to communicate with the snake. She suddenly shifts her head and you immediately throw up your hand to stop Ron from moving forward as he prepares to lurch towards you, wand still aimed at the snake threateningly, his grip so tight you can see that his fingers have turned white. Her head slowly nods, though it's minuscule in movement.
There's a brief flash of embarrassment you feel at connecting this way with a creature but you sense that she can understand you completely.
"If there was another way," you begin to say but the rest of the words catch in your throat. Truthfully, you didn't know any other way of how to save her, of how to kill the Horcrux inside her without her perishing. Her head sinks to the floor, near your leg and suddenly she doesn't feel like a threat anymore. You sit there for some time, not knowing how to proceed, feeling like you'd reached an impasse.
All it took was a large bang out in the courtyard for the temporary armistice to be broken. Ron ran to the main doors just around the corner to look at what had caused the crash and he looked horrified as he explained with difficulty that Harry and Voldemort were duelling. It had to be now.
You turned to Nagini and noticed almost instantly how her demeanour had changed, her eyes no longer conveying any of the sadness or understanding, but instead looked cold and hardened. Her body had tensed and her tail had curled into her body tighter, all signs of alarming defensiveness. You understood immediately; the Horcrux within her was sensing her master only metres away. She could sense his danger, the treat to his life, which meant that the Horcrux within her, the slither of Voldemort's soul was also in danger.
Time seemed to slow as you realised too late the danger you were in, your proximity to the seemingly possessed snake putting you in imminent peril, especially without a wand. You ran, scrambling away until you backed up towards the wall, looking for some way of hiding, dragging Hermione with you so that she would be safe. It was like the predator in her had awoken, the last semblance of humanity drained from her mind as her body tenses, her body stiffening as she prepared to attack. You were defenceless and Hermione only had mere seconds to adjust to you throwing her back, as Ron leapt forward to protect her before Nagini lunged.
You watched at the snake flew through the air, her mouth wide open and blood soaked mouth hurtling towards you with an unstoppable force. You force yourself to think of your beloved boyfriends a s of your lost friend, desperately clinging to the love you'd received throughout your life as you waited for the attack.
But no pain came. Your eyes had closed on their own accord and you opened them tentatively to see a billowing cloud of black smoke rising in the air, clearing slowly to show the figure of Neville, bloodied and panting hard, the sword of Gryffindor in his hands. He'd done it, the very last Horcrux was dead.
Ron and Hermione held on to each other for the longest time, the near death experience pulling them closer together. You looked at Neville and leapt to your feet, throwing your arms around him. He stumbled briefly having not anticipated your embrace but held strong, wrapping his spare arm around you as you hugged him in both celebration and appreciation.
Then, you saw the translucent figure of a woman before you . It was the very same woman you'd seen in your mind, through the connection with Nagini. She was beautiful, the contrast of her dark hair and pale skin looked vibrant once again. The spirit's connection was brief, lingering just long enough for her to nod once at you, bowing her hair before she disappeared. You had done it, her spirit had been freed. The spell, your blood, mixed with hers and the venom really had worked.
You turned to Hermione and Ron, pulling away from Neville and found them to be staring at the exact spot where she hovered only moments ago, clearly having seen exactly what you had.
"Harry."
That one word prompted you all to run around the corridor and out into the courtyard, reminded that Harry was duelling the dark Lord with no assistance. You expected to see a myriad of lights and colour, the two powerful figures mid combat as each opponent fought for what they thought was right. Instead, you found Harry alone, stood in the crumbled courtyard clutching both his wand and the elder wand, staring down at the mythical hallow in amazement. He'd done it. He'd won. You'd all won.
Ron and Hermione ran towards him, embracing with triumphant glory, each of them pleased to be alive after facing their opponent head on. Neville fist bumped the air in celebration and limped quickly off back towards the main building, no doubt alerting the others that Voldemort had been defeated.
You stood alone, feeling suddenly overcome with emotions that you hadn't anticipated, conflicted to your very core. You felt a massive surge of relief of course, wanting nothing more than to celebrate alongside the trio and everyone else. But you felt sad and a little lost. You felt for everyone that had lost their lives in the battle, the damage that had been caused, for little teddy who had lost both of his loving parents in a single night and for Severus, who had died in your arms, a spoil of war.
But then you remembered the tear. The memory he had given you in his last moments. You looked upon the trio once more, seeing them rightfully still embracing and celebrating their win and with one last glance, you slipped back inside the castle and walked straight towards the headmasters office before anyone could stop you. You couldn't wait to get back to Fred and George, to be wrapped in their arms and back with everyone you loved, no longer having to feel fear or doom but this had to be done first, you needed answers and closure from the only person that could give you that.
Approaching the gargoyle staircase, you thought of that night so long ago when you'd slipped in to the castle and confronted Severus about George's injury. You thought of your anger, your resentment and your confusion that your friend and mentor could have done this to the man you loved, particularly as you approached the main doors, remembering how you had barged in the last time.
The office was largely undamaged, with only a few books and glass cases smashed on the floor from the attack. The pensieve pulled out automatically s you stepped further into the room, crossing the threshold with a nervous trepidation that made you pause, pulling the vial out of your pocket and holding it out with shaky hands.
You poured in the tear and watched as it swirled down, a bright white cloud of billowing smoke within the water, drawing you in. You took a deep breath and submerged your face into the tepid water,  watching as the cloud parted and dispersed, forming into figures that you recognised immediately. Severus and Dumbledore. They were in the very office your body was suspended in, Dumbledore sat at his desk with Severus stood before him, attempting to walk out.
"Don't ignore me, Severus," Dumbledore says, causing the potions master to pause in the doorway. "We both know Lord Voldemort has ordered the Malfoy boy to murder me. But should he fail, one should presume the dark Lord will turn to you."
Severus stands resolute, looking upon Dumbledore with a blank expression. "You must be the one to kill me, Severus. It's the only way. Only then will the dark Lord trust you completely."
You watch as Snape's face drops subtly, his eyes expressing a hesitancy and pain that is almost palpable. The vision flickers and you see Snape shushing Harry in what you know to be the astronomy tower before the image of Dumbledore's falling body briefly flickers across your vision, the killing curse uttered by Snape ringing in your ears. The vision then flickers back to their meeting in the office, Dumbledore's weak and tired eyes imploring Severus.
"There will come a time when Harry Potter must be told something. But you must wait until Voldemort is at his most vulnerable."
"Must be told what?" Severus' deep baritone voice calls out, a frustration and element of concern in his tone.
The vision suddenly changes again and you watch as Severus enters the broken house you'd recognised from your trip to Godric's Hollow on Christmas Eve. You watched as he walked across the debris covered landing and caught sight of Lily dead on the floor, the infant Harry wailing in his cot only yards away.
"On the night Lord Voldemort went to Godric's Hollow to kill Harry, and Lily Potter cast herself between them, the curse rebounded."
You can feel the affection he felt for Lily with the sound of her name, and then the devastation and pain at discovering her body on the floor in the nursery. It's gut wrenching and crippling to feel everything he felt and you now understood that he had loved her, he had loved Lily Potter.
"When that happened, a part of Voldemort's soul latched itself onto the only living thing it could find, Harry himself." Dumbledore has begun walking down the platform steps in his office, his legs weak and his frame looking frailer than ever as you see his blackened hand, the curse from a Horcrux.
"There's a reason Harry can speak with snakes. There's a reason he can look into Lord Voldemort's mind. A part of Voldemort lives inside him."
"So when the time comes," Severus says, squinting at Albus who has reared closer to him now, the tension in the room growing increasingly denser and thick. "The boy must die?"
"Yes."
"You've kept him alive so that he can die at the proper moment," Severus accuses, his tone suddenly much harsher, "you've been raising him like a pig for slaughter."
"Don't tell me now you've grown to care for the boy?"
Then you see him look out of the window, the darkness in the sky only further proof that this was conversation had late at night, in complete secrecy. You watch as Severus casts the patronus charm and a familiar glowing doe whips around the room before exiting through the glass, the illuminated spot fading as it disappears further into the sky.
"And y/n, you have grown to care for her too?" Albus asks. You watch as Severus becomes instantly more defensive, his eyes squinting and mouth opening before closing rather harshly, his chest puffing.
"That is none of your concern," he answers in a deadpan way, his eyes averted to a spot on the wall where the portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black hangs.
"But Severus it is, do you not see that she is involved?"
Snape's head whips round quicker than a flash until he's staring back into Albus' eyes with a fierce glare, though beneath the stare is concern and worry.
Flashes of yourself appear in Snape's memory, a strange thing to have seen memories you yourself had but from the other perspective. You see yourself in your sixth year, singled out in his vision as he watches you work, creating a batch of what you remember to be Sleeping Draught in class. The next memory shows the following week, your meeting in his office, seeing you smile and laugh as his deep chuckle fills your ears. You see as different memories merge together of you working together, annotating his books and transcribing his notes, the visions of you shifting to memories you had never known, of Severus watching you and glancing at you when you weren't paying attention. You can feel a warmth again to these memories, feeling the affection he felt for you, as if you were able to experience it exactly how he had, much like the memories of Lily.
"You said that you would protect her! You said by making her my apprentice it would shield her from his notice!"
"The dark Lord may be unaware of her prowess but I fear her connection to the Weasley's will have attracted the attention of her peers." There's a flash of you, Fred and George sat in the great hall from Snape's perspective at the top table, he sees you laughing and resting your head on Fred's shoulder, though the memory is brief.
"There's little I can do, Severus. They will need her," Albus says with conviction.
The memory shifts again before your eyes and you see Severus sat alone in his office, his corporeal patronus dancing wildly around the room as he binds together pieces of what you recognise to be the Lebetum, the misted glass opened as he summons the doe inside. He thinks of you, your laughter playing like a melody in your own ears and there's a brief moment where you can smell the scent of your hair as you watch the words 'Expecto Dominum Meum' appear across the black device just as you had experienced many times before.
There's a brief memory that flashes and you watch as Severus pulls a book from his bookshelf in what you assume to be his home, followed by him using the book as a glossary as he translates his words whilst writing. The next memory cuts in of you receiving the book from him, his deep voice speaking over the memory that you will need this to translate and transcribe his newest paper, handing you the book of Latin phrases and texts.
"You love her," Albus' voice cuts through and you watch as Dumbledore and Snape are stood on a cliff top somewhere, the exchange between the pair is rife with tension.
"Yes," he says, his deep voice speaking matter of factly.
"You've protected her all you can," Albus says, perhaps slightly gentler now.
"It's not enough," he says, his black sleeved arms wrapping around himself, turning to look out into the distance. You know he's thinking about you, and of Lily, the two women he felt he'd lost, slipping between their fingertips. "It will never be enough." He reaches into his pocket and thrusts the black device of his own creation that he'd pulled from within the folds of his cloak into the older man's wrinkled hands, who gapes at it for a moment, a frown pulling between his eyebrows.
"Severus, you can't possibly," Albus begins speaking but he's cut off when Snape looks up from the Lebetum with an expression you had so often seen, the fixed, harsh stare that told whomever he was speaking to that he would answer no questions nor explain further, his word absolute.
"Until my heart stops beating. With hope, even after."
The memory fades and the smoke like memory disappears into the water until it's no longer visible. You pull out of the water and sink to your knees, sitting on the bottom stone step of the desk platform, gathering your thoughts.
You sobbed uncontrollably, chest and shoulders heaving with the effort as you let every bit of pain consume you, every emotion you'd tried to hold back from the moment you left Bill's wedding and everyone behind in your hunt for the Horcruxes, realising that you had been played like a pawn in a game of wizards chess. You cried for your lost friend, knowing now that he loved you. You cried for everything that could have been, for how he'd protected you the whole way through without knowing, for the pain you felt at being so close but so far away from Fred and George, for the months spent pining for them, for the horrors you'd seen and what you'd been through.
You gasped for breath between your sobs, clutching your arms around yourself as you rocked gently, feeling entirely consumed by pain. You should feel victorious and triumphant, celebrating with everyone else in the castle but you couldn't face it, not when you felt so far away from yourself.
Your thoughts were consumed with Severus and what you'd seen in his memories and you wondered if you'd loved him too. You loved Fred and George, that was evident to everyone around you and to yourself but you'd never considered the piece of your heart that had remained with Severus, realising much too late that you had loved him too. Maybe not in the same way that you did the twins but it was undeniable that there was something there much stronger than friendship alone.
Your sobs had subsided eventually and you sat on the cold stone with a vacant expression, gaze fixed upon an uninteresting spot on the floor. You felt drained in every sense of the word; your mind was slowly going blank, unable to string two solid thoughts together as the mental and emotional strain took its toll on you. Your body felt weak and broken, pain and soreness now evident in your injured body, feeling the full effects of your shoulder injury and the cuts on your arm. You look down at the deep gashes on your arm and begin to slowly peel your jacket away, cringing and wincing as the dried blood around the cuts rips away having connected your jacket to the broken skin.
You cast a healing spell on the cuts but it's weak, knowing that you couldn't perform the correct incantation as much as you wanted to, your body too exhausted and drained. You pondered, just for a moment, the irony of the cuts on your arm. The spell created by your mentor intended to inflict pain for those he hated, but instead inflicted upon the woman he loved to free her from her torment.
You sat for a while thinking of the memories he'd shown you, realising now that all his words had made sense. He'd asked you to forgive him, telling you that one day you'd understand. He'd protected you when you needed it most, provided you with his own guardian in the form of a patronus and saved your life multiple times even from afar. He'd given you all the clues, the biggest of all being the book of Latin phrases, somehow knowing that it would be the key to surviving, putting his faith in your ability to decode it. He'd loved you. He was never a true destheater but had been the bravest man alive to act as a spy for the order, for the sake of everyone who seemingly hated him.
One thing had always bothered you, once singular piece of knowledge that had plagued you since the moment you'd been bequeathed with the Lebetum.
You stood slowly, throwing your jacket back over you to cover the scars and the wounds that littered your body and dusted yourself off, though it was a pointless effort as your clothes and skin were still stained with Severus' blood. You stepped towards the littering of books on the bookcase and tried to find the off-white leather book amongst the rows of text, hoping it was there. It wasn't. It was, however, laid on the desk, already open.
You searched through the glossary of words, alphabetically listed as you turned to the section you needed.
Lebetem, or Lebetum (noun) translates to Cauldron. A large metal pot used for brewing potions over an open fire. Can also refer to a situation characterised by strong emotions.
You felt gobsmacked by the revelation, realising that it was most likely a joke played by Severus, a little twist of humour he'd integrated in the the situation.
You then thought of the translation Mr Ollivander had given you of the text on the device, Expecto Dominum Meum, and his little chuckle when you explained that it was a Lebetum, realising now that it all made sense. He’d recognised you as Snape’s apprentice and had only chuckled when he pieced it all together.
Lebetum, Cauldron, a necessity of brewing potions.
Expecto Dominum Meum, I await my master.
I await my potions master.
You laughed out loud; an honest and very real laugh that you felt hadn't happened in such a long time. You'd been blind to it all this time, his intricacies never failing to amuse and astound you. You felt an immense sense of gratitude erupt from you and though you were naturally devastated that he was no longer here, nor were you able to thank him for everything he'd done, the Lebetum had done the trick to make you feel a little better, giving you humour in a time of sheer upset.
