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crobones · 6 months

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how to make izzy's death follow his arc:

ricky wants to kill them all, but he wants to do it slow. one by one. he does not tell them this, but instead says they have a chance to escape if they prove they can behave and join his own personal navy. izzy does not purposely draw the ire of ricky, but ricky singles him out. he knows izzy's reputation and believes killing someone with such renown will be satisfying.

during capture, izzy susses out Ricky's real plan. Jackie still kills most of the soldiers by poisoning them.

Ricky fleas, but Izzy chases him because he has the key to the cell. They fight, ricky gets away. izzy - being fast, graceful, and seemingly unharmed - goes to free the crew solo while Jackie and the rest go to find a commandeer a ship.

When Izzy opens the cell and leads them out, Lucius gasps as he points out that Izzy has been stabbed in the back! Oh no! and it's on his left side!

Archie says that well, Jim just saved Auntie, they can save Izzy too! Izzy tries to protest, and Lucius or Pete tries to stop her, but she's quicker! She pulls out the dagger- oh wow that dagger was bigger and deeper than anyone expected!

Explosions outside, the navy closing in, no time to save Izzy. Besides, he doesn't look too bad. They. Have. To. Move.

Ed, Stede, and Zheng are in the woods being confronted and surrounded by Ricky and his men. Fog rolls in. Cannons and gunfire. Piles of dead leaves going up in explosive flames. There's barking? A voice calls out "This land is cursed!" and another says "There's hellhounds! The pirates have hellhounds!"

Once a curse takes hold, well... Ricky's men are fooled and make themselves vulnerable. Surprise! Jackie and her group show up. She compliments the Swede on his amazingly believable Boston accent. He says he was aiming for British. She says to a shocked and amused Ed, "What, you think I don't know a bit of fuckery?"

Ricky escapes again in the fog of war.

More fight scenes of everyone running to the ship. Cuts between Stede and Co running right, Izzy and Co. running left. Oh, is this a callback to Stede's dream in episode one of the season? Who'd've guessed.

Izzy's fighting style is fluid, and it compliments Jim's and Archie's and Auntie's very well. Auntie hits on Izzy, and he flirts back, but says he's not at the top of his game right now. She says that he's fully capable, even with one leg. Izzy smiles a bit, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Was he really talking about his leg? (Hint: The answer is no.)

Reunion! Ed hugs Izzy. Izzy grunts in pain. Ed apologizes more for having hurt Izzy and then just. Dipping. After a half-ass apology. He deserved more than that. He really is sorry about the leg. It's kinda cool though! Maybe they can paint flames on it when they get back.

Stede, much to everyone's surprise, also hugs Izzy. Izzy grunts again, a little more quiet this time. Stede Notices. Doesn't say anything about it. He thanks Izzy for saving "our crew." They have a moment.

Zheng and Auntie have their moment. Zheng thanks the Revenge for saving Auntie. Auntie lets Zheng be soft. Maybe she can look at Izzy, the other First Mate in the vicinity. They both know that it's healthy to let their captains be soft sometimes.

This all happens at a Very Rapid Pace because! The Navy is still en route!

They get back to the Revenge.

Stede - who has actually been very competent this whole time and not the characature he used to be - suggests they stand their ground, at least until They Kill Ricky.

Ed says risking his life and the crew for the sake of a grudge Is Not Worth It. Stede acknowledges this, but is still angry because He Knows. And he looks to Izzy. Knowingly. Izzy nods, like before. Stede relents.

Frenchie has been letting Izzy lean on him, but is now Actively trying to help him stand.

Izzy stumbles.

Stede lunges towards him and - oh? He's kissing Izzy? Everyone Is Very Surprised. Jackie whistles and says, "Don't think I didn't catch y'all making eyes at each other in the corner last night!" The Swede makes a very Swede comment about the sexual tension he always felt brewing between them. Because this is still a comedy I guess!

Stede tells Izzy he deserves love, and Stede wasn't sure how else to express it.

Ed is Confused. Worried. Mostly Confused. Izzy stumbles again. Worry Becomes Concern. Lucius tells Ed that Izzy lost a lot of blood. Lucius is frowning. Smiling? Crying. He's manic and let's out a wet laugh that sounds more like a sob.

From Ed the audience can hear the most broken and quiet, "What?"

Frenchie is still right there, trying to hold it all in. Izzy tells him it's not healthy to bottle it up, and Frenchie collapses, and so does Izzy.

Roach scrambles, trying to find supplies. Wee John, who is also tearing up, hands him a knitting needle. Roach is confused by this and Izzy huffs a laugh, saying that that kind of needle is too big, and that it's too late.

Ed, "What's too late? Izzy? What's too late!" He runs to Izzy and crouches next to him as Stede helps Izzy lay comfortably.

We see Jim clinging to Archie, who is at a loss for words. Olu is trying his best not to cry, but seeing Jim upset too breaks him.

Black Pete comforts a hysterical Lucius who is clutching the little wooden shark. Pete looks to Izzy and says, "I can't wait to tell people I was a part of Izzy Hands' crew."

Izzy clicks his tongue. "I've been following our constantly rotating list of Captains. At least, I hope so, because I was First Mate." He looks at Ed, who is nodding but trying so very hard not to lose it. "After Blackbeard retired - or some say, lost at sea - we were all proud crewmates of the Great Gentleman Pirate." He looks to Stede. "We were Stede's crew."

Stede shakes his head. He sheds a single tear and says, "Our crew. It took us a while to get there, but we're family." Izzy wipes the tear away and Stede holds Izzy's hand to his cheek. Kisses it. "You'll always be a part of our family."

Ed leans forward and kisses Izzy. We can't see if it was on the cheek or on the mouth, but it surprises everyone. Edlooks between Izzy and Stede. Then again. He says he's learning how to show his love from Stede, and he panicked.

"Oh, Eddie. Chose a great time to say you love me."

Ed gives a sad chuckle. He say, "I always loved- love you, Iz. Always will. Best I can, anyway. I'm sorry I didn't say it enough."

Fang hugs Ed from behind, looking very sad, but is holding back. Frenchie grabs Ed's hand. Ed slowly begins to ugly cry. Fang tells Izzy he was a lovely unicorn.

Wee John starts humming Le Vie En Rose. One by one, they join in. Izzy playfully complains that it sounds horrendous and off key. He starts singing so they can match up, but it's not as strong as the last time.

The camera pans between everyone - those who are singing as well as those who can't find the energy. Then the others, too. Jackie comforts The Swede, who is sniffling and has a seemingly endless supply of tissues. Zheng and Auntie mourne, but give the crew their space.

Camera pans back to the crew. Some are still singing, but only a few. Jim whispers "Eres uno de los mejores." At some point in the song, Izzy subtly stopped singing. The crew saw his final moments, but the audience didn't. They just see Stede close his eyes.

Next, we see Pete trying to fit a wooden ring onto Lucius' finger. Whether the wedding happened yet or not is up to interpretation. Frenchie is wearing Izzy's ascot. Jim is carving a new name into the ship - maybe it's Rosebud or something (shout out to my Citizen Kane fans out there.) Wee John is sewing a new flag that is the cat that Frenchie made in season one, but there's a black X behind the ear and a familiar bell hanging from it's collar. Fang asks Olu, "Where's the captain?" and Olu just shrugs.

Jump cut to a ring hanging from a necklace around Ed's neck. Stede says, "At one point, you're gonna have to tell me the story behind that. He refused to tell me, no matter how much I bugged him about it."

Ed replies, "Maybe next time you're over."

"Are you gonna charge me?"

"Depends. Are you a customer at this fine establishment?" He waves a hand and indicates the rickety inn that's near shambles.

"I'm a friend of the owner."

"Oh really? A friend."

"Maybe more than a friend."

They hug enthusiastically. Then kiss, a bit more cautiously. When they separate, they hold each other's hands. There a small spade, freshly tattooed onto Stede's hand. Stede says, "Well. I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah. See you around."

Stede is walking away, presumably back to the ship that he uprooted his entire life to have, and worked hard to earn the title Captain. Maybe a dozen yards away, we here Ed call out, "I do love you, you know." Stede pivots to look back. Ed is smiling. It is wide. He is happy. Smash cut to credits, leaving it up to interpretation. Does Stede run back? Does he join Ed? Does Ed decide, you know, he is a good pirate, but the crew could also use a fisherman, because everybody eats.

Who knows! It can end there or meet it's conclusion in a final season three. We can keep the metaphor. Izzy can still die. Fuck you.

#Izzy Hands #spoilers #ofmd spoilers #fix-it #long post

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duhragonball · 1 year

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Dragon Ball Super 017

It’s baby time!

It's baby time

It's baby time It's baby baby time

It's baby time It's baby time It's baby time

Baby baby baby time!

So it’s been about six months since Vegeta left to train under Whis, and Videl has given birth to her daughter, Pan. As a dutiful grandmother, Chi-Chi brings over a big trashbag to their house.

Then she sees Gohan and Mr. Satan playing with the baby. When I say “playing”, I mean “Gohan wears his Great Saiyaman costume and he playfights with Mr. Satan while they toss the baby back and forth to each other.” Pan loves this, and they apparently do this every single day, but Chi-Chi is horrified.

This leads to an argument between Chi-Chi and Mr. Satan over Pan’s future. She’s part-Saiyan, so getting tossed around is actually healthy for her, and Satan has big dreams of Pan becoming his successor as the World Champion of Martial Arts. But Chi-Chi wants Pan to be a great scholar or whatever, and Satan (rightfully) asks who put Chi-Chi in charge. So Chi-Chi barricades herself, Pan, and Videl in one of the rooms of the house.

Okay, so this is really the first time there’s been any conflict between Chi-Chi and Satan, and it kind of ends in a standoff. Satan doesn’t know what to do, and neither does Gohan, so they call in Goku, Krillin, and Bulma to help. Bulma offers to play peacemaker if Krillin will tear up the ticket he wrote Bulma earlier in the episode. But Krillin’s a cop now, so he won’t do it, because he only cares about eating donuts now.

What I’m getting at here is that this might have been a chance to settle what would happen if Chi-Chi and Mr. Satan fought. I’m pretty sure Chi-Chi would win. I think most people agree on this, but I think Mr. Satan could make it competitive. I guess what I’m saying is that we might know Chi-Chi has an edge, but they don’t know who would win.

I’m not saying they should have settled this with a fight. Chi-Chi’s whole point is that there’s more to life than fighting, so settling this with violence sort of undermines her position. And Mr. Satan’s too savvy to suggest it at this point. I guess I’m just pointing out that this isn’t like when Chi-Chi or Satan deals with anyone else, and there’s an obvious power imbalance. In terms of physical strength, they’re somewhat evenly matched. Anyway.

So, while Bulma commiserates with Chi-Chi, she mentions that Vegeta went to train under Whis six months ago, and Goku overhears this and flips out. He wants to go too, but he has to wait for Whis to come back to Earth, as Bulma has no means of contacting him. So he keeps bugging the shit out of Bulma, asking if she’s heard from Whis yet.

Then Whis finally shows up, and Goku bugs the shit out of him. He doesn’t start behaving himself until Whis warns him that Goku might not be trainable if he can’t show a little more restraint than this.

This raises Chi-Chi’s ire, as she thought Goku and Bulma were planning a surprise party or something, but it turns out Goku’s looking to skip the planet to train again. She scolds Goku and puts him in some kind of joint-lock while their kids try to convince Chi-Chi to let Goku leave. Then Whis gets up to head back home, and Goku runs off to grab on to him before he goes.

And as soon as Goku’s gone, Chi-Chi is suddenly fine with it, like “Well, it’s Goku, whaddya gonna do?” She asks Bulma about having an actual party and Bulma’s like yeah, why not. In space, Goku assures Whis that his home life will be just fine, saying that Chi-Chi understands him better than anyone. So I guess she just nags him for no real reason? Like, is this a kink thing? Don’t answer that.

I’m serious, don’t answer tha

#dragon ball #dragon ball super #2023dbapocryphaliveblog #goku #chi chi #bulma #whis #pan #son pan #mr satan #videl #gohan #krillin

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whumpsimp · 1 year

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I watched Mission impposbles rogue nation

The trailer

I suspect they just killed the previous movies love intrest

I don't know why they keep talking about the irs idk im European

"how do you know we can trust her?!" (woman takes off her shirt)

mmmmmmmoterbike msexy

The Movie

ngl I could write a better script than this

radio silence mmmmmmok

the PLANE HYDRAULICS are ENCRYPTED? O K

tom cruise is just there,,alright

who is ethan

I have consulted.an aeronautical engineer and they called bullshit

apparently you don't even really need hydraulics to take off so it wouldn't.even stop anything

let's. not even talk aboj5 the door

or the parachutes

this man's bones would be like gravel in a blender

"you looking for anything in particular" "something...rare" he's looking for loona Tom cruse isn't participating in the boycott cancel him

I have less.than no idea what a shadow Wilson is

is the vinal going to give him orders

this is like that one episode of a series of unfortunate events with the movie theater

he's been tracking the syndicate? so has half of the Dream smp

I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be INFJ

"we ARE the syndicate"

oh finally the torture has started

OK after a minute of akward straight people tension the torture may Actually be starting!

the bone doctor ....................ok

"they call you the Bone Doctor. the funny thing is-" *blender noises*

"our orders were to break him down slowly" bestie you do that with cat ears and gaslighting not whatever the Cia does

this movie is not good. I was expecting bad but honestly how did this get approved

tome cross 🥺 brunette woman 😏 me 😐

I am third wheeling this movie rn

THERE WASNT EVEN ANY TORTURE

AT ALL

NONE

"the syndicate is real" of course they are Derivakat wrote a whole song about it

OK but actually why did they low-key copy the plot pf a sports anime where the third year's only have this last chance to Win

it hasn't even been 20 minutes I'm giving up

#mission impossible #is bad #sorry not even remotely sorry #commentary #live tweeting #boycott bbc #movie critic

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thirtenth · 2 years

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What a universe. What a planet. Just when you think you’ve seen the lot, there’s something like this.

#doctor who #dwedit #thirteenth doctor #yasmin khan #thasmin #dw spoilers #jodie whittaker #mandip gill #WAS THIS A REAL EPISODE???????????????????????????????????? IR WAS I JUST DREAMING?????????????#HOLY SHIT #I MADE THIS AND JUST.... WAS IN DISBELIEF THE WHOLE TIME...........#they were SO close to kissing......................................................................#*#1k

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buffster · 2 years

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To Shanshu in L.A (ATS 1.22)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

Should we skip everything and go right to the catharsis that was Lindsey getting his hand chopped off? No? Okay, fine.

The finale starts with Wesley still trying to interpret the scroll; specifically, the word “Shanshu”. He still hasn’t cracked it, which Cordelia is enjoying poking fun at him about. Unlike with Buffy, Angel is the glue that holds this random group together. They’re all bound by a loyalty and respect for him. Gunn, Cordelia, and Wesley have no separate ties to each other as of yet. It frequently forces Angel into the role of mediator.

The gang quickly discovers that Lindsey is back at Wolfram & Hart and promoted. Wesley seems shocked, Angel less so. Cordelia is just intrigued by the benefits package. David Nabbit drops by for a visit and continues to be in awe of them. You can tell he so badly wants to be a part of AI, but ironically the best thing he could do for them is financial advice or financial help, which is exactly what he’s tired of. I’m not really sure why his character sticks around so long.

After his visit, Wesley realizes he knows the meaning of the mysterious Shanshu: death. Angel isn’t in the least concerned that he’s just been prophesized to die, in stark contrast to what we saw Buffy face in Prophecy Girl. Cordelia and Wesley are concerned he’s cut off. But really...what does anyone expect of him? He can’t find any real happiness, first because he’s undead and second because of that pesky curse. Being cut off is kind of a must for him. Of course, Cordelia tries to tempt him from the edge with coffee and doughnuts.

For the most part, everyone leaves Angel to his distance. They understand it more than Buffy’s friends do on her show. (Side note: I feel like if Buffy and Angel had started at the same time the whole fandom would be shipping the two leads and dreaming of them meeting. They both carry similar burdens that cause them to be cut off).

Angel later runs into Detective Lockley, who is keeping track of all supernatural cases and earning ire from her colleagues in the process. She seems hardened and is in a pretty dark place. Her attitude to Angel is pretty brutal. I think it would’ve probably been better to wrap up her arc as a lesson in some people not being able to handle the supernatural (seeing as she wasn’t going to stick around long term). She seemed nice, we liked her, but ultimately, she snapped from the change in worldview. It would have been more satisfying than what we got, anyway.

Vocah (a demon summoned by Wolfram & Hart) kills the Oracles, traps Cordelia in a never-ending vision, steals back the scroll needed to summon Darla, and blows up Angel’s office with Wesley inside it. Angel manages to pull Wes out, but things are looking pretty bad for our hero when he runs into Kate again.

Kate: I'm glad we're not playing friends anymore. Cause I'm not your friend. And I am real sick and tired of your attitude. Let me explain something Angel, there's a little thing called the law, and I don't care what kind of midnight creature you are, you're not above it.

Angel: This isn't about the law, this is about a little thing called life. Now I'm sorry about your father, and I'm sorry about all the other ghosts in your head -- but I didn't kill your father and I didn't put those ghosts there and I'm sick and tired of you blaming me for everything you can't handle. You want to be enemies? Try me.

I have to admit, I was cheering him on here. She was really starting to wear on my nerves.

Once the ghosts of the Oracles tell Angel he needs to retrieve the scroll to save Cordy he turns to Gunn for help. Poor guy doesn’t get much appreciation but does Angel a lot of favors. Angel sends him to the hospital as Cordelia’s guard, which I’m doubtful went off without a hitch.

We get to see that all this effort is so Wolfram & Hart can raise something to deal with Angel. There’s something about the lawyers that’s just begging for someone to teach them a lesson. Holland is oh-so-casual about turning up late to rituals because they last forever and they’re all very confident about dealing with demons. It’s just the Senior Partners they seem to fear. They all arrive at the ritual confident things will go as planned until Angel busts in.

Lindsey: I see that you're either the one with the power, or you're powerless.

Angel: Uh huh. Do you see what I'm gonna do to you if you don't give me that scroll?

Angel fights Vocah and eventually triumphs. Then, in one of his most spectacular moments, Angel throws his scythe and cuts off Lindsey’s hand before he can throw the scroll in the fire. Buffy would never have done it. And it was glorious. I really enjoy Angel’s lack of empathy for people who have chosen evil. He knows all about being committed to that life and isn’t about to mess with people who are choosing that. He’s pretty cynical about it, honestly.

Angel brings Cordelia back with the help of Wes. She seems scarred by her experience and realizing how many people need help.

