#WHY does this keep happening to his son(s)

[tender-rosiey]

What would happen if gojo has 2 babies? And they both start crying at the same time and poor gojo has to find a solution in this situation 🥲 his younger baby that is only months old starts crying which makes the older sibling that's 2 years older wake up and starts crying 😭

little voice — gojo satoru x f!reader

you’re on a girls’ vacation. it’s okay. it’s cool.

but it isn’t.

throughout his entire life of fighting curses, emotional trauma, technique training, and unending migraines, he has never felt so much stress like he does right now.

his two kids are truly angels: full of kindness, compassion and—as expected of a child of gojo satoru—full of mischief.

they also share the same amount of love he has for you and, of course, even more. so separate two kids who adore their mother and you get chaos.

satoru just found out that the one who keeps the balance in the house is you, and thinking back about it, it should’ve been obvious because everyone in this house listens to you.

for example, one time when you were out on a simple visit to nanami to take some of the sweet bread he has, you had strictly told satoru to put the two kids to sleep at 8:30 exactly.

he thought it’s too early, but then you explained to him that s/n sleeping gave him time and freedom to look after your baby daughter who was, admittedly, a handful that would not sleep unless she was carried.

so satoru obediently listened, or at least he tried to.

a shameful failed trial at that.

in his defense, what was he supposed to do when s/n gave him puppy eyes asked for a mere 10 minutes more, say no? of course not!

so, like the great father he is, he gave him a couple more minutes, and nothing will make satoru regret his decision since to him his son’s smile is worth the world.

…except maybe the chandelier that is now on the floor and his precious baby daughter who just took one the biggest poops he has known of and his son who is panicking about how to clean this mess before you come home.

and come home you did and to all this mess.

swiftly, you picked up your daughter and changed her diaper, even making her giggle and squeal in between.

then you hugged your son and cleaned up the shattered glass together and disposed of the chandelier. lastly, you stood in front of your husband with a big frown after you’ve put the kids to sleep.

satoru could swear that he couldn’t fall more in love with you. hell, he could even twirl you around and kiss you breathless, but he feels like that would just lead him to the couch.

so he works to butter you up first before trying anything, “hey my sweet cute honeypie—“

you simply quirk an eyebrow.

and he falls to his knees, “I am sorry! I just couldn’t resist his puppy eyes! you should’ve seen them; he looked so cute!”

“I saw them a million times before he was even born, ‘toru.”

your husband gasps, “how!?”

“our son is an exact copy of you, sweetie.”

so yeah that was one of too many times, and if it isn’t apparent that you are the mediator then satoru wants to let the world know that even his students listen to you.

like that one time at school when the first years were caught up fighting with each other, the second years were trying to pull them apart, and satoru was too busy cackling at them while holding d/n that no one noticed panda’s little tail being—god knows why—on fire, not even panda himself.

that was until your precious son tugged at your husband’s shirt and pointed at panda, saying a simple sentence (phrase), “papa, panda fire.”

satoru’s eyes zero on panda then they widen, before he gapes, “oh shit, you’re right!”

“bad word!”

“sorry!”

however, despite satoru almost bolting to put out the fire, panda was finally able to smell it and hummed, “something’s being cooked.” then he looked at his tail, “oh it’s me.”

hit the panic button.

“I am being cooked!” he screams and starts running around, “panda meat doesn’t taste good; I promise!”

the rest start running after him with the intention to help, but panda could only translate it into one thing as he screamed, “don’t eat me!!”

“no one is gonna eat you, dumbass!!” maki yelled but to no avail as no one could get to the panicked panda.

your husband is running as well, half taking photos and videos and half ensuring that d/n does not fall from his hands—considering how she keeps giggling, squealing, and wriggling her entire body.

ijichi took matters into his own hands and called the only person he knows will be able to solve this.

“hello?”

“panda is on fire, the kids are running after him, and gojo is just recording!” he wails, eyes frantically following said people then straying to a particularly small person, “also s/n is trying to eat the grass.”

“what?!”

and like lightning, you’re on the field. you lightly scold s/n and tell him to cover his ears.

you turn to the walking fire hazard and scream, “everyone stop! and panda get over here!”

“yes ma’am!”

he stands still in front of you, almost ignoring his ‘fiery’ tail. you effectively put it out and ruffle his fur until he calms down. the others take turns in greeting you and getting their daily dose of motherly hugs.

your son sprints to you and holds onto your leg, refusing to let go.

and they all make way for the star of the show: the all-mighty gojo satoru.

he beams, “wifey, yet again you save the day!”

he easily picks up s/n and pulls the four of you into one big hug. he rubs his cheek against yours, “have I told you how much I love you?”

“I was gone for 3 minutes.”

“I haven’t?!” he gasps, completely ignoring you, “I am a terrible husband!”

he sobs and starts slowly melting to the ground where he believes a ‘disrespectful, good-for-nothing husband who doesn’t tell his wife just how much he loves her’.

anyway, back to the present. the kids have been miraculously put to sleep—a process that satoru does not have the time nor the energy to describe.

when he stops ‘reminiscing ‘, he starts paling at the fact that all of these were mere examples of things going wrong without you, and you were in the freaking area.

now, you’re not 10 steps away, and satoru is feeling very threatened.

he is sprawled out on the couch, eye bags ever so prominent. he sighs and lets his head fall back, grateful for the silence that fills the house, but he hates it at the same time.

satoru was never fond of silence—the type that feels so heavy on the heart—even when he was a teenager. it gives space and time to think about all the things he is desperate to avoid.

he did eventually come to love silence but only the silence that accompanies the times he spends with you, but that’s a story for another time though.

opening his eyes, he looks around and his gaze lands on your recent family photo. his smile is almost instantaneous.

if there’s anything he will rub in suguru’s face when they meet is that he managed to score himself such a lovely wife and an adoring family, a real family. he mentally writes a plus one on the score chart between him and suguru then relaxes.

he would like to scurry to the bed where your scent still lingers, but his fatigue has simply chained him to the couch—he is overreacting you’re only gone for three days.

so, he decides, it’s time to rest and hope for a dream where he gets to hold you and live with his longing until he can feel your lips against his skin again.

the great gojo satoru closes his eyes and welcomes his slumber.

that is until, his little sweetheart decides to breakout into a wail, effectively causing her dad’s eyes to snap open.

he jumps to his feet and sprints to her room, “d/n, what’s wrong, honey?”

he softly cradles her in his—gigantic—arms and starts rocking her slowly. “it’s okay; papa’s here,” he murmurs in hopes of calming down, but his daughter doesn’t register his voice yet.

she can, however, feel his all too familiar chest against her cheek, so she grips at it tightly and continues crying.

satoru’s expression is full of distress, and his heart contracts painfully at how his daughter’s cries. then it’s almost like the entire world is against him right now because he also starts to hear small little sniffles from the door of the room.

your husband looks back to find his son dragging his teddy bear with him in one hand and in another, trying to wipe his tears as much as possible.

your husband quickly shifts d/n into one arm and leads s/n into him with the other. your son nuzzles into his dad’s chest and murmurs, “I want mama.”

almost like she understands the mention of you, she calms down a tiny bit and her hands start reaching for the air—reaching for you.

satoru slides down to the ground and pulls them both into his chest, and he starts rubbing s/n’s shoulder and kisses the top of his head and sighs, “me too, s/n, but, hey, we are strong and capable, so we have to hold on until she comes home, right?”

a little sniffle escapes s/n as he nods before saying a soft, “yeah.”

satoru smiles and ruffles his hair, “that’s my champ.”

s/n lets out a little smile and snuggles into his dad’s embrace.

so satoru shifts his attention to the sniffling baby in his arm, he frowns, “now what are we going to do with you, little missy?”

your son purses his lips for a moment, before placing the teddy bear in his hands into his little sister’s tiny arms. curiosity takes over for a moment, and she starts exploring the new item.

then s/n presses on the teddy bear’s chest and it plays a little voice message from you:

“hey sweetie! mama loves you, so don’t worry about those nightmares! I am always here.”

your daughter’s eyes shine and she hugs the teddy as much as possible and utters a small, “ma!”

satoru blinks owlishly then looks at s/n with smile, “so you had that all along?”

s/n nods slowly and holds into his father tighter, obviously getting tired and getting ready to sleep. satoru would love to say the same about his other angel but—oh she fell asleep.

looks like all it took was a little listen to your voice.

he will probably make you record a thousand voice messages when you come back and make you get him his own special build-a-bear as well cause what the hell? what about your husband?

he shakes the thought away, realizing that he can finally fall asleep, albeit on the floor.

with no blanket.

no pillow.

not even his favorite cushion.

but he wasn’t raised to be ungrateful, so he will take what he can get. he will simply make up for lost sleep when you’re back. it will feel better that way in any case.

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[onlyhuis]

leaning on the everlasting arms

member | childhood best friend! pastor's son!joshua x f reader genre | angst, smut, some fluff, bible college au word count | 10.3k (my first fic over 10k wowie!!) synopsis | as kids growing up in the same church, you and joshua were inseperable, until you got to an age where it was considered immoral for girls and boys to be friends. when you find him again just before graduation, he's different than you remember; but so are you. content warnings | female reader, she/her, reader is implied to be smaller (i'm sorry), discussion of gender roles & religion, no religion is mentioned by name but it's heavily implied to be a form of christianity, reader & shua are both seniors in college, reader wears skirts/dresses but not really by choice, this whole thing is pretty blasphemous oops smut warnings | descriptions of female anatomy, virgin!joshua x virgin!reader, mutual masturbation, phone sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (reader receiving), hints of a voice kink, size kink, praise, begging, really vanilla missionary but it's hot, nicknames (sweetheart, baby, angel) notes | although i am no longer religious, this is partially based off of my own experiences with the extremely traditional christian church i was raised in. however, please keep in mind that this is fiction and does not reflect my beliefs nor joshua's beliefs so don't take the plot too seriously. this piece is not meant to discuss whether certain religions are "right" or "wrong" so please do not comment/send me asks trying to start a debate! we're all just here for a little sexy time with shua it's not that deep note #2 | for those who aren't familiar, the title is the name of a hymn and i thought it was funny bc joshua big sexy arms hehehe

as far back as you could remember, joshua was your closest friend.

his father was the pastor of the church your family went to, and as luck would have it you were both in the same grade, so it wasn’t long before you became inseparable. you saw him at minimum three times a week: sunday morning, sunday evening, wednesday evening.

you spent most of your childhood together. sitting next to each other at every service, sharing your bibles with each other whenever one of you left them at home, sneaking donuts away from the box at the table outside the sermon hall that was supposed to only be for the adults.

you did everything together, and told each other everything. that is, until you reached middle school. boys and girls weren’t allowed to sit in the same services anymore, and you had to stay in separate buildings for every church camp and conference. 

the worst part was you didn’t even understand why. what did they think you were gonna do with him? kiss him? no amount of money in the world could get you to do that! joshua was your best friend. who else were you supposed to climb trees and build forts and sneak donuts with? kissing was stupid.

when you asked your mom about it, she told you the same thing everyone else did: about how men of god had a different path and needed to hear different messages in order to grow up to lead their own churches one day. you thought it was stupid. what if a woman wanted to lead a church, why are men the ones that have to do it? but she would just shake her head and tell you it's just the way things work in the church, you'll understand when you're older.

you were allowed near him less and less until the only time you were able to see him was at the after-service brunch with his family, and even then that began to happen less and less as the years went on.

and of course it was church rules, so there was no arguing with them because that would mean arguing with god, and who were you to question his authority? there would be no special exception for you, no matter how much you protested to your mom that you would never, ever think about joshua like that. in a fit of anger one day you blew up at her, shouting that she had had friends of the opposite gender when she was in high school, so why couldn’t you? it wasn’t fair. but she had just sighed and stared out the window, clearly ending the conversation. many years passed before she finally told you about her life before she came to church, recalling all the times she had been hurt by men she had loved and trusted. you understood then why she had wanted to keep you sheltered and safe, but you still didn’t agree. but then again, if you had been allowed to do what you wanted then maybe things would never have ended up the way they did. perhaps you have her to thank.

back then, all you could do was hold on to the little time you had with him until eventually you stopped seeing him altogether. 

more summers passed and you started spending all of your time memorizing bible verses with your fellow “women of christ”, missing the way you used to spend your time with your best friend.

but then you went off to bible college like had always been planned for you, and everything changed. instead of continuing to follow the strict schedule that was laid out for you, you finally got a little taste of freedom, and you realized what you’d been missing all this time. everything that you’d been taught was sinful, evil, wicked, was what brought you more pleasure than you’d ever known was possible.

you still had to pretend to be a good girl for the people around you, who, for reasons you couldn’t comprehend, were still dedicated to their life of purity. or at least they acted like it. maybe everyone was secretly just like you, hiding their sins behind a friendly smile and a firm handshake every sunday morning.

you weren’t hurting anyone with the things you did in private, and the feeling of rebellion was a kind of satisfaction you didn’t know you were allowed to feel. you were an adult, making your own choices now and facing whatever consequences that came with them.

there was only one consequence. for some reason, all the impure thoughts you had always centered around joshua. no matter what dirty books you read or videos you watched, the man you always pictured giving it to you was joshua.

you hated that after all these years, everything still came back to him. you fought it, tried imagining actors or celebrities in his place instead; characters from your books and movies and shows, anyone but him. you wanted to save whatever memories you had left of him, think of him in a good light like you used to when you were younger, but the way he plagued your mind was worse than the ones in the book of exodus.

but now, in your final year of college, you thought you had finally gotten yourself under control.

that is, until you were leaving one of your bible lectures and all the control you’d convinced yourself that you had crumbled away in mere seconds when you saw a startlingly familiar face standing by the door. a face you hadn’t seen in far too long. 

“joshua?”

“hey,” he says with a smile, like no time has passed at all. like it’s been hours since you’ve seen each other, not years. 

there are so many things you want to say, so many things you want to ask him, but you’re frozen in place. why is he here? where has he been? how did he find you again?

“it’s been a while,” he says with an awkward laugh when you don’t say anything.

you nod, still in a daze. “yeah. quite a while.”

he smiles. “well, anyway, i’ve got a meeting to go to in a bit, but… i just wanted to see you.”

“oh,” you say. what else is there to say? what can you say to make up for the years lost that you’ll never get back?

he looks at his watch, the conversation clearly coming to an end.

“can i give you my phone number?” he says. a deep shade of pink creeps into his cheeks but he either doesn’t notice or purposely doesn’t acknowledge it. “maybe we can talk sometime, catch up.”

“i– yeah,” you manage. god, it’s so good seeing him again. “yeah, that would be really nice.”

you’ve given up on homework for the night, spending your entire afternoon in a daze since you ran into joshua.

so many years, yet you still can’t get his smile out of your head.

you close your eyes, hand dipping below the waistband of your pajama pants automatically. it’s frightening how easily you’re able to bring up a picture of him in your mind, so much clearer than before now that you’ve seen what he looks like all grown up.

and grown up, he has. you had been too stunned to get a good look at him while he was in front of you, but the way he’d changed was immediately apparent and the image in your brain now feels almost unreal. 

his hair was a little longer and a little darker, and he was much taller, with broad shoulders that looked way too perfect in a suit jacket. but his face hadn’t changed a bit. maybe his jaw was a little bit sharper and his smile lines were a little bit deeper, but his eyes were the same ones you had always known. 

your hand slips lower and lower until you’re gently running the tips of your fingers over the panel of your underwear covering your pussy, moaning quietly when you feel how wet you are already.

no wonder it’s been so hard for you to focus all day. you’ve been too busy pushing away thoughts of joshua burying his fingers in your tight, wet cunt, cooing about how good you’re being for him and how long he’s waited for you.

automatically you feel your other hand grabbing for your phone, desperate to hear his voice again. you hadn’t said more than a few sentences to him earlier, but you feel like you’ll go crazy if you don’t hear him while you’re in this state. so needy for him and only him, and he doesn’t even know it.

your fingers shake as you press the buttons, knowing you’re about to get yourself into a whole world of trouble but not being able to stop yourself.

“hey.” he answers on the second ring. his tone is deep and husky, and your breath catches in your throat for a second, not used to hearing him talk like that; the last time you heard his voice was long before puberty, and you’re still navigating how to talk to this older, sexier joshua.

your first thought is to wonder if his morning voice sounds equally as sexy, but you’re immediately pushing it out of your head when you hear what sounds like him stifling a yawn.

“sorry, did i wake you? it– it’s not important,” you start, ashamed of how needy you are that you’d call him in the middle of the damn night, unprovoked, like some kind of bible group booty call.

the regret is already starting to set in. he probably hasn’t changed as much as you've built him up in your mind, probably still the obedient gentleman he was before. he’s probably already well on his way to being the head of a church, so of course he wouldn’t be thinking about you like that—

“no. it’s fine,” he says, interrupting your thoughts. “always have time for you, sweetheart. what’s up?”

you shove down the butterflies that flutter up in your stomach at the name he calls you, a nickname he always called you when you were kids because he was taught it was always polite to talk sweet to a lady. 

except it feels so much different now. talking sweet to a lady as kids was easy, innocent. but one wrong word now would completely change the meaning behind those pretty words of his, and you aren’t sure how to feel about it.

“i… just– it’s been so long, joshie,” you whisper, surprised at the sudden feeling of tears springing up behind your eyes. you didn’t mean for this to happen— you didn’t mean for any of it to happen. not back then, and certainly not now.

he lets the line go quiet, finally sighing into the phone after a long pause. “i missed you… so much.” he murmurs your name, and the way the rumble in his voice goes straight through you immediately reminds you why you called him in the first place.

your free hand toys with the hem of your underwear again, fighting to keep down the whimper that threatens to escape you. “missed you too,” you breathe out. god, you can’t believe you’re doing this. but for the first time in years, the man you’ve been picturing in your head is right here with you, fulfilling some of your fantasies that you never thought could ever come true.

somewhere deep in your stomach you feel guilty about it, getting off to the thought of him and he doesn’t even know it. would he want to know? would he be okay with it? would he hate you forever if he knew?

he clears his throat, snapping you back to attention and you realize you must’ve been silent for a while, thinking.

“um, so, what are you doing?” you ask, trying to seem casual, but it comes out as anything but. nobody calls anyone this late at night and asks what they’re doing without having a dirty reason for doing so. 

all you can do is hope he’s either too innocent to pick up on it, or that he doesn’t believe you’re the type of person who would call for something like that. you wonder if he still thinks of you as that perfect little obedient church girl he grew up with.

“nothing, just–working on… stuff,” he replies awkwardly. clearly he doesn’t want to go into detail about what he’s doing, and you’re already afraid you’ve interrupted his sleep; you’re mentally kicking yourself for all the blunders you’ve made, and you haven’t even been on the phone for five minutes.

“what are you doing?” he asks back, and you freeze, trying to come up with some excuse, anything. fuck, think of something!

“h-homework,” you sputter out, attempting to hide your unconfident answer with a cough.

apparently it works, because he hums in response, the line falling quiet. you hear the rustling of papers on his end, and you press your fingers harder against your cunt, heartbeat racing in your ears.

your fingers brush against your clit a little rougher than you intend, and a little whine escapes your lips, catching you off guard. you slap a hand over your mouth, hoping it had been too quiet for him to hear and he hadn’t been paying attention.

“are you…?” he asks suddenly, and your cheeks flush, caught red-handed in your sinful act.

you clear your throat, praying (both metaphorically and literally) that he doesn’t notice anything off about you. “am i what?”

his silence on the other end of the phone speaks volumes.

“joshua, oh my god, no, i–”

“what did you just say?”

you freeze. “what… did i say?”

when he speaks again, his tone is even. “don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”

that nickname again, and now you know he’s doing it on purpose. innocent, pretty words, completely changed in a split second.

you let out a short laugh, scrambling to find a cover. “must’ve forgot then.”

he hums. “i remember you spent a whole month trying to memorize the ten commandments. we must’ve been what, eight or nine? you wouldn’t have forgotten. i may not have seen you since we were kids, but i’ve still known you most of my life.”

“it was an accident, you know how it is. just slips out. of course i remember them all.”

he tsks, and it feels like your heart stops. “did you forget that lying is a sin, too? you’re two for two now, wanna try for a third?”

damn him! damn his good memory and damn his stupid witty comebacks and damn the way he so quickly manages to unravel you.

you scowl and don’t respond to his question, your silence enough of an answer for joshua to know he’s right.

“why did you call me tonight?” he asks calmly.

you answer truthfully this time. “just wanted to hear your voice again. i really did miss you.”

the phone goes quiet again, and for a second you’re afraid he’s hung up, but then you hear him exhale. “it’s late. what are you doing?”

“i’m in bed, josh. don’t worry, father, i’m not staying up past my bedtime.”

he chooses to ignore your remark. “in bed doing what?”

you give him a half-suppressed laugh. “in bed laying down. what else would i be doing?”

“well, with the way you were trying to hide your moans earlier, i would’ve figured you were doing something more exciting. but if you’re just laying down, then i don't want to keep you long, might as well hang up…”

“no!” you squeak out, cutting him off. you swallow, trying to collect yourself as you repeat the word. “no. fine, whatever, you caught me. but– please, stay.” you can hear the plea in your voice and you know you should be embarrassed at how pathetic you sound, but you aren't. the only thing you can think about is joshua, joshua, joshua, and how good it feels to talk to him again.

“i’m here,” he says softly, and you let your eyes close with a sigh, relieved he’s not going to chastise you. but as much as you’ve both changed as you grew up, deep down you knew he wouldn’t. you figure you could do just about anything and he wouldn’t try to tell you what to do. he’d always been like that, and it’s what you’d loved about him; he never tried to control you or shame you for not acting like the perfect little angel everybody wanted you to be. 

you couldn’t say the same about others in the church. maybe that’s why you’d started to drift away from them and why joshua’s friendship coming to an end had left you so devastated. he had been the one and only person you could always count on, and they had not.

“are you still there?” he asks gently, and you realize you’ve been quiet for too long thinking.

“yeah,” you say finally.

“are you still touching yourself?”

you pause, stifling a gasp, taken aback by his forwardness. hearing him say it out loud made everything seem so real, the realization setting in about what you’re actually doing. “n– no.”

and it’s true. your hand has long since dropped away from your pajama pants, too nervous about being discovered to continue.

“well, why not?” he says. “don’t stop on my account.”

your mouth falls open. “i–”

“clearly you wanted something from me when you called. what is it, sweetheart? i can’t help you if i don’t know what it is you want.”

your brain practically short circuits at that, and it takes a very long minute for you to collect your thoughts into a coherent sentence. you want a lot of things, but you don’t know what’s okay to say or not or if he even wants to keep going. which is a silly thought, because he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know. it dawns on you that maybe… maybe he’s curious, maybe he’s thinking about you, too.

“what kind of help?” you ask, still testing the waters. you think you have an idea of what he means, but you ask anyway. you’ve never done anything like this with anyone else, only by yourself; not because you didn’t want to, but because you didn’t want it to be with someone who wasn’t joshua.

“you said you wanted to hear my voice,” he says, and you swear his tone has dropped an octave. “then let me talk to you.”

you whine a little, still holding back but not putting in as much effort to hide it. “m’kay.”

“would it make you feel better if i told you i’m hard right now?”

you suck in a breath. “yeah?”

“yeah,” he says. “just thinking about you.”

you feel a rush of emotion at his admittance. pride? satisfaction? whatever it is, it makes your cunt throb, knowing that just the thought of you can get him going.

finally you dare to slide your hand down your pants again, unsurprised when you find your underwear sticking to you with how wet you are. you’re soaking, and you haven’t even done anything yet.

“hold on,” you manage, putting the call on speaker as you set your phone on the table beside your bed, scrambling to shove your pants and ruined panties off and onto the floor.

once free, you pick up your phone and turn off the speaker, holding it to your ear with shaky hands.

“all ready now?” he asks softly, and it reminds you of what he used to say before you’d play pretend games together. always making sure you were ready. he was hot back then, too, and you mentally curse yourself for never realizing it sooner.

you hum. “mhm. comfortable.”

“good,” he says, and you can almost hear him smiling. “go ahead and do whatever you’d like. but i want you to tell me what you’re thinking about right now.”

you squirm a little on the bed as you start to circle your clit with your fingers. “thinking about you, joshua,” you sigh, finally beginning to feel relief.

“yeah?”

“yeah. you look even better than i thought you would,” you groan, picking up your pace a little as you slip your index finger inside your walls.

he chuckles. “oh, really?”

“mhm. god, i never thought i’d be doing this. especially not with you.”

“and why is that, baby?”

the name makes you shiver. you’d imagined him calling you it many times, but hearing him actually say it is completely different.

“because—” you whimper, losing your train of thought when your brain suddenly pictures his fingers inside you instead of your own. “i’m so close already, please—”

his tone is gentle but firm. “i want you to stop now.”

“but– ah, feels so good, shua,” you say, moans spilling out of you, finally letting him hear everything you’ve been holding back.

you hear him curse in that low voice through the phone, and your hand stills for a split second in shock, your eyes widening. as far as you knew, he never swore. but then again, there were a lot of things he never did that you're discovering about him now. looks like you weren’t the only one who changed over the years.

“that’s not my name.”

you sit up a little in confusion, pushing your phone closer to your ear to make sure you’re hearing him right. “huh?”

“my name is joshua. if you’re gonna moan like a sinner about how good it feels when i tell you how to touch yourself, you better use my name properly.” he sounds almost angry, but it only spurs you on even further.

you let his words sink for a second before responding. “yes, sir.”

“fuck,” he moans, he actually moans, and if you weren’t already so far gone you would’ve stopped to listen closer, to ingrain the noise in your brain so you never again forget how he sounds. “what did i just tell you?”

“what, you don’t like being called ‘sir’? thought you wanted to be a pastor, joshua,” you say with a smirk, and you know he hears the mischief in your voice, daring him to give you what you want.

it’s probably a good thing he’s not physically in the room with you, because there's no way you would have been able to muster up the courage to say something like that to his face. you wouldn’t have dared to even look him in the eyes, but being on the phone gives you a head rush. because with only his voice and not seeing his face, you can convince yourself that he still isn’t real, that this whole phone call and even your meeting earlier had just been an elaborate figment of your horny imagination, your denial being the only thing saving your last shred of dignity.

“didn’t realize you’d grow up to be even more of a brat than you were before,” he scoffs, and your cunt pulses. 

“what are you doing right now?” you say, a little desperately. the change of subject isn’t very subtle but you don’t care. you won’t lie, you’ve been curious since the start of what he’s doing but he’s been so focused on you he hasn’t said anything about himself. you want to know everything about him— how he’s moving his hands, where he puts pressure, what he thinks about to get himself closer and closer.

he grunts unceremoniously. “i’m fucking my hand and pretending it’s you.”

“me too,” you whimper, closing your eyes as you focus on the movement of your fingers.

after a while he stops responding, and you can hear his heavy breaths over the line matching with your own gasps for air as you curl your fingers inside of you. you figure he must be getting close, but you ask him anyway, because you want to hear him say it.

“yeah– fuck, so close,” he chokes out, and the way his voice gets higher as he lets out a whimper is what finally makes you come undone.

with a moan of his name—his full name—you cum, clenching around your fingers as you struggle to keep your hand moving. your wrist is starting to cramp up a little from the position you’ve been in, but the pleasure coursing through you is more than worth it. it’s almost dizzying, more powerful than any orgasm you’ve had before and when you finally remove your fingers from your aching cunt your head is spinning and your heart is pounding.

you can hear a muffled string of curses through the phone and you know he’s right behind you. thoughts of him sitting on his bed run rampant in your head, imagining his stomach covered in milky cum and his pretty, pretty lips parted as he catches his breath.

the silence is heavy as you feel yourself come back down from your high. you struggle to find something to say after… whatever that just was, so you say the only thing that’s on your mind.

“i really did miss you, joshua,” you say quietly. unlike before, there’s not a hint of teasing in the way you say his name now.

and he sighs contentedly, finally hearing his name on your lips like he always wanted to. “i know. i missed you too.”

you both say your goodbyes and good nights quickly, still basking in enough of the remnants of your orgasms to not be too awkward about it. but after you’re settled in bed (for real, this time) and about to fall asleep, you can’t help but wonder if things between you and joshua will ever be anything but awkward.

a memory surfaces: you and joshua running around at the park behind the church after a sunday evening service, no older than kindergarteners, laughing and playing until you collapse on the grass. your mom called for you both to get ready to go home, and no you’re not allowed to have a sleepover because it’s a school night but maybe this weekend if his mom is okay with it. before you ran off, he thrust his pinky out towards you and you shook on it, making a pact to always be best friends, even when you can’t have sleepovers. it didn’t ever occur to either of you that there might come a day where you wouldn’t be best friends.

you don’t remember what prompted him to make the pinky promise, but you know he’s never broken it. and you can only hope that he hasn’t forgotten it.

it’s a few days later at one of your bible study groups when you see him next, and yet again you’re caught off-guard like a deer in headlights.

you’re sitting with a group of other ladies, annotating material for a test you couldn’t care less about when you hear your name called out– a familiar deep voice you can only pray doesn’t belong to who you think it belongs to.

oh, but it does belong to him, alright. it feels like you’ve gotten the wind knocked out of you when you turn around and see joshua standing behind you, a warm smile on his face that makes you doubt anything ever happened. maybe it really was all just a delirious dream, too many years of yearning built up into one intense wet dream.

he puts a hand on your shoulder lightly, turning you away from the rest of the ladies. “hey, can we talk somewhere?”

and oh shit it was definitely not a dream.

your cheeks burn as you excuse yourself from the table, packing up your bible and pens and shoving everything in your bag as quickly as you can. you can almost hear the snickering already, the gossips whispering to each other that you must have done something unspeakable if the top-student, pastor’s son, joshua hong has to speak with you privately. ah, if only they knew.

you only wish you could go back there and wipe the smirks off of all their faces and tell them about what the perfect little gentlemen they all pretend they don’t have crushes on was doing on the phone with you last night. you wouldn’t do that, not in a million years, but just the thought of it is satisfaction enough. 

joshua leads you down the hall to a room that looks like an empty office. he opens the door for you, then closes it softly behind you.

“whose is this?” you ask, glancing around the room. 

“it’s… mine,” he says almost shyly, gesturing idly to a little engraved nameplate on the desk. joshua hong, pastor’s assistant. because of fucking course he would be.

“oh.”

he clears his throat, and in that moment you realize he’s just as nervous as you are. “listen…” he starts, taking a pause. “about the other night–”

“are you gonna kick me out?” you interrupt.

his brows knit together in confusion. “what?”

“are you gonna expel me?”

