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charlesemersonwinchesteriii · 2 years

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The way the MASH fandom tends to imagine the ages of the characters is fascinating to me. I keep seeing people referring to various main characters (except Potter and Radar) as “middle-aged”. While to my knowledge we do not have an exact age for any of the characters, I don’t think this assumption can be correct.

While references to character ages within the show are all over the place, in keeping with typically nonsensical MASH continuity, we do have concrete information from the cast on this. Alan Alda stated that Hawkeye is in his late 20s. This would make sense both for him and for BJ, Trapper, and all other assorted surgeons, given where they are in their professional and personal lives. The one exception to this would be Charles, who David Ogden Stiers mentioned was intended to be in his mid-30s, which would in turn make sense for Charles specifically, as he is clearly farther along in a surgeon’s career path than the others, he is the only doctor who has multiple specialties (thoracic and pediatric), and personality-wise he generally acts older than the other Swamp Rats. Real life statistics back this up, as well! The age range of the draft at this time was 18 & 1/2 to 35. (Also, notably, those who served in WWII were exempted from taking part in the Korean War draft, which would be evidence that none of the men in the show besides Potter served in WWII, for what that’s worth.) And that range was heavily weighted toward the lower end. When the show makes a big deal about how young the soldiers they treat are, it’s being absolutely realistic: the average age of a Korean War soldier in 1950 was 19!

The character who most inspired this post, however, I don’t think anyone ever mentioned an age for at any point: Klinger. Almost without exception, I see people talk about Klinger with the assumption that he is the same age as the doctor characters. This has always confused me, because I see no reason that should be true! It makes sense that the doctors would skew quite above the average draftee age of 19 because of the age constraints of their profession, but there is absolutely no reason to assume that same skewing would apply to Klinger, a random enlisted person.

In fact, there are several pieces of evidence in support of the idea of him being younger, perhaps 19-23. While he does call Radar “kid” a few times, implying he is older than him, they are also very close friends and Radar clearly does not treat him with the same “little sibling” attitude that he does Hawkeye & co. (Plus, Radar and Klinger are given equivalent places in the narrative constantly. In just about every other aspect, we are clearly meant to see them as having “equal status”, so why not in regards to age?)

There’s also the whole Laverne thing. The mere fact of his getting married makes him seem older to a modern audience, but we must remember that back in 1950, people tended to marry earlier than today. (Average age of marriage in 1950 was 20 for women, 23 for men.) Klinger says Laverne was his highschool sweetheart, and it’s implied that they’ve been together steadily since then. We know he very much WANTS to get married and have a family. Given the aforementioned cultural norms, if he’s even in his late 20s, it would be weird that he’s not already married before the show starts.

Additionally, there’s his apparent position career-wise, which is: he does not have a career yet! He mentions a lot of summer jobs doing various different things, usually helping a family member’s business, which would make total sense for a college-age kid with no socioeconomic opportunity to actually go to college. Given how hardworking and eager to learn Klinger is (remember his multiple correspondence courses--another age-appropriate similarity with Radar), if he were middle-aged, he would surely already have a good blue-collar union profession. (Again, cultural norms: they had not yet invented the horror of the gig economy in the 50s lol.)

This post is getting way too long, but I do feel quite passionate about this subject, especially with regards to Klinger. The fact that Radar’s age is such a huge part of his character, but Klinger is implicitly treated by the show, and thus seen by the fandom, as much older even though there’s no REASON for that..... It makes me think. Especially given the way youth of color are treated in both reality and fiction. Especially given how despicably the other characters treat him in late seasons, making fun of him for being incompetent and stupid. I know it’s really not that deep! But it just makes me think.

(On a lighter note, I also think it’s useful to keep in mind the canonical age difference between a 32-34 year old Charles and his 26-29 year old roommates. And his age means he NEARLY aged out of draft eligibility, too!)

(”Where does Margaret come into this?” you ask. I’m honestly not sure! I don’t recall any canonical statement of her age either, in-universe or out. It’s important to note, though, that the average age of nurses was definitely higher than that of the male draftees. I couldn’t find data for Korea specifically, but during WWII, the age requirements for the army nurse corps were 21-40, later 21-45. Again, these are medical professionals, so this increased age makes sense. (And the show actually gives us some older nurse characters!) It makes sense for Margaret to be on the higher end of this spectrum, given her high rank and status, but not super high, given that she’s highly skilled and extremely ambitious.)

But beyond individual characters, I wish the age thing were more concrete and acknowledged, just for the sake of the whole tone of the show! I really wish they’d gone out of their way to portray the truth: that aside from the medical professionals, the average age of the enlisted men at the 4077th should be nineteen years old. That all of their patients really are just babies to these doctors (and to the older nurses as well!). It would really help drive home some of the points the series tried so hard to make.