In a moment of spectacular wrongness, Wesley realizes he interpreted the prophecy incorrectly. It doesn’t say Angel is going to die. It says he will become human. This actually seems to have an effect. You can see the idea dawn on his face and realize with him that it’s something he’s always wanted, even if he never dared dream of it. I think it seems like a real possibility to him when he learns of the prophecy because he knows he has to earn it. Some part of him knew he hadn’t in I Will Remember You, which is why he gave it back pretty easily. But this is a real chance to change the never-ending cycle of his existence and redemption.

Guess who’s back, back, back, back again? Darla’s back, back, back, tell a friend.

Character Notes:

Cordelia Chase: She goes out to buy art supplies in an attempt to help Angel connect. I like that Angel seems to at least appreciate her efforts. I think he’d be touched, even if he never used the supplies.

#toshanshuinla #david greenwalt #angel #cordelia chase #wesley wyndam pryce #charles gunn #Lindsey McDonald #david nabbit #holland #lilah morgan #darla #kate lockley

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mc-critical · 3 years

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I really don’t understand the amount of people who apparently dislike Mihrimah for not giving Rüstem a chance/not having Rüstem grow on her. I don’t know entirely how I feel about Mihrimah as a character but I feel like if you were to dislike her that’d be a silly reason. It was a opportunistic marriage, one she never wanted and to a man she never loved. Not to mention he was also borderline pedophilic (when he said to her on her wedding night that he had been “waiting for this moment for years” when she was 17..okay) and then coercing her into consumating the marriage through the threat of suicide. Sure, the circumstances of Rüstem’s life were sad, but I don’t understand how that entails him being *entitled* to Mihrimah’s love or affection. And if anything I found Rüstem to be misogynistic and possibly even abusive, which likely made marriage to him all the worse. Mihrimah’s definitely not perfect or above criticism, but that doesn’t mean she owed any man love, sex or affection, royal borne woman or not.

I don't understand them, either. Because this is the last thing Mihrimah should be disliked for.

Rüstem is a very odious character with minimal redeeming qualities. His supposed love for Mihrimah is established disturbingly early on and while that may have fled over the audience's heads (it sure did fly over my head when I first watched the show!) because their marriage is a historical fact and as such, is automatically considered the normal course of things - the questionable pedophilic implications are definitely there and send off the alarming signs of utterly problematic behavior. Sure, he's done his duty by saving her after she fell off a horse and (little!) Mihrimah thanked him for it, but it is clearly seen in his eyes by the second episode he's on-screen that there's something more and something baffling when the girl is so young. And it only escalated from there.

Obviously, most of his fanbase ignores or flat out misses this aspect of his character, but I also find people that think that his attitude to Mihrimah is the only bad thing about Rüstem when I find most of his negative traits to be present outside of Mihrimah, but with her witnessing them. I feel the connection to Iskender Çelebi and the way he bacame the stable-man of the castle are his most important character establishing moments: they shine a light into his sneakiness and ability to play dirty, but also reveal his immediate prejudice against Ibrahim. The ambition, similar to Hürrem's, but not for the same reasons, is set up from the get-go. He's seemingly following Iskender, just like he comes to seemigly follow Hürrem, but he always forges his own path for his own gain. His alleged "loyalty" is the thing that Rüstem usually gets the most credit for, but while he begins to look like Hürrem's loyal companion that shall fulfill her every order, this whole facade is deconstructed and ultimately, totally broken apart in S04. His character establishing moments recontextualize all the decisions he makes in that season and show the true nature of his ambition: he followed Hürrem when she prevailed over everyone, he followed her when she seemingly gave him the world and all the desired power and when she and the one she wanted for the throne were put into a disadvantaged position and Selim got the upper hand, he ran straight for the opportunity, despite of him making an oath in front of the Quran not to do that. He turns out to be simply an opportunist hyena who works only for his own gain. Nothing more. Just like he saw the opportunity to get rid of the stable-man before him in the past, now he sees the opportunity to be on the winning side again with Selim. He doesn't care who is he in front of and who he promised what, as long as they're of no use to him, he bails. His "loyalty" immediately disappears from his positive traits, because it turns out he never had it in the first place. People praise him for his loyalty for Mihrimah, but that "loyalty" also lasted so long - when he found out that she wouldn't ever come to love him, he began to bang with Gracia Mendez, in conjunction with the betrayal of what Hürrem stood up for. Now, tell me, how can Mihrimah love such a guy? That was one of the only reasons she tolerated him and when even that was lost, how can she still keep her ties with him?

[His backstory is sad indeed, but the only thing it does is put his actions into perspective, not justify them or make him likeable somehow. Especially when what that "character lore dump" specifically explains is his refusal to tell Nigar where her daughter is - the backstory makes that action logical for his character, but it's still framed as nothing short of spiteful. That said, he still does have some soft sides and the arc with his brother is where I found him the most sympathetic - this is the time Rüstem actually showed vulnerability without false alarms or disguise and his brother was probably the only thing that was precious to him and stayed precious after all these years, consistently throughout his screentime. What helps even more, is the brother's role as a moral compass and the last bridge between the past/his loyalties and the future/the victories he would achieve through opportunism. That was the last gasp of what was left of his possible humanity and after his brother was killed, he let it go almost instantly, because... well, after he willingly chose his own life in the saray, he might as well continue to live it, right? Him saving a boy in S03 without any hesitation whatsoever, was also respectable. But these demonstrations of a softer side of his being are also taking place outside of Mihrimah, but with her not witnessing them altogether. And they do little in changing the general impression of Rüstem's character and his relationship with Mihrimah.]

We have to keep in mind that Mihrimah's whole S03 arc was finding purpose in her life and finding true love. She had many love stories throughout the series with different people, different personalities and different motives to try to make it work with them. No matter what they've went through together and despite of them all having the same outcomes due to different outside (and inside) factors, there is a reason she fell for these people in the first place. Okay, while for Bali Bey it was a bizarre, puppy, immature, childish love, for Taşlicalı something truly genuine began to flourish with all the glances, poems, dedication (Mahidevran succeeded to break them up, but it's not to be denied that Taşlicalı was very hard to convince and he was still thinking of her afterwards) and sweet words. She got a call for a new adventure with him. Bali Bey, on the other hand, was adored by her mostly for his handsomeness, I feel, but even when he tore all her dreams apart, he showed tact and respect. What I mean to say is, if Rüstem has qualities that are "worthy of Mihrimah", wouldn't she see them? Wouldn't she see all these virtues? Because all she sees before the marriage are his words that she will marry him, that she will be his and that's it. The best she sees of him is his good manners when he asks her whether she wants something or stuff, but he could do that with everyone else, knowing his post, and the previous implications make even that alone head scratching. Why would she want a man like that? I agree with all your points. Are you, people, denying Mihrimah her feelings? She realized the potential advantages of this marriage and agreed to do it regardless, why does she have to come to love him when he truly gives her no real reasons to, even before she married him?

I believe Rüstem cares about Mihrimah, albeit in his own distorted, toxic way, but in reality, he didn't do her any good. His relationship with Mihrimah revels in manipulation and facades for her to keep, because she has to "protect" her brothers. Rüstem never actually took account of her own feelings or opinions on matters, especially when what she proposed wasn't an opportunistic enough option for him to afford. Their interactions are mostly focused on the survival of the game and the actions that have to be taken to achieve that. He often puts an unbelievable amount of pressure on her, which while given because of the system they live in, hurt more than it helped. Their relationship was never allowed to flourish in a healthy manner and Mihrimah could never be truly herself in it, not even for a moment. The castle she lived in, her home, was merely full of tension every day, not a source of comfort. His stoic, serious cunning contrasts with her own spirit. Not to mention that it always seemed he considered his marriage to Mihrimah as a price, a goal he had finally achieved and I doubt that she wasn't aware of it to some extent. The root of the marriage is only political opportunism and no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot force a person to love someone they're with only out of sheer necessity, only for a purpose for "the greater good". Rüstem never did anything to earn Mihrimah's love and she shouldn't be hated for not loving him. This is what MC Rüstem is as a character, whether we like it or not, and he isn't a healthy person for Mihrimah. If she couldn't warm up to him when she fully got to know him in their alone time, that means something is missing. That means he just isn't for her and. that's. OKAY.

But there may be reasons why some people could dislike Mihrimah because of it. I offer my experience with cases I've encountered in forums: these people are usually very invested in Hürrem's character to the point they view everything she does as excusable, at the least, so of course they would want to justify Hürrem marrying Mihrimah to Rüstem. But plainly selfish political gain is no justification and that may leave cracks in their view of Hürrem and it all may disturb them to a great amount. That's why they channel this ire on Mihrimah and perhaps demand for her to warm up to Rüstem, so they get the justification Hürrem supposedly deserves, especially paralleled with Valide and Mahidevran's previous attempt to marry Aybige and Mustafa, who.. surprise, surprise (but not really), didn't love each other. There's another facet to this, with people seeing or wanting to see Mihri only as "her mother's daughter" and not wanting to marry, not loving Rüstem destroys that picture, because there's a "crack in the system", she doesn't listen to her mother, who obviously knows better and that could be disappointing or demotivating, given the expectations she has set when she defended her in E84. Or maybe they dislike Mihrimah for not loving Rüstem, because they do find something in him. They love "bad boys" and genuinely don't know why Mihrimah doesn't, either and that could make them see her as an annoyance. Or maybe they just anticipate more juicy scenes between her and Rüstem because of the probable chemistry between the two actors and if they watch it only for the spectacle (believe me, such people really exist!), they may insist that Mihrimah is only spoiled and ruined everything for them. Or maybe, again, people may find this insulting to the historical facts or whatnot and if Mihrimah didn't not stand him, this "mess" of writing could be fixed a little. The writers have ruined her character along with the history, according to them. It's absurd, I know and I don't get it, either, but the reasons are there, as far as I'm concerned. That still doesn't take away from the fact that this is the weirdest accusation you could throw at Mihrimah, with how Rüstem himself is.

You're right that Mihrimah has many other, vastly more offputting traits that she could be disliked for. Little Mihrimah is very brash and spoiled and entitled, to the point she gave her own mother a run for her money. That was gone when she grew up, but it would be understandable if some didn't actually believe the change, especially when she shows this side of hers again every now and then. She could be perceptive, but could also be prone to influence at the same time, sometimes to an annoying degree. There have been times where she has let her own bias lead her and that clouded her judgement in several occasions. She came to idealize her mother too much sometimes, as well. She was terribly insistent on her infatuation with Bali Bey and letting go of it took her very long. She didn't want to listen much to the enemies of her own mother. Her huge love for Bayezid prevented her from viewing Selim as objectively. She could be vengeful. She could be bossy. She couldn't fully face someone calling her out on her mistakes. (the confrontation with Selim in E139) She became so engrained to her castle life that when she was offered a way out, she didn't follow it. All these are very interesting character flaws for me, but I get why they might be a dealbreaker. But disliking or hating her for not loving Rüstem? Heck, hating her for her contribution to Mustafa's death alone is more valid than that! Disliking her for all these flaws piling up together is perfectly reasonable. But for this? It's strange.

#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #mihrimah sultan #rustem pasha #ask #stuffandthangs

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jaskiers-sweetkiss · 4 years

Text

Sunset Swerve - Part 3

Pairing: Luke x OC

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: none(?)

A/N: Me publishing back to back updates? More likely than you think. We’re finally through with episode 2! As always, let me know what you think and send me a message or ask if you want to be tagged in future chapters! Also, thank you to all who have left kind messages on the last few parts, I really appreciate it! Now back to your (ir)regularly scheduled fanfic.

Part 2 Masterlist

___

“Let’s go, Moss,” Luke yelled and Jordan groaned, “Rise and shine.”

For what felt like the last few hours, Jordan had been curled up on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket. They were all pretty certain that ghosts couldn’t sleep but Jordan felt exhausted from the day and she didn’t feel like exploring all night with the guys so she did her best to emulate the experience. At some point, she had reached a dream-like stupor, which she assumed was as close as she’d get to real sleep.

“Where exactly are we going?” She asked, rolling over to face the inside of the room and slowly opening her eyes.

She was met with the three boys much too close to comfort and staring at her. She screamed on instinct, sitting up quickly and pulling the blanket with her, holding it tightly to her chest. The guys started screaming too, the four ghosts momentarily thrown into chaos.

“You can’t do that to a girl!” Jordan admonished, standing up to slap each of their shoulders. “Give a girl some privacy!”

“You were sleeping on the couch,” Reggie pointed out and Jordan scowled.

“And you guys could’ve stood a respectful distance away!”

Reggie nodded, stepping back and raising his hands in surrender.

“C’mon, we don’t have time to keep arguing,” Luke complained, “We’re gonna be late!”

“Late for what?” Jordan asked, still having no clue what was going on.

“Julie’s gonna play for her teacher to get back into her music program!”

The guys had filled her in on the drama of Julie’s life the night before but she’d hadn’t heard anything about her playing today.

“That’s new,” she remarked and Luke grinned.

“It was my idea,” he seemed so proud of himself. “I convinced her last night.”

“So she’s going to ambush her music teacher?” Jordan asked, remembering Luke’s solution to everything when they were alive.

“The Sunset Curve way.” He grinned proudly and Jordan rolled her eyes.

“Teachers usually aren’t big fans of Ambush Mode,” she sighed but started to get ready anyway, gathering up a new outfit from the bag of her clothes she had found and making her way to the bathroom.

It was nothing too special, she was mostly just happy to be out of the clothes she had died in. The pair of high waisted mom jeans paired with her worn Rolling Stones t-shirt and her Doc Martens were much more comfortable. She kept the simple black choker she’d been wearing the day before and cuffed her jeans, deciding at the last minute to tie her hair back in a half up-do with a scrunchie. She was in and out of the bathroom in less than five minutes, though when she opened the door Luke looked like he had been about ready to start yelling for her to hurry up.

“So are we going to support Julie or what?” She asked, pulling her bag across her body while the guys just stood in place.

“Right, yeah, okay,” Alex said softly while Luke rolled his eyes, probably thinking up some snide comment about how she had been the one they were waiting on.

Surprisingly, he kept whatever he was thinking to himself as the four of them converged, all poofing out of the garage together.

___

Jordan didn’t know what she expected to see when she arrived at Julie’s high school but a collection of girls in brightly colored wigs and matching outfits singing and dancing in the gym was not it.

“Man, I miss high school,” she heard Reggie sigh and rolled her eyes. Boys.

Jordan turned to Alex, hoping the boy would have a similar reaction as her but as she looked to the blond she found him mimicking the choreography.

“Oh my gosh, yes Alex!” She cheered him on and he grinned before Luke elbowed him, shaking his hand in front of his neck to say ‘cut it out.’

They turned to see Julie, looking clearly disheartened and Jordan gave her an apologetic look.

“Julie!” She gasped excitedly, finally getting a good look at the girl. “That jumpsuit is so fly!”

She knew from their introduction yesterday that the young Latina had a great sense of style and the camo jumpsuit she was wearing today only served to further prove that.

Julie gave her a confused smile, like she wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not, and Jordan furrowed her brows trying to figure out why her compliment hadn’t been properly received.

“People don’t say ‘fly’ in 2020, do they?” She asked dejectedly and Julie shook her head.

“Okay well then that jumpsuit is so cool,” she modified and Julie smiled graciously.

Their attentions were drawn back to the gym floor as the girl group finished their performance.

“Thank you, thank you,” Jordan mocked the leader’s overly preppy voice and attitude and Julie laughed.

“What’re you waiting for?” Reggie asked after Julie’s friend had walked away and two women who Jordan assumed to be the principal and music teacher began speaking to the crowd. “This is your time!”

“Yeah. I mean, you look really nervous,” Alex observed concernedly, “Like yak-in-a-bowl nervous.”

“I just don’t think I had enough time to work on the song.” Julie addressed Luke.

“I wouldn’t have given you the song if I didn’t think you were gonna rock it!” Luke reassured her enthusiastically. “Now, there’s a piano on that stage with your name on it.”

The four watched as Julie nodded before running out of the gym to get to the stage door.

“You gave her one of your songs?” Jordan asked the guitarist curiously.

“Yeah, we never got a chance to record it but it’s perfect for her voice.”

“Which song?” Jordan asked. She may have hated the band but there was no denying that their music was good and she had heard plenty of it over the years.

“Bright.”

“Oh, I love that one,” Jordan gushed before she realized what she was saying and who she was talking too. “I mean, it’s not as good as any of Apollo 81’s stuff but,” she tried to brush it off though she knew she had failed.

Thankfully, the boys decided to let it go as Julie had just stepped up to the piano.

“You got this!” Luke called out and Julie smiled, taking a breath to steel her nerves before starting the song.

“Damn, you should’ve added a piano part to this years ago,” Jordan noted quietly as they listened to Julie play. Luke nodded, watching the girl with awe.

“We should play with her,” he said turning to look excitedly at the other boys before raising a brow at Jordan, silently inviting her to join them.

“I don’t know the song.”

“Please, a talented musician like you can figure it out.” He spoke like he was teasing her however his eyes held a sincerity that had her chest swelling with pride.

She rolled her eyes but nodded, the four of them exchanging grins before poofing to the stage just in time for the chorus.

“And rise through the night, you and I. we will fight to shine together, bright forever,” A surprised grin took over Julie’s face as they materialized with their instruments, Jordan deciding on filing the rhythm guitar part. Julie jumped up from the piano, immediately taking center stage. For someone who, as far as Jordan knew, had never been in a band, the girl sure knew how to rock a stage. She had a major stage presence. “And rise, through the night, you and I. We will fight to shine together, bright forever.”

It felt so good to be back on a stage performing that it took them all a minute to realize that Julie’s classmates could see them. They all shared looks of shock, Luke instructing them to ‘just go with it’ as he jumped in for the second verse.

“In times that I doubted myself, I felt like I needed some help. Stuck in my head, with nothing left.” Luke turned to look at Jordan, gesturing the girl over to his mic with a head nod and Jordan grinned. Her voice joined his vocals as Julie continued to rock out with Reggie and Alex. “I feel something around me now. So unclear, lifting me out. I found the ground, I’m marching on.”

Jordan stepped back in time for Reggie to take over for the pre-chorus, grinning as she watched the two boys perform together for the first time in twenty-five years. It felt like magic to be up on that stage with them, her own styles mixing with that of Sunset Curve and Julie. Luke wasn’t kidding when he said she was a powerhouse. The two had immediate chemistry as well, Julie walking him to center stage as he started the bridge, the two rocking out together before the rest of them joined in for the chorus once more. Jordan had never been happier to sing backup, the girl’s vocals were killer.

The song was over much too soon for Jordan’s tastes. She was still buzzing with adrenaline as she slung her guitar to the side, taking a bow with the group. However, before they could finish soaking up the applause they vanished, reappearing at the side of the stage.

“Oh god, how is she gonna explain that?” Jordan groaned, looking anxiously between the three guys who looked about as clueless as she did.

“Wait, were those holograms?” A girl called out from the crowd and Julie let out the breath she was holding, quickly affirming the girl’s suspicions.

