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loquaciousferret · 1 year

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Bad People

Summary: A stroke of fate leads one of your trading partners in the QZ to your front door one night, could it lead to something unexpected?

Pairing: Joel Miller X Female Reader

Content Warnings: alcohol, established age-gap, SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, facial, cumplay? Maybe more READ AT OWN RISK

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: More Joel thots and a serious praise kink going on...? Anyways...

As always, not canon timeline or events. Joel aged maybe 40, 45?, but dialogue references it being 20 years into the outbreak.

NSFW under the cut do not press keep reading if you are a minor pls thx!

“We got to stop runnin’ into each other like this, darlin’.” The cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth wobbled as his lips turned up into a smirk.

He was right. This was the 4th or 5th time this month, and the 2nd time just this week that the pair of you had traded. You didn't answer, just tutting and shaking your head, looking down shyly at your feet. The way he talked to you pleased you a little bit, but you're sure he's like this with everyone.

“You should be more careful.” He frowns. “You’re lucky it was me on the other end of that setup. Could’ve been bad people. There's lots of em around here”

You looked up to meet his eye before screwing your nose up at him playfully. “You are one of the bad people around here.”

His smirk only widened at your remark, his eyes sparkling just a fraction more.

“I can be, if that’s what gets ya goin’…” He took a draw of his cigarette, gaze intense as he released the puff of smoke into the space between you.

You feigned disgust at his remark, clicking your tongue but couldn't help yourself from smiling again as you met his eye, “Goodbye, Joel.”

You shot a look over your shoulder as you left the alleyway and stepped into the street, pleased to find his eyes still fixated on you. A coy smile is sent his way and then a passing truck and a horde of guards pass between you. Once they’ve moved on, he’s gone, retreated into the shadows at the other end of the alley no doubt.

You had been trading with Joel Miller for nearly 6 months, he was a prolific smuggler with access to goods you didn’t even know still existed. In return, you had your own ways of sourcing his vices, cigarettes, alcohol, pills, small items easy enough to steal for someone as small and unassuming as yourself.

Illicit trading within the QZ operated in a variety of ways, one of the most common being through encoded notes or messages left in public places. And Joel was right, it could be bad people at the end of them, or perhaps worse, it could be undercover guards weeding out rule breakers. But often, the goods were worth the risk. And more and more frequently of late, you were finding Joel at the end of these messages.

You found there was something trustworthy about his eyes, despite a hardened and threatening exterior, and the bulges of multiple weapons in his jeans, his jacket pockets. You got the sense he had a soft spot for you and that always came in handy in regards to a good price for trading.

You traveled the short distance to your makeshift home within the QZ, a relatively quiet street and certainly one of the less dilapidated buildings. You knew you were lucky to have this place compared to the living conditions of some friends you’d made over the years here.

You had front door access up a short flight of stairs and fairly large windows, facing towards the centre of the town. You had managed to fabricate wooden shutters that you used for privacy and safety. Unlocking the door and crossing the threshold, you breathed out and released tension you hadn’t noticed you were carrying. Even within the QZ it was a dangerous world, for no one moreso than a single woman. You weren’t naive and knew that whilst living in the QZ kept you save from infected, there were fates worse than that.

You struck a match and lit the candles that surrounded the living area, the end of October meaning shorter days, night was quick to fall and curfew rapidly approached.

You began to empty your heavy pack, you had done a number of supply runs today, some through the legitimate channels. Food, soaps, a perfume for which you had swapped nearly an unjustifiable quantity of ration papers, a very specific red wine courtesy of Joel, which you had wanted for your birthday coming up, and a novel. You stowed the rest of this away in the right places and settled in to the sofa with the book, curling into a blanket that you have had since before the outbreak.

Curfew came and went with all of the city sounds ceasing, replaced only by the occasional stomp of guards patrolling the street.

You hadn’t realised you had drifted off whilst reading until you were sharply awoken by banging on the door. You leaped into action mode, reaching under the sofa for a baseball bat that you stored there. As you creeped towards the door there was another round of banging, and your mind whirred with possibilities. If it was FEDRA they would have shouted and said so. Could it be a friend? You weren’t sure. A possibility you hadn’t considered, was looking through the peep hole and seeing… Joel?

