#WE GOT A TEAR FROM WANJI

[cchaoticc]

IS THAT A TEAR

#K.T #WE GOT A TEAR FROM WANJI #HES MAD MAD #IM SO UPSET WHATS GONNA HAPPEN TO WUXIAN NOW #THE UNTAMED #IM SORRY FOR YELLING BUT THIS IS A LOT

[robininthelabyrinth]

If/when you are doing prompts: In terms of personality and/or timeline of events, what, if anything, would be different if LWJ was raised in a different sect?

The healers said it was trauma.

Perhaps he was too young, or too sensitive; perhaps it was only that it had happened in such a way, at such an impressionable time – in any event, Lan Wangji’s reactions to his mother’s death had gone well beyond the normal signs of grief and turned into something much more severe.

After some intense discussion, it was agreed that he should be temporarily sent to live as a guest in another sect to see if he would benefit from the change of scenery. From not being around the place where he was drowning in the memories of his mother.

For Lan Wangji, the first he became aware of this was when a small dog darted through his feet and a boy of approximately the same size, who was chasing after it, crashed straight into him.

“Are you Lan Zhan?” the boy asked, blinking at him. “I’m Jiang Cheng. Can you help me catch the dog? It’s important!”

Lan Wanji blinked back, the entire experience being incredibly unlike anything he’d ever encountered before, and nodded.

“Thanks!” Jiang Cheng said, exhaling with relief. “My dad says he’ll think about getting me my own dogs eventually, but only if I show that I can take care of one, so the neighbors have been letting me hang out with theirs except this time he got loose and –”

Lan Wangji didn’t say anything, but Jiang Cheng didn’t seem to mind, and together they were able to wrangle the dog back to its proper owner.

Later that day, Lan Wangji’s uncle came and told him that he would be staying with the Jiang sect for a little while, since it seemed like the heat was good for his health. Lan Wangji hugged his brother good-bye and nodded seriously when his brother made him promise to write him a letter every day, and that, it seemed, was that.

Lan Wangji didn’t really fit in at the Lotus Pier, but then again, he hadn’t really fit in much at the Cloud Recesses, either. He wasn’t noisy or boisterous the way most of the children there were – he didn’t even say a single word for the first six months, and even then he only broke his silence long enough to call Jiang Cheng an idiot, and he would maintain for the rest of his life that Jiang Cheng deserved it – but luckily it seemed like Jiang Cheng didn’t really fit in all that much either.

Sure, he was noisy and loud sometimes, and he certainly liked chattering, but he wasn’t very good at being spontaneous – he liked things that made sense, that happened in order, and by chance that was also what Lan Wangji liked. Jiang Cheng was sensitive, too, his emotions easily manipulated and often prickly, and that meant he needed to be protected, and Lan Wangji liked that, too: he was used to being the younger brother, but he found he was pretty fond of being an older one.

(He wrote to Lan Xichen every day, and had a visit with him for a week once every season, so that they only missed each other a little bit sometimes, and sometimes not even all that much given the age gap between them.)

When Lan Wangji had finally started really feeling comfortable, about two years in, he noticed that Jiang Cheng’s father was often missing, and the terrifying idea of another father that was always in seclusion panicked Lan Wangji into another bout of mutism for a month or two until Madame Yu finally figured out the problem and explained to him that Jiang Fengmian wasn’t going into seclusion, but rather travelling out and about through the world, looking for something.

She didn’t specify what that something was, and perhaps she should have; it would have made Wei Wuxian’s arrival a little less of a shock to the system.

Don’t get Lan Wangji wrong – he likes Wei Wuxian.

He likes Wei Wuxian an awful lot.

But he’s an outside, a guest, and that meant that he could be upset where Jiang Cheng couldn’t about having his dogs sent away, and that meant he could notice that Wei Wuxian got picked up as often as he liked while Jiang Cheng never was, and that meant he could see the way Jiang Fengmian praised Wei Wuxian for all the things he was good at and never said anything to Jiang Cheng anymore and how it made Jiang Cheng more and more desperate to be better than Wei Wuxian at something, anything, if only it meant that his father would pay attention to him again.

Lan Wangji still had his problems with speaking sometimes, especially when he was upset, and he was a guest. He could notice things, and be upset, but that didn’t mean he could say anything about it.

“You have to tell me what the problem is,” Wei Wuxian told him very seriously. They were all eleven by then; Wei Wuxian had been with them for two years, an endless joy that always drew out Lan Wangji’s previously rare smiles. “Your speaking problem’s been getting worse over the past few months, and they’re even talking about sending you back to Gusu – I don’t want you to have to go!”

Lan Wangji gestured helplessly. Jiang Cheng had been the one to think of learning a sign language to help when Lan Wangji couldn’t find words, all those years ago, and Wei Wuxian had taken to it like a fish to water, but being able to sign didn’t matter if the problem was Lan Wangji not being able to communicate.

It was all much too awkward.

“I promise not to tell anyone without your permission? I’ll believe whatever you say, and I won’t get angry, no matter what!”

That helped, that helped a great deal, but Lan Wangji still couldn’t do it, the words crowding in his mouth and sticking in his throat.

“Why don’t you try writing it all down?” Wei Wuxian suggested. He was always paying attention to Lan Wangji, attentive and trying to find the ways to make him happiest; Jiang Cheng liked to tease them that they’d get married one day when they got older, and honestly Lan Wangji rather liked the idea.

He wrote it all down and gave Wei Wuxian the letter, then signed, “You promised not to get angry.”

“I won’t,” Wei Wuxian promised, and read the letter. He frowned. “Lan Zhan – you don’t really think Uncle Jiang would do this, do you?”

Lan Wangji felt angry tears sting at his eyes. “You promised you’d believe me,” he signed, furious and betrayed, and ran away before Wei Wuxian could respond.

He found one of the old haunts that he and Jiang Cheng used to frequent before Wei Wuxian joined their little group and sulked there for a while, wondering if he could maybe petition Madame Yu to send him into seclusion for a few months – but no, that would only mean he wouldn’t see it happening, instead of actually taking steps to stop it, and they were cultivators, Lan and Jiang; they weren’t allowed to just turn a blind eye like that.

After a while, he went back to his room, and Wei Wuxian was waiting there.

“I believe you,” he blurted out when Lan Wangji stopped at the door, considering a retreat. “Please, Lan Zhan – just come inside and talk to me, okay? I thought it over after you left and – you’re right. Uncle Jiang is like that, and I only didn’t notice because I’m the one he’s being nice to, but you’re right and we can’t let him treat Jiang Cheng like that.”

Lan Wangji stepped inside and quickly shut the door, glaring at Wei Wuxian.

“You’re right,” Wei Wuxian said, nodding. “We can’t let Jiang Cheng know we’re trying to help; he’ll only get embarrassed.”

Lan Wangji’s shoulders relaxed. No one understood him better than Wei Wuxian, not even Jiang Cheng or Jiang Yanli – not even Lan Xichen, on his regular visits, and Lan Xichen knew everything about him.

“Wei Ying,” he said, and stopped there.

Wei Wuxian grinned at him. “Okay,” he said. “I have a few ideas…”

It wasn’t the first time they’d work together to solve something, and it wouldn’t be the last, either.

#mdzs #lan wangji #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #my fic #my fics #brasslizard

[lady-of-the-lotus]

It’s not Wei Wuxian’s fault that A-Yuan thinks he’s a rabbit, or Jiang Cheng’s fault that toddler Jin Ling used to Zidian to short out the city’s power grid, or Xue Yang’s fault that little A-Qing was strapped to his chest during a motorcycle joyride down the highway, but they are stuck going to family counseling, along with a bored Lan Wangji, a giggly Xiao Xingchen, an out-to-lunch Lan Xichen, and an indignant Jin Guangyao. A lonely Nie Huaisang gets in on the action by joining all twenty group chats and sending way too many gifs.

And, all the while, a rebellion is brewing on Wangxian’s block, their neighbors driven mad by the incessant midnight duets.

Poor Dr. Wen Qing, child psychologist and therapist extraordinaire. What has she done to deserve this?

Read On AO3!

Or read below if the spirit so moves you:

There’s a letter nailed to the door when they arrive home.

Wei Wuxian rips the letter from the nail and reads it aloud.

“ ‘We, the undersigned, do hereby declare Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanji to be persona non grata on Cultivator Court for the following reasons: One: Wild animals leaving unspeakable ‘presents’ on our lawns—’ ”

Wei Wuxian looks up. “That would be Lil’ Apple. Do they sell donkey diapers?”

Lan Wangji unlocks the door. “What else?”

“ ‘Two: Gangs of feral rabbits rampaging through our flower beds!’ –They do have a point here. How they keep getting loose I’ll never know. ‘Number Three: Loud duets at midnight. We get it! You’re in love! Get a soundproof basement or shut the hell up!’ ” Wei Wuxian wrinkles his nose. “Who spit in their bean curd?”

“Where do these people meet, and can I join?” asks Jiang Cheng.

* *  * *

One month earlier:

It's all the daycare’s fault, really. And also the gang’s mutual pediatrician for getting involved and setting them up with a family therapist.