#MASH #MASH meta #Maxwell Q Klinger #Charles Emerson Winchester III #I suppose I needn't tag hashtag long post anymore? We're so advanced these days.#Anyways if I got anything wrong here I'll be soooooo embarrassed but I've wanted to make this post for literally over a year lol so #TL;DR Hawkbeej are literally not middle aged despite the text posts everyone tags them in ghdgksjsdhgkdsk #I think people really get thrown off by the actors' ages! which I totally get but it's so much more interesting and useful to me #to calculate the ages based on this type of circumstantial evidence. I think it can help inform characterization!#also sometimes the cast literally did just tell us how old they are so yeah :P that's not common info at all though so I wanted #to get it out there and talk about it and YEAH. I hope someone reads this now even though it is soooo long RIP QwQ #Starky's Original Posts #IF YOU READ ALL THIS THANK YOU MWAH

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falderaletcetera · 1 month

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feeling inordinately soft at the realisation that at the end of the Father Brown cult ep (really not my favourite), when sid and susie say they've heard that mrs mccarthy stole her strawberry scone recipe and mrs m (quite fairly) takes their scones back and has to chase sid off-screen for his, father brown quietly offers his one to susie.

context is that susie is officially hired by them to clean the presbytery and she has a rough time in this ep, and father brown generally takes any and every opportunity to have sweet things (good for him dot png.)

inordinately soft about it

#this is in fact a necessary moment of loving playfulness after a rather grim ep so I appreciate it #father brown #iroh-coded he's iroh-coded. I'm so normal about this #I was about to say he's less dippy than iroh #but given the ''oops I just took drugs via a cake left out for scandalous guests in a scandalous house. for the second time'' incident #well. bless him.#going from s11 to s1 is weird because I actually have no clue if s11 brenda is hired by them or not #and while I'm Very glad we're not constantly reminded she's a servant it's jarring going back to this #where we are in fact frequently reminded that s1 susie is a servant #mrs mccarthy be nicer challenge #I get that she fulfills a specific role in the story and sort of balances out father brown so it doesn't feel totally improbable but still #anyway. yes I am in fact fine (no I am not) just pausing to have feelings about tiny acts of kindness by fictional characters.#falderal speaks

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fruitsofhell · 9 months

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It's time for me to unleash the inner crazy Metal Sonic lover within myself and talk so so much about this mother fucking fucker Chaos Sonic!!! (image taken off a post by @/littleaipom)

Ok so what I love so much about Sonic Prime is how much mileage it's getting out of the multiverse concept. It's a good multiverse cause it's surprisingly simple compared to the sort of MCU clusterfuck we associate the term with now. It's just Sonic AUS! And I really love that cause to me if anything screams Sonic media, it's AUs and canon divergence and wacky takes. I think this series is great at that, internally and with inspiring that in fans. What also makes it so great in Sonic Prime is that it has so much confidence in that. In the entire show the only normal characters are Sonic and Shadow, everyone else Sonic makes a connection with is a whole new spin on the old cast and its GREAT. I love Nine to death especially, he's definitely one of the best shatterverse characters.

But I think I have a definitive new favorite character now in Chaos Sonic, because he is that fresh new confident take on an old character but with such an underutilized one in Metal Sonic. I adore Metal Sonic, he's my favorite Sonic character and in my opinion the absolute most slept on. Sonic's robot doppelganger should absolutely have as much love as Shadow - his more serious and hardened antihero rival - and Knuckles - the stubborn immovable object to Sonic's steadfast unstoppable force. But he doesn't!! And it's tragic!! There is so much to do with Metal, with the Sonic created by the man who hates him more than anything, one of his first true rivals who was made to be his perfect antithesis, yet we get so little. But atleast in Chaos Sonic we get an awesome fucking take on him!! It's not Metal, but like I said about Sonic Prime as a whole, I LOVE how this show plays with the characters.

I see a lot of people pitting Chaos and Metal Sonic against each other or putting down one when talking about the other, but they're really just amazingly complimentary takes on the same character. The way it would be weird as hell to say either Nine or Tails is the better version of the character or something. Chaos Sonic's personality is of course what stands out the most between him and Metal Sonic, and while for some people it makes him unbearable or insulting to the OG Metal, it's one of the things I love most about him too. It's the complete opposite of what Metal and most robo-doppelgangers in the series, and especially Metal, are known for. Metal Sonic is all of Sonic's deadliness but none of his heart - he is a Sonic stripped of everything that makes him that energetic blue hero and reduced only to his power, speed, and obedience. He's a very cold a serious take on the robo-doppelganger that encapsulates the theme of classic Eggman, which was to do what nature did but better and deadlier. He's a very dehumanizing take on what Sonic is to his enemy, a potential tool like the rest of the animals and natural resources he abuses. Chaos Sonic is less like the (classic) Sonic Eggman wishes he had, but what (modern) Sonic is to him - this annoying, vain chatterbox who still manages to trounce you no matter how little he takes the situation seriously. Metal Sonic feel like a cold and calculated project driven by nothing but Eggman's frustration that something free and alive that he should have control over him still eludes him, and Chaos Sonic like just a project of pure spiteful mockery. Which I think very well represents how the relationship between Sonic and Eggman has changed to pit them more often as equals with their back and forths. And I really love how well both of them use this assignment to bring out these different aspects of Eggman and Sonic's relationship.