You wanted a shower desperately, a hot cup of tea and the comfort of your loved ones around you. You looked down at the book of Latin translations and smiled, touching your hand to the old pages before you walked away, feeling calmed.
You closed the doors to the office as you exited, casting one last glance at the intricacy of the wood and walked down the staircase, back towards the great hall where you hoped everyone was still gathered.
Bill spotted you first and leapt up from his seat to close the distance between you, pulling you into his chest. The unlikely friendship you'd forged during your time at shell cottage was entirely unexpected but welcome, his ability to make you feel at ease and protected was unparalleled, his role of big brother extending to you.
"Stop scaring me like that," he mutters and you can hear the slight smirk in his voice, making you chuckle. "Told you you were tough, wouldn't find me dead near a snake." You chuckle again and start to snark that Werewolves were fine but not snakes, but you're stopped as you see two near identical and very welcome faces waiting anxiously behind Bill. You pull apart, giving him one last smile before he slips back to sit beside Fleur at the table, allowing you to properly reunite with his brothers.
There's a singular beat that passes where you stand still, looking at them with a trepidation to your gaze. You felt guilty for leaving them alone, to fight your own battles without considering theirs. They both looked disheveled and dirty, eyes dark and tired and for the first time that night you no longer thought of your own exhaustion or torment.
Fred moves first and pulls you in for the tightest embrace he'd ever given, his hand holding your waist close to his body and his left hand cradling your head. He kisses you without abandon, uncaring and unashamed of anyone nearby as your emotion pours into the kiss, a thousand apologies and comforting words said silently between you. A tear falls from your left eye, overwhelmed by your official reconnection but he doesn't miss it, moving his thumb to swipe it away as he pulls his lips away from yours reluctantly, savouring the feel of your lips against his.
"I love you so much," he says, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead as he begins to rock you gently side to side. "You're never leaving again, you hear me? I can't ever be apart from you again." Another tear slips at his words and all you can do is nod in agreement, blindsided by the emotion and conviction of his words.
"Never again," you reply, reaching out to grab the material of his jacket, feeling as if he'd slip away if you let go. He senses this and presses one last kiss to your lips before pulling away and stepping aside, allowing George to scoop you up.
Fred and George were different in many ways but it was never more obvious to you than when you were in their arms. George always seemed taller somehow, your head not reaching as far up onto his shoulder as it did with Fred but it was equally as comforting to be pressed into the centre of his chest. His arms caged you and held you tightly, shoulders and breasts smushed against the hard plains of his body but you didn't care.
"Tell me it's over, Angel, please don't leave again."
His voice sounds broken and like a little boys, lost and afraid, a sound that breaks your heart. You pull away firmly, looking up into his gorgeous face.
"I'm staying right here, forever," you say, reaching up to touch his cheek as you lean up, making it clear that you want a kiss. He obliges immediately and kisses you with a passion and intensity you hadn't quite anticipated. His hand find yours and he holds on to you tightly, one large hand grabbed around your back as your right hand stays on his face.
Once the kiss ends, Fred steps back to join you both as both twins grab for you, your small frame between their much larger once's making you feel safe and secure. Eventually you are pulled away by Molly who can't wait any longer and you're smothered by her fussing until Arthur pulls her away with a knowing smile before he embraces you. Each person embraces you as you're passed around the group, feeling every ounce of love they give.
There's a moment where you and Harry look at each other before you embrace, a wordless question about your shared connections to darkness. You shake your head with a smile, telling him that your connection had been severed and he nods his head with the same mirrored look, both of you smiling widely as you realise that it was now just you, no longer plagued by another's emotions or memories. You throw your arms around his neck, both laughing as you finally feel the celebratory mood everyone else felt, now that you were back with the people you loved.
Ginny brought you a hot cup of tea from one of the little reserves that had been set up and you thanked her kindly, taking a seat in between Fred and George, in your rightful place. Instantly, their arms lock you into place with George's arm extending around your back and Fred's large hand covering your thigh, keeping you anchored to them. Everyone was laughing and joking, telling their own stories and as you looked around at your loved ones, though missing one important person; you felt happy.
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sm0lprism · 5 months
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Bite-Sized (1) - A G/t BG3 Fanfic
This contains g/t (giant/tiny content) so if that isn't your thing, then I suggest you stop reading. Thank you!
Read on AO3
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Summary: Taken place during Act 1 of Baldur's Gate 3. Meet Ria, a 10 centimetre tall (4 inches) borrower who is trying her best to survive out in the wilderness of Faerûn without being crushed underfoot, squashed, or eaten. Astarion, weak with hunger, manages to catch a whiff of Ria's scent, and driven by his bloodlust he tracks her down with the intention of eating her. Of course, things get a little complicated when Gale becomes involved.
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[Picture does not belong to me, found on @/dailyastarionpictures]
Pairing: Astarion x borrower!oc (Tav) (slow-burn, Astarion is a complete ass but eventually comes round in future chapters)
Warnings: V*re mention, mouthplay, fearplay, blood, swearing/course language, blood drinking, Astarion is a real asshole to little people/borrowers and doesn't see them as people so be prepared for him being awful.
Word count: 2.5k
Foreboding shadows of ancient trees casted over the small borrower as she fumbled through the foliage on the forest floor. Gnarly roots protruding from the earthy ground threatened to trip her with each hasty step that she took as her breathing quickened. Ria knew for a fact that something – or someone – was stalking her.
She had become so used to the sensation of being watched by hungry predators throughout her young life that she could almost sense when she was being followed. Every single hair on the back of her neck stood up as she swallowed thickly. Being only a mere 10 centimetres tall made her very easy prey to just about everything that dwelled in the dark forest, and there wasn’t a single doubt in her mind that if she didn’t act swiftly, she was going to end up as a midnight snack very soon. Pressing forward, she soon felt small tremors rattle the earth below her feet like tiny earthquakes. Her heart leaping into her throat, she knew that this only meant one thing: whoever was following her was very close. She forced her legs to run faster, adrenaline now spiking her blood as she let her flight or fight response take over. Panic flared in her chest with each approaching tremor, each one getting stronger and more violent than the last.
Her gaze darted around the forest floor feverishly looking for anywhere that she may be able to quickly hide in to prevent her grim demise. She immediately spotted a thicket of thorns – prickly and painful, yes, but that might deter the hungry predator that was gaining on her rapidly. Without second thought, Ria dived into the thorn bush headfirst and immediately felt stabbing pain at her sides. The thorns tore through her clothing and sliced open her skin, her blood now dripping on the ground, but she pushed through it. She was determined not to die as a late-night snack. Grimacing in pain, she pulled herself as deep into the thorn bush as she could muster. Blood now stained her clothing as she glanced down at her wounds, feeling the wetness of her blood on her fingertips. Forcing herself not to cry, she held her breath, anxiously waiting to see if she would in fact live to see another day. The rattling tremors grew ever closer, causing her entire body to vibrate with each footfall.
Wait a minute – footfall? As in, bipedal? Human?
She shook her head. No, humans didn’t eat borrowers. It had to be something else. Something more carnivorous. Something that was intent on following her through the bush just to track her down and eat her. It made her stomach churn. Peering through the twisting thorny stems of the bush, she was just able to see what was outside thanks to the glowing full moon that shone from above.
A pair of dark leather boots appeared in her vision just outside from her spot in the thorn bush. Of course, she couldn’t see the owner of the boots, but just seeing the giant footwear made her heart almost stop right then and there.
“Come now, little one, this would be so much easier if you just surrendered right now.” A loud, masculine voice blared through her eardrums. The voice, however, was not what she was expecting. It had this sort of flair to it that she couldn’t quite describe. But either way, it didn’t deter from her impending fate. She sucked in a sharp breath and hoped that whoever it was would turn away.
“I can smell your blood, darling.” The voice rumbled from above like thunder. “My gods, it smells positively divine. Getting all bloodied up for a vampire is truly flattering, it’s almost as if you want me to bite you in half!”
Vampire!?
Of all the creatures that had to be hunting her down, of course it had to be a vampire. Vampires were known to eat borrowers in a multitude of different ways – biting their heads off to drain the remaining blood, biting them in half, or just simply straight up eating them. An icy chill snaked down her spine as she realised just exactly what she was dealing with. And she had made it even easier for him to find her by smearing her blood everywhere. This couldn’t get any worse.
A tsk tsk tsk noise resonated from above. “I suppose we’re doing this hard way, aren’t we?”
The hard way?!
A piercing scream filled her lungs as the protective thorn bush was practically torn open revealing the vampire in question. Before Ria had a moment to react, a giant hand came crashing down from above and immediately enclosed around her body into a tight fist, yanking her out of her protective thorn casing as if it were nothing. The vampire held her tightly in his grasp, slowly bringing her close to his watchful gaze. Thrashing in his tight vice-like grip, she cried out in protest but to no avail. The icy coldness from the vampire’s skin soon seeped through her clothing and she forcefully supressed a shiver. There was not a single chance that she would be able to escape now. Steadying her rapid breathing, she finally met the gaze of her captor. Piercing giant red orbs met hers and she shuddered out a breath. The man that held her had strikingly pale skin that had an almost ethereal quality to it. His face was sharp and angular, with a cheeky smirk that revealed elongated canine teeth that glimmered white in the moonlight. Long, silvery-white curls framed his perfectly chiselled facial features, contrasting evidently with his crimson blood eyes.
Ria almost forgot to breathe. If the circumstances were different, and she wasn’t going to be his dinner, she would outrightly admit that the man was gorgeous.
“Oh, a little starstruck are we?” The vampire chimed playfully, his smirk growing ever wider, noticing her demeanour. “I can’t say I blame you. I do have that effect on people.”  
Ria opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn’t muster anything that resembled a single sentence. Blood was still leaking out from her multiple cuts making her feel a little light-headed at the blood-loss.
“I must say, I have never actually seen a borrower in person before,” the vampire continued, his loud voice rattling her tiny ribcage with each word he uttered. “I can’t believe just how small you are, I mean, you’re literally bite-sized. How perfect is that?”
The word ‘bite-sized’ shot an arrow of panic straight through her chest. Coming to her senses, her words finally found her.
“Leave me the fuck alone!” A mixture of anger and fear swelled in her chest as the words literally spat out of her mouth.
The vampire’s eyebrows shot up at hearing her outcry, but it only made his grin grow wider. Her outburst, for whatever reason, seemed to please him deeply. “Wow, such a venomous bark for such a small thing. Perhaps if you use some manners I may reconsider,” he chuckled darkly. “I believe I haven’t properly introduced myself. My name is Astarion, and you are?”
Baffled at the vampire’s question, her brain attempted to process what was going on. Was he seriously threatening to eat her and exchange names at the same time? This was hardly the time to be formal and polite, but perhaps if it extended her lifespan just a little, she would play along.
“My name is R-Ria,” she managed to splutter out. “Astarion is a very pretty name.”  
“Changing your tone now, are we?” Astarion replied with a devilish smile. “But flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere in this situation, I’m afraid. Please don’t take this personally, I'm too weak to hunt right now and you’re the easiest snack I could find. All I need is a drop, then that will give me just enough energy to find something more filling.” He paused, licking his tongue over his upper lip. “However, I can’t deny that your scent alone has me salivating already.”
Ria could feel the remaining colour that was left in her face drain away. She attempted to squirm out of his enclosed fist but he only gripped onto her even tighter, threatening to crush her ribcage in his cold grasp.
“Oh, come now, it won’t be so bad,” he said playfully. “It’ll be over before you know it. But before I do, I cannot ignore the blood you already spilled for me. It’d be a shame for that to go to waste.” His gaze raked over her bloodied arms and legs from the thornbush, the blood still oozing from her open wounds.
He suddenly brought her closer towards his face, now filling her entire vision. Hungry crimson eyes stared at her open wounds and he parted his mouth. Stifling back a scream, she could only watch in horror as the tip of his tongue licked the entirety of her wounded arm, lapping up every morsel of her blood that was stained on her skin.
A low moan escaped past his lips and vibrated through the still air as he licked the blood from the multiple cuts across her arm. It didn’t take him long to start lapping at her other wounds along her legs and other arm with the tip of his tongue, savouring every drop that he could find across her skin.
Fortunately, his tongue stopped once all the blood has been licked clean from her exposed skin. At this point, her heart was on the verge of exploding as she realised that she had just been taste tested by a vampire. Hyperventilating rapidly, she glanced down at the parts of her body that she could see in his enclosed fist – noticeably, she could feel that he had only licked her wounds on the lower part of her arms and legs, and very thankfully, not on the middle or near her chest.
“My, my, darling, you taste absolutely delicious,” he hummed with delight, his tongue running across his upper lip with satisfaction. “It is true what they say about borrower blood being so tasty. I can’t believe I’ve been deprived of something like this for so long.”
“Just wait!” Ria finally managed to cry out, tears pricking her eyes. She expected Astarion to ignore her plea, but he remained silent, save for the still ever hungry gaze that lingered in his red eyes.
“Are you sure you want to eat me right now?” she continued, her heart spasming in her chest. “I-I mean, once you eat me, then there’ll be no more left. Shouldn’t something as tasty as me be savoured?”
Astarion remained silent for a few more seconds. She could see the conflicting thoughts dancing across his expression as he mulled the situation over.
“Hmm, I know this is you clearly trying to delay your untimely death, but you do have a point.” His gaze flickered back to Ria’s bloody wounds along her limbs. “But I am in desperate need for a midnight snack, I’m afraid. I would say better luck next time, but I suppose there won’t be a next time for you, will there?”
“Please, oh gods, I don’t want to die!” Ria shrieked at the top of her tiny lungs, tears now flooding down her face like a torrential river. “Please, I’ll do anything you want, but just don’t eat me!”  
“Hush now, my dear, it’ll be all over soon. I’ll be gentle, I promise.”
All Ria could do was watch in utter terror as Astarion opened his mouth wide as his enormous fangs inched closer towards her trembling body. He had her now pinched in between his index finger and thumb, bringing her inside his mouth like she was some kind of tiny finger sandwich.
“Oh fuck, no, please, no!” Ria screamed at the top of her lungs as the front half of her body entered the vampire’s mouth. She thrashed in the vampire’s grip, but it was utterly useless – she had no strength over the giant man. Closing her eyes, her lip trembled, as she slowly began to accept her fate. There was nothing more that she could do. This was the end for her.
“ASTARION!”
A loud, unfamiliar voice pierced the still night air, and Astarion quickly removed Ria from inside his mouth. She immediately felt Astarion tighten his grip around her body as a man emerged into the moonlight. The man had shoulder length brown hair, with purple robes and his jawline was brushed with stubble.
Astarion immediately made a face of pure disgust. “Hello, Gale.”
“What in the gods name are you doing?” The man, Gale, stepped forward. He quickly noticed the tiny borrower that was enclosed in Astarion’s fist. His gaze flickered back to the pale elf with anger.
“Astarion, is that a borrower in your hand?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Astarion said, hiding Ria behind his back so that she was out of Gale’s sight. “A borrower? Can’t say I’ve heard of them before.”
Gale exhaled a frustrated sigh. “Astarion, stop with the bullshit. I saw one in your hand. What were you going to do to them?”
“H-HELP-!“ Ria managed to choke out before she was smothered by Astarion’s cold fingers closing around her tiny form.
