#Volume 12 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pancake-breakfast · 7 months

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I would love to say that it took me this long to get to the final three chapters because I was afraid of what would come, but the truth is I was just very very tired.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 12, Chapters 7-9 below.

Chapter 7: Run, Livio, Run

Uh, oh. I'm looking forward to seeing Livio again, but I don't want him to be in any real danger. I know he doesn't mind, but that's actually part of the problem right now.

It's a good thing Milly and Meryl remain miraculously unaffected by this smoke somehow, even though it's messing with the soldiers so much.

Oh, no! Thomas down! Milly down!

Quick shout-out to the Thomas's spiky dinosaur tail.

OMG they make yipping noises. I had no idea.

Ugh, this could be bad. Meryl is too small to carry Milly away from the scene on her own, and it looks like Milly hit her head pretty good.

Meanwhile, Vash has his hands busy with his dumbass brother.

Ugh, his hair is sooooo dark now....

Knives, buddy, have you seen yourself in a mirror yet? You're more amorphous blob than singular being at this point. You should get that checked out. By a professional. Maybe Conra--oh, wait.

Dude, that's not the face you make when you realize the brother you love so much is basically about to die. It is, however, the face you make when you're about to score a resounding victory over your sibling.

Ugh, babygirl. You're a mess, babygirl. Why....

Ugh, Domina's also a mess....

I was promised Livio in this chapter. Where is my boy Livio?

AAAAAHHHH AAAAHHHH THERE HE IS!!! JUST IN TIME!!! YAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!

LOL, Meryl's shocked face.

Hahahahaha, Livio's so awkward. How long has it been since he's had a "normal" interaction with someone else? For that matter, this isn't exactly normal. He's probably overthinking the social aspect and might need to spare more brain power to the escaping aspect.

Livio's like, "Here. Have a military-grade bomb door. I'll just set this up for you right here... and I'm off! See ya in a bit!"

There we go. He's switching over into combat mode, not gonna worry about the social aspect. That's for someone else.

The heck?! He just went straight over the top of the door!

He... uh... he miiiiight be a bit outnumbered. Just a bit.

Smart. He didn't actually need any of them to say anything. He just needed a few people to look in the right direction.

Man, he's fast.

Tornado technique deployed!

Ugh, Vash. I wish I could tell you there is another way, but if there is, I can't see it. It requires Knives doing things Knives isn't prone to doing, so things are looking very, very grim. Maybe Chronica and her buddies can somehow offer some aid... if they can just figure out what's going on.

Chapter 8: Lights

Ooh, Chronica's peeking into Domina. Plants are weird, yo.

It looks a bit messy in there, even by Plant standards.

Vash's mini-gates are scaring the hell out of the Earth fleet. I don't think Knives realizes just how dangerous they are... or how crazy Vash's precision has been in using them.

Oh, seems he has some idea.

Noooo! Vash!

I don't think "disappointed" is a strong enough word for whatever Vash might feel losing to Knives here. You know... assuming he has enough of anything left in himself to feel.

Oh, Knives is implying Vash is just unconscious. That's... good. I think.

Huh, I need to save this shot of Livio for a project I want to work on. I honestly didn't think I'd find a manga panel of him in this kind of pose. It'll be a perfect reference.

I mean, he already commandeered another military-grade metal door for his own purposes, so I don't think this one stands much of a chance. Especially if the primary barring mechanism is on the OUTSIDE.

Shout-out to his EoM-themed twin gun holsters. Not sure how he hides those monster fangs in there, but whatever. They look cool.

Ugh, Vash.... Vash, are you ok? Tell me you're ok.

I'm not sure I quite understand the lights here. Are those... representative of the people down below?

Ahhhh! He's moving! He's moving!!! He looks like absolute shit, but he's moving!

KNIVES YOU LITTLE BITCH LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! And other things to say to Knives if you want to get yourself insta-killed.

Wait, why does Knives suddenly look afraid?

Up? Chronica?

Wait, why we focusing on Livio right now?! I love you, Livio, but I need to know what's going on with Knives and Vash!

Wait, what's happening??

Ok, I got it. Knives got hit by something from space at the same time Livio went through the door to the little shelter thing. I'm following, I'm following. Also, hi, Elendira. I was wondering where you were.

Vash has an opening.

FUCK. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY FUCKING LEGATO GOSHFREAKING DARNIT EVERY SINGLE FREAKING TIME THIS GUY SHOWS UP AND IF HE ISN'T IN FULL BAGWORM STATE ALL I CAN DO IS SWEAR BECAUSE GODSDAMMIT LEGATO YOU MONSTER!!!