I think Chaos Sonic also specifically speaks to the New Yoke universe very well more than just being Sonic but more annoying. He is absolutely annoying and talkative just to mock Sonic, but stuff like his comments about Sonic being "smelly" and how he wants to be a brand star bring to mind really fun ideas about how he's like a commercialized version of Sonic too. I would love if he was integrated into New Yoke and you could see the Egg Council using him as a brand and he just loves it because he's an equally capitalistic jerk. It's a fun twist on Sonic's ego next to the more obvious one, that if Sonic didn't have his convictions he would very easily fall in line with the vanity of Eggman's worldview. Those are the moments that kind of make me wish that normal Metal Sonic had more speaking roles where him being an anti-Sonic in ideology could show. We atleast have the funny projection of him torturing animals from Sonic CD. I do still think that through Metal's sole commitment to beating Sonic and proving himself superior he does an equally good job at being that ideological opponent though, just in a quieter way befitting his era. Chaos Sonic represents Sonic's vanity in a personality sense with his want to be in the spotlight, and Metal Sonic in purely mechanical sense - just wanting to prove nothing but the fact he is better. And that single-mindedness makes him a great foil to Sonic who is a very wild and free-spirited person and never lets his ego and need to be the best define him more than his loyalty to those ideals. Meanwhile Metal Sonic entirely defines himself by his abilities and need to be a specific identity created by others. Something that makes him really damn tragic in a way I wish for the life of me was explore more.

Chaos Sonic doesn't HAVE to be an existential tragic mess... but I mean if they're gonna bring him back, he should have moments of that on top of just being awesome to watch fight and emote. OH MAN I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN INTO HOW EXPRESSIVE HE IS. Once again, something totally different from Metal Sonic that only improves both characters in my eyes. I can't get enough of either of them! Whether it's Metal Sonic's intimidating silence or Chaos Sonic's "teehee giggle ^_^" attitude towards violence, I think both have some great chilling moments to them. Chaos Sonic's voice too is so good, it's probably my favorite voice performance in the show. It just has so much energy, and makes every line sound so genuine no matter how stupid. But at the same time he has good range too! When his voice gets low and serious or angry it's effective (atleast to me)! I mean that guy managed to make "You're too slow!" sound playfully venomous, I love it. With Metal Sonic it's maybe a bit harder to pin down what makes his stoicism work so well. Every character in the classic era was silent to a degree, so it's hard to say his silence stands out. But that's actually I think where I'd say his lack of expressiveness is genius. He manages to mimic the look of Sonic in body and face so much more naturally than any of the other doppelgangers but still in this sleek and blank way that is just amazing. Like I stare in awe at the design of this beast. Classic Sonic is very good at providing character through expressive animation and sprites, and Metal Sonic's lack of any yet ability to still feel like he has the face of a character and not just some robot makes him intimidating.

Which brings me to their overall designs. Metal Sonic is such an enduring Sonic character despite the long list of robo-Sonics because as I was saying before, the design is just too good. It is beyond aesthetically pleasing, straight up gorgeous - which makes him so effective. He truly does feel like Sonic's equal and possibly even superior in mechanics and LOOK, he makes his mechanical and flesh peers look clunky and outdated by comparison. Sonic but polished to an unnaturally perfect finish, with those dead glowing red eyes that house none of his soul. Genius fucking design. I woefully cannot say that I think Chaos Sonic is an equal in that, but it might be physically impossible to make a better Metal Sonic, and he does come damn close! Specifically because he does take the cue of the more natural eyes (every other sonic-robo has some sort of distinctly robotic visor), but still does something new and catching with it in the bike helmet-like screen. It takes everything perfect about that aspect of Metal and builds on it for this version of him, the dark void of blank pixels is replaced with a very beautiful yet icy blue that contrasts the red eyes very well. I've seen many fan designs that use those red eyes for expression, but it is best a choice here than on the original Metal for the reasons I said above. It's so clear how much fun the animators are having with using them to emote without making it feel too natural by giving him a mouth or something. I also really like his chest rocket, it feels a lot more streamlined than Metal's, which helps with how energetic and mobile he is. Metal screams sleekness and speed, but in a very artificial way with how much his rocket takes up his design. Like I said, there's no beating Metal due to the sheer simple brilliance of his design that is totally a product of such a complex concept being perfected in the classic era. In general Sonic Prime tends to make designs a bit more complicated than what would pass as the peak of series design, but they still own in their own right. Chaos Sonic is a great example of this where he is noticeably more busy of a design than Metal but with very clear shapes and colors that make him fit in with the overall series style.