You kept the baseball bat gripped in one hand, breaking all rules and common sense about personal safety to unlock the door with the other. His eyes widen in surprise momentarily and you realise that he hadn’t been seeking you out, he had just knocked on any door. As you registered this realisation he pushed past you into the house.

He slammed the door behind himself, locking every bolt rapidly as if he was familiar with the apartment. He wasn’t, of course, but this is the kind of confidence and self-assuredness with which Joel completes every action. He proceeds to a small chink in the wooden shutters over the windows, sweeping up and down the street. Satisfied, he turns to you.

Eyes flickering between your face and the bat still clutched in your right hand, he smirks, “You gonna hit me with that?”

“I-oh.” You let out a breath of laughter and tossed the bat onto the soft sofa. “I guess not.”

“I was just looking for someone stupid enough to let a stranger into their house, I got lucky.” He explained, confirming your suspicions that he hadn’t known this was your place.

You rolled your eyes. “What are you doing anyway. Is someone after you?”

“No one dangerous,” He responds “Just FEDRA. I won’t have brought any trouble to your door. They won’t find me, idiots can barely track down their own heads.”

You smile at him.

“But seriously, what I said earlier about you needing to be more careful. ‘s true. Would you just let any old crazy person in off the street who needs your help.”

“You aren’t just any old crazy person.” You smiled. “Devil you know, and all that?”

He reached a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, your eyes fixed on the strong arm flexing under his thin jacket.

“Listen, uh…” He shifted on his feet and his ever confident appearance faltered slightly. “I know it’s a lot to ask, and I promise I’ll pay you back fairly-“

You were nodding before he finished the question. Of course you would let him stay. You did trust him, despite not really knowing him. And you didn’t want to see him caught or hurt by the guards. His business benefitted you, too. There was a net gain to helping him. But more than that, you found yourself intrigued and almost excited at the prospect of having someone in your home like a normal old day.

“It’s no trouble, really.” You said sincerely, and his eyes expressed relief. “You’ll just have to me owe me one.”

“Anythin’, honestly.” He responded.

“Take a seat.” You urged him, picking up the baseball bat and sliding it back underneath the sofa. “Are you hungry?”

“No, no. I wouldn’t ask you to waste your food.” He shook his head.

“Suit yourself.” You shrugged.

You sat opposite him in an armchair. You had better furniture than many people, mismatched but relatively clean and comfortable. You watched him as he collected a lighter and cigarettes from his pocket, raising an eyebrow when he looks back at you in confusion.

The penny drops and he asks, “Can’t I smoke in here?”

You consider him for a moment over the top of your book. “I guess so.” You offer, but he’s replacing them back into his pocket already. You realise you had made a mistake, then. You recognised a knowing look in his eyes, he knew you weren’t happy with the smoking and yet you had said yes to him anyway. A glint in his eye was questioning what else you might say yes to. You blush as your train of thought continues.

He cleared his throat, breaking the tension between the two of you which you had felt rising. “So, why the wine? You hosting dinner parties these days or somethin’?”

You laugh a little at the suggestion, both knowing the answer. “Nope, I’ve got a big birthday coming up.”

“That right?” He raised an eyebrow. “How old?”

“Guess.” You shot back, folding the corner of your page and setting it on the coffee table.

“Ah…” He tilted his head. “No, I’m not falling into that trap.”

You leaned towards him and put on a theatrical whisper, “Twenty-five”

He grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Oh yeah, ancient.”

“On Wednesday.” You added.

“I don’t celebrate my birthday. What’s the big deal about another year in this place.”

You rolled your eyes. “25? Remember? It’s pretty much all I’ve known.”

A sharp intake of breath from Joel has you pondering. You’ve never been good at knowing other people’s age, but you imagine he has 15 years on you at the very least. He most likely lived a life he remembered well before this, unlike you, who only has faint fragments from your early childhood.

“How old are you?” You asked.

“Old enough to be your father.”

His tone was laced with something unfamiliar. You tore your eyes away from him and returned them to your book. Fine, if that’s how he wanted to play it, you thought. But something about how he held your gaze when he said it made you think he wasn’t expressing disgust or disinterest at all, it was more like a test.