And they all know they should be grateful that the authorities are letting them off easy. But—

Weekly family therapy sessions that double as parenting classes? They all already know how to change diapers and hide the matches and make airplane noises.

And none of it’s not any of their faults. More of a…

“Series of misunderstandings,” explains Wei Wuxian to Dr. Wen Qing. “I’m sure when you hear the full story, you’ll laugh too. Right, Lan Zhan?”

“I don’t think she ever laughs,” whispers Xue Yang to Xiao Xingchen, who can’t see Dr. Wen’s impassive face but dissolves into a fit of giggles anyway.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at the two of them and turns to Dr. Wen. “How long is this going to take? My new fashion line launches next week! I don’t have time for this—ow!” He jerks around at A-Yuan, who's gazing up at him innocently. He glares at Wei Wuxian. “Your carrot-brained little son bit me!”

Wei Wuxian scoops his son up onto his lap. “Don’t worry, A- Yuan, Uncle Cheng didn’t mean it—”

“Thumper!” A-Yuan corrects him.

“I’m sorry. Don’t worry, Thumper , Uncle Cheng didn’t mean it.”

“That’s normal,” says Xue Yang. “ ‘Thumper’?”

Xiao Xingchen hushes him.

“I just meant I’d go for a better name,” Xue Yang goes on. “Like Iago or Mushu if we’re picking from annoying cartoon animals. Doesn’t Thumper get shot?”

“You’re thinking of Bambi,” says Meng Yao irritably. He doesn’t look up from his phone as his finger moves in a blur over the screen. He’s missing several important meetings to be here. “He's the one who gets shot.”

A- Yuan’s eyes are huge. “Bambi gets shot?”

“No, Bambi’s mother gets shot,” Xue Yang explains.

A- Yuan bursts into tears.

Lan Wangji shoots Xue Yang a look that’s pure poison.

Dr. Wen clears her throat. “This is perhaps a good example of the dysfunction that—"

“Don’t worry, Thumper’s parents are just fine!” Wei Wuxian tells A- Yuan, squeezing the boy tighter. “Jiang Cheng, show him their pictures on your phone!”

“Do you think I have cartoon rodents as my wallpaper?”

“Google it!”

“Kid’s got to learn about death sometime.” Xue Yang places a lollipop in A-Yuan’s plump little hand. A-Yuan grins at him through his tears. Xue Yang is the kids’ favorite, to the jealousy of everyone but Xiao Xingchen, who is just as beloved. “See? Now he’ll always remember it as something sweet.”

The entire group gives him a Look, save Xiao Xingchen, who’s smiling and nodding.

Sometimes I think he’s deaf as well as blind , Meng Yao texts the others. There are an endless number of group chats, with most created just to complain about the people not on that specific group chat.

WWX : That’s cruel, but...

Jiang Cheng makes an impatient sound. Jin Ling is perched on his knee, slobbering on his custom lotus-patterned purple leather cell phone case. He takes his phone out of the toddler’s mouth and sets him down on the floor. “Can we move this along? Some of us have better things to do.”

“Yes. Thank you, Mr. Jiang.” Dr. Wen glances around the circle of folding chairs. “Now, do we all know why we’re here? Mr. Xue? Would you like to go first?”

Xue Yang stops picking at his chipped black nail polish. “What?”

“Do you know why you’re here, Mr. Xue?”

“I told A-Qing to stop biting people unless they really deserve it, and besides, she’s fully vaccinated, so I don’t see the problem there—”

“Mr. Xiao? Any ideas?”

Xiao Xingchen clears his throat and shuffles his sandaled feet, nervously smoothing the fringe on his oversized tie-dye poncho. “I’m not exactly sure why we’ve been included in a Jiang family therapy session, to be quite honest.”

“Your husband and daughter have been…implicated in some of the group’s…let’s call them mishaps, and as your daughter has adopted A- Yuan’s rabbit fixa—wait a minute, where is your daughter?”

“Xingchen’s got her,” shrugs Xue Yang.

JC - JGY - WWX - Jin Ling’ Uncles

JGY : *That’s* reassuring...

JGY : They make baby leashes for a reason

WWX : Lan Zhan threatened to buy me one the last time we went to the mall. I was lost for a half hour

JC : Are you sure he wasn’t just trying to lose you in the crowd?

WWX : Actually, I think Lan Zhan *did* buy the leash in the end…

*Jiang Cheng has left the chat*

Dr. Wen inclines her head. “Your husband is beside you, Mr. Xue. Your daughter is not.”

Xue Yang cranes his neck around the room. “I’m sure she’s fine, wherever she is. Unrelated question, are all of the valuables around here locked up, or—?”

“Mr. Xue—”

“We’ll know soon enough anyway. Is there an alarm system? No, don’t tell me. I’d rather be surprised. Be right back.” He tucks his phone inside his ripped black jeans and leaves the room, whistling. The clomp of his heavy combat boots disappears down the hall.

“Don’t worry,” says Xiao Xingchen, who seems to have missed a good half of what his husband has said, as usual. “This happens all the time. A-Qing has an excellent sense of direction.”

WWX - JGY - XY - JC - LWJ - Cabbage Patch Kids

JC : What the hell does that mean? The kid’s like 5

WWX : 3, tops

JC : No way she’s 3. She stole my watch last time she played w Jin Ling

LWJ : Are you certain that wasn’t her father?

NHS : XXC would never hahaha 😭 😭 😭

WWX : Huaisang! Whassup!

NHS:

WWX: You change the chat name again? I like it.

JC: Can he take my place here? This whole thing is inane

WWX : "Inane"! So you *have* been using the Word of the Day calendar Lan Zhan bought you!

JC : Shut up

JGY : Like a 5-year-old stealing a watch makes any more sense than a 3-year-old?

WWX : Oh we’re back on that?

NHS : Who stole who’s what now?

LWJ : *whose

JGY : Jiang Cheng was robbed by a toddler.

JC : Don’t you have some corporate espionage to go do or someone’s job to steal or something?

NHS:

JC: Send one more gif and I reach through your phone and strangle you

NHS:

WWX: Did you watch Shrek again without us? That’s A- Yuan’s fav movie

NHS: ur always so busy w lwj n the baby n playing w ur corpses lately!

Dr. Wen sighs. “All right, then. Who would like to go next? Mr. Jiang? How about you? Phones away, everyone, please.”

Jiang Cheng makes a show of being annoyed at having to look up from his phone. “I shouldn’t even be here. This is idiotic.”

WWX - NHS

WWX: Or “inane”

NHS:

“That’s not what the power company report says, Mr. Jiang. Now, I don’t mean to accuse you of anything, but there are concerns—”

“I swear Zidian was depowered when I gave it to Jin Ling to play with,” Jiang Cheng says irritably. “He teethed on that thing for months as a baby. It’s fine.”

WWX -XY - LWJ - JGY - 🧟 🍬 🐇 🤠

JGY: Did Jiang Cheng just tell a mandated reporter that he let Jin Ling teethe on his magic lightning whip?

XY: dammit Im missing all the good stuff!

LWJ: *I’m

NHS:

JGY: You’re wasting my phone’s memory with these ridiculous gifs.

NHS: *inane gifs

XY: Jiggy why don’t you just have your 🍬 🍭 👦👨 buy you a fancy new phone with more memory?

NHS:

WWX: XY did you find A-Qing?

NHS: He lost A-Qing again?

LWJ: …Again?

XY: NHS do you like your tongue where it is or

NHS:

JGY: ?

XY: fingers. whatever.

WWX: I'm lost too

XY: nvm

JGY: That was edifying.

“Now, Mr. Jiang, I don’t mean to insinuate that you let your three-year-old nephew play unsupervised with a dangerous weapon that mistakenly activated and went on to fry the power grid and knock out all power within a five-mile radius for two weeks—”

JGY: Despicable inefficiency

“—or that you took him to a weapons expo, because, I quote ‘He’s going to have to learn to fight eventually anyway’—”

“It was an archery range.”

WWX - LWJ - NHS - Wen Chao Sucks!

WWX: Start ‘em young

NHS: i think it's inane

NHS: WWX? did LWJ smile at that one?

LWJ: No

WWX: He’s laughing on the inside

NHS: how….inane

“Mr. Jiang? Have you any response?”

Jiang Cheng crosses his arms over his chest. Jin Ling is hopping around on the floor with A- Yuan. Obviously not electrocuted, Jiang Cheng thinks, so what’s the problem? “So when my brother blows out the entire neighborhood’s power doing illegal experiments in his garage it’s okay, but I plug a space heater into the same outlet as a toaster and I’m suddenly the devil incarnate?”

NHS - WWX - JGY - Two Bros & A Guy

NHS : Why would you need a space heater in the kitchen? what I do is turn the oven on and that gets the room all hot

WWX : I think you need a new oven

NHS : Are ovens not supposed to do that??

WWX : Do fridges radiate cold?

NHS : I never thought about it that way 🤔

JGY : In the history of the world, nobody ever has.

WWX : Also, all of my illegal experiments are electricity-free.

JGY : …Jin Ling is never spending the night at your house again.

WWX : I said electricity-FREE!

JGY : Because a fridge full of corpses that you and that psychotic hooligan are trying to raise from the dead is so much better.