Vash looks none too happy. Which makes sense considering the last time he faced off with Legato. Knives, on the other hand, looks like he genuinely doesn't know what to make of all this.

Awww, he's so happy.... I really need to update my collage of his seriously unhinged smiles.

Chapter 9: Two People Against The World

CW: Sexual abuse, sexual assault, depersonalization, abuse

Yusssss, Legato backstory! I've been waiting for this traumafest!

Note: While having a traumafest backstory might help explain one's monstrous actions, it does not, in fact, excuse them, especially as one matures into adulthood and (theoretically) gains a better understanding of action and consequence. The world is so much bigger than our trauma. Now back to your regularly scheduled reaction post.

Ah, I guess Legato and Vash did have ample time to get to know each other over those seven months.

The funny thing about this title is, assuming it refers to Legato and Knives, it's definitely Legato's perspective. I've seen people spell out some pretty decent evidence that Knives cares for Legato more than he admits, but the fact of the matter is Knives doesn't admit it. Knives repeatedly treats their relationship with a level of disregard that suggests no matter how much he values Legato, he's nowhere near admitting it enough to himself to allow room for thinking something like it's the two of them against the world. Gods, I could write essays on the dynamic between two. I adore how much there is to analyze with Legato and Knives. I love how it's Wolfwood and Vash taken to quite possibly the worst extreme.

Heh. Vash looks... almost relieved. And Legato looks almost peaceful here. I wonder if perhaps they reached some sort of understanding, as unlikely as that seems.

Oh, I thought Chronica was still in space. Looks like she's making this personal.

Eyyy! Milly's awake!

And here she and Meryl are both just worrying about Vash. Love them.

Chronica's got an impressive gun aimed at Knives' face there.

Ooooohhh, Legato and Vash are gonna have opinions on this... especially if it's successful.

What, he just blocked it? Hax.

Love the birdcage imagery for Legato here.

Ah, Legato.... This isn't even him seeking revenge. This is him seeking justice. He doesn't want them to pay. He wants them to experience what he himself experienced at their hands so they know. Gonna be honest, I can't fault him for this, even knowing that there were probably plenty among those who "stood by and did nothing" who lacked the power to do anything even if they were even aware of the problem.

Ugh, gut wounds hurt so bad, too....

Ok, so this guy's a monster, but for as unrealistic as it is, I love that you can tell so much about him simply by his character design. First, he's someone in power. Money... authority... probably both. He stands on a rich carpet in a fine suit with (what I can only assume is) a trendy hat while Legato is spread out naked, vulnerable, humiliated. Second, for all his power, he's a small man. It's a bit of... height-ism, I guess? Nightow is using it to show that regardless of what else this man has, he's not actually someone who's worth looking up to. And third, he's just... kinda gross. His proportions are distorted and weird with demon eyes and sex doll mouth and he just gives me creep vibes just looking at him.

Ugh, this is a common thing with abusers, though. They can get caught up in this sort of self-delusion that whatever they're doing is right and good, that their victims benefit from it or like it or even love it despite ALL signs to the contrary. And having ANY clear sign that, no, their action was NOT acceptable, any action from their victim that even has the possibility of allowing the victim to go free, to leave the abuser's "kindness," is seen as complete and utter betrayal. And then, after suitable punishment has been meted out, they may "forgive" the victim by allowing them to fall back into the abuse cycle... often while occasionally bringing up the failed escape attempt to excuse more extreme behavior toward the victim or to demoralize their victim and keep them in place.

Of course this guy would be turned on by the possibility of getting to punish Legato.

Legato's such a little guy here, too...

Yeah, there's no way something like that happening at such a moment wouldn't seem like an act of god to him. Nevermind that it was probably pure chance and the horrible, unnatural pose he was forced into that saved him.

Yeah, I don't blame him for this, either.

Ah, Knives really didn't intend this.

Legato really piqued Knives' curiosity here, first by surviving, second by daring to approach him, and third by not showing the least bit of concern that Knives might lob his head off in an instant, and instead asking to serve him.

I really can't get over how small he is here. Even if he was the type to take a bit to fill out, he doesn't look older than 15 here... and that's being generous.

Honestly, living one's whole life (or the vast majority of it) the way Legato did would leave little space for hopes and dreams to grow. It's hard to have even the smallest ambitions when all you've ever known is what it is to be an object used by others.

Heh, he finally smiles, and it's at the thought that it's all going to end.