“no?” he says, still looking at you, baffled. “why would i do that? i don’t even think i have the power to, even if i wanted. which, for the record, i don’t.”

you don’t reply, focusing your gaze on the carpet instead.

he frowns. “is that really how you think of me? that i just go around tattling to my dad? from that… conversation, i thought it was clear i’m not like that anymore.”

the tips of your ears are burning at the memory of all the things you said to each other over the phone. but it never occurred to you that maybe he was just as sinful as you had been.

you stay quiet, the silence stretching on as shame and embarrassment and a hundred other emotions swirl in your mind and you struggle to figure out what to say.

luckily for you he fills the silence himself. he exhales, looking down at a stack of papers on the desk. “god, you… you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought about you all the time.”

“so did i,” you manage to whisper. “in more ways than you know.”

he gives you a teasing smile. “oh, i have a feeling i do know.”

you hold back a cough and look away, focusing your attention on a painting of flowers on the wall. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“if that’s how you wanna play this, fine.”

your curiosity piques, and you look back at him. he motions to the seat in front of the desk, wordlessly asking you to sit. hesitantly you do, and he starts to sit down at the swivel chair behind the desk, but you clear your throat and he glances up.

“can– can you not sit over there?” you ask softly. “feels like i’m being scolded.”

his expression softens a little, and he rolls the chair back into place, opting to sit next to you instead. “of course.”

except maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to do that, because now he’s sitting toe to toe with you and the closeness is overwhelming. at least on the other side of the desk there was enough distance for you to shrink and hide behind, but here, sitting like this, he can see all of you. and you don’t particularly want to be seen right now.

the tension is palpable as he takes his seat, still watching you. you take the moment to study his features: the slope of his nose and the gentle curve of his lips, the way the light catches on his long eyelashes and the way his broad shoulders look in that perfectly tailored sunday morning service suit.

“i always liked you,” he starts, and your gaze shoots up to his eyes. you open your mouth to ask something, but he shakes his head and you immediately fall silent, letting him finish. “i was almost glad when they made us go to different sunday school classes, because i wouldn’t have to sit there and pretend i didn’t have the craziest crush on you.”

“joshua, i–” you trail off, not even knowing what to say.

he pauses, as if debating his next words. “and i know it’s wrong, but i couldn’t get you out of my head when i… y’know.” his cheeks are flushed but he doesn’t look away from you, eyes searching your own for any hesitance or any sign that you don’t want this.

it’s then that you realize that the boldness you had felt hiding behind your phone, he had felt it too. saying words alone in your room at night was easy. sitting in public, in the daylight, and saying those same words to his face was so much scarier. and knowing that you’re both feeling awkward and shy and a little uncertain of how to talk about it gives you the confidence to keep going.

“when you would what?” you pry. you already know the answer but you want to hear it come out of his mouth anyway. you’ve already heard him say it, but something about sitting in his office, in a church, speaking such filth ignites a spark in you that’s completely different from the spark you felt a few nights ago.

he clears his throat and looks you in the eye, maybe gaining a little bit of that confidence, too. “when i would jerk off i would always wish it was your sweet little mouth instead of my own hand.”

you inhale sharply, and that’s when he finally breaks eye contact, his guilt-ridden gaze shifting to the wall behind you as his cheeks burn redder. “i didn’t feel good about it. felt like i was doing it without your permission, and i didn’t want that. i–”

“yes,” you say hurriedly.

he stops short at your interruption, instantly looking back at you. “yes…?”

“yes, you have my permission. whatever you want, joshua, always.”

his eyes narrow, almost imperceptibly, but you recognize it. even after all these years, after so much has changed, you still know his tells. you wonder if he still knows yours.

he murmurs your name in response, almost like a warning. “don’t say stuff like that,” he says, letting out a shaky breath.

“why not?” you ask, feigning innocence. but you know exactly what you’re doing, and you know exactly how you affect him: the same way he affects you.

he looks up at you. “you really are just as much of a brat as you were back then, aren’t you?” he says with just a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

“why don’t you find out?”

he groans, leaning back in his chair. “do you know how long i’ve wanted to kiss you?” he says finally.

“probably just as long as i’ve wanted to kiss you,” you counter, and he raises an eyebrow.

you both stand up at the same moment, closing the distance in less than a second. 

you stare at his chest in front of you to avoid his eyes, until he brings up a hand and gently tilts your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“are– you gonna get in trouble?” you breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stare at his perfect, perfect lips.

he hums, and it sends a shiver down your spine at the close proximity. “are you still giving me permission?” he asks, and you quickly shake your head yes. 

“always.”

he smooths his thumb across your cheek. “then i won’t be in any trouble at all."

and then his hand moves to hold the back of your neck and he's tilting his head and bringing his lips towards yours and then finally, after years of dreaming about it and even more years of denying it, you're finally kissing joshua and there's so many things happening at once that you can't seem to focus on anything because your mind is so full of everything and nothing and joshua and it all just feels so right.

you’re melting in his arms and falling into his touch and enjoying every fucking second of it. your heart speeds up when his hands slide behind your back, wrapping around your body to pull you closer to him, pressed chest to chest.

he pulls away to kiss you again, and again, and again, and you decide you’d be content to be like this forever, standing in his office in the church building making out like you’re the only two people on earth. 

but finally his lips leave yours, and he takes a tiny step backwards, heaving out a shaky breath as he looks you in the eyes. “what are we gonna do now?”

your heart plummets, doubts racing through your mind. did he not like it? does he not like you? did you really just ruin everything? why did he stop? why did he ask that—

but all your questions are answered in an instant when he coughs and you look down, finally noticing the prominent bulge in his dress pants. oh. that.

when you look back up at him his cheeks are flushed bright red, and he immediately begins to apologize.

“shua,” you call out to him, repeating his name the way you know he likes. “joshua. don’t worry about it. it’s fine.”

in fact, you find it incredibly flattering, that just a few kisses and gentle touches could get him this worked up. maybe it really has been you all along.

with a surge of confidence, you step back towards him, wrapping your arms around him and leaning to kiss him. “are you busy today?” you murmur, your cheek brushing against his.

he shudders, hands automatically finding your waist and pushing your hips against his own. “no. are you?”

you sigh, kissing the corner of his mouth. “not anymore.”

“fuck,” he curses, his grip on your body tightening “you really want to…?” he asks, almost shyly, as if he’s in denial this is really happening.

“absolutely,” you say, and you’ve never meant anything more in your life.

in a second he’s got you shoved against his desk, sending papers flying to the floor as he lifts you by your ass to sit you down on top of it. your kisses turn rougher and needier, your hands grabbing at anything you can reach to ground yourself: his hair, his shoulders, his back.

finally he breaks free, dropping to his knees in front of the desk. “please, let me eat you out.”

you moan out loud, probably too loudly for the thin walls of the office. but the visual of him on his knees to do anything other than pray drives you mad, and you need more of him, desperately. “joshua, please.”

he pushes your skirt up your thighs, moving it out of his way so he can stare eye to eye with your pussy. you whimper and instinctively try to hide your face in embarrassment, but something tells you he wouldn’t like that, so you resist, keeping your hands firmly planted on the edge of the desk.

“fuck, you’re soaking,” he says, his voice broken. “you’re so perfect.”

his hands reach up to tug at the hem of your underwear, and he looks up at you, silently asking for permission to continue. you nod eagerly, lifting your hips off the desk so he can slide them off of you, revealing your glistening entrance.

he whines at the sight, pretty lips parted in shock? awe? as if he can’t wait to taste you. he pushes his face into your pussy, gently at first, but when you moan and bring your hand up to his hair he dives deeper.

the moment he attaches his mouth to your clit, you jump, gasping as you try to shut your legs around his head but his large hands keep you held open. his tongue explores every inch of you, moving back and forth, up and down, mapping out your cunt with his mouth. 

“fuck, never dreamed you’d taste so good,” he sighs against your pussy, leaning away to take a breath after what feels like forever.

your legs are shaking and your cunt is throbbing as you also try to catch your breath. you’re not used to being touched like this and you’re definitely not used to being touched by joshua. so many thoughts running through your head and not a single one of them coherent enough to put into words. all you can do is weakly whine out joshua’s name and tug on his hair, pleading for him to keep going. you need release, and you don’t want it from anyone but him.

he stands up, his pants wrinkled from kneeling on the floor but still tented with a bulge so uncomfortably large you feel dizzy just thinking about it. you don’t even know if he’s going to fuck you or even if he wants to, but god you want to see his cock so bad. too many restless nights spent thinking about it, and now you might finally have the chance to see it in front of your face.

your mouth waters at the thought, and you start to slide off the desk, but joshua stops you. “what are you…?”

you look up at him, eyes blown wide with lust and you don’t even attempt to hide your eagerness. “please let me suck your dick. joshua, please.”

he whines, running a hand through his hair. “god, i want that so bad, but… i don’t think i can last if you do, and i was really hoping to fuck you.”

you close your eyes and roll your head back, moaning at his vulgar confession. but he sighs, and he sounds almost defeated, and you look back at him quickly, afraid he’s suddenly changed his mind.

“i’m not—prepared,” he admits, and you tilt your head in confusion before it sinks in what he means.

“ah. don’t suppose you would have any condoms lying around, would you, mr. pastor’s assistant?” you ask playfully, and he shoots you a glare.

“brat,” he mutters under his breath, but you hear it, and your walls clench in response. “no, i don’t have any. not interested in anybody else, so… no reason to.” he looks like he has more to say, more serious things to say, but he keeps his mouth shut, his eyes searching your face nervously.

your stomach flips at his words, feeling your cheeks heating up. you hadn’t thought you would ever get this far, and especially not with him. because of the kind of school you were at, it wasn’t like the people here were doing the kind of things you’ve been doing—at least not publicly. even if you’d wanted to hook up with somebody (which you didn’t), everyone in your vicinity would shame you for even bringing it up. you may have experience with yourself, but anything with anyone else is completely new territory for you.

you fall silent, not sure how to continue the conversation as all your newfound confidence begins to crumble. what were you thinking? caught up in the heat of the moment, saying things you weren’t sure you meant. you were in love with him: that much you were sure of. but everything that comes after that is too new, too scary, at least for right now. you can barely even comprehend that he just went down on you, but you know you enjoyed it and honestly, you’d give anything for him to do it again. but there’s too much going on inside your head for you to even begin to process that right now.

he calls your name and you blink, looking back at him anxiously. “we… don’t have to. right now, or even at all,” he says gently. the tips of his ears are burning red but his voice is calm and steady.

“joshua, i want to,” you start, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap to give you something to focus on other than the way he’s watching you so intently. “but i– don’t know how.”

“neither do i, baby,” he says. the nickname makes you shiver; even though it’s not the first time he’s called you that, especially after the other night, you’re still not used to it. but somehow it’s comforting, and it makes you relax knowing that he’s still the same person you grew up with, the same person that knows almost everything about you. you’ve both changed so much, but deep down you haven’t changed at all.

he pauses when you don’t say anything back. “we’ll wait, then,” he says and wraps his arms around you, lightly at first but then squeezing when you don’t try to pull away. “we have all the time in the world. no need to rush.”

“we… do?” your voice is laced with uncertainty.

he smiles. “of course. i let you go once already, i’m not letting it happen again. never again.”

you turn your head away from him and hide your face, flustered by how sincere he sounds. he hums, and you can hear the pout in his tone so you fight your embarrassment and turn back towards him to ask the question that’s been weighing on your mind since you first saw him days ago. “this is gonna sound so stupid, but… shua, what are we?”

first you were childhood friends, you were best friends, and then you were nothing. right place, wrong time? and then you were… doing something on the phone together, whatever you could call that. and now you were just sitting on top of his desk, sweating from having almost had sex. how do you even begin to put a label on this?

“well, i’d like to be yours,” he says shyly, and just like that all your questions are answered with six small words. you realize it doesn’t matter what label you have; as long as you have him, that’s all that matters.

“yes,” you breathe, lifting your eyes to finally meet his and you see all the love in his eyes threatening to spill over.

he reaches up to brush a piece of your hair out of your face. “i’m just glad i finally have you back,” he says with a soft smile as he watches you. “we’ll go slow, we’ll wait— whatever you want. whatever it takes not to lose you again.”

you bury your face in his chest with a whine. you’re hiding again, but even the uncomfortable scratchiness of his dress shirt can’t pull you away from him.

“besides, i don’t want our first time together to be in my stupid little office,” he chuckles and holds you tighter against him, pressing a kiss to the top of your head that makes your heart flutter. “you deserve better than that.”

you stay there for a long moment, hugging him like it's the last time you'll ever see him. but this time you know it won't be the last. it's the first, the first of hopefully many, many more.

when you feel like you've been standing there too long, you clear your throat and lean your head back to look at him. "so, um… now what?"

he pauses, those pretty lips turned up in a smile. "do you have plans for lunch?"

"no, i just had that study group you pulled me from. i'm free for the rest of the day."

his smile widens. "perfect. you still like grilled cheese, or did you grow out of that, too?"

you laugh, putting your chin on his shoulder as you hug him. "i haven't changed that much, shua."

after taking a while to collect yourselves (waiting for his erection to go back down so you can leave together without looking suspicious), you walk out of joshua’s office the happiest you've felt in years.

he'd wanted to hold your hand, too, but you were still anxious about anyone seeing you together that you'd refused him until you made it to his car. you were probably just being paranoid and no one would care about two responsible adults talking to each other, but all the time you'd spent hiding from your peers had put you on edge.

so, it wasn't until you were safely out of the church parking lot and in the driveway of his apartment complex that you let him touch you, kissing you over the cupholders with his hands gently holding your neck.

it took everything in you not to climb over the center console and sit on his lap in the driver's seat and kiss him as hard and as deeply as you really wanted, but you knew once you started you wouldn't be able to stop. and besides, he still didn't have any condoms. it didn't bother you either way, since you'd been taking birth control since high school to help with your periods, but if it was what he wanted you'd be more than fine with it.

you don't know what you'd been expecting the inside his apartment to look like; probably some tacky cross-stitch bible verses or a wooden cross hanging on the wall, but his apartment just looked like… a normal apartment. a very clean apartment, actually, though you weren't surprised. he'd always been a neat, organized kid, and it looked like that was one thing he hadn't grow out of.

you watch as he puts his keys on a hook by the door, following him into the kitchen and sitting at one of the chairs.

he grins at you as he opens his refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients for your lunch before taking out a pan.

"shua…" you interrupt him, standing up and walking towards him slowly. "you're not— really thinking about grilled cheese sandwiches right now, are you?"

he hums, eyes following your every movement as the pan sits cold and abandoned on the stove. "there are… other things on my mind, yeah."

"so why are you still trying to make grilled cheese sandwiches?"

by now you're close enough to stand toe to toe with him, and you're sure he can feel the heat radiating off your body when he wraps his hands around your waist, backing you against the kitchen counter. "because i wanna make you lunch. maybe i just wanna spoil my girl a little bit."

a shiver runs down your spine at the new name he calls you. never in a million years did you think this is where you'd end up.

"i think you have all the time in the world to spoil me later, joshua," you mumble, leaning in closer and closer until your lips touch.

in a flash he's hoisting you up and sitting you on the counter. his mouth never leaves yours as you slide your legs around his hips to drag him closer, kisses growing deeper and more desperate now that you can finally be alone together.

his hands slide down your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt and only breaking apart for a second to slide it over your head before his lips are crashing against yours again. 

your hands find his hips, experimentally tugging on his belt to see his reaction. immediately he pulls away from you, 

cheeks flushed and breathing heavily. "sweetheart, i still don't have any condoms. if you really want to now, then we gotta run to the store first."

“i’m on the pill,” you burst out, hoping he gets the message. maybe he has some other reason for wanting to, but you're too impatient to wait for who knows how long it'll take to go to the store, and you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off him for that long. you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off of him for even a few seconds.

his face goes blank as he processes your words, struggling to understand if you’re saying what he thinks you’re saying. “you’d let me…?”

you grab onto his arms, a desperate attempt to pull him closer, to feel more of him. “raw, yes, joshua. just—please, i need you,” you beg him, cunt throbbing with neglect as you wait for him to answer. 

he buries his face in your shoulder with a groan, gripping his hands underneath your thighs and sliding you off the counter.

with a shriek you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, holding on tightly as he starts to walk out of the kitchen carrying you. "joshua! what the hell are you doing?"

his face is still pressed against your shoulder, and you can feel his lips tickling your bare skin as he speaks. "i'll fuck you on my kitchen counter any day of the week, baby, but i want to have you for the first time in my bed, please?"

his voice is low and whiny, just as desperate for you as you are for him and it makes you moan with excitement. 

he finds his way into his room, stumbling a little when he accidentally runs you into the wall instead of through the doorway, but you just giggle and kiss him harder until he finally drops you on his bed, immediately unbuttoning his shirt.

you run your hands along his chest as he leans over you, feeling the toned muscle that feels almost wrong to be seeing. his physical changes are much more obvious to you now that he's like this, and you know the image will fuel your fantasies for weeks.

your hands move to his belt again and this time he allows it, letting you unbuckle it and toss it away before slowly lowering the zipper. he's already hard again, and your heart races when you put a little bit of pressure on the seam and he lets out a guttural groan in response.

his arms flex as he reaches down to slide your skirt off, and you help him and kick the fabric away, leaving both of you in nothing but your underwear.

joshua pauses, letting his gaze wander your body as you look away shyly. he hums and you look back at him in confusion. "don't hide from me, sweetheart, please," he says, but it comes out more like a whine; not like he's asking, but like he's begging. it's honestly the hottest thing you've ever heard, and even with your nerves he makes it hard to resist.

"dreamt about this for fucking years. years," he moans as he leans over to kiss your chest, reaching behind your body to undo your bra and let it fall away. you whimper when he brings his hands up to cup your breasts, wrapping his mouth around one of your nipples as he starts to slowly grind against your clothed pussy. you can already feel yourself soaking through your panties, and you're sure he can feel it, too.

his hands are like nothing you've ever felt, and you roll your head back against his pillows, arching into him as he massages your breasts with his large hands. you'd noticed them before, but you hadn't realized just how big they were until they were on top of you and made your body seem almost tiny beneath his massive palms.

"shua…" you breathe, tentative hands reaching up to touch his shoulders.

he looks up at you, mouth covered in spit. "yes, angel?"

you whimper at the nickname. no angel you'd ever learned about in sunday school had acted like you are right now, begging a man to fuck you. and on top of that it was before marriage, too; surely if there was a god they would be extremely disappointed in you. but right now you didn't care if the entire universe was disappointed in you, as long as joshua hong wasn't.

it takes you a few more seconds to build up your courage, but finally you open your mouth and tell him, "joshua, please— fuck me."

he slides forward to kiss you again, before sitting back and repositioning himself between your legs. "anything you want, sweetheart."

he lines his cock up at your entrance, and just before you think he's about to push into you, he looks up at you instead. 

"i love you, so much," he says, and you have to fight the urge to hide your face as you grin and giggle like a fucking schoolgirl; like the past version of you would have, if she'd had any sense and figured everything out sooner.

and, like always, he asks, "ready?", and you nod, and it's better than you could've ever imagined.

the whines that leave his mouth drive you close to the edge already as he begins to thrust into you, slowly, gently, just a little bit at a time but it still leaves you gasping from his size.

he keeps moving at a snail's pace until you reach up, fumbling to grab at his bicep as tears nearly spill out of your eyes and beg him, "joshua, more, please."

he leans over you, pressing his body flat against yours as he starts to rock his hips faster, and you cry out from so much pleasure and so much emotion hitting all at once.

"wanted you so fucking bad, for so long, and now you're finally here," he whispers, his thrusts never faltering despite how close in proximity he is to your face.

you whine as your hands claw at his back, digging in as you struggle to hold on and he curses again, pushing into you harder.

"you said i was better than you imagined," he groans, one hand coming up to caress your cheek. "but you're even better than i imagined. you're a fucking angel, so fucking beautiful."

you gasp his name, falling into your orgasm from his words alone as you clench impossibly tight around him. you always thought of him as the nice kid, the rule follower, but here he is, fucking you through the hardest orgasm of your life and saying such filthy things in between praises and compliments.

"jo-oshua, please!" is all you can manage, still struggling to recover before he crests into his own high with a whimper. his eyes scrunch up as he releases inside you, eyelashes fluttering and sweat dripping down his temples, and you think it's the most beautiful sight you've ever seen. 

a constant stream of curses fall from his lips and you swallow them with yours, kissing him as if you're afraid he might disappear into thin air if you don't hold onto him tight enough.

his breaths are shallow when his mouth falls away from you, resting his forehead on your shoulder with a long exhale.

"god…" he starts, then stops and laughs, and you have to tug on his hair to make him face you again.

"what are you laughing at?" you say, cheeks growing hot when he looks at you with droopy, hooded eyes and a lopsided smile.

"nothing," he laughs. "just god. what a funny word."

"and why is that, baby?" you say as you try to hold back a smile, testing out the nickname.

he grins. "because it gave me you. or maybe it didn't. who knows?"

you finally laugh along with him, remembering what he'd said to you on the phone that feels like years ago. "don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”

the church is humming with activity as you make your way to the front pew, carrying two donuts in your hand. people greet you as they mingle about the hall, talking and laughing. some wave excitedly when they see you, others simply smile and offer their hand for you to shake with a friendly “good morning and god bless!”

being a pastor’s wife isn’t something you ever imagined yourself doing, but then again, a lot of things in your life you never imagined doing. you never imagined seeing joshua again, and you never imagined marrying him, either. you certainly didn’t imagine taking over your father-in-law’s church when he retired and decided it was time for joshua to take his place as head of the church. you always knew he would someday, whether he wanted to or not, but you’d be happy to spend the rest of your life by his side no matter where he was or what job he had.

you’d been almost nervous when you decided it was finally time to tell your parents you had been seeing each other, but to your surprise they had been overjoyed at the news. both his family and yours were “just so glad when it happened to be you!”, saying things like “we’d always known it would happen, back since you were children!”, and “so when are we going to get some beautiful little grandchildren to take to sunday school!”

it had been five long and happy years since that very first phone call, and every minute you spend with joshua has been the best of your life.

you walk up the steps to the stage where your husband is waiting, flipping through his notes for the morning’s sermon. you hand him his donut with a grin, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. he smirks at you, imperceptible to everyone else but you can tell what it truly means.

everybody in the congregation always talks you’re the perfect example of a happy, god-loving couple. such nice looking people, so well put together. but behind closed doors, they’d be horrified by the things you say and do together. wolf in sheep’s clothing, as is your husband’s favorite parable to preach.

it’s not the life you imagined, but it’s perfect to you and him.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging with tags or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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#1k #kflixnet #k-labels #[📌] — june.writes #[💟] — joshua #[❤️] — smut #[💙] — angst #joshua smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #joshua hong smut #joshua imagines #joshua x reader #joshua hong #svt imagines #svt fanfic #seventeen fanfic #joshua fanfic

[ponderingmoonlight]

can you pleaseee make a sequel to the "jjk men hurting y/n" (gojo part) where their son wonders if they can marry y/n when they grow up. you know what i mean.

(also oh my goddddd that fic had me rolling in bed giggling and kicking my legs 😭😭😭😭)

Nothing better than that, thank you so much for your request and liking my work<3

Part l can be found here under Gojo's part

Gojo's and (y/n)'s son wanting to marry (y/n)

Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,2k

Warnings: fluffness overload

Tags: @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @defnotriri @smarsd @sharycatx3 @kaiserkisser @sanicsmut

As usual, feel free to leave a comment or reblog <3

What happened on that fateful day of the night parade was hard to swallow for both you and Satoru. That unimaginable grief of the breakup when all he wanted to do was to save you. Suguru who wanted to not only kill you but Yuta for your abilities and died himself.

It was all too much to handle, a test for both of you.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? I told you I’m pregnant, that I’m expecting your child and you-….You looked at me with nothing but hatred in your eyes…”

“I’m so sorry, (y/n). Believe me, it killed me from the inside to be so cold to you when in reality, I wanted nothing more than holding you in my arms and tell everyone. But there was no other way. If I’d told you about Suguru’s plan, you would have insisted on coming to Tokyo. And if I didn’t and you’d find out yourself, you would have been absolutely mad and would have been there anyway. Please, all I wanted was to keep you safe. I had no other choice…”

For the first time in your relationship, you saw Satoru Gojo cry in front of you, his hands wrapped around your face. Oh, if you only knew how hard it was for him, how it broke his very own heart within these three cursed weeks.

But now you’re here, safe and sound.

“What happened to Suguru?”

Your innocent question pierced his heart like a knife. Satoru wanted to break down in front of you, too overwhelmed by everything that happened over the last weeks.

But he had to be strong. For you and his unborn baby.

“He didn’t make it.”

Your heart dropped, arms instinctively wrapped around your boyfriend’s trembling frame. Oh, your Satoru. All the things he had to endure over this time. Despite you had every reason to be mad at him you simply can’t. He did this for you, after all. And who knows at what cost.

“We’ll get through this together, okay? You, me and our baby.”

And after months of grieving and talking everything out, you did eventually. You did live through it all: the difficult pregnancy, you almost dying during birth, Satoru getting sealed at Shibuya, the loss of many good friends. It was never easy, you thought about giving up all too often.

But now you’re sitting at the kitchen table with your three year old beautiful son who owns the eyes of his gorgeous father and your hair color.

“Good morning my lovelies”, Satoru purrs against your ear before gently placing a kiss on your cheek.

“Stop that!” your son suddenly shouts, gazing at your husband and his very own father visibly upset.

Huh, what has gotten into him today? Normally he doesn’t mind much when Satoru shows you affection. You tilt your head to the side, Satoru nods towards you.

“What, are you jealous, young man?” Satoru asks challengingly, sitting down next to his son who crawls into his lap immediately.

“You can’t just kiss mama like that because I wanna marry her!” the little boy in front of you announces, determination sparkling in his blue orbs.

Satoru and you stare at each other bamboozled and before you can help yourself, a little giggle escapes your lips. Is this why he was acting so weird? Where does this thought come from?

“You wanna marry her?” Satoru repeats.

“I learned that you kiss at a wedding. So you can’t kiss mommy!”

“Oh, I understand. And how did you get the idea of marrying her?” Satoru continues the conversation.

Your heart feels like exploding in warmth, pure joy speeding through your veins. Seeing your sweet little angel sitting on his father’s lap while announcing that he’ll marry you makes tears sting in your eyes. After all the things you’ve been through, the fights, the injuries, the worries, is this really your life right now? Sitting at the breakfast table while having a delightful conversation with your family?

“I love my mama because she makes me brave.”

Satoru’s eyes dart towards you, so touched by the words of your little one that you can immediately see the glossy shine in them. It’s still like a dream to him, sitting here in peace with both of you by his side. This was definitely worth all the fights and losses he had to endure over the last years. This precious little moment of innocence and pure love.

“Y’know little man, just because you love someone you can’t automatically marry that person. That here is your ma, which means you can’t marry her. If someone gets to marry her that would be me”, Satoru clarifies with his oh so sweet voice.

You desperately try to hold back tears. The love you hold for your little family is more than you could ever explain, deeper than any ocean on this planet. Your son might not be aware of it know, but the fact that he’s sitting here so unbothered was never granted, that all of this will work out was never given.

But now it is. Now you’re sitting there all together. And your son just announced that he wants to marry you.

“But why can you marry her and I not?” he requests, lips forming that little pout that reminds you so much of his father.

“Because you already have her as your wonderful mama. Leave some for the rest”, Satoru replies.

Your son shrieks in his father’s loving arms as he begins to tickle him, laughter filling the room. If anyone would have told you 5 years ago that this will be your life, you would have laughed at him. You really thought this world has no joy for you left, that you and Satoru are cursed through being jujutsu sorcerers.

But that child in front of your very own eyes isn’t a curse. No, it is a true blessing just like Satoru himself. You can’t help but admire him for his strength, for his never ending optimism in this world that tried to tear him down multiple times. Always running back into your open arms, always looking out for you and your family. How do you even deserve him, the man in front of you who looks at your child lovingly?

“But why did you not marry her then?”

You tilt your head to the side, amused by the question of your little one.

“That’s a really good question, angel”, you comment sweetly.

Of course you know all too well that the last few years didn’t have any room for a wedding. Between so many deaths, getting sealed and constant fighting, there wasn’t enough time to arrange something like that. But still, you love to tease your boyfriend a little bit.

“I definitely will someday”, Satoru ensures, gaze set on you with a breathtaking smile.

“And I’ll be there too!” your son cries out in excitement.

“Of course you will, Suguru! Ain’t no wedding without my favorite man by my side!”

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #jujutsu gojo #gojo saturo #gojou satoru x reader #gojo fluff #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen satoru #jjk anime #satoru gojo #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x reader #satoru x reader #satoru x you #gojo

[girasollake]

everything i wanted

ꨄpairing: neteyam x fem!omaticaya!reader / jake sully x reader(platonic)

ꨄrequested: no

ꨄtype: mostly angst, some fluff

ꨄsummary: you always wanted to feel appreciated, neteyam always wanted to be the best warrior; in short: u seek validation in older men cause you dont have family and because you are the best warrior, neteyam is jealous of you, the whole fic roughly follows the plot of atwow!!! ummmm kinda enemies to lovers?????

ꨄwarnings: SPOILERS AHEAD, DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN ATWOW, mentions of being shot, angst, my bad writing cause i havent written anything since september, reader is a year older than neteyam

ꨄa/n: i feel like this is so bad i am sorry

ꨄword count: 3,402

‘How could you both be so stupid?’ You threw your hands in the air and shot a glare at Neteyam. ‘You could’ve died! Does that mean nothing to you? Your father explicitly told you to observe, not engage! You are like a child Neteyam, both you and Lo’ak!’

‘I wanted to stop him, he’s just too disobedient.’ He avoided your eyes.

‘And you had to take the blame again? He’s never going to learn if you keep doing that.’ You shook your head and sighed.

‘Can you stop? I’m the oldest and I need to protect my siblings.’

‘No. No, Neteyam. I am the oldest. I may not be your sibling but I am the oldest and, believe it or not, I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to them.’

Especially you.

‘You can protect them, be a big brother, but don’t take credit for every stupid thing they do!’ You moved closer to him and snapped your fingers in front of his face to get his attention. ‘I know you want to prove your father you can be a warrior, but it doesn’t mean that you have to put your life at risk when Lo’ak does something stupid.’ You huffed. ‘Just be careful next time.’