“Holograms? Like in Star Wars?” Reggie questioned, eyes wide, “Those are real now?”

“Apparently,” Luke answered, seemingly also in disbelief. “That’s wild, that they could see us when we were playing but not when the music stopped.”

“Ooh, we should double-check!” Reggie said, climbing up the stairs before wiggling his butt in front of the unfazed crowd. “Yeah, I don’t think they can see us.”

“I wish I couldn’t see you.” Alex deadpanned and Jordan snorted.

The guys were swept away with the crowd of students as they were dismissed from the gym, Reggie eagerly attempting to get one of the multi-colored girl’s number. Jordan stuck back as Julie spoke to her teacher, wanting to know if the girl got back into her program. However, she too was sidetracked as a small boy walked off the stage with a string bass, dragging it carelessly down the stairs.

“Oh, hell no.” She gasped, aggressively lecturing the boy as she followed him out of the gym despite knowing he couldn’t hear her. “That is no way to treat such a gorgeous instrument!”

She only stopped her passionate rant when she hit the hallway and noticed the guys there staring at her like she was crazy.

“You know he can’t hear you, right?” Luke asked slowly, like if he spoke too aggressively she would become more unhinged.

“You should’ve seen him drag that bass down the stairs! It was criminal,” she explained, before shouting down the hall at the boy, “Criminal!”

“O-kay,” Luke said, dramatically looking away from her and making circles with his finger near his head to signal her craziness to the guys.

“You’re a real comedian, Patterson,” she responded dryly and Luke laughed.

“Anyway, let’s go find Julie and talk about what just happened!”

They wandered around the school trying to locate their living friend. It felt weird to be back in a high school, especially one that had been so different from her own. Unlike the guys, none of Apollo 81 had dropped out of school for the band. This meant that they’d had to continuously bust their asses to get gigs and stay on top of their schoolwork; they didn’t have all afternoon to practice like Sunset Curve but Jordan always felt like they were better for it. Still, high school seemed to have changed considerably in the twenty-five years since her death. For starters, they definitely didn’t have a music program like Julie’s, sure there was band class but Jordan learned most of her musical skills outside of the school building.

“There weren’t this many people dressed like animals when we were in high school, right?” Jordan asked after accidentally walking through one of said students.

“Definitely not.” Alex answered, looking just as confused as she felt.

She knew they were dressed up like the school’s mascot, a blue bobcat, but she just couldn’t figure out why.

“Julie!” She called out once they finally located the girl, “What’s with all girls dressed like bobcats?”

Luke elbowed her in the side, stepping in front of her.

“Who cares!” He exclaimed, as if the words were bursting out of him uncontrolled, “Are we not gonna talk about what happened?!”

“Yeah, the whole school saw you. It’s kinda freaking me out,” Julie said, sounding like she still hadn’t quite come to terms with it.

“Okay good, cause it’s kinda freaking me out too,” Alex started, talking and moving with a manic energy. “Y’know, you could see us, and now people can see us whenever we play music. And my clothes are made of air, but for some reason I’m still getting a wedgie.”

Luke patted the blond on the back sympathetically while Jordan leaned passed the boy to stare at Alex concernedly.

“Dude, are you okay?”

“Nah,” Alex said airily, but waved off her concern.

“The important thing is that we rocked that place!” Luke interjected, rerouting the conversation. “They loved you!”

“Are you kidding?” Julie said excitedly, “They loved us!”

The group all shared proud smiles.

“That was a great song, Luke. Thanks,” Julie said sincerely and Luke grinned, blushing slightly.

“Did you see the cheerleaders looking at me? I think they were looking at me!” Reggie added excitedly and Luke grinned, matching his energy as the dark haired boy grabbed his face. “Please tell me they were looking at me.”

“Bro, they were looking at you!”

“Oh, I knew it!”

“I’m so- I’m so confused, y’know?” Alex spoke, taking the conversation back to his anxieties. “The afterlife should come with instructions, or a quick-start quite or something.”

“Seriously man, are you good?” Jordan asked again and Alex shrugged.

“Well, the good news is everyone thought you were holograms and I got back into the program.”

Julie’s announcement was met with a chorus of congratulations but the girl didn’t look very excited herself.

“Why do you look so bummed?” Reggie asked.

“Yeah, dude, you’re making this face,” Luke proceeded to do a poor reenactment of Julie’s expression.

“That is not my face,” Julie said pointedly and Jordan nodded in agreement while the guys all made noises of dissent, “And things just got weird between me and Flynn. She asked about you guys and I couldn’t say.”

“Sweet, girls are already talking about us,” Reggie said lowly and Luke high fived him.

“Stop it assholes,” Jordan sighed, smacking them both on the chest from her position between them. “This is serious!’

“Thanks Jordan,” Julie smiled sadly, “I can’t tell her about you guys for the same reason I can’t tell my dad; she’ll think I’ve gone off the deep end!”

“Well this dude definitely thinks you’ve gone off the deep-end,” Reggie said, pointing to the janitor who had just walked through Jordan. She shivered, still not used to the feeling of being made of air.

“I need to get to class,” Julie finally spoke once the disgruntled janitor had walked away.

“Later Julie,” Reggie called. “Ooh, and tell those cheerleaders I’m single!”

“Oh, and that he’s dead.” Alex quipped, earning a high five from Jordan.

“Nonono, leave that part out!” Reggie panicked. “Leave that- she’s gone.”

The rest of the group merely shook their heads at the boy’s antics before they all poofed home to the garage.

Part 4

___

Taglist: @oopsiedoopsie23

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callmeelle22 · 3 years

Text

Blue Dream, V

Pairing: Iris West x Barry Alen

Rating: E

Chapter Word Count:7, 733

Summary: A series of sporadic dates between Iris and Barry turn into something more, a story in its own making.

Chapter I: Primetime

Chapter II: It's Cool

Chapter III: Anything

Chapter IV: Comfortable

Chapter V: The Way; He doesn’t fumble the chance to touch her, and so he presses a hand to the small of her back and follows her as she sways, humming the song that’s playing, is it the way you love me, baby? is it the way you love me, baby?, ignoring the obvious implication as they move. She puts her face in to the crook of his neck, inhales the clean scent of him. His sweater is soft and he’s hard against her, humming along too. They shouldn’t be like this, here, but Iris is starting to get caught up in it, their story. (Read below or on the AO3 link on the chapter title.)

Chapter VI: Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

Chapter VII: I'm in Love with You

Chapter VIII: Blue Dream

The Way

Woke up this morning

With a smile on my face

Barry: I had to look for crime clues at the bottom of a snake pit today. Hope your day was better than mine.

Iris: Well, I had to go off on a freshman student for coming at me about her shitty article, so not likely.

Barry: Yeah? Did it get physical?

Iris: Don’t be a cliche.

Barry: :)

Barry: Watched an episode of this Bridgerton show you like. I don’t get the hype.

Iris: Two words: Simon Bassett

Barry: Hmm.

Barry: I’m certain I look better.

Iris: Don’t lie to yourself like that.

Barry: Damn. Burn.

Iris: How will you ever recover?

Barry: I’m sure if I get you spread out over my face, I could.

Barry: And get you to forget about Simon Bassett too.

Iris:

Barry: Iris?

Iris: Sorry; I spilled my coffee.

Iris: I’ve thought of my next question.

Barry: Yeah?

Iris: What would be an ideal date for you?

Barry: Any one that you’re on with me.

Iris: That’s a cop out answer, Bear.

Barry: Bear?

Iris: I’m trying it out.

Barry: I can get behind that. Bears are polite dicks, right?

Iris: I hate you.

Barry: I’ve got a couple of scratches on my neck that prove you don’t.

Iris:

Barry: Baby?

Iris: Be serious. Ideal date.

Barry: I am.

Barry: You make me smile, Iris. You’re pretty and kind, even if you get a little grumpy sometimes. I’ve had a great time with you, when we’re walking around or having dinner or eating sandwiches by the lake. When we’re getting high or having sex.

Barry: And I want to keep getting to know you. So I am being serious. My ideal date is any one that you’re on with me.

Iris: How am I supposed to even respond to that.

Iris: Be ready on Tuesday at 6. Can you swing it?

Barry: I can.

Iris: Dress a little dressier than casual.

Barry: Did you get them?

Iris: Yes, Barry, they’re beautiful. What are they?

Barry: They’re called camellias.

Iris: I was very surprised to see them on my porch when I got home. And I love the vase too.

Iris: Really. Thank you. I don’t think anyone has ever gotten me flowers before.

Barry: Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. I can’t wait to see you on Tuesday, baby.

Iris: Me either, Bear.

Iris: I think I still smell you on my couch, and I cleaned it. That’s ridiculous, right?

Barry: Only if me being able to still smell you on my fingers is.

Iris: What are you doing to me, Barry?

Barry: Nothing you aren’t already doing to me.

Barry: I was grinning down at my phone earlier and Chester and Cisco started giving me shit about you.

Barry: They told me I’m whipped.

Iris: Better than your boss announcing in her office that she’s glad you’re apparently getting good sex.

Barry: You are.

Iris: 🙄

Iris: Not lately.

Barry: Soon, baby.

Barry: And Iris?

Iris: Yeah?

Barry: I am.

Barry: Whipped.

“Who’s on the phone?”

It’s another Sunday night, a week after she’s last seen Barry. Mid-term prep and a triple homicide case have kept them both busy. They’ve exchanged a few text messages throughout the week and have tried to meet up for coffee once, though their schedules didn’t align.

She’s done her usual Sunday cleaning routine since she didn’t get a chance the week before and she’s even taken the time to condition and twist out her hair instead of flat ironing it as she normally would. Now, she sits back in one corner of her sofa, Law & Order: SVU playing in the background on the television and Linda and Wally sitting on the other side of the couch and in the armchair, respectively. Her laptop is in her lap and she’s cleaning up her “Loving” post before she officially posts it. Linda is writing, likely working on her new manuscript, and Wally is doing homework, books laid out on the arm of the chair and on the floor too.

She doesn’t answer right away because she’s unsure if she’s ready to tell yet. They’ve been texting all week and Iris feels even more like a teenager with a crush. She’s been going to bed with images of him in her head, of his kiss and his touch and the fact that he really did make her come all over his face on a blanket outside by the lake. And she can’t ignore the fact that she likes him. He’s funny and the likable kind of asshole and he says these sweet things that catch her off guard every. single. time. The flowers he’d dropped off when she was still at work on Friday are sitting on the counter, a mix of red and white flowers with open petals, short stems, and big green leaves.

“Iris?”

“Hmm?” She looks up from the last messages, I am. Whipped., and it’s to stare at her brother and best friend, who are watching her back. “What?”

“Who’re you texting?”

“I’m not texting anyone.”

“For a storyteller,” Linda says, “you are a horrible liar.”

“Take the phone, Linda,” Wally says, and Iris looks over at him, appalled. Wally is a handsome kid, 20 going on 37, with skin the same dusky shade as Iris’s and dark brown eyes, his hair tapered on the sides and higher, curlier on the top.

“What do you mean take my phone?”

Linda carefully sets her laptop to the side, and before Iris can ask another question, Linda jumps over to the side of the couch, reaching for Iris’s phone.

“Get away from me, you idiot,” Iris screams, and with Wally’s encouragement, Linda climbs onto Iris’s lap and snatches the phone from her hand. Wally hops up from his own seat to hold Iris down so that Iris can’t get up. She tries to struggle against him, but it’s no use. For a limber thing, Wally is strong.

“Who is it?”

As Iris makes note of the fact that she should definitely change her phone passcode, she settles under her brother’s hold as Linda looks through her phone.

“We’re gonna have to talk about privacy,” she grumbles.

Luckily, the text messages don’t go back as far as she’s known Barry, but unfortunately, there’s no hiding their budding relationship.

“Who is Barry?” Linda says, eyebrows raised high as she slides through. “And where can I get one?”

“You already have one,” Iris replies dryly.

“I guess,” Linda says, “But Dan’s not telling me he wants me to spread out on his face in a text message.”

“Iris!” Wally shouts.

“Wally is too young to hear all of this,” Iris tries.

“Oh please,” Linda says. “Let’s not forget that I caught him and that Johnathan guy hooking up in a closet at your dad’s house. Your little brother was on his knees.” That she adds with a saucy little grin.

“Can we actually not talk about me or the apparent fact that my sister’s getting tongued down by someone named Barry?”

“I’m okay with that.”

Linda bounces back to her side of the sofa, still holding on to Iris’s phone. “Well, I’m not. I mean, Wally I am 100% fine with never seeing you deepthroat a dick again. But I do want to know why my best friend is apparently out here pussy whipping white men named Barry and I don’t know about it.”

“How do you know he’s white?”

She gets the eye from both Linda and Wally.

“Okay, fine. He’s white. But he’s really nice.”

“Alright.” Linda catches her gaze and holds it, her brown eyes curious and, if Iris isn’t mistaken, a little sad. She glances over at the still beautiful bouquet of camellia flowers. “So he’s white and nice and he’s apparently buying you flowers too. Tell me more.”

Maybe this is what she needs, some girl-talk. There’s no real reason that she hasn’t told Linda about Barry, other than they haven’t really had real time to talk since their brunch a couple of weeks back. Well, and maybe it’s more than that. Maybe it’s the reality that she doesn’t know what’s happening with her and Barry, not really, and (in her head) there’s a sort of taboo about speaking on it, about making it real when it isn’t.

“He’s…” she starts, and then she pauses. “I need wine for this.”

“Me too!” Wally says as she disappears into the kitchen. She hears Linda tell Wally that he’s still not 21, even though his birthday is only a couple of weeks away, and so he can’t drink, but Iris pours up three glasses of the red wine on her counter anyway. There’s no telling what the conversation will bring.

She carefully takes the glasses back to the living room. The other two have fully abandoned their work and are sitting on the sofa waiting for her. They both make grabby hands for the wine and she passes the glasses over before plopping down in the middle of them.

“Okay, first things first,” Wally starts. “How’d you meet him?”

“I went out dancing,” she answers. “I guess a few weeks ago at this point. And…”

“A few weeks?” Linda interrupts.

Iris sips from her glass to avoid making eye contact after the bit of ire in Linda’s tone.

“Yeah,” she continues after a pause. “I went out and we came back here. He was gone the next morning and I thought that was it. But then he showed up a week later and we hung out again. I saw him at the Fall Fest after our brunch, Linda, and we had dinner. Last Sunday, he took me on a picnic.”

“Okay,” Linda says, “but tell me about him.”

“I don’t know; he’s…” she searches for what to say, to put words to the ways she’s been seeing him in her head, to the way she’s been feeling him in her heart. “Maybe nice is too easy a word because he’s not really nice. He’s polite; like he pays for meals and he walks me to my car and he says please. But he’s also got a little oomph to him, ya know. Like he doesn’t look like it, but he’s a little bit, a little commanding, and…”

“Wait, what do you mean commanding? Like is he trying to tell you what to do? Because…”

“No, Wally. I mean like...”

“In the bedroom?” Linda guesses and Iris nods. “Nice.”

“Good for you,” Wally says.

She waits until they’re done laughing at her irritated expression.

“Sorry,” Linda says. “He’s a freak. What else?”

“I don’t know. He’s kinda funny. Like, he doesn’t tell jokes but he’ll say something to try to push my buttons and it makes me laugh. Or he’ll laugh at himself and that makes me laugh too. And even though you can tell he’s pretty confident in himself, there are still these instances where he’s a little awkward and he blushes and it’s...sweet.” And he makes me feel a little less lonely, she doesn’t add, and like he could be someone that I could come to count on.

Her brother and best friend are both quiet after this and when Iris looks from one to the other, she frowns.

“What?”

“Iris, you like him.” This from Linda.

“It’s only been a couple of dates,” she deflects.

“Yeah,” Wally agrees, “and he’s already calling you baby.”

Linda hums. “That might have a little to do with the pussy whipping.”

“Yes, that makes sense.”

“In any case,” Linda says, before Iris can respond. “If he’s all of this, why are you keeping it a secret?”

“Because I don’t know what we’re doing. I thought it was just sex. I mean he came back over after the first time for sex. But now, it’s, it’s…”

“More?” Linda tries.

“Right.”

“And you’re afraid that it’s gonna end before it even starts.”

Iris doesn’t know how Linda does it. She’s always been able to see right through Iris, in a way that would be scary if she didn’t appreciate it so much. Because that’s the truth, isn’t it? Iris is scared because it’s only been weeks and she likes this guy so much already. Even after their first night, when Iris was sure she’d never see him again, she’d felt a stirring of something in her gut, something strong and big and, and important. And it doesn’t make any sense, because all they’ve really done is have sex, albeit phenomenal sex, and talk about their hobbies a little. But she’s feeling feelings she’s never felt before and it’s all a bit...much. Feelings like this don’t last. They falter or they change, turning into things undefinable, charged, angry.

“It’s too soon, though, right?” She tries. “Like, we still don’t even really know each other and…”

“Don’t do that, Iris,” Wally interrupts, his voice a warning.

“Do what?”

“Think about ending it,” Linda says. “Ride it out. I know you have this need to try to figure out how things will end. And I can understand that. But, Iris, this man likes you. He’s telling you his feelings. And you obviously like him. So let that be okay for now. Trust that.”

Iris is not expecting the cute one-story modern farmhouse she pulls up to. It’s made of gray brick and white shiplap and there’s a flower garden on either side of the walkway that leads to the porch. A swinging chair hangs on one side of the porch and a couple of rocking chairs sit on the other and if Barry wasn’t already walking out of the house when she stopped her car in front, she might think she was at the wrong place.

The weather has gotten cooler in the evenings and so he’s dressed in a pair of dark plaid slacks that fit to the long length of him and a sift black sweater. She stifles a hysterical giggle at how it matches her own white cashmere sweater tucked into a black pleated skirt that hems just under her knees. She watches him stroll to her car and climb in.

“I was gonna come to the door and get you,” Iris says. “Like on a proper date.”

He shoots her a grin, cheeks pink. “I, uh, I was excited to see you.”

She hears Linda in her head saying, ‘you obviously like him; let that be okay for now,’ and so she smiles at Barry.

“You’re so sweet, it’s irritating.”

He gives her a wider dorky grin and she can’t help but smile back, wider than before.

“And this house is really nice.”

His smile turns softer, sadder. “Yeah. It was my parents’. Just want to keep it nice for them.”

“Well I don’t know if you’ve turned the inside into a dungeon, but you’re certainly keeping it nice outside.”

“Thanks, Iris. I’ve learned that I’ve got quite the green thumb trying to keep it up.” He wiggles his hands at her as she’s putting the car into drive and pulling off.

“Wait, so you tend to garden yourself?”

He nods. “Yeah. Both of my parents were into gardening. Well, my mom really liked flowers but she couldn’t really make anything grow. So she got my dad into it and he could, which annoyed her to no end.”

Iris shoots him a soft grin. “Is that what the tattoo is about? I’ve been wondering.”