All this praising and blabbering to say. Metal Sonic is the most important thing to me, and Chaos Sonic is also the most important thing to me cause he and Metal just complement each other so fucking good. That's really what a good alternate take on a character should do! Feel fresh but still very flattering to the blueprint, explore different directions the original character could've taken to make you appreciate the execution of those aspects even more. Chaos Sonic is the best example of the show next to Nine. When I think deeper about it some of the other shatterverse versions don't go AS HARD with this, but they all feel like fun takes that do feel like they came from aspects of the original characters. Plus, that's why Nine is the hook, he is a very well developed "what if" for Tails that explores how much of a difference a friendship can make in someone's life. I also just in general really enjoy it when a story says, "Yeah, sometimes people react to issues by being antisocial as easily as they react by being docile when they don't have the space to be sensitive". It's not like... handled explicitly with that much nuance, but the nuance is there in my heart. Also damn, speaking of Nine I didn't even bring up how cool "Eggman (kinda) tricks Tails into making a Metal Sonic using his knowledge of the real Sonic" is. It's epic, and I actually really hope it's more explored, as well as Chaos Sonic in general. I feel like the writers, animators, and VA had way too much fun with him not to bring him back. I would love nothing more as a poor starving Metal Sonic stan-peasant...

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #chaos sonic #sonic prime #sonic prime spoilers #shut the heck up #i love him a normal amount i say foaming at the mouth #this is all over the mf place and i could totally shorten it into a better more focused essay but just aaaa #i need to get this out rn i love him sosososososoosososos much #you all need to understand how underrated metal is and how chaos sonic speaks so much to what we're MISSING #even if he is the opposite of metal in so many ways ge is just such a good fresh take ON him #and i lvoe that sosososo much i want more of both of them #and i want there different functions to be clear too cause id be heartbroken if one replaced the other #tag talking #also i wrote thsi while bouncing on my new exercise ball chair :3

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fulltimehabibti · 1 year

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do you ever have those friends that have like a very anal and inflexible personality like they need to go on 18 dates before making up their mind about getting into a relationship and they're not exactly adventurous...but then one day they meet like the most random person that you didn't even think was their type, fall ass over heels and suddenly they get an entire personality change and becomes the most obnoxiously in love person and marries their new partner like 4 months later and you keep seeing photos of them like sky diving and shit

anyway so alankaipa

#no you guys don't get it this would totally make sense for them as a couple and be the funniest ending #jimwen settling into domesticity and alankaipa being like 'later losers we're going to vegas baby!'#moonlight chicken

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teatitty · 20 days

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Here's the thing: there's a lot of really god theories about where Lettenhove is - from Kerack to Redania to Toussaint. I don't think Lettenhove is a place. Lettenhove is used mainly as a family name by Dandelion and Ferrant and only as a Viscount position when Dandelion is in Toussaint. So my theory is that "Lettenhove" is the family name for a specific bloodline of nobles who are spread around the continent, and Dandelion simply inherited his family's estate in Toussaint which in turn gave him a title. This would also explain how Ferrant can use the name "Lettenhove" despite having no title and yet be the royal instigator for Kerack

So: The Lettenhove's are a family of nobles with ties to multiple courts acoss the continent and have no specific county or land that they belong to. Dandelion was likely raised on a family estate in Toussaint which he inherited at some point in his adult years but doesn't seem to actually care all that much about and Ferrant lives and works in Kerack which means the family probably own some kind of land there too

The only thing we know for certain about Dandelion and Ferrant's family is that they're cousins through the paternal line. My intense headcanon for this is that they're directly related to the royalty of Kerack, since King Belohun is said to have had eight unnamed daughters and two illegitimate unnamed sons. I believe these two sons are Dandelion and Ferrant's fathers but that the Lettenhove name comes from Dandelion's mother, who herself has ties to Toussaint [this does not necessarily mean she was born there simply that she has sway over there]

As an illegitimate heir, Ferrant could not use the name of Belohun's lineage and so took on the moniker of Lettenhove instead and worked his way into the position of royal instigator to bring honour and respect back to his father without drawing attention to the covered affair [I also think, given that incest isn't unheard of among nobles in the witcherverse and irl, that Ferrant's mother is one of the unnamed daughters and also an illegitimate heir. But we're not here to talk about my made up political drama and family scandals lol]

#the witcher books #dandelion #ferrant de lettenhove #meta post #long post #I mean it's not *that* long but juuuuust to be safe #anyway yeah I have many thoughts about dandelion's family based on the very bare bones knowledge we're given about them #which is: he's a viscount in toussaint. ferrant is his cousin. he does not get along with his mother #a total of three facts and you can do So Fucking Much With Them #I'm not here to bore you with all that though so I'll stop here uwu

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dent-de-leon · 1 month

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Remembering how Taliesin was kinda crushed about losing the whole circus so early on because he was kinda hoping Matt would let them keep it as a kind of traveling home base. Just, the thought of what the Nein joining their little traveling circus would look like.