“You live alone?” You ask.

“Why?” His eyes narrowed.

You sigh, “Just making conversation.” You muttered back.

“Yes.” He confirms. “You?”

You gestured around the apartment. “Just me. After..” You trailed off.

He nodded knowingly. “Yeah.”

Details were never needed. Everybody had lost most of those close to them. People with remaining family from before were few and far between and very very fortunate. You weren’t one of those fortunate few and Joel’s entire character made it clear that neither was he. He was out for himself, only. Maybe that could work to your advantage.

“Well, listen. Do you want to share that bottle?” You asked, tentatively. “Today’s Saturday and you need somewhere to stay. Better than me celebrating alone on a weeknight.”

“Don’t see why not.” He says.

Before you could stop yourself, the bottle was empty and you had loosened up. Probably to a degree more than was wise. At some point you had moved from your armchair to occupy the sofa alongside Joel, there had been a reason but you had never proceeded to move away again.

Something about it felt so natural, so normal, like being in the company of a friend. You had even extracted a few laughs from him.

You were watching him, not expectantly, just lost in your thoughts and his deep brown eyes when he cleared his throat and you realised just how close to him you were, warmth radiating from him, a rich musky scent, all contributing to the somewhat magnetic force you felt acting upon yourself.

“It’s been a while.” He said.

You didn’t know what he was referring to. A while since what? Since he drank wine? Since he shared a night like this with another human being? Since…

His mouth latching onto yours interrupted your train of thought. His kiss was hungry, but not desperate, it remained powerful and dominant, just like the energy Joel permanently exuded.

You lifted your hands to tug lightly at the curls at the back of his neck, tilting your head up and deepening the kiss in the process. He turned to face you more fully, a strong arm reaching round to wrap around your middle. And with one movement, that same arm manoeuvring you onto his lap. The kiss breaks for the first time and you pull away ever so slightly to look at him. The sight staring back at you is the most attractive thing you think you have ever seen. Pupils dilated, broad chest rising and falling rapidly as he takes shallow breaths. You feel something growing in his jeans at the place your body connects to his. The affect you were having on him after just briefly making out gave you confidence.

“I’ve wanted you, for such a long time,” He whispers into you as he pulls you closer again, hot breath tickling your neck, your ear, as he flicks out his tongue and nibbles your earlobe. “Tonight I’m finally going to have you.”

You can’t stop an audible whimper escaping and you feel his smirk in return. Of course, you had messed around with other young men in the QZ, friends and such, but never had you felt attraction as deeply as you did to Joel in this moment. Joel knew what he wanted and how to get it. There was nothing awkward or fumbling about this like your previous encounters.

You pressed your lips to his again, rolling your lower half into him. His firm hands gripped your hips and his fingertips lightly grazed the skin as your top started to ride up. His touch was magic, the way in which he managed to be simultaneously so powerful yet remain gentle was expert.

He broke the kiss again, his voice husky as he questioned, “You gonna show me to your room or do you want me to take you right here, beautiful?”

You couldn’t speak, just hopping off of his lap in response and taking one of his large hands in yours to lead him to the bedroom at the back of the apartment. The corridor, only a few feet long, had never felt like such a long walk due to the anticipation that was reaching unmanageable levels inside you.

You entered the room and Joel closed the door behind you, plunging the room into darkness. Spinning you round by your wrist to face him, he began stripping the clothes from your body whilst kissing you, quickly taking your sweater off over your head. You fumbled with the buttons on his shirt in return, but he quickly took over, pushing your hands lower to deal with his belt buckle as he tore off his forest green button-down. You successfully undid his buckle and unzipped his jeans, slipping your hand inside to press against the hardened bulge inside his boxers.

A low groan escapes his lips as you apply further pressure, palming his cock as it continues to harden further.

“Don’t tease me baby, you won’t like where it gets you.” He says, as he pushes you gently onto the bed.

You can’t make out his features in the darkness but his tone paints a picture of that signature smirk that is making you grow wetter by the second. He pulls your bottoms from your legs and you hear them land somewhere across the room, before doing the same with his own. His hands widen your thighs and you feel the weight of the bed shift as he positions himself between your legs. You reach your arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss, and he uses this as an opportunity to snake an arm around your back and unclasp your bra.