“Yeah. I get two new flowers every year, one on my mom’s birthday and the other on the anniversary of her death.”

“That’s really sweet, Barry.”

She turns her attention back to the road. A man who, in addition to what she’s seen so far, is committed to keeping his mother’s memory alive? Yeah, she’s fucked.

Greenwood Art Gallery has only been open for a few months. A nod to the name of the neighborhood down in Tulsa that was once the home of a Black cultural and economic mecca, the art gallery features art by Black artists across the diaspora. Tonight is the opening night of a new artist showing, a young woman named Lauryn Morgan who’s a Central City native. Iris and Wally had gone together to their first showing, a curated collection of art focusing on Black American culture through the centuries. The showing tonight is called “The Way,” and is a series of art, canvas paintings and mixed-media prints, that focus on love in all of their forms.

The gallery is in a beautiful space in a reconstructed warehouse. There are a few exposed brick walls, but the place is largely filled with white walls and great lighting, art taking up every corner of the room. There is a large crowd there, when Iris walks through the front door with Barry at her side. Her black pumps have a silver ankle chain and a tall stiletto heel that puts her to his shoulder, and would make it easier to reach out and grab his hand. She doesn’t. Not yet, at least.

They stop first by a bar set up in one corner of the room. It’s a pretty wooden structure manned by two women in black dresses, both of their hair in locs and falling down their backs. The song for which the artist’s collection is named is playing from a speaker, Jill Scott’s sultry, smiling voice making the words jumped out of bed, took a shower, dressed; cleaned up my place; made me some breakfast, toast; two scrambled eggs, grits; grabbed my keys, grabbed my purse; grabbed my jacket, off to work; beaming all the way down third sound like some sort of ode to life and love. Iris insists on paying for their first glass of wine since it is her date, and they bicker good-naturedly about it as they wait for one of the bartenders to pour over full glasses of the chilled white wine.

“I’m paying for the next one,” Barry tells her, and she just shakes her head, mumbling “we’ll see” as she takes the glass from the brown-skinned woman with a smile.

“I’ve been wanting to come here,” Barry says as he presses a hand to her lower back as they move further into the room. It’s packed; the crowd seems like the normal art crowd around Central City, twenty- and thirty-somethings dressed in everything from tulle skirts to ripped jeans and boots to full on suits. The sea of faces run the line in skin color, from darker than chocolate and paler than vanilla and then all of the flavors in between. It’s one of the things she finds fascinating about Central City, an idea that is pushed every time she writes a new story about the power of people coming together, pushing stereotypes, making targeted efforts to understand.

“My brother and I came when it first opened,” she answers. “But I’ve been reading up on this artist and I’m really excited to see her work.”

Barry nods. “Thanks for wanting to share it with me.”

“Art is just another way that people tell stories,” she gives a little shrug. “And Black stories are extremely important to me.”

He gives her that look that he does, that wondering, curious sort of look, as if he’s always trying to understand what lies beyond the surface to what she isn’t actually saying. Maybe that is what he’s doing. Because then he nods again and smiles before pressing a kiss to her temple.

“I hear you,” he says seriously. “And I want to learn about that, to celebrate that.”

And well, okay then.

“What’s the story behind this one, do you think?”

It’s the first time Barry has really engaged with her. He’s been content to follow her from painting to painting, making small comments about how he likes this one or that one, but otherwise just following, watching. They started at one end of the exhibit, where it had been a little crowded and they moved along the lines of the walls, stopping at the ones placed haphazardly in the middle of the room too.

The art has been phenomenal, some platonic or familial, others romantic or erotic. She’s seen some featuring groups of Black women of various shades at a wine night or reading in a library; Black men playing pickup basketball or talking smack at the barbershop. She’s smiled at the ones that remind her of when she and Wally would sit on the couch watching movies or when her dad would try to comb her hair before he decided to just shell out money to get her hair professionally done.

The romantic canvas paintings have been her favorite: the one of a man and a woman dancing, their faces out of the frame, their bodies aligned and in shadows, the viewer understanding that this is not only a dance; another of two women lying in bed, one woman’s dark breasts bared, the other with a sheet covering the curve of her hip, the love evident in their pleased expressions; yet another of two men, standing in an embrace in the light of a window, towels tucked into their waists, the one with waist-length locs tucked into the neck of one with a high fade. It goes like this, with the mixed media prints of individuals celebrating their femininity, their masculinity, their androgyny.

The one Barry asks about is tucked away in the farther end of the exhibit. They’re alone back here for the most part, with people still largely at the front of the gallery, the occasional guest walking through to take a quick look before leaving. The painting is beautiful, another man and woman, in 20s era clothing, a sultry blue dress pushed up high on her thigh and a pair of suspenders falling off of his shoulders. He’s holding a saxophone and a microphone cord is wrapped around her bangled wrist, but there’s no mistaking that they aren’t playing for a crowd at the moment.

“It looks like the 20s era which, outside of the rampant racism, seems like a time I would have actually like to visit as a Black person. The art, the music, the literature. Everything was so, I don’t know, intimate, I think. People weren’t afraid to lay it all out in their art.” She turns to find him watching her, his expression thoughtful and a touch sensuous, like he’s think of laying it out, laying her out right now. She licks her lips, slowly, and continues, “They’re taking a break from making music; or rather, they’re making another kind. It’s why I love music, especially blues and R & B. Music is a story too, heightened senses and heated bodies and it’s feeling.”

On an impulse, she takes his hand and pulls him close, her other hand resting on his shoulders. They’d finished their wine and placed the glasses in one of the discreet bins placed around the gallery a couple of prints ago and they’re empty-handed. He doesn’t fumble the chance to touch her, and so he presses a hand to the small of her back and follows her as she sways, humming the song that’s playing, is it the way you love me, baby? is it the way you love me, baby?, ignoring the obvious implication as they move. She puts her face in to the crook of his neck, inhales the clean scent of him. His sweater is soft and he’s hard against her, humming along too. They shouldn’t be like this, here, but Iris is starting to get caught up in it, their story. It’s hard to hold on to fear, when he’s like this with her. They’re doing nothing but dancing in a crowded art gallery; they’ve done nothing but stare and laugh and fuck. But it’s been more, hasn’t it? A story she’s been writing since the moment he asked her to dance.

“You can feel it, right?” she asks, a little quietly. The sounds around them are stark, the low murmurs of the other guests, the laughs they emit. She can feel his heavy breathing and hers is no lesser, mixing with the tap of her heels on the wood floors, the thick tapping of her heart she wouldn’t be surprised he could actually hear. But they still seem to be in some sort of bubble, one where she can only focus on his humming, a baritone that hints at a nice singing voice, and the feel of him holding her.

“Yes,” he responds, just as quietly, and Iris doesn’t know the question she’s really asking the answer to. Or, maybe she does. Maybe it was written before she understood that it had been for her, and all she’s done ‘til now, and all she’s been ‘til now, has led her here. Maybe all of the stories she has written have prepared her to live in her own, to cling to this feeling, even if society would have her think it’s too soon or too much or far too scary. But she won’t voice it, not for real, not until those vestiges of fear are all gone.

They move, only for moments more, wrapped up in one another, his hand on her waist and hers on his shoulder, until they hear the sound of shoes on the floor and the muffled sound of laughter, pulling them away from each other.

They leave the gallery soon after that, and Iris is starving. She, likely against her better judgment, makes the decision to take Barry to Golden’s. She knows that Linda is tending bar tonight and the food is amazing, and she thinks that maybe it’ll go a little way in mending the bend between her and her friend. She can understand her sentiment; rarely do Iris and Linda keep secrets from each other. Iris knows that it’s been her own shit that’s kept her quiet, the feeling like she’s floating out on a piece of string and it would take only a snap for her to break away. Maybe keeping Barry quiet had been her way of holding on to him for as long as she could before he floated away too.

She parallel parks in an empty spot about a block away from the restaurant. She gives in to the urge to take his hand and they walk up the street. Central City is bustling for a Thursday night, the start of a weekend for many. She hears the music from a band playing from somewhere down the street and sees other couples walking hand in hand, smiling off to their destinations. Golden’s is just as packed when she walks in, but the host notices her immediately.

“Hey Iris,” Kamilla grins, the short perky woman waving as they walk up to the booth. She’s got skin a touch darker than tan and big brown eyes that always seem to be smiling as much as she does.

“Hey Kamilla,” Iris greets. Y’all are packed tonight.”

The other woman nods, her dark hair waving against her shoulders as she looks at the group of people waiting for tables along the side of the wall. “Yeah. I don’t know what’s up but we’ve been slammed since we opened for the dinner hour.”

“How long’s the wait?”

“Well, for you, not long. There are a couple of seats open at the bar or you two can go in the alcove. Xuan and Theo had some friends sitting back there, but they should be finishing up soon. I can put you at the bar until the table’s ready.”

Iris smiles widely. “You’re a saint. Thanks.”

“Anything for you, you know that.”

Kamilla leads them through the throng of people to the bar. Iris’s hand is still clasped in Barry’s and he squeezes once to indicate that he’s following. There are only two seats at the bar available, at the far end, away from where Linda is currently pouring drinks. It’s a long U-shaped bar, about ten seats along the longer side, two of either side of the U. The other bartender is down on their end, a slim woman named Allegra with light-honey colored skin and long dark brown hair. She sees Iris and waves, and then raises an eyebrow at Barry sitting beside her.

“Who’s this?” she asks when she walks over, noticing the way Barry is sitting sideways with his legs open, splayed out so that Iris is surrounded by him.

She and Allegra are not so much friends as they are acquaintances, stopping and chatting whenever Iris comes to hang out.

“This is Barry. Barry, this is Allegra.”

“Oh, so this is Barry.”

The sound of her best friend’s voice in sing-song comes from behind Allegra, thick hair swinging against her neck. She’s got a cryptic expression on her face, as she looks from Barry to Iris back to Barry again, also taking in his posture, their body language explaining what they haven’t said yet.

“He’s cute,” Linda says, winking at Barry, who blushes a little.

“Yes. Barry, this is my best friend Linda; Linda this is Barry.”

Barry gives up an easy smile and puts a hand out for Linda to shake. “It’s good to meet you. Iris has told me a lot.”

“Hmm, I hope more than I’ve heard about you.”

Snickering at her tone, Allegra leaves them to go handle another order.

“Don’t be rude because you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad,” Linda grumbles. She turns back to Barry. “But she’s right. I’m sorry for being rude. I really am glad to meet you.”

“This is your parents’ place, right?” he asks, looking around, obviously impressed. “Iris told me about it. I’m excited that she brought me here.”

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. You came on a good night. We just started our new menu.” She pulls a plastic-covered menu from below the bar for him to look at. “Kamilla told me she’ll get the table in the alcove ready for you. I’ll whip y’all up something to drink while you wait.”

Linda gives her a pointed look and then she’s gone, cute navy blouse billowing behind her. Iris faces Barry, who’s watching her, one hand on the back of her chair, the other sitting on the sliver of skin from where her skirt has ridden up her thigh.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?”

“That seemed like a lot.” He gestures towards Linda.

Iris sighs heavily. “Yeah. I’m sort of in my head about some stuff and Linda is taking it a little personally that I haven’t told her about it.”

“You mean me?”

“Partly,” she answers truthfully. “I, I didn’t always know how to talk about you. But it’s not just that; I’ve been dealing with some feelings of…listlessness. And I’m just trying to figure it out.”

“Iris, I…” He licks his lips, slowly, and leans in, close enough that she can smell the mint and wine on his breath. “If I’m moving too fast, I get that and I can pull back if you want. But I’m in this, to see where we can go.” His stare is insistent. “And you can tell me, if you want, about whatever else is bothering you. I’m always willing to listen.”

Before she can respond, Linda walks back over with two long-stemmed martini glasses, pale orange liquor filled to the brim.

“Ginger martinis,” Linda announces. “Something I just put on the menu.”

“In addition to being a badass writer, Linda’s a bomb bartender too.”

“Oh, you’re a writer too?” Barry wonders.

Linda smiles at Barry. “Yeah. Mostly fiction, though I dabble in personal essays. Nothing like our girl over here who can take someone else’s thoughts and make them come to life.”

“She is good, isn’t she?” Barry punctuates the question with a hand rub up her thigh. That makes Iris look up, startled, because they’ve never talked about her work before.

“You’ve read my work?”

“Of course,” he says, as if it should be obvious. “I’m working my way through your blog. I have been since you told me about it at the Fall Fest.”

Iris exchanges glances with a satisfied Linda.

“You hear that, Iris? Barry has been reading your blog since you mentioned it weeks ago. It’s almost as if…”

“Alright!” Iris interrupts. “Thanks, Linda. Goodbye.”

Linda laughs, throwing another wink at Barry before she blows a kiss at Iris. “I love you and have fun. Call me later.”

She’s done eating when he throws his napkin on top and slides over to her side of the booth. She blinks at him in confusion, but he just shrugs and says, “I wanted to be next to you.”

She scoots over to let him in, though it’s a tight fit, as she takes a sip from her water glass. They’re waiting on dessert, a decadent ginger créeme brûlée that Xuan created. It’s her favorite thing on the menu.

Iris thinks back on the course of their dinner. It’d been about as perfect as their picnic date, how conversation just seemed to flow. He tells her a bit about working as a forensic scientist and how he likes to use his love of science and problem-solving to help catch the bad guys. That leads into a conversation about her dad, a police captain for CCPD, and Barry is delighted to find out that he actually knows her father, a man he says he can tell wants nothing more than to do the right thing.

Iris talks a little about What a Life You’ve Lived , still a bit surprised that he’s reading through it. He asks deeper questions about a couple of the stories that really caught his attention. He likes that they read like short stories instead of interviews because they make the stories more fascinating. He wants to know how she chooses stories, what’s her writing process, if she does interviews or if they just send in and she cleans it up.

“A little of both,” she answers. “They send the story and then we set up an interview and we go from there. Sometimes they’re in person or on a video call. Some people prefer just emailed conversations because it keeps some of their anonymity.”

They laugh while they eat as they talk more about some of his more interesting cases, her funnier stories. Iris never really orders any food; Linda or her parents usually just tell the chef she’s there and the cooks do their thing, bringing out courses as they see fit. So they up her portions and Barry and Iris eat from the same plates, fighting over some of the items, like the garlic bok choy Iris always falls all over herself for and the shrimp and pork shumai that Barry attempts to eat more of.

Linda brings them another martini and on top of the glass of wine, she’s in a hazy sort of place. She isn’t drunk, but she does feel a little lighter, enchanted by the food and the drink and the company. Golden’s becomes a little more seductive at night, with lowered lighting and soft music, and the smiling, muted conversations that come with a date night. And so even though they eat and they laugh and they play, they do more. They make eyes at each other over the time of their glasses, watch a little too long as the other runs the teeth of a fork across the tongue. They caress one another’s hand when one goes for a bite of food. They tangle their legs, the feel of Barry’s hard, fabric-covered calves on her softer, bare legs far too arousing for how innocuous the movement. It’s teasing and it’s provoking and Iris feels it all down to the core of her.

So when he slides into the seat beside her, she brazenly throws her legs over his thighs under the guise of giving him more room. She’s thankful it’s darker where they are, that’s it’s more hidden where they are. Barry doesn’t miss a beat, placing a hand on her thighs and rubbing lightly. Their dessert arrives shortly thereafter and the waiter takes note of their changed positions with a smirk.

“You’ve got to try this,” Iris says, picking up one of the small spoons to scoop up a bit. “It’ll literally be the best thing you’ve ever put in your mouth.”

“I don’t know,” Barry hums, sliding his hand higher up her thigh under her skirt. His palm is warm and a bit soft, an interesting contrast to the slightly calloused tips of his fingers. “I’ve had you in my mouth.”

He takes a bite like he hadn’t just said that, tongue licking around the spoon. “But it’s a nice second.”

“You’ve gotta stop,” Iris says, staring down at the spoon, momentarily wishing it was her. “You really just gotta stop.”

His answering grin is lopsided. “I don’t really think you want me to. Why else would you put your legs up on me like this?”

She gasps in mock shock. “What are you trying to say, Bear?”

His grin turns dirty. “I want you to say that name a little differently in a minute.”

He moves his hand up, taking the fabric of her skirt with him, tapping at her thighs to part them. She does it easily, dropping one of her feet back to the floor so that she’s spread for him. The skirt is pliant enough that she can spread as wide as she wants and it still covers her.

“Eat the brûlée,” he suggests. “Give your mouth something to do.”

He tips those long fingers up the middle of her thighs, up one side and down the other, up one side and down the other. It’s slow, like he always is, and for someone who’s claimed to enjoy running, he’s always taking his time.

And every time he goes up one side and down the other, he makes his way higher and higher, higher and higher, until his fingers are skimming her panties, lightly tracing the edges of the silk material. She jumps, a little gasp escaping her parted lips.

“Eat,” he orders. It’s crazy, how turned on how she gets because of him. Every time he murmurs some increasingly dirty thing, every time he uses those far too skillful fingers to touch her, she feels herself soaking her panties with no shame. She’s been just on the verge of wet since she picked him up and saw him standing there in all that all black that had made his pale skin and pretty eyes stand out in stark contrast. Now, though, she knows that were she to look, she’d see a darker green right in the middle of the crotch of her panties. It shouldn’t be so easy, not the way they are together, not the way they’ve always been together. It should sometimes be awkward and fumbling and…and...

“Fuck,” the curse startles her out of her own musings when slides his finger under the fabric of her panties.

“I told you to eat, Iris,” Barry reminds her, and she picks up the spoon with no further delay, scooping up a portion of the dessert and putting it in her mouth. At the same time, he slides a gentle finger along her slit. She’s imbued with, with awareness: the sweet taste of sugar on her tongue, the sweet feel of his digit sliding into her; the shock of the lemon-ginger filling her mouth, the shock of him pushing another finger in and to the knuckle. She lets out a silent moan against the spoon, taking his advice and eating so that she doesn’t fall back on the chair with her mouth wide open in ecstasy.

It’s a lesson in restraint, the next several minutes. He massages her as she eats, his fingers sliding in and out of her, in and out her, scissoring, and sliding, and rubbing, and then repeating the process. Her hips start to rock against his hand, undulating as she tries to get closer, as she takes his fingers and clenches around them. Her hand tightens on the spoon she’s using, and it’s a struggle to keep her eyes facing forward and not rolled in the back of her head. Because still with the two fingers fucking into her, he thumbs at her clit, rubbing in slow circles. She wishes that she could look down at them, to see what those long, pale fingers look like disappearing inside of her wet, pink flesh; but she can’t and even still, she can recall the look of it from their time on the couch. It feels like that did, when he was playing in her, but different and maybe better.