Neteyam felt jealous of you, of the way his father trusted you enough to put you in risky missions because he knew you would survive, of the way he praised your fighting skills and of the way he put you on a pedestal. You were born during the first war with the sky people and both of your parents had died fighting. The clan surrounded you with love when you were growing up, but you had never had anyone to call a mother or a father. You were just an orphan trying to find a place alongside everyone that you crossed paths with. So, when Neteyam was jealous of you having his father approval and trust, you were jealous of him for having a real family. When you were younger you would hide behind the trees and watch them cuddle underneath the night sky, your little heart breaking and longing for this kind of comfort and love. Even though you were Omatikaya by blood you still sometimes felt like an outsider. You occupied your time with training, flying, shooting arrows and that’s why Jake was impressed, that’s why you were one of his favorite warriors and he knew he could trust you. He even got you your own gun, which Neteyam and Lo’ak were especially jealous of.

Deep down you knew what this was about. Jake cared about you, but not like he cared about his own children. That was the real reason you were sent on those missions, the reason he took you everywhere with him on fights. He just didn’t want to risk his sons life's. You knew that and you still took part in everything because those were the moments when you felt like you belong.

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

‘Can we talk?’ Jake asked from behind you.

‘Of course, sir.’ You nodded your head and stopped sharpening the spears.

He sat down next to you and sighed.

‘We are leaving tomorrow.’ He said firmly. ‘This is not a safe place for my family anymore.’

‘Oh, I see.’ You whispered, a wave of sadness ran through your whole body.

‘I want you to come with us.’ Your ear twitched and you looked up at him with hopeful eyes. ‘And I want you to promise me you will protect my children when I won’t be able to do it myself.’

‘I promise.’ You answered quickly. ‘I’ll do my best, sir.’

He smiled at you and stood up, ‘Tomorrow after the ceremony. Be ready.’ He shot you one last glance and walked away.

The next day you were waiting for the Sully family by the ikrans, your thoughts were interrupted by a loud shriek of Tuk.

‘Are you coming with us (Y/n)?’ She asked after she ran up to you.

‘I am.’ You smiled at her and after giving you a hug she ran back to her mom in order to get on an ikran with her.

While you were checking your bags attached to your own animal, you felt someone intensely staring at the back of your head. You didn’t have to turn around to know it was Neteyam. You never knew why he gave you those weird glances, a part of you wished they weren’t that hateful. At first you tried being friends with him, but after a while his behavior towards you had changed. While you were getting along with his younger siblings, he was always staying away from you, watching your every move. The relationship between you felt like some sort of rivalry, but there was always this warm feeling you couldn’t shake off when you knew he was nearby.

After a long, tiring flight to the Metkayina clan you were exhausted, the thought of laying down was the only one in your head. You made the appropriate gesture towards the Tsahik and the Olo’eyktan when they arrived and you suddenly felt really small under Ronal’s gaze. She started walking around you all, examining your tails and postures.

‘Is this also your child, Jakesully?’ She asked, you could feel her judging eyes on you.

‘No. She’s not my child, but she is the best warrior in our clan and she is important to my family.’

‘Is that true?’ She moved to look into your eyes.

‘Yes, Tsahik Ronal.’ You gave her a long nod and felt the warm feeling spreading in your heart after hearing that you were important to the Sully’s.

She whispered something to herself and went back to her husband who a moment later agreed that all of you could stay with them. You smiled to yourself when you were walking through the village following Tsireya, everything felt so fresh and untouched by war, those people didn’t live in fear unlike your clan. You dropped your belongings on the floor and went over to Neytiri to help her.

‘It’s okay, you can go with others and learn the Metkayina ways, I can handle the unpacking.’ She told you and put her hand on your arm.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, go.’ She smiled sweetly and playfully pushed you towards the exit of your new home.

You ran towards the shore and started looking for your friends. When you finally spotted them you quickly jumped into the water and swam quickly in their direction.

‘Can I join?’ You asked Tsireya when you emerged from the water.

‘Of course!’ She gave you a smile. ‘Follow us everyone.’

After swimming for a while she took all of you to meet the ilu’s and learn how to ride them. You were scared of failure, especially after seeing how fast Lo’ak let go of his ilu. Tsireya helped you get on the animal and told you that you’re gonna be okay, you just have to hold it tight.

‘How could she not be fine? She’s the best warrior after all.’ Neteyam muttered with annoyance.

‘Stop it.’ Kiri smacked his arm.

‘What? She shouldn’t be here, her place is with the clan. I don’t even get why she’s here with us in the first place.’

‘It’s not my fault your dad values my skills more than he does yours.’ You replied harshly and then without a second thought told your ilu in your mind to go forward.

You felt angry at Neteyam, rage was filling your body. You were the best for a reason and you would prove that to him. You tightened your grip on the handle attached to the animal’s body and took the biggest breath in your life before diving into the depths of the ocean. The speed was horrible and you felt your hand slowly relaxing.

No. I won’t give him the satisfaction.

You tightened your fist and held the handle even harder than before. After readjusting your position and squeezing your thighs to feel more steady you felt the oxygen slowly leaving your lungs. You shut your eyes and rode upwards, soon emerging from the water and jumping with your ilu only to dive again. You rode over to your friends and smiled at Tsireya. Everyone was impressed, because this was your first try and it definitely required special skills to get it this perfect. Annoyance was written on Neteyam’s face, he scoffed and started swimming away. You sighed and got off the ilu.

‘Neteyam, wait!’ You screamed and swam towards him.

He didn’t even look back and you reached him after you both got out of the water.

‘Neteyam, what happened?’ You touched his arm and he immediately turned around to face you.

‘You happened.’ He scoffed. ‘I am tired of you taking my place all the time. I try so hard to meet my dad’s standards and it’s never appreciated because of you!’

‘It’s not my fau-‘

‘It is. It is your fault.’ He interrupted your sentence and walked away quickly.

And there it was again. The feeling of loneliness consumed you once again, when the boy you adored walked away feeling only hatred towards you. Sure, you were often picking fights with him, replying to his comments with the same energy, but maybe this time you really did take it too far?

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

You were helping Tsireya with some of the duties one day and Neteyam was far from you, but still in your sight. You were stealing quick glances at him so that your friend wouldn’t see it, when suddenly he quickly swam away and you couldn’t see him anymore. You excused yourself and left Tsireya by herself to go and see what had happened that made him go that fast. The closer you got to the direction he swam towards, the better you heard voices screaming and sounds of fighting. You came over to Kiri, she was softly laughing at the pile of boys in front of her. You had to admit it was funny, but at the same time you were all supposed to be on your best behavior. Because of that, you walked over to them and hissed loudly, their heads turning to face you.

‘Enough.’ You spat and looked over at Lo’ak and Neteyam. ‘Both of you.’

They stood up and walked towards Kiri, you hissed at the Metkayina boys once again and turned around to join the Sully’s.

‘It was going well, you didn’t have to-‘

‘Was it, Lo’ak?’ You stopped and looked at him. ‘You were supposed to be on your best behavior, what were you thinking?’ You turned to the older boy.

He didn’t reply to you, he just took his brother by his arm and walked away.

‘You are both unbelievable.’ Kiri whispered making you turn your head in her direction.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Just tell him you like him already.’ She whined.

‘You know I can’t.’ A sigh escaped your lips. ‘He hates me, Kiri. He sees me as a rival, he despises me.’

‘He doesn’t.’

‘He does.’ You said louder. ‘I don’t want to talk about it anymore, let’s go.’

‘Lo’ak was the one that started that fight, he was just helping him.’

‘I know.’ You replied and looked down, soon arriving at your home.

‘And you? Why weren’t you keeping an eye on them?’ Jake turned to you when you entered the shack.

‘I’m sorry, I was helping Tsireya.’ You avoided his gaze. ‘Next time I won’t let anything happen to them.’

And you were right.

You jumped down from your ikran and landed on the sky people’s ship. Neteyam found his way to his siblings and Tsireya as fast as you, jumping onto the deck from his ilu. You shot your arrows towards some sky people coming towards you.

‘Cut the handcuffs!’ You told him when he reached you.

‘Come on, bro. Hurry up!’ Lo’ak screamed at his brother.

You turned around and saw Tsireya and Tuk jumping into the water, ‘Go! Both of you!’ You yelled at the brothers.

Neteyam started dragging the boy away, ‘They have Spider! We have to help him!’ Lo’ak tugged on his brother’s arm.

You locked your eyes with Neteyam, ‘Shit!’ He hissed. ‘Okay, let’s go.’

‘No, you are not going anywhere.’ You stopped both of them. ‘Go back to your father, right now.’

‘We have to help Spider, please (Y/n).’ Lo’ak looked at you with terrified eyes.

‘UGH!’ You shook your head and hang your bow on your body. ‘Just stay close.’ You told them and ran towards the inside of the ship.

You were quietly moving on the big pipe on the ceiling when some people started walking your way, Spider was surrounded by them in a circle. All three of you jumped down at the people and freed your friend, but then a pure moment of joy was interrupted by gunshots firing your way.

‘Go! Go!’ You screamed and pushed the boys towards a wall that would hide all of you.

Neteyam snatched the gun from Lo’ak and started shooting at the enemies, you pulled out the gun Jake had gifted you and helped him.

‘I’ll tell you when to jump and you jump!’ You shouted and looked over at them, they were rapidly nodding their heads. You gave a few more shots towards the enemies and took a deep breath. ‘Now!’

Lo’ak and Spider jumped quickly into the water, you pushed Neteyam first and jumped as the last person. For a second you felt relief when you heard their happy screams, but it was washed away when you started struggling with keeping your head above the water. Adrenaline started coming down and you felt your lower abdomen on fire.

‘Yes! We did it bro!’ Lo’ak hugged his brother who was laughing softly.

‘Come on! We need to go!’ Neteyam yelled when Tsireya came up from the water riding her ilu.

‘Nete…Neteyam…’ You coughed.

His smile faded and he rapidly swam towards you.

‘I’m shot you skxawng.’

‘Shit! Shit!’ He cursed. ‘Just hold on a second!’ He held you tightly and sat you down on the ilu. ‘It’s okay, just hold on.’ His panicked voice echoed through your ears.

He saw his father standing on a rock and everyone started screaming for him. A worried expression came up on his face when he saw his son holding you tightly.

‘She’s shot, dad, help her!’ They started pulling you up to rest you on the wet rock.

Jake inspected your body only to see a big wound on your lower stomach which was quickly bleeding out.

‘Take her to the village, right now.’ He told Neteyam and helped put you on the animal again.

Neteyam held you in his arms as he tried to ride the animal as quickly as he could without causing more damage to you.

‘Hold on, okay? Don’t you dare die on me!’ He yelled to you.

‘But I am so sleepy, Nete..’ Your voice was weak, but he still heard you.

‘No, don’t sleep, we’re right there, just…Just hold on..’ He finally saw the village and hope filled him up. ‘We’re here, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.’ He looked down at you to check if your eyes were still open and he saw you slowly blinking. ‘HELP! I NEED HELP!’ He screamed as loud as he could which caught the attention of some people by the coast, they quickly ran to get the Tsahik who was helping other wounded warriors.

‘Neteyam..’ You coughed.

‘We’re here, hold on for me.’ He looked down at you again.

‘I see…’ Your voice was getting weaker. ‘I see you, Neteyam.’ You whispered and closed your eyes.

‘No. No, no, no. Help! I need the Tsahik!’ He got off the ilu holding your limp body in his arms.

Ronal emerged from behind the people and told him to put you in one of the shacks. The Tsahik pushed him outside and covered the entrance with a curtain made out of big leaves and seaweed. Neteyam finally felt the tears on his face which previously were washed away by the splashing water. He didn’t know what to do, fear, sadness and adrenaline were running through his body. He waited for what felt like hours and when he felt Tuk’s arms around him all of a sudden he felt safe. His whole family was okay and when he came eye to eye with his father, he broke down crying again. Jake hugged his son and caressed his hair with his hand. A sudden rustle made Neteyam break the comforting hug. Everyone turned towards the sound, Ronal was standing in front of the shack, her expression was unreadable. She locked eyes with Neteyam.

‘She’s alive. Barely.’ She stated.

‘Thank you, Great Mother.’ Kiri whispered and hugged her brother from the side.

‘She needs a lot of rest and I am not certain if she will survive the night.’ Ronal said and started walking away. ‘Do not bother her. Now it is all up to Eywa.’

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

Your nostrils were filled with a disgusting smell which made you slowly open your eyes. You saw Ronal putting some type of paste on your wound and you hissed.

‘I guess this means I’m not dead.’ You whispered, your voice hoarse.

‘No, but it was close.’ She replied and wrapped some bandages around your stomach. ‘Rest, my child.’ She whispered and walked out, leaving you alone once again.

After a while the silence was interrupted by Jake, ‘Hi.’ He said as he sat down next to you.

‘I told you I’d keep them safe.’ You weakly smiled at him and he let out a soft laugh.

‘Yeah, I knew you would.’ His smile quickly faded. ‘I.. I wanted to thank you. For protecting them. And I’m sorry for using you so much, on all of those fights… I forget that you are still young, god… You’re only a year older than Neteyam and I’ve never thought something like this would happen to you…’ He paused. ‘You have a whole life in front of you, I’m sorry for trying to take that away and not protecting you.’

‘It’s okay.’ You whispered. ‘I know you only wanted to keep your family safe.’

He nodded and stood up, a tear fell down his cheek. He looked like he wanted to say something more, but nothing came out, he gave you one last smile and walked outside. After a while you closed your eyes because the light started bothering you, but you immediately opened them when you felt someone put their hand in yours. You looked at the way your fingers were intertwined with Neteyam’s and gave him a soft smile.

‘I’m so sorry.’ He whispered.

‘You have nothing to be sorry about.’ You coughed out.

‘I have. I am sorry for getting angry at you, for getting jealous about my father and for..’

‘Hey, it’s okay.’ You whispered and stroked his hand with your thumb. ‘And I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t be taking your place by your dad’s side.’

He nodded and squeezed your hand, ‘It’s okay, I know you just wanted someone to be proud of you. Kiri told me how… How you feel like an outsider all the time, because you don’t have…’

‘Parents?’

‘Yeah.’ He looked down at the floor.

‘After all these years I got used to having no one, but when your dad and other warriors from the clan were so proud of me… I just felt this hapiness that I finally belong somewhere, that’s why I always wanted to be the best…I’m sorry again, Neteyam.’

‘I forgive you.’ He smiled. ‘I can’t believe you were ready to die for me.’ He softly laughed and you reciprocated the smile.

‘I can.’ You whispered. ‘And I forgive you too, for being so mean to me.’ Your smile grew wider. ‘But you were cute when you were angry.’

‘Is that so?’ You gave him a long nod. ‘And now I’m not?’

‘No.’

‘Liar.’

Your giggles filled up the space around you and you didn’t even notice when he got so close to your face. You felt his breath on your skin and he put his other hand on your cheek.

‘I always thought you hated me.’ You whispered into his lips.

‘Do you still think that?’

‘No.’ It left your lips more like a breath rather than a word.

He finally closed the gap between you and it all just felt right. His lips on yours felt so right. You finally felt like you were not alone.

‘I see you, (Y/n).’

likes and reblogs are appreciated<3

taglist: @neteyamsgirl @vviolaswrld

#neteyam x you #neteyam x reader #neteyam #avatar the movie #avatar the way of water #jake sully x reader

[normal-internet-user]

You need some Rise!Splinter, so here we go: Splinter finds out that their boys are in a relationship (with their own s/o, of course!) Aaaand... Goes into father mode. You know: wanting to know details, giving date advices, checking if their lover is "good enough" for his boys... Expect embarassment situation😆

OHMYGOD THE POTENTIALL

RISE SLINTER WHEN HE FINDS OUT HIS BOYS ARE DATING

Leo:

Splinter knows?

Fucking how???

He did his absolute best to keep Splinter in the dark because he knew this would happen-

Splinter had pulled him aside to have a talk.

Little did he know it was THE talk.

You know the one.

Leo was mortified.

After that, Splinter demanded to know all the "Juicy details." as he put it.

Uh, yeah no.

Oh my god when Splinter meets you Leo wants to crawl into the ground and die of embarrassment.

Why couldn't he ask normal questions like, "What are your hobbies?" or "How many siblings do you have?" No he had to ask if you ever planned to marry his son.

Both you and Leo did a doubke take and grew as red as tomatoes.

Then Splinter left, smiling and laughing.

Leo is 100% sure that Splinter just want to embarrass him.

Raph:

Actually, Splinter was the first to know when you guys start dating.

Unlike Leo, Raph felt it was important for his dad to know.

He wasn't however, expecting to sit with his dad for hours, while Splinter gave him dating advice.

Then of course, "And finally, I demand to meet the person who has your love. I must make sure they are good enough for you."

Raph was nervous as all hell the day you were set to meet the fam, before he left to get you, his brothers kept complaining about his fear stink.

Splinter gave you a quick once over, smiled, then flashed Raph a thumbs up.

"Good job." he said, then spent the rest of dinner getting to know you

*relief*

Donnie:

No,

Nononono

The utter embarrassment he feels at how his father is acting.

He is positivly mortified.

No, father, you are not getting details.

Have we kissed yet?

I am not telling you.

No you cannot meet them yet.

Why?

You know why.

When he does meet you, Donnie is terrified that Splinter will embarrass him.

And he does exactly that,

When Splinter see's you, it goes exactly like this, "Are you sure? You could do so much better."

"Father, that is incredibly rude. I love them-"

"I am not talking to you, I'm talking to them."

He then grabbed your hands and pulled you down to his level, "This entire family is crazy, get out while you still have the chance."

"DAD-"

Mikey:

I'm sorry what?

His youngest is dating?

No way, he's just a baby!

Wait, he's a teenager?

Oh.

WELL STILL-

The talk is unavoidable.

And Mikey is red for DAYS afterward.

Even then, he's really excited for you to meet his dad.

When Splinter meets you,

You are instantly his new favorite, already telling Mikey how he has to marry you, leaving the both of you blushy and embarrassed.

Whenever you visit now, Splinter is always in Mikey's line of sight, attrmpting to signal advice to his youngest.

It does not work.

....................................

Anon, you are 100% right. My blog is extremely lacking in rise Splinter. So here you go!

#tmnt #tmnt x reader #x reader #leonardo x reader #donnie x reader #rottmnt #raphael x reader #normie writes #mikey x reader #rottmnt headcanons #splinter tmnt #lou jitsu #master splinter

[matan4il]

911 ep 704 first watch reactions

IDK if anyone else will talk about this, but Josh and Maddie were a great comedic start to this ep! XD Also. Interesting choice to give Josh, the currently only openly gay male character on the show, more lines again. Is it a reminder he's there, so he can be a part of Buck's journey later on? *eyes emoji* We'll see.

All of these pretty women (I should also mention that as a non-American, all the gasped, "It's Joey!" "It's you!" "It's me!" are missing me by a kilometer. Whoever Joey is, he's not Madonna yet, if you want me to get excited about him, 911, you're gonna have to give me a bit more than a single name), hitting on Buck and Eddie, and the ease with which both men turn them down... Sure, this is a part of the set up regarding Buck, and Eddie technically has an excuse, but also. Most straight, taken men would at least be tempted. They'd at least bite their lips with frustration. Have some reaction. But not Eddie. And when you remember that he was distinctly not taken in ep 204, but still had the same reaction to pretty young women hitting on him and Buck... I know this ep is all about celebrating the 'oh' moment of another guy, but that's not gonna stop me from rooting for Eddie to have similar realizations eventually (and get together with that certain other guy *cough*).

LMAO So, Buck is meeting up with the guy who's gonna be his sexual awakening, a man who's good looking, gave him a thrill already, is an impressive fighter pilot, and the first thing he can think of to say, is blurt out Eddie's name? LMAO Oh, this boy really is down bad...

Man, that bit where Tommy tells Buck he can have it both ways, he can get certified and continue to serve with the 118. Thanks for the beautiful foreshadowing, 911. Buck saying he's keeping his options fluid... Holy shit, the show really wasn't holding any punches back.

OMG, why is Harry old enough to be making Bathena waffles (and then turn out to be involved in an altercation)? I swear, he was still on baby formula just a second ago. How did 7 seasons just fly by!?

Buck getting jealous over Eddie and Tommy sparring. Considering the fact that Buck was the one getting all hot and bothered over semi-naked Eddie in the gym in 201, and ready to jump into a boxing match with him, this is making me wanna punch a wall myself. The symbolism in this ep is NOT very veiled. Add to that Eddie mentioning how he and Tommy met and just... clicked. In the same conversation that reminds us of Buddie' in 201's first meeting, where they clicked? (even though they were both too dumb to realize in what way) 911, just let me catch my breath for a second challenge! Also, Eddie is dating Tommy more intensely than he is Marisol? Okay. Duly noted. These firefighters are both so freaking hetero, I'm sure that's exactly what every casual viewer was telling themselves at this point. And poor Buck, getting his hopes up that Eddie is asking him when he's free, so they can go on a date themselves, only to be let down. Poor baby boy. But this feels like it's spelling out the answer to whether Buck's jealous over Tommy or Eddie. So, yay for Tommy helping him with his bi awakening. But it's clear who's really occupying Buck's heart and mind, and whose time he wants. FOR SIX FREAKING SEASONS NOW.

Oh, it's continuing, the show really is trying to kill me, having Buck complain to Maddie about how often Eddie has been seeing Tommy. The annoyance with how cool Tommy is, that's exactly Buck's reaction to Eddie in 201. So, if Buck and Tommy will then kiss, what does that say about what Buck didn't even realize he wanted to happen with Eddie back then, hmmm? I also love that Buck wants to be the cooler "dad's friend" in Christopher's eyes. That's his son, you can't take that away from him. And of course, Maddie was his first confidante about his feels for Eddie, she was the first one to call out his boy crush (in 204) and to hear Buck automatically think about Eddie, when he hears, "He's cute!" (in 206). It's so freaking right that she is now the witness to Buck's bi jealousy meltdown. I love her calling him out on it. "Is it circled with a heart around it?" Honestly, this is better than front row seats at the Bachelor mansion. I'm just disappointed in Chimney and his imaginary popcorn that he doesn't get to witness all of this firsthand and get what it means. Letting down all Bachelor fans out there, Chim. -_-

And then Buck's back in the gym, staring at Eddie, feathers ruffled. Am I going to make it to the end of this ep? Who cares? This is fantastic! XD He tries to catch Eddie's attention with the little weightlifting without a spotter stunt, and it's specifically him. Chim turned out to also be impressed by how cool Tommy is, but Buck is circling Eddie, like a clueless Jane Austen heroine, about to become a hit teen romance movie. Ravi falling for Buck's weightlifting attention trap is just getting in the way. Chim asking about Buck's weird basketball hugging session is nothing but a way to get to the ball game with Eddie. Okay, I'm at the point where I need to be chewing on imaginary popcorn.

Athena is one of the strongest characters on television, ever. Precisely because she's not just tough when she has to be, she has a heart, too. The scene where she told the woman she accidentally killed her own son was hard to just watch. IDK how she actually did that. I'm not sure if viewers who aren't moms get it, 'coz I didn't until I went with my sister through her pregnancy. Motherhood changes you forever. You feel your kid moving inside you. You bond with them in the most intimate way possible before they're even born. You go on a wild journey with them after, where every second counts, let alone every hour and every day, when they're hungry, when they're cold, when they struggle to sleep, when they finally do, when they take their first step, when they fail and fall... The love and protectiveness are something different to anything else in life. IDK how Athena, who gets all of this, managed to break the news to this mother, that she had unknowingly killed her own kid. I think to me, this has to be the most devastating scene in the entire history of the show. IDK if I'll be able to watch it again.

When basketball game scene starts, and Chimney knows something's up, I was already chuckling. But then Eddie sees them, and the first thing isn't expressing joy that his best friend is there, it's asking how did Chim talk him into this. "He always says no to me." They BOTH always talk about each other in romantic coded language, it's not just Buck, and in the same ep where we get bi Buck confirmed, that makes me froth at the mouth...

"So I'm your basketball beard. I feel so bonded." Not Chimney calling Buck out, while using the term for closeted gay guys using someone as a cover. I AM SCREAMING. Thank you, 911 gods!

That montage with Eddie and Tommy high fiving each other right in front of Buck's salad face, while their muscles glisten in the sun, and Top Gun-like music plays in the background, like the biggest nod to the volleyball scene from that gayest movie ever made, which we already had Buddie paraphrasing in 201. I am fine, this is fine. I love this burning kitchen I'm sitting in.

Buck causing Eddie's injury because of his jealousy (which again, is not about Tommy. He made an impression on Chim as well, who was screaming, "Buck, I'm open! I'm OPEN!") and not even getting to offer some help, because Tommy's already on it... I hope ABC is happy with their viewership dropping next week, because they've killed every Buddie shipper in the fandom.

"Well, I'm not a 14 year old girl..." Both Buck and Maddie together: "So stop acting like one." Love this scene, love these siblings, love that the reference with the two blonde Sarahs sounds platonic, but it's also from a past season on the Bachelor. 911 really wants you to know this is romantic, and Buck's going through a late sexual awakening in his 30's, instead of in his teens, even before he's able to see it.

So, the conclusion to Buck and Maddie's convo is that he needs to talk to Eddie, to make it better, yet the person he ends up talking to is Tommy, and that leads to the bi awakening kiss... It's a classic rom com switch, we hear a knock at the door, we expect it to be THE love interest, showing up at the right time, and it's someone else, making the protagonist's romantic journey so close, but about to get longer. It's further emphasized by a shot over Tommy's shoulder, in a way that he can easily be confused for Eddie, and which is reminiscent of moment when we saw Buck standing at Eddie's door, or both of them there toegther.

It was a nice talk, I loved Tommy saying he can't replace Buck, I def noticed how he went to talk about it in the context of Chris instead of Eddie (hmmm... I wonder why), but my fave part was how Buck glowed when he heard his son doesn't shut up about him. ^u^ He even took a second to look away from Tommy, to take it in with a huge grin. Then Buck and Tommy start warming up to each other, moving towards flirtation, and what comes out of Buck's mouth? "You don't have to tell me how great Eddie is." That's not how you flirt with a guy, Buck. I liked Tommy kissing him, and Buck not recoiling. Like he's always known on some level, but could never do anything about it. "That's better than fake mouth static." LOL The stuff that great romance is made of.

I'm SO happy Buck is getting this storyline of realization he's bi, I've thought it would be important and that the show has laid some groundwork for it since 107, and I don't mind that Tommy is the "romantic other" who helps him with it. I do believe this is important bi representation in and of itself, away from Buddie, and if nothing else ever comes of it, this is still beyond wonderful. In 2024, we still barely have any characters who start out presumed straight, and are allowed the freedom to figure out that maybe their sexual orientation is different than what they thought, despite the fact that in reality, human sexuality is complex and confusing and a mess. So this really matters to me, as a human being, and as a queer person. That said, I can't ignore the past 5 seasons, and the way this storyline played out, with Tommy kissing Buck, but the whole thing being emotionally centered around Buck's feelings for Eddie, it means that whether they go canon or not (and at this point, I find it hard to believe they'd make Buck canonically bi, taking this HUGE risk of homophobic backlash, and not go there with him and Eddie, but just in case they don't, I wanna say this), it'll always be Buddie for me.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

#911 spoilers #911 #911 abc #911abc #911 on abc #911onabc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 meta #chimney han #maddie buckley #bobby nash #athena grant #911reactions #9-1-1 #bathena #madney #118 firefam #fire family

[woneuntonzz]

📞 ; “you’ll see me later near the flagpole, i’ll stand there and wave at you, wave back?”

𖹭 : player!seunghan x afab!reader

💭 you had no idea why seunghan seemed to be so indifferent towards you, especially when he had fooled around with half the girls in your circle.

⤷ contains: angst (it's quite bad i think), fluffy fluff, humor, cussing, indications of s/h, mentions and indications of self-exiting, mentions of smoking, drinking, suggestive scenarios, themes of insecurity, mention of other idol names for world building

⤷ wc: 9.8k !!

not proofread :>

Insecurity is something none of us are safe from. One might find themselves one gloomy evening after a long day, staring into the horrid pit they call ‘me’. 

It’s just so hard to love yourself when there’s no one to love you.

You’re not the prettiest, nor the smartest. You have a fair share of hobbies, but you’ve always thought you’re just mediocre in all of them. You’ve always thought it’s an internal error, nearly unfixable because you’ve been trying so hard your whole life but still weren’t able to reach a certain point of excellence. Perhaps it was the lack of encouragement, the lack of presence, your parents are the most insouciant they could be, and it hurts even more for being an only-child. 

You’d think having friends would help, but over time it would feel as if they were all keeping you around just for your accompaniment, like a pet —not even one they’d dote on, just one they’d have around so they wouldn’t make a fool of themselves blabbering on about whatever was going on in their lives. It’s been five years of their running mouths and pretty faces, and it’s getting harder and harder to care.

“Hong Seunghan? He's got the face for sure, but he’s a jerk.” 

“Does it matter? You two were so fucking loud last night.”

“Geez Y/n, sorry —but yeah, it’s just a shame. You can’t really expect anything else from that guy than a quick fuck.”

The first mention of his name flew over your head like a feather, you thought he was probably just another one of those guys, not really worth the thought.

At some point in time however, his circle of friends would merge into yours. Some would build friendships with the occasional make outs and doing the dirty deed whenever they felt like it, and some would actually end up dating, but they would be toxic at best. This deranged circle is definitely not desirable, but for a bunch of horny teenagers, it’s not really much of a shock. 

“Shit, Seunghan, why the hell would you just leave me like that?”

“I left you a towel —and you have hands, right? you were just using them with me—”

“Shut up!”

They were laughing after having done something so unholy with the presence of everyone just outside the room where they had dealt with their business. It was the norm now, having sex while everyone else was in the living room, shamelessly making the lewdest of sounds —it’s a house owned by one of your friends whose parents were seemingly as neglectful as yours, it just happens so that their son was a fucking narcissist.

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t want to fuck me.” 

“You have a girlfriend, Intak.”

“Y/n, she’s not around, and if you think about it you’re doing her a favor, taking care of me while she’s away—”

“You’re disgusting. She already said no.” —you never expected for Seunghan to suddenly butt in because no one really ever cared enough to save anyone from a situation such as this one.

“Look who’s speaking, you’re just as much of a fuckface as I am.” you could only watch with furrowed brows as the two went on. 

“Yeah? I don’t force myself into anyone, unlike you.” —really? for being the philanderer you are? —you’d think to yourself, keeping your eyes on Seunghan.

“Bud, she just said ‘you have a girlfriend’, I didn’t hear a ‘no’ or an ‘I don’t want you to make a total wreck of me’, did you?” you’d only roll your eyes, walking out of the room. “Hey, Y/n, wait up—”

“Just leave her alone dude. She doesn’t want you.”