It drops to the floor to reveal your breasts and hardened nipples, which he teases lightly with his thumbs, continuing to kiss you.

“Isn’t this a pretty sight.” he mumbles as he leans back, taking you in as much as he could in the low light before attaching his mouth to your nipple, sucking and nibbling lightly, eliciting gasps from you.

You feel yourself rolling your hips towards him, finding his thigh and whining at the lack of attention your lower half was receiving from him.

“Patience, sweetheart.” He smirks, gripping your hips and pinning them onto the bed.

He fulfils your request anyhow, gently rubbing you through your underwear as he focussed his attention once again on your breasts. kneading one in one hand whilst balancing his weight on his elbow, and continuing to use his tongue on the other, sloppy kissing and suction on your nipple and intermittent biting that had you whining through gritted teeth.

You were sure he could feel your arousal, heat and wetness permeating through the thin material of your underwear, letting him know the effect his teasing was having on you.

“J-Joel.” You gasped, your tone not far from begging. “Please.”

He obliged at last, “Only cause you asked me so nicely,” He whispered into your skin, kissing and sucking your breasts, your throat, your neck, your ear.

Joel was consuming every single one of your senses, intensifying the pleasure you felt when he finally inserted a finger into you. You felt as though you were practically dripping all over him, malleable and ready for whatever he might give you. He groaned softly as he curled his finger inside you, pulling it out painstakingly slowly to replace it with two this time.

You let out a quiet moan, biting your lip to try and hold back the sounds of your pleasure, not wanting to let him see how much this act alone was affecting you.

“Let me hear you, baby.” He said, as if reading your mind. “Show me how much you like to be touched.”

You let yourself go now as he picked up his pace, curling his fingers hard and fast against that spot inside you that had your toes curling. As he continued this, his thumb found its way to your clit and he rubbed slow circles into it.

“Oh, Joel…” You gasped, twisting the bedsheets in your fists either side of you. “I want you to fuck me Joel, please Joel I- ah” You cut yourself off with another moan as he inserted a third finger, stretching you out and increasing the pace and force with which he massaged your clit.

“Baby, the way you beg so nicely has me tempted. But I need you to come before I fuck you.”

You nodded and reached a hand out towards him, feeling for him with your eyes closed. Your hand connected with his shoulder and you tugged him towards you gently, keen to be enveloped in his warmth, his scent. He reached his lips down to yours and your moans escaped into the kiss. Your eyes shot open when he removed his fingers from inside you and then his whole hand from where it had been working at you.

He pulled away from the kiss and replaced his mouth with his fingers, which you sucked instinctively, interpreting his wordless request.

He moaned as you swirled your tongue around his fingers and tasted yourself and you did too, closing your eyes and releasing your sounds of pleasure.

“Jesus…” He sighed contentedly

He returned his hand to your core and focused entirely on your clit this time, pinching gently before rubbing circles rhythmically. You were close to orgasm already, your deep attraction to him and the power he exercised over you all encouraged your release quicker than usual.

It didn’t take long for his practiced attention on your clit, coupled with his low praise in your ears, when you felt it building inside you.

You arched your back slightly, pressing yourself against his hand to increase the friction however possible.

“That’s it, baby.” He muttered in your ear. “Show me how good it feels.”

“You gonna come for me, good girl?” He breathed.

Your face was screwed up in pleasure, your breathing shallow and erratic as your orgasm built, tension growing more and more.

“Let me hear those pretty sounds, sweetheart.” He urged.

You came hard with noises between moans and wails escaping your lips. Joel’s pace didn’t falter as you enjoyed your orgasm, writhing your lower body against him before you collapsed onto the bed, spent of the energy needed to hold yourself up.

He pressed a wet kiss onto your cheek before moving from where he lay alongside you to position himself over you. He took your hand and guided it to his erection, which you palmed gently, feeling its size again. He sighed at the sensation of your small hands grasping him through the fabric, but he had little patience for this moment and quickly moved on to removing them, pulling them down his thighs and allowing his cock to spring free. You resisted literally letting your jaw drop as you saw him bare and felt the full weight and size of him. Definitely bigger than anything you had experience with.