Because now he knows a little bit about what gets her off quicker, about the fact that although it’s torture when he’s fucking her at a snail’s pace, she likes the be fingered like that. She likes when he crooks his fingers, just a little, and when it feels like a gentle stroking instead of an all-out assault. She likes when he waits ‘til her clit is hard and peeking from its hood before he touches it, and then keeps at it, rubbing in small, slow circles. And “god, Bear,” does the creme brulee make this something else, make it more rousing, make it sexier, make it sound like go 'head, really get your groove on; cause tonight my man's coming through...i got another, nasty, freaky, just right way in mind; tonight, I'm gonna beat the high score. He slides in and out, he rubs slow circles, she rocks her hips like she would if she could be impaled on him right now.

And he leans closer to her, watching her face as he fingers her, mumbling as he does, “yes, baby, ride my hand, soak my hand, baby,” his voice barely above a whisper. It makes Iris jerk hard against the table. Barry attempts to slow down, but Iris all but gives up the idea of eating and grabs at his wrist. “No, don’t stop, Bear.”

He lets out an easy chuckle, twisting his wrist so that he can push deeper, his palm now rubbing against her clit, his fingers curved in her pussy.

“You’re gonna get us caught,” he whispers into her ear, and Iris whimpers at the dark timbre of his voice washing over her. “Hmm, you seem like you’d like that. Huh, Iris? Does the thought of all these people seeing you bite those sexy lips as you try not to scream get you off? Do you want them to hear how you sound right now? How you’re so wet I can almost hear you over them talking right now?”

“Bear,” she moans and it’s louder than she intends and Barry reaches out to tuck her into his neck. And she can’t answer, doesn’t know if she is getting off on them like this, but she feels her orgasm coming, hard and fast but smooth, gliding through her like it’s the easiest thing her body has ever done.

When she comes around his hand, clamping her thighs around his wrist, she stays tucked in Barry’s neck and bites down, because the creme brulee is all gone, and fuck if this doesn’t feel good. She makes a strangled sound in her throat and hopes that she bites down hard enough to muffle it, even if it marks him. She hears his own low groan, rumbling near silently in his chest, and Iris thinks that makes her come even harder, eyes shut tight as she savors it. She rides it out, clenching and unclenching like a vise over his fingers, and tasting the sweetness of his skin, feeling his hardness under her thigh.

“They’re never gonna let me back in here, Barry,” Iris whispers in a labored breath, after.

“It’s fine,” he says as he pulls his hand out of her. He looks at it for a moment, at her slick glistening on his skin, and then he puts the two middle fingers in his mouth, groaning at the taste of her. Iris thinks she almost comes again.

“They don’t even know what’s going on,” he continues, oblivious to Iris who’s watching him with blown eyes. At least she thinks he’s oblivious until he wipes the rest of her off on a cloth napkin and then shoots her a salacious wink.

She shakes her head, partly in amusement, and she smoothes her hands down her thighs above her skirt. Her one leg is still thrown across him. “How do you even get me to do shit like this? I’m so embarrassed. I was such a good girl before I met you.”

His chuckle is a rumble against her. “You are good, baby. So fucking good.”

She lifts her head, because something about that last part seems like more than just teasing. He curls a hand around the back of her neck, making her hold his gaze.

“You smell good,” he says. “You taste good. But more than that,” he pauses as places a hand on her chest, just above her heart. “You are good.”

“You don’t even…”

“Don’t,” he stops her. “Don’t say I don’t know you. I mean sure, I still haven’t figured out all the things that anger you or what you’re like when you’re stressed. But I’ve watched you talk about your family and I’ve seen the compassion you have for the people you write about and… and when I tell you you’re good, I mean that.”

She tucks herself back into his neck after that, wrapping her arms around him to acknowledge his comment, to try to tell him what she doesn’t know how to say yet. It would make sense that she move away from him, that she set herself back to rights. It would make sense that she step back, to clear the haze he’s got her in, to make sure she’s reading this story correctly. But something else tells her that she might be, that she might even be reading it a tad too slowly, so she stays right where she is, his hand rubbing up and down her back. And she closes her eyes, hoping that the story doesn’t end too soon.

Is it the way you love me, baby?

#westallen fanfiction #iris west #barry x iris #barry allen #strangers to lovers

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dathen · 4 years

Text

I’m so angry that tumblr put my read more WITHIN THE ASK ITSELF so I’m copying the whole post since I worked hard on it:

Ask from @ blue-electric-angel

Hi Dath! Would you feel up to rant about the trolley problem? I've never liked it but I don't know WHY or at least can't articulate it, so I would be interested in hearing another person's thoughts 🤔 But it's okay if you don't want to!!

OKAY TWO DISCLAIMERS

a) I was reminded that I should clarify my dislike of the trolley problem bc of @callmearcturus talking about its issues, so can’t take full credit here!

b) I am not a philosophy expert and find ethical thought games only useful in how they apply to the real world, and find worth in ethical discussions in how they’re applied/affect how people think more than how complex/challenging they are.

THIRD DISCLAIMER I’m very sleepy and pretty sure I have surpassed my words quota of the week so this may be a bit disjointed!!

Some background on my ire: I’m a CPA. Which means majoring in business. Which means being around business majors. Which means BUSINESS ETHICS CLASSES. My eyes start to water every time I think about how many American Dream dudebros tried to apply the trolley problem as a flimsy excuse to devalue those they thought were reasonable sacrifices for their own greater good. Is it worth testing weapons on your own population, if you can then use those weapons to end a war faster? Should we get rid of regulations about medical tests on people, if it would result in life-saving medicine being produced faster? And so on. Rules, protections, and just anything that would require giving another human being agency are treated like nuisances in the way of Great Minds moving and shaping the world as they see fit.

I went and did a search to see if anyone already put my thoughts about the trolley problem into words, and the article The Trolley Problem Will Tell you Nothing Useful About Morality sums it up right from the get-go:

It discourages us from examining the structural factors that determine our choices.

[cut for length]

One thing that drove me BATSHIT about philosophy classes is I was never allowed to bring historical or social context into any of the discussions. I couldn’t challenge Aristotle’s view of women as ranking somewhere near livestock, because if I couldn’t word puzzle my way into a truth, nonsense like “disenfranchisement of women in Ancient Greece” and “self-perpetuating social structures enforcing class and gender divides” didn’t belong in my discussions, apparently!

Which, needless to say, is a huge issue when you start getting into topics of “who should we sacrifice for the greater good” as applied to political policy. I don’t even need to elaborate on this one. It’s always those whose lives are valued less and who have less power in that society. The “greater good” is intensely subjective, and will always include the well-being of the person making the choice.

The trolley problem works from a long list of assumptions that will rarely reflect reality, and shortcut past the most important discussions to be had:

- The person behind the switch has the sole power or responsibility for making the choice. They don’t have the chance to communicate, they don’t have the chance to get input from the people in danger.

- The person behind the switch is the only one with agency, and the only one who CAN have agency.

- The safety of the person behind the switch is assumed. No possible choice could involve them being in danger.

- There’s a time limit that allows nothing more than an impulse decision.

- There’s no examination of why there is only one person with power over the situation, or why those at risk are 100% powerless to leave their situation

- There’s no chance of examining why the trolley is rolling down the tracks in the first place

That last one is where my rage comes from about the misapplication of this thought game re: insisting philosophy must be ahistorical. But the thing that especially gets under my skin is how the agency of other human beings is just completely taken off the table. A non-issue. Something we have to assume wouldn’t make a difference, something we should assume isn’t possible to begin with.

[Stop reading here if you’re avoiding The Magnus Archives spoilers to episode 101]

Since this came up in a TMA context, I’ll veer it over to TMA: I see it get brought up in the context of Gertrude sacrificing Michael to save the world. But this dehumanizes Michael as a person who could have been given agency and information, when in fact we know he was kept ignorant so that he could be more easily manipulated. It places Gertrude behind the switch with no other options other than to pull a lever one way or another. But therein lies the issue with the application of this experiment to “real life” scenarios. Where is talking to Michael instead of betraying him? Where is letting him make a choice of his own? We learn later that his sacrifice wasn’t even necessary, but with the limited information Gertrude had at the time, how much were other options (LIKE GOOD OL C4) explored before she decided to ruin the life of someone who trusted her? Why does she get to ensure her own safety behind the switch, rather than considering herself in the trade of “one life to save the world”?

TMA 155 - Cost of Living is a fantastic deconstruction of how rich and privileged people try to apply the trolley problem to excuse their choices and their abuse of others. The statement giver rationalizes murdering dozens of people to fuel her own life, excusing it with “but I can do so much good if I’m alive!” Meanwhile we’re left horrified that she clearly finds those she postures as being so helpful towards as expendable and “less valuable to society,” such as homeless people and the elderly. We’re left side-eying the idea that a rich person giving to charity while living comfortably as being an indisputable “greater good” when all that’s really happening is one person valuing her own life over the lives of so many others. The statement giver insists the net gain of the world excuses her actions, and tries to narrow the choice down to those two tracks: Don’t pull the switch and lose “all the good she could do,” pull the switch and lose just a handful of people. Listening, we know that the only person on the other track is her, and that her rationalization only enables her to kill again and again.

And that is why I hate the trolley problem.

#there are spoilers for TMA 100 in here but I mark where they start #so if you're not interested in TMA or catching up you can read the rest of me hating on the trolley problem

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fly-pow-bye · 3 years

Text

DuckTales 2017 - “How Santa Stole Christmas!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Colleen Evanson

Storyboard by: Sam King, Kathryn Marusik, Stephan Park

Directed by: Jason Zurek

The Last Christmas...episode of DuckTales 2017.

Twas the night before Christmas, and all throughout the night, The kids are reminded of Scrooge and Santa's fight. Previous episodes have brought up Scrooge's Santa furore And this is the episode where we get the whole story.

The episode starts with Della, tucking her children into bed, Feeding them stories to put in their head. It's not the usual story, as her children moan, but reasons for that old elf to not be allowed in their home.

But outside of Webby, the kids aren't Santa-haters Even if he's known by the McDucks for being among traitors They hear thumps on the roof, and the kids will go to the Manor's ceiling, where they see a shadow

As the figure shows himself, their childlike wonder was not blessed...

...as it was someone else whose name starts with S.

Scrooge was preparing his defenses against any reindeer, and ensuring on Christmas, no Claus will be near. He ensures the kids they don't need him, as he is rich. See, he's able to give them all hats that itch.

It's practical, he says, though the kids think it's lame As they wanted a trampoline, a cell phone, and a video game. Before Scrooge can explain, he hears the doorbell. Carolers, Scrooge assumes, and the lies that they tell.

He opens the door, Webby readying weapons she possessed and it turned out to be our jolly old guest. Scrooge grits his teeth, and the children shout with glee...

...and then Santa falls down, nearly crushing Dewey.

It's here that I realize this rhyming is annoying you, and that's okay, because I'm getting tired of it, too. I can really only do this for a short review-ey, So the rest of this are normal paragraphs, ah phooey.

So Santa falls down and breaks his leg, and even Scrooge, with his pretty low opinion on Santa Claus, is concerned for his well being. He even has to motion to Webby to put down her grappling hook that she was apparently was preparing to put into Santa's chest. She then slowly brings out a sword. It's a joke on the same level as that spork one from a previous episode; it's a classic Webby moment.

After hearing that Frank Sinatra-esque Christmas-themed opening from the last Christmas episode, now with 100% more Della, Santa wakes up near the chimney fire. I like the detail that it's barred up to prevent Santa's usual Christmas travel, though as I was told as a kid who lived in a house that didn't have a chimney and this episode proves, he can use a door just fine. In this universe, he's real, and he proves this by giving Huey, Dewey, and Louie their video game, trampoline, and cell phone, respectively. He tries to do the same with Webby, but she pretends to like her hat better. Got to look good for the man she idolizes, after all.

That man, Scrooge, decides to reveal exactly what Santa did to get his ire: he stole something from him. All but one of the kids can't believe it, and the one exception couldn't figure out exactly what that something could be. Don't worry, this is not going to become one of those Christmas Carol pastiches, as DuckTales 2017 is a lot more clever than that and didn't feel like competing with that rat that must not be named. Instead, it's more like Santa Claus is Coming To Town, where we get to hear the origin of the holiday that Scrooge says was stolen from him. The title isn't wrong, it really is actually Santa that stole Christmas this time!

Santa doesn't have time for this, as he needs to get Christmas finished before sunrise. It is still Christmas Eve, after all. He asks Scrooge, with his belt so tight, to drive his sleigh tonight, and it takes some begging from Huey, Dewey, and Louie for him to oblige. Well, that, and Santa offers him to never come to the McDuck Manor if he does the deed. That's not the only offer, as Santa decides to tell the kids a story I thought would be the noodle incident of the cartoon.

The story begins with Scrooge during one of his business stints, selling heat-giving coal to the populace of a snow-filled village, with no buyers in one particular cottage. He finds a polar bear with a sleigh singing about bells that jingle, and Scrooge comes over to help him out. Introducing himself as Santa Claus, Scrooge finds out that he does have similar goals, though Santa prefers to warm people's hearts with toys rather than coal. Santa tries that same cottage, offering a gift for free, and they happily let him in, and he was so kind that they even allow him to bring that guest that was yelling at them to buy his coal.

The big guy ends up being the life of the party at the cottage with his new hit song, filled with people of short stature with colorful costumes, until the fire burns out. Scrooge's coal ends up saving the party, though Santa had to use his own way of selling it by just grabbing it right out of his bag and throwing it in the fireplace. This warms the hearts and the house of the cottage dwellers, though Scrooge could tell it's more because he's a friend of that jolly guy than anything else. It's quite clear Scrooge has more reason to start his hatred of that red guy beyond being named after that classic Christmas-time villain.

The hatred doesn't start just yet, though, but he is a little bewildered by an idea that Santa Claus has: not only does he want to bring this heat source to this cottage and the people who were just visiting it, but to everyone in the world in one night! Scrooge knows this is impossible, but Santa feels he knows some way he can do this. This begins a brand new friendship, and this is where Webby is confused.

Webby: Wait, Scrooge doesn't have any friends!

Understandably, Goldie is more of a frenemy, being friends with Launchpad is far too easy to count, and it's debatable if anyone is Gyro's friend, either.

We cut to what's happening in the present, where Scrooge gets on the sleigh with all of the reindeer kids would know. All the kids know Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. If they think of any other reindeer's name, well, let's let another Christmas special sort that one out:

Olive, the other reindeer: By the way, where's Rudolph?

Comet: There's no Rudolph. It's just one of those urban legends.

Along with Santa and himself, Scrooge decides to only let the one kid who knows Santa is a fraud, Webby, on the sleigh. The kids protest, and Santa implies to them that if they go to bed, they would be on the nice list. They already got their gifts, and if Santa ends up doing his end of the bargain, it wouldn't even matter, but the nephews decide to go back to bed. One could argue that Santa could boop his nose and instantly turn the video game, cell phone, and trampoline into coal, and that one is confusing this episode with another special with siblings that wear the primary colors.

As the reindeer fly into the sky, Webby continues her anti-Santa creed, saying that she wouldn't be wooed by dolls, candles, or crossbows. That last one does end up piquing Webby's interest enough, and Santa does reveal that, yup, that's what she was getting. Scrooge tells Santa it's going to take more than that, and Webby isn't trying too hard to prove that's true. In fact, she actually blurts that she's worried that Santa wouldn't be able to finish Christmas in time, and Santa tells her, and it's all because of another artifact from that legendary Finch journal. No, I'm just kidding, there's no journal in this episode; along with the Halloween episode that also doesn't feature it, this episode was written before anything else in this season.

That artifact is the Feliz Navidiamond, a diamond that can slow down time to the point where the mission to give coal to everyone on Earth is a possibility rather than pure fantasy, and Scrooge happens to have a map that leads right to it. Said map leads to Cascabel Cavern, a cavern known for having creatures of legend defend it, including the Los Renos Voladores. Those who know their Spanish, as Scrooge does, may see where this is going. Santa didn't just have the flying reindeer show up at his doorstop one day, he had to encounter them at the cavern along with his new friend. While Scrooge attempts to use his cane to fend one of them off, he notices that Santa appears to be taming the flying beasts with his jingle bells. Again, the contrast between the charitable and caring Santa and the practical yet uncaring Scrooge shows itself here, along with the contrast between how much they're enjoying this partnership.

Webby says she can figure out why Santa decided to keep them, as reindeer are known for their long horns and good efficiency. Scrooge asks her why she even cares about this, and Webby, once again, tries to say that his fantastic flying reindeer aren't really her thing. For a super-spy in training, she is surprisingly bad at this. Her Santa hatred breaks throughout the episode as she slowly develops from someone who blindly goes with what Scrooge says to realizing that this elf may be a little more than what her idol says he is. I could see parallels with this character arc in this one episode and her development from the sheltered Scrooge fangirl who can't figure out how the real world works of Season 1 to the caring girl with some Scrooge fangirl tendencies she is in Season 3, and that's neat to see. I do think her just blindly believing in Scrooge’s stories in the beginning is a little bit of a negative, though.

While the story is happening, the episode decides it's montage time. To the tune of Scrooge's least favorite song, guess which one, we see Webby and Scrooge give gifts to various people, including Webby taking her time to give both Violet and the still-looking-like-she-did-before-that-one-episode Lena a kiss, though the latter is understandable because, as mentioned before, they wrote these holiday specials first. We also get an extended scene where Scrooge has to wade through all the Beagle Boys in the naughty list to give a gift to Bouncer Beagle, who somehow managed to get on the nice list. I did question at first how time appears to be flowing quite well in these scenes judging by the giftee's reactions, but I could understand that the Feliz Navidiamond only works when they're on the sleigh. After Santa saves Scrooge from the Beagle Boys, he says they're even, referring to something that happened after the taming of the not-Rudolphs.

In the Cascabel Cavern, we get to see the rise of a guardian, who some people might call Jack Frost though they don't call it that. No, not the Jack Frost from those guardians, I say to the people who still remember that movie exists.

No, it's a Jack Frost like the movie with the snowman. I'm sure Santa could sense that Michael Keaton film from nearly a century later, as he tries to calm the roaring snowman with a delightful gift. Hopefully it's Campbell's Soup, and then we'll find out inside that guardian was just a really, really cold little boy that's mother decided to leave out in the cold for way too long. Unfortunately, that too was the wrong Jack Frost, as this one's more like the 1997 one that had 100% less Michael Keaton and 100% more killer snowmen.

We get our big fight scene of the week, as Scrooge rescues Santa by pelting the snowman with his flaming coal, riding a flying reindeer. Which reindeer is it? It's so awesome, nobody really needs to care. With this help, Santa grabs onto the Feliz Navidiamond, slowing down time to the point where it almost seems like time has stopped, and they can just waltz out of the cave with it. In their words, they're running on Christmas time. I should point out that they don't create Christmas, as they refer to it all throughout this flashback, they just create the tradition that happens on Christmas. They don't go further than that, and that's all I will say on that subject. Rule of three dictates that there should be some other monster after this, and...well, let's just say the next enemy Christmas has to face may not be a monster or some animals with abilities beyond regular animals.