WWX : A) it’s a top-of-the-line industrial freezer, not a fridge, and B) those corpses were ethically-sourced—locally-sourced, anyway—

NHS : free-range & organic

WWX : zip it Huaisang

NHS : 🐓

Dr. Wen taps her clipboard with her pen. “Mr. Jiang, nobody's accusing you of anything. This is simply—”

“Whatever. What about him?” Jiang Cheng jerks a thumb at Meng Yao. “At least I didn’t set fire to anything.”

Meng Yao straightens up indignantly. “That was an accident!”

Dr. Wen looks like she wants to go home. “According to the fire marshal’s report, it—”

“I’m so terribly sorry I’m late!” A slightly disheveled Lan Xichen appears in the doorway, Xue Yang behind him. “I locked my keys in the car, and was going to call AAA, but then I remembered that we aren’t members—did you know you have to be a member?—plus my phone—”

Xue Yang slaps him on the back. His other hand, gloved as always, is holding A-Qing by the hand. Her oversized pockets clink suspiciously as she runs to go play with A-Yuan and Jin Ling. Today Xue Yang has dressed her in a pink poodle skirt, black boots with frilly socks, and a black T-shirt with the words “Daddy’s Little Delinquent” in pink script, pulling her hair into spiky little pigtails.

“—and the look the bus driver gave me when I tried paying with the $50 I luckily had in my pocket!”

“He’s telling the truth,” Xue Yang says. Over the years, an odd friendship has sprung up between him and Lan Xichen. “He has a stamped bus pass and everything. Look at the poor man. Had to squash in with the hoi poloi. He won’t be over this for weeks.”

Lan Xichen is blinking too much. “And someone on the bus stole my wallet, though I could have sworn I left the bus with it—”

Xue Yang winks at A-Qing, who grins at him and pats the bulging pocket on her frilly pink skirt.

JC - WWX

JC : Why is my lead fashion designer wearing CROCS??

WWX : His house keys must have been on the same keychain. Lan Zhan said he took today off from work

JC : Okay but why are they orange?

WWX : Not everything he owns has to be blue, you know

JC : His contract clearly states at least three out of every four articles of clothing have to be blue!

WWX : Relax, lil bro

JC : He’s the face of our Overly Elaborate Yet Elegantly Simple Eveningwear division!

NHS : Who is?

JC : GET BIRD BRAIN OFF THIS CHAT OR I SWEAR TO ZIDIAN—

NHS : 😿 who just showed up? Xichen?

WWX : Yup he just arrived after a harrowing bus experience

NHS : https://cutt.ly/Mks2dgu ?

JC : Does anyone actually like when people send them links??

NHS : https://cutt.ly/hks21H8

Meng Yao is wearing what Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang call his "customer service smile," a holdover from his dark days in retail. It's the closest he ever gets to showing irritation towards his fiancé. “Why didn’t you Uber over, Xichen?”

“I locked my phone in the car with the keys—”

“It’s fine, Mr. Lan," says Dr. Wen. "Please have a seat. You’re just in time. After all, you were mentioned by name in the fire marshal’s report, along with the somewhat contradictory descriptions of ‘dazed’ and ‘hysterically sobbing,’ which naturally piqued my interest—”

Lan Xichen seats himself beside Meng Yao. He's still looking somewhat frazzled Then again, his main two facial expressions are “gentle smile” and “mild anxious look.” “That was an accident. The fire, I mean. A little mishap.”

“Gentlemen, all of these incidents cannot be mere ‘accidents’—”

“I was meditating and A-Ling wandered in and knocked over the incense burner,” Lan Xichen explains hurriedly. Meng Yao, well-practiced as he is at hiding his emotions, winces slightly. “The window was open, and there was a breeze, and A-Yao just bought these new gauzy curtains that tend to flap about quite a bit—”

XY - JGY - LWJ - JC - NHS - Crossing Us Is A *Great* Idea

XY : And burn quickly

NHS : What am I missing???

XY : Insurance fraud

NHS:

XY : Yes. We’re all complicit now

JGY : Xue Yang, have you heard of a little something called libel?

XY : 🖕 We should go back to building with asbestos like they did in the good old days

JC : We’re all so glad you’re here, Xue Yang

NHS : I need to adopt a kid so I can join your group or something, this sucks, you get to go this secret club every week, jc I see wwx even less than you do

JC : stop talking

XY : What color baby you want, NHS?

JC : What the hell??

XY : That was a joke

NHS: ....

“…and I was so deep in meditation I didn’t notice the flames until the fire department arrived, but A-Ling was fine, just fine, and all the fire fighters were so very nice…”

WWX : Can confirm. Xichen was more traumatized than the kid. The firefighters had to wrap him in like fifty foil blankets

XY : XXC tells me Himbo stayed with you a full week, was that why? my boy didn't tell me

LWJ : “Himbo”? He got 1600 on his SAT.

XY: Term of endearment he knows he’s my boy plus the guy locked his keys and phone in the car for the second time this month

JC : At least he feels remorse over his child endangerment, unlike certain other people I could mention

LWJ : "Child endangerment"?

XY : Tell us again about how Jin Ling used to teethe on Zidian, JC?

NHS:

“Dr. Wen will be pleased to know that my apartment is now fully equipped with a top-of-the-line sprinkler system,” says Meng Yao smoothly. “No more incense, either. This unfortunate incident will never be repeated again.”

XY - WWX - JC - Odd Man Out

XY : At least not until the insurance money runs out

WWX : 😒

XY : Not that he needs it, after landing Himbo

NHS:

WWX: Those jokes really aren't funny

NHS: 😔

JC: Dammit NHS are you in every chat?? Did you change the chat names? Why aren't you showing up on half the participant lists?? Did you hack our phones or what??

NHS: Don’t be so *inane*

Wei Wuxian titters.

“Mr. Wei? Since you seem so eager to speak, perhaps we should move onto your issues, then.”

Wei Wuxian straightens up and points to his chest, the picture of innocence. “Me?”

Dr. Wen smiles thinly. “You, Mr. Wei. Perhaps you can tell us your side of what the school is referring to as ‘The Radish Incident.’ ”

“Well….” Wei Wuxian darts a glance over at Lan Wangji, who is as impassive as ever. “I was just burying him for fun, you know. We like to pretend he’s a radish—“

“A radish?”

“It’s a…you know. A game. I personally like potatoes better, but—”

“Mr. Wei, several parents complained to the school.”

“Because we were hogging the sandbox.”

“Because your son was running around screaming ‘I’m a chubby little radish boy!’ Which in itself would not be cause for concern. But coupled with his troubling behavior the following week—"

XY - JC - JGY - Two Men & A Half

XY : Where did she get these records? Who does she work for, the NSA?

NHS : She’s an astronaut?

JGY : How did you sneak into this chat? And did you rename it?

NHS : 😉

JGY: You're what, an inch taller than me?

XY: someone struck a nerve

JGY: It's just derivative of the other group chat, that's all.

NHS : u said no to "gettin' jiggy w it" i had no other choice. anyway what's happening over there?

JC : I’ll give Dr. W this, that kid is weird.

NHS : who a-yuan?

JC : I’ll give Dr. W this, that kid is weird.

JC : I mean, he’s my nephew, he’s a great kid, that’s not what I’m meant—

XY : *delete delete*

JC : How does your hippie husband put up with you??

JGY : We suspect brainwashing or blackmail.

“—when he decided he was a rabbit or," Dr. Wen continues, "or, as he put it, ‘Daddy’s Huggy Little Bunny Boy.”

“He is Daddy’s Huggy Little Bunn—"

“And only responds to the name ‘Thumper,’ refuses to eat anything other than carrots or food containing carrots, insists on wearing bunny ears—"

XY - NHS

XY : If it’s good enough for Louis Belcher, it’s good enough for Freaky Little Bunny Boy

NHS:

you watch the show too?? I call mingjue “bob” - u know - grumpy mustache guy

XY : I’m sure that’s gone over well

NHS: he’ll learn to love it

XY : A-Qing loves Louis

NHS:

“—hops around instead of walking, and has convinced others of the same…fantasy.”

Everyone glances over at the three children, who are hopping in a circle. A-Yuan has a fluffy little tail on the seat of his pants, carefully sewn on by Lan Wangji. Jin Ling has a handful of cotton balls that had been badly superglued on by an annoyed Jiang Cheng. And A-Qing has a wad of blue cotton candy taped to her frilly pink skirt with a strip of duct tape. As they watch, Jin Ling rips the cotton candy off and stuffs it in his mouth. A-Qing shoves him onto his cottony rear end.

“That’s my girl!” Xue Yang calls.

“Daddy’s proud of you!” Xiao Xingchen adds, though he’s not quite sure what’s going on.

Dr. Wen sighs. “I’m still unclear about how this started. Was it the rabbit incident? Mr. Lan—" She nods her head at Lan Wangji to differentiate between the brothers. Lan Xichen has fallen asleep in his chair, exhausted by his first-ever bus ride. “—I mean, I beg your pardon, Dr. Lan. Perhaps you can fill us in on that? He told his teacher he was attacked by a rabbit monster."

