#WHO AT THE TIME WERE ADULTS

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

#star trek #Vulcans #Humans #not based on a specific thing #but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’ #who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field? #like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq #and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first #would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate #and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for #and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance #the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times #they were just dicks #and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it. #it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible #you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier #but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks. #that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on #and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post #but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks #and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be #replaced #hated that couple #if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us #(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀) #liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people #that no one else wanted to be friends with #I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone #this got long sorry 😭

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[lucky-fy]

made it gayer

#dungeon meshi #farcille #marcille donato #falin touden #manga panel #yes I was cackling the whole time I edited this #free to use #took the speech bubbles out and made it gayer #by this I mean I changed Marcille’s expression #Falin was already making that face #edit: if you’re going to be a hater on any ship in the fandom; f*ck off. This post is not for you (certified: a multishipper) #if you’re the type to like/reblog posts that go “eww who ships Marcille x Laios.” This post is not for you #if you’re hating on the m/m ships because “it’s taking attention away from Farcille” f*ck off. Shipping is not a competition #as you can see #I am getting TIRED of shipping wars being brewed in the fandom #I thought we were all adults here #why am I seeing Voltron-like behaviour in the main tag

[twelvemonkeyswere]

watching more of Ace and 7th, I'm delighted by their unmatched dynamic:

the Doctor built a gigantic weird grey square thing to substitute Ace's boombox, which was destroyed by the Daleks (awww)

while spying on some nazis, Ace sneezes. the Doctor immediately fakes bird sounds so nobody suspects there's a human there

when Ace sprained an ankle, the Doctor adamantly insisted on helping her himself and gave her a small speech about how she has to take care of herself

while spying on the nazis, the Doctor asked Ace if she ignored his instructions and has explosives in her backpack. she says she's "a good girl" and does as she's told, so he says "excellent, blow that vehicle up." she's SO thrilled about it

Ace has defended the Doctor with all her heart every time someone accuses him of something because that's her Professor and she rescued him from the street and gave him a forever home. she defended him even though he refused to explain his past and a cryptic lady teased that the Doctor had deep secrets that couldn't be revealed without grave consequences, and there were hints that he was involved in the creation of Gallifrey in the Time of Chaos. Ace said "fuck the lot of you this is my old weird little guy go find your own" and stood her ground

Ace made friends with a girl in a town who had her exact same energy. they began talking about nitroglycerine so Ace told her they should talk outside. when her new friend asked why, Ace said "he gets upset when I talk about explosives" loud enough for the Doctor to hear her laugh. he let her go without another word

in that same episode, Ace meets another female soldier who was now commanding Brigadier, as well as Brigadier Stewart's wife. They all went out on a girl's night, leaving the house chores to their respective male companions. The Doctor was beaming at the women while leaving and very cheerily said he'd cook something for the men left behind

sometimes the Doctor is trying to figure something out and Ace chimes in to ask questions that prove the Doctor has been teaching her about physics

the 7th is very vocally anti-war and anti-violence yet has immediately resorted to death threats the moment someone's even sniffing at Ace. I've seen him use a sword, several types of guns, and maybe a bomb? All to prevent Ace from being slightly threatened

Ace accidentally destroyed a madman's lab while being attacked by some creatures. The scientist was all "YOU RUINED MY LIFE'S WORK" and the Doctor turned proudly to Ace and said "that's my girl"

one time they sat at a bar and Ace tried to order alcohol. the Doctor growled a warning "Aceeeee" and she sheepishly changed it for a lemonade

the Doctor boops Ace's nose several times as a sign of affection, and Ace smiles and accepts it, which I'm CERTAIN she would never take from anyone else

Ace has repeatedly dragged the Doctor around when he was being stubborn, sometimes even using his own umbrella, which I'm CERTAIN he would never take from anyone else

the Doctor keeps sending Ace places where she will be out of harm's way and Ace keeps finding direct and indirect ways to put herself in harm's way, which makes the Doctor then run after her to help her. this is literally what most episodes are about.