Mollymauk not having to leave home, having the comfort and safety of that familiarity. Getting to continue to explore all of Exandria while never having to leave the family that raised him. Molly sitting beside Toya, singing old folksongs under the Moonweaver's guiding light. Working on some secret routine for when they roll into the next town, some exciting and extravagant performance he's managed to rope Yasha into. Giving his pitch and passing out flyers at the next tavern, inviting everyone to come see a show they'll never forget.

Yasha feeling a little more comfortable traveling with the Nein at first--because she's already grown so fond of Molly and their little circus family, has come to love the sight of returning home to the big top towering in the distance, the parade of caravans and brilliant lights. Molly always waiting for her, shuffling his deck with deft hands and his charming smile, offering her up a card that foretells a future full of joy and love.

The day when Yasha finally acquires her bone harp, tentatively strums at its strings for the very first time. Plays a soft, mournful song that's wonderfully bittersweet. Desmond gently encouraging her, playing along on his enchanted violin. Molly humming softly beside them, tail swinging happily.

Caleb and Nott eventually working on their own little routine--but only once they leave big cities far behind, in the safety of farmlands and sleepy little towns on the outskirts of the Empire. Places where the wizard can finally stop ducking his head and looking over his shoulder. "Nothing with fire," Caleb insists in a hushed, grave whisper, so they leave the pyrotechnics to Orna.

But Molly truly believes he's a Magician of some sort, which makes him smile wanly. Magicians are for fairytales and easily fooled townsfolk; charismatic conmen with cheap tricks and sleight of hand. Never any real magic. And yet, Mollymauk is still dazzled by a cantrip as simple as Dancing Lights, insists that in itself is fantastical--beautiful.

As terrified as Caleb is of the spotlight, he's happy to perform a parlor trick or two if it means spare coin for his books. And if Nott darts about the audience and pockets a little extra gold here and there while the Magician has their audience utterly captivated, well--that's just a bonus.

Jester performs too, because of course she does--she's Jester. And Molly finds it's hard to really deny her anything. Her magic is colorful, charming, playful. Conjured butterflies and miniature unicorns, exaggerated displays always sparkling and bright. She and her fae friend compliment each other well. She's the kind of person who can make just about anyone smile.

Fjord volunteers as stagehand when they could use the extra help, just wanting to lend a hand and make a good impression. And he can't help trying to wheedle a little bit of information out of the other performers when the chance arrises, all too curious about the mysterious blood hunter he often bunks with. Whenever he does, Beau is inevitably not far behind him, journal in hand as she demands answers. "Those swords--are they really magic? Where the hell did he find them?" "How long has Molly been in the circus? Did he ever visit home?" "Any family? Any chance their blood is like his--"

#remember when taliesin genuinely hoped at the beginning matt would let him keep the circus by some chance and the nein would #get to have their own little home base?? like their new keep but it's a silly little traveling carnival?? cause I just love the whole #concept of that it's so cute and fun. just the whimsy and magic of it all--#yes we're an adventuring party who go on perilous quests. yes we are also still in the circus and the show starts at 9 we'll totally be #back from manticore slaying by then--#its just so sweet to imagine them all in the carnival together ; ;

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softquietsteadylove · 4 days

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Hello birdie 🖤✨

I've got something for the Life Interrupted AU.

Thena isn't feeling well lately and is considering to go back into this hellhole where she's getting drugged to unconsciousness. She's packing her stuff when Gil shows up. He's trying to talk it out of her.

(And I definitely didn't had this Idea because I'm stuck in one of those hellholes, lol)

✨🖤Hugs an Love🖤✨

"Going somewhere?"

Thena sighed, setting down one of her shirts and staring down at her bed. "I was thinking about it."

Gil walked further into her room, having just arrived. "Druig texted me. Really surprised me to hear from him, but he said you've been acting weird--wants me to 'talk to some sense into you'."

Thena let out a humourless chuckle. "I'm surprised he decided to entrust you with that task."

"Gotta say, I am too," Gil agreed quietly until he was standing behind her. "I have to agree--you seem a little anxious lately."

She had been nervous, jumpy, and Gil knew it. They hadn't been able to go out on a date in weeks because she felt on the verge of a panic attack at the thought of having to navigate crowds or risk running into someone. "Maybe...maybe I should consider-"

"Don't," he whispered, placing his hand gently over hers. Her bag was already half full. "Don't say you're going back to that place."

Thena squeezed her eyes shut, tears already burning the insides of them. "Where should I go, Gil?"

"Anywhere else," he concluded. He pulled her hand away from packing up as if she were sailing off into the horizon. He moved slowly and gently until he could sit on the chair in the corner of her room and look up at her. "Please, Thena, just talk to me."