“So he was bitten by one rabbit!” Wei Wuxian says when Lan Wangji just eyes her coldly. “It wasn’t Lan Zhan’s fault. That rabbit was bad news. It had this gleam in its eye—lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes—"

Xiao Xingchen emits a muffled little squeak. Xue Yang looks annoyed. He hates when other people make Xiao Xingchen laugh.

NHS - JC

NHS:

JC: yes yes we all get the Jaws reference

NHS: the last movie we all watched together : /

JC: yes I just said that

NHS: like three months ago

JC: and?

NHS: just saying...

“He was scared of the rabbits after that, and so Lan Zhan told him that rabbits only bite their own, and, well…I mean, we have a hundred rabbits in our backyard. It was either rehoming them and making the news like those crazy cat people, or making A-Yuan feel better.”

A-Yuan hops past, wiggling his cotton tail.

Jiang Cheng rubs his temples.

“All right, Mr. Wei. Thank you. That’s…elucidating. We’ll delve into that in future sessions. Now, perhaps we can discuss the June 7th incident involving you and Mr. Xue?”

Xiao Xingchen starts to laugh again. Xue Yang grins to himself.

LWJ - JC

LWJ : What happened on the 7th?

JC : Am I my brother’s keeper??

“Now, the seventh? I was…hard to remember, all that time ago…” Wei Wuxian taps his chin. "The mists of time and all that."

“It was three weeks ago, Mr. Wei.”

“The seventh….the seventh…was that a Tuesday—?”

“Wen Chao had it coming,” said Xue Yang. Smirking, he twirls his ponytail around a finger. His ponytail is long and sleek and sprouts from the top of his head like an 80s schoolgirl's. “Amiright, ‘Mr. Wei’?”

Wei Wuxian coughs. “You mean the Wen Chao who lives on Qishan Road? That Wen Chao?”

“That spoiled rich kid?” Jiang Cheng asks. (“As if you’re one to talk,” says Xue Yang.) “With the oversized Humvee and tractor-sized tires with spinning rims? Zipping down the street at all hours and blasting his music? I went to college with him. He used to leave double-deckers in the bathroom at frat parties.”

Dr. Wen swallows a long-suffering sigh. “Thank you, Mr. Jiang. I’m sure that information will prove most helpful in evaluating your brother’s case. Mr. Wei, your arrest, combined with the Huggy Little Bunny Boy Incident, does not fill me with confidence.”

“Not arrested—"

“Taken for questioning,” Xue Yang agrees. “By the neighborhood watch. Golf dads and wine moms. Very different from 'arrested.' "

"And you should know," says Meng Yao.

JC - JGY

NHS : What’s going on? What am I missing????

JGY: Did you just make a new group chat? Your name isn't showing up. This is disconcerting.

NHS: don’t worry about it

JC : We’re talking about Wen Chao

NHS : overcompensating humvee ex-frat boy with the hair gel? vomit in the jacuzzi and streak across the field at the big game wen chao? ur babysitter's cousin?

JC : The very idiot

NHS : He has nice sunglasses

JC : For a Russian mobster

NHS : Says the guy who owns a purple zebra striped jacket

JC : Says the guy with more bird-themed shirts than Winston Bishop

JGY : Touche.

NHS : i didn’t know u watch New Girl 2! we must talk l8tr shorturl.at/vDI26

JGY : Your abbreviations are marginally shorter than the actual words.

NHS :

JC : Cleaning bird cages does take up most of one’s afternoon

NHS : see, u get it

JC : Dr. Wen isn’t buying whatever WWX is selling here.

JGY : Wen Chao is related to Dr. Wen. If WWX had any more sense than a chipmunk, he’d realize that. No matter how much you hate someone, family is family...

“Wen Chao was a public menace,” says Wei Wuxian self-righteously. “He deserved what he got. Speeding down the street all the time. Think of the children!”

LWJ - WWX

LWJ: Why is this my first time hearing about this?

WWX: You’ve heard me complain about WC a million times. I even named a group chat after him!

LWJ: Wei Ying.

WWX: You were off visiting your uncle with A-Yuan ! You left me unsupervised! I am not to be blamed!!!

LWJ: We’ll discuss this later

WWX: 😓

“Perhaps the better question is where you got all those fish,” says Dr. Wen.

Everyone turns to look at Xue Yang.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he grins.

Xiao Xingchen chuckles.

“Five hundred dollars in damages, Mr. Xue. Raw fish juice is difficult to get out of faux tiger fur upholstery, I understand.”

Xue Yang flaps his hand. “His father can afford it.”

“That is not the—" Dr. Wen stops, perhaps realizing that an argument with Xue Yang means forfeiting a chunk of her sanity. “Moving on, Mr. Xue, can you explain this picture you posted on social media?”

“That picture’s an old one. A-Qing’s just a baby.”

“Mr. Xue, given the recent threats you made towards A-Qing’s daycare teacher for putting her in a time-out for stealing her classmate’s graham crackers and apple juice, this is relevant.”

“Posting that to the public account was a mistake, if that’s your concern. My Insta for A-Qing is private, but I was in a candy store and got kind of distracted by the new sugar-frosted fruity explosion jaw-busting mega bombs—"

“You fail to understand the issue, Mr. Xue. What’s that in her mouth?”

“Fingers. Or is that a toe?”

Xiao Xingchen laughs.

“They weren't real,” says Xue Yang.

WWX - JC

WWX:

JC: Great more gifs

“I think I have one with the Halloween store tags still on—" Xue Yang scrolls through the hundreds of photos of A-Qing filling his phone. “Should be one in here somewhere—oh, look, Xingchen, these are from your birthday party; I tell you, Amazo the Magnificent had no sense of humor at all; you’d think nobody had ever replaced his rabbit with a porcupine before-"

Jin Ling hops by. “Rabbit!” he cheers.

Jiang Cheng groans.

“There is blood on the fingers, Mr. Xue.”

Xue Yang gives a breezy laugh. “Paint. The springy plastic is perfect for teething. You just put it in the freezer for a few hours—real fingers wouldn’t work; they’d freeze solid, which makes good ice packs for those hard-to-reach places, sure, but as far as teething goes—”

Dr. Wen holds up a hand. “Thank you, Mr. Xue. That’s enough. My next question is about this speeding ticket, which you received while your daughter was strapped to your chest.”

“She was wearing a helmet!”

“You were driving a motorcycle down the highway, Mr. Xue.”

Xue Yang glances hurriedly at Xiao Xingchen, who’s frowning. “These were two separate incidents—"

“Mr. Xue, I don’t think that that makes it much better—"

“Ouch!” Meng Yao shoots to his feet. “He bit me! Your son bit me!”

Wei Wuxian scoops up A- Yuan, who's looking very satisfied with himself. “You shouldn’t have worn a carrot-orange shirt, then.”

“It’s not orange, it’s beige—"

“Maybe he was aiming for Xichen’s crocs and missed,” Xue Yang suggests.

Meng Yao pats his pockets. “Where’s my phone?”

Xue Yang winks at A-Qing, whose already-stuffed pocket is bulging further. Xue Yang likes dressing her in disarmingly cute dresses and skirts with huge pockets, the better to hide her loot. She grins and twirls a pigtail like Xue Yang twirls his ponytail and skips off with Jin Ling and A- Yuan.

Meng Yao is wearing the fixed smile of a Starbucks barista whose customer just asked to speak to the manager. Never a good sign. “Could somebody be so kind as to call my phone?”

Wei Wuxian makes a show of dialing. No one else moves. Lan Xichen mumbles something to himself in his sleep, chin sunk deep in his chest.

“Sorry, Jiggy,” says Wei Wuxian. “Maybe you left your phone at home?”

“You all saw me using it not a minute ago, and kindly stop calling me Jiggy—"

“A-Yao?”

Meng Yao’s customer service smile slips. “Just stop talking for five seconds, that’s all I ask—"

Dr. Wen shakes her head. At this point she seems more bored than anything else. “Moving along, Mr. Xiao, this is perhaps inconsequential when held up beside your husband’s joyrides with A-Qing—"

“Not a joyride,” Xue Yang interrupts. “That motorcycle is registered in my name. Well, a name—"

“—but A-Qing’s teacher has told me that she witnessed you allowing A-Qing to take candy from strangers.”

“The lady seemed nice,” says Xiao Xingchen, folding his hands placidly in his lap. “She had peppermints.”

Xue Yang sighs fondly.

JC - WWX

NHS: thnx for calling me WWX. reception could be better but this is better than anything on tv. literally candy from strangers?

JC: Dear heaven HE’S back. Just text a chat you're actually on!

NHS: ‘Dear heaven’?

JC: This is inane!

WWX: …not bad

Xiao Xingchen smiles. “She smelled like snickerdoodles and lavender.”

Dr. Wen sighs. “Mr. Xiao—"

“I’ll talk to him later, doctor,” says Xue Yang, patting Xiao Xingchen’s arm reassuringly. “Anything else? What did Mr. Beige do?” He grins at Meng Yao, who’s still looking for his phone.

“Mr. Meng, aside for the fire, which we’ve established is not your fault—though, fiance or not, you should be a bit more judicious in your choice of babysitters—"

Lan Wangji shoots Dr. Wen a look that almost melts the metal clip on her clipboard.