“Hand the borrower over, Astarion, or do I have to use magic to get you to cooperate?” Gale persisted, his anger quickly rising.
Astarion pouted like a child handing over stolen candy. “Fine, take her. I wasn’t going to eat her, if that’s what you’re so worried about.” He brought Ria out from behind his back and opened his palm, revealing the tiny borrower.
“He absolutely was going to eat me!” Ria retorted. 
“You were going to eat her?” The wizard gaped, quickly moving Ria from Astarion’s hand onto his. “For fuck’s sake, Astarion, we told you that you aren’t allowed to feed from people, only animals!”
“Fine, so what if I was?” Astarion exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. “Besides, borrowers hardly count as people! They’re no different from halflings or gnomes, they’re just smaller.”
“We’re going to have a chat once we’re back at camp,” Gale pinched the bridge in between his nose with his free hand. “I’m so sorry about him. Did he harm you?”
Ria was almost at a loss for words. She was still shaking from everything that had happened. Swallowing back her chattering nerves, she craned her neck to look up at the wizard. “T-thank you, he didn’t hurt me, well, he almost did, but…” Her gaze drifted over to the cuts across her limbs from the thornbush. “I do have these cuts, but they weren’t from him.”
Gale noticed her wounds and glared daggers at Astarion. “I hardly believe that it wasn’t him that did this to you, but I’ll take your word for it. I can take you back to our camp, our cleric, Shadowheart, will have those wounds healed in no time.” He smiled warmly at her. “I’m Gale, but I suppose you already know that. What’s your name?”
“I’m Ria,” she answered thickly, her body still trembling. “A-and thank you, I appreciate all your help.”
“Oh no, it’s the least I can do after the trauma my friend most likely put you through. Let’s get going.” Gale’s fingers enclosed around her frame protectively, and she could almost hear Astarion’s eyes roll into the back of his head as they walked through the forest. Whatever happened next, she prayed that the rest of Gale’s friends were nothing like Astarion.
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familyabolisher · 3 months
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But Don Quixote’s names and actions hide a much bigger secret. Following Todorov, there is a double movement toward and away from the revelation. In the end, all that can be said is that the play of genre and narrative may point to a specific hidden mystery, one that deals with a clash of civilizations and the anxieties it causes the protagonist. This secret both complements and contrasts with the vision of a knight as a ghostly Charles V. Don Quixote as a new Charles is deprived of all power except that of the imagination as he rides through the genres. He personifies an emperor who upon abdication has become ‘the ghost of all power.’ While the emperor repeatedly walks the halls of the monastery thinking of his past achievements and hollow present, the knight rides through an impoverished Spain, seeking the power that Charles discarded, only to find visions less substantial than his emaciated body. It may be that his haunting is there to warn those who sympathize with the knight that the imperial pursuits of the narrative are flawed, that the secret must be revealed. Indeed, the narrative is filled with ghosts that haunt the text and the knight. We may recall that Derrida has fostered the study of what he calls ‘hauntology’ (1994, 10). I will use the ghostly in a different manner, seeking to glimpse at the mysteries that hide between worlds and between genres. In a sense, this study comes closer to Todorov’s view of the ghosts in Henry James, who are interpreted as part of the secret of narrative. While no one (except Sancho) really believes in Don Quixote’s ghosts, he does, creating a kind of hesitation in the novel that points to Todorov’s notion of the fantastic. But the ghosts in the novel are there to point to an absence, to that which is missing and cannot be fully recaptured: ‘the core of a story will often be an absence . . . and its quest will be the only possible presence’ (1977, 184). Although we are delighted by the permutations of Don Quixote’s quest, and we may even laugh at the ghostly appearances in the novel, there are secrets here that defy disclosure. As Todorov argues: ‘In order for this ever-absent cause to become present, it must be a ghost’ (1977, 154). Don Quixote is surrounded by the absent, by ghosts, as he unwittingly conceals the secrets of the narrative. But the novel makes his exploits even more mysterious. If Don Quixote stands for a ghostly Charles V, then what we have is a near impossibility – a ghost that is being haunted by other ghosts.
[…] Ghosts also have another important use: to whisper a secret from the past, an awful event that returns them to a world now alien to them. Two examples will suffice: Hamlet’s ghost comes to warn the prince of a terrible secret. We may read of a haunting similar to Shakespeare’s in a play ascribed to Lope de Vega, Dineros son calidad. These hollow beings impel the living to action. And this is precisely what happens in Don Quixote, although the ghosts’ whispers are never heard. Throughout part 1, we hear incessantly about ghosts. In chapter 17 the goings-on at the inn are attributes to Moorish ghosts; in chapter 19 a funeral procession in the night seems like a ghostly apparition; and in chapter 20 a clanging of chains make both Sancho and Don Quixote think they are in a ghost story. These ghosts that haunt Don Quixote could well be visions created by the excess of melancholy. Although this partially explains his imaginings, it says nothing of the secret they have come to reveal. This is the mystery that will never be told, preserving the essential absence as key to the text. At the same time, it is possible to build a theory overlaying absence; it is possible to trace the figures on the carpet, the whispers of the ghosts. These ghosts that pursue the ghostly knight are also ghosts of a Christian empire that seeks to subject and exorcise the other.
Frederick A. de Armas, 'Pillars of Genre, Ghosts of Empire: An Introduction,' from Don Quixote Among the Saracens: A Clash of Civilisations and Literary Genres
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elvenbeard · 4 months
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WIP Whenever
I was tagged by @chevvy-yates @katsigian @genocidalfetus @just-a-cybercroissant @therealnightcity @pinkyjulien and @ouroboros-hideout (by some of you forever ago, I'm just in the middle of catching up with all the recent tags a bit XD) And tagging you all right back and everyone else who's reading this right now >:3c
My biggest WIP at the moment is still apartment renovations! Fixing holes and painting walls, but there's now only one corner left, then I'm fucking done and it can't sublty stress me anymore xD
I am having a real good time with the whole process though like... I have no idea yet how long I'm gonna live here, but no matter if it's 3, 5, 10 years, I sure as hell want it to be a cool place for the time being.
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My kitty-approved Neo-Kitsch inspired Bedroom wall xD only that one wall, but I love it xD
Writing-wise, I've started the next chapter of "Love is Stored in the Olive Jar". I don't have much to share yet, but here's the opening lines:
V awoke coughing and choking, sputtering a red cloud across his pillow. He quickly sat up, his throat tight and scratchy, mouth like copper. His vision was blurry, he thought from sleep still at first, but no. Through visual glitches and blinding pain he could only just make out the dark red stains dripping from his nose and mouth onto the bedsheet. He gasped for air still, his chest hurting as if he had been stabbed.
Fun times :D
Art-wise I have been working on a secret gift for the cp2077 new year's exchange that I finished the other day :3 And I have some wips of the bois (TM) but I can only share one on tumblr for reasons:
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Very professional photo of my iPad screen XDD This is still rough and subject to change, but the idea was basically, V and Kerry, a bunch of years post-2077 (like... 5-10 or so), just very comfy and happy and healthy ;__;
VP-wise I still have a couple of pics on the backburner, some I still wanna edit, and maaan ;__; I also recently got to test some friends' mods that I'm super excited for and share the pics of!!! <3
Aaaand... that's it XD I hope in the new year I can dive back into modding, once the renovations are done, and also get started with more regular commissions and streaming again, cause I've been missing both but yeah... you see my list of projects above, there's only so much time in a day xD
Thank you all again for the tags <33
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harryleatherfit · 1 year
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🌆 Upper East Side 🌆
f!reader x frankie morales
~~~Series Master List~~~
an acting AU full of desire and passion
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Summary: It’s your last year of acting school at UNCSA. You and your best friend Laylah decide to transfer to NYU Tisch for your senior years. Not knowing it yet, but your talent is world firing. As a lone soul in NYC, you meet an enticing man that will utterly change your life forever. Mr Morales… but he’s also your professor.
Status: Ongoing
Trope: Teacher/Student : Soulmate : Slowish burn
Rating: Explicit (18+)
Word Count: 55k
Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader (no y/n)
Warnings: Explicit, Mature, lots of sex (sns🙌) family emotional abuse, physical abuse, bullying, legal age gap (reader 22 frankie 42), squirting, v fingering, (Minors DNI)
Let me know if I’ve missed any so far! I’ll add on as I post chapters.
I may or may not add an FC but imagine her how you would like! Here’s the “aesthetic”I vision for her, but seriously feel free to see her as anything. For the reader, I just vision someone golden, an old soul and just human
🪩Main Master List🪩
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** indicates smut
Chapter 1: The Letter
Chapter 2: Classes
Chapter 3: Guest Star
Chapter 4: Monologue
Chapter 5: Audition
Chapter 6: The Box**
Chapter 7: Call
Chapter 8: The Booth**
Chapter 9: Voice Lesson**
Chapter 10: Hands**
Chapter 11: Opening Night**
Chapter 12: Closing Night**
Chapter 13: After Party
Chapter 14: Halloween**
Chapter 15: TBA
Chapter 16: TBA
more coming soon🫣
——
so far in the story i’ve written up to a little before halloween and the whole fic will be the whole school year so this may very well be 40 chapters long or 25 with time jumps. we’ll see but definitely chapters on holidays, conflict chapters ofc (met gala, oscar’s??). cant wait for more🗝️🗝️
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redfoxwritesstuff · 2 months
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Sunflower: Book 1, Chapter 9
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Tom Hiddleston x OFC Series rated: M Chapter warnings: Tom sticks his foot in his mouth some? AN: Chicks have survived! We ordered 4, got 5 and they all hatched on V day and have Vday themed names. Chapter 8, Masterlist, Chapter 10 ~~~~~<3 “Let me be clear- I am committed for at least a year or until death. We’re married. I do not take that lightly.” It drove him mad that he had to keep saying it. When would she believe that it was more than just a whim? 
“Tom-”
“Part of being married is the sharing of resources and caring for each other. I care for you and I care for her. You don’t have to care about me- it would be nice but that may come in time.”
“What if you change your mind? What then?” 
Mia felt like screaming. She felt like running. She felt like crying. She felt like reaching out to him for comfort. Instead she sat stone still and board straight. 
“What if I let you find us some magical Las Vegas apartment, get us moved and three months from now you get tired of your secret American family and stop paying the rent?”
“I-” It was her turn to cut him off. 
“You’re right- I can’t afford anything better. I can’t afford food until Monday. If I let you in, let you change our lives and then you change your mind? We end up homeless. Hell, I can only afford this damn apartment because we’ve been there so long.” 
“I wouldn’t-”
“How do I know that? How can I trust that?” Mia’s frustration grew when her vision waved as her eyes grew teary. “You think I don’t want to give you a chance because you’re ugly or cruel or something. Any woman would die for this chance but I can’t. I’ve got a little girl who relies on me.” 
She harshly wiped away a tear that had the nerve to slip from her eye. 
“If I take a gamble and it’s a bust, she gets hurt. She ends up homeless. She ends up in state custody. She gets her heart broken too.” 
“I didn’t think of it that way.” 
She scoffed at him and he bristled at that, opening his mouth to try and defend himself. She started again before he had a chance to say anything though. 
“It’s my job to think of that. How can I trust a stranger, even a stranger I married on a whim, to not let some little girl who he’s known for even less time become homeless. How can I trust that you’re not going to suck her into your charm, make her see you as a father then walk away?”
“I don’t want to push her to see me as a father.” That was the easiest point to focus on first. “If that happens, it happens naturally. I’m not going to pretend that we don’t have a lot of things to decide on, to plan and work out but that will take time.”
Creeping fingers slid a few inches more. He wiggled his finger tips against hers, lacing them together. She didn’t pull away and he took that as a good sign.
 “Tom,”
“If I find an apartment- something modest but without gaps in the doors or maintenance crews that help themselves to tenant’s groceries, if I were to pay the lease up front for the year, would you consider it?”
“This is my life-” People would say she was using him, she knew that as much as she knew her name. 
“No, Mia- not any more.” His voice was soft, devoid of the harshness that had crept in. “It’s our life now. We get to decide what that looks like. We will go over what bills we’ll have, we’ll work together and come up with a plan that makes you feel safe and lets me feel assured that the two of you are safe.”
“I don’t want to use you.” She wanted to accept. 
Glancing at Sally, she knew for her daughter this sort of chance at financial security may never come again. If she allowed Tom to take care of them, even if things didn’t work out she could save her checks. 
“If I’m offering, insisting and fighting you to allow it, is that using me?”
“I’ll think about it, alright?” Mia ran her hand through her hair, scarping her nails along her scalp. “It’s just- It’s a lot, really fast.”
“I know.” 
~~~~~<3
She stood in the kitchen crying. There were boxes scattered in the living room to be taken to the trash later. Tom was upstairs reading who knows how many bedtime stories to Sally.
It felt weird to not be the one putting her to sleep. It felt good to have someone to help with simple tasks like bedtime. 
If she wasn’t careful, she could get used to this.
Realizing the refrigerator and freezer both had been standing open while she cried, for how long was anyone’s guess, she closed it. It was overwhelming, seeing the full shelves. Tom had kept his word, stocking the kitchen in a way she had never been able to do before. 
There were drinks and snacks. Brand new pest proof bins held rice, flour, sugar and dried pastas. A electric kettle sat on her counter and a variety of teas were stacked next to her coffee pot. 
Things for him. Things for her husband. 
“Are you alright?” Tom asked softly from the foot of the stairs. “She’s asleep.” 
Mia couldn’t do anything but nod at first. 
“It’s just a lot.” She said weakly. Everything was hitting her now. Regardless of if she wanted to or not, she was going to have herself a good cry right now.
“Is it?” Tom wasn’t sure what to say as he approached. 
“No one’s ever- I’ve never. We’ve never had this much before.”
Tom moved slow, giving her chance after chance to tell him to back up, to stop, to give her space or go away. Large hands rested on her shoulders as he looked down to her.
 “Does he not provide for his daughter?” That was a question that had been rattling around in his brain since he saw the picture. 
“He’s supposed to pay child support but he hasn’t in over a year. It’s just been me and when Ashley can, she’ll help.”
Slowly, Tom pulled her to his chest. “It’s okay.” He soothed. 
It felt good to be held by him. The moment stretched on as she tried to keep her tears to a minimum. “I’m sorry.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked as she pulled herself away from him. 
There were things to do and crying in his arms wasn’t something on her schedule. 
~~~~~<3
They sat, cups of tea on the small table in front of them. Tom flipped through apartment listings only to have every single option turned down. Frustration built in him with each apartment, nice and basic, turned down. “Why? They’re all nicer than this place.” 
She sat in silence as he took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. It wasn’t her intention but she was being difficult. 
“I’m sorry.” And she was, to a degree. “It’s just so much.’ 
“I’m just going to pick some and we’ll look.” Tom decided, locking his phone and setting it facedown on the table in front of them. “There’s still a lot to decide. We can put the utilities on auto pay so you don’t-”
“I don’t want you to pay for everything.” It would be better to just shut up and let him pay everything, she knew that. It would allow her to save more for when this inevitably falls apart but she just couldn’t make herself feel okay doing it. “Let me at least keep the electric and internet- the electric will vary during the year and the internet isn’t a necessity.”
“I can send money for groceries-” 
“If I’m not paying rent, groceries shouldn’t be a problem.” 