Ace repeatedly refuses help and compliments, but never from the Doctor. she also talks with insolence to most adults she encounters, but never to the Doctor, even when she's angry or talking back to him

the Doctor encourages Ace to be brave about her fears. there are very few things that truly scare Ace and make her feel insecure, and he is honest about what makes him scared and insecure, to show her he wants her to get through this

one time they had to return a magic sword to its place, and they were doing a ritual about it. Ace, who took it out in the first place, held the sword insouciantly to put it back and the Doctor says "Ace, don't you have a sense of the moment? this is important" and Ace just flatly says "no" and smashes the sword back

after a long day of being hunted down by creatures the Doctor paces around to monologue and when he turns to Ace, she's fallen asleep on a couch. so he smiles and gently pats her cheek with the back of his hand

truly the most duo of all time

#i love that he's very aware this gremlin child picked him as her Designated Adult and he's very gleefully taking care of her best he can #most of the time the job is to hold Ace back but more importantly #the job is to know when *not* to hold Ace back #when someone told me Ace was his daughter I thought they were exaggerating but truly this is His Child #doctor who #classic who #7th doctor

[bogkeep]

idk why there's so much discussion around the ~*morality of traumadumping*~ when it's a VERY solvable social conundrum. all you need to do is ask something like "hey is it ok if i talk about this thing? it's kind of heavy" and respect the answer

#it's both very normal and good to talk to people about stuff that's weighing on you #AND it can be very uncomfortable to have someone unload a lot of really heavy things at you at once without warning #this is not a zero sum game? #????????????? #i guess sometimes the problem is that ppl have a different measure for what counts as 'traumadumping' #i personally associate it w the time i was a volunteer at a summer camp and one of the teens asked me if they could get my advice #and when i was like yeah sure they proceeded to tell me their entire life story which involved several deaths and horrible things #which left me in a very awkward position of Um What Did You Want My Advice For Specifically #but like i was fine!! i was the Responsible Adult who had signed up for this #and they were a teen who needed someone to listen to them!!

[agentark]

so long and good night 🫡

#rtx #rooster teeth #rip rtx #rtah #no im actually sad some (probably most) of the friends I've made as an adult were people I met at rtx #it sucks that it is SO hard to make a profit for a con #as someone who's worked bts at several cons i know that many just want to break even #and i imagine a 'niche' con like rtx would have a tough time with that #one time I was working a con and I learned that it can cost over $1k to have internet in ONE room for ONE day at a convention center

[qcomicsy]

I have the controversial opinion that maybe, just maybe we stop wanting to go after people with pitchforks for getting characters wrong and not reading the comics inviting them to easy and accessible ways of and making our own content with comic accurate representation

people might feel less anxious about starting comics and misinformation won't spread as easily

#but that just me #I'm a batman fan for maybe all my life but just started seriously getting to the comics of half of the batfamily as an adult #let people take their time #some of them just got here #“THEYRE WRONG” you can block them #“THEY'RE GOING TO INFFECT THE CANNON JUST LIME THEY DID WITH TIM AND COFFEE” make accurate jokes then push people who make accurate jokes #interact with accurate jokes #make informative posts #if every time we feel the hit to beat up a comic inaccuracy post we make a funny little comic accuracy post maybe there won't be as much #disinformation peace and love on the planet earth. #never going to forget how much I shit on bad spideypool fanfics until I get to read some of my favorite writers old fanfics and they were #absolutely nothing like the characters #some people take time some people don't know where to start #some people don't have time to read the comics #some people don't have your favorite character whole backstory engraved #“THEY CAN RESEARCH” of course and fannon would be better if they did but have you consider....you have the power to make it better #i just think sometimes we can take the spite and make something beautiful #q rambles #i wrote the shit and forgot to finish LMAO