She absorbs it without so much as an eyebrow twitch. “—there is the Treehouse Incident, though I don’t believe the collapse of your nephew’s treehouse was your fault.”

JC - WWX - LWJ - We’re All Cool Here We Promise

NHS : i hear he bought the biggest fanciest one he could then set it up himself and then it fell down at the first storm. if that’s not a metaphor for his life I don’t know what is

JC : That wasn’t funny, someone could have gotten hurt

WWX : it was kind of funny

NHS : it was very funny

LWJ : "Hurt" like a baby at a weapons expo?

NHS : LWJ IN DA HOUSE!

JC : It was an ARCHERY RANGE

LWJ:

NHS: LWJ USED A GIF IM DEAD LMAO—

LWJ: *I’m

“We are suing the playhouse company,” says Meng Yao. “Right, Xichen?”

“Hm?” Lan Xichen sits up with a jerk. “I beg your pardon?”

Meng Yao gives him a patient smile and turns back to Dr. Wen. “As you can see, we have the situation well in hand.”

Lan Xichen has no idea what he’s talking about but nods along anyway. “Of course we do. In fact—" He whips out a recorder and starts playing “Wonderwall.”

“That was…lovely,” says Dr. Wen once he finishes. “Don’t do it again. Now, moving on to the County Fair Incident—"

“Which was an accident!”

“One more interruption, Mr. Wei, and you will be asked to return for solo counseling."

JC - LWJ - XY - NHS - Lan Wangji Pls Stop Vetoing All My Best Chat Names Thnx

NHS : Make him stand in the corner! LWJ, does that ever work at home?

XY : I think he uses *stronger* methods 😏

*Lan Wangji has left the chat*

JC : Xue Yang shut up I will end you that’s my brother

XY : End me with your sparkly little whip? 👀

JC : Your husband’s sitting right next to you you little freak. Allo people are so fricking annoying!

NHS : hey!

JC: I call it as I see it

NHS: your one to talk 😒

*Lan Wangji has joined the chat*

LWJ : *You're

*Lan Wangji has left the chat*

XY : How old were you when you lost your sense of humor, Grape Boy?

JC : “Grape Boy” is that the best you can do?

XY : there are children present

NHS : 🤭 🤭 🤭

JC : Same way there are children present while barreling down the highway at 80 mph on a motorcycle?

NHS:

XY : The state troopers blew that way out of proportion

Dr. Wen taps her clipboard. “Stealing livestock violates Section 2 of the Farm and Livestock Act—”

“No harm no foul,” shrugs Xue Yang. “And Xiao Xingchen gave all the trampled people candy afterward, so we’re all square. Well, snacks, anyway."

“Good snacks,” Xiao Xingchen adds. “Carob-covered rice cakes and trail mix.”

NHS: 🤢

“You can’t just hand out nuts children who might have an allergy—"

“There were also boxes of raisins. Full-size.”

Dr. Wen struggles to keep from rolling her eyes. Jiang Cheng rolls his hard enough for the both of them.

JC - NHS

NHS:

JC: wtf is that get that off my screen

“According to the police report, all three of your children broke into the paddock, released the donkey, and rode him down the main promenade, scattering fairgoers in their wake. I have the video.” Dr. Wen holds up her phone. Loud screams and merry-go-round music blast from her phone. “Mr. Xue? Anything to say?”

“That guy was barely trampled,” says Xue Yang. “Also, I had nothing to do with opening the paddock, whose latch sticks (just by the way), or helping the kids up onto the donkey, so—"

“This was found at the scene.” She holds up black leather necklace with a single red bead. "Look familiar, Mr. Xue?”

Xue Yang touches his bare throat. “I’ve been framed.”

“And this.” She holds up a flute and glances over at Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian darts a quick glance over at Lan Wangji, who does not look amused. Then again, he never does. “Since when was I even a suspect—?"

“Since you left your flute there like an idiot,” says Jiang Cheng.

“Lil’ Apple’s paddock was too small! I had to do something."

“Gentlemen—"

The cuckoo clock on the wall goes off, waking up Lan Xichen, who’s drifted off again. He whips out his recorder again but Meng Yao lays a gently restraining hand on his wrist.

Dr. Wen rises. “We will continue this next week. In the meantime, I have some worksheets—"

JC - NHS

JC : Kill me now

NHS : i wouldnt tempt LWJ if i were u…

JC : not like I take up any of WWX’s precious time anyway anymore. LWJ goes out of town and WWX teams up with that nutcase ex-juvenile delinquent of all people to vandalize WC’s car?? In college we stole WC's team's stupid tortoise mascot together

NHS : …..i'll call u later

JC : Please don’t

NHS :

NHS: u can come over on ur own to watch a movie or smthing u know

NHS: ur new line launched already so ur not so busy now right?

NHS: u can bring jin ling along as a chaperone if u want

NHS: hello?

NHS: that was a joke…

JC: okay but no more romcoms

NHS: u brought mama mia over last time not me

JC: I grabbed the wrong dvd

NHS: …..🤐

JC: 🖕

NHS: 😏 see u soon

* * * *

One month later:

“Best session yet!” says Wei Wuxian as they pull up to his house in Jiang Cheng's sleek purple Jaguar. “I mean, Dr. Wen wasn’t thrilled about the whole ‘our kids visited Nie Huaisang’s bird sanctuary and now think they’re skvaders’ thing, but all in all—"

“Just get out of the car.” Jiang Cheng gives him a little shove. They’d all been busy this past month, and had only seen Nie Huaisang once, but that had been enough to convince the kids that they’re hybrid bunny-birds. “I’ll wait outside while you go and get Jin Ling—" He stops. A letter is nailed to the front door.

“Is someone starting another Protestant reformation?” Wei Wuxian jokes. He grins at Lan Wangji, who raises his eyebrow slightly. Excellent. So he found the joke as funny as he did, though going by the way he eyes the nail he’s not thrilled about what just happened to the door’s glossy blue paint.

Wei Wuxian rips the letter from the nail and starts to read aloud. “ ‘We, the undersigned, do hereby declare Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanji to be persona non grata on Cultivator Court for the following reasons: One: Wild animals leaving unspeakable “presents” on our lawns—’ ”

Wei Wuxian looks up. “That would be Lil’ Apple. Do they sell donkey diapers?”

LWJ unlocks the door. “What else?”

“ ‘Two: Gangs of feral rabbits rampaging through our flower beds!’ –They do have a point here. How they keep getting loose I’ll never know. ‘Number Three: Loud duets at midnight. We get it! You’re in love! Get a soundproof basement or shut the hell up!’ ” Wei Wuxian wrinkles his nose. “Who spit in their bean curd?”

“Where do these people meet, and can I join?” asks Jiang Cheng.

Wei Wuxian slings an arm around his shoulders, the first time in weeks. Jiang Cheng hasn’t seen much of his brother outside of the counseling sessions. “Dr. Wen says that kind of negativity is toxic.”

Jiang Cheng grunts, but lets Wei Wuxian keep his arm on his shoulder. “I’ll show you toxic—”

The babysitter is sitting under the table with Jin Ling and A-Yuan when they enter the house, building a miniature cenotaph made out of blocks.

“The kids okay, Wen Ning?” Wei Wuxian asks him.

Wen Ning peers out from between two chairs. “We were under siege for a couple of hours. Pitchforks and torches, same old thing. But we turned out the lights and stayed away from the windows and made s’mores.”

“So that’s what happened to all the plastic lawn flamingos. Trampled by angry villagers."

Jiang Cheng pinches his temples. “I told you adopting an incontinent donkey was a bad idea. At least keep his paddock locked.”

“We don’t have to tell your sister about this, do we, Wen Ning? …Good. What did the mob look like? Did you catch any names?”

“They were led by a fat man with a goatee and a skinny old guy with beady eyes and a moustache like two long droopy rat tails." Wen Ning crawls out from under the table. “The skinny guy was wearing bright red and blue and purple clothes and the fat guy had a bullhorn. And my cousin Wen Chao was in back yelling something about the rising cost of dry cleaning in this day and age, I think?”

“Yao and Ouyang.” Wei Wuxian makes a face. “Power couple from hell, and I should know. I’ve been there.”

“Are they those nosy neighbors you’re always complaining about?” asks Jiang Cheng.

“They’ve been after us from day one!”

“Well, having that fierce corpse of yours key their car didn’t help.”

“That was an accident.”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“You know, Nie Huaisang has been texting me about this house for sale next door to him,” says Wei Wuxian thoughtfully. “Lan Zhan, maybe we should check it out?”

Jiang Cheng picks up Jin Ling and pats him gently on the back. “You’re just going to have the same problem with the angry villagers, just across town.”

“No, it’s a big corner lot. I’ve seen it. Looks like the Addams Family lives there. Comes with its own little graveyard and everything. Huaisang’s family owns it, and they’ve been trying to unload it for months, but everyone thinks it’s haunted just because of that time I brought those fierce corpses with me on a visit and they got loose—but that’s neither here nor there. It’s perfect!”

Lan Wangji nods.