I wonder what about this made Knives stay his hand. It's not simple respect for Legato's power. Perhaps he sees some measure of himself (or even Vash) in Legato here, in that time after they found Tesla and everything seemed meaningless and they just wanted it all to end.

Man, they didn't even see fit to give him a name. He was just a toy to them. Makes me sick.

In retrospect, implying I was looking forward to this chapter seems like a bit of a disservice to it. I had enough spoilers to know how dark it would get, but it's different reading it. I... still don't think it excuses a lot of what he does. But it does make me wish all the more that he'd had opportunities to know good people. If it had been Vash who had saved him instead of Knives... or even Wolfwood or the Eye of Michael... his life would be so very different, and probably for the better. He deserves better than he's ever got. He's endured enough.

Archive

Trigun Vol. 1: Covers + 1-3, 4, 5-6, 7-8, 9-10 || Vol. 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Vol. 1: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Vol. 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Vol. 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5, 6-7 || Vol. 5: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 6: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 7: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 8: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5 + Bonus || Vol. 9: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 10: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-8 || Vol. 11: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 12: Covers + 1-3, 4-6

Extra Credit: Trigun Vol. 1: Nebraska vs. Vash's Motivations, Vash's Loneliness, Vash's Depression (pt. 2 of post), Soupy Brains || Vol. 2: Coin Factoids || TriMax Vol. 1: Lina, Vash, and a Haircut || Meryl, Vash, and the Pursuit of Happiness || Vol. 5: Knives, Vash, and Hatred for Humanity || Vol. 6: Coping Series: Wolfwood, Meryl, Vash || Vol. 8: The Uncoordinated Counterattack || Vol. 9: Justice, Punishment, and Mercy, The Tolling of an Iron Bell || Vol. 10: Crucifixion Symbology (pt. 2 of post), Merging of Families, Being Childlike (And Why God Hates Chapel) || Vol. 11: New Hair, New Outlook

#i have sooooo many complicated legato feels and this volume has done absolutely nothing to lessen them #i can think he's a monster who should be thrown into the bottom of the sea AND also want far better for him than he ever got #trigunbookclub #trigun maximum #volume 12 #pancake thoughts

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mcytblr-archive · 1 month

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Early MCYTblr Interviews: fraseris

today's interviewee is fraseris/dukeborninfebruary, who ran the quack-ity "kinnie" blog, started the hermitblr "geckohc" tag, and has been in MCYTblr from the beginning! below are the questions and answers.

Q. What was your overall experience in early MCYTblr?

A. i had a great time honestly. it was such a hyperactive fandom because there were new hours of content daily, and like a lot of others i was doing pandemic school which meant basically doing nothing all day. this feels strange to say now that the world is pretending to be back to normal, but this whole online world was basically my life for an entire school year. and i think we were using the content and fanspace to ignore reality as hard as possible, because shit sucked severely. so everybody was very deeply invested and dedicated in a way that you just can't have anymore. and at least before the exile arc, when the fandom really blew up (esp i think on stan twitter) it was a relatively small fandom. when things got on trending we celebrated. so it was a really well connected space and we had a lot of fun with our mutual obsessions. ive never been in a fandom like that before and i probably never will be again

Q. If my memory serves, you ran the "kinnie" imposter blog quack-ity. What was that experience like?

A. well, i was not good at impersonating quackity at all. which made it harder to actually scare people and funnier when I actually did freak out a few. a friend who i met in sleepyheads told me that things had been too quiet since tubblr and velvetiscake so i just kinda did it. i stayed up until like 4 am two nights in a row before i gave up. it was really fun watching sleepyheads try to figure it out. someone in there did decide it was me and eventually i had to admit that they were right. i could've been more strategic but i didnt care all that much and i did break a record for hours without revealing myself!! but then zonebur broke that. ive always credited myself with reviving the art of kinnie blogs after like a month of silence, because after quack-ity there was zonebur and the niki blog and many others. i tried a ranboo imposter blog but nobody cared because this was a few weeks before he joined the dream smp. i also had another quackity imposter blog but by then it was too late and people were bored with us

Q. As I remember, you were the first blog to receive the "gay kroger anon" copypasta. What do you remember about that phenomena?

