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#WHERE IS THE FUNNY
jestercoven · 1 year
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what is this vanilla extract joke i dont get it
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dishsaop · 5 months
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the worst part about being an adult is thay its no longer socially acceptable to just roll down a really big hill and then run back up it and roll back down again. "oh is this a syphilis metaphor" passerby would ask. "is this for a tick tock". no i just wanna come home covered in dirt and scratches and bask in the the solace of childlike mirth
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hey does any one want to be funny for me instead like i thought that my adhd would distract me by being more quippy than normal leading to more jokes like it normally does but its just the suffering so far
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cannibalchicken · 7 months
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delphinidin4 · 10 months
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so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.
and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.
...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.
see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.
while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.
especially if the president of the united states is on board.
yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.
and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."
but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.
...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.
not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.
yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.
but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire
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antirepurp · 1 year
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top 10 most ominous tweets in recent memory
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sadmages · 7 months
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In my mind palace my tav and Astarion are playing the exact same game of 5D chess and they don't realize it yet
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nicktoonsunite · 4 months
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misc NU doodles part tres
last comic is based off off my nasb 2 clip
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firbolgfriend · 2 months
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Mlp infected aus that just erase Discord from existence is so funny, he would shut that shit down so fast. Not even all that for the sake of friendship or whatever he’d see it and be like erm… not really my cup of chaos, this is just gross (snap, fixed)
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ao3-crack · 5 months
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(x)
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dapper-lil-arts · 1 month
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The Chrysalis x Cadance pairing is so much funnier if its a polycule
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sleepy-bebby · 2 years
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sorryitisandy · 7 months
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Been thinking about how Rise spent every spare moment at school absolutely WRESTLING with the intrusive thoughts telling her to crank that fire alarm
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None of the FNAF Mikes or Vanessas are normal,,
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critterbitter · 2 months
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A trip down memory lane! Though the tower seems to have changed…
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Celestial tower! Built during the direct aftermath of the Founding Unovan Civil War, it remains a cultural landmark in memory of those lost in the fire and storm.
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Time has dulled the scars left behind by the twin dragons. Today, the tower is primarily used as a mausoleum (the preferred method of burial are urns) and, well, a tourism site. Legend says if you climb to the top of the tower and ring the bell, you can lay your ghosts to rest. But mostly? You can ring a GIANT bell.
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Course, you gotta GET to that bell first.
Masterpost for more pokemon shenanigans here!
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