As Scrooge leaves to deliver one final Christmas present, telling Webby to keep a present as he's got it, Webby decides to ask one question that's been on her mind: why would Santa do all of this without getting paid? Santa replies that he gets the greatest gift of all, and I jokingly thought this was going to lead to him talking about the Santa Bills that he sends to the children's parents. Of course, that would deter kids from asking for those Disney playsets, so we get a heartwarming speech from Santa about Christmas being about the warmth of the heart one gets from giving gifts. A much better alternative, I'd say, it's a good speech and one fitting for a Christmas special.

There is one major thing in this Christmas origin story that hasn't been brought up yet: how did Santa giving coal to everyone to warm up their homes become only giving coal to the bad children and giving toys to the good children? They really only show the idea of the latter once, with Doofus getting a nasty looking box in his stocking, and even then, it doesn't look like coal.

The next Christmas, Scrooge barges in the door, singing his own version of Jingle Bells involving his favorite practical black rocks, and Santa has a small suggestion to make about Christmas. Instead of just giving out coal, why not bring them a special surprise on Christmas morning: a special gift for free as a promotion for their coal distribution business! Scrooge immediately balks at the idea of giving out handouts. Oh, rich people. This eventually leads to Scrooge getting into a big fight with Santa, and they break up.

This isn't the monster part, as that happens much later in the history of Christmas. In fact, they're remembering it right now, as they find that Santa's sack appears to be still filled with Christmas presents. If those are the presents with all the toys, what did they gave the children? No, not just a practical gift meant to warm people's homes rather than their hearts...

...but a practical gift meant to warm people's homes rather than their hearts and an invoice for it, too! We even fade to Scrooge, making a rather evil grin that feels like it came from another famous Christmas special. He really is a mean one, Mr. Scrooge. Now, being an outright villain may seem a bit out of character for him; he's usually only a villain when he has to play one in a wrestling ring. But, come on, do you expect a guy named Scrooge to be the good guy in a Christmas story, never mind give out handouts? I will say that his evil grin does go against any interpretation that he's doing this for good, as he implies. I mean, he's so much of a Grinch...

...he even has his own Cindy Lou Who named Jennifer, a poor girl in desperate need for anything, including warmth. She even takes this lump of coal he gives her and turns it into a toy. She's that desperate for some warmth in her heart, and no speech from Scrooge about how practical that coal could be to warm her home could change that. It doesn't take a genius to find out if this causes Scrooge's heart to grow three sizes.

To make a long story short, we get another speech from Santa about why he even bothered to have Scrooge help him, and there's even another twist about Santa here that makes this trip just that much more special. The ending is quite clever, too, and it does fit into the family side of the Christmas tradition. Since this is most likely the last DuckTales 2017 Christmas episode, it's a great ending in many ways.

How does it stack up?

I was greatly entertained as this episode arrived, As I humbly give this episode a Scrooge number of five. Now I'll say, to everyone reading this site, Happy holidays to all, and to all a good night.

Well, that's it for now, as DuckTales enters yet another hiatus. In fact, this is the last big review I'll make this year. Have a Slightly Better New Year, because it sure couldn't be worse than this one.

← The Fight For Castle McDuck! 🦆 Beaks in the Shell! →

#ducktales 2017 #ducktales #fpb dt 2017 #fpb reviews #disney #christmas

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anon-ohmus · 3 years

Text

Salutations,

And a happy fine helllo

My Name is Anon from the land of Ohm,

Welcome to my home away from home

Before someone tells you i stole it, it’s honestly just a loan.

And the place I serve my sentence for casting the wrong stones

in a land far away and a time so long ago

Anywho, I offer a service From the depths of my mind

It’s Fundamentally simple, yet beautifully sublime.

I need nothing to produce this timeless art.

I Make it with nothing from the end to the start.

Where it comes from who really knows?

I’ve pondered that for years and know that I don’t.

if you want to explain it, I hope that you won’t

Just enjoy the river no matter the flow

It’s a fun ride regardless of where it goes

📖Yes, the schemes of my rhymes are wild and chaotic.

Some call me an amateur, I’m not, I’m just neurotic.

The truth is I’m an alien, and it’s actually quite exotic.

But please Bear with me if this starts to get robotic.

I really hoped to trim and skim the topics

,Not convey myself as a nerdy alcoholic,

And stick to things that folks might find anecdotic

But now I feel it’s turning quite psychotic

At least it hasn’t taken a turn for the erotic

Or something grim like outbreaks of bubonic

Or anything racist or naively Patriotic

Thankfully I’m out of rhymes that I find melodic

Hopefully that might be just enough to stop it

But, it seems this poem is quite kaleidoscopic

And will recite a near rhyme to not seem idiotic.

Everyone just remain calm, or it might become despotic

I’ll use my gift of.linguistics to do my best to try calm it

I’ll craft a call for it to give response, follow, and frolic

perhaps to a series a sixty six of episodic biopics

Written by acne riddled junkies still hooked on phonics?

What a terrible annoying idea, I’m sure it will work!

Now, have at thee, you vile Flibbertigibbet jerk!

Now to tie of this stanza with some pointless fancy jargon

And A secret technique I learned from Marvin the Martian

At least I think it was him, but I suppose I could be wrong

That Martian moonshine they brew is actually quite strong

It must have been spiked with Plutonian cocaine

Or even Jupiter Juice because I went a tad insane.

I ejected my uncle from the airlock and didn’t sleep for a week

But I distinctly remember meeting that croaky, centurion freak

Because he’s the one that pointed out that Uncle Sam could still breathe.

Wait, was that the day we met or was that a Martian weed dream?

Come to think of it , it wasn’t my Uncle Sam, it was my Aunt Billy.

dreams are really are strange when IRL is just as weird and silly.

is it racist to suspect that Martians are a sect of black-faced Ku klux gladiators?

No matter , it’s time for the leafy super dank 420 psyche Modulator.

Perhaps enough of this chronic smoke

will be enough to make me wheeze and choke

And guffaw, and chuckle to disjoint my body and free my mind

To Temporarily pass right the hell out of space and fall out of time

To finally sober up and end this silly, flamboyant display of mine

I’ll huff and I’ll puff like a classic fairy tale canine

And if we can call this a poem it will conclude just fine.📖

Eureka! It worked! Suck my ink you linguistic Jerk!

Go find some other mediocre poet’s verse in which to lurk!....in.

*ahem*

As I was saying,

Perhaps it’s a talent I’ve honed over time.

I’m just thankful my talent was this and not mime.

No offense to my duochrome homies, I respect the anti-arts just fine.

But for me some things are just too much set up with no real punchline.

bravo if you’ve made it this far.

still entertained? Then, you’re an absolute star! 🤩

With me you’ll find no dark agendas or endeavors.

Just a mysterious bird that might be of your feathers

But also just a sad and lonely, alien Nerd

Whose only friend in this prison is the written word.

prison? Why, How utterly absurd!

Why would i label my home with such a word??

Never would I dare utter such terminology!

Such cockamamie slander warrants me an apology!

Among the word crafting nobles of highest celestial regard

I am a heralded saint and you a mere crusty begging bard!

My tounge might be forked and silver and my nose- long and brown.

But I will always be an honest lying minstrel and not a sad heartbroken clown.

Hm? What was that my dear? I’m sorry for that outburst you had to overhear

It’s just that The neighbors I have locked in my head

They bully my speech and critique every syllable said.

But now I suspect they’ll go away and finally drop dead

or maybe they’ll at least just make fun of you instead.

So just Relax and trade me your wonderful stories.

Go on, i won’t even find the mundane one’s boring .

Stick around, in my home you’re always most welcome.

Visitors are rare; smiling ones even more seldom.

But I think this poem can mutate one more time while i fetch

Ir seems to fancy the rhyme scheme flip from a-a to a-b

Before you say it please don’t get me wrong, comrade.

I am happy, just lonely, lost, and misunderstood...

Whether l seem overjoyed, miserable , hurt, or mad.

I feel how I feel not how i want or am taught I should....I

Most days I am thankful for whatever realm of whimsy births my art

But often These beautiful words can make things so much worse

Breaking Hearts made of glass, when mine won’t even start

I think my gift of petty prose may be just a vile Trojan horse.

If the pen I wield is mightier than their sharpest swords

And My weapons are not just verse and sloppy rhyme

Why do those I adore seem, at times, annoyed or bored

With these fleeting , flighty, flowing thoughts of mine?

So let us relax and trade our dreams and stories

Even those the other might find dreadful or boring

Anon is my name. I’m of the Land of Ohm

Giving lonely strings of words a place to call home

I have nothing to sell , I preach no religion or Champion a philosophy

All i have to offer are unsent love notes And a few cathartic apologies.

- Anon Ohmus

Mar 10, 2021

8:46 PM

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joeyarnoldvn · 3 years

Text

2021, February

Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Monday the first day of February of 2021. Canada Kidnapping Themselves Tuesday. All About Hive Blog Wednesday. Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK Thursday. Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction Friday. Amazon Spies Saturday.

Instagram Rising

I was banned on Bittrex Sunday the 8th. My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn Monday. Cronyism Sucks Tuesday. Gold-Backed Crypto Wednesday. Protonmail problem on my 36th birthday Thursday. Just kidding. Brother Joined Hive Friday. Shoveling Snow Saturday.

Ice Killed Texans

Happy Valentines Day Sunday the 14th. President's Day. Party at Five Monday. Texas Freezing Tuesday. Vietnamese pho dinner was yummy. Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post Wednesday. Photoshop Funny Thursday. We Need County Coin Friday. Why is Sweden banning masks Saturday.

Can't Disrupt Commerce lol

Strung up pea strings. The Healthy American Sunday the 21st. Pho dinner. Musical chairs. Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001 Monday. Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro Tuesday. Digging up potatoes. Bible study revived. Being Dead Due To Birth Wednesday. Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids Thursday. My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign Friday. Cleaned Out a Chicken House Saturday. DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY Sunday.

February of 2021

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February of 2021

Oatmeal Monthly - 2021-02 - February of 2021 Published in February of 2021

I enjoyed watching season 1 of Tell Me Your Secrets

By Oatmeal Joey Arnold

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Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Plan

2021-02-01 - Monday

Hello Pocahontas

Americans to be placed under Extreme Lockdown House-Arrest for at least 12 months, that is the plan. You will be stuck in your house like they did in China. You will starve to death and die. The plan is to begin this before 2022, as in as soon as possible. Your loved ones will die from Covid Vaccines which is already murdering hundreds to thousands of people. This is a hole straight down to the pits of Hell.

Canada Kidnapping Themselves

2021-02-02 - Tuesday

Biden, Harris, Napoleon Dynamite Voting Meme

When Canadians return to their home country, Canada, they're federally kidnapped, imprisoned in Covid Concentration Camps for many days, and then charged at least $2,000. Wow. Justin is so liberal. Let's all move to the Land of the Moose. 2 masks at least says CDC. Go to their website and read the article.

Try To Withdraw Money

If you try to take your money out of your bank, they'll flag you, stick the IRS up your butt. Just try it, I dare you. When you try to withdraw cash, watch what happens, and don't get me started with if you ask for gold when you try to cash out. Paper money was supposed to be an "I-Owe-You" check which is supposed to be exchangeable for actual gold, a place-holder.

All About Hive Blog

2021-02-03 - Wednesday

Picture of Joey Arnold

Hive is like Facebook except it pays you to post. Did you know Covid is also called SARS-COV-2? Wait a minute, whatever happened to SARS-COV-1? Did we have a pandemic for the first one? How are we already in the second one? Was I sleeping while the first one was going around? How many years ago was the first one? Is China stealing oil from Texas? Why was Joe Biden refused a Pentagon security clearance? There has been documented cases where people were missing over 90% of their brain tissue but where still able to function like a normal person. One person to even had just a thin layer around the inside of the skull. Literally an empty head and yet could still function as a human. They are destroying the second amendment right now. You have no idea.

Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK

2021-02-04 - Thursday

Trump Terminator

Big interview between Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK today, 2nd hour of the show. The dollar could lose over 20% of its value under Lord Biden before 2022 and much more the following 12 months. It is likely the dollar will die sooner or later meaning you must convert your dollars into something else while you still can. This is financial advice. You have been warned. Your money is on fire but not in a good way. You're leaking value each day. You might as well give me your money as you're losing your money each second. You're wasting your money as you let inflation destroy the value of fiat. Was the Burma Election stolen like it was in America? If you think Biden won, then you do NOT know who won in Burma. I don't care what military is doing. Who won the election in Burma? I'm asking who got the most real votes excluding the fake votes. I want to know who really won. Please let the REAL WINNER be the leader of what you call Myanmar. Whoever actually won should be allowed to run that country, period. Military should help whoever got the most legal votes in that nation. Period. I don't know who won. I am just saying let the real winner have the power, good or bad.

Fall or Rise of Empires

This is what Mike Adams said today. He said something bad could happen over night, that is to the extent the dollar crashes, they'll try to blame the crazy Redditters, the conservatives, for destroying the money, they'll come up with crazy excuses, conspiracy theories, and then say how they saved us by giving us Biden Coins or whatever they want to call it. They are trying to have one centralized global digital currency, no cash, no decentralized cryptocurrencies. So, I agree this could happen at any time, especially if three or more stimulus checks come out in 2021, as they spend more and more money, as people demand silver, gold, etc. The centralized banking system could fall in the next few years or sooner. As that happens, either the good guys or the crazy globalists and baby eaters can take over as that happens. So, in other words, we are in a major transition in global history similar to the rise or fall of other great empires like that of Rome, Babylon, Persia, England, China, etc. But I can't say if we are in the middle of the fall or the rise of an evil authoritarian regime.

Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction?

2021-02-05 - Friday

Alex Jones

Happy birthday brother. Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction? In order to buy guns in 2021 in America, you either have to right now or potentially soon will have to pay too many taxes, additional taxes, including gun related taxes, and pass a test which includes questions relating to if you want to own a gun. If you answer you want a gun, you fail the test because only crazy bad guys want guns. If you want a gun, pass a test. The only way to pass the test is to answer you do not want a gun. Once you answer you do not want a gun, then the genie in the bottle comes out and says in the voice of Robin Williams in Disney's cartoon movie, Aladdin, "As you wish." There were at least two 2020 USA General Election court cases which heard evidence meaning the other dozen or more cases were unconstitutionally dismissed by compromised judges. There is one case in Arizona which is leading towards potential ballot auditing. There may be other legal cases pending in other states in the United States of America. New court cases may rise. Others are ongoing. Some may be, if they haven't yet, potentially, refiled or retried. In some cases, you can do that. It's not double-jeopardy in some cases. It depends but you can sometimes do this depending on the details. A federal case for example could be then tried on the state level. That is not double jeopardy. You can pressure your local counties to call for ballot audits today. Join the revolution.

Nullifying Federal Executive Orders

North Dakota is planning to nullify (on a state level) unconstitutional federal executive orders. If you're not living in this state, you should either go there or encourage your state to call up North Dakota. Hello Texas, Idaho, Wyoming, Arizona, etc. In the world of rock paper scissor, you can see state and federal power. However, never underestimate the power of the county sheriff which trumps over them. You should make friends with your local sheriffs and talk to them about the rule of law regarding what you have to do in your county, legally speaking. Don't go against the sheriffs. Find out what they expect from you as a citizen of the county you're living in.

Amazon Spies

2021-02-06 - Saturday

Trump

Amazon vans have cameras actively spying on people, as in anybody and everybody as they drive around delivering packages, not just their customers but also neighbors and everyone else as well. They collect the data in order to develop a China Social Credit Score Database. Even if you're not on Facebook, they'll still have your data. If you do something that our overlords deem not right, your social credit score begins to go down and down. A lower Social Credit Score means you will not be able to buy and sell, travel, have food, have protection, have safety, have a job, have schooling, have a house, have children, have parents, have organs, have water, have power, have Internet, have apps, have trash, have doctors, have hospitals, have health care. When you call 911 and say somebody cut off your arm and you are bleeding to death, the operator will answer the phone and say, "Sorry, your social credit score is too low, please raise it to an acceptable level and try your call again. Have a good day. Good bye."

I was banned on Bittrex

2021-02-07 - Sunday

I was banned on Bittrex

Banks and big tech companies are making special cities all around the world. Covid to End on the 31st of March of 2025 according to WorldBank.org.

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn

2021-02-08 - Monday

Facebook Restricted

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn and what is yours? Let's have a party before the dollar dies. Let's come up with backup plans and come together in local communities while we still can. Now is the time.

Cronyism Sucks

2021-02-09 - Tuesday

Cronyism Sucks

George Washington did NOT say, "My fellow Americans, read my lips, I hereby grant you some rights which we can then take away if there is a pandemic or if you feel a little unsafe regarding your neighbor's cannons." You can either help your state leave the United States of Satan or you can leave that state. A woman in Vancouver, Washington went to a hospital. Nurses and doctors tried to stick a needle in her arm against her wishes. She said no. The hospital called the police who came and kidnapped her for not breaking the law. No crime. The hospital and the police committed crime against her. And believe all women. And what if I told you she was black and black lives matter. And police are bad. The police might as well sell her to sex trafficking. Don't we want to defund the police? And I am Pro-Choice too. My Body My Choice. And none of your business. Thousands of people go to Oakes Farms Market in Florida daily without masks in 2020 and many of them go there seven days a week because it's the new Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, even some of their staff are 80 years old or older and yet are not getting sick. But if you do want to wear a mask, have at it. Hundreds of new customers come in each day from out of state, some come as far as like New York. You can tell they're new because when they enter the store, their jaws drop like as if they're cartoon characters.

Cash App

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn and what is yours? Let's have a party before the dollar dies. Let's come up with backup plans and come together in local communities while we still can. Now is the time. I will invest in a gold-backed cryptocurrency, as much as I can. Is there such a thing yet? Sign up to be a First Responder today, just call, not toll-free, at 1-800-Get-A-Gun-Duh. Don't kill your chickens, wait until they die of old age, say a little prayer to remember the wonderful life Chicken Little had and then get out your knife and prepare for a feast in honor of the life of the little guy. Study shows over 80% of Covid-19 Patients have vitamin D deficiency. Nurses stick stuff inside babies causing hearts to stop. After that, they try their best to restart the infant's hearts. Too many do die. It is covered up. You don't hear about it. Most viruses die in the air within seconds. Over 85 percent of child trafficking related things seem to be happening on Facebook Messenger.

Gold-Backed Crypto

2021-02-10 - Wednesday

Find me on Instagram at Joeyarnoldvn

Gold and silver are accepted as legal currencies in Utah, Oregon, Colorado, Oklahoma, and Missouri. Before 2030, globalists will most likely murder over 6 billion people. The good news is, number one, we can try to stop some of that, and, number two, regardless, you don't have to be one of them, you don't have to die, there may be only a billion people left on our planet soon. Come join me and survive this coming Holocaust. The greatest Holocaust ever. Save as many people as you can. But at the same time, you don't have to die. Get out of the big cities. Find a farm while you still can. You are running out of time. Find a community of like-minded people and get a room, I mean a community, a neighborhood, a state where you can find like-minded people. Do it while you still can.