You wish you could care less, but it would happen more often —some of your guy friends trying to get you to fuck, and him coincidentally being in the same room, reasoning with the other guy so you wouldn’t get trapped —if you already weren’t for being in their circle. 

You thought he was sick, what was his reason for stopping you from taking a hit when he bounced back and forth from your friends and probably girls outside of your scope. 

One night however, you’d make sure he wasn’t around, and finally, you’d give in. 

Feeling particularly lustful, you were in luck. Woojin was around, just as pent up —if not more— no longer able to keep his hands to himself. The skinship drew you in deeper, and soon you’d be whispering in his ear, “Let’s go up stairs.” —him giving you a hastened nod before taking you by the arm and dragging you to an empty room at the second storey. 

Everyone seemed to be surprised to see that it was you behind those risqué sounds. Still, you didn’t know how to act. Should you be embarrassed? proud? should you just be nonchalant about everything? you didn’t want things to get awkward for you and Woojin, and so you’d try your best to not show your flustered self to him.

“Is it really okay that I took your first time?”

“Y-yeah, don’t think much about it.”

You two were seated on the bleachers of the school gymnasium, the day after everything that went down. His chuckle, so sweet yet so subtle would only add to the heat on your face. 

“I just always thought you were so reserved, you know? I thought you’d want your first time to be with someone special, as far as I know, that’s not me —I’m your friend, your my friend.” he was calm, and soft, justifying his thoughts.

“I thought so too.” you shrugged at him. 

You looked out into the distance, to the basketball ring, and underneath it was Seunghan. The hell? —you’d say to yourself, seeing the boy beneath the ring shaking his head after making brief eye contact with you. 

What was his problem? Was it about you sleeping with Woojin? he was already there when you came down the stairs with Woojin, both of you equally as blown out as the other. When you saw him, he didn’t even seem to care, he even had his arms around one of your other friends nearly shoving his face against hers. So what was his problem?

“Maybe he wanted to fuck you before anyone did.” —now you were second guessing yourself, maybe you shouldn’t have told your pretty little best friends about it.

“I don’t think so. He hadn’t even touched me—”

“Oh right! it’s kinda funny.” their laughter filled your ears, so horrid.

“My God Jean, I don’t know why’d you even bring that idea up, Seunghan wouldn’t even look at Y/n for more than two minutes, be for real.” they tittered to each other, at that point anyone else who saw you would’ve never thought you were part of the initial conversation in the first place.

As harshed it sounded —especially coming from them— it was nothing but the truth. Not like he owed you anything, but you felt as if there must be something wrong with you for him to not be giving you as much attention as he would any other female. Not even only that, he didn’t even talk to you as much as he did with everyone else. The others would talk to you, some like Woojin more regularly than others. It just seemed like Seunghan was just so indifferent towards you, even after all those times he’s rejected your friends’ advances for you. 

It was enough for you to question your self-worth, your face, your body, your attitude. You’ve always been so compliant, other than those times you’ve rejected attempts of unruly hands getting into your pants, you had every right to do so anyway. These people you call your friends, they’re all so full of themselves, even them being vocal about their insecurities were all just pure complaints, like a broken car —they could get it ‘fixed’ as they pleased, with their parents’ consent or not they could do whatever they want, unlike you. As much as you wanted to get a higher nose bridge, fuller cheeks, a prettier eye shape, a more flattering body, you’re stuck with what you had. You didn’t have the money, the time, the energy, and most importantly, the motivation. 

Facing the mirror made you sick in the stomach, hideous —for a lack of a better word, was all you could think of whenever you saw the lump of patheticness, you. 

Everything started with Hong Seunghan, noticing how touchy he’d get with the other girls —and every other girl except you— how he smiled at them, and never at you. He didn’t ignore you entirely, but he wouldn’t be enthusiastic like he’d be with everybody, everybody except you of course. And soon enough, your doubts tripled from the backhanded assurances —if you could even call it that— feeling as if they resent you wouldn’t come as a question, not at all. They did a pretty good job of making you feel unwanted. 

“Unwanted? come on, we’re just here to have fun, none of that dramatic depression shit —anxiety or whatever lame excuse you have.” —and you still had no idea how to mend your pain. 

You stuck around, for as long as your dignity allowed you to. You would never be special like them. You were merely a filler, and you played your role well. For some time, Woojin was around, then he’s not. In a blink, he’d be your enemy too, just cause he got to fuck the more popular girls in your circle. How amusing. —suddenly he was like everyone else, never to swallow his pride. 

Everything at once became too much, way too much. You got into vices you swore you’d never get yourself into, drinking and smoking your spirits away. Wherever you’re headed in life, at that time it was blurry, hazy, unforeseeable. With every other senses blocked, all you could feel was the shot of liquid burning your throat as it slid down.

Your eyes shifted around, looking for a bright light that was never there, and you’d catch a glimpse of your reflection and for a while you were able to spur a thought out of your disarrayed mind —you’re a monster Y/n. You felt and looked dreadful, clearly in need of aid, but from who? you’d only feel the need to down more of the searing liquid, frustrated with yourself, with the world. You will never be enough for everyone, not even yourself.

Brain almost turned to mush, your vision doubling the images you’re able to decipher at the moment, you’d shuffle around the unfamiliar sheets, on a bed you’ve never laid on. 

“There’s some aspirin on the bedside table. I’ll be at class.” 

Of all people, it had to be his bed. You sat up, face buried in your hands as you tried to remember even the slightest bit of what happened that previous night. Nothing, your mind could only bring you to the void of nothingness. You’d feel yourself around, what if something happened with you and Seunghan that night? before you could ask him however, your eyes would meet his, and in them was a glint of something you weren’t able to pick up on given your very unkempt state. He’d leave you there, not another word leaving him. 

If you weren’t so thoughtful, you would’ve just left his room as it is, pocketing the aspirin —he may or may have not— left you, but you took your time tidying up his bed, not even giving the aspirin a second look before you headed out. You knew you needed the medicine, but you just couldn’t bear that thought that it was from him. He never cared —he shouldn’t care.

You still went to school earlier that day, not sparing anyone a minute of your time. You felt so defunct, so dead. On the way out of your last class for the day, you’d only subconsciously wipe your nose and blood was smeared across your face. You thanked yourself for being sober enough to rush to the comfort room and take care of it. By chance, you’d stumble into one of your friends. 

“What a sport, bet you could down five barrels.” —the last thing you wanted to hear was their distasteful guffaws.

You tried your best to let out something, anything in response, but a feeble smirk was all you could display, walking out of the comfort room in need of fresher air. You thought that was the end of it, but that night you’d go home, back to your parents. You never thought they’d even notice you didn’t go home that night, but to your surprise, one of them opened their mouth to you at the dinner table.

“You’re only in your junior year Y/n —highschool might I add, I hope you’re not wasting your life away.” you could only very subtly shake your head, suppressing the scoff threatening to leave your lips the moment your mom started talking. 

So what if you were wasting away? it’s not like they cared enough. They had barely given you an ounce of their affection, giving you money of the same value as convenient store student meals they considered the equivalent of a birthday celebration. Your last actual birthday was six years ago, before your parents had to ruin their relations with their own parents —your grandparents. 

The grounding of this whole mess started from when your parents had introduced one another to each other’s parents. Did not go well. For years, resentment was loud and clear, even as a kid you could see it, but for the sake of your parents you pretended not to. Your parents had you without getting married, still, your grandparents loved you wholly like you were their own child. Even after your birth, your grandparents from both sides still opposed the idea of marriage, hence your parents’ dismay. They’d cut ties with your grandparents so they could carry on with their wishes of being wedded, but till now, were still not able to do so, not earning enough to fulfill this desire. 

Love wins all they say, but their love was none you could see nor feel, so did abandoning their parents do anything for them at all? for their love that seemed to be so important that they’d continue to deprive you of your emotional needs? 

You refuse to be like them, you want to be better, to prove something to them, to yourself. Perhaps it’s time you got a grip. 

It wouldn’t be easy to stay out of the ‘friends’ that would be the foreground of your miserable life, but slowly you’d get the hang of giving absolutely no fucks for whatever they had to say. 

“You can’t be serious, you? studying? if you’re just gonna be out fucking some pathetic guy downing tequila like it’s water you—”

“I have a life, Rina. Maybe you should get one too?” you’d feel a little better, finally not letting them underdog you like they always have. 

You were a lot more vocal, and they didn’t like it. Soon you’d be the topic of discussion, behind your back, or when you just weren’t around. You knew, it was hard to say you didn’t care, it felt like fifty missiles coming at you at once, but what else could you do? tell them to stop? —as if they would.

“She’s such a fucking brat. What had gotten into that bitch?”

“Wait, who now?”

“Y/s/n Y/n.”

Upon hearing your name, he just couldn’t help but insert himself in the conversation, though he wasn’t meant to. “What’d she do?”

“Oh, I don’t know, be a bitch? she thinks she’s all that but she’d probably end up in a ditch somewhere.” laughing at such vile words is sickening. “Anyways, Han, please, please, please sleep with me tonight. I feel so stressed about the finals.”

He scoffed at her, loud enough for her to flinch. “Why don’t you study, freak? I’m going, I’m gonna study so I can at least continue to senior year.” 

“Do you hate me now, Han?”

“Never fucking liked you in the first place.”

He saw you leave that atrocious house for the last time, but he never knew it would be the last. He still waited for you, though none of your friends ever thought of it. 

Senior year flew by, and he noticed you never came back. He also noticed that you avoided him, and everyone else involved in that shitshow like you never knew them. 

They made sure you wouldn’t get away with it that easily. Within a span of weeks, your life was hell once again. You were labeled a slut, an alcoholic, a toxic gossip. It was tough to wake up the next day, to continue to breath under their condemnatory glares. The thought of who you were to them was so close to swallowing you whole, into obscurity, where you belonged.

“Y/s/n Y/n? please wake up.” —an unfamiliar voice, one you thought was from the heavens coming to retrieve you from the hell you lived in. 

She helped you sit up from the murky tiles of the school comfort room, assisting you with holding yourself up with a hand on the small of your back. 

“Y/n, please don’t do this again. If you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. Tell me everything.” —Ahn Yujin, a girl from the pilot class, she’d heard about you, but everything she’s picked up so far contradicts your lifeless image. 

She figured you must've been a victim of such vindictive mouths. You could only tell your stories through messages, fearing if you did it anywhere else, someone might overhear and use it against you. 

“Don’t worry, it’s all going to be kept between you and I.” —back in school, Yujin stuck by you whenever she could. “I have a friend in another class, Ningning, you should join us for lunch!”

You felt dumb for doubting the luminance of her tone, bright as ever. This was the first time you’d had someone you felt comfortable enough to call your friend, and you were thinking, maybe, it’s just all out of pity, then it would be easy for them to just overlook your existence like everyone else does.

Your ambiguity would be lifted once you’ve received the first letter.

hey y/n, i know you’d probably think i have bad intentions, writing this and all, but i just wanted you to know that i’m really worried about you. i wish i could’ve done something to drive away those rumors, you didn’t deserve any of this. i was scared that you almost ended it all, i hope it doesn’t happen again. i wish i could give you a hug right now, but for now, this would have to do —with a cute little drawing of a bear with open arms. The artist was definitely not Van Gogh, but it was sweet nonetheless.

When you met Yujin and Ningning again that day, you would hesitantly come up to her with a warm embrace. She was a bit surprised, but happy you were finally showing signs of healthy vigor. “Hi Y/n!” she exclaimed whilst she hugged you back.

“I just wanted to say thank you, for everything —to you too Ningning. I literally wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you guys.” the two would engulf you in a big hug. 

“Life is tough and highschool is filled with monsters. Rina and her little girlfriends? they can rot in hell, I’ll tell you that!”  

“Shh! wait, Yunjin, people might hear!” a slight chuckle left your mouth, for the first time in a great while. “But I agree. No worries, you have us now, fuck those buffoons.”

Finally, sincerity, something you never thought you’d be met with ever again. If it weren’t for that letter though, you would’ve never figured out just how genuine Yujin and Ningning were with helping you out. Even at home, you’d be talking with them, sometimes on a call if you were feeling safe enough to make a slight noise in your home with your parents around. 

“My birthday is in two weeks, God, I don’t think I'd even make it by then because of this stupid physics assignment —and the thesis too! I hate, hate, hate Lee Woojin.” you laughed at Yujin’s mention of that pathetic fool’s name, immediately catching the attention of both girls in the call. 

“Y/n, is he one of those jerks?” Ningning would bring her face closer to her phone screen. 

“Yes, he is. He’s bad bad.” you laughed at their reactions, Ningning shaking her head with a smirk whilst Yujin slammed her hands against each other once, scoffing. 

“Of course he is, I swear to God, I will remove him from our thesis paper.” 

“Honestly, he’s really nice when you first meet him, but as time goes by… you realize he’s just a total perv, him, Seunghan, Dowoon, all the same!” 

You shouldn’t be surprised, but you couldn’t help but perk up hearing Seunghan’s name again after a while. His reputation, like everyone else in his friend group, was tainted —salvageable, yes, but still burnt a hole through his once admirable esteem. Girls were all over him then, the younger and older, but now, with news of him fooling around so often, he’d be nothing but a pretty playboy. 

But he was no longer your concern, boys like him are never worth it, destroying the little self-worth you had. For all you knew, he probably never cared for you. 

None of that would matter anymore, and for the second time, you’d receive another letter, the last one was shoved in the peephole of your locker, but this one was left under your desk. 

i hope you’re reading these —also hope you’re not throwing them away after, i don’t want to assume, but I see you’re holding yourself up pretty well? i’m really proud of you :3 

How could you throw such precious efforts away? you kept them all, and eventually made the decision to stick them to your personal journal that you haven’t touched for so long. Your day wouldn’t be complete without them, and you’d wordlessly thank Yujin and Ningning by being there for them like they always were for you. 

“Hey, Y/n, we should do a little something for Yujin’s birthday.” you and Ningning were huddled against each other, whispering in the cafeteria before Yujin could arrive. 

You quietly gasp, coming up with an idea. “Wait! I think I got it.”

And the rest of the six minutes was spent with the two of you suppressing giggles and trying to be as quiet as possible till Yujin got there. “What are you two up to?”

“Not much, just the—” you looked at Ningning as an attempt to seek help. “—group project for social studies.”

She’d just nod, slowly, eyeing the two of you with suspicious eyes, all in jest of course, and you were all laughing by the end of it.

your smile is so pretty, always smile, yeah? happy you’re happy, finally. —and another cute little sketch of a teddy bear.

You almost laughed at how ridiculously adorable it was, not meaning to sound harsh, but you really thought Yujin could draw better, but maybe she was in a rush when she made it. 

i haven’t told you this, have i? —anyways, you deserve all the happiness in the world. if i could, i would take all the pain away from you, i’d take it all for you. be happy always, lots of hugs and kisses (? —are kisses okay?) —another day, another letter. 

You couldn’t help but emit a soft chuckle, shaking your head at just how sweet these letters were. You made sure you paid back Yujin all the love you’ve been receiving, through her words, the smallest and biggest of gestures, and her letters. 

i see you reading through my letters, not being creepy though, i just can’t help but look because you’re so cute. i’m being for real too, your little giggle is everything, and again, your smile beats everyone else’s. i think i’ll only be going to school to see that sweet smile of yours :D —this would be the letter left under your desk on Yujin’s birthday. 

You can’t help but overthink the surprise you’ve prepared for her, because even on her birthday, she was still able to give you something that —for you— could never be topped by anything else in this world. To others, it’s ‘just words’, but these words were ones that encouraged you to be more motivated, to make an effort in getting ready for school everyday despite how hostile the environment could be. 

Later that day, you and Ningning would be extra busy, convincing Yujin to wear the blindfold you had prepared —you had to make sure it would be comfortable for her— leading her somewhere in the park just near your school. 

Two, three —“Surprise!”

You were both proud with the simplicity, yet incredibly pleasing to the eyes. A little picnic set up, with a cake you and Ningning split your budget for. 

“This is just —I, oh my God.” she had her hands covering her mouth, eyes watery from the fondness you and Ningning had drowned her in. 

You and Ningning would help her kneel down carefully on the blanket you’ve laid down. 

“We hope you like the cake, we weren’t so sure which one to pick.” Ningning says. 

“I love it, I— thank you guys.” Yujin hugs both of you once more. 

Once released from their snug grasp, you’d utter, “We wanted to make sure this day would be extra special, and I want to thank you again for helping me and being my best friend, and for the letters too.”

“I love you Y/n, I really do.” she beamed at you, the dearest smile you’ve ever received since your grandparents. “Oh, but, what letters were you talking about?”

You blinked once, was it not from her? “Letters? oh, did I say letters? I meant to say words, you’re words of encouragement and all.”

“You’re so sweet, thank you Y/n.” you’d give her the same smile she’d given you, holding her hand, but at the same time, your mind was going fuzzy and you’d just ask yourself —whose letters were they?

Perhaps it was Ningning? but she seemed to be just as perplexed as Yujin was, you were just thankful that they didn’t feel the need to question you further about it. 

You’d keep receiving the letters, but would still be clueless as to who this mystery sender might be. They seemed to be quite genuine, especially for hiding their identity. 

the workload is starting to get really hard to bear with, i hope you’re doing good. i really wish i could help you, but i hope this little hug can help. —and another drawing of a bear with open arms.

Are they a classmate of yours? you could only be certain they were also senior year because they were aware of the piling schoolwork everyone in your year had to endure. 

Even with the sender’s anonymity, their letters would still serve as a reason for you to withstand the storms of your life. You’d tell both Yujin and Ningning about it eventually, and they would be just as invested in them as you were, intrigued by this endearing mystery. 

“They seem really sweet, but I really can’t think of anyone.” —was all you could answer to your friends’ queries. 

“Hmm, whoever they are, I hope they’re just as good as they appear to be in these letters.” They were reading through the letters in your journal, smiling at certains points.

“Oh my God, what a flirt.” you’d rush next to Ningning, peaking at the page where they’d stopped. 

i want you to read this and not think i’m playing, because i saw you this morning and thought you looked really pretty —you’re pretty every single day, but this morning was something else, i don’t sound crazy, right? or creepy?

“You should totally write something back to them!” Ningning spoke, almost in a squeal. 

It was the letter from earlier that day, and it was the first time the letters would come off as more flirty like what Yujin had just said. You weren’t quite receptive with the thought of calling them your secret admirer, you’d pretty much prefer to call them your anonymous best friend.

who are you? —you left a little note above your desk before you left school that day, hoping they’d see it and respond to you.

college is nearing, i wish you all the luck in the world. i know you’ll get in a great university, and have great friends, be careful with friends, okay? also remember to always take care of yourself, no matter what. 

so i wrote this last night, but i added this just now, i see you’re curious, i never thought it would matter. truly, your smile is enough. i don’t want to be in the way of your thoughts, don’t think about it much, still i really don’t want you to think i’m just messing with you. i promise to see you before we graduate :))

Your smile would diminish by the end of the letter. Right, you were graduating already. With a sigh, you’d fold the letter into one of your notebooks. 

The letters never stopped, and soon, your journal was full. You got a new one, filling three more pages with their letters before graduation day. you’ll see me later near the flagpole, i’ll stand there and wave at you, wave back? hehe :3 —a note was stuck onto your designated chair during the ceremony.

Your heart pounded so quickly as time flew by, the awarding was barely in your mind anymore, all you could think of was seeing this mystery person, seeing an actual being behind those lovely and comforting words. Once everyone had their medals hanging from their necks, with smiles and faint laughter, there would be a speech left by the deans and the principal. All that’s left is to let that cap fly into the air, and look near the flagpole. 

With a smile on your face, you got a little closer at the stage, just enough to be at a reasonable distance from your anonymous best friend, still you weren’t able to spot them right away. After a while, the crowd would scatter, and you could finally look without many people in the way. 

You never thought you’d see his smile, a smile that called for the angels, the angel that you are. 

Before he could give you a wave, you’d disappear from his sight, like snow under the summer sun. His eyes would move down to the floor, perhaps he was too sure? Well, he didn’t exactly picture that you would run to him and wrap him with your warm embrace, but he thought you’d at least spare him a small smile, either way, he couldn’t blame you. He understood why you’d react that way. 

You didn’t know how to feel, was it really him? him out of all people? out of all people, him again? you wanted to believe he was just out of his mind, wanting to mess with you all over again, but then, if he really intended to, he could've done so without all the trouble of writing you all these letters every night waking up extra early just to leave them under your desk before you got there, all to get a smile out of you. 

This was not the Hong Seunghan you knew.

═══════════════════════════════════════

Getting into a decent university was your biggest concern all summer, not being able to think about anything else than your entrance exam results. SNU, Yonsei, and two more back ups, you just hoped you weren’t much of a fuck up during the interview, though you did stutter at multiple points —which almost crumbled you into pieces— you’d say you did a pretty good job, till you were coming up with better answers you could’ve said right after the interview finished. 

“Okay, okay. Let’s open our inbox.” you were on a call with your best friends, all equally excited, and anxious. 

“I will shit myself.”

You checked yours, you got four emails from all four universities you applied for. You only got into two, much to your luck, one of them was Yonsei. 

“Oh my God, we’re going to Yonsei together!” Yujin had her hands clasped together.

“I can’t wait to skip classes with you guys!” you both laugh at Ningning’s quip. 

“Maybe not that, but yey!”

Your life seems to be moving in the right direction, one where you’ll finally be able to reach a point of contentment, and pure bliss. 

You’d find yourself smiling at the ceiling, eyes closed, laying flat on your back. It felt so good to be out of the haphazards, just thinking about the future and what it held for you and the two of your favorite people. 

Relief coursed through your body, finally you could step out of that dismal household. Your parents promised to send you money regularly, but you were determined to get some sort of side job that could earn you enough so you could save up for something nice —you yet weren’t sure for what exactly, but you’d figure it out soon enough. 

Arriving at the dorms, you were thankful that it was spacious enough, not like you’d have a use for so much space, just that you hoped you could pre-establish some boundaries with your roommate, who —fortunately for you— was very nice and quite extroverted. 

“Hi! My name is Haewon!”

“Hi! I’m Y/n, nice to meet you!”

And she was nice enough to invite you and your friends to a little get-together they had. 

“There’s not many people, but I think Sunoo said he was bringing in a few friends, I'm not familiar with them either.” Haewon shrugged right as she spoke about her friend Sunoo. 

This was the circle of friends you thought you’d be in in highschool, but does that really matter anymore? you already had Yujin, Ningning, and now Haewon, and possibly a few more you hoped. 

You’d meet up with Yujin and Ningning before you got to the get-together, you were all just as nervous as the other, but were still anticipating something wonderful out of it. 

“I just hope they’re really as nice as they sound, I mean, meeting Haewon earlier, they probably are, but still!” Yujin spoke with haste, using a hand mirror to guide herself with fixing her hair. 

“We’ll be okay, tonight will be great.” you urged with pure excitement. 

You were a firm believer —just recently— that things would go well if you believed hard enough, and throughout the ride to the meeting place, you wore a smile, one that would only shine brighter once you were greeted by Haewon and two other girls. Soon enough you’d learn their names, Seeun and Sullyoon. However, Sunoo seemed to be running late.

“I wonder who he’s coming with, I hope they’re nice too.” Sullyoon kept her eyes on Haewon —who looked to be growing a bit annoyed— as she spoke.

After five counts of minutes, you’d hear a few pairs of feet approaching, and you’d turn yourself around to face them with a wee bit of hesitance. 

“Finally! Well, anyways, this is my roomate Y/n and her best friends, Yujin and Ningning.” 

“Is Haewonnie mad at me?”

“Don’t even get me started with that—”

“Yeah, okay, okay. I brought my roommate too, Seunghan, and his best friend Sohee.”

Him again. 

Everything was flashing back in your mind in one full swing, the letters, graduation day, the aspirin. It wouldn’t be as bad looking back at it, but he was right there. Perhaps you made a mistake on graduation day? maybe he was just in the way of your anonymous best friend who stood near the flagpole. But he was the only one there. —your thoughts would stray far from the conversation at play, but you wouldn’t let yourself get too lost in your head to shut everyone out. You tried shutting him out, but somehow your eyes were progressively becoming so drawn to his own. Why was he suddenly giving you this much attention? it should’ve been over the moment you had rejected the aspirin, the morning you woke up on his bed, but he was here again, and he’s different. 

It posed a question, what is it that could truly change somebody? an event? a place? another person? you could say, from that night alone you could observe that he’s changed as much as you did. A lot more smiley —like you, a bit timid, but still very open —like you, listened very carefully and very well, especially to you. You’d mind him the entire night, but made sure you were still being a functional friend and not just sitting there like an idiot thinking about this one guy that you suddenly couldn’t get off of your head —get out!

The moment would come where it was finally time to say goodbye. Everyone was so nice to you and your friends that nothing else came out of your other than small thank you’s whilst you gave them little waves, even him. He waved at you too, but he seemed too happy for his own good. 

That night however, while you got your stuff fixed, opening the bag you brought to the get-together for anything you would need for class the next day, you’d be met with a small piece of paper, folded in half.

good luck for tomorrow’s classes, it was really nice seeing you again. i missed you, y/n —there it was again, that stupidly cute bear that could easily be mistaken for a koala.

You really had nothing else left to do than to just wait for the sun to rise again, but not without giving everything an hour of your thought. You’re dazed with his sudden, and very unexpected appearance at that get-together, though you could never be sure, he didn’t seem to be the same Seunghan that bounced from girl to girl, ignoring you —something you so desperately wanted to get off your mind, but it was all coming back now. Because what could be the reason for him to write you all those letters? suddenly he was so concerned for you now? Was it because you almost lost your life? Was this just his pity getting the better of him? 

Whatever it may be, it was for sure driving you insane. 

“Good morning Y/n! I went down to get breakfast and I noticed you got mail, I fetched it for you if it’s alright, figured it might be from your family.” your eyes went wide at the envelope Haewon held up to your groggy face. 

It’s not from my family, they’d never, “Thank you.” —you had a hunch of whom it might be from.

And your hunch was right. 

good morning! i was hoping maybe you’d consider (you really don’t have to though) having lunch with me later today? and maybe we can talk for real, no pressure though! you really don’t have to show up (but please do?). i know you know who i am now, and i totally get why you’d react the way you did, i honestly would’ve reacted the same way (i really tried to draw some kind of emoticon with a bear, but i’m not exactly an artist).

You were already at the dining hall with Yunjin and Ningning when you read the letter. Though, with furrowed eyebrows, you wondered when and where exactly you’d be meeting him for lunch, other than that, your chortle by the end of reading it was very telling.

“Another letter? your secret admirer followed you to Yonsei?” your tittering escalated into a hearty laugh leaving Yujin wide-eyed. “Wait, do you already know who it is?”

“Yeah, I know him very well.” you replied, leaving them with a sheepish grin. 

“Him? Who is it?” both of them left their mouths agaped when you continued to chuckle at them.

“You’ll find out eventually.”

“And when exactly is ‘eventually’?” 

Lunch? you really didn’t know where else to go other than the dining hall, so you went there again for lunch time. You told your friends that you were waiting for this not so mysterious person, and they’d situate themselves at a table farther, but near enough to see whoever sits at your table.

Whilst you waited, you’d grab your lunch from the food queue. Once sat, your eyes would constantly shift from your food to the entrance, and you could only take tiny bites, not wanting to inhale your food entirely when your company was yet to arrive. You toyed with the single piece of vegetable on your plate using a steel spoon, did he stood me up? —at that point you had even received a text from Yujin that read, where the hell is that idiot?

He’s right there. By chance, more desirably by fate, glancing towards the entrance your eyes would stay there, locked with his. Both of you would shy away as he got closer, and when he was finally at your table he would softly utter, “I’m sorry, did I keep you waiting?”

Yes —you’d think to yourself, yet you’d shake your head at him at a staggered pace. For a moment you thought he’d sit next to you, walking to the empty seat next to you, but then he’d go full circle, sitting across from you. 

Right in front of you is a plastic bag, quite obviously food. “Oh, is this…”

“It’s chicken, you can save it for later if you want, it’d still taste good if you microwave it again, you have a microwave, right?” you almost laugh, he was just as comical as he was in his letters.

You wondered if this was what changed, or if this had been the Seunghan behind that playboy facade all along. “Yes, Seunghan, I have a microwave.”

Later that day, your friends just had to have a talk with you, it was the four of you in your dorm room, Haewon being included by chance. Firstly of course, you had to give your roommate a little summary of what had been of your highschool life, who you used to be, and him of course. 

With utter disbelief, gasps were evoked, one after another like chimes until Ningning spoke, “I still can’t believe that was the Hong Seunghan from highschool, I mean, he did seem a lot nicer at last night’s dinner, but who would’ve known?”

He’s changed for good, as he should —you thought, you were in college after all, it would only make sense for him to get himself together.

“But, if he’d been giving you those letters since highschool, do you think he'd have changed then?” The question came from Haewon who was very clearly immersed in your story.

“Maybe? I didn’t really see him as often, and, yeah, I kind of hated him then.” you mentioned it in your story too, how he used to be so apathetic towards you. 

“Oh, yeah. So how’d lunch go?” the three had their noses pointed towards you, trapping you against the headboard of your bed. 

“It was good.” really Y/n? —you’d question yourself, because everything you could recall from lunch that day was just the two of you shying away from each other’s eyes, seemingly waiting on each other to speak. 

“How good?” 

Fine would’ve been a better word. It was your first time having lunch with him, let alone spending time with him. You held your first actual conversation, and he was very unlike how you’d hear him talk to others back then. Most importantly, he was all eyes and ears for you. It was the very first instance where your eyes would gaze into each other long enough for you to feel something you had never felt before.

good morning! you know, i should’ve asked yesterday, but would it be okay if i got your number? just wondering hehe, also you can tell me if you want me to stop with the letters, maybe you’d be more accustomed to messages (okay, it looks like a bear, right? sohee told me it doesn’t, i got a little too paranoid about it.) 

Though feeling a little awful having to go to class again, today sparked a fire in you, a sort of motivation, a new objective if you will. 

This time, you’d approach him at that one class you shared. He’d freeze when he saw your figure taking wary steps towards him, anyways, shouldn’t he be the one approaching you?