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Not to keep beating dead horses like I so much love to do but I am still completely Flabbergasted and Astonished at how you (Merle Ambrose) could discover the most terrifying fact that a child that is essentially under your care has been indoctrinated into a cult (which, by the way, a process that has taken over the course of years) ((by an agent that has been stationed in a direct position to make it easier to access and manipulate children, that has easily escaped your notice for such a long time)) that worships a nihilistic entity whose ultimate goal is the absolute and total destruction of Everything and Everyone around you, and your one, single, simple-sentenced response to that is to say "Oh, that's a shame. He (Duncan) always was pretty terrible. Hope he gets better someday." And then to move on from those extremely worrying and dangerous bundle of issues permanently without taking any sort of action to protect the vulnerable and make sure nothing like this ever happens again

#i love ambrose as a character but the things he does makes me clench my fists so hard blood circulation gets cut off #the absolute.... lack of care ambrose has for certain things literally render me speechless #and like okay in his uh. in his uh “defense”. there was like. other stuff going on at the time. i get that #like the end of the world for the 7th time yeah there were other things on ambrose's plate #but i dont know how many different ways to put “your children are being manipulated and kidnapped into a cult that means them harm under- #-your nose and it can absolutely happen again“ and make that stick #you... i #that is a horrifying fact to learn and the response is dismissive at BEST #like im not saying ambrose should adopt all 800 children that go to his school or whatever #but like... DO SOMETHING #you have COMPLETE AND UTTER INFLUENCE OVER THE NATIONAL GUARD. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT? USE THAT #send out watch parties! hold stranger danger assemblies! have adults regularly check in with kids! install a curfew! ANY OF THOSE THINGS? #like even if ambrose couldnt single-handedly stop a powerful cult he could at least make an effort.... AN EFFORT #ONE ATTEMPT. TO MAKE SURE ****HIS**** SCHOOL AND STUDENTS ARE SAFE........ #and the fact that he says something along the lines of “well duncan was always fucked up” ☹️☹️☹️☹️ #this shouldt surprise me fir the man who for 1. some reason refuses to fix the death school #2. does not care about dworgyn or mortis in the least #3. keeps trying to pressure necromancers to change schools #4. kidnapped US from earth and used us. #it really shouldnt but........ but #im gonna say it and idc (/lh) if its unpopular. ambrose should not be in power #he is incompetent at best. he is harmful at worst. #he does NOTHING 99.9% of the time and the one Tuesday where he takes action it makes something worse. he should not be in power #this post is /lh but idk. im a little angry #NOT SERIOUSLY ANGRY BUT CMON MAN. CMON BRO #if the game utilized ambrose's potential more and pointed out how useless/paranoid/rash he can be i would ascend to heaven #i would like literally one person (who isnt a villain) in the game to look at ambrose and say “wow hes kinda fucked up” #THATS THE BARE MINIMUM BUT I WILL ACCEPT THAT I WILL. #kind of unrelated but im kinda mad that the only person to correctly point out how weird ambrose is is morganthe #the murderous tyrant. the person we're not supposed to listen to. because she's evil. she couldnt POSSIBLY be right about Good Guy Ambrose!

[cakemoney]

brennan: so you're in the last standard exam in an alien realm and in the stands you see a bunch of arthur agueforts, they're cheering for you, they're talking to each other, they've got your names written on their chests

editors: zooms in on the two arthur agueforts who are making out because they know how we are

#laughs awkwardly #dimension 20 #fantasy high spoilers #don't mind me i'm talking all the way down here. just pondering the concept of like #i know this is the format of the show and that's how the show works etc etc #but there's also a tragic quality to the fact that. these battle sets were made way beforehand. which means that #the bad kids were always destined to take the last standard exam. they were always going to fail in some way #no matter how hard they worked no matter how much stress they took on no matter how much they've grown #something something bobby dawn's really unlocked the extreme teenage rage in me. the idea of #'problem children' who are set up to fail by the system and then teachers act like their failure 'proves' that they were always bad #you know what i mean? plot device comedy et cetera but i do get really really sad about kids who struggle in school when they don't have to #the support could have been there and would have cost nothing but a bit of time effort empathy but adults withhold it. just to make a point

[detroitbecomeonline]

hankcon fucks so hard why did we hate it so much

I'm glad you got over your hate anon! I personally don't hate things because I'm perfect