He took a hold of himself, guiding his tip down to rub it through your folds, causing you to shudder slightly with your clit still sensitive from your orgasm. He nudged the tip to your wet hole and you bit your lip as he entered you, slowly at first until he was about halfway in before thrusting himself into you as deep as he could. At this, you couldn’t keep your noise to yourself, releasing a desperate and tortured moan.

He took this noise as a sign to continue at this pace, dragging out of you slowly but thrusting in with force, hitting the deepest parts of you.

You moaned and whined and could barely catch a breath, his thrusts picking up in pace as he used your body for his pleasure.

“God, Joel, yes,” You say, but you are sure it comes out unintelligible. “Please fuck me like that Joel it feels so good oh my god.”

He grunted in response and continued, taking one hand and giving attention to your clit as he fucked you relentlessly, all you could do was babble words of praise and thanks and his name, rolling from your tongue as though you were addressing a deity.

“You’re so tight.” He groans through gritted teeth, bringing his body closer to yours to kiss at your skin as he fucks you.

You sense he won’t last much longer when he slows down his thrusts, and your suspicions are confirmed when he asks “Where do you want my cum, beautiful?”

Your eyes widen and you open your mouth, sticking your tongue out. The look on your face as you do this is almost enough to push him over the edge, “Oh god.” He exclaims, pulling out of you in a rush. A playful look in your eyes as you laugh a little, still keeping your tongue out.

He grabbed your arms and manoeuvred you roughly onto the floor in front at the edge of the bed. He kneeled on the bed above you and you kept eye contact with him, wiggling your tongue as he pumped his cock in his hand.

He groaned as he watched you, you closed your eyes briefly and he scolded you.

“Keep them open.”

You did so, and with another few tugs of his wrist he was exploding all over your face, salty cum landing mostly on your outstretched tongue and inside your mouth but some more leaking onto your nose, cheeks, and chin.

You swallowed what was in your mouth and tongue as he kept his eyes fixated on you, deflating slightly and relaxing lower onto the bed. He reached out and used his thumb to wipe your face, collecting his spent load from around your face and guiding it towards your lips. You sucked on his thumb obediently, and he sighed, totally transfixed and holding your gaze throughout your entire performance for him.

With most of him cleaned up from your face you straightened up higher and he reached over to press a chaste kiss to the top of your head.

“You did fantastic.” He praised, and you hummed, enjoying the feeling of his hand holding the back of your neck and his face pressed into your hair.

When he released you and lay backwards onto the bed, you got up and padded barefoot to your bathroom. You washed your face and rinsed your mouth out, eyeing yourself in the cracked mirror. Your hair was slightly pressed to your forehead with sweat and the rest of it was sticking out wildly. Your cheeks were dark with blush and you still hadn’t quite slowed your breathing down to normal. Yep, you looked like someone who had just been fucked hard.

You crept back to bed, floorboards creaking, collecting your underwear on the way and putting it on before sliding under the covers. He stood slowly and did the same, reaching out to pull you close towards him, attacking the top of your head, your forehead, your throat, your chest, with rapid kisses.

“Joel-“ You giggled, flattered with the kind of attention he continued to give you after the sex was over.

After a final kiss, he kept you close to him, inhaling from the top of your head, his breath tickling you.

You lay this way, content for a while, until something compelled you to speak. “Joel?” You said softly, your voice not quite a whisper, unsure if he was awake.

“Hm?” He responded, rubbing circles on your waist with his thumb where his arm was around you, holding you tightly to him.

“Are we going to do this again?” You asked shyly.

He exhaled with what might have been a small laugh. “Absolutely, sweetheart. You’re not gonna get rid of me now.”

You nuzzled into his neck and eventually, sleep took you. Nothing you could dream about would top the night you had just had with Joel.

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel tlou #tlou fanfiction #the last of us #the last of us smut #joel miller x f!reader #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfic #joel miller fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller au #pedro pascal x reader

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cy-cyborg · 2 months

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Earlier today I saw a video from Council of geeks on Youtube talking about how frequently and potentially overused swearing is in adult animation. It’s a great video, but I wanted to add my 2c to the conversation real quick.