“Whatever.” Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. “Let’s get going, A-Ling.”

Once he’s strapped Jin Ling into his car seat, he takes out his phone.

JC - NHS

JC : Your plan worked

Nie Huaisang:

???

Jiang Cheng: yeah. Thanks for riling them up behind my brother’s back all month. Class move. Direct and straightforward

NHS:

NHS: not that they needed much inciting. wwx blowing up the garage was the last straw

JC : was still weirdly convoluted for no reason

JC : Not sure why you had to get me involved either

NHS: says the guy who lives 20 blocks away but still volunteered to file the noise complaint because, i quote, “the duets *R* annoying”

JC : well you can’t file a complaint about them stopping mid-conversation with you to gaze soulfully into each others’ eyes for ten minutes

NHS : *snort*

JC : If you miss WWX so much 🙄 why didn’t you just tell him straight out instead of pulling this shtick?

NHS:

NHS : there’s another house available down the street just fyi…

NHS: my big fat greek wedding sat night? u bring the dvd n i’ll get the pizza

Shaking his head, but smiling to himself, Jiang Cheng starts the car.

#wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #mdzsnet #nie huaisang #xue yang #lan xichen #wen qing #wen ning #xiao xingchen #xuexiao #xiyao #wangxian #a-qing #jin ling #lan sizhui #jin guangyao #meng yao #lan zhan #cql #mdzs #the untamed #the untamed fanfic #the untamed crack

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 14 - watching notes

Little note on the last ep: I love how everyone finds wwx in his inner robe absolutely 🔥🔥🔥 I mean, I agree! but it's just one less layer! It's still covering his entire body! 😂 but still, it's somehow the hottest shit any of us have ever seen :D

So, off to ep 14 *bangs head to opening melody*

He put the headband back on because he fears that lwj is nervous without it 🥺🥺🥺

How can they be so soft with each other???

And lwj's almost-smile :')

Can't write much about the arrow picking except that I honestly love how this scene is shot. The lightening, the music, the sound of them working. It all works brilliantly to build up the tension

Wait? Was that weird lightening that lwj shot into wwx head something to let them communicate by thought? The potential! 😲 My mind immediately went to thought-sharing-smut fix but then I remembered that there might even be hope for that in canon!! 😱 (or at least, some version of canon)

That's vaguely disgusting (The inside of the shell, I mean)

I'm surprised the turtle doesn't notice that there is someone walking around inside her shell

So wait ... what? There is a sword there which traps the turtle. Meaning, someone has been there before and maybe purposefully trapped it there, meaning this whole excursion was completely unnecessary. They could have just left it there and it would never have bothered anyone outside that cave. Then again, Wen chao doesn't strik me as someone to think such things through ...

Quickly, Wei Wuxian! Stab the diary with its tooth! ... wait, wrong fandom

Maybe it's not though ... there's very horcrux-like black goo coming out of the sword 😳

Tf is happening to wwx? He's hurting 🥺

Now he's... not. And he's somehow controlling the black mist and the swords ... I'm confused. Is this where the "demonic cultivation" comes in

Worried lwj is my new favourite thing on this show

Why is there random fighting in the throne room of the wen sect???

Wwx looks mildly traumatised :(

Oh wow ... I'm continuously in awe of the music choices. During this talk, you can hear the main theme (wangxian's theme, I think) in the background. But for the first time, it's played on deep, melancholic cellos. That alone gave me chills! Just, endless kudos to whoever was in charge of the soundtrack for this show!

Apparently, worried lwj is also wwx's favourite thing :')

Seriously wwx!!! He is helping you and NOW you decide to throw the "boring" back at him??

Are these two idiots allergic against genuine, heartfelt moments???

Oh god, no I take it back immediately!!!!

"Can you sing a song for me?" 😭

Hughn ... you don't understand!

There's NO trope I love more than one part of a couple singing to the other (maybe it's because that's how I like to show love. Sorry, tmi)

I'm weak guys ... 😭😭😭

He's doing it .... OMG HE'S DOING IT! and his voice is so nice and deep and ...

Okay ...line break ... I'm actually crying. I legitimately have tears running down my face

I just watched this sequence three times and I couldn't type while I watched because I COULDN'T MISS THIS!

Also I'm crying. It was hard to see anything

Just ...

...

THEY DID THAT

They did a straight up compilation of their love so far

And the song! THE SONG!! THE SONG!!!

I had suspected so before, but it's actually their love theme

And ... hugh ... lan wangji sang it ... for wei Wuxian

Apart from how f*cking meta that is, that's just... the most romantic thing you can do for mesomeone (have I mentioned that I'm weak for this ...)

And and and the compilation ...

They really know how to play a fandom, right? Like, they know

I'm speechless...

Just the fact that they do this and then they have to pretend that nope, this is completely straight, nothing to see here is absolutely bewildering to me

Hugh ... I need to calm down... I'll watch it a third time

The lantern scene was there, tooooooo!!! 😭😭😭

No, no I'm concentrating again

"What's the name of the song?" What's the name??? What is it?

(If you know, please don't tell me! I just ask these questions to get my feelings out, not because I genuinely want to know spoilers ;))

They got out. I'm almost sad. With how things were going, a few hours more in that cave and they probably would have straight up cuddled :D

Jiang Cheng allows himself to show 1, ONE second of genuin concern for his brother, before he starts acting all tough again 🤦‍♀️ *sigh*

Noooo, why did lan wanji leave??? :(

Okay, that's a good reason

Yay! They finally decided to do something about the Wen clan :D

God I love Lotus Cove :)

Again, this reminds me so much of lotr and particularly the elves. The way the camera pulled from a light background to wwx, just waking up in bed after being injured ... the only thing missing was Elrond's head floating above him :D

Woahwoahwoah, hold a second. I had to go back and pause ... is that two men kissing on the bed frame??? Is this the show's way of telling us "yes they kissed, no we couldn't show you. Here, have some heavy-handed subtext so you won't miss it"

It's senior sister :,)

And even Jiang Cheng is caring eith him, bringing him soup ... I have feelings!

And now the whole family is here *sniff*

Okay ... f*ck. I see. Jiang Cheng did so mich, wwx even tries to pull attention to it and their father/uncle still only pays attention to wwx :/

Argh, I forgot that there's still one more member to this family 🤦‍♀️

Oh f*ck her!

Just ... ugh ... that's all I'm saying about that

wwx and jiang Cheng! 😭 - they're both such emotionally constipated idiots (especially jc), but this heart to heart felt so real, you know? Like it could happen between any two brothers in their situation :')

And honestly, it's so tragic. Both of them are definitely NOT at fault for their situation, yet it always hangs over their relationship. I hate it when,in a story, the parents' baggage is transferred to their children, mostly because that's sadly how it goes most of the time

Episode finished... Going back to the song part, so I feel good again :D

These past two episodes where ... hagh ... heaven for my hurt/comfort-loving heart 🥰

And in general, I think, this one was my favourite so far!

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony (please excuse my typos, btw. I'm sure there are many) 😅

#sophie watches the untamed #the untamed #the untamed episode 14 #lan wanji #lwj #wei wuxain #wwx #wangxian #jiang cheng

[odissey061]

Kinktober, day 6

Fandom: Mo Dao Zu Shi (the Grandmaster of demoniac cultivation)

(I have deleted some fic from my calendar: Charles x reader (Sleepy sex), Asmodeus x reader (body swap) and the juniors threesome. Sorry, but I'm really busy and I can't write what I want)

Jin Zixuan x Jiang Yanli: Lactation kink

Dear Shijie,

Do you remember many years ago when I went back to Lotus Pear after the fight with the pea- I mean, with Jin Zixuan? Back then I asked how you could have understood that you were in love with him and you answered that, when the day would have come, I would have understood it by myself. I think the day has come.

Tears of joy rolled down Jiang Yanli’s eyes and she placed the paper on her heart. Finally her A-Xian had found someone to love after many years of suffering and pain. She was awaiting that moment since she found happiness with her husband! There couldn’t be a notice that could make her happier.

He’s Lan Zhan and, God, I really love him. I really wonder how could I live so many years without realizing it. I’d really like to invite you and your family to Gusu, but right now Lan Zhan and me are in a hectic love escape from Lan Wanji’s uncle. After the whole Meng Yao’s matter was finished -by the way, I got a glimpse of your husband and he’s not wounded-, Lan Qiren was going to kidnap Lan Zhan to bring him back to Cloud Recess, so we quickly left the place.

She sighed for the relief when she read that Zixuan was fine. When he left home some weeks ago, he said he had to (unwilling) take care of an important matter. He didn’t explain it further, but she understood that, for the second time in her life, she would have seen her husband against her dear brother. She cried, begging him to don’t go: in the war assault to Burial Mounds, Wei Wuxian died and Jin Zixuan barely survived. She didn’t want to see the same thing repeated after thirteen years, but her husband promised her that he would have anything in his power to prevent it. Then she discovered that her first son, Jin Ling, was kidnapped with other disciples coming from different schools and Meng Yao blamed Wei Ying for this. In the end Meng Yao was the mastermind behind that and many other crimes.