You’d stand in front of him for a few seconds before very nonchalantly sticking a post-it near his chest, on his dress shirt. You’d give him a small smile before making your way out of the lecture hall. 

xxxx - xxx - xxxx, ttyl <3 —he thought he must’ve looked ridiculous wearing such a bashful grin, anyways he couldn’t care less, not at all when he had a conversation with you to look forward to at the end of the day. 

hi? sorry if i’m bothering you, i don’t know if you’re busy or not, personally, i’m not busy, not saying you can’t be busy. if you’re busy maybe we can talk when you’re not busy anymore heh

He writes letters over messages too? —you’d giggle to yourself, curling up into a ball as you messaged him back, not really busy, hi :))

OH

HELLO

so, yeah 

i just hope, idk

i’ve been contemplating

it’s ok han, go ahead

i just wanted to say i’m sorry for everything, from highschool and all that. it just didn’t feel right to just move on from everything knowing how much it affected you. 

i hope this isn’t overwhelming for you

i should’ve said this irl

but lowkey i’m kinda scared of confrontations

yea, i can tell lol

YOU CAN?

oh

yeah

i see why

i’m one idiot sandwich

You hummed quietly to yourself, biting your bottom lip as you typed, more like an idiot cupcake

a cupcake? 

yea

u were a jerk, but ur very sweet as it turns out

oh, sorry bout that hehe

u rlly don’t have to keep saying sorry

i’ve forgiven u a long time ago

really?

thank you, it really means a lot

like A LOT A LOT

thank you for also considering meeting me for lunch and talking to me n stuff and not ignoring me

and also, i hope u don’t think i’m playing you with those letters

i meant every word, all from the heart :3

that doesn’t sound too cheesy right? god i’m sweating right now

no han 😭

i think it’s very sweet

and really adorable

ur so adorable

Explode —he thought he’d explode right then and there. You were calling him adorable? he’d never foreseen this ever occurring, it seemed unreal at most.

seunghan?

yes

i’m alive :D —you’d think he was aware of how cute he was, but truly it was just the effect you had on him.

By that time, you thought the letters would stop coming, after all it’d be easier for him to message you. 

“Good morning Y/n! I grabbed your mail for you, it came with food, some melon bread, if I had to guess, this is from…” Haewon would eye you keenly, nodding at her, she’d only nod back in response, catching the signal.

good day! —wow, that sounded like a message from the dean, but anyways, good morning to you, miss lovely. i’d like to propose something, so you, me, your friends, my friends —lunch, sounds good?

It would be the five of you at lunch, talking about whatever was there to talk about —mostly professors you didn’t like, and students that caught your attention— talking, throwing a few jokes around and laughing altogether. It would all be harmless fun, well, that was until all you could see was each other. At first it would all be pure coincidence, but then after a few more coincidences, suddenly your eyes looked for each other. It was like playing tag, and your friends are all ‘it’. Eventually, your friends would catch up to you two, not outrightly saying it, but they could tell something was at play. 

“Y/n?” 

“Yes?”

What was I gonna say? “Oh, uh…”

“Seunghan?”

“Um, yeah. I’ll talk to you later.” —his smile was very sure, very eager for your heeding.

═══════════════════════════════════════

ur going to movie night?

i got the good shit 😎

i’m scared

fear not damsel

i’m sure ur gonna love it fr fr

who r u calling damsel 🤨

oh sorry

princess (?)

that better?

see u at sullyoon’s

bye shinchan •^•

see ya princess >:)

It’s been a while, a while nearing five months. What’s changed? nothing much, you got closer, more comfortable, though not face to face, through messages you just seemed to spew anything at each other displacing all worries that once floated around your mind. And of course, you still received the letters —one hundred and ninety-four letters, from the very first day till today.

FOR NARNIA! I AM excited :)) we’re watching EVERY movie in the franchise, you better pack your softest blanket, AND, also, i have a little gift for you. just a little something, i hope you love it as much as i do. —a drawing of a smiling bear, at some angles uncanny, making you laugh on the way back up to your dorm room after fetching his letter.

You gave a lot of thought on picking out pajamas for this one-night occasion, cozy or cute? Why not both?

“I knew it’d be so cute on you! I can’t wait for everyone else to see!” Haewon would coo at you, caressing the fuzz of your lion onesie. “Do the roar.”

“No.”

You and roommate would walk your way to Sullyoon’s dorm room —one she shared with Seeun— in your fuzzy and colorful onesies, with a few snacks and beverages at hand. And of course you wouldn’t forget your fluffy comforter. 

“Hi —Oh my God, that’s so cute!” like you expected, Yujin and Ningning would come cooing at you too, and soon Sullyoon and Seeun. 

Yujin gently squished your cheeks together. “Are you excited for the movie?” you’d asked through squished cheeks. 

“Of course cutie.” —and a slight poke to your left cheek. 

“FOR NARN—” Seunghan would stop in his tracks when he saw you all huddled up at one end of the ouch in your fuzzy lion onesie. “...nia.”

You’d perk up at the sound of his voice, giving him a peppy wave. “Hi!” you mouthed at him, and he’d happily wave back rushing beside you. 

In between the two of you were pillows and a few plushies. “I got us some turtle chips, don’t tell the others.” he’d whisper.

“Why not?”

“Limited supply, princess.”

Soon, everyone would settle down, snacks laid out where everyone could reach to take a handful, and of course, your beloved turtle chips would be hidden under a blanket laying on top of yours and Seunghan’s laps. The lights went dim, and the movie was on. 

“We should do Harry Potter next.” 

“Chill girly, we haven’t even gotten this one started.” —and laughter. 

The movie was fun, as far as you could tell. It was quite difficult to find any sense of focus for the movie when you could feel the warmth of his body, even being a few inches apart on the floor, both leaning against the edge of the couch. You’d use the turtle chips as an excuse to look anywhere near his direction at multiple points in the movie, reaching for some chips from the blanket —it was dark so you’d have to make extra effort anyway. The twelfth time you reached into that bag of chips you shared, the back of your hands would brush against each other, and you’d flinch, moving your hand away almost immediately. 

“Sorry.” he’d whisper. 

As the night went on, it would happen more often, and you would care less and less, until not at all. Either way, you were both just in for the snack, and maybe a little more. 

Three movies in, you’d glance beside you, seeing a drowsy Seeun next you with Ningning laying herself against Seeun’s side, already asleep. You looked up, Sohee seemed to actually be invested in the movie, and so was Sullyoon, Yujin and Sunoo? Well, they were awake, but they might just be watching something else. 

“Y/n?” you’d lower your head, almost jumping at the close proximity of your faces. 

“What is it Han?” you were able to utter quietly, subsiding your flustered state. 

He just stares for a while, taking in the colors on the tv screen reflecting on your glistening eyes. Breaking his trance, in a whisper, he’d ask, “You read my letter this morning, right?”

“Of course” I always do —you weren’t brave enough to tell him the rest just yet.

“Here’s my gift.” From behind him, he’d bring out a little teddy bear, one in your favorite color. “And also, I wanted to give you my letter for tomorrow in advance —I feel like this is pretty convenient timing.” Now, from under the blanket, he would bring out an envelope, colored a nice, light orange.

He hands it to you, and you’d very gently take it from his hand as you whispered again, “Thank you, Han.” 

The letter seemed to be a lot more decorated. The envelope was of somewhat higher quality —it was a lot thicker— and it had a few stickers here and there, you could tell he was trying to get a pattern of some sort. You were eager to read through it right then, but just as you opened the envelope, he brought his hand to lower yours that held the envelope, moving his body closer to yours in the process. “It’d be better if you read it tomorrow.”

Your sides were pressed onto each other, but none of you would budge. You’d just go back to the movie, or attempt to do so. With the fleeting time, you were already halfway into the last movie. When your yawn deflated, you’d feel some weight on your shoulder. You were, in all honesty, too sleepy to capture all of your emotions. And without second thought, you’d allow your head to fall on the one that lies on your shoulder. 

The letter —suddenly you were wide awake. You glanced to your side, seeing his alluring visage, closed lips and slight agape mouth, you chuckled, ever so quietly as to not wake him up. You would very carefully open the envelope, freeing the folded piece of paper. You gave yourself a few seconds to take in the tiny sketches of bears, Shinchan, stars, hearts and other whatnots. 

hey, i hope you have time to read everything, i'm very nervous writing this too. i just wanted to say that for the first time in my life i found something —no, someone i can never seem to move on from, someone i would never give up, not even for my own life. i know i was never the best person you could have around, and i have so much guilt in me for taking my chances for granted. i've liked you since october 12th 2020, it's been four years, we're also in college now. i hope you don't think i'm only saying this for my own sake, but i just wanted you to know that's it's been you since october 12th 2020. i was young and stupid, i cringe at this excuse but maybe it's true after all, but still it was so wrong. nothing was stopping me from pursuing you the moment i saw your beautiful face —your beautiful self, you're so beautiful, everything about you is beautiful. at that time i never knew you thought so badly of yourself, please don't ever think that again. if others can only see your flaws, all i see is how perfect you are, hoping this doesn't sound too cliche to the point where you'd think it's fake :(( it's true, i love you. we're like jack and rose —or maybe not, jack dies lol (i mean i'd die for you anyway), romeo and juliet? oh, no, they both die, so, noah and allie? ...no, NO. even better, seunghan and y/n, y/n and seunghan. hoping this love story is one where no one dies (at least not until we're, like, 90) and no one is forced to move places because your parents hate me and vice versa —anyways, i really love you, and i totally understand if you're doubting me, before i end this letter i just wanted to thank you for being so strong too, again, i love you.

The final movie ended with your watered eyes, but it wouldn’t be the movie that would evoke your emotions. With a few blinks, your tears would fall, and slowly, your hand would creep under the blanket, reaching —not for the chips, but for the hand of the very first you’d call your lover. 

Your touch would wake him from his slumber, and he’d look at you, head slightly hovering over your shoulder. “Are you okay? was the movie that sad?”

You’d chuckle softly, giving his hand a light squeeze. “I just —I love you too, Seunghan.”

“Wait, you read the letter?” eyes curious, but still evidently sleepy, you’d guide his head back on your shoulder. “Oh, you did.”

Silence took over, and soon light snores from your friends. You’d slowly shift yourself to a position where you were facing him, and he’d do the same. He was physically unable to hold back, lips planting a soft kiss on your forehead. You two figured your friends are already far off into dreamland, so you’d get comfortable, arms wrapped around each other. He has one arm under your head, hand drawing circles on your hair, his other arm was wrapped around your waist allowing his hand to settle on the end of your spine. You had both arms wrapped around his waist, snuggling into him with his gift teddy bear stuffed in between the two of you.

“I feel like it'd be better if you heard it from me directly.” He tried his best to be very quiet, but would end up earning a groan from one of your friends. 

“Just bring yourself closer, Han.” —he was more than happy to oblige, and now you could feel each other’s warm breath hitting the skin on your faces. 

“I love you Y/n.” —and of course, every happily ever after ends with a true love's kiss. 

End.

#riize #briize #riize au #riize fanfic #riize x reader #riize fluff #riize angst #riize seunghan #hong seunghan #riize imagines #Spotify

[mimikittysblog]

Soon to Be

Pairing: Husband! Jay x Reader

Genre: Angst, a lil bit of smut, fluff at the end

Synopsis: You and Jay are in the process of getting a divorce, however on this fateful night you found yourself under him once again. Is your soon to be divorce still gonna happen? Or will this moment change things for the better or the worse?

Warnings: Sex, mentions of arguments and divorce, i think thats it? If I miss anything let me know!

Word count: 1,9k words

A/N: OKAY I actually have so many other works I have yet to finish but I’m just gonna squeeze in this one. I got inspired to make this morning cause of a TikTok lol. I hope y’all like it! There’s not much dialogue in the beginning so I’m sorry if it’s boring but I do hope you guys will still like it! Okay then, enjoy!

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

"J-jay.."

"Fuck."

"Aaah! Jay!" You moaned out as your soon to be ex husband thrusted harder.

Yup.

Soon to be ex husband.

You and Jay have been married for almost ten years, yet unfortunately times got rough. Big arguments over little things started becoming common, he became busy with work and almost never had any time for you and the kids etc. Pretty cliche but it happened.

It all accumulated into the biggest fight you two ever had and it ended with the two of you agreeing to get a divorce.

Not long after the process began and he even moved out already. It's been a pretty long process and you're not entirely sure why.. it even started to make you wonder if this was even worth it. Cause truth be told. You still loved your husband with all your heart. Then knowing that soon your signatures will be on divorce papers and your kids are always wondering what's gonna happen now is eating away at your heart.

What you didn't know is that it was eating away at his too.

Yet how did you end up here? yknow. under him again.

Well it was your son's birthday actually. So of course you all got together to celebrate it. However as Jay was about to leave to go back to his new place it started to rain heavily. Almost a hurricane really.

Or maybe you guys were just trying to find an excuse to have him stay the night.

So you suggested that to him. Furthermore not wanting to be cruel to the father of your kids and the love of your life you let him sleep in the same bed with you.

"Huh.. you haven't really changed anything did you?" He commented with a small longing smile when he walked into his.. old room.

Fuck did that hurt to think about.

To think about how he doesn't come home here anymore.

How this technically isn't his home anymore.

How now whenever he walks through the door he calls home he's no longer greeted by his kids and the love of his life.

"..I thought it was perfect the way it was.. so I didn't see the need to change it." You replied while looking down, leaning against the door.

Jay gulped before looking back at you and making his way towards you.

"..I thought it was perfect too.." He whispered when he was right in front of you.

..Was this still about the room?

You took a big gulp before looking up at your soon to be ex husband.

He looked at you like how he used to. Like you were the only thing in this universe.. like he loves you.

He does.

Yet you were too stubborn to acknowledge it. Trying so hard to convince yourself that he no longer had you in his heart. The divorce is about to happen.

But why is he looking at me like that? Like he still wants me? Like he still loves me?

He does.

and why aren't I looking away?

Because I still love him too.

Not being able to contain it anymore you both grabbed onto each other and shared a passionate lustful kiss.

And thats how you ended up here.

"Ugh. I-I've missed you!" Jay groaned as he was starting to near his climax, also trying to keep it down, not wanting to wake the kids.

"J-jay..! We.. ah! we really.. s-shouldn't be doing this..!" You croaked.

"But.. why does it feel so good??" He whispered, nuzzling his head into your neck.

"M-maybe its just cause you h-haven't found someone else to get your dick wet."

He stopped.

That's when you realized that you let that slip.

You didn't mean to say that..

He then pulled away to look at you, eyes wide but eyebrows furrowed. Truly appalled at what you just said to him.

"I.. Do... do you really think that..? Y/n. I.. would never. do that to you. Y/n. I'm still your legally wedded husband. and.. even if I wasn't already I would never find someone else to- y/n no one is like y- I just.." Jay couldn't even speak. Not believing that you would ever think this.

"...if.. if you really think all that I'm doing is just trying to use you for my personal sexual needs then we can stop." He explained sternly looking into your eyes.

..No.. You didn't think that.

He was making love to you. You knew. You felt it. You don't do this with someone you don't love.

But.. but you were soon to be divorced. It was soon to be over. He can't still be in love with you?

Can he..?

So in confusion and stubbornness you slowly put your hands on his chest pushing him away softly.

"We.. we should stop."

Jay said nothing as he looked down before slowly pulled out of you. He continued to keep the silence as he put your nightgown back on you and dressed himself. He then got in bed next to you and turned away.

"Goodnight Y/n.."

"...Goodnight Jay.. I.." You stopped yourself as tears slid down your face.

Not knowing Jay had stopped himself too.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

The next morning Jay woke up before you did. He smiled seeing you next to him and wanted so bad to just hold you in his arms and never let go.

But he had to leave soon, and he doesn't know if you wanted that too. So he got up and made his way to the kitchen and seeing he had some time he decided to make breakfast for his family like he used to. Before work, pride and other stupid shit that doesn't really matter got in the way.

Once he was finished he still had some time so he decided to prepare his kids uniform like how he did back then. Seeing how his kids sleeping peacefully as he prepared their uniforms just break his heart even more.

God he missed this so much.

Even when he still lived here he hadn't done this in so long. Plus he realized their uniforms have gone a size up, his little ones were starting to grow and he's been missing it. He hates this. Once their uniforms were prepared, he gave his kids each a kiss on their heads and a little note to motivate them through out the day.

He didn't have anymore time. He had to leave. But he didn't care anymore. He made his way back to your room and sees you still sleeping so peacefully. However as he got closer he saw the tear stains on the pillow and the tear tracks down your beautiful cheeks.

He fucked up. Big time.

So with that he kissed his wife forehead lovingly, also left her a personal little note as he left to make things right.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

It was now the afternoon and its almost time to pick up the kids from school.

You were really grateful Jay did what he did before he left. It really warmed your heart even though it brought tears to your eyes. Your kids seem to really appreciate it too, showing you the cute note their father left them.

You were just about to open the door and leave to pick them up but jumped back when you saw Jay at the door with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in one hand and some documents in the other.

"Jay..? w-what are you doing here?"

"...To make things right."

"Jay? what?"

"I'm sorry.. for everything. Absolutely fucking everything. From the moment I started ignoring my duties as your husband and the father to our precious kids until now. Y/n.. I want to start over. Can we start over please? I miss you so much and I.. I still love you."

"You..? b-but jay were soon to be d-"

"I know. I know. But please stop with that.. just for a moment while I lay out my heart for you."

You took a deep breath then you nodded letting him continue.

"After what happened last night.. I couldn't believe how far I let this happened. I.. let you believed that I didn't love you anymore. That you were nothing more than someone I could use. And that I could ever find someone else other than you for anything. Y/n.. I fucked up. Everything. and honestly I don't even think I deserve to ask for a redo.. cause after last night I'm not sure I deserve you.. and after what I did to our family I don't know if you deserve someone as shitty as me..." Jay couldn't keep it any longer as his tears started to flow, causing yours to flow too.

"But I know.. that no one on this earth can love you as much as me. Because I love you.. I love you so so much. My love for you has always been real.. every time I told you that I love you has been nothing but the truth. And I know I haven't been proving that to you.. for fuck sake we were in the process of getting a divorce.. and I let this all happen to the point that this finally showed up in my email.." he continued through choked sobs

He then showed you the documents he was holding, which were the divorce papers. The papers that only needed your signatures to finalize everything.

"And I will forever be sorry for that. I.. I don't even remember who suggested it.. I don't know why I even agreed to it because I'm so madly fucking in love with you and I cannot just let us go. I need you.. I love you.. and I'm hoping you still love me too.. Even though I don't deserve you anymore.. or maybe I never did.. I'm still hoping you can let me fix everything and that we can have a do over..." He said looking at you with hopeful eyes as he offered the bouquet to you..

It looked exactly the same as the one he gave you when he confessed..

and the one when he gave you when you went on your first date.

and when he proposed.

He always remembered how much you loved this bouquet.

"But.. but if you truly... want this divorce.. then we can go inside to sign these.. I won't force you to accept me again... I just needed you to know that you will always.. always. have my heart. No matter what. No matter when. Until the day I die and even after. Even after time itself ends. My heart will forever be yours."

Hearing him tell you that just made you break out into sobs as well as you envelope him in a big hug.

"..Y-you remember your vow..." You sobbed into his shoulder.

Flashing back to the moment he told you this on your wedding day as a part of his vows.

"How could I ever forget..?"

You pulled away and held his face, staring into his eyes.

"Are you sure you want to try again..?"

"As sure as the day I asked you to be mine. as the day I asked you to marry me. and especially as sure as the day I said I do."

With that you took the papers and flung it across the room as you kissed your no longer soon to be ex husband.

"I love you so much Hubby." you mumbled against his lips.

"I love you too wifey. Now lets go pick up the kids and get some dinner."

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

© mimikittysblog 2023

#enhypen #jay park #park jongseong #enhypen jay #enhypen imagine #jay imagine #enhypen smut #jay smut #enhypen fluff #jay fluff #enhypen angst #jay angst #mimikittysblog

[buttercandy16]

Mine to Covet

(Dark!ReverendMotherJessica x Female!Reader)

Word Count: 3.9K

Summary: An unfortunate fate where your lover's mother wants to have you all to herself, and she's willing to do anything.

Warning(s): Dark fanfiction, Smut, Yandere, Dub-Con, etc.

A/N: I do love my yandere. Another anon also asked for a yandere/kidnapping fic and I'll probably write that one next. Also, English is not my first language so please don't come after me due to my grammar. Enjoy!

Gimme me more requests!! Please!

-_-_-

JESSICA’S POV

As a Bene Gesserit, I possess supreme levels of discipline, including complete control over my emotions and urges. So how is it that I can feel my blood boil in anger and taste the bitterness of envy violate my tongue as I watch my own son woo the woman he claims as his? Why do I feel the strong urge to cut off his hand the moment it touched yours?

At first, I was confused by this foreign feeling, so I grew angry with myself. I didn’t understand what it was.

It first occurred when Paul, my only son, introduced you to me. A Fremen girl he has grown to fancy. I remembered how he gushed over you, clearly seeking his mother’s approval, my approval. But no words from his lips reached my interest for I had my focus solely on the divine creature presented to me. With a barely concealed amusement, I observed your fidgeting form battling the urge to look me straight in the eyes, it was clear to me that you were nervous, the reason may be from knowing that I am the Reverend Mother or maybe because it is I who birthed the Lisan al Gaib or simply because I am Paul’s mother, it mattered not to me. What mattered was the pleasant feeling that I get from your presence alone. Such a strange girl… However, my amusement ended swiftly when Paul held your hand in his. My breath hitched and my once relaxed hand turned to a fist as my vision started to bleed red.

What is happening to me?! Why do I feel this way?! I remembered muttering inside my head. I felt as if I was no longer in control of my own body. Fear clawed against my skin and with great haste, I silently spoke the litany of fear to calm myself. Careful not to expose the battle within to anyone present. Unfortunately, I find myself feeling the same way right now.

Not long after realization struck me like a ton of bricks. The dreadful realization that I simply covet you…the girl whom my son is in love with. I want you as much as he does… maybe even more so.

I blame my late Duke’s death for having these thoughts. Perhaps it is caused by the sudden loss of the man I loved that pushed me into having these strong urges towards you. Maybe I see him in you and I'm feeling lonely. Or maybe I’m just truly damaged and deranged that my head is now filled with such corrupted thoughts. I am desiring something or rather someone I can’t have.

But you will have her… she is yours… the voices in my head whisper.

“No, she’s with Paul… She belongs to my son,” I whisper back as I look at you longingly while hiding in the shadows.

She belongs to no one else but yours… Yours to love… yours to keep… yours to defile… yours to consume…

“Stop it… You have no idea what you’re saying. I cannot hurt Paul like that,” I weakly argue back as my eyes start to water with tears. I love my son dearly and because of that, I will fight hard against the voices… against my feelings. But deep inside I know I’m fighting a losing battle… I know that I have already lost.

_-_-_

Time passed and bit by bit my resolve crumbled and the thoughts of my son turned into nothing. Now, all I can think of is you… and the millions of other ways I can have you.

She is yours…

Claim her…

She is yours…

Claim her….

Eyes dark with lust and pure deranged obsession I look at you once more while hidden in the shadows as I whisper to myself, “She is mine and I will claim her.”

-_-_-

Y/N POV

"You're so beautiful, " Paul whispered in my ear, making me smile.

We've been sitting out here for some time now. Watching as the sun sets for the night.

"We better go inside, Paul. It's no longer safe to stay out at this hour"

Paul nodded in agreement before he pulled me up with him and we started to walk inside.

"Oh, I almost forgot. My mother wants to see you," I stopped when I heard what he said.

"Why?" I asked, trying to remain calm as much as possible.

Truth be told. Paul's mother, the Reverend Mother, scares me. She’s a Bene Gesserit, she walks in the shadows. No one truly knows what goes on in her mind. All I know is there’s something strong about her presence, but something that felt forbidden and so wrong. She is beautiful as much as she’s dangerous.

In simple terms, I don’t trust her.

"Don't worry, she just wants to talk," he gave me a reassuring smile before leaving me in front of the Reverend Mother's tent.

After taking a deep breath I made my presence known by going inside. My eyes wandered all over the unique decor of the Reverend Mother’s tent until it settled on the middle where there’s a small table with two cups filled with some kind of tea.

“Hello little one,” a sultry voice whispered suddenly into my ear, breaking me out of my thoughts and making me turn to see the Reverend Mother invading my personal space so sensually from behind.

“Forgive me, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she continued with a chuckle.

“No need to ask for forgiveness, Reverend Mother. You didn’t” I lied, trying to remain calm as I felt my cheeks heat up from our proximity. “Paul said that you asked to see me.”

“I did,” Her eyes were on me, filled with intent that I failed to decipher. She brushed her fingertips across my shoulder, causing goosebumps to run along my skin before she motioned for me to sit on the carpeted ground right next to the small table.

After I complied she walked towards me and immediately joined me by sitting close to my side, our clothed thighs lightly brushing against each other.

“Have some tea, I have it specially prepared for us,” she said while gesturing for me to take it, there's a challenging glint in her eyes, daring me to refuse.

With no intention to displease my lover’s mother, I complied and took a little sip. The moment it met my tongue I was surprised to find it very cooling.

“This is good”

“Yes, simple but very soothing. But, you must drink deeply for the full effect,” she said with amusement dripping from her voice.

Without any second thoughts, I did what I was told, and the Reverend Mother seemed satisfied with this as I can see it in her smile. Soon I was holding an empty cup. I had drained it and yet, I’m still thirsty.

“Would you like some more?” she asked.

“Y-yes, If it’s not much of a bother, Reverend Mother,” I replied, self-consciously rubbing the fabric over my hips.

“Not at all, and please... Call me Jessica” she replied, her eyes glinting with something dark as she carefully replenished my cup.

 “As you wish, Jessica. May I know why I'm being summoned?” I breathed, my heart pounding in my chest as our gazes met before I took a generous sip from my drink. There was something undeniably alluring about her, something that both scared and excited me.

The weight of her eyes on me feels invasive like she could see through my cracks and discover all of my weaknesses. She’s watching me as if I’m her prey.

“You must understand, Y/N, I’m a determined woman. Whenever I have an agenda I’ll make sure to do everything in my power to achieve it. Whatever means necessary.” She muttered, leaning in close to my ear. Her warm breath sent shivers down my spine.

“Did Paul touch you yet?” Her tone was casual with her sudden question, but her eyes were anything but. 

“Wh-what?,” I stuttered, feeling my cheeks flush not believing what I was hearing right now.

“Have you given yourself to my son, sexually?” she leaned in closer to me.

“Uh, n-no,” I stammered, my body trembling like a leaf.

“Are you being truthful with me?” she purred, her fingertips ghosting lightly along my exposed neck. It was such a simple yet surprisingly intimate gesture that it made me feel like the tent suddenly caught fire from how hot it was.

I shakily nodded while she only looked at me with satisfaction.

“Have you taken his gift of water yet? Or yours to him?” she asked, scooting closer. Her smell was intoxicating and it made my head spin.

“N-no…not yet. He wants to wait until we are to be married.”

The Reverend Mother snickered under her breath and continued. “I raised that boy and taught him everything I know so he’ll rise and fulfill his destiny one day. But now, I’m starting to have second thoughts. It seems to me he’s just as weak as his father. A beautiful morsel such as yourself standing so willingly at the palm of his hand and yet he never thought about fully claiming you as his. So sure that you’ll stay right where you are. I guess he never thought about someone stealing you away. Such a huge mistake on his part but a blessing for me.” she said with a wicked grin, her delicate fingers tracing slow circles on my forearm as if she were teasing me.

But before I could respond, I noticed that the tent was becoming increasingly warm. Worse, I was finding my body uncomfortably warm. My face was becoming flushed and I was panting. My suit was becoming very confining. How odd, I thought. I grew up wearing this suit, but now I desire nothing more than to get them off.

My eyes landed on my now empty cup next to the Reverend Mother’s. That’s when I realized that she’d never touched her cup, not even a single drop.

She followed my gaze to her cup before catching mine. Slightly tilting her head, she then smiled knowingly.

“I-I need to leave” I croaked back, fear creeping into my bones as alarm bells started ringing in my head. 

But when I was about to stand up, I was immediately met with a sudden dizziness making me sit back down ungracefully.

It felt like my innards were being replaced by some kind of emptiness. I tried to stand again, desperate to leave the tent. I swayed just for a moment before the Reverend Mother caught me and pushed me down with my back against the carpet, a soft gasp of surprise leaving my lips.

She didn’t waste any time as she got on top of me and pinned my hands above my head in a tight grip, sharp nails digging against my skin but not breaking.

The Reverend Mother’s face was close to mine as she intently stared into my fear-filled eyes.

“Oh, no little girl. You’re not going anywhere,” she whispered above me.

Her face was blank from any emotion, but her eyes said it all.

“Did you poison me?” I whimpered. Her grip on my wrist tightened more than before, making me yelp in pain as she cut off the circulation of my blood.

“Of course not, I would never harm you without reason. Only to ensure your utmost obedience. The tea is for making you more pliant, not to kill.” she purred, leaning in close enough that our lips almost brushed. Her warm breath mingled with mine.

“What do y-you want from me?” I stammered, my voice barely audible.

She smiled maliciously at me before she started speaking.

“Isn’t it obvious, dear one? I want you.” one of her hands left my wrist and slowly traced my face with her fingers before she continued, “From the moment we met I already felt a certain pull towards you. I didn’t fully realize what it was until much later. Deep down I know you feel the same. That’s the reason why you went with Paul so that you could be closer to me.”

She’s starting to sound and look very much deranged. To my complete horror, she seems to believe her words to be true.

No…This can’t be happening. Paul… I’m with Paul!

I shook my head no but that was not what she was looking for. I yelped in pain from the sudden sting of her slap against my now-reddened cheek.

“Do not lie to me.” Her tone was assertive as she spoke every word.

“I’m not.” I cried weakly.

Another slap and tears started to run down my cheeks.

She leaned down and her warm wet tongue immediately tasted my despair with delight written all over her face. 

“I don’t like hurting you. But know that I will when I deem it necessary. So you better give me the answer that I want, little girl. Don’t test my patience. Try again.”

I only shook my head once more, refusing to back down. This made her chuckle

”Such a stubborn girl. I’ll enjoy breaking and reshaping you into my good little girl.” she whispered next to my ear.

Is she for real? My mouth fell open as I struggled to say anything. Suddenly I heard footsteps outside the tent.

“Mother, is Y/N still with you?”

Hearing Paul’s voice almost made me tear up with joy thinking that this would all come to an end. But when I looked at the Reverend Mother it seemed like I was dead wrong. Instead of seeing a look of panic, she gave me a wicked grin.

“She is… come inside, my son. I want to show you something.”

Paul entered the tent and suddenly froze where he stood when his eyes landed on us. The woman he sires pinned underneath his own mother’s body.

“Wh-what is going on here?” Paul asked as he looked at us confused.

“Paul, help me, please. Your mother has lost her mind” I pleaded as he went closer.