I grew up in rural Australia in an area that is primarily inhabited by bogans, and if there’s one thing rural bogans know, it’s casual swearing. Australia as a whole uses the word “cunt” in almost the same way we say “mate” - in some circles “cunt” is seen as the friendlier option, and bogans take that even further. constant, frequent swearing was such a normalised part of speech when I was a kid that it was normal for our teachers in high school (which starts in years 6 or 7 depending on the state, and goes all the way to year 12) to swear at us. Not aggressively mind you, they just used the words casually, and the kids would swear at them back. It wasn’t usually an issue, even when they were trying to be an asshole.

Despite this, even I find a lot of adult animation’s use of swear words a bit jarring at times, and I think Council of Geeks put the feeling i’d had about it into words very well: it’s the way a lot of these shows draw attention to it, even when it’s supposedly normalised.

The people back home can hardly get through a sentence without swearing at least once. at least. I use the word “fuck’n…” the same way other people use “umm…” and I know someone who named their dogs “sick cunt” (or “cunty” for short) and my own dad named one of my childhood dogs “fugly” (short for fucking ugly - that was his legal name my dad put on his adoption paperwork from the shelter). when these words are used so often, they do loose their impact, and you can tell they have by the way we all use them around there. If you’re going to use that same kind of frequent “bad” language in your work, you need to acknowledge it too. that’s where a lot of shows who try to emulate this way of speaking fall over.

As funny as it is to say, Spongbob was right when it called the obvious stand-ins for swear words “sentence enhancers” - that is usually the goal of words like “fuck” and “shit” when not used in the context of their literal definitions: to put emphasis on what’s being said. You could say “This traffic is SO slow!” or you could say “Fuck! This traffic is SO fucking slow!”. You could say “are you kidding me?” or you could say “Are you shitting me?” - in both these cases, the addition of the swear words emphasises the rest of the sentence and the emotion behind it.

But when you are swearing every other word, they stop working that way. “this traffic is so fucking slow” is a lot less impactful when that’s the 5th time you’ve said some variation of “fucking” that conversation. So when people back home swear, it’s just a filler word. there is no emphasis, there’s not heightened emotion, nothing. It’s a normal, standard part of speech that is so common and normalised, it sounds weird to people back home when you don’t use it. I’d go so far as to say it get’s the same kind of reaction from people back home as if you were speaking with flat affect (I’m saying this as an autistic person who took a while to warm up to swearing like that, with autistic friends who spoke with very little tone or expression).

phrases like “ah get fucked cunt” are an honestly very casual and friendly phrase (no, I’m not exaggerating) said the same tone you might use to say “nah I don’t feel like [whatever the topic of conversation was]”. honestly I tried to give some more examples, but it’s extremely difficult to demonstrate over text. Australia has a pretty big film and TV industry though, so if you want some examples of what I mean, watch some Aussie TV (look for anything with an MA or R rating, anything under that and they will likely limit the use of “foul language”) especially anything set in small towns or the bush or find rural aussie creators online.

My point is, If you want to have swearing and cursing as a part of your regular vocabulary in your setting, you need to treat it like it’s actually normalised like any other word. If you wouldn’t put emphasis on words like “house” or “dog” or “car” then don’t put that emphasis on words like “fuck” and “shit” lol.

#writing #writeblr #writing dialogue #writing advice #swearing

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mysticficti0n · 11 months

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All my attention Part 6

warnings- swearing, drinking, flirting, dirty talk to the max, Degrading but not in a mean way?

words- 3.3k

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so if you're new here I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well

(also would you guys want me to do smut for this? I don't have to if you don't want it but... I could write some good pieces for the next few chapters?????)