When he was seated lower, she had no excuse not to look at him. But she stared down at his hands, holding hers so, so gently. "Druig and Makkari have been looking at places again."

Gil raised his brows. "That...that's good...right?"

It was. It was what she wanted. She wanted their lives to continue on after the ugliness of the last year. She wanted her brother to feel free to settle down and marry the love of his life. And he could do that without worrying about his sister, she was determined.

"He keeps asking me to see them," she admitted quietly, as if Druig had his ear pressed against the door and would be wounded by overhearing her. "He keeps picking rooms that he says can be mine--if I so choose."

"So," Gil prompted, giving her hands a little squeeze, "what's so bad about that?"

Thena shook her head, looking up around the ceiling of her room to keep her tears from falling. "I'm not some child he has to drag around with him. He should be choosing a home to suit him and his wife, not worrying about his burdensome sister."

"Come on," Gil whispered, his eyes drifting downward from the sheer weight of Thena's discouragement. "You know he doesn't think of you like that."

Thena sighed, pulling her hands from Gil's and plopping herself on the corner of her bed. She pressed them to her head, trying to keep them from shaking. "I know he doesn't. That is exactly the problem."

"Okay, so you don't want him worrying about you," Gil shrugged, turning in the chair to face her head on again.

Thena stared down at her knees. She wasn't wearing her work dress and stockings with a tight ponytail. But she couldn't bring herself to wear soft sweatpants anymore, opting for athleisure leggings and a cardigan at even her most comfortable.

"What else?"

She toyed with her fingernails. "I don't want to live here alone."

Gil nodded again, leaning back in the chair.

She hunched over herself more, despite her sore back. "It's not about the cost, it's...I can't be here by myself, thinking all these...things."

"Okay, so we'll find somewhere else for you," Gil leapt at the opportunity to suggest an alternative. He leaned forward again, even scooching toward the edge of the seat. "I'll help you look."

She smiled, although she still wasn't feeling the intent behind the action. "Druig offered the same. Even Makkari--but that's not the point."

Gil seemed to understand what she was getting at. And of course he did, it was Gil. He was sweet, and understanding, and he always seemed to know what she was trying to say, even if she didn't have the words. "You want to find a place for yourself."

She sighed, looking at her hands again. "I don't seem capable of anything these days."

Gil took her hands in his again, rubbing his thumb over her skin. "You know that's not true."

She wasn't as sure as he was. She never was--never had his confidence, or positivity. It was something she both envied and admired about him. She loved it about him. "Maybe-"

"No!"

She blinked, taken aback by his outburst. He was always so soft spoken, especially with her. She had never heard him so much as raise his voice. The only things he did loudly were laughing and sneezing.

"Maybe nothing!" he pressed, standing from the chair. "That place never did you any good. I don't think it does anyone any good! And I will not let you go back to that misery!"

Thena's eyes fluttered, her back straightening. Her heart began to squeeze at the sheer volume of things, but this was Gil--she was safe with him.

"Thena," he finally quieted again, kneeling in front of her. "You never have to go back to that place, okay? I don't care if you have a nervous breakdown--I'll take care of you. I'll take better care of you than they ever would in there. Just--just promise me you won't go back there because you're worried about burdening people."

She blinked, those tears she was trying to hold back finally falling. It was completely dark outside, her small bedside lamp offering minimal lighting. But it caught Gil's features in just such a way that made him seem so beautiful. "I don't want to go back there."

"Good," he nodded, turning her hand so he could press his lips to it.

"But," she gasped, her lip wobbling. She clung to him. "But what if I'm not me, anymore?"

"You're exactly who you need to be," he said without a hint of doubt in his voice. "You're Thena."

So completely unwavering, her Gilgamesh.

"You're my Thena," he repeated, softer this time, kissing the back of her other hand before pulling her up to stand with him. His hands slipped around waist to rest at her back. "That's all you need to be."

She wasn't sure who 'Thena' was, at times. At least, not as she knew herself before all this. Gil kept saying that the past year was a part of her, for better or worse. But she just wanted to leave it behind--to revert to the version of her that had existed before it all.

"Look," he whispered, still holding her so gently. "Maybe that's easy for me to say. I didn't know you before. But the Thena I know is pretty damn amazing."

She let another laugh, still not humoured in the least.

"She is," he chuckled, though, and he did mean it. He leaned closer, touching his forehead to hers. "She's this badass translator, works in a big, fancy office. She's actually pretty funny, if she's in a good mood. Kinda likes messing with me."

"I do not."

"Just a little," he contested, scrunching up his nose faintly. "But I think that side of her is cute. And she's tough--way tougher than she thinks she is. And she's an incredible sister, even when her brother is being a pain in our ass."

"Our?" she interrupted.

"Our," he confirmed, touching the tips of their noses together to silence her. "And I know he's just worried about you. That's why he keeps saying you can stay with them if you want. But I guess he doesn't really know it's stressing you out."