But what was important to her was that the people she loved were safe and sound and that Jin Zixuan and Jin Ling would have been at home soon. For the time they were gone, her belly became bigger and she was awaiting to see their surprised faces when they would have looked at her. 

We already bowed two times and soon we are going to legally be husband and wife. If I had never met him during this life, when I woke up in Mo Xianyu’s body, I wouldn't have known what to do. Probably I would have traveled around the world, without telling anybody my true identity; but since I met him, my life has a meaning and I have finally found a place that I can call home. There are so many things that I need to tell you, for example that Lan Zhan and I are fathers now, but I’d like to tell you these things face to face in front of a cup of tea in the Cloud Recess.

A-Xian.

Finally things went in the correct directions. The peace in Karp tower was interrupted by a joius scream:”Mooom, they are back. Father and A-Ling are back”. Jiang Yanli hastily rose up and she runned towards the cortile. Soon in her sight appeared many figures dressed with yellow robes and ahead were Jin Zixuan and Jing Ling. A-Quing was already running towards them and she jumped at Jin Ling’s feet until he took her in his arms.

"We are back” Jin Zixuan smiled at her and she kissed her when they were in the privacy of their bedroom. “Mhmm? Have you gained weight since I left? I don’t remember you had this bellypot when I left” he asked and she blushed, posing a hand on her stomach. “Well… you see…” she stuttered, but he had already understood everything. “A-Are you pregnant?” he wondered rhetorically with disbelief and she nodded:”Yes, A-Ling and A-A-Quing are going to have another sibling soon”. 

Although it was the third time going through this scene, Jin Zixuan cried nothenless. He posed his hand on Jiang Yanli’s and he whispered with a sweet voice:”I look forward to see you soon. I can promise that you will be really loved”. “I hope it will be a boy as brave as you” she said and the other absolutely refused:”I hope not. Dealing with A-Ling is enough. I want her to be a girl like you”.

That night they celebrated in their own way. Jin Zixuan laid her on the bed as he kissed her slowly. The fingertips trailed over her belly, still don’t completely believing that what's in front of him was true: for the third time he was going to have a child. He still remembers the anxiety when he discovered his wife was pregnant -he actually fainted, but nobody knew this.

“Thank you” he said, the eyes a bit wet from the tears of commotion , “Thank you for everything”. Jiang Yanli tenderly embraced him, kissing him sweetly and the man pressed another kiss for some seconds before showering her with brief kisses barely a breath away from each other. Hugging him with one arm thrown over his shoulders, Jiang Yanli closed the space between their bodies, leaving the tips of their noses touching. Letting out a soft chuckle, they kissed nonstop. 

After a while they became hotter and more passionated, their hands caressed neck and cheek burned at the mutual touch. “I do not want to risk hurting you, not at this late stage, so I’ll be careful” he said, leaning in and kissing her forehead, “I know you won’t” she reassured him. Jin Zixuan's chest was so full of happiness that it almost hurt. How can a heart contain this much love? He tried to find the answer since he married her.

When they took off their clothes, he noticed how swollen her breasts were. He left her two months ago and if her belly was so big, it meant that when he went after Wei Wuxian she was at the third or at the fourth month. He remembered from the last pregnancy that around that time Jiang Yanli’s back hurt for the weight of the breasts full of milk and they were more sensible.

So that night he got an idea. He took a glance at the heavy abdomen and caressed it with his fingers. He kissed a trail down from Jiang Yanli’s slender neck, and passing through prominent collarbones, he soon arrived at the chest. Gliding over the sensitive skin with his thumb, he got to one of the big and puffy buds resting on top of his breasts and he pressed it. 

As his wife started to moan and breathe his name, Jin Zixuan drew near his mouth to the other nipple and started sucking, making Jiang Yanli groan. He played with it using his tongue, encircling and pressing it a couple of times which only made her body shivering until a milky liquid began to fill Jin Zixuan’s mouth. 

With a last, long, and improper sucking sound, Jin Zixuan finally freed Jiang Yanli from his mouth. Giving a last lick, he moved to the other. Sucking once again, Jiang Yanli breathlessly cried out, and reaching with her hand, she intertwined her trembling fingers on Jin Zixuan’s hair. He paused to take a breath and watched her. In her eyes the plea of going forward was clear, but she was too shy to say it. His wife was so cute!

Suddenly, Jiang Yanli felt not only a pressure also between her tights. Without strength to really close the legs she once more gripped tightly Jin Zixuan’s hair, pulling at it as a way to relieve the tension provoked by his knee, which kept rubbing her inner thighs, too much close to her entrance. As he started to finger her, he continued to suck, and with a whimper, Jiang Yanli put her hand over Jin Zixuan's shoulder. 

He gradually increased in speed and the pressure and heat grew along with it, drawing groans from her. She came as soon as he grazed the sensitive bundle of nerves. “H-Husband…” she called him and Jin Zixuan passed one of her legs on his shoulders. 

He started to move, having some difficulties with how big her belly was, careful of going slow to don’t hurt her. He nibbled her chest again and drowned his wife groans in a kiss. When he noticed that their climax was close, his thrust became more erratic, pounding her entrance. Their lips met once again and, breathing the other’s name, they came. 

After the mess was finally cleaned up, the bodies washed and the bedding changed, they laid on the bed again. Jiang Yanli pressed her back on the bed and Jin Zixuan caressed her belly, gazing tenderly and lovingly at the life that was growing inside her. He placed a hand on and he almost cried then he felt a kick. “It just kicked, A-Li, he kicked. Has he recognized me as his father?” he exclaimed excited as a tear of happiness rolled down his eyes, “Yes, it has. This is how it communicates that he wants to see you” Jiang Yanli chuckled.

#Mo dao zu shi #Mo dao zu shi fan fiction #The Untamed #The Untamed writing #The Grandmaster of demoniac cultivation #The Grandmaster of demoniac cultivation writing #Jin Zixuan x Jiang Yanli #Jin Zixuan #Jiang Yanli #Mo dao zu shi smut #The Untamed smut #Kinktober2020works

[theghostisametaphor]

Got up to episode 25 of Untamed and viewing’s been kind of sporadic and piecemeal for the last week or so but let me just make another bullet list because that’s the best way to convey my thoughts apparently.

Wen Chao’s Evil School for Hostages seems so long ago. those were the good times. so many people weren’t dead. also my god he was so bad at his job. let’s uhhhhh drag all the hostages along to a random cave. things got bad? uhhhhh yeah let’s block all the hostages up in the cave and let them die or whatever. i mean, it’s not like we needed them for anything.

Wen Zhuliu was not paid enough. actually i’m not sure if he was paid at all, but whatever it was it wasn’t enough. i don’t think it’s possible to be paid enough to babysit Wen Chao. 

still delighted abt how fanficcy the whole ‘oh no we’re trapped in a cave for several days, there’s nothing for it but to wallow in sexual and emotional tension’ thing with LWJ and WWX was. also i appreciate that the show was like ‘you may feel the need to watch an amv at this point, but don’t worry, we already put one together for you.’ just an entire fucking music video for the two of them smack dab in the middle of the episode.

he sang him a song

killing a tortoise monster together! just fun couple things.

in all seriousness it’s been so - emotional in a way i didn’t expect to see Lan Wanji getting to be The Love Interest and treated as desirable when he’s low verbal/nonverbal pretty much 24/7, and touch averse, ‘i don’t like people touching me when i don’t know them well’ was such a mood, and usually if there is a character like that, the message is that you have to stop being that way in order to have a relationship or be loved. so yeah. important. 

so the family situation at Lotus Pier was - tense. good to know where all the kids got their Issues from.

Madame Yu was such. an asshole. cool whip though. 

so the show just really tried to break my heart into pieces in the aftermath of losing Lotus Pier, huh. Jiang Cheng is my son and he is not allowed to cry like that, it’s not okay! none of them are supposed to be that sad! 

Wei Wuxian sort of managing to hold it together until Jiang Cheng disappears again and then finally starting to lose it. Freaking out over not knowing whether to trust Wen Ning or not, decision-making ability going to shit, visibly being unable to control his emotions, paranoia etc. 

was really painful, but also really good? idk, it’s just really cathartic to see so many nd-coded characters going through Bad Stuff in ways i can relate to and understand. 

poor Jiang Yanli being like ‘WWX, i already have one brother who can’t get out of bed bc he’s melting down so badly, please do not put yourself in the same state because of hyperfocusing on ‘I Can Fix Everything If I Just Read Enough Books And Also Never Sleep Again’.

(yeah i have some feelings about Jiang Cheng maybe being autistic, which i’m kind of nervous about bc it’s not something i’ve seen other people mention like adhd WWX, or autistic LWJ, but. it’s something i keep coming back to).

Wei Wuxian having that moment where he forgets that Cloud Recesses burned and then being like ‘oh i know! i just need to find Lan Zhan, he’ll help me fix this!’ was just - ouch. 

Wen Qing + Wei Wuxian friendship! research pals!

ditto Wen Ning + Wei Wuxian they’re both so good.

i’d been spoiled for the golden core thing beforehand, so i knew what was going on when WWX was like ‘hm, maybe i know how to fix this’, and that just made it more emotional, honestly. i cried a lot. 