#edit for clarity because of the comments lmfao: i don't hate hankcon i thought that was obvious due to my BLOG? cryign anyway #I still prefer Anderfam because of the absolute adult father-son shenanigans #I had hankcon filtered for ages but I kept clicking that sexy sexy unhide button #now I appreciate the artists who make nice drawings! unfortunately they're kissing. fortunately for the shippers this can exist in a #different timeline universe than whatever family dynamic duo im living in #and nothing beats canon platonic to me!!!!!! <3 #anon reveal yourself coward #at least to me #i dont ship nothin but the tracis because they're kickass and reed900 because wtf is that combo lmao <3333 oh also rareship con700 #my opinions and tastes will develop and change over time #actually fun fact there was a point hankcon and rk1k were the same level of No Thanks to me #now i'm nodding sagely #one of my hit posts is an rk1k textpost im LAUGHING #reveal yourself to me anon ill be nice to you #ianswer

[zvaigzdelasas]

"A lot of people who miss Eastern Bloc socialism are those who actually lived it most of their lives, and have to experience what Enlightened Liberal Democracy does to old people. This somehow self-evidently discredits their opinions" - standard english-speaking eastern european liberal

(Correction - 42% of Czechs don't think the new govt is better than the old govt, not that they necessarily believe the old was better - 17% think theyre about the same - for the purposes of complicating 'obviously the old govt was worse' little material difference)

#& ofc the 'im not saying now theres no problems BUTTTT' ok and who is saying eastern bloc socialism had no problems? #like. ppl who are 40 now were teens as eastern bloc socialism fell #unless thats what one considers 'old' then everyone 60+ was like a full adult by that time #question is why the 'problems' of eastern bloc socialism are intrinsically worse than the ''problems'' of enlightened liberal democracy

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

To Shape A Dragon’s Breath

YA fantasy

a young Indigenous girl finds & bonds with a dragon hatchling - the first time in many generations for her people - and is required to go to the coloniser’s dragon academy in their mainland city, to learn how to raise her dragon and the science of its magic

historical inspired setting on the cusp of industrial revolution with steampunk vibes

bi polyamorous MC, Black lesbian SC, nonverbal autistic SC

#To Shape A Dragon’s Breath #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is really really good i loved it! #the chapter titles are all like snippets of a story. or like sentence fragments that match up. which is cool #it is definitely more about being indigenous in a coloniser institution than Dragon School - not Super dragon heavy if you want that #I suspect the subsequent books will get into that when she gets big enough to ride and stuff #t’s also def YA! i’ve seen a few ppl assume it’s adult and be like its very young :( but like. I mean its perfectly reasonable for a 15yo m #definitely a Lot of racism and colonialism which is not fun to read! though it's still through a YA lens. there was def a part of me that #was imagining consequences of the narrative as if it were an adult novel #on that line of thought - at the end a lot of it is kind of solved by them going to the king and he's is like. oh no racism is happening? #that's bad i'll deal with those people! which felt like. a little simplistic. but maybe the easiest way to end the narrative for book 1 - #I don't think the author ACTUALLY is going to portray the king as a Good Guy throughout the series - it just felt conveniently like - #a simple YA solution to some very big and complex elements? if that makes sense? (but again - it is YA so it's allowed I suppose!) #some of the worldbuilding (like all the science learning) is probably setup for next books - we don’t really see any practical application #the romances are also subtle and not Overbearing In Book One which i like - leave some space for the series! #also her getting fanmail from a 10yo mixed race girl who looks up to her 🥺 #anyway. i really loved it! #oh also it reminded me a little of leviathan. i guess just the steampunk/time period/european culture.... #To Shape A Dragon's Breath

[tatsumi-rin]

Moral Orel doesn't seem 100% like a show I'd feel seen in if you don't know me but then I remember the episode with the special ed kids and underneath the usual satire on extremist bible belt religion it reminds me WAY too much of how actual special ed departments treated me and other kids growing up.