“Mother! Get off her ri–”

“SILENCE!” Paul’s words were cut off as I saw his mouth shut in command. His eyes were immediately filled with betrayal and hurt when he realized that his mother used the voice on him. But his mother did not care at all, “Kneel and do not move” she commanded his son once more.

I looked at her as if she lost her mind. Perhaps she did.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, little one. For it is you who made me this way” she leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek. I tried to jerk away but couldn’t. The kiss practically seared my skin like molten lava.

She pulled a dagger from under her robes and then turned towards his son, a slave to her command.

“You know very well that I love you, Paul. But unfortunately for you, my love for Y/N weighs more heavy. I won’t let you have her. She is mine…only mine. And you will watch as I claim her.” her attention then went back to me as she sliced through my stillsuit and garments beneath it. I am now completely naked to her eyes. 

My head turned to Paul and saw the same panic set in his eyes. We were both sobbing and fearful of what was to come.

She laughed maliciously and roughly gripped my chin to look at her.

“Open your mouth” my breath hitched as I felt her voice crawl its way into my head. Not a second passed and my mouth opened.

“Take the gift of my water and you shall become one with me. Take it and you will be mine…forever.” she whispered before spitting into my mouth, “Swallow” she commanded before her lips descended against mine.

Her kiss was violent, forcing her tongue past my gritted teeth.

The tongue quickly found its way around my mouth and explored every inch. In parallel to that, her hands moved around and groped my breast. She slightly massaged them and pinched the erected nipples. It was not that the events aroused me. It was the cold that made my body like that. 

The kiss ended after a while, me being out of the air while the older woman was looking crazier than before. She licked her lips another time before stripping her garments away. She moved and kneeled in front of my face, her warmth being right on top of my face. "Pleasure me, little one." She commanded using the voice commanding voice and I immediately complied.

"Yes!" She started to move her body up and down, making her juice splash on my face. "Now, get that tongue of yours at work, beautiful girl," She ordered and once again tightened the grip, forcing me to obey her order. 

I had to stick my tongue forward, forced to have a taste of the older woman. It was sweet and I couldn't stop myself from moaning from the taste of her. She also moaned at the feeling of my tongue inside her and moved faster until she cummed in my mouth. 

Just as I was about to let go of a sigh, my left leg was lifted, Jessica’s right leg sliding under it. "It is not the end yet! I still have a lot of things I want to teach your body." She pushed her hip forward, making our center meet. 

I can't help but admit that it started to feel so good, so good that I failed to notice that I was no longer under the influence of the voice.

She repeated to thrush several more times, bringing our center together and making them part, and then collide again. She started to moan once again as I did the same, her hands starting to play with my breast, enjoying every contact through my body. Until my first orgasm was ripped from me this evening, followed by the beautiful temptress who laid on top of me while catching her breath from her release. 

She looked down at me in complete amusement as I lay helplessly underneath her. 

Jessica kissed the tip of my nose before sliding her warm body over me. She then began to touch me once more, and that was when I started to squirm a little. She moved her arms around my body, rubbing it in a very erotic way. "So beautiful! I can't help but masturbate thinking about you every day. And now, you are finally mine." She put a hand on my knee and began to gently stroke my leg.

Oh no... please no more...

"P--please... I can't. It's too much" 

I struggled as I tried to pull myself away from her, but my body is still weak from the drugged tea and pleasure.

"Shhhh... I know you can. Just give me one more, little one. I just need to taste you." 

She settled herself in between my legs, parting them by force. 

She reached between my legs and pushed something. It's her finger against my clit, causing my back to arch. "Oh!" I gasped, head falling back. "Oh, oh—" 

Jessica cupped my left breast and mouthed at it, kissing and licking. I didn't know where to look but into her eyes, trying my best not to follow the sound of a silently sobbing man. 

I'm not sure what possessed me at the moment but I was suddenly desperate to taste her lips. 

"Kiss me," I begged. "Please..." 

And she did. Soft and sweet, holding me to her. Tugging my lip with her teeth and stroking my back, my butt. She took hold of my legs, cupping the underside of my knees. Bringing my legs around her waist, she rocked against me, teasing my lip with her tongue. 

I parted my lips for her, tasting her, sighing... Jolting when she tugged on my nipple. "Oh, ow, owie—, please don't—" 

I cried out with pleasure. This was so nice; it felt so good. 

She smiled at me. “You’ve got the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen, my beloved,” she said, reaching to touch me, pulling back the hood of my clit so she could rub me with her thumb. I shivered. “Look at this tiny clit. So fucking adorable, and all mine…” 

She proceeded to slide down my body until she was face to face with my dripping warmth. 

I gasped when she started to lick me and felt my stomach twitch, surprised and excited at Reverend Mother’s eagerness to please me. I felt her tongue trace the outline of my lower lips and shuddered. A moment later, the older woman finally slid her tongue over my clit, and that's when I felt my walls clenching in a sudden spasm, screaming in pure pleasure for the second time. Due to the intensity, I blacked out.

-_-_-

A groan left my lips when I woke up, my body deliciously sore. 

Slightly stretching, that's when I realized that I was not alone.

To my left, Paul stood looking down at me. Tears stained his cheeks, eyes full of hatred.

“P-paul… I–”

“Silence! I don’t need your excuse. You and I are over” Paul spits his words with so much anger that it hurts.

“But Paul, it was your mother’s doing… I didn’t wa–”

“SILENCE”

The command surprised me into shock. Having the Reverend Mother use the voice on me seems to hurt less than having Paul do the same thing.

“You will not speak ill of the Reverend Mother. For she is the mother of your people’s chosen and now… your intended... for you two are fully bonded as one”

Paul’s words confused me greatly. Why would he say such a thing after everything his mother did in front of him? But my thoughts were then silenced when I saw a pair of hands rest on his shoulders. The Reverend Mother’s face appeared next to his.

“That’s enough, my son. I think my beloved has heard enough. You may take your leave” she calmly whispered.

Paul did what his mother asked but not before sparing me one last glance and whispered under his breath… I’m sorry… and now completely leaving me alone with a predator hungry for my flesh.

“What have you done to him?! Did you use your voice?!” I yelled accusingly, but she only laughed at this before kneeling beside my vulnerable form.

“No, Paul is simply being a good son. I raised him well, he knows to never go against my will. I brought him into this world and gave him his birthright, he owes me as much.” She smiled devilishly.

She looked down at me with a predatory grin before slowly tilting my chin with her finger to meet her eyes. 

It was so dark and full of lust that it felt like I was about to drown in it. 

"So here's what will happen from now on, you better listen carefully because everything that is attached to your existence will be at play if I don't get what I want, understood?" I weakly nodded, no longer having the will to fight back. 

"Good girl" Jessica praised before caressing my cheek. 

"You will surrender yourself to me and in time I know that you will so willingly. The more you take the gift of my water, the stronger our bond grows. In the meantime, you will be my obedient darling girl. Whatever I say, goes. Understood?" Her grip on my chin tightened, emphasizing how serious she was. 

"Ye-yes" I stuttered through gritted teeth. 

"If you behave like a good little girl for me, I will reward you with anything you desire, but if you disobey... You will learn that I won't go easy on my punishment. Since that's all settled then, time to quench my thirst." 

"W-with what?" I fearfully asked. 

The Reverend Mother smiled at me before leaning in close, her lips almost touching mine. 

"You."

#lady jessica x reader #dune #lady jessica #rebecca ferguson #dark fanfiction #yandere #dune part 2 #fanfiction #jessica atreides #bene gesserit #obsession

[igotanidea]

Bonding: Damian Wayne x sister!reader

Request: from the prompt list : 4: "Didn't know you liked being pinned to the ground this much

Warning: nothing, it;s just fun and fluff, most likely set in the WFA universe.

***

„What happened to you two?” Dick could barely hold back the terror in his voice upon watching his younger siblings. Jason however was not so considerate and  straight forward started laughing at Y/N and Damian, the former with the nose swollen and red like a Rudolf and the latter with childish patches all over his forearms.

“Have you two escaped the circus? Sure as hell with such look you would fit there!” he let out a laugh so loud it captured the attention of no one else than Bruce, who became alerted in an instant. It wasn’t usual for Jason to be this happy and chuckling and it was …. suspicious. 

Similar to Dick’s, his face dropped upon seeing his kids in such damaged state and just sighed deeply.

“What did you do?” he rubbed his forehead, looking up to the sky probably wondering what mistake did he make (well, the question should have been – what mistake didn’t he make?). Never before had he looked so fatherly, like when Y/N and Damian started their mischief.

Y/N was the middle child, younger than Dick and Jason, but older than Tim and Damian, but Bruce could swear that sometimes she acted like a literal five year old. Especially when any of her brothers started messing up with her things. Especially when Damian did. No one could ever tell what atrocities she could resort to when he grabbed something that wasn’t his.

“It was all his fault!” Y/N cried out, her voice muffled by the swollen nose and she sounded more like a wounded animal rather than a human being.

“I am beyond your level, Y/N and cannot be blamed for…..”

“SIT!” Bruce growled in desperation, but neither of his kids listened. If anything they started bantering even more.

“Not many parental successes on your account, right Bruce?” Jason mocked, but the oldest Wayne didn’t bother answering. Instead he grabbed Damian by the collar and yanked him back and in the air so his feet started dangling above the ground. Luckily Y/N was too tall to do that to her as well.

“This is derogatory” Damian crossed his arms and pouted, the funniest look of her brother making Y/N laugh loudly “put me down, father so I can kick her ass again and….”

“Again?” Bruce eyes focused on his youngest son “what do you mean, again?”

“Nothing!” Y/N chimed in, desperate to keep some kind of secret

“Oh, are you ashamed to admit you got beaten by me in the combat, dear sister?”

“Shut up you little rascal!” Y/N threw herself at him, but this time it was Dick who grabbed her and hold her back

“What did he do?” Grayson asked, knowing well enough how much of a menace Damian could be

“NOTHING!” the boy struggled against his father’s grip

“Who’s afraid to admit what now?!” Y/N smirked at him.

“Ok, that’s it” clearly it was Jason who lost patience first “talk or I’ll draw blood.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” His sister threw him a daring gaze

“Wanna try me, sis? You already got a swollen nose and I can bet that this guy you like…..”

“SHUT UP JASON!”

“wait, there’s a guy?” Bruce was confused “who is he? Why didn’t I met him? How much does he know about us?”

“Not the time, Bruce!”

“LET ME GO DICK!!”

“Sorry, sunshine can’t really do that. Unless you tell us what happened.”

“fine!” she hissed “fine! I’ll tell you!”

An hour ago

“DAMIAN WAYNE!”  her voice echoed through the whole Wayne Manor and made the glassed windows shake. Honestly, how could no one in the family of vigilante hear that was beyond her. “you little piece of shit, where the hell are you!?”

“Have you called me sister?” Damian emerged from his room, looking nothing but innocent with the play-pretend smile. But Y/N knew better. She was fairly aware that he was skillful in using that Wayne gene trying to charm people. Too bad his eyes were glistening with mischief.

“You can’t play me, you demon.”

“Did something happened?” he titled his head in curiosity, observing his sister getting more and more angry. Oh, how entertaining it was to see her face get red, her fist clench. Fascinating how girl’s hormones worked.

But clearly, he underestimated Y/N. Yes, she was an emotional young woman surrounded by no less than four brothers, but she was also an adopted Wayne. And the realization of that fact made her calm down. Damian wanted her to get mad. Which meant he had some sort of plan.

“My little, sweet, wonderful, lovely brother.” She quickly changed the method of acting

“Huh?” Damian frowned, still not used to people acting nice towards him. This was…. unexpected. Y/N was clearly cunning and he had to be prepared.

“Tell me, did you happen to see my phone somewhere around?”

“No.” the answer was clearly too fast to be convincing.

“Really?” she smiled and looked over his shoulder inside his room. The perks of being taller and seeing more. “Then what is lying there on your desk?”

“That’s mine.”

“Damian…..” her voice became serious, her posture tensing “give it back to me. Now.”

“No.” he crossed arms, mimicking her position. Oh, they were both preparing for a fight, neither even beginning to consider the option of relenting. “does father know about your little crush?”

“YOU WERE READING MY TEXTS?!!?”

“Do you even realize in how much danger you put us because of your silly little….”

“AH!!” he did not get to finish the sentence when she went at him taking him by surprise. However, not enough of a surprise that he didn’t manage to step back. Instead of pining him to the ground she tripped and dashed into his room, immediately reaching towards the bed to grab her mobile, but Damian grabbed her arm and yanked her back.

“You little rascal!” she yelled, when they started a real Batman-style fight. “It’s mine!”

“it’s a violation of the rules!” he spat back “we’re not supposed to be in a relationship with civilians!”

“what would you know about relationships?!” Y/N blocked his punch, turning around and tripping him up. “you were raised by freaking assassins!”

“How bad we don’t get to choose family, right?” he hissed, falling on his back on the ground but immediately getting up and attacking her again.

Y/N was good, skilled and intuitive, but Damian was smaller and maybe a bit faster and that’s why she did not see it coming when he glanced off the mattress and landed on her back, trying to tackle her to the ground

“GET OFF ME!” she yelled trying to untangle his arms from her neck

“Not a chance!”

They were struggling so hard that at one point this fight moved towards the corridor and with just one wrong step they started falling down the stairs, still doing their best to damage one another. Damian was pulling at Y/N hair, while she covered his eyes in an attempt to blind him. It took a few minutes of weltering, grunting and dapping before they ended up at the base of the stairs.

“Auch…..” they both moaned in unison, their bones and bones already bruised and damaged. It really did hurt.

“HAHA! I won!” Damian yelled as he realized that the position in which they landed allowed him to sit on top of her sister, his weight holding her down.

“Get off me you idiot…..” she whined trying to push him away, but not succeeding at all.

“Didn't know you liked being pinned to the ground this much, Y/N” Damian laughed at her poor, week attempt to get rid of him.

“AH!” she cried out again and started waving her hands at him, Damian instantly started the same and now they were laying on the floor, with him still on top of her, acting like toddlers and emitting battle cries.

“MASTER DAMIAN! MISS Y/N!”

Shit.

Alfred.

The butler just sighed deeply, too used to many very strange views and behaviors around the manor. Too many to care and ask questions.

“Please get up from the floor. Miss Y/N, your nose is bleeding and as for you, Master Damian you got bloody scratches all over your arms.”

“Sorry Alfred.” They followed every word Alfred said to them and stood beside him with their heads hanging low.

“Let’s patch you two up.” Alfred motioned them towards the living room, gathering medical supplied on the way.

Now.

“And he gave you a animal shaped patch!” Jason laughed so hard he had to grab his belly, almost rolling of the couch

“Didn’t you hear a word, Jace? He took her phone! She had every right to be angry and act irrational…” Dick took his sister’s site

“Hm.” Bruce grunted

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but good job on being stealthy” Jason chucked towards Damian “normally it would be Tim to try and do such thing.”

“Are you taking his side now?” Y/N’s eyes went wide “I can’t believe….. ah!” sudden outburst made her nose bleed even more and she held the nearby cloth tighter to the bruised part of her face. “mhmmmhmhm” she mumbled grumpily

“Hm” Bruce grunted again

“Aren’t you gonna say something?” Dick turned towards his father in a bit of shock. Normally Bruce would be the one to punish them  both for disobeying the rules of the Manor but now he was just sitting on the couch, his mind wondering elsewhere.

“no.”

“What?!” four pair of surprised eyes landed on him in pure disbelief of how he acted.

“Wouldn’t make any difference. Another day another fight. Just…. apologize to each other. I’m going to the batcave. Dick, Jason come with me.”

“The hell I’m going to ….” Jason started but the look in Bruce eyes made him relent. And that was how Y/N and Damian ended up alone in the living room, sitting next to each other, eyes on the floor.

“Does it hurt much?” he asked

“Not much more than yesterday. I’ll be fine. “ she shrugged like nothing happened  “Do you think they know?”

“About what? Our secret plan to make them all crazy and take over the manor?”

“Pretty much, yes.”

“Not sure. Might need some more observation on the matter.”

“So….. we do it again tomorrow?” she smirked

“Oh, absolutely” he smiled back at her, eyes sparkling. It was always fun to fight with her.

“Then can I have my phone back?”

“Sure, I’ve seen all there was to see. “

“I hate you, Damian.” Y/N grinned looking at him

“I hate you too, sis.” He replied with a smirk

And just like that, they bumped their fists. All was good between them.

****

Meanwhile, Tim was hidden in the batcave, glued to the computer, not realizing anything of the events happening upstairs. He only raised his head once he heard Bruce, Dick and Jason entering.

“Did they do it again?” he asked seeing Bruce’s harrowed face, being enough of an answer “Ha! Life never gets boring with those two troublemakers around!”

#damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x batsis #damian wayne x you #batfamily x batsis #batboys x batsis

[simpinformonkies]

Can I request a Redson x Calm!S/O reader, who's his partner in crime and a powerful earthbender (cause they keep him grounded) please and thanks.

Sorry this made me laugh so hard when I first saw this ask, the joke broke my sense of humor im so sorry. Anyway, here ya go!~

~~~

RED SON

-The first time he met you all those years ago, he thought you were just some weakling human that decided to piss him off, but you just raised a brow at his behavior and slammed your heel on the dirt, slamming a pillar of stone and dirt into his gut and sending the Demon Bull Prince flying off.

-Oh, he was furious at the audacity.

-But just as much, Red Son was interested; humans don't just control an element as well as you do. It was like the earth itself was your sandbox that you did whatever you wanted with; be that helping people, growing plants, or destroying his Bull Clones.

-After a while though, people just kept demanding things of you, and you just... kind of got tired of it. So what'd you do?

-Why, go to Red Son and ask for a partnership of course!

-Why? You have no idea; you just hated being demanded things of by people that don't even respect you.

-Red Son at least respected your power, even if he also hated you.

-Baby steps people, baby steps.

-So you commit crimes with Red Son, being like that silent soldier in the background that the heroes never notice until its too late and you're already attacking them. You always had Red Son's back, and stopped the worst of his injuries from happening.

-Especially from MK. Sweet kid, but a little much sometimes.

-Ya know that meme of 'the demon lord having a sweet tiny spouse, but the spouse being scarier'? Yeah, you're much scarier than Red Son is, because while he's always angry and yelling, you're sweet and kind that can flip on a dime if the right buttons are pressed.

-Anyway, you're Red Son's "rock" essentially, being there for him through thick and thin. This means you're very close to him and following him every day (or, alternatively, he's always following you, even around the council but acting like he's the one guiding you. His mother thinks its adorable.)

-After confessing to each other (in which Red Son acted like a total tsundere the entire time, let's be honest), you constantly do little stuff with your earthbending to show how much you love that. Whether that be making statue of a heart on 'fire', or doing little stuff to make him happy or his workload easier.

-Housespouse™

-Red Son often gives you gifts that mainly consist of gems (as a homage to your element of earth) and always does romantic things with you while attempting to act nonchalant or cool.

-Keyword being attempting.

~~~ BONUS:

-Your 'scary' side came out when Azure and his goons attacked the Demon Bull Family, attempting to seal away the others. You send shards of earth flying at Peng, aiming for his wings (and hitting them in quick succession) before earthbending binds and pillars at Azure in hopes of defeating him.

-Unfortunately, you forgot Yellow Tusk exists, and he bound you with magic, and then you were sealed in the scroll of memory.