For the first time in their marriage, they sat and talked into the night. The topics were not fun ones. They talked of financial histories, debts, education and potential future earnings. They talked about the cost of managing their individual households.
Tom wasn’t rich in the realm of his career but compared to her, he was far more financially secure. And unlike her, his career was ramping up and reaching for the sky. Tom swore to her, regardless of what direction his career took, if their attempt at a marriage did not work he would not leave her financially hurt but she struggled still to put faith in him.
~~~~~<3
Midnight quickly approached and Mia’s yawns were coming more and more frequently. They were so different in backgrounds that simply learning about each other’s past ate up more of the night.
“You should go to bed.” Tom’s hand reached out for hers. “It’s been a long day.”
“You’ve been up just as long as me.” Mia countered though she still stood up, slipping her hand out from under his. 
“I need to be up a bit longer yet.” He wanted nothing more than to go up to bed though. “I’ve got to make some calls back home. Face the music and take my licks.” 
“Are you in trouble with someone?” 
“No, not really.” Tom thought twice about his answer after he said it. “Probably but hopefully he’s cooled off by now. My publicist wasn’t so happy with me. I blocked him after breakfast yesterday.”
“He knows about-?” She waved her hand to try and encompass the whole situation.
“Yeah, at least some of it.” 
“I didn’t know you told anyone yet.” It was weird. They had built their relationship, small as it was, in a bubble where in a lot of ways he was just a normal man who was caught up in a Las Vegas situation fit for a Lifetime movie.
“I didn’t.” 
Tom knew he needed to face reality head on. Luke would tell him how important it was to get ahead of the story and now it’s been two days. 
“There are pictures of us at a bar and of me with you in your gown. I don’t know how much the world knows but I did tell Luke about our marriage.” 
“It would be better for you if we didn’t do this.” Mia felt the earth tilting under her feet as what he was inched in again. 
“Maybe, but that’s not something I want to change.” 
Mia had so many questions but she didn’t know how to voice any of them. “Marriage records here are public,” was all she could think to say. 
“That’s not a problem- I was planning on telling the truth. Or at least a version of it.”
“What’s that mean?” 
“I like to keep my private life private. We’ll probably present us as something recent but not same day recent.”
“Should I stay up too?” Mia didn’t know what her role in this would be. 
Tom stood and walked over to where she lingered by the stairs. He was touched at how she had opened up to him, slight though it was. It was there, he could feel it- the little buds that could maybe grow into the roots of a real marriage. 
Reaching out, he took her hand in his. These small acts of affection were easier to accept each time they happened but it was clear they still left her uncomfortable. It still very much felt like pretend to her. Mia struggled to believe he felt anything but duty in them. 
“Go on up to bed. I’ll be up as soon as I get done.” 
~~~~~<3
~~~~~<3
Stand still. 
Stand straight. 
Write slow and careful. 
Be neat. 
Breathe. 
Mia checked and double checked her spelling on the form. She sucked on a breath mint, feeling like she was a teenager again trying not to get caught. If they didn’t pull this part off, the cards would come crashing down.
When she was sure, through the muddy sludge of her alcohol steeped mind, she handed the form to Tom. He filled his portion out just as methodically. Every time he would glance up at her, his concentration was broke by a wide grin. 
He was an old hand at filling out forms. Muscle memory took care of what Mia had spent ages overthinking. 
She followed his lead as they returned to the counter. Identification was handed over and then it was time to wait. They stood stoic and still. Every bone in their body wanted to dance, to move and to be in the moment. 
Toms fingers wove through hers. He placed a chaste kiss on the back of her hand. Softly, he told her things that went in one ear and out the other, lost in the sound of blood rushing. 
“Here’s your packet. Identification is inside it.” The woman behind the counter sounded like she was reading from the dictionary to Mia. 
But not how Tom would sound reading from one. Tom would somehow sound breathtaking reading a dictionary. 
“Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.” 
“Thank you,” Tom said before leaning down and kissing Mia on her cheek. 
They had pulled it off. The woman either didn’t notice or simply didn’t care that the two standing in front of her were not just intoxicated but very intoxicated. This was the one test they had to pass and they did.
“We’re going to get married.” Mia leaned into Tom’s arm as they walked out of the building and into the magical night lights. 
“Let’s go make you Mrs. Hiddleston.” Tom whispered, grin wide was he wrapped his arm around her waist. 
“Let’s go get married.” She smiled up at him, trusting him to guide her safely. 
Tom couldn’t help but glance down at the woman tucked into his side. The flashing lights reflected off her warm brown hair and danced in her eyes. 
He felt something he had never felt before when he looked at her, when she smiled up at him. It could just be the alcohol but he didn’t think so. In his heart, he knew what he felt was a love pure and simple. It was a love he had been chasing and seeking since he had become a man. 
It was a love he needed logic and fear to step aside for him to see clearly. 
Love was waiting for him, he had to just be willing to see it. 
~~~~~<3
Tag List: @winterisakiller, @alexakeyloveloki, @jennyggggrrrr, @dangertoozmanykids101, @tilltheendwilliwrite @tinchentitri @wizardcherryblossom @buttercupcookies-blog @violethaze @kats72 @soulpiercing
Ps: Sorry not sorry for the blog getting flooded in the next few weeks with baby chicken pictures, occasional dog videos and personal nonsense. Simply put, my pets are fucking cute and need to be seen. But also spring is coming and planting season is quickly approaching.
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makrokosmuss-blog · 1 year
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A Masterlist
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Hello. It’s me.  I’ve compiled a small little Masterlist. There isn’t much on it yet but maybe it helps someone out.  I mainly write on Star Wars over here, but you can also find me writing for Attack on Titan, Assassins Creed and some other things on Ao3. I’ll soon be publishing full works of some of the stories listed below on there as well.  You can find me @ NeonDaemon  Much Love, hope you enjoy! ~ the Demon
                                                       Star Wars 
King of Mandalore series unnamed reader/character is helping the mandalorian train his foundlings abilities in the force. Strange visions and calling of the force is driving the two of them towards each other.  Authors note: “A bit of spice, longing and pining made into a story.” Part I - The Mandalorian falling hard for you would include… There were only two, and exactly two situations in Din Djarin’s life in which he was incapable of finishing a contract. The first one was when he looked into a pair of the sweetest brown eyes he had ever seen and saw his young-foundling self in them. The second was when he laid eyes on the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and landed, subsequently, on his back, on the ground, speechless and with his heart hammering wildly against his chest. Part II - The Mandalorian having a crush on you would include... Feelings arise. A Mandalorian learns many things, crafts many abilities to perfection, conveying and dealing with emotions is not one of them.  Part III - Losing you nearly After getting attacked out of the blue, your usually so stoic Mandalorian loses all composure as he fears for your survival.  Part IV - Soft for you  You had a rough day and it turns out your Mandalorian is capable of so much more care and softness than you’d ever expected. Part V - Reminder  After having found a teacher for his Foundling Din Djarin feels lost and overwhelmed by the duties that have been bestowed upon him. You are the one to stand by him in a time that seems all too dark, turning it all around. Even if it's all longing, memories and fantasies.
Mandalorian shorts/requests To see me A head wound can be fatal for a Mandalorian. To not reveal ones face contrasting strictly with a pain that needs to be treated. Yet Din finds himselfs a savior - and is himself shocked at how much his touch starved soul enjoys each and every caress of soft hands.
Obi Wan Kenobi A steaming, hot bath Obi Wan relaxes in a steaming hot empty bath hall at night, expecting some alone time. So does Reader, walking into him. 
Viscer In the midst of battle Ahsoka, Anakin and Obi Wan feel something disrupting the force - when Obi Wan confronts the menace, he discovers more than he had bargained for. A certain Sith is looking for a way to the light, and who could be better suited than the handsome Sith-slayer himself. Nothing left but to hope that nobody gets cut in half... Authors note: “This is a...pretty long series that i might put on ao3 or here, if it’s asked for! I’ve wrote about 10 chapters, put I haven’t published them yet...” Poe Dameron  Poe having a crush on you would include... Authors note: “Fluffy lovy dovy piece to relax to.” Part I       Part II      Part III
Sharing a room with Poe would include...
Poe being your best friend would include...
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Vision Wielders Reworked
Series by Aces Archon Quest/OnlyAceishere
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Chapter I:
Kaeya: Knaenri'ah character done better
Third times the charm, am I right? Right? No no im not.
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The Mondstadt Cryo sword unit. Where to begin?
Most people would agree that Kaeya has a decent kit for a starter but I still think a Knaenri'ah character can be done better and that's my goal today
Im here to do Kaeya better
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Normal Attack
Ceremonial Bladework
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Remains the same 5 hit combo it always is.
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Element Skill
Frosty Favonuis Scythe
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Kaeya unleashes a scythe from Knaenri'ah and gains a 15% Physical DMG bonus but drains his HP but 25% per use
Defense is also reduced but 10% until the skill is disabled
Replaces his normal attack with a 5 hit Physical DMG scythe combo
Elemental Burst can be cast during Frosty Favonuis Scythe
Max CD: 30s
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Elemental Burst
Glacial Waltz
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Kaeya summons 3 icicles that deal Cryo DMG to opponents who touch them
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CD: 15s
Energy Cost: 60
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Ascension Passive abilities
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Passive I: Frozen Blood
Each Crit hit of the Frosty Favonuis Scythe combo regenerates 2% of Kaeya's HP
Passive II: Icy Rage
Upon casting Glacial Waltz, Kaeya gains a 3% Cryo DMG bonus per icicle
When Constellation VI is unlocked the bonus icicle will be included
Utility Passive:
Decreases sprinting stamina consumption by 20% when Kaeya is in the party
Does not stack with utility passives with the same perk
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Constellation: Pavo Ocellus
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Constellation I: Blood Lust
If Kaeya finishes either his Normal Attack combo or Frosty Favonuis Scythe combo with a Crit hit, the next combo has its Crit rate increased by 5%
Constellation II: Never Ending Performance
When Glacial Waltz is active, for each opponent defeated, its base duration is increased by 2.5s, up to a maximum of 15s.
Constellation III: Dance of Knaenri'ah Eclipse
Increases the level of Frosty Favonuis Scythe by 3. Max upgrade level is now 15.
Constellation IV: Frost Kiss
Increases HP regenerated in "Frozen Blood" Passive by 2%
Passive now does:
Each Crit hit of the Frosty Favonuis Scythe combo regenerates 4% of Kaeya's HP
Constellation V: Frostbiting Embrace
Increases the level of Glacial Waltz by 3. Max upgrade level is now 15.
Constellation VI: Glacial Whirlwind
Glacial Waltz will generate 1 additional icicle, and will regenerate 15 Energy when cast
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Chapter I, Kaeya: Knaenri'ah character done better
Complete.
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I may have made him a bit op but this was my first attempt so Im giving myself a pass
I contemplated adding a team comp section but idk
If anyone wants to make their own team comp for Scythe form Kaeya that's completely fine just tag me in it or something idk
If this reaches anyone interested that is
I wrote this three times in two weeks because the first copy was ready to post but deleted
The second copy didn't save and this one is the third
I had fun but suffered
Definitely gonna do this again
Every installment will be tagged with vision wielders reworked
so that way they're all easy to find
All Pictures and Gifs were downloaded from the Genshin Impact fandom wiki
Thank you for reading and reaching the end
Goodbye now
-Ace Archon
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Get to know the mun
what’s your phone wallpaper: 
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/more a lock screen that comes with a custom theme i put on, nowadays I don't really put on wallpapers, but this is adorable
last song you listened to: Alien ant farm- Smooth Criminal....I am in a certain mood okay
currently reading: Quite a few manga, trying to finish a single novel and failinggg
last movie: John Wick Chapter 4, it was pretty enjoyable and  honestly the ending was nice.
last show: Finished The Extraordinary Attorney Woo, sweet  as heck highly recommend it. Right now watching Sweet Tooth~
what are you wearing right now: just simple black and white sweater with pair of slacks :>
piercings/tattoos: Two small tattoos, a clover on left wrist and a tribal cat on my right shoulder which was a 20th bday gift from my mom. I am planning to get another tattoo related to Discworld series.
glasses? contacts?: Nope my vision is good, just sometimes I dont pay attention and pretend to be poor sighted >V>;;;;
last thing you ate?: A Danish pastry from bakery~
favourite colour: I’m more into softer colors nowadays, like forest green, lavender, cream/brown etc :>
current obsession: Mooooostly true crime or horror stories especially on channels like Lazy Masquerade, Rotten Mango and similar, also recommend these two esp second one the girl is a great story teller!
do you have a crush right now?:  Weeeelll been with my husband for 10 years, reckon we are doing fine :D 
favourite fictional character: Ahhh lets see Vash the Stampede, Law, Hawks, JOSEPH JOESTAR,  Kishibe Rohan, Gyro Zeppeli, Arataki Itto, Mashle, Gabimaru the Hollow ,Yamada Asaemon Saigir, Izumi Curtis, Sofia the Goldenhand..............*coughs*
Tagged by @videcoeur thanks babe!! <3
Tagging: @heavenlyborne @erxsxre @cxnsolatio @needlenxggin​ @mannequinentity​ and anyone else who wanna joinn
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firstprince-ao3feed · 5 months
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our world mine and his alone (the midnight train to go)
our world, mine and his alone (the midnight train to go) https://ift.tt/DjnYIde by firenati0n The posh accent hit Alex first, and he felt something curl in his gut. One of his amygdala brain worms did a little wiggle. He was unprepared for what was to come. A pair of criminally long legs entered his vision, effectively vaporizing most of the brain worms (that's a first), except for the ones slowly starting to chant shoulders and thighs and hair and legs and thighs and Alex couldn’t do a goddamn thing to stop his increasingly horny train of thought. All trains had left the station. Or, Alex asks a stranger to crack his back like a glow stick. Or, an overnight train meet-cute. Words: 2970, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Meet-Cute, Trains, Strangers to Lovers, alex shamelessly flirts just to watch henry blush, and henry is v on board with that, gross overuse of italics, Bisexual Disaster Alex Claremont-Diaz, the author did far too much research on parts of the brain for this, so now you gotta learn too, brain worms as an extended writing device, way too many euphemisms, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Humor, i have several regrets but alex's horniness is never one of them, this is the author's first fic and she is mildly (very) terrified via AO3 works tagged 'Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor' https://ift.tt/u46w2m9 December 09, 2023 at 10:17PM
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lore-gore · 6 months
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Little Nightmares: Endless Nightmares Au
Chapter One v. 2 (Draft)
A Dream Within a Dream
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow:
You are not wrong who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
Edgar Allan Poe
-
There were so many missing posters hung up that you couldn't even see the fence.
They covered the chain link, overlapping, blanketing it in melancholy.
A breeze whistled past like an eerie tune, causing them to flutter.
MISSING
Name: Low [REDACTED]
Date of Disappearance: [Last Year]
Gender: Male
Age: 10
Description: Black. Average height with a thin build. Dark skin. Black afro styled in wicks. Last seen wearing a tan long-sleeve shirt, brown shorts, and a red and blue bracelet around his right ankle.
MISSING
Name: Mono [REDACTED]
Date of Disappearance: [This Year]
Gender: Male
Age: 10
Description: White. Short with a thin build. Pale skin. Short brown hair with bangs. Last seen wearing a khaki trench coat, a brownish-gray shirt and brownish-gray pants.