Thena sighed, dragged back into the depths of her problems like plunging into ice cold water. "How do I tell him?"

Gil skipped over that question, still busy holding her, almost swaying as his weight shifted from foot to foot. "So, this Thena--I mean, to me, she's the most incredible woman in the world."

"Gil," she sighed, trying to pull him from his reverent description of her.

But he nudged her head until he could kiss her lips, also gently. As gently as everything else about him. "She's the woman I love, plain and simple."

Oh, did she ever love him. She had gone from being someone who probably didn't really believe in love for herself at all to being head over heels for her sweet, gentle giant.

She sighed as she kissed him again, leaning up on her toes to loop her arms around his neck. Kissing Gil always made her feel more human--more grounded and real. It took away the buzzing in her head and replaced it with with a heavy and pleasant sedative that could spread through her veins.

Gil stayed close, his forehead against hers, lips still faintly puckered. "Better?"

"Hm," she sighed. She didn't need to explain herself--not to him. She ran her fingers gently through the hair at the back of his head. If only she never had to go to work, or take public transport, or go to house viewings where the realtor would look at her oddly. If only she could stay in Gil's arms every second of every day.

"Good," he sufficed to say, tapping his fingers against the back of her sweater. He moved his hand to her hip. "So, about this living situation-"

"Right," she sighed the heaviest she had yet (which was saying something).

"Hey," he nudged her gently, pulling her eyes up to him. "A unit in my building is going on the market for next month. It's the one above mine--sweet old guy is moving out to be closer to his grand kids."

Oh. Living that close to Gil--being neighbours?

"I can always ask him if he'd be open to a lease trade-off," Gil suggested, although he was unable to hide his excitement at the prospect in his smile. "What do you think?"

Being that close to Gil? Being his upstairs neighbour?

His smile wobbled faintly, turning sheepish as he looked away. "It's a little more modest than this place. But it's a one bedroom, and it's not a bad location. And-"

Thena stood on her toes, pressing her lips to his, even with a cliche 'mmwah' sound. He looked dazed after the firmer kiss, which made her smile genuinely for the first time that night. She leaned against him heavier, but he steadied her without a second thought. "I think that sounds perfect."

"Really?" he asked, beaming like a dog about to receive a treat with a wagging tail.

She took his cheeks in her hands, "it sounds wonderful, Gil."

"O-Okay," he laughed, sounding near hysteria. But he pulled her against his chest in his arms, even lifting her off the ground slightly as he spun them. "This'll be amazing, sweetie, I promise!"

He needed no promises. The thought of having him a mere flight of stairs away was already comforting, in a sense. And she had been to his flat plenty of times. He was right, it was in a good location, and it wasn't any further from her office than she was now, all things considered.

Gil set her on her feet once more. "I'll talk to him tonight."

"Don't get too ahead of yourself," she advised gently. It wasn't often she was able to offer a calming voice of reason these days; it felt familiar, even soothing. She toyed with some some stray hairs of his. "I may have to apply, like everyone else."

"Peh," Gil waved in dismissal again (making her laugh, again). "The old guy loves me. And that's before I tell him some sob story about wanting my girlfriend to move in so we can be closer."

Thena blushed softly, toying with the hem of her cardigan. Sometimes she had to remind herself that Gil wasn't just 'someone she was seeing', and actually the man she had known for more than half a year and had been dating for more than half that time, now.

"It'll be great," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "We can carpool to work, I'll be right downstairs if you ever wanna talk--or cuddle."

"Gil," she admonished, but it came out as a light and air whisper as he kissed her cheek again, his five o'clock shadow against her skin.

He stopped nuzzling her just to look at her more solemnly. "You should tell Druig."

"It was your idea."

"Exactly," Gil made a face, shrinking somewhat. "He'll kill me."

Thena rolled her eyes, her spirits lifting by the moment. "It's not as if you're offering to shack up with me yourself."

He didn't laugh at her joke. He didn't even seem to realise it was a joke, just shrugged one shoulder. "I mean they're both only one bedroom units. Plus, I imagine you want some space for yourself for a little. Feel like you have some more control?"

Well, he was exactly right about that, as always. Although she hadn't expected his rebuttal to be that they would need a larger space if they were to live together. She just blinked, "precisely."

"So it's decided," he grinned again, and gave her another kiss for good measure. "I'll go talk to Karun, you talk to Druig. He really is worried about you."

"I know," she mumbled, feeling properly chastised. She unlinked her hands from behind his head and squeezed his forearms. "I'm sure he was desperate to call you."

"And I'm suggesting you move into my building instead of in with him?--he's gonna have my head."

Thena laughed genuinely for the first time that night. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from him."

Gil stared at her in a way that made her toes curl. He bent his head down to sneak into the crook of her neck under her jaw. "I know you will."

She shivered as he left a kiss on her pulse point.