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

Everyone arrived by 8:50 and were all seated around a extremely large table, each family sat drinking and laughing over different things, on our side of the table (meaning me, Tom, Gustav, Gustav's grandpa, Georg and Bill) we all chatted about random ideas we had for the next shows

"good evening, could we get you all started on food?" a man around my mothers age smiled pulling a note pad out and a pen

"yes can we have-" Stefan schafer, Gustav's dad began pointing to things on the menu and pointing to the people who wanted it "-perfect thank you" the man nodded collecting all the menus in and the chatter began again, me and Tom sat across from our grandmas who were on about something they'd watched on tv

"I'm bored" Tom whispered in my ear causing me to roll my eyes

"we've been here 20 minuets" he sighed falling back into his chair and his grandma seemed to notice turning to him

"Tom- whats wrong darling?" the boy sat properly again and took a swig of his drink

"nothing just hungry" he spoke watching the old women tilt her head "...I'm bored" Catrina nodded looking to me

"you have Y/n/n for company, she's a lot of fun aren't you?" I nodded my head looking to the boy who just laughed "oh actually me and Josie were just saying- we watched your interview! with that hunky man Karter, you two looked delightful, well all of you did" she grinned rubbing my hand over the table

"yeah.." Tom trailed getting comfy again, reaching arm the back of my seat and playing with the ends of my hair "we wont be going back to him in a rush"

"why not?" my gran asked "he's a handsome man"

"nothing to worry about Nanna" I spoke smiling to her, she can become a very angry women if she found out someone did anything bad to us, she'd personally hunt them down if she could.

Time passed slowly but the smell of food only made us hungrier, Toms hand had moved from my hair to my shoulder drawing a circle over and over

"and here we are-" the same waiter came over with two others holding trays of food, there was 21 of us.. we all sat straight and the small laughter of my sister caused us all to laugh, I had the pesto tortellini with Parmesan, and many also copied me

"thank you" we all said starting our meal, I dug my fork in and bought the steamy pasta to my mouth "oh wow thats amazing" I hummed putting more onto the fork, Tom looked over then to the bowl and back to me "you chose to have the chicken Schnitzel, I said about this"

"oh please!" he moaned "one bite- you can have some chips" he quickly stabbed his fork into the fries and brought them to me "come on"

"fine" I gave into his ways and took the chips and past him my fork with the pasta on the end, he hummed a quick thank you and smiled tasting the food "good right?" Tom nodded swallowing the pasta, I turned back to eating and listening to the different conversations around the table

"you know I was thinking about something" Bill began looking down to us on the table "a tv show, like filming while in rehearsals and we could go round during tours and trying things... Felix said about it" The idea of being filmed 24/7 didn't sound fantastic, I enjoy my privacy but.. if that means we get to do fun stuff..

"who'd wanna watch us though, outside of music were just boring" Gustav added "you could do a documentary about every girl Toms fucked" Gustav's mom slammed his hand making us all laugh

"at least they'd say they came unlike the girls you've done" Tom hit back making the drummer huff "but I like the idea-" Georg nodded as well but I still sat undecided

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(okay I cba to write about the restaurant but lets say, lovely meal hugs kisses etc)

"Oh why don't we go to that bar" Simone pointed out, the bars name was naughty lad and music was booming through the walls, the boys seemed intrigued looking through the steamed windows

"I think we'll head back with the grandparents, Stella is nearly asleep so could you bring Y/n back?" my mom asked passing my sister to my dad

"sure, we'll keep her safe don't worry" David, Georg's dad spoke wrapping an arm around me "you get home and relax" with a quick hug my parents got into the car and drove away leaving me with the boys and their parents which wasn't unusual, having a younger sister makes life harder to always enjoy. Together we all walked into the bar and 'hot in here' by Nelly was blasting through the speakers

"drinks?" Bill asked pulling his wallet out "Guessing a vodka coke for you?" I laughed seeing Bill roll his eyes "you need to try more- I'm getting you something else"

"Get me whatever she has!" Tom shouted to his brother who nodded walking to the rest of the group who found themselves sat at a booth "wanna smoke quickly?" I agreed feeling his hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back out the door, he went into his pocket pulling his cigarets out and handing me one with his lighter

"thank you" I chirped lighting the end and then his "I can't get over you tonight" I spoke catching myself at the end

"its alright babe, you can take it off me later" his voice turned suggestive and a smirk plastered his face "aww turning red aren't you?" his free hand cupped my jaw and I felt my knees go weak at his touch- what was he doing

"shut up-" I groaned pushing him away jokingly "I was trying to be nice and say you look good" Toms face softened and nodded along to my words

"I know, but I just love making you all red for me" he cooed putting a hand on my waist "it makes you even more beautiful" Tom leaned in, my heart started pounding in my chest, is this what he meant by being 'worse' I knew I wanted to kiss him again as he closed the distance between us, our lips just inches apart, he hesitated. With a sly grin, he pulled back, leaving the me confused "don't want to be caught do we?" I narrowed my eyes seeing him chuckle "aw did you want me to kiss you Y/n?"