-(And if that happened to make Red Son so angry that his flames sparked a brilliant blue, then only he and the brotherhood would know such secrets.)

~~~

Hope you enjoyed this!~

#lmk x reader #lmk x y/n #nilo dabbles #writing prompt #writing requests #red son x reader #Nilo art

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

Both Aegon and Aemond had to deal with a lot of negative feelings and trauma since their childhood years.

They suffered the neglect and indifference of their father combined with his clear favoritism towards Rhaenyra; on top of that Aegon was being crushed by the enormous weight of being the firstborn son and, as far as his mother and grandfather were concerned, an heir to the throne (the title that would be contested and that he would have to defend), and Aemond, already a second born, had to learn to live with partial disability that should have drastically decreased his chances to gain power and true respect (for physiological and psychological reasons alike).

Aegon, at least since his early teens, was drowning his pain and inner turmoil in alcohol (as well as in promiscuous sex). He desperately sought to silence the voice of his hurting soul with the cacophony of pleasures of the flesh.

And, as it is illustrated in this post by @very-straight-blog, it`s really been going on for years. But where teenage Aegon`s face was contorted with some kind of disgust (either at the taste of wine or at the feelings he tried to quench - probably both), older Aegon gulps cup after cup without flinching. He needs more and more women, alcohol, probably even drugs to make his pain go away, even for a time - but it always comes back in the end. And yet that doesn`t stop Aegon from going down the path of self-destruction.

Just before the last supper with Viserys starts, Aegon has a conversation with his brother where he counters Aemond`s accusations of 'drinking more than a Braavosi sealord' with "I drink just the right amount". Just the right amount for his hurt to let him breathe, to just forget.

During this exchange Aegon also points out that Aemond 'does not drink enough'. It is not phrased as a question but in a way it is one: why do you not step away from all this? Why do you insist on keeping dealing with it? Does it not hurt? I know it does. Why do you not try to numb the pain?

The thing is, Aemond deals with his suffering in a different manner. He doesn`t want to forget. He doesn`t try to make the pain go away. Instead he embraces it and fights through it, with precision and relentlessness he can`t allow himself to let go of - otherwise the pain will become meaningless.

Aemond found his solace in constantly proving - to himself and everyone else - that he is worthy: fierce, brave, knowledgeable. Unbeatable. He was being looked down upon for quite some time, but it won`t happen again. He was hurt and humiliated, but it won`t happen again. Aemond`s life has become a never-ending battle fought with weapons of his choice. Even the cup of wine feels like a sword being drawn.

He will always remember the pain - to never let it get close again.

@dr-aegon that`s what I was talking about the other day😉

#house of the dragon #hotd #aegon ii targaryen #aemond targaryen #targtower bros #hotd thoughts

[lazycats-stuff]

I'd like to see how batfam deal with babybat (not necessarily baby like 4 or 5) that's obsessed with video games? Like first thing he does in the morning is turn on his playstation before he even has breakfast or anything, maybe Bruce takes him out to get some outside time but instead he's just pointing out how some things look like this certain game he played etc, and basically the only way his brothers can interact with him is if they asked to play with him

Alrighty. (Y/N) needs to touch grass also.

Summary: (Y/N) is obsessed with video games. That is not really a good thing.

Warnings: (Y/N) is a gaming kid, obsession with video games, possible addiction?, author doesn't know, Bruce trying to fix that obsession.

Bruce kind of regretted buying his youngest son PlayStation. He thought that it would be something that everyone could enjoy. Bruce however, prohibited Fortnite. Not happening. That was the only game that wasn't going be in the manor.

They had some multiplayer games, some solo games in different genres that everyone could enjoy. But (Y/N) got obsessed with video games. Bruce thought that it was something normal, kids are usually obsessed with them.

But (Y/N)?

This was not good. It was very bad in fact. Bruce was lowkey horrified at how (Y/N) couldn't start his day without starting the PlayStation. Bruce was worried about it. His solution?

Take down the screen time and make him read more. Also, he would have to restrict the time on the PlayStation in order to achieve this. It wasn't going to be easy, but getting him go out. He talked to the rest of the members of the family and they have agreed to help him.

Bruce was going to get ready for a long process. He researched and looked for the ways how to help his son and he was now officially ready. The others were ready too.

It started easily enough. Bruce had set firm boundaries with the play time. There were set hours and (Y/N) was nowhere near happy. But he couldn't do anything.

Also, Bruce said that he would have to read for an hour and go outside for an hour. Alfred would make sure of it. And if there was one person that (Y/N) didn't mess with, that was Alfred. He was tough and strict when he needed to be and (Y/N) knew he stood no chance with Alfred.

And that's why (Y/N) was outside with Jason, who tried to get him to do some sort of physical activity.

" Look Jay. " (Y/N) said, pointing at something at the tree line. Jason frowned.

" It reminds me of a game. "

Jason didn't know what to say to that. His little brother had an obsession and Jason was shocked. Tim is an angel compared to (Y/N). An angel.

" Nice. " Jason mumbled, kind of worried. " How about we look for Titus? " Jason said, running. (Y/N) huffed, but ran with Jason. Jason saw the Great Dane and the Great Dane saw him too. Titus immediately started running past Jason, running towards (Y/N), circling him while the little boy laughed.

Jason stopped, watching as the two ran. He looked at the Garden where Damian was.

" He is going to be running for hours. " Damian said, bringing his teacup to his lips.

" Yup. " Jason said, chuckling.

And Damian was right. (Y/N) ran for hours and was so exhausted that he could barely keep his head up. During dinner his head was dropping and Alfred had to keep his head up in order for Bruce too feed him.

They couldn't let him go to bed without diner. The others were cracking up at the sight.

" I think that the detox is going well. " Alfred said, an amused smile on his face. Bruce nodded, putting the spoon to (Y/N)'s mouth. (Y/N) opened his mouth and chewed.

" It is. Titus is going to be happy with how much more playtime he is going to get. " Damian chimed in and the said dog walked into the dining room. He nudged (Y/N)'s little hand and (Y/N) seemed more awake.

For a second.

" I think he ate enough. " Bruce said, picking his son up. He put him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and started carrying him to bed.

Maybe he will finally get enough sleep tonight.

#dc comics #dc x male reader #x male reader #batfamily #bruce wayne x male reader #jason todd x male reader #batkids #damian wayne x male reader

[killshotbabe]

Title | Acquainted

Pairing | billionaire!Jaehyun x bodyguard!reader ft. NCT

Warnings | minors dni! slightly rude!Jaehyun, Jaehyun and reader “don’t get along”, use of swear words, brief mention of a bad injury (not to main pairing) sexual tension, solo masturbation, voyeur tendencies, fingering, face riding, choking, smut, slightly rough, unprotected sex (please wear protection!) creampie, slight breeding kink?

Word count | 4k (Got carried away oops!)

Song(s) | My All - Larissa Lambert (cover), Hopeless - Always Never

A.N | This was so goddamn long than originally planned but enjoy!

//

“Maybe you should leave.”

He suggested, cutting you off mid-sentence as you were explaining why it would better for him to take another route you’ve spent some time going over with the private personnel.

It had gone through the approval of your chief in charge as well having to have earned his full trust in the past but what you didn’t expect was for Jaehyun, your current boss in flesh, to reject your entrance and exit plans for the upcoming 50th charity ball he’s going to be attending in a few in two weeks.

The charity ball that was supposed to be tended by his father but after suffering what happens to be his third stroke, he made an ultimate decision to pass his head of position down to his only son, Jaehyun, who’s going to eventually earn it anyway by the time his father succumbs into old age and eventually die and be buried six feet under but due to his worsening health, Jaehyun officially took over.

Not one blinked an eye after such huge announcement has been made.

Some would say it’s a bit “pre-mature” you think, but it was the only right thing to do.

After all, no one wanted the Jung Empire to crumble into its last feet and from what you heard, Jaehyun is quite popular despite being the youngest from the line-up of old, obnoxious balding men.

It wasn’t like as if he preferred to live a different life — he had the option to do so, but he’s always wanted to follow his father’s footsteps since the very young age. He went from eavesdropping to his father’s meetings behind the door, and sometimes he would bring his toy cars into his father’s study and sit on the plush carpet as his father spoke to the phone, ball point always on-hand, glass of wine to the side. Jaehyun did this for as long as he can remember until they began to fit him into custom tailored suits to wear when he goes to his father’s meetings with him or without him which he had been tending to for the past few months, so this was not something new to him.

The new thing, though, was you being appointed his new private bodyguard due to the increasing tension coming from the outsiders who are threatened by Jaehyun’s sudden take-over. From what you do know, they have been keeping an eye on his father since the news of his illness (which the private sector has tried to keep in the shadows) leaked to the press, spiking gossips and rumours from nobodies. This also caused a major rift, threatening the future of the company Mr. Jung has been taking a great care of for decades, and even if he may be the nicest person in the world of business — he’s more prone to having enemies waiting for him to fall apart and now that Jaehyun has begun his long journey as the new head of The Jung enterprise, a new target has now been placed on the back of his head.

All was left is for him to try and dodge the bullet with your help, of course.

But that wasn’t going to happen easily — not when he’s not been a good sport to you.

At first, you thought he was just getting used to being the new chairman so you decided to back off and let him take a breather, but soon you find out he does have a rather mean streak and preferred to be alone and do everything alone. He doesn’t really speak to anyone at home too. You would see him chat with the head maid from time to time and maybe greet the security and other staff guarding his home but that was about it, he had no close relationship with them even if they worked with him and Mr. Jung for a while, which you find quite sad, but it was still none of your business.

You’ve only been here for around two weeks and you do reside in his home as well, but it did feel like you lived else where.

His luxurious house — composed of a total of four levels, shiny marbled floors and expensive hand-picked art adoring the wide plains of the black tourmaline walls felt rather strange to you. It was often quiet whenever you walked into the hallway at the dead of the night with the occasional swoosh from the french windows gracing your sharp hearing. You’ve only spent an ample of time doing security checks around his home but you haven’t been to any specific rooms even if you do memorize the entire floor plan and know which room is which, including the hidden underground bunker built into the house which you hope you wouldn’t end up using at all if shit does hit the fan.

Other than yourself, the security and the rest of the morning staff do not reside in his home but in a separate complex nearby so technically, it was just you and Jaehyun confined in such a huge space.

Mr. Jung lived somewhere else which you have been once or twice but compared to your first impression to both, you’d rather stay at Mr. Jung’s just because it felt like someone was actually living there and you don’t really mind the smell of tobacco. Here, at Jaehyun’s however, didn’t feel like that at all. You wouldn’t even know if he’s at home if the cctv didn’t notify you of his arrival (and your phone too because you can actually track his whereabouts) or until you see a faint light from his study or anywhere else really.

Jaehyun didn’t like keeping bright lights on so his house appeared to be more eerie and colder when the sun is no longer in the horizon. You got used to it rather quickly though. It was peaceful, maybe too peaceful for your taste but it’s better than sleeping at your old apartment where the next door neighbours would often fight, their harsh words penetrating your thin walls, and plus, the head chef and maid cooks great food. You couldn’t complain about that when you have been given the chance to not worry about any groceries anymore to keep you alive and kicking.

You like to think you’ve hit a jackpot since accepting this newly-appointed job: to be Jaehyun’s second eyes and iron shield and you thought it was simple but things were never simple.

Life didn’t work like that but at the very least, you’re alive and breathing.

At least I’m alive and breathing.

You chanted like a mantra as you forced a lump in your throat, still holding your ground in front of Jaehyun who made no effort to even took at you in the eye.

“Jaehyun.”

You try again, stressing that he needs to approve your plan before you can fuck off the premises which you’ve been wanting do the moment you stepped a heeled foot into his spacious study. If it wasn’t for the low murmur of jazz playing softly from the turntable close to his mahogany desk, you would’ve yelled at him by now but you chose not to.

You pride yourself as his main bodyguard and you didn’t want him to treat you like some doormat.

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” He flipped through a couple of pages from a stack of papers he’s been reviewing for God knows how long and there was more, but he kept it tidy and very organized, and yet you can’t help but feel his mind may not be the same right at this moment. “I said no.”

“You could end up in a bad situation. Had you not realize your enemies are trying to threaten you lately?” You say, tone coming off stern than how you’d like it to be. “Have you not been noticing the extra security we’ve been adding for you this past week?”

He paused, sighing and you think you may have won a little but if anything, you just pissed him off even more.

“Just do whatever the fuck you want, alright? Your job is to protect me so take it upon yourself and move. No need to run it by me.”

You fought not to grit your teeth, composure still straight. “Well, you could’ve just said yes to begin with. Easy as that and I would be out the door.”

“Your plan has too many unnecessary changes.” He began to type on the keyboard, still not sparing you a glance. “I don’t like it but whatever makes you sleep at night.”

“I’m doing this for you.” You reminded, ready to turn your back to him and out. “A simple “yes” would’ve been easy and I follow a protocol which involves me to ask you for an approval first. Like it or not, this is in my contract and you, out of everyone else here, should know. Have good evening, Sir.”

You found yourself out of his study just like that and made your way to your room wanting to take a cold shower after your useless exchange with Jaehyun.

When you were gone, all he did was lean his head over his leather seat, eyes fluttering close with an exasperated sigh leaving his lips.

For the next week ahead of the charity ball event he’s sponsoring as one of the main ambassadors, you stuck by him always walking three steps ahead to clear the area before it’s deemed safe for him to move. You and your team stayed alert and hot on heels, especially when there have been a surge of crowds garnering for him and it did nothing but bring stress to you and your team. Not only had the threats against him and his family empire had gone worse, but his own “fangirls” as well.

You thought it was over once you and Jaehyun make it back home until you found two young girls that couldn’t be younger than eighteen taking pictures of the car he has used on the way back from a meeting.

The meeting was short and it was his only schedule this afternoon so you didn’t tag along but still dispatched two personnel from your team to be with him so you can finish your annual report your chief wants you to complete before the end of this week. It was by chance actually — you typing away with the security panel on your other screen when a lone taxi drove by the gates two times. Anything more than that was deemed suspicious you had to watch carefully and soon enough, you found yourself outside with girls’ camera on your hand which you had confiscated.

You recognized one of them as one of the socialite’s daughter which you do consider as a major threat — The Chois were just as powerful but they haven’t been on their A-game lately especially when they’re competing with Jaehyun.

You drummed your hand on top of the taxi’s roof, peering closer to the girls who are now blinking owlishly at you. One of them looking like they’re about to pee their pants after seeing your gun holstered to your belt loop.

“Are you girls here to see Jaehyun? He doesn’t give autographs.” You joked, other hand sifting through the gallery of their DSLR. “Do you guys work for some damn magazine I don’t know about?”

“No—um we,” The bleached blonde one stuttered as you deleted all of the shots they got of Jaehyun’s. “We’re fans of his…”

“Well, what do you know about him?” You raised a brow, satisfied with your neat work but refused to give it back to them yet. “Last time I checked he’s just some really powerful billionaire dude… Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

The brunette smacked the blonde’s one knee, attempting to stop her from responding to you and further reveal why they’re here to begin with. She did know who you are and you being a total cutthroat by your poise and how you held yourself whenever you’re with Jaehyun and she was scared of you, truly.

“We… won’t be back here anymore. I’m sorry.” She begged, round eyes trying to make you feel pity even if you already know the way she behaved whenever she’s there on sight when she’s not supposed to. “Please give the camera back to us…”

But you didn’t make it easy. If it’s not for their family then it’s possible that they’re working with whatever media outlet is after Jaehyun too.

Nonetheless, you decide to give the camera back considering it wasn’t chipped or anything which you checked before you cleared all of Jaehyun’s pictures.

“If I see you two out here again, you better stop what you’re doing and if you’re working for someone, put an end to it.” You tossed them the camera with a glare. “I’ll let you go this time but I won’t next time, then you’ll wish you never met me at all.”

The girls nodded quickly, blood draining off their faces as they begged for the taxi driver to floor it. You wait until they’re out of sight before heading back, meeting Jungwoo, one of the security personnel, on your way in to the foyer.

“Just some girls.” You shrug. You do make a note to do some more research about them later though. “Is he upstairs?”

“Yeah. He said he was going to sleep so I’m leaving now and rot out there. Don’t tell him I stole an orange from the kitchen.”

He grinned, showing you the round fruit in his palm.

Jungwoo was a new addition too, but you do think he built a better relationship with Jaehyun considering the fact that you caught them joking around at one point and you think that wasn’t fair.

You couldn’t blame Jungwoo though. He’s super chill and smiled a lot unlike you with your permanent scowl embedded in your face. It did bother you from time to time, but your relationship with Jaehyun has gone to shit since the beginning (for a reason you don’t know) and you think it’s because he just doesn’t like having a tail following him around even if the nature of his work required one.

To this day, you have already accepted your fate when it came to him. You were here not become his friend after all, and you can tell he sure he feels the same way.

Work was work and you had a contract to fulfil until then. You weren’t here for the sake of having your feelings involved.

“Bold of you to assume he’d notice.” You smiled, sending him away. “Just help yourself whenever!”

“K! Have a good rest of the afternoon! Mark also says he’ll be late for security check!”

“Got it!”

Once you heard the front doors shut, you climb back upstairs and back to you room to resume where you left off. By 7:30 pm, you find yourself waking up from an accidental nap you took in the middle of conducting your report. You cursed and planned to do your finishing touches but not without a cup of newly-brewed coffee on your side so you find yourself in the main kitchen, helping yourself up when the head maid padded down the hall, calling your name upon seeing you.

“Have you eaten yet?” She halted just beside you as you stirred a spoon into your coffee. “You can’t be drinking that without eating anything? I made mushroom soup for dinner. Made steak too with potatoes.”

“Maybe later I will, thanks.” You smiled sheepishly as you take a sip from your mug. “I just had a snack so…”

“You could’ve just joined Jaehyun earlier.” She whispered, teasing you with a pinch on your elbow which caused you break into a sudden yelp. “He looked really tense…Almost felt bad for the steak.”

You shook your head, placing your cup on the counter, folding your arms to mimic the head maid.

“Isn’t he always?”

“True, but he just looks lonely being alone there I keep wondering why you two won’t just eat together.”

You could only shrug, the visual of him sitting alone eating dinner in a huge table wracking your brain.

“We don’t get along.”

“Oh c’mon…” The older lady rolled her eyes at your predicament. “I’m getting real sick of watching the two of you avoiding each other like the black plague unless you’re out to chaperone him. We thought you’d would work especially when you’re around his age, and I know he can be a pain in the ass but why not try with him? This house is too damn big already.”

“You know I’m just here for work…” You murmur, letting her words affect you a little anyway because she was the only one who could sense how you really felt no matter how many times you voluntarily plunged yourself in denial.

You remember the first time they introduced you to him just a couple of weeks go.

It was on sunny day and the start of fall. You always liked fall because there’s always a positive shift in the air even if it slowly got colder. You like to think of it as letting go of the dead things you can no longer care, or hold closely to your heart that you’ve wanted to get rid of as your life went by.

From your old position to becoming Jaehyun’s bodyguard did raise a lot of new opportunities and new surroundings as it required you to move to his place. You were giddy and quite excited, wanting to leave you former apartment situated in busy area from not-so-good side of the city. The raise was also splendid— you think if you keep this position for one year you’d be able to buy a better apartment elsewhere and have a whole space for yourself and you know you will eventually get there.

But what you didn’t really expect was how rude Jaehyun had treated you since the beginning.

When you were introduced to him by your chief, all he did was nod and went on his day with you tailing after him as you shadowed his old bodyguard days before they were to be dispatched overseas permanently. It was nice when the bodyguard was there until you woke up in his shoes, now calling all shots and leading the whole team which had been exhilarating at first, but you knew your capabilities and thought highly of yourself, even if Jaehyun doesn’t really acknowledge or has ever initiated a conversation when you’re alone in a room with him.

You can’t really pinpoint what his deal was — you thought he might be misogynistic but that wasn’t the case. There were women in your team and he treated any woman no different like how he treated the rest, at least from what you noticed. You didn’t want to confront him about it as well seeing that it might just sound dumb and too far-fetched but your gut have been telling you there’s more to it. You just didn’t know how to approach him about it, not when he’s too busy and has other priorities to tend to than listen to what you have to say concerning your feelings.

He doesn’t even like the plans and changes you make for him regarding his entire safety, what more about how you really feel?

But you were still a human being and you know you will be treated as such so eventually, you’ll bring it up but not today, not anytime soon at least.

“And work it is…But try to get along, okay? I may not be here all the time but I can sense the sour atmosphere whenever I clean up.”

You chuckled, leering close to her. “Maybe it’s just the dead souls buried under the house trying to get your attention…”

“Hey, don’t say stuff like young lady! You know how superstitious I can get.” She backs off you, not liking the fact that you just brought up “ghosts”. “…Maybe I’ll sage the entire house the next time you guys are away again! Don’t want Jaehyun to smell it and complain.”

“I don’t think he’ll care. He hasn’t been to anywhere else but his floor lately.” You laugh, placing your hand on the shorter woman’s shoulder. “So do it anytime. I like the smell of it.”

“Fine, I will. Just because I like you like that.” She pats your hand, thanking you for your little massage before sending you off with your coffee. “And don’t ditch dinner!”

You make sure to eat around midnight, completely lost in you report.

You ate more than you could possibly take in one sitting but didn’t care if it was going to give you a stomach ache which you had attempted to sleep off, but around 3 am, you find yourself unable to go back to bed so naturally, you sat upright and leaned against your headboard, laptop on-hand and see if you maybe watch one of those scary indie games on youtube.

You found them weirdly comforting and often watched them but before you could put one on and have it lull you back to bed, the live footage of Jaehyun’s dim-lit room suddenly flashed into your screen in full-size.

You can’t help but panic a little since you were not supposed to watch him at such ungodly hour. You were given this specific access from hours 6-9 pm. That was the arrangement, but it didn’t mean your master access would disable the live feed during after hours. You have full control of it so it was all up to you, and it’s not like someone is actually keeping track of how many times you’d watch him, not when his room is only for your eyes and nobody else’s.

You were just about to hover your mouse to the top right corner of your screen and exit out of the window when he stirred in his sleep, calling your attention. Not even a couple of seconds later he, too, sat up and leaned against the headboard, mimicking your current position.

You raised a brow, feeling a little intimate with the current situation — he’s literally sitting there with his eyes closed and he had no shirt on, showing you what was hiding beneath his usual suit jacket.

You blinked, rubbing the sleep from your eyes before you found yourself peering closer, unable to take your eyes off him and his bare skin riddled with great abs. You knew he did work-out but still…

“What the fuck am I doing…” You shook your head in utter disbelief, feeling like a total creep now. “I should probably go to sleep.”

You smack yourself on the cheek and tried to exit out of the window when your peripheral vision caught him slide his hand under his blanket, palming himself with closed eyes, a serene look on his face.

You suddenly forgot how to breathe.

Your pupils practically quivered when he parted his pretty lips just slightly so he could spit on his hand before rubbing his bare cock with it again and again for you to see, instantly making you snap your thighs together as you became more hyperaware of what he was doing in front of you. You tried so hard to look away from the screen, shut your laptop close and forget this ever happened but you simply couldn’t look away — not when he just pulled the comforter down to his knees, revealing his hard cock — standing upright, hypnotizing you to come closer and see which you did, jaw going slack upon realizing he was, in fact, big too.

You watched him give himself a few generous pumps before he laid back down, a half-grin on his face as he continued to fuck himself in his fist. You like to think he’d made a sound from what you’re seeing and it only did nothing but make you wet, your arousal already soiling your underwear as you forced yourself not to do anything about it at all. You think you should feel any ounce of guilt right now, having to watch a very private moment, but your head had gone to mush and you just couldn’t bring your hand to exit out of the feed.

He was too beautiful, fucking himself into his fist like that with a lazy smile gracing his face — the type of smile you’ve never seen him do in person.

Oh, you wished you’d be the one making him feel good like that..

As he rutted himself into his fist, on the way to reach his peak, you found yourself snaking your hand between your legs now spreading it wide in front of the feed. You swore at how incredibly sensitive and soaked you’ve become as you moved your thong to the side, biting your lip when you smeared your wetness all over your aching pussy before eventually sliding two fingers in, your eyes blown with nothing but pure desire as you watched Jaehyun attentively, slowly pumping your fingers inside you in the same rhythm he was going.

When he eventually did come, rewarding you with spurts of his cum landing on his toned abs, you did too, with your hand clamping around your mouth to prevent yourself from moaning too loud.

He went back to bed like that, his expression so peaceful as you tried to catch your breath, your own wetness slipping out of your cunt and on to your bedsheet between your trembling legs.

You didn’t sleep that night.

The morning hours before the commencement of the charity ball, you begrudgingly delivered Jaehyun’s three piece navy suit to his study thinking he wasn’t inside but at the rooftop pool.

Much to your horror, however, he was in fact inside his study and he was shirtless with just some grey sweats hanging low to his hips, jet black hair combed backwards and still damp from the shower he just took. You almost dropped the neatly-wrapped black box onto the floor when he advanced to your side to retrieve his phone from his desk. You cleared your throat, backing off. “It’s from Prada.”

“Yeah, and you were supposed to pick them up, right?”

You stopped on your heel, halfway his wing already. You didn’t think he’d catch on to be honest. You knew you were supposed to pick it up for him but because you didn’t get any sleep, you ended up sleeping in for a couple more hours until Mark, one of the night personnel, knocked on your door to pass you his daily report after he couldn’t find you somewhere in the ground floor.

“I’m sorry. I just missed my alarm.”

You lied, hoping he would just let it go. You didn’t even think he’d care about it at all. It’s not like you overslept the entire day and completely forgot about your tasks today.

You thought about him last night again, a flush of warmth creeping on your cheeks but you fought to push those sinful thoughts away.

“Well, don’t be late next time then?” He turned his back to you so he can open the box and examine what’s inside.

You scoffed, trying to look away from his nicely-sculpted back muscles and proceeded to be on your way out when he suddenly called your name for the first time since the first day you’ve been appointed to be his bodyguard.

It caught you off-guard for a second there but you refused to provide him with any type of reaction when you spun around and met his eyes.

He has an unreadable expression on his face — something you couldn’t quite read but it did nothing but make your heartbeats pump faster than normal.

He leaned his hips to his desk, lean and muscular arms perched behind him to the flat surface.

“You have a good eye, do you?”

You raised a brow, trying so hard not to cast your gaze from his neck and down south, his grey sweats mocking you. It was the same one he wore last night.

“… Maybe?” You trailed off, not that confident like he presumed you to be with your chin high, eyes almost as dark as the evening sky and your signature red lipstick painted perfectly on your lips.

You somehow didn’t have that on today like the usual and your long black hair, always pinned and tied, just flowing smoothly on your back.

He sensed there was something off, but he liked the look you sported today. It made you look younger and innocent-looking.

He wasn’t going to lie, it did tickle his fancy.

“Then come by later and help me choose what looks good.”

You feel his wondering eyes scrutinize you for the first time, and you couldn’t help but stay still, not breathing at all until he turned around and disappeared into a corner of his study, leaving you stranded in the middle of it all.

For how many times you wished he’d learn to acknowledge you, you now sincerely hoped he never did because with the way he was looking at you just now, you couldn’t help but feel there is something else in those dark brown eyes.

Whatever it was, you think you wouldn’t be ready for it.

//

“We’re taking my route.”

You announce as you got on the passenger side with Jungwoo behind the wheel.

You’re on your way to the charity ball right now with Jaehyun on his phone, conversation seemingly boring but you still listened, taking notes.

He’s put on a patterned suit jacket instead of the navy one Prada brought for him and he looked too gorgeous in it like he always did but today, you think this might be your favourite look of his so far — jet black hair pushed back with a strand falling on his forehead, his neck adorned with a dainty silver necklace accentuating his regality… You were quite bummed you didn’t end up choosing anything for him due to an emergency meeting he had to be a part of when he was getting ready too so you chose to take your time getting ready instead, picking a total of three outfits you’ve laid to your bed before eventually gunning for the satin number in ivory.

You like to think you didn’t do so bad yourself too. If not, this has been the most dressed you’ve been for this type of occasion. You think you could get used to this at some point but it was still a little overwhelming for you.

You didn’t like being a part crowds reeking of nothing but money and gin, and chatting with any socialites at all even if you had to just because you’re Jaehyun’s bodyguard. You wished you had Jungwoo’s or Johnny’s post, only situated up the corridors hiding from plain sight to watch for any suspicious and unusual activity. You had to be more alert for it, but at least they stayed in the shadows unlike what you’re going to be doing once you and Jaehyun arrive to the ball.

“Don’t keep a long distance but stray closer to him, alright?” Your chief instructed at least two days before the event. “Just received a note from the sector and said someone from there might try to harm him, so be on the look out. I’m sending more back up in case.”

Saying you’re not that nervous might be an understatement.

You practically shivered on your way out of the car, cursing at the lack of clothing you wore for the event. You did have an option to wear slacks, but you wanted to wear a dress this time around since slacks was your regular uniform, and you wanted to look like you’d blend into this type of crowd as well, not wanting to stand out like a sore thumb (which you already do) but least you could do is pretend.

Pretend that you’re a socialite for once and what chief said, “Act like his equally rich girlfriend.”

“I’m off. Rendezvous in…three hours?” Jungwoo hummed as Jaehyun took off, leaving you with Jungwoo by the staircase. You scoffed. “And…he’s off. Ugh, tell him not stay here for more than three or i’ll eat my fucking fist.”

“Make it two and a half. I hate shit like this.” You sighed, waving him off. “See ya. Don’t fall asleep.”

“Ay-ay Captain!”

Midway into the charity event, you started to yawn as you watched Jaehyun having a pleasant conversation with a group of older men, some of them without an arm candy or if they did have one, they were from the overseas — all tanned and blonde with a variety of luxurious brands all over their outfit.

You thought they were rather tacky so you looked away, reaching for another flute of champagne to get rid of the nasty taste of some fancy snack you tried earlier. Something about an “escargot,” which caused Jungwoo to cackle devilishly from your earbud before translating what you just ate.

You felt like gagging, hating the thought of snails being digested in you right now but since you couldn’t leave Jaehyun alone as he continued his rounds to mingle with every damn guest in the room, you had no choice but to suck it up and hope the champagne can help get rid of the taste.

You could only stand there, watching everyone like a hawk before your gaze eventually fell on Jaehyun who was casually smiling to a girl dressed in dainty blue chiffon, accentuating her slim build.

She was cute, couldn’t be younger than him and she’s patting him on the chest now, getting a little brave with her manicured hands.

“Butter knife just arrived.”

You cupped the earbud plugged in your ear, still keeping an eye on Jaehyun.

“He’s here? Jungwoo, is he alone?”

“No… wait— Johnny says there’s one more coming from south. White van — fuck, it’s Sanchez!” There was a harsh whisper on the other side. “You have to get Jaehyun out of there.”

“He’s fucking surrounded with girls, I just— continue reporting to me I’m getting him out now.”

You suppress the panic surging through your veins as you slowly approach Jaehyun now being flocked around by female socialites right in the middle of the ballroom.

“I don’t think anyone is suspicious in the ball right now — Yuta said but just, yeah get him out. Chief found Sanchez being a part of the Amos cartel. He’s a fucking traitor.”

“Yeah, I know. They’ve been on the radar for days. They’re invited aren’t they?”

You stop by your tracks before you proceed, finding a small gap between several bodies you can snake through and hopefully get Jaehyun out of there soon.

“Yeah. They’re under that old bastard, Brekker, so leave. Jaehyun did his talk part anyway.” Jungwoo snapped. “Mark is waiting right in front of your exit, right behind Centennial. Go.”

And so you did, now latching a hand around Jaehyun’s wrist, pulling him out of the growing crowd and into you.

“Sorry, ladies. Judgment calls!”

He waved, a little tipsy as you dragged him towards your left exit and into the hall, not letting him walk on his own without you tugging his hand.

You whipped your head around, noticing Jeno one of the back-up posted up far away from your left. You share a brief nod before you proceed to one of the shortcuts which led to a narrow dim-lit hall, dragging Jaehyun behind you, his hand now clasped around your wrist.

“Wait, wait— slow down!” He half-yelled, unable to catch on.

“No, we keep going and I’ll tell you after. Just let me do this, okay?” He was about to say something else when you called Jungwoo, using your free hand to tell him to shut it. “Jeno’s on watch. Is Chenle okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about that kid. Are you almost out? Should take you no more than two minutes.”

“Yeah,” You walked hastily as Jaehyun jogged beside you. “I got Jaehyun with me. Will be out soon.”

“Okay, okay great you’re almost there and — what? Who?” There was a murmur and a static noise interrupting you conversation which caused your brows to furrow but you kept going, the sight of one of the unused doors just a couple of steps ahead of you.

“Shit! Hey, you guys keep going. I’ll call you later.”

You blinked rapidly, free hand fixed to your earphone. “What? No — what the hell?” You grumbled but let it go as you made it out of the building with Jaehyun who’s now looking at you, noticing your worry but decided to leave it be until you found yourselves on the backseat of Mark’s car.

“Jungwoo just ditched me and I don’t know what the hell is happening inside.” You pushed Jaehyun to the side, your arm fixed to his lap as you spoke to Mark, now exiting the back alleyway and into a different route avoiding the main street. “You got any updates?”

“They’re saying one of Amos’ people got into the corridor.” Mark said, eyes focused of the road. “Chenle found him but he wasn’t alone. He should be fine though, I trust him.”

“But who’s on that floor? We made a last minute change just earlier.”

“Renjun — hey, strap yourself up though I’m about to speed so we can get off the intersection. Don’t worry about the guys.” He said rather sternly to try and get your mind off the gutter but something felt wrong and you can feel it in your gut — and you were always right.

“You have to tell me when Jungwoo’s on.”

You sigh in defeat, still quite tense when you felt Jaehyun tug your seatbelt for you, coaxing you to slide it without saying anything on which you eventually did. You were so glad he didn’t even bother interjecting but kept quiet, letting you and Mark talk and fill in the creeping silence.

You muttered a “thanks” to Jaehyun but made sure to stay alert until Mark gets any updates or maybe yourself, but for some reason you had a feeling it wasn’t going to come to you.

//

“There has been a break-in the corridor. Surveillance team are okay, and Chenle’s in the ER. Cops are on site. Had to get everyone out of there but no one sustained any bad injuries. Chief’s on duty and says you did a good job. They will control the press when this gets out.”

Mark closed the door behind him, eyes on his phone. You swore under your breath and started to pace around of the hotel room you had booked in advanced when something like this takes place.

You thought of Chenle and clenched your jaw, glaring at Mark.

“It’s not your fault. He just miscalculated. Assailant went for his leg.”

“With a knife?” You exhaled and sat back down, Jaehyun just on the other bed, gaze falling on you and a slightly nervous Mark who couldn’t help but loosen his tie. “Please tell me it was a damn knife and it wasn’t deep.”

“Yeah, a little deep but he’ll live. Hey.” Mark squatted now as he levelled with your gaze with his. “I promise I’ll update you but I’ve gotta meet up with Jungwoo and Johnny and check surveillance around the compound, alright?”

“Yeah… Go, I’m sorry but please, please update me about Chenle, okay?”

“Will do. I know he’s your fave just because he’s the youngest. He’ll be okay. Yeah? Mark smiled, tapping your knee attempting to sooth you. “If he finds out you were so worried about him it might get to his head so simmer it down and try to get rest.”

“Okay…”

You watched Mark leave into the hallway as the door automatically closed, trapping you and Jaehyun in a hushed silence.

It didn’t fully sink in that you were alone with him in one room until he voluntarily broke the silence, tiredness in his deep voice so evident.

“Who was it this time?”

You slowly twisted your torso to face him.

“Brekker.”

“I trust that he’ll soon find himself behind the bars by you, right?”

His eyes remained closed as you slowly found yourself tracing the outline of his black slacks and all the way to his patterned suit jacket, and finally, his peaceful riddled face — the exact one you saw through the live feed last night as he gave you a slice of heaven.

A scarlet hue spread on your cheeks. He looked like he just jumped out of photoshoot whilst you sat there, looking a little out of it, dress semi-wrinkled and with your lipstick drying out into the cracks, eventually making it ooze out some blood. You rubbed a finger across it, flinching from the sting.