But he left it at that, pulling away and standing to his full height again. It left her feeling chilly, needing to pull her cardigan tighter around herself. "Okay."

Thena nodded, letting him take her by the hand. She did have to talk to Druig--about everything. About moving and also about how she would be okay without him hovering over her shoulder. She would be okay without that hell hole and its medication and she would be okay even if she felt like this different version of herself, possibly forever.

Gil grasped the doorknob with his other hand, the door not fully closed and letting in just a sliver of light from the rest of the house. He held her other hand, giving it a squeeze. "Ready?"

She nodded, holding his hand tighter, just in case she needed it. But she smiled, "ready."

#Thenamesh Life Interrupted AU #I love this au!#and we love you Love!#Thena is feeling worse and worse about Druig moving out before proposing #he's all stressed about her staying with them #but stressed because she doesn't want him to stress #it's a lot going on #so Thena gets more withdrawn thinking about all this #and eventually Druig does the unthinkable #he texts his sister's boyfriend and tells him to get his ass down here and talk to her #they come out of her room #They're holding hands and Thena looks oh so besotted #Druig sits up from the couch holding Makkari like I already don't like this #Thena tells Druig listen she appreciates his concern and she'll come and visit all the time #but she's going to move into Gil's place #and Druig loses his everloving mind #he blows up about how it's too soon and they barely know each other and he doesn't trust Gil enough to let them shack up #and Thena lets him get it all out of his system before finishing saying: Gil's apartment........complex #Makkari: lol #Druig totally loses his steam and just goes oh...well I guess that's not so bad #because Thena knows how to break bad news to her little brother #Druig is still a little wary of it and he still tells Gil that if he ever thinks Thena is upset because of him #he's got a whole lot of hell comin' his way #but he's also a good brother and tells her he'll help her move and he's not going anywhere until she's settled #they haven't settled on a house yet anyway and he won't actually leave until Thena is settled #if she called and said I don't like it here Druig is like okay we're living in the townhouse forever #meanwhile Thena actually wants him to leave the nest so she and Gil can be cutesy flirty neighbours and carpool and have sleepovers

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batboybisexualism · 7 days

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ugggggggh today I had a surprise extra dog walk, and I'm already on a dog-sit so I had to leave sweet miss Bailey alone at home three times today, and she gets separation anxiety so that was hard 😭 also while walking Finn and Leo in the park I not only had to deal with every single one of the dozens of people I passed on the walk not moving out of the fucking way, like I swear people are allergic to sharing the path in that park and the path is like eight feet wide, so I always have to drag the dogs over to the grass next to the path which isn't as smooth and it's usually muddy and/or covered in fallen tree branches etc so it's harder to navigate without tripping especially with those insane dogs pulling me all over the place, ANYWAY not only did I have to deal with that but I also had maybe the worst asthma attack I've ever had and I didn't have my inhaler so my lungs have been sore all day and I can't fucking breathe normally 😭😭😭

ALSO I went to swap out the tip on the syringe for my t-shot from the drawing needle to the injecting needle and when I screwed it in I heard a cracking sound...didn't really think anything of it because when I aspirated the needle it seemed to be working fine, but once I jabbed myself and pushed the plunger down all the t oil just squirted out of the side of the base of the needle tip and all over my leg lmaooooooo so now I have to call my endo and be like "hey I spilled my boy juice can I have more" and idk what they're going to say because I just had to refill it early because I'd been giving myself a double dose because they didn't fucking tell me how much to inject into myself so I had to guess 😅😅😅😅😭😭😭😭😭😭

I feel like absolute shit I feel so sick and exhausted and I haven't been able to sleep lately because I'm in so much pain and can't ever find a comfortable position and my restless leg syndrome has been so insanely bad idkkkkkk it's just so stupid I honestly can't wait for my surgery next week because I'll be taking two weeks off to recover lmao............if my surgery even happens lol who fucking knows!!!! and like yeah I'll feel way better dysphoria-wise but I'll also be post-surgery lol so physically I'm probably going to feel even worse than I do now!!!!!!!!! why am I aliiiiivvvveeeeeeeeeeeee

#btw I don't expect people to totally move out of the way and let me have the whole path lol #just like...if you're coming from the opposite way and walking in the middle of the path maybe move over to one side?#and if you're walking a dog maybe pull that dog over?? so my dogs don't fucking attack your dog???#and so I don't have to drag them into the woods and army crawl through the fucking underbrush????????#it's my hardest walk terrain-wise AND because it's the longest AND because the dogs are insane #like they are always pulling in a different direction than we're walking #and usually each one is pulling in a different direction #and if they're both pulling to the right I'll be like okay let's go over there!! fine!!#and then we do and they're like wtf get us out of here and they start pulling in a different direction/s #they're so perfect and beautiful and I love them but god dammit you guys............#anyway this was supposed to be a short post just listing a couple of shitty things that happened today why can I never stfu

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