Q. What are some common criticisms of creators that you remember from 2020-2021?

A. i remember when i first joined the tumblr fandom (august 2020) there was a lot of controversy surrounding dream. this was before all his infamous no-pr-team social media outbursts, and the speedrun cheating allegations, and him legitimately grooming kids. honestly I didn't understand what he had actually done back then and i dont really know now. my best guess is that it was the dream team crit people's theories leaking out. it was always just a general "dream is racist" with no real evidence, at least that i saw. because of that the dream smp and fandom was disliked even before the growth in dec 2020, when people really started hating it. looking back i think a lot of that criticism and those rumors were true but at the time I didn't care and definitely felt uncomfortable criticizing friends of My Streamers theres also the sleepy bois callout. that seriously rocked the boat because this was basically the height of their viewcounts (jan ? 2021?) like tommy was getting over 100k viewers every stream and wilbur was getting almost as many. the eventual consensus from sleepyblr as i saw it was that this was all too old to be legitimate grounds for "cancelling." then there were some apologies, i think, and people were pissed at techno for never even acknowledging any of it. but I don't think it really effected their following. the people who liked them and wanted to watch them kept watching them. and in the end that callout didn't even scratch the surface of what wilbur had done. i will say that the main crit of tommy was that he was being negatively influenced by the adults around him and he "needs to be saved from them" or something like that. which unfortunately rings true in the wake of his statement and lack thereof about wilburs' serial abuse of younger people. its depressing to look back on because of that and also because of techno's death. at the time it really showed how people (myself included) attached their own worth to streamers' presence and the parasocial relationship between them. the amount of guilt and panic i saw was crazy

ALSO! when callmecarson was publicly outed as a groomer in jan 2021. that didn't make nearly as much controversy in the dream smp fandom as the other callouts, but at least in the spaces i was a part of like gay castle and associates there were a lot of people who had been smplive fans in the years before. at least two other creators from smplive had similarly been outed before, so it wasn't the first time, but caron definitely caused the remaining fandom to deteriorate. it also put lunch club's life and death in such a negative light and ruined it for a lot of people, because we had never understood the full story before

there was also the drama surrounding jawsh and noah hugbox. there was always negativity about stans (meaning the twitter fanbase) in the smplive world and jawsh started controversy by tweeting negatively about them and about dream. hugbox and him both brought in a sort of redditor anti-sjw vibe to the debate and mostly argued with dream on twitter because dream was always a huge supporter of stan culture and one of those people who told their chat "i love you" all the time, so they really disliked him. of course he acted just as ridiculous as them. this whole thing is where the original "dont stop the party" video came from. a lot of people on tumblr found the whole thing silly but there were also some people as offended and opinionated as most of twitter, who straight up cancelled josh and noah. one of my dearest mcytblr memories is my friends and i staying up late and laughing at noah hugbox's joker act together

the most general criticism of all of these streamers was that they promoted unhealthy parasocial relationships. that mindset was mostly in the crit spaces before the fandom really grew in december, but it became a big deal in the philosophy of the fandom. I'd been complaining about parasocial relationships for a while, but more on the side of viewers than streamers, and i was pissed off when the larger fandom turned it into a nothing-word. i also remember people disliking tubbos politics because he was basically centrist & confused with a touch of young tory ignorance. but myself and my friends and the people i followed were overwhelming uncritical of everyone

Q. As I remember it, you were also a fan of smplive. How do you think the two fandoms interacted/influenced each other?

A. (apologies to people who were actually active participants in smpblr if this isnt comprehensive.) smpblr was very anti-stan, anti-rpf, and so it was really at odds with smptwt where the exact opposite was true. the smp-boundaries account is a consequence of this. people would follow those posts like law and if you broke a boundary and didnt apologize well enough you would be ostracized. maybe this discourse wasnt so central to the fandom during the height of smplive, but by the time i was lurking in later 2019 it seemed to be the main topic of discussion. i think that this mindset really informed sections of the early dream smp fandom, but most people in 2020 stuck somewhere between the two extremes. the transition between the casual real life streaming on smplive and the character roleplay on the dream smp was definitely rough. i don't think there was ever a time when the true boundaries of what was and was not acceptable to discuss or create were set. generally you could treat the characters like characters and make art and write about them, but you could get in trouble with some people for depicting gore or anything sexual including sexual orientation or transness. and some spaces accepted rpf while others hated it with a burning passion. the fandom mellowed out over time and the characters were accepted fully as their own characters, but at least as i saw it took a while

Q. What do you remember about "smprompa"?

A. for a long time smprompa was a white whale. i led a short crusade trying to find it and had some genuinely great finds submitted by anons (i believe under the tag 'hunt for smprompa' or 'search for smprompa' or something on my blog.) but we didnt get anywhere close to the full text. it was a cultural artifact that i dont think many of us approved of, but we wanted it because of its significance to the smplive fandom and creators. when it was discovered by gay castle folks my mind was a little blown

#early mcytblr interviews #Volume 12 #fraseris

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