Genocide Coming

Because there may be over 7 billion people who support the globalist agenda, they will end up dying most likely in the next few years. You must be prepared for this probability or worst case scenario. Every day you're still not dead yet is precious. You get what you promote. Justice is coming. There are consequences and rewards for the actions we take in life. Will you buy smart underwear which will be connected to the NSA? How do we detox from the lead which is in the soil? I have a friend named Tim Osman. Please don't Google his name. You can make money posting to blockchain social networks, I can help you sign up for free, no credit cards, no money required. I post on these websites and I make money. I did not put any money into them. You can take the money out. You can wire the money to crypto exchanges, banks, wallets.

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday.

2021-02-11 - Thursday

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday.

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday. Step one, find out how many people died annually for the last ten years in your country. Step two, please post those statistics for each individual year including 2020 in your report. We will copy and paste what you find everywhere. Thank you very much. Leftists say you have to say chest, can't say your baby is sucking on your breasts. You have to say human milk. You cannot say it is the milk of the mother. Oh My God. Russia killed the ALL-MIGHTY DOLLAR! I hate you RUSSIA! Are you happy America is becoming Venezuela in the next few years or much sooner because you do nothing, isn't that really cool that you're helping this republic and the world crumble? Are you excited as millions of people die? Do you wake up each morning happy that you don't care about this? Covid Vaccine has over 5 different viruses which it programs and mass produces in your cells to eat up your body from the inside-out, to attack the proteins, to kill your babies, to give you HIV, to kill your immune system and cause you to die from the common cold within months to the extend you're lacking enough essential vitamins.

Regarding Gold-Backed Cryptocurrencies

But the idea of a gold-backed cryptocurrency could at least in theory become a 2-in-1 deal where it might be backed by gold and yet as a fail-safe if all else goes wrong, if governments and others come in to confiscate the gold, you would still have something like Bitcoin or whatever type of cryptocurrency it may be. I see that as a potential two in one deal. Of course the risks, liability, privacy risks of having governments seek to imprison people for having gold which might be connected to a cryptocurrency, I understand that might be too big of a risk in some situations, it may be harder to be anonymous if police were to spot you holding some gold. Finding ways to stay as anonymous online in the mist of tyranny is a worthy cause and that is why I value the 4th amendment of the U.S. constitution. Cartoons and other children shows are actively singing songs and otherwise encouraging toddlers to wear masks, to not shake hands, hug, or get close to other people; to simply not be humans at all, this will scar these kids for the rest of their lives, deep intellectual abuse.

Brother Joined Hive

2021-02-12 - Friday

My brother joined Hive - When I Was Young, Busted Knees, No Helmets, No Limits

Mother cries as insulin for his son who could die without it costs more than $500 even as it only costs pennies to make. Biden did this. Watch the video of this mother in her car video. Listen to her passion as she speaks truth. They say even after everyone on the planet is vaccinated, we still must have lockdown globally, even in ten years from now. Are you happy for living on Planet Wall-E as Fat People stuck in The Matrix? Over ten million starved to death in 2020 thanks to people staying at home and being safe. We kept ourselves so safe, we ended up dying because we had no food. We are so scared, we make the problem worse. The odds of coming up with the exact numbers of the 2020 U.S. General Elections, Mathematician Expert Edward Solomon says there aren't enough stars in the known universe to have it come up by chance apart from electronic manipulation, statistically, it's astronomical, he went on to say there aren't even enough atoms in the universe. Biden won exactly the same percentage points across multiple precincts at designated times a day just long enough to put him in the lead. One example in Fulton County, Georgia on starting at 12:54 AM on Wednesday, the 4th of November of 2020, the percentage was set 5.5555%, and every 30 minutes to an hour plus a few times on Thursday, that is eleven separate times, each time it was exactly 5.555% percent, and that is humanly impossible to replicate by hand without the help of voting software.

Elmo Vaccine

Elmo got the vaccine and people on Sesame Street are locked in their homes like as if they were living in China. Children are being brainwashed. This is worse than sexual abuse. Green means you can travel. Different colors means different things under the Chinese Credit Score which is going to Europe, Australia, Canada, and is also slowly getting into America. If the centralized powers don't like you or your friends, then you can't work, school, travel, buy, sell, have your kids, have Internet, have a phone plan, health care, police care, fire care, water, sewer, garbage, food, etc. There is an alleged James Clapper interrogation audio tape which I'm listening to right now.

Shoveling Snow

2021-02-13 - Saturday

Michelle Obama, "Joe Biden, get your hands off my dick."

Before getting the Covid Vaccine, read the ingredients, the insert. And tell yourself, oh, I am putting this thing in my body, that is awesome. And oh, I am putting this other thing in my body. It is not a vaccine. Ignorance is Bliss. It's cool when you don't know you don't know something. It's cool when millions of people are likely to die or very close to it in 2021 because of Covid Vaccines.

Money is Dying

Cannot wait for the dollar to die. A study found that over 80% of those who got Covid were vitamin-D deficient. And the Flu magically disappeared during the winter. If you're going off the CDC website, you should make a list of the exact numbers.

Happy Valentines Day

2021-02-14 - Sunday

Joe Biden in like 2003

Happy Valentines Day. America has been dead for 209 years. They try to kill people via nano bots which goes into the body to cause flu like symptoms. That is fused with 5G, geoengineering, chemicals, waves, a variety of things working together. You must actively try ten times harder to counter as much of it all as you can, your ignorance is bliss, your children will suffer to the extent you try not to counter things you are yet to know. I repeat, things you are yet to know. Apple cider vinegar, 2 tablespoons a day but broken up gradually throughout the day, can help you. Encouraging healthy pH blood level balance minimizes cancer, detoxifies the liver, dissolves viruses, and helps the heart. The brain-gut connection. Is it true the last U.S. President to take the oath for the united states for America was back in around 1812? Has America been dead for over two centuries now? Did you know there is a star inside our earth? Biden is telling Americans to wear masks until 2022.

Reducing Zombism

Candida is a type of fungus which helps decompose dead bodies but the problem comes when the people are still alive while Candida is excessively growing and eating up your body even before you are actually dead. Therefore, you want to look at fasting, at starving those little guys at least once every ten years if not as often as you can to minimize how much of them you have inside of your biology. Borax detoxes fluoride from the brain. Inside your body are the bad guys, the fungi, which wants your body to die, and the good guys, which are the bacteria which wants your body to live, that is the civil war within your chemical makeup. The pineal gland in our brain is a spiritual window into the Supernatural Internet which transcends space and time, it truly is the third eye, but fluoride blocks it. Does the earth have two moons?

Party at Five

2021-02-15 - Monday

Star Wars Luke Kenobi Father Vader Anakin Floor is Lava Game Sucks He Was And Died Hahaha Meme

Party at Five. RINOs are Republican In Name Only and PINOs are Patriots In Name Only. Thousands of refugees are being allowed into California and Texas from Mexico but without being tested for Covid, no masks, no safety. But if you want to go anywhere or do anything, you have to get tested. When immigrants come in, as they do right now, they are NOT being tested for anything really, they can pass on diseases to you and you are not allowed to do anything period.

Texas Freezing

2021-02-16 - Tuesday

Girl from Firefly show

A 28 YEAR OLD WISCONSIN MOM DIES DAYS AFTER SECOND PFIZER SHOT. Why are kids sneaking out of the White House? Is Tom Cruise part of an off-planet corporation called Umbrella? You can find really old videos on the Internet of really tall people, some of them may be 14 feet tall or taller as you can see people and horses almost reach the height of this man's knees. Did you really think those videos were fake? Many times you'll find truth hiding in plain sight. Truth is often lying underneath your nose all along. This takes the Mandela Effect to a whole new level. Is the South Pole actually the North Pole? It's below zero degrees in Texas right now, they refusing to turn the power back on as people freeze to death, they're shutting down stores as people starve to death, and they're refusing to plow roads. You can literally watch videos of giant semi-trucks crashing into other trucks, at least three giant trucks, one which was going at least 70 MPH and the others were going pretty fast too, several people died in just that pile up alone.

Who is Oatmeal Joey Arnold?

I am single, 36 years old, I live in Shelton, I am Christian, no kids, I live with my parents, I don't wear a mask ever, I listen to Alex Jones, I love Trump, I am a little bit crazy, I don't work. I don't have a job. I just sit on a computer all day writing on my blog and that is it. Was the inspiration behind the Star Gate movies and shows stolen from the Native American Indians? Weather manipulation meetings at your local town hall in a county or state near you, why are you not there to ask them questions? Things got so bad in India that they created a task force and then ended up banning the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. That's how EVIL India is. Hey folks, how could India keep out our SAVIORS? We all know Bill Gates is the second coming of Jesus Christ. Kissinger wrote a report back in the 1970s regarding how to control the African population.

Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post

2021-02-17 - Wednesday

White Culture Dont Have Any Joke Yes We Do

Texas Dark Winter to last for weeks, people are freezing and starving to death, people are so excited as the globalists take over the world, Biden said the Dark Winter was coming, he was right. Be prepared for a new biological weapon, a new Covid disease, coming either this year in 2021 or at least before 2025. It will kill at least 4 billion people. Don't tell me I didn't warn you. I'm on record trying to tell you how bad things are. If you're reading this, you're guilty of not caring. Please, do something. The clock is ticking. Will China be aiming nuclear weapons at 24 targets across the globe, will it be real, will it be staged, will it be an excuse to lockdown the world, what is going to happen? Will it be exactly 24 different places in different countries around this planet? Will this be a good thing or a bad thing? Will the good guys or the bad guys be able to take control of whatever that might happen in February of 2021? Will it be any day now? Will people fall for false flags? Is there anything we can do right now?

Bill Gates Over Biden

Biden won't speak to world leaders. Boris Johnson said Bill Gates is really the head of the G8. This is how globalism works. They're getting the general population used to the world being run by technocracy. In a secret video, Mark Zuckerberg told his Facebook staff he didn't trust the Covid Vaccine. So, why isn't Mark telling his 2 billion users this? Why keep such a thing a secret? In the 1960s, America asked Russia to start a world war against China but Russia declined. That was declassified.

Photoshop Funny

2021-02-18 - Thursday

1776 Put Mask On Americans No Way

Funny story today, somebody used photoshop to try to fool me ahahahahhaaa! Biden is taking over the Texan Power-Grid, red alert, warning warning. We know their plan. We know the patterns. They'll say deadlier strands are out there now. This will likely be by the fall of 2021 if not a lot sooner. The strands will generally be less deadly. But it's extremely coordinated, scripted, they will all try their best to make you gulp down this Kool-Aid of Death. Shifting into Techno-Scientific Dictatorship, they're phasing the general public to accept this shift in world history globally, most people are stuck in a trance and they do NOT even know it. Even if you tell them, they will say to you, "You are crazy." THEY'RE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE SKY THAT MAKES THE SNOW GAY. The power grid was an attack on water-power devices, especially in the 1930s. Some people had water-powered devices. They didn't need electricity because they water-powered devices.

Scaring Children to Death

A ten year old was admitted to the hospital because he was losing weight because he was refusing to eat for so long because he was afraid he would get Covid and die. Sergeant Major said they don't call it a Lie-Berry for nothing. Did you know they used to have water-powered mechanical devices? You were not told real history. A lot of stuff covered up. Why not get back to water power? Aren't you even just a little bit curious? People had free electricity thanks to tap water in the early 1900s. So, why would people give that up? What happened? Why trade that in for a monthly electricity bill?

We Need County Coin

2021-02-19 - Friday

Lauren Chen was on Friday Night Tights

Steele mentioned the idea of CountyNet. Also, he mentioned an idea of a CountyCoin which loses value the farther away from the county the coin moves in order to incentivize investing back into the same community as opposed to going excessively and obsessively overseas aggressively, as in too much and too often. I confess I fell for fake news when I thought Babbit died. I was wrong. Steele says Wall Street and others stolen 100 trillion dollars. People in power plants in Texas were ordered to lower down, to power down to zero percent in most cases, the documents are here, you can read the documents, they were ordered to do this on purpose, this is KILLING PEOPLE, and YOU DO NOT CARE. Do you have no friends or family in Texas? 2021-02-14 - Sunday - 08:51 PM EST - The 14th of February of 2021 - DOE Order Number 202-21-1 was issued for Texas (ERCOT), for more info, go to Energy dot gov, their official government website.

Texas Being Murdered

The Department of Energy (DOE) was ordered to turn off the power in Texas which is causing people to die. They're literally murdering people and nobody cares. The evidence is right there, we can all grab and share it. But nobody cares that thousands to millions of Texans are starving and freezing to death. I said, to death. The Department of Energy told Texas they CANNOT produce more energy, that is why people are dying. DOE Order Number 202-21-1 mentions ERCOT (ISO), this document can be read on their official government website, you can go there, you can read it, you can pass it on to your friends, or you can let your friends die in the cold in Texas with no power. Texas electricity bill for your power, just this week now, went from $50 per Megawatt to over $9000 per Megawatt. Breaking News, Megan Fox is an Anti-Masker which means she is Pro-Vitamin, we are all going to die.

Why is Sweden banning masks?

2021-02-20 - Saturday

Alpha Heater

Why is Sweden banning masks? Many times, they ban people from YouTube but then let other upload the same videos or similar videos and profit from them. The Covid Vaccine is not a remedy but an operating system.

The Healthy American

2021-02-21 - Sunday

We Stole It Fair & Square

Stores are not legally allowed to discriminate or disrupt commerce which comes from even the customers who refuses to wear masks. Stores can say it's private property. However, because the stores are open to the public, thanks to the 4th amendment, thanks to other things as well, prohibiting customers is discrimination among other things as well. The maskless buyer is not trespassing if he or she is not disrupting commerce. Moreover, when you prohibit customers from stores, then you are engaging in the disruption of commerce which may be illegal among other things as well partly because the customers are part of the free market exchange system which we call commerce. Stopping customers means you are disrupting commerce. That is illegal. You should go to jail for disrupting commerce. It may be many different things, not just that. Stores and states must be held accountable for violating laws. Stores are public. They cannot enforce masks. Churches however are legally considered to be private and can enforce masks.

Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001

2021-02-22 - Monday

Coco Cola White Polar Bear Fired For Being Too White

Sound of Freedom is a great movie. The only preparedness that counts is the preparedness that happens when you don't yet need it. One day without notice, you will wake up and you will go to an ATM and it will not work. You will have no food in your house for many weeks to many months or longer. It takes less energy to walk on two legs than it takes to run four legs. The majority of suicides are from white male adults. Second spot is held by black male adults. Why was Bill Gates thrown out of 32 countries? New monthly vaccines for the virus of the month. Are you excited? He said now we have to difficult work of "Untying this knot," that is code for crazy people have to be sent off to re-educational FEMA camps where they will either recant or be murdered.

Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro

2021-02-23 - Tuesday

Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro

Gina interview. Why did NASA stop looking for life on Mars in 1976, why did they transition after that to geology, to looking for rocks? Trump got over 80 million votes while Biden got less than 40 million. Why are so many world leaders saying Covid-19 is permanent? They refuse to test it on animals because it kills animals or worse. No animals were harm in the making of this post. God save the animals. I'm glad we skipped animal-testing.

Being Dead Due To Birth

2021-02-24 - Wednesday

Tell Me Your Secrets

The only time your name is written in all uppercase capital letters is on your tombstone and yet that is how it's formatted on birth certificates, when parents sign it IN CURSIVE LETTERS when you are born, that is necromancy. When they say you can't leave the hospital with your own newborn infant baby without signing it, that is theft or worse. Legally speaking, it is a literal death sentence as you are literally selling away your baby. You need to live in groups of at least ten people. Zombies will be coming from the big cities. Protect your family from the walking dead. Why are so many big people being arrested around the world each day? Why?

Who Controls The Military Right Now?

Was an executive order or other items signed officially in 2019 authorizing a former (allegedly incumbent) U.S. President full control of the military even up to 60 days after an alleged inauguration of a alleged new administration (that is the new but fake President of the possibly defunct United Corporate States of America) which would end in or around, approximately, on the 20th of March of 2021? Please let me know such things were not signed. Please let your friends know nothing at all happened in 2019 at all. I'm only asking. I have no idea what happened.

Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids

2021-02-25 - Thursday

Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids

My gender is oatmeal. That is the kind of sex or gender I am. In India, doctors are saying women who get the Covid Vaccines are showing signs of the beginning stages of sudden breast cancer. Wow. This is amazing. Sign me up. Now we can all be Booby-Free Angelina Jolie. Please stick ten of those things in my arms today. Quick, this cannot come fast enough. Make boobs not great again. Please tell your friends how awesome this is. Learn To Say No Just For One Day Article. Tree Court Article.

Globalist vs Brazil

In Brazil, they're trying to force the government to not only waive all liability for the Covid Vaccines but also to sign over military bases over to them as well, it's insane but crazy things happen daily if only you knew the half of it. Back to American news. The Supreme Court has committed treason against the constitution and the republic of these American states. They've ruled saying whoever cheats the most in an election gets to be the alleged president of this defunct fake corporation which we illegally call in all caps THE UNITED STATES OF [not 'for'] AMERICA. Cheating is not only allowed but now also endorsed by the highest court of the land.

My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign

2021-02-26 - Friday

My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign

Masks Causes Bacteria Pneumonia. My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign. Their goal is to make all humans unable to naturally reproduce by 2030. Why is South Africa cancelling the Covid Vaccine? There is also related news in Brazil, India, etc. See, people are dying from vaccines. They've been spending billions to trillions of dollars covering up vaccine deaths for decades globally. They murder people who expose this or worse in most cases. You have no idea how bad it is. Bill Gates and others are involved in giving vaccines to people around the world. That is why Bill Gates is banned in so many countries. In other news, there may be someday selling cloned synthetic children meat to encourage people to eat. Hell, they may have it ready already. Celebrity meat actually. The only we defeat this invisible enemy is to decide our own destiny. 80% of people who died of Covid in Canada were in nursing homes. 101 Pocketball Journal Scans Uploaded.