MISSING
Name: Six [REDACTED]
Date of Disappearance: [This Year]
Gender: Female
Age: 9
Description: Asian. Short with a thin build. A bit underweight. Pale skin. Black hair styled in a bob with bangs. Last seen wearing a yellow raincoat with a pointed hood.
-
The night she disappeared, Six dreamed of eyes.
Hundreds of giant eyes, opening one by one before fixing their gaze upon her.
And as she dreamt, she sank into the mattress.
She sank and sank, and then:
She was gone.
Version one of this draft with a different set of missing posters can be found here:
Info about the au here:
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cinnamonm00n · 1 year
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Skate on the Melted Ice
Chuuya x (fem)reader
Chapter II <<< Chapter III >>> Chapter IV
A Soft Place to Land
Reader P. O. V
"Don't stress so much Y/N-chan~" Dazai put a hand on my shoulder "You'll be just fine, trust me!"
Like hell I will, Dazai...
Walking beside Dazai after practice, on our shared route home, was when I realized what the problem of talented people was.
They don't know how to speak to the less talented.
Just how Dazai didn't know what to say to me.
I couldn't really blame him for it, or anyone for that matter. It wasn't his duty to comfort me, nor to understand what it was like to have a dream but no means of achieving it.
Sometimes it felt like watching everyone gracefully jump over a wall, you kept banging your head into.
Dazai removed his hand from my shoulder and lightly chuckled to himself. I nuzzled my nose in the wool my scarf as we got closer to the train station.
The snowflakes poking whit dots in my filed of vision. 
"Thanks, Dazai..." 
Soon we ended up on the bench near the railway, waiting. 
On my right side, in my peripheral Dazai's eyes kept boring into me.
He stared so densely I whipped my head at him questioningly.
But I wasn't what he was staring at...
"Y/N...." 
"Yeah?"
"How long until the bus?" 
I check my phone.
"10 minutes. "
Dazai starts to slide off the bench. Noises coming from a flock of his fangirls on the other end of the street. 
"Shit..." I get up with him "Let's run!" 
The two of us run the opposite way.
Praying to any higher power that the fangirls wouldn't catch us. 
- || - 
The doors fall shut behind my sweaty back. 
My jacket and scarf were sticking to me from running away with Dazai.
He promised me coffee as a thank you for being his partner in crime, but I knew wouldn't see a single c of that coffee. 
Oh, well... 
My swollen hands worked on getting the clothes off me as I shuffled around through the cold hallway. 
"Hi... I'm home!" 
My words fell empty on the shadows across my apartment. 
Slimy warmth of my sweat met with the icy breeze cutting around me as I walked into my bedroom. Gross.
With my swollen fingertips I begin to fumble around with the heater, my only current source of warmth.
I pressed and flicked the stubborn switches and buttons, when...
"FUCK!" 
The heater sparked up, soon dying in it's own smoke. 
"You know what, fuck you!" I spit my frustration on the dead heater and go back to the hallway to grab my coat, strangling it in my fist of anger like I want to choke it. 
Slamming the door behinde me, I run outside of the building.
Power walking through the dark city, I stopped when I reached the first traffic light.
Then a thought hit my like lighting.  
Fuck, I forgot to lock the doors! 
I turned around and hurried back to my building.
  - || - 
My soft place. 
My soft place to rest my wings shone in front of me. 
If I ignore the 45 minutes it takes me to get here I love it. So much.
Cobbled pathway echoes under my boots as I hike up to the little wodden cabin in the oak trees.
Reaching for the gateway to the cabins garden I stop to admire the rustle of the trees and the promising warm light from the windows.
The poetic scenery luring me in like a poet, I get to the front door.
"Nana you here?" I peep my head into the hallway.
"Little one!? Is that you?" 
I step inside and take off my coat and hat, walking into the softly light entrance. Finally someplace warm.
"It's me Nana!"
My nana stepped out of the kitchen. Two jiggly warm arms engulfing my frozen limbs. 
"Oh my Little one! How lovely to see you!"
I hug her back, letting myself fall weak as the rocks of stress tumble off me. 
Nana's hands stroke my cheeks. " Dear God! Look how pale you are! You're practically skin and bone" 
My face leans into her warm hands, time made them so gentle.
"Don't worry Nana, it takes a lot more to kill your Little one"
Her face sharpens "Cut that right there! None of this nonsense, let's go into the kitchen to get you something to eat. Come 'ere!"
Well who am I to say no to food! 
She seats my cold butt at the kitchen table and whips out a bowl of canned soup. 
Nana couldn't cook to save her life, but regardless she made food taste amazing by just being around it.
"Where's Gramps?" I ask, picking up a spoon she handed me. 
"Outside fiddling with the wood! That old mite will catch a cold if he keeps doing that every day, let me tell you that!" 
The old light in the kitchen flowed down her skin as she moved with her frustrations. 
Giggles sprinkled in my chest, as she talked.
This old couple is what all others wished to be. 
"I bet he won't, I heard he is stronger than an ox!" Gramps deep voice comes through the back door.
"Well I heard that even oxes get sick!" Nana ran toward him to shake the snow out of his beard "And you are as stubborn as one too!"
Gramps laughed at this, his eyes shifting onto me.
"Hello Y/N, haven't seen you in a while" he ruffled my hair. 
"Hi Gramps.. "
Nana mumbles something about the weather as she turns to the kitchen. Before she could leave, Gramps gently touched her shoulder.
"I'll get it myself, love. You stay here and keep Y/N company it's not like we get to see her often."
He walked of into the kitchen before Nana could complain. Seeing that she was beat she sat at the table with me again.
"It's so nice you came to visit us Little one, we missed you!" she placed her hand on top of mine "How have you been, love?"
I swallow thickly "I've been... Managble?" 
This was received with an unimpressed face from Nana. "Here you go again! Don't make me pull things out of you with twezzers, tell Nana what's wrong!" 
It didn't take much for me to untangle my tounge to her "Rough Nana, really rough..." 
As I begin to talk my heart leaks out on the table, wetting it with my sadness and fear in bitter colors. 
I talked for so long my head soon ended up on Nanas plump shoulder. My hair becoming slick with her stroking it soo much. 
"My Little one... You're pushing yourself too hard for my liking!" she raises my head "But there's something you're not telling me... It's not like you to not have a plan to fix this" 
Slowly, I nod and pull out a small notebook from my pocket. 
"I wrote my own program. I think suits me and my strengths. And I'm gonna need them a lot now, the bar has risen beyond my reach Nana... "
"Stop yourself right there! Little one if you have the will you can build a way out of air if needed!" her thumb goes down my cheek bone "And your will is stronger than you belive it. "
Saltiness pools in my eyes, teardrops catching on my lashes as I try to blink it away.
"Now quit sapping around and show Gramps your plan. The skater in him ain't retired yet!"
The love I have for Gramps boomed into pure fear. 
Into the same old fear I felt when I was still his student...
Unbeknownst to me when, he already came out of the kitchen and had stretched out his hand for the notebook. Under this silent command I gave it over. 
Gramps started inspecting it with a stone solid expression. 
"You wanna win this thing?"
He got up form the table. 
"Y-yes!" 
Gramp's eyes blissed with a youngsters shine. 
"Then get your coat and come outside. We should start now if you plan to make that happen. "
Riddled shocked I do as he says. Meeting him soon outside him already starting his old car. 
"Where we going?"
"To the rink" 
"At this hour?!"
Gramps smirks "You're lucky I know the owner" 
Chuuya P. O. V
The equipment bag and the skates hit the floor just like my energy levels hit zero. 
My muscles felt foreign to my own body. Leaving me completely helpless as I fell to my bed. 
"Fucking competition... This better be worth it!" 
I drag myself up to pour me a glass of some red wine. The only thing I could say was keeping me from jumping off the nearest bridge.  
My joy so great I didn't stop at just one glass. They went by, one after another. Making me dizzy.
That's how I ended up on my kitchen floor. Clinging to an empty bottle.
The already dark room turns pitch black when my eyelids slam into each other. 
I laid there as sleep crashed into me like lighting. 
My own sleep slipping me of into safety from the world. Into the solace, reality seems to love forbidding me from.
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elvenbeard · 8 months
Text
Fortune
Cyberpunk 2077 Fanfic
Summary: Some puzzle pieces are beginning to fall into place... Maybe there is a much more tangible reason for V's recent symptoms that cannot solely be attributed to what happened at Mikoshi? But who is involved, and who isn't... and how crazy of a coincidence was necessary to even get V on their tracks? (Post-Sun-Ending, mostly canon-compliant, Chapter 10/?, 7814 words, Kerry Eurodyne/V - notes at the end) >> Previous Chapter >> Read from the Beginning
V’s eyes snapped open the moment Kerry flicked the gear shift into park. The engine was still running when he opened the passenger side door and got of the car, stumbling more than walking. In his right hand he tightly clutched his mug containing Vik’s pills, but he briefly had to lean against the car’s hood at a sudden onset of dizziness.
“V!” Kerry called after him, rushed out of the car. They were parked right by the side entrance to Vik’s clinic. Too out in the open for V’s taste really, but it was the subtlest way in.
“Easy now…” Kerry carefully reached for his shoulder.
“I’m fine,” V panted, pushing himself upright again against Kerry’s gentle but firm grip.
“Yeah, clearly…”
“Can you open the door, please,” V gestured towards the metal gate leading to the alley behind Misty’s Esoterica. Kerry hesitated, looked him up and down. His face glitched out of V’s vision occasionally, accompanied by blinding pain. V tried not to let it show, but Kerry had seen him like this before, he saw right through any semblance of a façade he tried to uphold.
V had lost count of how many times he’d visited Vik’s clinic, but never before had he been so paralyzed by dread. Breathing hurt, his throat was dry and tight. Kerry stayed close by, one hand lingering near V at all times, ready to grab him. The alleyway was cold and dark, illuminated by green and pink and blue neon ads. The wide lattice door at the bottom of the narrow staircase was shut and Kerry slipped past V to open it for them.
“V, you don’t look good at all,” Kerry said with urgency and worry.
“Uncalled for!” V tried to joke, but his voice only came out strained, sounded weird to his own ears. Kerry didn’t laugh, instead his frown grew even deeper.
Not even two hours had passed since V had crushed the pill bottle, but his headache had increased exponentially. Despite taking a double dose of Fuentes’ painkillers, in addition to some over-the-counter stuff they’d still had at home, his brain was clawing against the inside of his skull like a feral animal trapped in a too-small cage.
“Vik?” V called into the dimly lit and quiet clinic. The TV on the corner desk was running as always, but muted. A slight gust of wind entering with them rustled the plastic tarps dividing the operating area from the rest of the clinic. The operating light was off, the monitors by the examination chair dark. No other clients or patients were here, and no Viktor in sight.
“Vik, we gotta talk!” V barked, and his voice hurt in his ears, optical glitches blurring his vision and he flinched.
No response still. V’s chest grew even tighter as they stepped further inside.
“V, c’mon, sit down,” Kerry urged, “Not sure I can catch ya if you pass out…”
V only half listened, the pain droning in his ears. But then finally quick footsteps, slashing through the silence. Viktor appeared from a corner in the back where he stored spare tech and meds.
“V… Kerry?” he said with a surprise that seemed earnest, wiping his hands on a clean rag looped into his belt. He looked them up and down, eyes lingering on the mug in V’s hand and then the little ziplock bag with pill crumbs Kerry was holding.
“What’s wrong kid, ya look terrible? C’mon sit down…”
V opened his mouth to respond… but the next thing he remembered was a screamed curse, hands tearing at his jacket, and then cold, all-encompassing darkness.
“… do the trick,” Vik’s voice was a distant blur, but at the same time his words lifted a weight from V’s chest. He gasped for air and opened his eyes.
“There we go,” Vik said, hand on V’s shoulder holding him down, “Easy now, V, easy. Lay low for a couple o’ minutes.”
V had to blink a few times against the bright lights above, Vik just a looming shadow. His heart was hammering against his sternum as he laid on his back on the hard cold ground. He realized someone held his legs propped up, was gently rubbing his thigh... Kerry knelt by his side. Vik got up and ejected the freshly used needles from his med applicator into the nearby trash can, then put the injector down by the examination chair before he returned.
“What happened?” V asked, weirdly out of breath, but much to his relief his headache had decreased to a distant throbbing that he’d manage to ignore.
“Ya went out like a light, but that’s all we know so far,” Vik said calmly.
“Scared the shit out of me ‘s whatcha did,” Kerry muttered through his teeth, and only now V managed to look up at him, fully registered the terror in his eyes, how pale and tense he was. He wanted to apologize, reach out and hold his hand, but his limbs were as heavy as the concrete floor he laid on.
“One thing’s for sure… good it happened here, and not out on the street or while ya were drivin’,” Viktor then nodded, “Kerry said you weren’t taking your meds. I injected you with a similar cocktail. Won’t last forever, shouldn’t even use it regularly. Much stronger concentration all at once, you’ll probably feel like you ran into a wall for the next few hours. And sure as hell I’ll bill ya for it, the meds cost a small fortune on their own already.”
The slight anger that swung with his words, born from worry, subsided. Vik patted him on the shoulder.
“But at least it brought you back for now.”
“Thanks, Vik…” V said and closed his eyes for a couple of moments, trying to recollect his thoughts, remember why they were at the clinic in the first place.
“Anyone wanna tell me why you’re not taking your pills by the way?” Vik then wondered out loud, beating V to breaching the topic, “And why you came walkin’ in here like a pair of loan sharks?”
V let out a deep breath.
“Um…” Kerry then said sheepishly, “V discovered somethin’ weird in the pills he’s gotten from you. We just wanna make sure it’s supposed to be in there. Know what it does.”
“Somethin’ weird?”
Kerry handed over the ziplock bag and now Viktor sighed.
“V, that stuff’s - …”
“Fuckin’ expensive, I know,” V interrupted and then opened his eyes again, looking up at Vik, “Didn’t crush them on purpose. But glad now I did.”
Viktor raised his eyebrows.
“Stay there a little while longer, I’ll have a look,” he ordered, “What… am I even lookin’ for?”
“Little metal scraps,” V said.
“Impurities?”
“You tell me once you see ‘em.”
Viktor nodded and got up to walk to his desk. V’s eyes wandered back to Kerry, who clung to his legs still.
“Been a while since that happened, huh?” V said in an attempt to ease his tension.
“Coulda done without it ever happenin’ again,” Kerry muttered.
In the background, the ziplock bag was rustling, and metallic tools scratching and clinking and scraping, giving V goosebumps. He finally regained enough control over his arms to reach up to his face, his nose, but found no fresh blood upon examining his fingertips. All things considered that at least was a relief.
Viktor hummed somewhere behind them, pensive and confused.
“Whatever that is,” he then said, “’s not s’pposed to be in your pills, no.”
“Fuck,” Kerry cursed, eyes growing wider, and V struggled to sit up.
“Woah, slowly, please,” Kerry urged but helped him, holding on and giving support. V was a lot less dizzy and in pain than before, but still thankful to have someone to lean against. Vik had a point about the “ran-into-a-wall” thing.
“Who’s your supplier?” V asked.
“Gal I’ve known for 15 years, she’s reliable,” Vik said promptly. He was sitting on his swivel chair and spun around to face V and Kerry now, the pill crumbs emptied onto a tray on his desk behind him.