“We’re working on it and trying our best.”

You say a little quietly as your ear perked up to his relaxed “hmm”.

You attempted to distract yourself from the sheer worry coursing through you, so you decide to get up and head to the en suite bathroom to wash the minimal make up from your face and only slipped out after a quick bath, wearing a spare night wear as you darted back into the now dim-lit room, seeing Jaehyun had already fallen asleep in the same clothes.

You could only exhale, feeling like you’ve been holding your breath for so long.

You gave him a slow glance as you occupied the other bed adjacent to his, sliding yourself further to the other side of your bed before you switched your phone on to read two new messages from Mark. Chenle was still okay, but he will have to be confined in the hospital for a few days due to a nasty blow he endured by the ribs requiring immediate treatment.

You sighed, texting him back and Jungwoo before you placed your phone back on the bedside table, leaving the yellow glow from the lamp next to you, gradually lulling you to sleep.

You woke up at 3 am, all parched so you went for a drink then back to bed. You couldn’t go back to sleep, however, which resulted in a series of rolls and turns trying to find a position you’d be comfortable sleeping at.

“Can’t sleep?”

You gasped, back fully turned from a sleepy Jaehyun lying somewhere in the darkness.

Was he awake this whole time watching and hearing you struggle?

“I think.”

You pulled your comforter over your shoulder, now awake, glazed eyes staring up the ceiling. You traced the victorian details on the ceiling above you as you hear Jaehyun move.

From your peripheral vision, you can see the outline of his arm, his long sleeve now rolled up to his forearm, making you clench your jaw.

“You’re still thinking about Chenle?”

There was a genuine concern on his tone, which surprised you, but after what happened today, you knew he couldn’t afford to make you feel like you want to shoot yourself in the head, and if he hadn’t, you’re not sure if you’d even let him sleep. You could fight him if he did try to frustrate you more but this wasn’t bad — the calm was good. It soothed you even if you felt like you were about to cry earlier because of what happened to Chenle, though you did keep in mind that this was your first.

Just as long as they’re safe…

“A bit.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “He’s the youngest… I think I’d go crazy if something happened to him.”

“But he’s okay. And that’s all that matters, right?”

“Yeah.” You swallowed a lump in your throat, your back still facing him.

You could feel him stare at you now and it did nothing but send goosebumps all over your skin.

There was a suffocating silence that seemed to last for eternity and you thought you’d be able to just force yourself back to sleep somehow until you hear Jaehyun talk again.

“You did a good job today.”

His words alone made you blink owlishly.

You thought you were going to melt right there and then and you, so badly, want to hear him say that again than deal with his usual condescending tone but you couldn’t be greedy.

“Do you hate me?”

You asked out of blue, seeing as this might be the only right time you could have a heart-to-heart with him. The both of you are stuck in one small space after all.

You didn’t need to find him and vice versa, so you went for it after a sudden bravery shot up into the surface.

But he didn’t answer.

You were about to repeat yourself again when he cut you off.

“Maybe.”

“Really?” You scoffed, tongue poking to the side of your mouth. “You never really acknowledge me, you know?”

He was quiet as you tensed up, continuing on with your little rant anyway now that you had suddenly developed the nerve to try to find out what his deal was and why he seemed to not be fond of you at all.

“Since the day we met… We don’t eat together…We live in one house and yet—“

“I don’t think you want to know.”

Upon hearing him say that, you pulled yourself up from your bed, fists falling to your side as you stared at him in the dark. You could make out his face and everything else. It didn’t even seem like he moved any muscle at all, so you allow him to bask in his short-lived peace before you stood by the foot of his bed, fury embedded in your eyes.

“Don’t you have some basic human decency?” You try not to lose it. “You treat every body else nice but when it comes to me…”

“Don’t start.” He warned, still laying down but he’s now staring back at you, his dark eyes penetrating yours in an endless battle you drew upon yourselves.

“I want to know why and you will tell me.” You declared, not taking what he said as a warning. “Right. Now. Jaehyun.”

“You really want to have this conversation right now?” He was back on his feet now, towering over you as he inched closer to you, a bite of sheer frustration and anger in his next words. “You just piss me off. I didn’t want you.”

“Did I even do anything to you for you to hate me?” You barked back, chin up high as you attempt to stand your ground but you soon found yourself backing away as he continued to advance, threatening to trap you. “I don’t get you at all! I’m the best from the recruits and I don’t care if you have little faith on me—“

“I don’t care if you’re the best.” He jammed a hand just above your head, caging you against the cold wall. “But your chief shouldn’t have given you to me.”

“Why not? God, just stop being fucking cryptic and tell me!’ You yelled, one hand pushing him off by his chest only for him to grab your hand and spin you around, your cheek meeting the wall with a small gasp knocked out from your chest as he locked your arm behind you.

“You’re a lot. Fiery and always held your chin high no matter what. Makes me want to mess you up a little.” He rested his chin on your tensed shoulder, his next words in a light whisper, and yet it had venom, poisoning your bloodstream. “Calling all the shots, bossing me around, trying to fight me while you look like this?”

You let out a wanton gasp when you feel his callused hand run up and down your inner thigh, his intoxicating, manly warm scent invading your senses.

You think you might have blacked out for a moment when his warm hand made its way to the curve of your waist, the soft material of your camisole being lifted by his fingers as he rubbed your bare skin, his darkened gaze attentive to the pleased expression you made for him.

“Jaehyun—“

“Do you understand now?” You feel his plush lips brush your nape, his hand snaking all the way up your skin. “I thought I could get rid of you without having to do anything, thinking one day you’ll just walk out and leave but you stayed. Then I catch you touching yourself in your room a couple of times because you couldn’t be bothered to shut the fucking door close. You know I’m home.”

You feel your pussy throb as he proceeded to grope your bare breasts, fingers playing with your hardened nipples. “You keep doing it so many times I was starting to think you’re fucking crazy.”

You genuinely thought he wouldn’t be able to find out knowing he doesn’t lurk in your floor — but now you know he does and maybe, there was always this sick fantasy you kept to yourself, thinking that one day he’d catch on and have it all figured out. It was only a matter of time until he can pin you to the wall like now, and have him ruin you when he hates you so much, might as well use that to intensify the obvious sexual tension between the two of you with no romantic feelings involved.

Or…was there?

“I think you want to pursue this for me to fuck you like I hate you, yeah?” He chided, a low chuckle gracing your ear. “Answer.”

“I—“

“What happened to being confident?” You let out a small whine as he palmed your clothed cunt. “If I find you wet, you lose sweetheart.”

He didn’t even let you speak as he slipped his fingers into your underwear, rubbing your clit in circles. You can feel the sudden rush of wetness ooze out of your pussy, soaking the fabric and you couldn’t help but groan, your face heating up.

“Jaehyun… Please…”

You moaned, struggling with the way he has pushed you further down, back arched for him as he continued to play with your pussy, the hard ridge of his cock in his slacks grinding on your ass.

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes…” You huffed, any ounce of anger being replaced by pure arousal surging through every part of your body. You don’t even think you could say anything as you attempt to tighten your legs around his hand, not wanting to come right there and then when he hasn’t even plunged a finger or two but he didn’t waste time, cutting you off as he eventually pumped a finger into your pulsating cunt, earning a matching groan of relief from the both of you.

“You’re so fucking wet.” He grinned deviously as you cried onto your arm, muffling the loud moans trying to escape from your throat. “Bet you can come without me fucking my cock into you.”

“F-fuck!” You screamed, eyes clamped shut when he rammed his fingers into you faster, building a steady rhythm until your legs started to shake under your weight, already about to reach your peak when he noticed, cursing at the way you would repeatedly squeeze your walls around his fingers.

“Do you wanna do me a favour?”

He kissed the side of your jaw as you shuddered beneath him, mouth hanging open but no sound threatening to spill out. You thought he has successfully rendered you speechless as your gaze started to blur, teardrops sliding down your rosy cheeks from how good he was giving it to you.

“Sit on my face.”

You almost came on his fingers after he said that if it wasn’t for how fast he slid his fingers out of you to drag you to his bed.

You literally collapsed on his chest as you weakly spread your thighs a part, his strong arms helping you out as he urged you to hover on top of him before he slipped your clothes and underwear off, letting it fall on the carpet.

Once you braced your hands on the headboard, a pinch of hesitation wracking your nerves, you feel him raise his head willingly and push your bare pussy into his waiting mouth, sucking and licking your surging wetness from your pussy, feeling like you’re about to explode.

“Jaehyun— f-fuck, right there…”

You hissed, knuckles turning white on the headboard as he slipped his tongue inside your hole, fucking you with his jaw flexing, hands tight around your waist you were so sure he was going to leave a mark. You fucked his face ruthlessly, him being the most eager one who kept pushing you down and down until he his tongue jutted in and out, licking your slick walls before he lapped onto your clit, ultimately bringing you to the brink of an intense orgasm about to knock you down.

You came in his face in no time, a loud cry leaving your lips as you shuddered violently, wanting to get off his face due to over-sensitivity but he forced you to sit still, his plush mouth tasting the mess you’ve made for him, his free hand cupping his hard cock in his slacks.

You clutched your chest, unable to contain how fast your heartbeats were as you tried to calm down, sliding off him. He unbuttoned his dress shirt, eyes on you, his now moist mouth where your pussy has been, spreading into a contented smile which you lazily returned. You sat there, mouth agape as you watch him unzip his pants, palming his cock right in front of you.

“Come here.”

You crawled to him, his hand reaching out to trace your jaw, thinking he wants you to taste him but he shook his head, his dark brown eyes blown with nothing but carnal desire. He was going to give you the chance to suck him off, but he just couldn’t wait to fuck you, so he urged you to sit, hand positioning the pink head of his cock for you to sink into as you begin to tremble, getting more soaked at the sight of his cock being offered for you to use.

“I want to feel you,” He groaned into your ear as you lifted your ass and brushed your pussy on the head of his cock, letting it rub some off dripping wetness all over your pussy before you carefully sank in, whimpering just halfway in. “Good girl… You can take it.”

Once he was fully in, Jaehyun sunk lower to his pillow, bringing you with him so he could fuck you relentlessly in this position, disabling you from doing anything else but rest on his toned chest and have him fuck you hard as he pleased. You arched your back, one hand fixed to the headboard as Jaehyun thrusted into you, causing you bounce up and down of his cock, his sweet mouth latched on one of your breasts, sucking and biting your nipple ever so lightly.

“H-harder… Fuck, Jaehyun-n!”

You drove your fists to his pillow as you and him shared an intense gaze after he sucked onto your breast and let go. He bit his lip, in complete awestruck with the way you were losing it for him like a good girl. You almost cried yet again from how fierce he was looking into your eyes when he reached out to grab the base of your throat, lightly pressing to the side and choking you as he drove his cock harder and faster, simultaneously hitting your g-spot too to bring you into another mind-blowing orgasm.

“Fucking cum.” He said between gritted teeth as you tilted your head backwards, tears sliding down your face, his cock disappearing in and out of your cunt, the muffled loud noise of lewd squelching between your bodies bouncing off the walls, disrupting the quiet at such ungodly hour. “C’mon pretty girl…Fuck yourself on my cock just like that, yeah? Good, good— fuck you’re so good to me…”

You rode Jaehyun harder, panting as you met his own thrusts, nearing to the edge until you felt something snap in you.

You screamed into your open palm, free hand locked around his wrist choking you when you came for the second time, trembling around his cock, squeezing him until he pulled out, about to ask you where you’d like it when hastily slipped his cock back into your pussy once again, leaving him no choice but force him to spill inside you.

“On pill.”

You chuckled breathlessly, feeling his cum slide out of you and into the base of his cock.

You watch him arch his back with a deep groan, his hands flexing on your waist as you slowly lifted yourself off him only to leave a trail of open-mouthed kiss down his toned abs until you’re just inches away from his cock. You didn’t even let him stop you when you licked the leftover cum from the base of his cock, not wasting any drop which caused him to grab you back up, his thumb wiping some off your lips and slipping it into you mouth for you to swallow.

“You’re fucking nasty. I guess I do like you.”

“Makes the both of us, don’t you think?”

You feel him circle a hand around your waist as you laid there with him, naked, eventually joining him under the covers.

“I agree. What do you think the head maid would say if she knew?”

“That her manifestation worked…? Jaehyun you should know this things. She’s into crystals, for God’s sake.”

//

“So far, it’s all clear. We’ve enhanced the security everywhere so I think it’s okay. It’s up to Jaehyun though if he’s good with staying at one of the rotational houses within the perimeter. Of course, you’d have to move with him too but you can take one of the personnel with you. We’re gonna have to suspend his public schedules for now until they finish the investigation. “

“Great.” You sighed as you padded down the white-washed hall with Mark, getting sick and tired of the strong antiseptic scent of the hospital. “Watch out for Chenle, too. He looked like he wanted to pluck his IV drip away and fuck out of here.”

“He did want to try it many times, but will do, and hey?”

You spun around as Mark gave you a brown envelope. You tucked it into your purse as he scratched the back of his neck, lips all pursed.

“What.”

“Make sure you don’t have the earbud activated when you’re alone with uh…Jaehyun.”

You blinked, a little confused until you felt your face go in flames, swearing at Mark and then playfully whacking him on the shoulder.

“Whatever!” You rolled your eyes, starting to bolt into a different direction to catch the elevator as Mark broke into a high-pitched laughter, giddily waving you off.

“I won’t tell chief! But I think you gotta buy Jungwoo some condolence wreath!”

#jaehyun smut #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut #billionaire!jaehyunforever #kpop smut #killshotbabe #one shot smut #imsorryjungwoo

[kondensaduhhh]

inspired by @dirtytransmasc ‘s Spider Te Suli Tsyeyk’itan AU

where, since because this Spider grew up being fully adopted and loved by the Sully family, the ‘son for a son scene’ where Neytiri holds a knife to Spider doesn’t happen, what happens instead is a ‘if I can’t have him, no one can’ scene with Quaritch, where instead of Quaritch getting a hold of Kiri, it’s Spider.

Everyone is frozen.

Kiri is holding Tuk, Jake being torn between shooting Miles, but risk shooting his son too, and obeying his demands. Lo’ak and Neteyam are there, a few scrapes, cuts, and bruises on them but otherwise whole. Jake holds out his arm in front of his other two sons, knowing his mate’s burning desire to protect pumps in their veins, ready to lunge.

And Neytiri is prowling.

That demon has her son, her firstborn under his sharp knife, already cutting his delicate skin, she sees his blood smear with each struggle, causing a growl deep within her throat. Every bone in her body aches to lunge and attack the monster hurting her baby, but her mate’s arm stops her, she sees the pleading look in his eyes that yells, ‘please, think clearly’. She wants to scream, she needs to do something, but the situation is much too delicate to take such a risk.

“What will it be, kid?” Quaritch says, knife still against Spider neck, “The Sullys, who left you, abandoned you for months?” cries of protest from his siblings at the words spoken, “or me? who took care of you after they left you for dead?”

With no breath of hesitation in his voice, “Them! They’re my family! Not you! Never you!” Spider screams. Irritation pinches Quaritch’s face, he sets his jaw, “Then so be it.” and he cuts.

He cuts through Spider’s jugular, leaving to fall, blood sputtering through his fingers as he tries to add pressure. Everyone screams, scrambling to help Spider. The demon walks away with a limp in his step.

“Lyle, blow this pla-“ short, rapid fire gunshots, cut through everyones eardrums, the Sullys’ attention snapped to the cause of the beast’s death for a second. They were met with the image of Neteyam, gun in his arms, tears in his eyes, he drops it immediately and rushes to Spider’s side.

“Neteyam…” Kiri holds her hand out to him, her voice watery and scared, he takes her hand, and inches closer towards his brother, Tuk tucks herself onto him, wailing onto his chest, Lo’ak has both hands pressing on Spider’s neck, their dad is speaking softly to him, stroking his hair, while their mother is begging for Eywa to keep her son alive, to not take him away from them, from her, no, not yet

Spider is apologizing and they don’t know why, they just hold on to him and their siblings, “im sorry, im sorry… i love you, im sorry,” he coughs, blood splatters on his mask, dripping down the sides of his lips, “i just wanted to sa-…” He closes his eyes. The it’s like the world stopped spinning, everyone is silent, waiting for Spider to keep talking, because he always does, he always has something to say, but Jake has hung his head already.

Kiri was the first to talk Spider, “Monkey boy? Spider? Spider, what is it? Spider! What were gonna say?!” her voice gets shakier as she talks, her voice breaks at the end along it is her, curling into Spider’s chest.

“Spider? Wake up! C’mon, you’re scaring me!” Tuk, oh, little Tuk-tuk, she pleads, “Neteyam, do something!” She sobs. Neteyam can’t fix this one, he can’t lead them on this one, Neteyam doesn’t know what to do, instead her cries, not quietly, like Lo’ak, who is staring at his hands, covered in Spider’s blood, tears just running down his cheeks, but also not loudly, like Kiri, who demanding answers from the Great Mother, he just… cries. Holding the rest of his siblings in his arms.

Jake is on the opposite side of his children on Spider’s body, he wants to wipe away the tears and blood off of his son’s face, to remove the mask and clean his face off, he tries, but his daughters’ panicked screams of ‘Stop! He can’t breath with out it!” broke his heart further. Lo’ak cries like him, quiet, almost catatonic, a contrast to his mate who has screamed and wailed for it to not be true, sobbing for Eywa to not do this to them. With no protest fro Kiri, and little from Tuk, Neytiri holds Spider, sobbing louder when his body that was always warm, especially compared to their na’vi bodies, was starting to cool. Kiri and Tuk held onto their mother as they cried.

Jake neared his mate, gently pulling her towards him, as their remaining sons was held by their father, both boys leaning on Jake.

continuation

#idk what happenedkdkdjdk #avatar the way of water #avatar way of water #atwow #avatar twow #spider soccoro #kiri sully #neteyam suly #tuk sully #loak sully #spider socorro #kiri te suli kìreysì'ite #tuktirey te suli neytiri'ite #loak te suli tsyeyk’itan #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #spider te suli tsyeyk'itan

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Okay, so I’ve finished my taxes, and I’m basically out of the woods with some overwhelming work stuff, and everything turned out well with a medical situation with my mum, but I am still very tired, but I also cannot keep going without putting my preliminary thoughts on my very first viewing of season 3 down on a post…

It seems my worst characterization so far is assuming that these two idiots would learn to communicate. They haven’t, they’re stupid teenagers, they’re really bad at it, they get mad at each other for everything, and they don’t listen. And that needs to change soon if we want Wilmon endgame.

Boris, do you do couples therapy? PLEASE HELP THEM.

I think a big reason Wilhelm lashes out, besides getting caught up in his own head, is the fact that he’s also constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing and pissing Simon off. But the stakes for Simon are clearly higher. Wilhelm really needs to learn to communicate, but he’s dragging a whole life of terrible communication and zero support, so HOW is he supposed to learn, if he naturally feels afraid to open up?

It shows in the way he reacts to learning about Erik. Simon might be right, and Erik maybe just gave in to peer pressure, like everyone else in that school (which we see over and over again, like with the strike, and that guy who just repeats ‘yeah hilarious’ when Vincent tells him, and the graduation rituals and basically everything that everyone does at that fucking school), and maybe he wasn’t particularly homophobic. Or maybe he was, but if he had found out about Wilhelm maybe he would have changed his views (after all he was a stupid kid too)… But how would Wilhelm know? Erik is dead, there’s no way of asking him, confronting him about it. And people still call him perfect, and still compare him to his brother.

It must be so traumatizing to have held this person in your head as the one you trusted for everything, the one who would support you most, the one who probably knew you better than anyone else, who would love you and be there for you no matter what, and it turns out that he might not have accepted you at all. And just like that Wille is all alone and angry and afraid again.

(This is why it’s extra cruel that August posted that fucking video, especially how premeditated it was to share it over the whole world, but also then tell Wilhelm that his brother was possibly a homophobe. It doesn’t matter that he went through that horrible hazing, it doesn’t matter that he put a stop to it, and it doesn’t matter that he’s a stupid kid too, the fact that he did THAT to someone, anyone, is awful and he should have known better.)

So that scene in season 1 when Erik teases Wilhelm about his crush potentially changes completely. Maybe he didn’t suspect anything, maybe it was just a coincidence that he never used any pronouns…

And that makes it even more traumatizing that his parents still think of Erik as the figure of perfection, and Wilhelm, who is queer and scandalous and rebellious, is the real thorn on their side. Fucking Ludvig saying that Erik really was perfect, that he didn’t have “that darkness inside of him”, to his surviving son… But for all we know maybe Erik’s death was not accidental, maybe he did have “a darkness” inside of him.

On the other hand, that “darkness” doesn’t excuse Kristina at all. I am convinced that this depression/burnout that she’s going through is absolute bullshit. Sure, she might be depressed, she’s still grieving her “perfect” heir, and she’s going through a lot. But it’s like Wilhelm says, how convenient that she shuts down and breaks down now. She wasn’t like this when the video happened, because she could still cover it up. And she wasn’t like this when Wilhelm called her to scream that he was going to abdicate, because she could still drag him out of Hillerska. It was only when he told the whole world, and there was no covering it up anymore, that she suddenly became fragile with grief.

And even if it were true, even if she’s going through a severe depression or burnout, as a result of everything that’s happened, that doesn’t excuse her previous lies and manipulations. And it makes the fact that she still really wants Wille to become her successor, despite knowing what it could do to him, despite knowing that he’s already extremely anxious and that he does not know how to manage his own emotions, is evil.

(And even if she wants August to be the backup too, knowing how he is, knowing his own family history, and how it could affect him too, is evil too.) MORE on this later.

Kristina uses her breakdowns to emotionally manipulate Wille into trying to do his best to be the perfect crown prince, now indirectly through Farima and Ludvig. And Wille’s so concerned with her and her fragility that it affects his relationship with Simon. Because he’s anxious about the possible imminence of having to take over, of being the new monarch, when he can barely control his own feelings, when he just wants to enjoy his first relationship and just be in love.

Of course he made things worse for himself and Simon when he publicly revealed their relationship, but we can understand where that’s coming from. He didn’t want to hide anymore, he didn’t want to not be able to be himself anymore, not be able to be with the boy he loves. But they’re still forced to hide, because people start hating on Simon, because people won’t stop talking about them (as much as I HATED Wille shushing Simon, I also understood that he didn’t want anyone to hear their argument, because he didn’t want to give people more reason to talk about them, but also there’s probably a lot of ‘keeping up appearances’ embedded in his mind), because they are very different and almost incompatible for many reasons, and because being the crown prince means conforming to a lot of things (no tattoos, no cutting your hair shorter than, no nail polish, no expressing political opinions, etc etc), and so he has to remove the nail polish and he doesn’t want his foundation to be geared toward LGBTQIA+ people or mental health issues… He can’t express himself, he can’t be himself, because what he is or who he is for real is not compatible with his role or what is expected of him… he’s so repressed still.

(The whole nail polish scene, and the scene where Simon suggests that Wille’s foundation could be geared toward LGBTQIA+ youth, reminded me a little of Isak in SKAM saying that he wasn’t just going to start marching in the Pride parade or wearing makeup. Wille is not necessarily about identity expression, or at least he doesn’t think that he should be. He just wants to be himself, and be with the boy he loves, and that’s it).

As for Simon, he can do no wrong, and I absolutely agree with everything he says and does, but he has always been very idealistic, and he does come across as a little more naïve than I expected, especially with the whole social media comments and his song. It wasn’t the first time he experienced it, because things went south for him when he appeared on the video, so for him now to think that people are magically not going to be cruel.

But I understand how much he’s sacrificing for Wille, and Wille not appreciating it at all must sting. Just like he points out that he didn’t have contact with Micke for years, for Sara’s sake, and suddenly she’s living with him… that fucking hurt. Simon has always been very opinionated and outspoken, and he’s very authentically and proudly himself, but he’s also always molded himself to what other people need, like being a parented child and taking on too much in the house to relieve Linda, and taking care of Sara, and worrying about his father, and letting himself be manipulated by Marcus, and now basically giving up a lot of himself to be with Wille. And as a result Linda treats him like he’s a drug addict, and Sara goes to the father she didn’t want to have contact with, and Marcus talks shit about him to the press, and Wille doesn’t listen to him…

Sara saw the light (sort of), so maybe hopefully Wille will too. More on that later too.

Anyway, it would have been nice for someone from the royal court to sit Simon down and explain to him what being the boyfriend of a royal involves, so that Wille doesn’t have to figure out how to tell him all these difficult things himself. Wille is so used to some of these things, they seem so obvious to him, that he might not immediately think of how weird or outlandish it might seem to Simon. (THat scene with the cake, I mean… it was funny in a way, but I wonder how many terrifying thoughts crossed Simon’s mind, the obvious “wait what??? did I just eat poison???” but also “wait what??? someone’s trying to poison my boyfriend????” and “there are kids here, have they also accidentally been poisoned????”).

I really really hope that, since he’s being forced to go to Boris with August, that Wille will think about going with Simon, and trying to work things out. They need to be able to say all these things to each other, get on the same page.

More importantly, I need a callback to what Boris said to him in season 2, about the expectations of his family, about being able to make his own choices. Which Wille internalized beautifully with that speech to Simon outside his house.

Anyway, this is already very long. Moving on to more general thoughts:

- I did think that the fact that they sort of resolved the whole issue with the police report and the drugs felt a little anticlimactic. It was built up and built up and the whole season 2 finale was about that, and we had a cliffhanger and everything, and then… bye. I wonder if it will come back (more on that later).

- And for that matter, Alexander just became a background character. Did he even have any lines? I could barely spot him.

- August telling Wilhelm in front of everyone at the table that he’s sure Wille will fuck up on his own… rich.

- Also Stella and Rosh was sort of hinted at, it happened in a blink, and then Fredrika was… jealous? Confused? Homophobic? All of the above? But then… NOTHING. Stella was even missing in the last episode, because she was “sick”… (scheduling conflicts for Felicia? Actually sick?)

- I think it’s interesting that Sara preached and preached to Simon about giving people a second chance, including their dad, and then she… goes and does it? It wasn’t the first time she did, she was with August despite the awful thing he did. And then she goes and… gives August ANOTHER chance????

- Someone needs to tell Sara that she needs to stop getting wtih August, because every time they get together somehow, Wilmon go south… It seems these two couples cannot exist simultaneously…

- So I still have to rewatch, but… is August then in the middle of selling his father’s estate to pay Simon? Are any of his friends aware of this?

- I have a cultural question: what was the whole deal about travelling to the US? I mean, I thought they were asking if these kids have never travelled abroad, but they mentioned the US specifically, several times… Is that a thing in Sweden, traveling to the US? Not any other part of Europe? Not Asia? Just wondering. Made me curious.

- Still waiting for this season’s Elias song… just one episode left… If we don’t get one, or a callback to Revolution, I might claw my face off…

- Nils repeating that maybe Wille would have been better off with someone from the inner circle. Seriously, Nils, who do you mean? WHO? Who could you be referring to? Hmm?

- Something else about Nils… a part of me really wished that Wille would have asked Nils for confirmation on the Erik thing. Wille obviously doesn’t want to believe it at first, but then he does, and hearing it from August makes it even worse, so maybe hearing it from someone like Nils would be the final confirmation that he would need, that his brother was the worst. On the other hand, for him to ask Nils to confirm something like that, as a gay, and possibly hearing what happened to him as a result of it… that would have probably made it even worse.

- Really hate that Marcus was mentioned, that he came back to haunt Simon in a way, even if it was minimal. But props to Simon for not rising to the bait in that moment.

- Simon, my love, i understand that you’re upset and heartbroken, but… it would have been nice if you tried to get Wille to talk to you one last time, before breaking up with him on his birthday… especially seeing everything he’s going through. Not that your feelings are any less important than his, of course, but… are you trying to get him to jump out the window????

-Eternally saddened by the disappearance of the orange sweater. Eternally saddened by the fact that Wilhelm did not set foot in or around Simon’s house this season. Although who knows, still one episode left…

Things that I liked most:

- Seriously the chemistry between Edvin and Omar is OFF THE CHARTS. The intimacy coordinator this season was very good.

- Especially that sex scene. Not just because it makes me immensely happy when my favorite ship fucks, because holy shit that was hot, but also because there’s a whole theme around all the hate mail and messages and classism and homophobia and toxic masculinity that Simon is a target of, especially being Latino, whilst Wille, being white and privileged and high class and the heir to the throne, is probably seen as the “man” of the relationship (especially since in the video he’s also the one “in control” whilst Simon is the receiver), so it’s very VERY satisfying to see that they are both top and bottom at times, and they both equally enjoy it.

- Also the use of choir music during the sex scene, giving it a very holy feel, much like Elias’s Holy playing when they have sex again in season 2… seriously I NEED my Elias song this season or I WILL START A REVOLUTION.

- At first I was annoyed at the whole “school possibly closing” plotline, because I thought it was unneeded. Or that maybe it would play a bigger role in the whole video-drugs controversy. But the truth is that it was really good, how it highlighted these kids’ privilege and the absurdity of wanting to cover things up and uphold traditions, and it also worked wonderfully to highlight the divide between Simon and Wille. As Simon says to Wille, he only takes a stand when he has nothing to lose.

- Felice. Felice this whole season was magnificent. Her whole breakdown over the end of her friendship with Sara, showing how truly important it was to her. And Madison saying that sometimes breaking up with a friend is worse than getting dumped, and I AGREE SO MUCH. But then I also think she loses her sense of self, because despite being popular and beautiful, she still gets used and treated badly, by August (obviously), but also by Wille (the kiss), and worst of all by Sara (who in a way used her for her horse, but also for the clout). And in the meantime, she’s treated differently than the other students for being one of the few black girls, and she gets singled out for her hair… and yet, the school is using her to make themselves look good. And now she decides to give Sara a second chance, because she really missed her, because it really hurt to lose that friend, and Sara goes and… does that…

- One of my favorite things about Simon is how he is proof that just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that you have flawless fashion sense. And i can’t help but wonder how fashion and style icon/ELLE’s Best Dressed Man/OMR Beauty founder Omar feels about Simon’s fashion choices. Never change, Simon, never change.

- Vincent was every bit of the tremendous asshole that I hoped he’d be this season. Did not disappoint. I wanted to punch him in the face every time he opened his mouth. Marvellous.

- I’m happy that we got more Madison, but still not enough. Still, iconic. Forever one of my favorite characters.

- I don’t know what to say about Sara and Micke. Just maybe that, when he played that song in the car, even before they started singing, i just knew “oh fuck, it’s all going to shit soon…” I guess Sara felt lost enough that she was suddenly willing to give him a second chance. And the whole “is that going to happen to me?” bit really made me sad. That she understands that mental health and mental illness is unfortunately many times hereditary, and worries that she might become just like him… But despite not being entirely like him, with addiction problems and such, she was still unreliable like him, she did bad things to her family like he did… I was rooting for you, Micke, we were all rooting for you.

- I feel that August’s love for status and for the monarchy might be starting to fray at the edges. First with the fact that he was reminded of his own traumatizing initiation, and reminded of how the crown prince, his cousin and friend and idol, himself was part of that. Second with the fact that Simon points out that he might have an eating disorder, how he would probably not fare any better than the queen if he were in such a stressful position as crown prince or king, how difficult it is for him to handle stress and anxiety. And third with seeing how it affects Wille and Simon and realizing that something similar might still happen to him and Sara. And the fact that he reveals to Sara why he is the way he is, that he lets his guard down with her, might point to even more growth (even though I hate that Sara sort of gave him a “second chance” again). Also I feel the reality of how they, the Royal Court, would control his life is finally sinking in. Hopefully he will also soon realize that they also use him as a manipulation tool. So maybe he won’t let himself be manipulated by them much longer.

- I loved Wille’s ultimate outburst at his mother and father, i love that he told them everything they needed to hear, about their emotional abuse, their neglect. Unfortunately they still refused to acknowledge how terrible parents they have been, and walked off, instead of trying to resolve it. So Wille throwing around the gifts, as impulsive and tantrum-ish it might come across, makes perfect sense. He tries to talk and gets nothing in return. If he’s repressed it’s bad, but if he expresses himself then nothing happens either.

- And I love that Simon got to see what Wille is really dealing with. As privileged as he might be, he’s still lacking the most important things: unconditional support and love. No amount of money or status can make it better, and Wille is broken. The only thing is that, Simon saw how broken Wille was over the death of his brother, whom he loved very much, but I don’t think he quite grasps the gravity of Wille learning that maybe that beloved brother wouldn’t have been so cool with him, because he has never had to deal with a parent or sibling rejecting him for his sexuality. It’s something very different to be rejected by society at large than it is to be rejected by your own family, and not everyone has the emotional strength to deal with that. So for Wille’s parents to still like his potentially homophobic dead brother more than him, is heart-wrenching. But I don’t think Simon really gets that because he’s probably not surprised that Erik might have been like that, because in his eyes those privileged kids in that school (except obviously Wille, and Felice and Madison, who is asking about the non-binaries) are probably all massive homophobes.

- Despite this, I love that Simon sets boundaries nonetheless. I mean, it hurt like fucking hell for him to tell Wille, on his fucking birthday, that maybe they shouldn’t be together. But just because Wille is hurting doesn’t mean that Simon has not also been hurting too. And if they can’t comfort each other, and try to support each other when they both obviously most need it, then maybe they’re just not going to work. And it took a lot of guts for Simon to bring it up in that moment, in Wille’s bed, in the palace, where he’s basically trapped, with nowhere to go, no way to get away (I doubt he called Linda in the middle of the night to come pick him up more than two hours away in Stockholm).

My hopes for the final episode (I don’t think I have any predictions other than, open ending or not, Wilmon will be endgame and there will be a revolution, I just don’t know how):

- Wilmon talk. An actual, healthy, heartfelt talk. A reconciliation for the ages.

- That the fucking school will close and August won’t be able to graduate, and he’ll realize that maybe he shouldn’t have “lived for that school”, as Erik once put it.

- That Wille will realize that, if Erik was not the person he thought he was, then maybe he no longer has to live up to his legacy anymore. @foreverunraveling pointed out how, now that the big Erik revelation is confirmed, then maybe the queen’s trump card to manipulate Wille into being the ideal crown prince is gone. Wille doesn’t care about the monarchy really, but he did care about not disappointing his brother, the “perfect crown prince”, and now we know that he was far from perfect. Erik lived a double life, as Wille points out, there was “public Erik” or crown prince Erik, and there was “private Erik”, or the real Erik (or so Wille thought, now we know there was a “secret Erik” which was the real Erik) and Wille struggles so much with the idea of having to split himself in two, . Wille cannot live a double life, he withers away when he has to hide himself, and now he gets the opportunity to leave that stifling life behind, and blossom.

- That Simon will get a fucking break. I hate that his whole life was turned upside down from the moment the video was leaked, and it’s just never going to be the same, whether he stays with Wille or not, he’ll always be the boy from the crown prince sex tape, he’ll always be the crown prince’s ex, or the crown prince’s boyfriend. But I want some positive feedback for him, someone bigger than the woman and the little boy wanting a selfie. I want him to have his own fanclub or something. Maybe that’s too idealistic…? (I may be imagining something like that scene in Red White and Royal Blue, when they realize that there’s a whole crowd outside the palace all excited to the the Prince and his First son boyfriend… one can dream).

- I want whatever Felice said during the interview to be taken seriously, and for her to stop doubting herself.

- I want a genuine apology from August.

- Also one from Kristina.

- I get the feeling that the fact that August leaked the video might still come out publicly, what with the whole school issue. And in that case, I would like for it to be Simon might to do it, tossing the money from the settlement in his face. It looks like Simon still feels guilty about accepting it, especially when he chided Wille about his privilege and Wille (figuratively) threw the money back in his face. What if Simon does it literally?

- I really wanna know what’s going to happen between Felice and Sara now. The outlook is not good.

- Is it too much to ask to know what’s going on between Stella and Fredrika?

- Most importantly, is the whole thing with Erik going to come out eventually? And how will people react? With support for the monarchy, or with support for Wille?

I have so many more thoughts, but I’m slightly burnt out, and I really should take a break. Also this is way too long. Might have more thoughts once I’ve rewatched the first five episodes, calmly over the weekend…

Also this is very long and I’m sorry.

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