#WHOMST was eating RAVIOLIOS in the DRUG SMUGGLING WAREHOUSE

[unpretty]

most of bruce wayne's scars are probably from batmanning but there's gotta be some dumb ones in there. i don't know if it's funnier if they happen while he's, idk, undercover working as a line cook somewhere Because Reasons, OR if it actually happened while batmanning and he could never tell a soul. like he tried to use a batarang as a can opener for some reason. some of them probably happened in college but

no, i'm fixated on the batarang thing now

in the years before dick grayson showed up he was out there alone and probably doing fuck-all most of the time because there weren't that many supervillains and the majority of crimes don't require a batted man. he had NO adult supervision and NO children to supervise while pretending to be an adult. he was an american man in his early twenties with a death wish wearing a bat costume. i have known american men in their early twenties with a death wish and they will set themselves on fire accidentally even without bat costumes. there is zero chance he was in compliance with osha. he's wearing armored gloves but he took them off for finer motor control while misusing a batarang and ended up with a batarang through his hand. he never told alfred because 'there was an unlabeled aluminum can in a pantry and it probably wasn't related to the mystery but it was bothering me so i wanted to check' wasn't something he would be able to live down. he refuses to talk about that scar and everyone assumes he got traumatically stabbed but it was just someone's abandoned raviolios.

#original #ficblogging #he's still mad at whoever left that there #it was an abandoned warehouse used by drug smugglers #everything had been moved except this one can in the corner with the label missing #they PROBABLY weren't smuggling drugs in aluminum cans but like #what if #WHOMST was eating RAVIOLIOS in the DRUG SMUGGLING WAREHOUSE #there wasn't even POWER to the BUILDING #one of these smugglers was eating COLD CANNED PASTA #STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CAN #SURROUNDED BY BRICKS OF COKE #and this knowledge haunts him to this day #who the FUCK does that #he has a can opener in his belt now #he didn't before because why would he ever need a can opener on patrol #he thought to himself #like a fool