“Everyone’s reliable until they’re paid enough by someone who doesn’t want them to be,” V said, calm and calculating, but Viktor shook his head.
“Not her, no. I don’t think so.”
“You seem awfully sure…” V said, tone biting, and Kerry dug his fingers into his shoulder to hold him back.
“V, I’d trust this girl with my life,” Viktor said, “We’ve got a history, just how you and I do. Goin’ back even further. She’s manufacturing this and similar stuff to order and she gets her due share. She’s built his biz up from scratch over a decade, has many buyers, she wouldn’t just throw it out the window for some extra cash.”
“Her name…”
“V…” Kerry urged.
Viktor sighed.
“Ava Jordan Lowe,” he said, “Goes by AJ, or 4cid. Not like you wouldn’t figure it out on your own anyway, sooner or later…”
Indeed, V would have Nix run a background check on this cook as soon as possible.
“What’s that stuff, the metal bits?” Kerry then changed the topic.
“I can’t say for sure,” Viktor shrugged, looking back at the tray, “Could be impurities, but no idea where they’d come from. At least I’ve never seen anythin’ like it, not this… consistent.”
“Nanites?” V then just uttered his own suspicion, and the room grew even quieter.
“Also crossed my mind,” Viktor said darkly, tightly intertwining his fingers, “And that’s way above my paygrade. We could do a quick scan though, just to make sure you’re up and running as normal.”
“I’m not,” V said, “And if it turns out it’s because someone’s been feeding me malware with the pills you said would help me…”
“Vince…” Kerry urged once more, and V closed his eyes and took another deep breath. His heart just wouldn’t stop racing.
“What do you mean?” Viktor then asked after a short pause, “You’re not doing well? Symptoms worsened, new symptoms?”
“Both. Everything.”
V gave Viktor a brief rundown of the last weeks, his feeling of detachedness, numbness, apathy. Kerry added in his risky behavior, mood swings, paranoia, everything they’d talked about and attributed to either the Relic and Mikoshi, or some sort of mind control brought on by Blue-Eyes. Even though they had no evidence for the latter yet. Just yet...
“How many pills do you have left of that batch?” Viktor then asked.
“I, uh…” V instinctively reached for his pocket, then remembered his favorite mug he used to get the pills here, “Oh no…”
“All good, it didn’t break,” Kerry soothed and reached for the mug sitting on the ground behind them still. He handed it to Viktor.
“You still got the original packaging?” he asked, and V pulled the broken bottle from his jacket’s inside pocket.
“Gimme a sec,” Viktor said and walked back to his desk, spilling the pills from the mug onto a separate tray. Then he looked at the bottle under his desk lamp.
“Yeah, definitely the one I gave ya,” he said after a couple of moments, “Has all the right markings and numbers. AJ’s thorough with that. Wouldn’t be the first time she’s been accused of selling somethin’ she didn’t make. Easier to trace stuff back to her lab like this.”
“A drug cook that makes sure her stuff can be traced back to her?” V frowned, and Vik chuckled.
“Oh, she’s so much more than a cook, V,” he said, “Told ya, she means serious biz. Used to work for Biotechnica, back in the day. Well, until she stepped on the wrong manager’s toes...”
He threw him a quick glance, and V suddenly was a child again, caught shoplifting by his scolding father.
“Can you help me up?” he quietly turned to Kerry, who supported him on the way back to his feet, then guided him over to Vik’s examination chair that had seen better days as well. He sat back down while Viktor had a closer look at the still intact pills.
“I sold you 50 last time, right?” Viktor said.
“Yeah,” V nodded, “One in the morning, one at night, one during the day only if the symptoms are particularly bad.”
“Been keeping that up?”
“Yeah… more or less… Might’ve missed one here or there. But I got someone who’s been paying very close attention I don’t.”
He smiled at Kerry, who raised his eyebrows, and gave him a soft nudge. Kerry’s shoulders dropped a little finally, some of his tension easing… but at the same time he seemed to be struggling to look him in the eyes. V’s heart stung when he remembered what he’d said about someone feeding him malware a couple of minutes ago…
“With only hope and the best intentions,” he added, only loud enough for Kerry to hear, and reached over to squeeze his hand. Kerry reluctantly looked up at him now, a sliver of a smile at the corners of his mouth, but not much more.
“Hm-mh,” Viktor hummed, immersed in his work, and not paying attention to them, “That checks out. Got 12 intact left here, plus the squashed ones, so that should’ve lasted you another week before you’d’ve come back for a refill anyway…”
He picked one of the pills up with a pair of tweezers, examined it closely under the light. Then he carefully set it aside, grabbed a scalpel, and cut it apart.
“Same impurities here…” he noted with a concerned sigh, “Outwardly, the pills look like the ones I gave you. Matchin’ AJ’s description, markings, everything. Whatever this stuff is though, it’s not what I ordered. But also, I know too little about AJ’s processes to be a hundred percent sure.”
Viktor got up from his chair and walked over to V and Kerry by the examination chair.
“Let’s do that scan. Lemme see how you’re holdin’ up,” he said.
“My personal link is, well…” V lifted his cast-covered left hand, “Long story.”
Viktor chuckled.
He pulled a cord from the other side of the chair so V could jack in via the socket in his neck. V groaned at the scratching and slight pressure of the plug. He’d never liked the sensation to begin with, but ever since Jackie had put the Relic in his neck slot, that entire part of his system had become even more sensitive to everything from electricity to touch. V sat back on the examination chair, grabbing the armrest tightly with his healthy hand. Viktor joined him by the side panel.
“Just checkin’ your systems for starters, see if we got any irregularities,” Viktor narrated everything he was doing to ease V’s tension, “Biomonitor is up to date? Any strange readings there?”
“No, all in the usual parameters,” V said, “Well… apart from my liver, but you said that could be a side effect of the pills.”
“Yeah,” Viktor nodded, “Not seeing anythin’ off just yet either...”
The scan completed after around two minutes.
“Looking good, systems up and running as they should,” Viktor said, but he sounded somewhat displeased, “No irregularities that could be caused by nanites or anythin’ like it…”
V’s heart sank. He’d been so sure Vik would find something…
“But that’s with my limited means here. I know you don’t wanna get involved with even more doctors after the last few times but…”
“We’re onto it,” V said flatly, and Viktor paused for a second.
“Good, good,” he was unable to suppress the surprise in his voice, “If you wanna I can do a simple preliminary brain scan. Could be bad news either way though.”
V sighed.
“Let’s get it over with, see where we’re at.”
Viktor nodded and got up to prepare the brain scan. Kerry watched everything from a little distance, arms crossed, brow furrowed. V held out his hand, and after a moment of hesitation Kerry stepped closer again and took it. Viktor lowered the actual scanning device onto V’s head and adjusted its exact position. They’d done a scan at the hospital just after his accident, with better tech than Vik’s, but V still wanted to hear his trusted Ripper’s opinion. He’d been regularly looking at his brain and implants for the better part of a decade now, he’d be more likely to notice small differences than Fuentes or anyone else.
“Alright, keep as still as possible, you know the drill,” Viktor said, and V closed his eyes as the scan began, clutching Kerry’s hand. Despite it all, he was uncertain whether he hoped the images would show something new or not.
After around five minutes the scan was complete and Viktor freed him of the device again, helped him jack out, and V eagerly slipped out of the chair. Neither him nor Kerry nor Viktor said a word as the computer still processed the scan. Kerry retreated to his corner again, arms crossed and lost in thought. V began to pace around, up and down the clinic, still slightly wobbly on his feet. He got another glimpse at the tiny metallic splinters on the tray of pill dust. If they were nanites, what where they programmed to do? He sure as hell did not get the impression they were healing his damaged, dying nervous system. But if not, what else could they be? A chemical reaction, some sort of crystals forming that just looked like metal? Just regular impurities after all, introduced by the cook on accident?
“Alright, let’s see,” Viktor announced the completion of the scan, as usual.
“Fuck…” Kerry muttered under his breath, not quite daring to approach the screen. V walked back to Viktor and looked over his shoulder.
“Here’s the old scar tissue from the bullet,” Viktor pointed out a large, dark area on the right side of the brain, “Lemme superimpose some older pics… No big changes, but also not unexpected, since we’re currently mostly trying to keep you stable.”
V swallowed and nodded.
“Other side,” Viktor flipped the 3D scan on the screen, “Huh…”
“What is it?” V asked, uncertain what he was looking at.
“Not sure… Nothing major, at least. But here, that’s your hippocampus.”
Vik pointed to the center of the scan.
“That’s where you make your decisions, your short-term memory. And here…” he pointed to a different area, “The prefrontal cortex. Self-control, emotional regulation, risk-assessment, amongst other things.”
V shivered.
“There are some subtle changes in the structure between our last and today’s scan,” Viktor said, pointing out some particularly bright and dark areas in both regions, “Nothing major, and no way to tell where they’re coming from. Could be all attributed to the Relic still, even though it’s always been destructive rather than constructive in its workings… Or could be anything else really, from tumors to natural irregularities or mutations.”
V’s eyes were glued to the screen.
The previous scans Vik had done, usually one or two a month ever since Mikoshi, had always in some shape or form supported Alt’s prediction. V would slowly wither away and die of this. Vik’s therapy seemed to slow the decay down, but it didn’t stop, let alone reverse it, so… this was new. And yet, V did not feel better, indeed he got worse and worse – definitely as if nothing had improved despite these small but visible changes highlighted right in front of his eyes.
“This is… new connections forming, instead of old ones dying off?” V made sure he was understanding correctly.
“It could be,” Viktor relativized, “Or it could be something else. But again, I’m not a neurologist. Take all of it with a grain of salt.”
“Good that we know where to find a neurologist then…” Kerry then added from the sidelines and his and V’s eyes met.
“Yeah,” V nodded slowly, “See what she has to say to this.”
“Nix, hi,” V said on the holo, back in the car again a short while later, “Run a thorough background check on one Ava Jordan Lowe, goes by AJ or 4cid. 4-c-i-d. Formerly Biotechnica, now high-profile drug cook. Has connections to a variety of Rippers all across NC… Yeah, everything you can find could be helpful.”
He paused for a moment.
“Also… Isabella Fuentes. She’s a doctor at the big med center in Little China. Neurology – … I’m dead serious. Yes, send it over later. Not sure yet if I’ll manage to swing by the next few days.”
He hung up and then noticed Kerry’s intense stare.
“What?”
“The doctor? Really?” Kerry asked, his voice amused rather than concerned.
“Wanna know who she is before I tell her what I got stuck in my head,” V said sternly, “And explain to her why her help offer is kind, but also the situation not nearly as simple as she thinks.”
“That’s fair, I guess…” Kerry nodded and leaned back in his seat, right hand loosely resting on the gear shift.
They sat in silence for a couple of moments, the noises from Little China’s backstreets only somewhat reaching them inside Kerry’s car. Once more V had been torn about using the Aerondight to get here, instead of one of his other cars. But while the Aerondight stood out, especially in this part of town, it at least offered a degree of security and privacy none of his own cars could.
V looked to the plastic bag between his feet, filled with a handful of single-use injectors Vik had given him. They were filled with the same drug cocktail that had brought him back from his attack earlier and should last him a few days, whenever his symptoms returned and became unbearable. Until then Vik could hopefully buy a fresh batch of pills. V still wasn’t so sure if he’d even want them, or if he should, just in case, cut them all open before taking them.
“What next?” Kerry asked eventually, and almost at the same time two new text messages popped up in the corner of V’s interface.
“One sec,” he said, opening the first one, “Ah… Manuel finally got his hands on my car.”
“Manuel?” Kerry asked.
“My car guy. The guy I used to work for. Pre-Arasaka.”
“Aaahhh, the Valentino garage...”
V chuckled.
“Don’t say that to his face, he might punch you.”
“Dunno… semi-legal garage in the middle of Heywood, almost exclusively locals as staff and customers, shady deals with corpos…”
“I know, I know…” V paused, “Still though, he doesn’t wanna be associated with them. Done him dirty in the past.”
“Yeah, and he never gave them any reason for it, for sure,” Kerry teased, “To Heywood, then?”
V nodded, smiling. Even though he and Manuel hadn’t parted ways completely amicably, V had reconnected with him after his exit from Arasaka. Manuel was a shady crook, but he and his people were discreet and skilled, so at least in handling his machines V trusted him fully. His V-Tech would need a lot of love and care after that accident…
Kerry sped off, and V could’ve sworn to notice the first paparazzi sneaking in, trying to snap a photo or two. It was due time they left the area. What Lee had shown them yesterday, the media frenzy around that dashcam clip of Kerry, was at the back of his mind the whole time. Sure as hell it was still affecting Kerry too. So, an update on his car was the perfect excuse to not go back home, return to their daily routines just yet. With the routines the thought spirals came back too, and neither of them needed that right now.
What they really needed was some distance from the city, at least for a couple of days. Kerry wasn’t so wrong with his idea of a belated – or early – weekend getaway. Hide at the villa and just do nothing at all… or at least nothing that had to do with their jobs. Easier said than done, especially for V, but he had made the promise to himself this morning to cherish the rare peaceful moments with Kerry more again. As long as he still could. When nothing mattered, only that they were with each other.
As they reached Watson’s outskirts, the sleek skyscrapers of Night City’s center looming ahead, V opened the second text. To his surprise, it came from Nix. Nothing extensive yet, but…
“Ah… Nix sent me AJ’s contact info,” he noted.
“That was quick…”
“If the chick’s really leaving a big paper trail people can just follow to find her, I’m not that surprised,” V said and without further pause called the cook’s holo.
It rang a couple of times… and then AJ actually answered. This was almost too easy…
AJ was a woman around Viktor’s age, a bit older maybe, short and thin, slicked back salt-and-pepper hair with a bright green streak starting at her temple. Her face was somewhat haggard and bathed in shadow as she sat on a worn-down desk chair in a relatively dark, cramped room. A couple of stripes of light falling in through half-closed shutters illuminated the scene, as well as the pale glow of a computer screen somewhere off to the right.
“Who’s this, who gave you this number?” AJ asked, paranoia loud in her otherwise hushed voice.
“I’m V. Gotta couple questions for ya, Ava Jordan Lowe.”
A heavy pause. AJ just stared.
The longer V got a chance to look at her and her abode, the more little details he noticed in the background. Lab equipment, servers. Everything seemed neatly organized and labelled, there was packaging material, bottles, books…
“That V?” AJ then asked, frozen in her chair, “The Afterlife V?”
“The one and only,” V said, “And you’re lucky we got some mutual friends, cause I sure as hell am in the mood to come kick in the door of your little lab for an in-person visit.”
“Woah, woah, woah, hold up!” AJ said, raising a hand defensively, “I got no problem with ya whatsoever, there must be a misunderstanding here!”
V would’ve expected a little more bargaining from an ex-corpo, a little more denial, a little less squirming. Usually, the “there must be a misunderstanding” bit came up way later during negotiations… and only as an intimidation tactic.
“Maybe…” V said, changing his approach, “Then maybe you can help clear it up.”
“Listen I – …” AJ stammered, “I’m a small fish in a shark tank, I know that. But I’d also like to keep it that way. I’m living a good and comfortable life in America’s shittiest city. Guys like you I want nothin’ to do with.”
“Who are your buyers?” V asked just to test the waters.