Covid Vaccines Are Murdering People

Why are over 75% of U.S. military troops refusing the Covid Vaccine? Because vaccines kill people. But more than that, the Covid Vaccine is not a vaccine. It utilizes mRNA which turns your cells into virus factories. That is what mRNA is. See, the M on mRNA means MESSENGER. This is Basic Biology & Science 101 For Dummies here. The vaccine literally sends messages or mRNA into the cell nucleus to tell it to make specific items. Covid-19 and the alleged vaccines in response to it are both GMO-like chimera monsters. They're a combination of different viruses, different things, I'm talking Frankenstein on a microscopic level. I've been talking about this many times. That is why so many people and so many countries are saying no to the vaccines. And again, the Covid Vaccines are not even vaccines to begin with. I wouldn't even be surprised if nano-tech is involved among other things in regards to these things which are murdering people right now. Sadly, they're blaming the mRNA deaths on Covid. So, they're trying very hard to make you think that you need to take monthly vaccines. And the more people die, the more they'll say, "Hurry up, you need even more vaccines, etc." Remember, they have spent billions to trillions of dollars covering up vaccine deaths. They murdered many people who tried exposing them. Fake news would never tell you all of this because they're fake news.

Cleaned Out a Chicken House

2021-02-27 - Saturday

Alex Jones Predicting Covid-19 Back in 2010

Wear a mask or I'm calling the cops. Alright, call the cops. I'm suing them. In 2020, over 40 million alleged votes for Biden were fake. In 2008, it was reported that HAARP was learning how to steer hurricanes via high-atmosphere heat injection, kind of like guiding a kitten with a string. Watch out for Bioterrorism says Bill Gates. Which reminds me, kind of funny how Texas was suddenly colder than Montana. Wow. Out of nowhere. What happened on this day in 1933? Reich Fire. Hitler. Germany. Klaus Schwab says you will ONLY ONLY ONLY eat bugs and will love it.

What is in the Covid Vaccine?

Some of the ingredients for the mRNA Covid Vaccine includes some of the most commonly consumed things including vinegar, salt, sugar, plus a few very common preservatives found in so many food items. Too many people buy processed foods which includes preservatives in them. So, why are these commonly consumed items in the vaccine? It is there to trigger autoimmune responses in your body's immune system. It may takes years for your body to get there, but slowly over time, your body will begin to develop allergies to salt, sugar, vinegar, etc. These allergies may spiral out of control into even worse problems over time. Now, that is just the tip of the iceberg. But it is a good thing to start with and share with others. Don't believe me. Don't take my word for it. Go get a list of the ingredients to these vaccines and post them here. I will wait for your awesome responses. Thank you so much in advance for responding with the real list of ingredients. Prove me wrong. Easy to do. Just show me the ingredients. Show me these items, like salt, is not in the vaccine.

DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY

2021-02-28 - Sunday

Covid Vaccine Ingredients

Your body will become DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY. Why is Pfizer giving their customers one thing but their staff a different thing? Pfizer got a new drug out which is going to help people deal with one of the side-effects of their own vaccines. So, they make money trying to fool you into getting one and then even more money when you have to come back to take some of their drugs to deal with the deadly side-effects. Have fun, kids. You WILL swell up like a balloon. I warned you. Why were thousands to millions of 2020 ballots had computer-printed vote marks as opposed hand-written vote marks all for Biden and none for Trump?

Trump 2024 is Retarded

Downvote because Trump won in 2020. See, they can steal it from Trump in 2024 too. We have to call for FORENSIC-STYLE ballot audits in each county each day. Call people. Email people. You can make a difference. Call the military. Call Congress. Call judges. Write letters. Protest in person. Make videos. Write articles. Share things everywhere. Do something. If you are reading this and you are doing nothing, then you deserve Biden and the Chinese takeover of America.

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DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY

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zerochanges · 3 years

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2020 Favorite Anime

I am sure I don’t have to exactly spell it out that 2020 was a different year, we all know the spiel now. It was in particular a bad year for me for a lot of personal reasons on top of the whole world wide pandemic thing killing millions and shutting down business and and all our hobbies--so I really was straight up not having a good time. It’s because of that I honestly didn’t really keep up with a lot of my hobbies this year so when it comes to choosing my favorite anime and games of 2020, I don’t have as much as I usually would.

So this year I decided to just say screw it, there are no rules. I usually try to impose some on myself every year for my lists: rules like no sequels, no long running shows, no shows that technically started last year, only new content from this year and not older stuff I watched/played this year but came out from a prior one. This time, there are no holds barred. I am just going to list my top whatever the hell I feel like listing. So starting with anime and in my usual alphabetical order; here we go.

The 8th Son? Are You Kidding Me?

Maybe a guilty pleasure? Maybe I just enjoy some trashier shows? It’s hard to say. There is nothing that great about 8th Son, it’s very bland and doesn’t stick out amongst the million other isekai (another world) power fantasy series that are all the rage now and yet there is a strange draw to it. Perhaps it’s because almost all the isekai elements in the series feel more forced than anything else, like they are just tacked on to appeal to modern audiences.

8th Son honestly feels more like a good old fashion fantasy series from the 90’s that just had to add isekai elements in it to appeal to kids today. I really enjoyed it for that aspect. The power fantasy isn’t too out of control (although the protagonist is quite strong), and there is no real end goal or attempt to return to your previous life. The protagonist Wendelin is more or less just cool with how things are now. Instead it focuses on his growth as a mage and how he tries to navigate the political intrigue of this feudal world being one of the youngest born in a noble family with no clear line of succession to take over yet being the most talented and magically gifted child of said family.

Ascendance of a Bookworm

Proving that not all isekai series have to be a power fantasy, Ascendance of a Bookworm plays out more like an educational take on medieval times, think something among the lines of Spice and Wolf, if you will. One day Motosu Urano wakes up in the body of the small child Myne in a fantasy world much like medieval Europe but with a few other elements like magic and sorcery. While at first that may sound like a high flying adventure it really isn’t. The series is more about following the average life of a peasant in this world and how far out of reach literature is to them, given the lack of printing press and the like. Urano now Myne tries her best to create books for the common people and spread literature, a herculean task considering the insane douchebaggery of the higher caste in this world. But armed with modern day knowledge of the 21st century Myne is able to create modern conveniences and wow most people around her.

Black Clover

So I am going to include long running shows now this year, get over it. Black Clover has been a favorite of mine in recent years. Out of the modern Jump battle series I find myself more and more drawn into Clover (and also my one true love, the ever underappreciated World Trigger) than the other more popular ones that seem to rule all the anime conversations today. Since I was following the series dubbed as it aired on Toonami this year brought me the end of the first part of the series; finally seeing the epic conclusion of Clover Kingdom’s long standing battle with the Eye of the Midnight Sun and revealing some pretty great and shocking twists behind the war of elves and humans along the way.

This finale was fantastic and honestly while I am glad to see the series continue on and grow from there, and look forward to seeing more of this new second part of Clover that focuses on a war with the Spade Kingdom, I absolutely would not have complained if the whole thing ended right here with this story arc. It wraps up so beautifully and is a compilation of three great years of episodes.

BOFURI: I Don’t Want to Get Hurt so I’ll Max Out My Defense

Bofuri is not a series I thought I would enjoy as much as I did but it really won me over. Essentially just a ‘cute girls do cute things’ kind of show but with a twist of it being in an MMO game, there is something about it that made it so comfy and easy to watch. There’s always something enjoyable about watching the protagonist Maple, an absolutely clueless newbie at video games continue to be the bane of existence to the developers and admins of the game as she constantly breaks it and becomes insanely overpowered on a regular basis all from her own cluelessness.

As the title suggests she is the only person in the world to get scared of taking damage in a video game and puts all her stats into defense and literally nothing else entirely. After so much grinding the girl is such a tank she can just walk through enemies to kill them. It’s fun little things like this that make the show always worth a chuckle as her legendary player status continues to rise while in reality she just has no clue how to play RPGs whatsoever.

Boruto: Naruto Next Generations

If you think Black Clover had a great run of episodes this year in 2020 just wait until you see what Boruto had to offer. While not a perfect year, the series did take off for about 2 months thanks to a pandemic hiatus, once it came back it was stronger than ever. We came out of the gates running and kicked off the return of Boruto with a fantastic 20+ episode long story arc centered on introducing the main group of villains in the series, the Kara. The world of Boruto became much bigger and much darker, and the series in the last year has started to bring in a lot more manga content and moving at a brisker and faster pace, changing the status quo up quite a lot. Watching the New Team 7 grow so much and rise to these challenges was rewarding and I am so excited for the vessel story arc teased at the latest Jump Festa this December.

Ultimately though their first encounter, crushing defeat, and subsequent rematch with Deepa; a new anime only member of Kara meant to introduce the organization to anime viewers was an insane show de force of animation and one of the best battles in 2020 anime, dare I say. These kids are growing into great warriors and the stakes have been raised so much.

Cardfight!! Vanguard Gaiden IF

The 2018 reboot of the Vanguard series saw not only the card game get refreshed but the television anime as well. Dubbed the V Series by fans thanks to all the new card serial numbers starting with a V post reboot, these last two years have been fun and full of fan service for long time viewers of the anime. Gaiden IF is the final season of this reboot before the fourth entry of the franchise Overdress begins in 2021, and was a very strange and experimental one at that. Gaiden IF holding true to its name was a gaiden, or spinoff of the series that wasn’t necessary in the same canon as the regular show and more fascinating had zero card fights during the entire show--instead being one huge parody of card game animes in general and the beloved cast of characters the series has built over its ten year run.

It’s quite hilarious and a great round of fun, especially since there isn’t a main character in sight. Gaiden IF is carried entirely by a cast of side characters and former villains now taking over the role of protagonist. I’ve never seen a show go for an entire season with such minor characters playing such a huge role and that is one of the best aspects of it. Every week watching Ibuki Kouji, one of the most feared and powerful villains in the series being tormented and kicked around as a would-be hero now honestly carries the entire show.

But really, this was one of the first anime to air post pandemic hiatus and it was so refreshing to have Vanguard back. Every week it reminded me how much I loved the franchise and anime in general, it was such a delight to finally have something enjoyable back in my life after such a grueling pandemic hiatus of nothing.

Dragon Quest: Dai no Daibouken (2020)

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think there would be a modern adaptation of Dai no Daibouken, or The Adventures of Dai as it is being called in English now. This was one of my all time favorite Jump manga growing up and I always thought the original unfinished 1991 anime was the best we were ever going to get as far as animation goes, so to see this beautiful new series with its fantastic storyboarding and animation, great use of CG mixed in with hand drawn, and what seems like an outright declaration from the series itself that it will adapt the series in its entirety this time, it’s all too much.

This new Dai adaptation is like a dream anime that was made just for me. Every Saturday morning I giddily log on to watch the new episode just like being a kid again with Saturday morning cartoons. If you are sleeping on this show, don’t! You won’t regret watching it, Dai was one of the all time great Shonen Jump properties of the 90’s and is ready to show kids today what that era has to offer!

Gundam Build Divers Re:rise Season 2

Rerise was hands down one of my favorite shows last year when the first cour aired, and this year is no different either, dare I say once again this was probably my favorite show of the whole year. It’s hard to really go into what made this second cour so good without flat out spoiling all the best parts, and all the character development, and all the amazing battles, but suffice to say, this may be one of the best Gundam shows of the entire decade, Build series or not. Hell I ain’t afraid to say this kicked G-Tekketsu (Iron Blooded Orphans) ass this way to Sunday, I don’t care that this is a toy commercial for a much younger audience. Basically, watch Rerise, it’s going to be a great time.

If My Favorite Pop Idol Made It to the Budokan, I Would Die

This was another series that I expected very little from but ended up really enjoying each week. The basic premise is pretty simple, a super fan obsessed with an idol (singer) goes to insane lengths to support her and thinks her love will never be reciprocated but maybe it just might be. It’s kinda strange and an unusual romance series that isn’t really all that big on romance. In fact it seems to be much bigger on being informative about idol fan culture and nerd culture in general and poking fun at that while never being too mean spirited.

I think that’s the charm of this one. These are by all extent weird kinda creepy people that are obsessed over young girl singers but it never demonizes its cast for that nor does it ever go too far in the power fantasy of them ‘getting the girl’. It’s about the struggle of fan life and the tightknit and utterly bizarre groups of friends you can make in a fandom--and also maybe some love might happen along the way.

Jujutsu Kaisen

Another big modern shonen jump battle manga got its chance to be animated this year, and this time courtesy of studio Mappa who are the real stars of this party. Everything about Jujutsu Kaisen feels like Mappa throwing down the gauntlet and trying to one-up the highly praised and beloved Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba from last year that wowed everyone with UFOtable’s signature beautiful animation. It’s very fascinating to see the insane levels of gorgeous jaw dropping action set pieces between these two series, both raising the bar to ridiculous levels in their own ways. On top of the animation front though are some very easily lovable characters, a much darker feeling supernatural story than one may expect, and probably Crunchyroll’s best dub produced in 2020.

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken is another series from beloved auteur Masaaki Yuasa. Bringing with it his signature style and wonderful animation, his hardworking compatriots at studio Science Saro deliver something truly special, an anime about why anime is great and just how the heck it is made to begin with. I think one of my favorite aspects of Yuasa’s work is just how sincere almost his entire output is, and how you can really feel a certain kind of emotion and vision behind each work that is unique to it. For Eizouken it is definitely the joy of creation and what it means to pursue something creative. Easily one of the best watches of 2020 for both its visuals, sound design, characters with great chemistry that have to deliver very heavy and technical dialogue but do so in a really natural and enjoyable way--and hey the shows within the show that the girls make are also usually pretty interesting and good too.

MAJOR 2nd Season 2

I think my favorite aspect of this new middle school arc of MAJOR 2nd was seeing just how much Daigo has changed over the years since we last saw him in elementary school in the first season. No longer in little league and now trying to save his school’s baseball club, Daigo has grown into a strong leader and really feels natural with everyone he talks to. It’s a huge departure from the bullied and reclusive selfish kid he was in the first season. Seeing the kid grow up into somebody reliable and caring like this almost brings a tear to my eye.

It’s an old cliché but saving the falling apart club in your school is a classic underdog story and the fact that Daigo built his own team from the ground up really sells it. The team is largely made up of girls too which brings a really great girl power aspect to it as well. With just 3 boys and the rest of the positions being filled with females, the haphazard team Daigo put together not only has to show that nobodies can make it but that girls are just as good as the boys.

Rent-a-Girlfriend

I love trashy romcom harem anime, I will be the first to admit it. I am not even their target audience, in fact I am probably the exact opposite of their target audience yet I can’t get enough of this kind of garbage, and Rent-a-Girlfriend brings in the garbagest of garbage it can! The name says it all right there, our hero is literally so pathetic he has to pay girls money to go on dates with him. And he just continues to ruin everything around him with his constant lying and all around patheticness. He is like a blackhole of suck that will drag down any and all that go near him. What more can you even want?!

I am half facetious here of course, but to an extent what I said about Kazuya isn’t wrong. He’s the biggest loser around, and I love him. It’s fun to watch him squirm, and it’s nice to learn more about him and see he has a good side deep down too. In a lot of ways he’s probably one of the more relatable leads in these kinds of shows as he’s just as pathetic as all the rest of us who watch these kinds of shows are. But besides Kazuya there are plenty of nice leading ladies too and probably most surprisingly a fairly well fleshed out circle of friends that he hangs out with. Usually these kinds of shows will sideline the male friends of the leads and only focus on time between the lead and the girls, so it’s refreshing to see so much time spent with other boys in the show too.

Also as an addendum to anyone who watches the series dubbed, Aleks Le‘s performance as the lead role is maybe some of the best casting in modern anime dubbing I have ever heard. He kills it in this show. It’s a performance that carries the entire show.

Shadowverse

You might say, I saved the best for last, but honestly this was a coincidence. Shadowverse is a by-the-numbers card game anime. It starts very slow and very bland, and offers nothing new to the genre instead sticking entirely to the classic tropes and clichés of sports anime and Yu-Gi-Oh clones alike. That is for the first 12 episodes or so. It begins to evolve and gets a little more interesting from there, then something happens. Something I cannot explain. Something that makes no sense. Something that the production committee probably should not have allowed to occur. The show just goes absolutely, positively, certifiably, fucking insane.

Out of nowhere, the plot suddenly turns into a straight Neon Genesis Evangelion knock-off, complete with plugsuits, random nonsense mysticism from exotic religions, and soul crushing nightmarishly harsh treatment of the child protagonists. Suddenly time freezes for everyone but the main characters, and the totally original not Kabbalah, Tree of Woe, begins to end the world. Now armed with their new psychic powers (that they just have now out of nowhere!) the kids have to fight brain washed former enemies and loved ones alike that seek to destroy the world via assimilation into the darkness.

Suddenly we have moments like the above where Luca, the coldhearted and cool Shadowverse player who only ever began fighting in tournaments to earn money for his younger sick sister’s treatment has to face off against a possessed evil version of his sister who bemoans all the isolation he put her through, never being there with her, always away trying to earn money. She berates and destroys the young man’s heart for his well intentions. Luca with no other options has to put her down for the good of the world.

You know, for the 12 year old kids in the audience that signed up for a show about a cellphone app.

I haven't even gotten to the best part yet, the show isn’t over! There’s still 12 episodes left in the series and do you wanna know the best part?! The heroes already failed! The world blew up and everyone got sucked into a blackhole and died! That’s not a joke. The bad guys won. And there’s still another season worth of episodes to go! I am not kidding, this is how the show ended the year 2020! This is legendary, no fucks given status if I ever saw it. The best way to end 2020 if ever there was one:

Every week I anxiously log on to watch Shadowverse after it jumped the shark just to see what insanity happens next. This is Tommy Wiseau The Room energy levels of pure insane dribble. Shadowverse might be the biggest disaster of a card game anime of all time, and I simply cannot get enough of it now.

BONUS THOUGHTS For 2020

Random Anime Collecting: This year saw Discotek release three Case Closed/Detective Conan movies on blu-ray. Detective Conan is a series near and dear to my heart, and one I spent a lot of my college days obsessed over. This is a franchise I really went to great lengths to collect after Funimation reprinted many of the long time out of print volumes of the series back in 2013, and I bought them all back then. Buying new Detective Conan movies in 2020 felt super surreal, and also wonderful. I really hope I can keep buying more in 2021.

Hidive for these hard times: I didn’t include anything really from Sentai, I am not sure why, maybe none of what I watched this year would count as a favorite of mine, maybe I was just lazy and didn’t want to add to my list anymore. Honestly though I watched a lot of series this year on Hidive. I think my favorite has been the new dub of Pet Girl of Sakurasou.

A Lost Classic: Nobody is talking about God Mazinger finally getting released in English from Discotek and that kind of bums me out. The series was one I obsessed over when younger, especially because it was rare to find even raw footage of it lead alone subtitled. It was never subtitled in fact, so Discotek’s release is the first time it has ever been in English.

#anime #The 8th Son? Are You Kidding Me?#Ascendance of a Bookworm #Black Clover #Boruto #Boruto Naruto Next Generations #Bofuri #Cardfight!! Vanguard #Dragon Quest #Dragon Quest Dai no Daibouken #dragon quest the adventure of dai #Gundam Build Divers Re:rise #JuJutsu Kaisen #Keep YOur Hands Off Eizouken #MAJOR 2nd #Rent-a-girlfriend #Shadowverse

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