Xue Yang cameo! 

i feel so bad for Jiang Yanli, like ‘yes dear sister we will absolutely always stay together and nothing shall come between us’ i say as i knock you out with sleeping powder so i can send you off in a carriage without involving you in this decision At All. 

i know why you do it, Wei Wuxian, but my god. i would develop severe trust issues. 

Jiang Cheng’s face when he gets a golden core back. tears.

i find it incredibly funny how we just take a brief moment to say ‘oh yes, anyway, there was also this entire military campaign going on while the Yunmeng kids were missing from the main plot. it had a cool name. lots of badass weapon waving. would you like to see Lan Wanji looking very attractive while stepping on a Wen flag? of course you would. anyway back to the important stuff.’

have a lot more ground to cover but i’m getting tired and also have some chores to do so just gonna leave this here for now, and finish catching up to 25 in another post.

(when will the rabbits reappear though, i was sort of disappointed that they didn’t show up in their little rabbit headbands to fight the Wen during the Cloud Recesses battle).

#more rambling #a voice echoing from a sewer #the untamed #jamie watches the untamed

[prettyboyhere]

I posted 13,595 times in 2021

53 posts created (0%)

13542 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 255.5 posts.

I added 414 tags in 2021

#fave - 265 posts

#into the void - 40 posts

#the untamed - 24 posts

#tfatws - 23 posts

#reblog - 17 posts

#later - 16 posts

#yes - 12 posts

#love this - 6 posts

#sam wilson - 6 posts

#marvel - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#would love to have a conversation with a chinese queer person because i feel like watch this show and knowing the original source material

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

so. lan wanji TELLS wei wuxian that only family and significant others can touch the one’s Lan headband. that textually establishes boundaries and the adds another layer behind character’s actions. great, love it. i also love the part where in the next scene wanji ties it around wuxian’s hand when they’re in trouble in the Ice Cave. i especially love the part where wuxian takes it to splint wanji’s leg, which is made better by the intense staring competition after wanji saying “you shouldn’t flirt with people carelessly.”

absolutely love it :D

24 notes • Posted 2021-03-07 18:25:28 GMT

#4

I have to many thoughts:

1. I’m absolutely in love that Sam gets to reason with Karli and try unravel the mess in the grey area. I just think he cares so much about the world, and he keeps trying different ways to make it better, and he doesn’t give up on people, even when it seems hopeless. FUCKEN love that.

2. I really thought Zemo would steal the serum, so I’m reeling that he genuinely believes the world is better without the serum. He can’t fix the past, and he absolutely has to pay for what he has done (serve his prison sentence), but I think it’s interesting that the writers want to show that even one of the serum’s biggest propagators believes it should be no more.

3. I speak isiXhosa (the language that the Wakandans speak), so it entertains me to no end when the characters speak it! Like, the Wakandans speak it for rigidly but I can mostly understand it. When Bucky spoke it, I couldn’t even catch what he was saying really without the subtitles. This is a criticism, but a friendly one! Keep putting other languages in shows until they get it right! (Is it widely known that its isiXhosa, or does the rest of the world think it’s a made up language?)

4. Also, I am still losing my mind from the article that they’d tackle Bucky’s bisexuality. Like. They did NOT need to queerbait; I’m queer and I am happily enjoying this buddy comedy that isn’t reliant on romance– my shipping is for fanfics. But if you’re going to SAY you’re going to tackle something just to rack in views, it would be very messed up if you don’t live up to that. But there’s still a couple of episodes, so I’m not too heated yet.

5. Some words for John Walker: TALK SHIT, GET HIT. It was so gratifying to watch him get beat up. AND THEN THE FUCKING SHOT OF THE BLOODY SHIELD. The writer’s room is writing America perfectly.

31 notes • Posted 2021-04-09 10:15:35 GMT

#3

utterly obsessed with the amount of emotion lan wangji shows from episode 33. like before that we got the occasional worried look and tears. but from ep 33? he’s crying while wei wuxian hangs from the mountain. he looks more sad than uninterested in regular settings. his hair was messy as he waited for wuxian to wake up. he’s openly concerned about wuxian. he definitely speaks more. wuxian died and wangji’s brain chemistry changed and i am here for it. thank you to wang yibo (actor) for doing the absolute most

39 notes • Posted 2021-03-10 09:53:33 GMT

#2

wake up guys a new let there be carnage trailer just dropped

8632 notes • Posted 2021-08-02 15:17:20 GMT

#1

the fundamental difference between instagram and tumblr

26398 notes • Posted 2021-05-11 06:17:17 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 12 - watching notes

It's 1 o'clock and the clocks are being set forward tonight, so I'll have one less hour of sleep but fork it, sleep is for the weak. let's go!

"I'm not gonna bring trouble to our family this time" let's see how long it lasts.

Wwx is so concerned for lwj

"You do look pretty" yeah, fork you and back off

Random thought that has jughjng directly to do with the episode but came about because we have all these clan members lwj ed up so neatly here: I understand that the different clans have a proclivity for certain colours. But wwx, though he was raised by the Jiang clan, clearly doesn't adhere to theirs. So my question: why does he wear black and ret all the time? I did read up on chinese colour symbolism,but it didn't really tell me anything with regard to his character. (Then again, maybe it's just so him and lwj looknextra awesome together, with their opposing colour schemes)

Wen Qing is such an interesting character! Her conflicting motives make her straight up unpredictable

Wwx just spending 90% of his one brain cell on worrying about lwj :D

Lwj and that jin guy: *rebellion through silent non-compliance*; Wwx: "let me show you amateurs how it's done" 😎

And I feel like he specifically recited the lan principles as a tribute

This is a way funnier punishment than I was expecting

Except for Lan Zhan because HIS FORKING LEG IS STILL BROKEN!!!

The real magic on the show is that they keep those white robes clean btw

Lan Zhan's expression is killing me right now

Also, he hasn't said a single word yet for the whole episode. While he is always silent and uses as few words as possible, I feel like one could roughly estimate his emotional state by how silent he gets. (Naybe aside from important conversations where his input is actually required because he has crucial information)

judging by that, he's devastated right now and whi could blame him :'(

I feel like wwx is severely underestimating the situation

Or he is just that reckless

Or both. Probably both.

Holy shit, even injured, lwj steps in front of a whip to protect wwx

I just ... I get so emotional over lan wanji's silent protectiveness?!? He literally hasn't said a single word yet, but he stands in front of wwx to protect him like as unyieldingly as a mountain

Holy... shit. This is the only time I can remember wwx being honest to God terrified? I think? I can't remember any other time.

Shiiit what's in there? 🥺

He looks so vulnerable 😥

And ... It's ... the worst prop I've ever seen

Sorry, before I get to the character stuff ... WTF??? anything would have been better then that animatronic D-grade horror movie monster. Seriously! Get a really huge dog and give him a scary make over! Try (probably mediocre) CGI! Literally ANYTHING but this thing

Wwx's actor truly does his best, but this thing is just a huge distraction from the seriousness of the scene. ANYWAY, moving on ...

Wwx's reaction is definitely abover what one would expect. Quite frankly, it shocked me. The sight of the halloween decoration dog turned him from the cocky, confident wwx we all know into a frightened child within less than a second 😥

I'm sorry, I said I'd move on but, the second scene with the $1 haunted house attractiondog isn't any better 🤦‍♀️ they didn't even TRY to make it not look like a doll

Wen Ning! 🥺🥺🥺

He's just so genuinely good!

This is both painful and really satisfying to the side of me that adores hurt comfort fics. Can lwj please come and rescue him? :D (probably not gonna happen with everything he's got on his plate)

And wwx is as devastated as I felt that cloud recess was attacked :,(

(The clock just sprang from 1 to 3 am, btw. Ugh, I hate daylight-saving-time)

Wwx just realised the extent of lwj's injuries and suffering and I had completely forgotten that he just didn't know before!!

He is saving the medicin for Lan Zhan 😭

There he is, our old witty wwx :') (though I have a feeling by now that his attitude is as much a coping mechanism as anything else)

The episode is almost over and lan Zhan has still not said a word, he just looks close to tears the entire time :'(

Why do the clans let this happen? What authority does the Wen clan have???

Lan Zhsn refuses to read the Wen principles out loud. Again, not a single word from him. He just stands there, closed scroll in hand. My heart cannot take this 😥😥😥

So now they're off as canonfotter

Kan Zhan is killing me this episode!! He's limping (for the first time!!!) And he's still just stoically moving on. Someone hug him please! 😫 (or not high him. Somehow I feel he wouldn't appreciate it)

Minute 41 of the ep, Lzn Zhan just uttered his first word

"Let me carry you." 🥺🥺🥺

Please let the next episode start with an "alright" from lwj Please let the next episode start with an "alright" from lwj Please let the next episode start with an "alright" from lwj

Who am I kidding. It probably won't

@sweetlittlevampire ​ @fandom-glazed ​ @allhailthedramallama ​ @luckymoony ​ @elenirlachlagos (thank you guys for all the replies!!)

#the untamed #sophie watches the untamed #the untamed episode 12 #wei wuxian #lan wanji #wwx #lwj #wanxian #wen ning #wen qing #jiang cheng