“About a dozen Ripperdocs, some black-market dealers, handful of private customers. Watson mostly, but I got connections to Westbrook and Rancho, too.”
The information spilled out of AJ like her shark tank had just burst – and that at the slightest tap. Westbrook made V perk up, but he also made a mental note to warn Viktor about how freely this woman was giving out information even if only mildly intimidated.
“Sellin’ fake designer drugs to Charter Hill’s junior managers?”
“No, no, nothing like that,” AJ shook her head, “Or well… not only. I’m a chemist, a good one. I cook up whatever my clients need, for all sorts of unique use-cases. Less, better sleep to maintain better performance, experimental treatments for cyberpsychosis, things like that. I don’t ask too many questions, and they pay me well. Listen, if you got trouble with one of them, I’d be happy to help. Don’t need them dragging Night City’s underworld bosses to my doorstep…”
V couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Kerry threw him a brief questioning glance as they left the bridge connecting Watson and Downtown behind.
“Alright, AJ, listen…” he said, “Your name was dropped to me by someone ordering meds from you. Let’s say, he wasn’t quite satisfied.”
AJ paused, seemed to think about this prospect intensely.
“What do you mean?”
“The guy relied on your good reputation, trusted you,” V said, “And you sold him some crap that almost flatlined him this morning. Mumbled something about some kinda dirt baked into your product.”
A little over-dramatic, but maybe it would work.
“Wait what? No, no that can’t be,” AJ shook her head again, demeanor slowly shifting from scared to offended, “Whoever that is, why didn’t he come to me then? My lab has a high, professional standard, it’s clean. I take great pride in my work, hell, you can trace my pills back to me!”
A thought struck V and his heart sank.
“How exactly? Putting trackers in your meds?”
“What, no!” AJ said, “No I’m… using labelling, codes, my pills are stamped, marked, some visibly, some invisibly. Every pill that leaves this lab and lands in the hands of a client, no exceptions. Been burned one too many times in the past. It’s an insurance for myself more than anything. My trademark if you will.”
V couldn’t recall having ever spoken to such a bureaucratic drug cook before.
“Alright, AJ, then help me understand,” V said, “’Cause I saw these pills, and the state my guy was in. If it wasn’t you, who sold him this crap with your name on it?”
“I, uh…” AJ stammered.
“Work with any intermediate sellers that could tamper with your stuff?”
“No, I do everything myself, from acquisition to retail. Maximum security, maximum discretion.”
V was beginning to grasp at straws.
“Could anyone be copying your formulas, any angry ex-business partners? Did someone break in and steal something recently? You ever gave out free samples of your stuff?”
Now AJ hesitated to think, and V hoped he was finally onto something useful.
“Well, no,” she said, “Not… quite. I work alone, always have. But like, back in June, July, someone contacted me out of the blue about an offer for a business partnership. They said they heard about my work, wanted to help me expand, but I got no interest in that. As I said, I’m happy with keeping a low profile and an overseeable number of clients.”
“Who exactly contacted you?” V asked, “Did they give you any names, any further deets?”
“No, was all shady as fuck. Smelled like Corp, and I’m more than done with that world. Claimed they were some sorta tech startup specializing in, uh… I don’t even remember really. The moment they couldn’t give me a name I was done with them. Fuck, do you think they’re trying to ruin my reputation now?”
V’s thoughts were racing, but he kept his expression neutral, frozen, to not give AJ any indication about just how helpful – and awful – this information was.
“Doesn’t matter what I’m thinking on this, AJ,” V said calmly, “I’m not gonna lie though, I was hoping you’d be able to give me something more substantial.”
“Argh, fuck, listen!” AJ said, “I really don’t want any trouble. I uh… fuck if I knew exactly who the client is that sent you to me, maybe that could jog my memory!”
Since the client in question was on the phone with AJ already, V decided to leave it at that. AJ either didn’t want to tell him more or couldn’t, so he’d wait for Nix’ background check before taking any further steps.
“Don’t worry about it, AJ,” he said, “I got a handful of other leads to follow, maybe you’re really not the culprit here. And if I figure out you’ve been dishonest with me… I’ll just come knocking.”
With that he hung up, lowered his phone, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply a couple of times to calm his racing heart.
“Why are you so hot when you’re scary, fuck…” Kerry then sighed, exasperatedly almost, and V looked at him and laughed.
“Wouldn’t last a minute watching you talk to clients at the Afterlife…”
 “Watching you in the recording booth sure was a sight to behold too though,” V teased back, and Kerry bit his lip and threw him a quick sideways glance, squeezed his thigh… But then his expression grew darker again.
“Anything useful?” he asked, “You seem… concerned.”
“Nothing concrete, again,” V shook his head, “But… I got a feeling AJ was contacted by a certain, beyond obscure tech-startup around the same time they tried to get in touch with me.”
Kerry’s grip around the steering wheel tightened.
“Fuck…”
“Yup.”
The splendor and lights of the city center slowly faded in favor of brick and steel as Kerry drove them deeper into the heart of Heywood.
“AJ said she never dealt with them, but if they had her on their radar…” V thought out loud.
“Okay, so, but that confirms your suspicion, right?” Kerry wondered, “That metal stuff, whatever it is, could be Blue-Eyes’. How’d they get it in the pills though, if the cook’s the clean freak Vik says she is…”
“No clue,” V said, “Honestly, my guess is, someone swapped the pills. Either before they ever got to Viktor, or at Vik’s, or...”
V’s tongue was heavy, fearing he could choke on it if he said the words, the words he’d felt in his bones ever since first looking into Mr. B’s cold blue eyes at the Afterlife. Eyes that seemed to be able to stare into his soul, read his mind, know his intentions and desires before V even realized them. It felt like this first in-person encounter with him happened ages ago, not a mere week, so much did Blue-Eyes occupy his mind, follow him on every step he took… if their suspicion was correct, maybe more literally than V would’ve ever dared to imagine. His stomach turned at the thought of being watched from within his own head throughout all of this, over weeks, maybe even months…
“… or at our house,” Kerry then finished the thought burning in both their throats, voice barely loud enough to be audible over the Aerondight’s engine.
They reached their destination shortly after, but still having to digest this new information, they lingered in the car a few minutes longer.
“We better not let him wait,” V then simply decided to escape the deafening silence and unable to discuss Blue-Eyes’ again, at least right now.
Manuel’s workshop was tucked away in a Heywood back alley, the courtyard well hidden from curious eyes behind a tall, graffiti-covered wall. Kerry put on his sunglasses before he got out of the car and followed V. They walked over to a large metal gate, passing by an enormous Valentino mural. It featured their iconic golden V with roses at the center, surrounded by skulls, saints, guns, and a dozen names of fallen gang members.
“Totally not a ‘tino shop, yup,” Kerry shrugged, casually pointing at it with his thumb in passing.
“It really isn’t,” V laughed, “We’re just on their turf.”
“Mh-hm.”
Kerry put his hands in his jacket’s pockets then joined V by the entrance, stance cool and laid back. He had automatically fallen back into his public persona and demeanor, like he usually did when meeting new people from V’s world. V wondered if he’d do the same when Judy got here.
Overcome with an intense sensation of déjà vu V rang the doorbell at the intercom. Around six years ago he’d been in this exact spot with Jackie, Jackie in his place calling Manuel over to introduce them to one another.
“Hola?” a feminine, unfamiliar voice answered after a couple of seconds.
Kerry sneered, breaking character for a moment, and V nudged him with his elbow.
“It’s V. Manuel’s expecting me.”
“Oh… give me a moment, I’ll get him,” the girl responded in Spanish.
“It’s not a ‘tino shop!” V insisted at Kerry’s growing grin, and Kerry laughed.
“Keep tellin’ that to yourself, hermano,” he added, and V rolled his eyes. In the face of too much dread and uncertainty being able to joke around with each other still was an immense relief. Occasionally V missed the normalcy that had slowly faded from his life, ever since… He didn’t even remember. Probably since the day he decided to leave his easy yet boring techie-job at this workshop behind for the thrill of becoming an Arasaka agent.
Suddenly the gate started to move, creakily struggled open only far enough so they could slip into the courtyard. The entrance door to the shop swung open with more enthusiasm, and Manuel walked out to greet them, a short, stocky man, with little hair left on his head and a bold moustache. He still had the arms and probably the grip of a bear and was dressed in a worn, dirty grey coverall. A thick gold chain peeked out between dark chest hair spilling from his half-unbuttoned, yellow checkered shirt, and his tan skin glistened in the sun.
“V, good to see you, gringo,” he said, extending his hand and V shook it, “With the way your baby looks I thought you’d be gettin’ carted in here in a wheelchair.”
“Fortune favors the fools,” V shrugged, and Manuel laughed loudly.
“Your friend?” he then asked with a nod in Kerry’s direction, at the same time extending his motor-oil-covered hand. V and Kerry exchanged a quick glance and smile.
“Kerry,” Kerry introduced himself briefly, shaking Manuel’s hand without hesitation, “V doesn’t let everyone touch his cars, so you gotta be one of the best Night City has to offer.”
Manuel winked.
“V also thinks our ‘20% for family and friends’ offer is a discount, but it’s actually a markup,” he snickered.
“Oh, I’m well aware,” V defended himself, “I came up with it in the first place.”
Manuel laughed and patted him on the shoulder. V tried not to wince in pain too hard, but it did hurt.
“Ah, you’re adickhead, V, but it’s good to see you again. Come on, lemme show you your car so we can come up with a plan.”
V and Kerry followed the mechanic across the concrete courtyard to the entrance of the workshop. The reception area featured some dusty sales shelves stocked with tacky car accessories from bobblehead dolls to air fresheners, as well as a colorful arrangement of car-centric magazines. Behind the old-fashioned reception desk sat a dark-haired teenage girl wearing a high ponytail, golden loop earrings, and a blue paisley bandana. She was reading a music magazine and chewing gum, paying the visitors no mind. Manuel led them next door to the actual workshop area. The smell of oil and CHOOH2 was heavy in the air, clung to their clothes and skin the second they entered, and again V was overcome with a wave of memories. Tuning engines, adjusting control units, changing speedometers, and bypassing security mechanisms… it hadn’t been exciting or particularly challenging work, but V had been good at it.
The workshop was spacious enough to hold three cars to be worked on simultaneously. All garage doors were closed, but the area was well lit by bright neon ceiling lamps. Somewhere in the back sparks were flying where one of the mechanics was welding something on the backside of a car. Two others loudly discussing the best approach for an outstanding paintjob were obscured partially by an industrial hydraulic lift. All sorts of shelves separating the different areas of the workshop held spare parts, tires, tools, and other materials. V’s attention was immediately caught by his V-Tech though, parked in the front portion of the workshop, and his heart broke at the sight.
“Ah fuck…”
“Yeah, it’s… pretty bad,” Manuel didn’t even try to sugarcoat it.
The car was barely recognizable. V could’ve only described it as “caved in”, the hood gone, any tech installed in the front probably damaged beyond repair. The windshield and driver’s side door were missing, and the roof was scratched and dented in. The way the car sat on the ground, much lower than it was supposed to, had V assume the front axle was broken or at least severely bent from the impact.
“The good news is though, the motor is fine, and spare parts are easy to come by at the moment,” Manuel said, “But yes… It’s gonna take a while, and it’s not gonna be cheap.”
V walked over to the car wordlessly, stood next to the driver’s side, absentmindedly touching the scratch marks Trauma Team’s tools had left all around the frame when they cut him out. He still barely remembered anything of that evening.
The steering wheel sat on the seat, which had a few small bloodstains on it. The dashboard had been dismantled to assess the damages to the systems… and V couldn’t help but notice a putrid smell, like sour milk, as he peered inside. Manuel noticed the face he made.
“Oh, yeah…” he said, “The NCPD didn’t wanna release the car, as I told you. Stood in the midday sun in their compound for days before we were finally allowed to tow it. Only after your insurance threatened to sue them. Well… There was spilled coffee everywhere, and it didn’t react well to the heat. We’ll do our best to clean the interior and get rid of the smell, of course, but we might have to redo some of the upholstery. It really had time to soak in deep...”
V perked up.
“Anything else you found in there? That broke, maybe?”
Manuel’s smile turned into a grin; he knowingly raised a finger. He walked over to a shelf by the wall, pulled out an old-fashioned key, and unlocked a compartment.
“Of fucking course…” V sighed when he returned with a huge, somehow still intact jar of olives, and a vodka bottle.
“Not a good ratio for a martini, just sayin’,” Manuel joked as he tried to hand him both the bottle and the jar, but V raised his hands somewhat helplessly, noticing Kerry perk up from the corner of his eye. He’d kept himself to the background, was leaning against a shelf, casually scrolling on his phone, and patiently waiting for V and Manuel to discuss everything. But now they had his attention.
“Can give him both of those,” V said with a smile, looking at Kerry, “Was intended as a present anyway.”
“You… you really,” Kerry stammered as Manuel walked over to hand him the jar and the bottle, “I thought you were joking when you said…”
V shrugged, and Kerry stood there, so lost all of a sudden that he didn’t seem to know what to do with himself. He cleared his throat and V knew he was glad now he still wore his sunglasses.
V agreed upon a “treatment plan” for his car with Manuel, Kerry remained to the side holding on to his presents tightly as they spoke, still speechless.
Money was not the issue, V’s insurance would cover part of the costs, too, so it was more a matter of time when he’d get his V-Tech back. Once they’d reached an agreement, Manuel accompanied them both outside to the courtyard again.
“Always a pleasure doing business with you, V,” Manuel shook V’s hand, “And was nice meeting you, uh… Kenny.”
“Kerry,” V corrected him, biting back a laugh.
“Kerry, right,” Manuel nodded and briefly waved, as Kerry’s hands were still occupied, then he turned back to V, “I’ll give you a call  – …”
The door to the workshop swung open once more and the girl from the reception desk poked her head out.
“Dad, you gotta come in, there’s a guy on the phone who – …” she said in Spanish, but her words slurred, and jaw slowly dropped when she recognized who was standing in front of her, by her father’s side. V chuckled, and Kerry, instantly armed with his laid-back rockstar attitude again, winked at her over the edge of his sunglasses. Manuel noticed none of this and, remaining completely oblivious, bid his farewells and quickly ushered his daughter back inside. V laughed, put his arm around Kerry’s waist, and they walked back outside.
“Let’s go, my good friend Kenny.”
“Fuck off,” Kerry chuckled.
“Can’t believe you really went out and bought the damn olives…” Kerry repeated once more as he got back behind the steering wheel, olives and vodka safely put away in the trunk. The engine was still off, and he just stared ahead, hands in his lap. V was sunken into his seat and slowly turned his head.
“And I can’t believe my vanilla latte ruined my car seats completely, while this giant glass jar stayed intact for some reason,” he shrugged with played annoyance.
Kerry took off his sunglasses and put them down into their compartment between the seats. Then, without further words, he leaned over, cupped V’s face and gently, sweetly kissed him. Then once more, and a third time. Not growing hungrier or wilder, just… Again and again, because once was not enough. He shook his head slightly and smiled, their noses briefly touching. His hands trailed down V’s neck and chest, then he slowly withdrew just far enough to look him in the eyes properly.
“I love you.”
“Love ya, too,” V smiled, heart beating in his throat.