Like the writers must HAVE BEEN THERE IN LIFE, man. I'd kill to sit down with Dino Stamatopoulos and find out what the fuck inspired him and the other writing staff that day.

#husbandothings #moral orel #bonus fun tag rant? bonus fun tag rant...apparently #in those departments you are immediately written off as a tragic forever toddler by at least 50% of the staff regardless of your disability #there's good ones but the bad ones bring the fun spicy trauma #it doesn't matter how smart you actually are you gotta draw the sad face on that boy on the comic sans worksheet at the age of 15 #in your free lesson spaces that you got because of reasons #if someone tells me they're a teaching assistant or have “qualifications” in autism and special needs development i immediately distrust #because I have never met a neurotypical person with those qualifications who knows how to treat kids like humans especially autistic kids #funniest part? I was mostly in the special ed department because of my hearing and not totally my undiagnosed autism #and a little because of wonky emotional development from get this...a freaking religious school #like i see adults in the show and i see the headteacher who tried to tell my parents i should forgive the bullies because jesus would #even though the truth is way more nuanced but he just wanted to wash his hands of it #it's funnier than it should be because that teacher would fit right in to this show for that and additional reasons I won't state here #my family were atheists but thought the school would be good #the weird thing is at that time as a little kid I liked the idea of believing in god but nothing that happened proved Him to me #and moral orel hits because it resonates with the fact i genuinely believe religion can do good and it's all about the people #the ones who want to use that faith for good in the world and surviving rough crap and not to do things that would make jesus flip tables #that has stuck with me for over a decade as has the people who felt the show reinforced their christianity #but anyway

[ckret2]

Highly specific question, BUT since Bill is into eyes and I have this condition myself, I am very curious: What are Bill’s thoughts on lazy eyes or eye drifts (which is basically just the early stages of lazy eye)

I'm assuming that in this case "lazy eye" could be referring to both strabismus and strabismus-induced amblyopia.

He finds it a little goofy that human brains often just shut off one eye if they're pointed too far apart, and if they don't they get double vision. "Oh nooo I don't know how to synthesize these two pictures into one 3D picture, I guess I'd better turn off one picture completely—" you buffoon of a brain, you coward, you joke of evolutionary biology, why don't you just synthesize the two pictures into one widescreen panoramic picture without depth perception? You know how many earthling species have eyes on opposite sides of their heads and somehow can handle that input just fine? If he'd been put in charge of designing human brains he would've made the "synthesize two pictures into one picture" software robust enough to handle a lot more more than slight differences in what each eye sees, but the forces of evolution didn't ask him.

But as far as the physical appearance of it, it's fine. He doesn't put much thought into it past "oh that's slightly weird for humans. (positive)" If only one eye works or sees clearly he'll make eye contact with that one when he talks to the person, if both work equally he'll pick one. In triangle mode he might double himself to look into both at the same time, which I imagine might be a trippy view if a brain that's used to seeing totally different things with each eye is suddenly seeing the same object with both.

#(I have family members who had strabismus. Their alignments were surgically corrected in childhood—) #(—but their brains had already permanently rewired so only one eye sees at a time and so they don't have depth perception.) #(they're adults now and they can switch which eye is 'on'.) #anonymous #ask #bill goldilocks cipher

[tranakin-skywalker]

Not enough about the clones being children and adults at the same time. They're 10 years old. They're fully grown. They're still little kids. They never got to have a childhood at all. They're terrifying soldiers. They hardly know anything about the galaxy except how to fight and how to take orders.

I want clones that have this childish wonder at the world, but being terrified to show it. Clones with the sense of humor of 10 year old boys. Clones who don't really understand what death is, not really. Not until they're on a battlefield and dying in droves.

#you ever think about how small their world was on kamino? #how little they knew or experienced? #kids in bodies of adults who were made to grow up too fast in more ways than one #yeah they had the accelerated aging but they're still only 10 years old #like. kids are still fully formed people they just haven't been around long enough to experience as much or develop yet #the clones are physically adults but they've only had half as much time to grow up #i just wish it was something that was explored more