“No, V, really, I…” Kerry struggled for words, but then he sighed and smiled sadly, “I was not in a good state of mind when I sent you those messages. You probably only wanted to go home and shower and sleep, after all that... Still went outta your way to get me my fuckin’ olives, of all things. Could’ve just moved my own ass for once. You would’ve never ended up in that accident, and – ...”
“Kerry…” V reached out now, cradling Kerry’s cheek, “Firstly, you don’t know that. I could’ve ended up in a way worse accident, or somethin’ else could’ve gone wrong. But none of it would’ve been your fault, either.”
V was suddenly struck with the strangest realization.
“Also… Had I not been in that accident… We’d really have nowhere else to go to now. Dr. Fuentes, we’d’ve never met her. I wouldn’t have this thing – “ he held up his cast – “And I wouldn’t have stomped my pills into dust.”
Kerry’s eyes grew wide, then he briefly looked away, lowered his head at the dawning realization.
“Honestly… getting you your olives was probably the best bad decision I made in the last couple of months,” V reassured him with a smile.
“This is so fucking crazy…” Kerry just breathed, leaned in to kiss him again, then pressed their foreheads together.
“Somehow always is with the two of us involved,” V nodded quietly, “Maybe I should give olives another try…”
Kerry laughed.
“I’ll mix ya the best martini you’ll ever have when we’re back home!”
“Not too strong, please. Y’know what’s gonna happen otherwise…” V frowned, and Kerry grinned as the engine sprung on.
Yes. A semblance of normalcy would do them good, however brief it was.
*****************
>> Next Chapter
*****************
Notes:
This was a long one, thank you so much for reading <3 Slightly less action, more light-hearted moments to recover from last time's angst! This was more of a "filler" chapter in the sense that I wanted to start tieing off some lose ends here and there, as the plot moves to the next arc slowly but surely: Blue-Eyes is not the answer, but instead maybe the doctor V and Kerry got into contact with by sheer stupid luck - and the power of love xD there's a reason why the working title of this fic is "love is stored in the olive jar" cause yay! the jar survived the car accident from chapter one after all! As did V and as did V and Kerry's love, despite all hardships :3
But two questions remain... who switched out the pills, if AJ and Vik are earnest, and can Dr. Fuentes really help where everyone else so far failed? And at what cost will her help come?
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calder · 1 year
Text
aspirational chapter outline for Fallout and the Occult
CHAPTER 1:
WHEREIN THERE IS THE GLOW
HISTORY OF THE MAINLAND CHILDREN OF ATOM
CHAPTER 2: 
THE FIRMAMENT
INDEX - MAINLAND TESTIMONIES OF ATOM
CHAPTER 3: 
COME FORTH AND KNOW
CULT ACTIVITY ON THE ISLAND
CHAPTER 4:
I BEHELD A VERDANT STAG
INDEX - FAR HARBOR TESTIMONIES OF ATOM
CHAPTER 5:
HE IS COMING WITH THE CLOUDS
INDEX - FAR HARBOR MINUTIA AND DOCUMENTS
CHAPTER 6: 
HIS BLAZING VISAGE
MYTHOLOGY, DIVISION, AND A COMPOSITE SKETCH OF ATOM
CHAPTER 7:
GO WITH THE GLOW
ATOM: CONCLUSIONS
CHAPTER 8:
SOMETHING IS COMING AND IT IS ANGRY
THE MOTH MAN AND THE INTERLOPER
CHAPTER 9:
AMARANTH
THE ENLIGHTENED
CHAPTER 10:
MAY NO TRACE OF YOU BE FOUND
THE TREEMINDERS
CHAPTER 11: 
THE VOICES OF THE WOOD
INDEX - COMPLETE MOTH GOSPEL
CHAPTER 12: 
THE POTENTIAL TO UNDERSTAND
DREAMS, VISIONS, AND MULTIPLANAR THOUGHT
CHAPTER 13: 
THE BREAKING OF THE WORLD
TIME TRAVEL, METAPHYSICS, AND V-13
CHAPTER 14: 
[...]
PREWAR OCCULTISM + INDEX
CHAPTER 15:
SAFE IN THE LIGHT
UG-QUALTOTH 
CHAPTER 15:
WHERE THE TREE BLOOMED
HAROLD AND THE TWIN MOTHERS
CHAPTER 16:
THESE LANDS ARE FORBIDDEN
INDEX - HAROLD AND THE TWIN MOTHERS
CHAPTER 17: 
BUT MAN WAS WEAK
A HISTORY OF THE UNITY AND FEV
CHAPTER 18:
[...]
COMPLETE UNITY GOSPEL
CHAPTER 19: 
WISDOM FOUND NO DWELLING-PLACE
TALKING DEATHCLAWS
CHAPTER 20: 
THE DANGER CAN SPEAK
INDEX - TALKING DEATHCLAWS
CHAPTER 21:
THIS PLACE IS PART OF A SYSTEM OF MESSAGES
MANNEQUINS
CHAPTER 22:
TO BETTER SPEAK HIS NAME
GHOULS
CHAPTER 23:
[...]
INDEX - GHOULS 
CHAPTER 24:
MAKE BRITTLE THY TEETH
M.A.D. MONKS
CHAPTER 25:
[...]
SELECTED ANOMALIES
CHAPTER 26:
CHILDREN, TOO, OF EVE
SPECIAL INDEX - COMPLETE WASTELAND GOSPEL
CHAPTER 27:
HE FILLETH THE EARTH WITH SPIRITS
CHRISTIANS
CHAPTER 28:
[...]
INDEX - CHRISTIANS
CHAPTER 28:
TRAPPED IN THEIR IGNORANCE
VAULTS
CHAPTER 29:
THIS IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR
INDEX - VAULT-TEC
CHAPTER 30:
[...]
GOVERNMENT ENCLAVES
CHAPTER 31:
NO GREAT DEED IS ESTEEMED HERE
INDEX - THE ENCLAVE
CHAPTER 32:
THERE IS NOTHING HERE
BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL
CHAPTER 33:
[...]
INDEX - BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL
CHAPTER 34:
[...]
SYNTHS AND THE INSTITUTE
CHAPTER 35:
[...]
INDEX - SYNTHS AND THE INSTITUTE
CHAPTER 36:
THE WAILING OF THE HERETICS
SPECIAL INDEX - MISCELLANEOUS FALLOUT GOSPEL
CHAPTER 37:
MY WORKS UPON THE EARTH
SITES OF ANOMALOUS AND HOLY ACTIVITY IN APPALACHIA
CHAPTER 38:
CARRIED BY WINGED CHARIOTS
ALIENS AND PRECURSORS
CHAPTER 39:
[...]
INDEX - ALIENS AND PRECURSORS
CHAPTER 40:
FALLOUT 3000
PERSONAL FANON
CHAPTER 41:
NEW PROPHETS
SPECIAL INDEX - SELECTED APOCRYPHA
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➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      
Chapter 26 - Old Messages, pt. 2.
--------------Congo's point of view--------------------
I had promised myself there would be no more between me and Andy, but already the next day, I knew it was impossible to keep. I wanted him more than ever, and breakfast was almost impossible to get through. Marius was sweet, lovingly sitting on my lap, trying to feed me breakfast pancakes, while I was trying to pretend to read the morning news paper. I was mainly trying to avoid eye contact with him. I had never cheated on a partner before. And the burning feeling in My stomach was awful to bare. I had tried reading a few lines of the paper, but I kept getting interrupted by visions of Andy and I kissing in the forest last night. It was impossible to concentrate in anything. It was impossible denying I wanted more. The whole day I was wandering around aimlessly, I couldn't get Andy out of my head, and being with Marius made my guilt grow every minute. So late afternoon I decided to drive 2 km to a small mountain town, located behind my dads house. Not even the fresh air could clear my head, even though I tried my best. The evening seemed to run at snail speed, so I decided to call it a night already around 9. It was early for me, and Marius did question it a bit. I couldn't sleep however, thoughts of Andy and how this situation could possibly turn in my favor, were racing my mind. I had loved him 10 years. 10 whole years. Since the very first night I met him. And now he had finally fallen for me. But being engaged to a vampire, was a deadly cocktail, at least for the one standing in the way. I knew I needed to get as far away as possible, but he was my Andy. It's safe to say I hoped and begged it was him on the line, when suddenly my phone lit up in the dark bedroom later that night.
Andy: I miss you. A lot. I wish I could wrap your arms around me, and fall asleep like that. Safe. I sit here looking at the pics of you and Marius… all I can focus on is you… Your lips Your beard How I wanna run my fingers through your hair Your chest Your upper arms I love you I just wanna see you again. I know I need to shut up and move on. I don't wanna hurt you. I know I said everything yesterday… but I just keep running it on repeat. I just wish there were some way we could be together… and no one getting hurt. I just really need you! Close. Always. You keep me calm. You always made me feel safe. You were always so nice to me…. took so good care of me. I miss you so fucking much!! Miss your smell…. I love you.
Congo: I love you too.
Andy: You have no idea what those words mean to me.
Congo: I know what it means to hear them from you.
Andy: <3 I'm so in love with you!
Congo: I'm so in love with you too.
Andy: What are you doing now?
Congo: In bed.
Andy: Were you sleeping? Did I wake you up?
Congo: No, I couldn't sleep.
Andy: Oh… why not?
Congo: Thinking of you.
Andy: Good or bad?
Congo: Both, I guess.
Andy: What was the good?
Congo: YOU.
Andy: (He sent a smiley with stars in it's eyes) And then what's the bad?
Congo: That I can't have you.
Andy: I know! (Smiley crying on the floor)
Congo: What are you doing? Just sitting around in your room?
Andy: Yeah… can't sleep. I'm too restless… horny… confused…
Congo: I guess I feel sort of the same. Plus, it's too hot to sleep.
Andy: Take some clothes off.
Congo: I'm already naked.
Andy: :3 DAMN (followed by a row of blushy and pervy smileys)
Congo: You are crazy.
Andy: You love that about me.
Congo: Yes.
Andy: You make me hard!
Congo: By telling you I'm naked?
Andy: Yes!!! Of course!! You are fucking hot!!! GOD! That bulgy chest of yours!!!!!!!
Congo: What more?
Andy: Your big warm arms.
Congo: Anything else?
Andy: Your kind eyes… Your sexy beard Your strong upper arms Your v of muscles above your jeans line! Your firm ass Your muscly thighs GOD! I fucking want you so much!!!!
Congo: I want you too.
Andy: How much?
Congo: So much that I'm touching myself.
Andy: (Crying smiley, followed by a smiley leaning against a wall) First one was a finger spass… sorry…
Congo: What does the second one mean?
Andy: I wish I was outside your bedroom door!
Congo: Me too!
Andy: I want to feel your naked body against mine… making love to you all night and morning.
Congo: Mmm yeah… I would love that. Feeling my hands all over your perfect body. Tasting your skin. Feeling myself grow inside you.
Andy: Fuck!!! I wanna taste you too… and feel you so badly!!!!! You're so strong and warm. I can't get enough of your warmth! I wish I could push myself inside you, and just live in there…just merge with you… Are you still touching yourself?
Congo: Yes.
Andy: DAMN! I wish I could crawl under your blanker and give you a blowjob. I really wanna swallow you, taste your cum again. Mmmmmm! Tell me how you touch yourself…
Congo: I am slowly stroking my dick, and pulling lightly in my balls. Thinking of you. Wanting your hands and mouth on me.
Andy: Fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!! Wait… what are we doing? I;m so hot now I'm almost burning up!! And I'm touching myself I'm so hard it almost hurts!
Congo: The sweat is running off me. I want you so bad I think I'm gonna scream out your name soon!
Andy: FUCK!!! We need to cool down!
Congo: I know. How about we take a shower? Together. I mean, as together we can. I'll go jump in my shower, you go jump in yours… We jerk off with the thoughts of each other, and when we are done, we meet up here again? You can go to your bed as well, and we can keep talking till we get tired enough to sleep, or simply keep going till we fall asleep?
Andy: Yes! I'm in! I really need to cum! But as I'm quite challanged on that some days, I really need help… this might do :3 just the thought of you makes my insides buzz and my heart pound!
Congo: I know! I feel the same way about you. I'll meet you here in 10-15 minutes. I love you.
Andy: I love you too. (20 minutes later) I'm back!
Congo: Me too.
Andy: :) you make me smile and get butterflies in my stomach.
Congo: :) you too.
Andy: Really??? :D
Congo: Yes.
Andy: I'm melting!
Congo: :)
Andy: Did you cum?
Congo: Yes :) you?
Andy: Yes! Could almost not stand on my legs, that's how good it was!
Congo: Perfect!
Andy: Yes! :3 I kept thinking of your face :3
Congo: Only my face?
Andy: More or less. Only one time I thought of you sucking me. The rest of the time, I just pictured your smile… well, your profile pic here mostly…
Congo: You make me so happy.
Andy: Why? :)
Congo: Because now there's no longer a single shred of doubt in me. I know you are in fact in love with me too. That it's not just lust and a crush. I mean. You didn't just focus one me naked or fucking you. It was my face. Me as a person.
Andy: I told you! :)
Congo: I know, but it sounds too good to be true. Well, it is, since we can't be together. It stings in my heart every time I think of it.
Andy: :/ I don't want you to get hurt, or get bad health because of this. If its easier I'll stop writing these things to you, and we will somehow rewind time till before I told you… at least imagine that part…
Congo: No. Please. Even if it makes things a million times harder, I need to know you love me too. You did the right thing. We will find a way to control this, cause we have to. But for the rest of this night, let us just go to bed, and pretend to cuddle, how does that sound? No bad vibes before sleeping :) Let's keep it light.
Andy: Sounds nice. I would say perfect, but perfect would be you laying next to me, in reality…
Congo: I know sweety. Let's crawl to bed at least this way.
Andy: Alright, I just need to finish eating my bread…
Congo: You're eating? (Back then Andy had a lot of trouble eating. He had gotten of alcohol after around 10 years as an alcoholic, and his stomach wasn't used to solid food. On top of that he had a lot of anxiety around food, so it was a rare thing to see him eat more than a bit of fruit salad or a small bowl of cereal with milk or yoghurt)
Andy: Yes, a big piece of bread with butter and raisins :)
Congo: That makes me happy <3 thank you.
Andy: You don't have to thank me :) I don't wanna die any longer, remember? (he also used to be very suicidal)
Congo: Yes :) but that's also almost too good to believe.
Andy: :) just give me 2 minutes to get done…
Congo: Sure take your time.
Andy: (A few minutes later) I'm done, but I have raisins all over my mouth, I'm gonna go brush my teeth… Congo…how heavy does Marius sleep?
Congo: Pretty heavy, why?
Andy: Uhm, I'm in my own bedroom, so A surely wont hear me. Maybe if you think it wont wake up Marius, I could call you, and we could whisper a bit to each other? Or just be on the line, so we can just feel each other near? Or is that stupid?
Congo: No, it's not stupid. I would very much like that :)
Andy: :D I'll be right back!
Congo: Yes.
Andy: (Another few minutes later) Can I call now?
Congo: Yes :)
Andy: :D
We talked for about 45 minutes that night, till I no longer got an answer. I could hear him breathe deeply, and it was comforting knowing he was safe asleep. I kept pressing my phone againts my ear, as if I was trying to get him closer to me. I fell asleep much later with a smile on my lips, but a heavy heart knowing it was all wrong, and we had to stop.
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