"its okay, I'll find someone in there who will" his face dropped and his grip on my only tightened "maybe I'll bring them home with us?"

"mhm... I don't think so-" The boy was cut by the long haired bassist peaking his head around the door "what?"

"drinks are here" he pulled the door open wider and the two let me in first, I pushed past people dancing along to the music and trying not to get any type of liquid on my dress, finally the booth came into view and Bill sat smiling reaching for my hand I took it and he pulled me next to him

"okay drink this first then I'll tell you what it is" he shouted over the music, I turned to the drink and saw it was a radioactive green with a yellow hue, I picked up the champagne coup and brought it to my lips taking a sip

"Ugh What the fuck is that!" I called nearly heaving at the taste of something like black liquorish

"Death In The Afternoon! I thought you'd like it!" a smile creeped onto his face as he took the glass and finished it "let me get you another one!" The boy pleaded

"come on Y/n don't be boring!" Gustav laughed swigging his arm around me

"fine but I don't want that shit ever again" soon I watched the tallest twin wonder to the bar and point to something on the menu clapping his hands as the bar man turned away "oh- whats that?" I asked seeing the black haired boy smirking holding a small glass fully yellow but with some red falling into the glass, speaking of the glass it had a slice of lemon and mint dotted on top

"this is a Mai Tai" Bill said handing me the drink and watched me as I sipped at the liquid, I hummed at the taste of Malibu and orange running down my throat

"wow this is good" I drank more seeing the singer do a small dance knowing he'd defeated my 'vodka coke' love

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I sat in the booth wedged between Simone and Bill who were laughing about something stupid and I was on my 5th mai tai giggling when something funny was mentioned, I wasn't drunk but I was tipsy, I saw Simone leave the conversation and look to the dance floor "OH MY GOD!" She got up running to the floor pulling me along with her

"SIMO-" I began but then I herd it 'don't stop the music' by Rihanna start to play, ever since the song came out earlier in the year me and her loved it, we danced around with large smiles painted across our faces "I wanna take you away Let's escape into the music DJ, let it play I just can't refuse it" Simone grabbed my hand spinning me around while still belting out the lyrics "Please don't stop the music!" we finished laughing loudly and sweat running down our foreheads I looked to the booth to see them all clapping at our stupidness we took a bow and Simone went to sit down next to her boyfriend who she wrapped her arms around and kissed making her sons cringe and I decided id go sit next to Tom- we'd barley spoke since we had that smoke out side, he was sat holding a glass of clear liquid and rolling his eyes over at his brother

"hey!" I called sliding myself next to him in the booth

"hi- you okay?" I nodded my head grabbing my drink of the table and In a quick swig finishing It off "you might wanna slow down on them" the boy laughed pulling my empty glass from me but I couldn't understand a word as the music got louder around me

"what? I didn't hear you!" he rolled his eyes but quickly moved closer, the arm around my shoulder moved to hold my bare thigh as he leaned into my ear

"I said, you might wanna slow down on the mai tai" his fingers tapped on my skin causing a odd sensation I'd never felt before shiver up my body, they danced on my leg edging to go just slightly under my skirt but he stopped everytime

"oh-oh yeah... well wanna go to the bar and help me chose something different?" Tom nodded and the two of us stood back up, he grabbed my hand, closing his fingers tightly around mine and pulled me through the crowd, yanking me when I stopped, as we got to the bar he pulled me a bar stool out making me sit in front of him while he stood close behind, his stomach on my back and his one hand on my waist

"you like the fruitier cocktails right?" I nodded my head looking at the menu and something caught my eye- The Blue Hawaii, rum, vodka Blue curacao, pineapple juice and Lemon juice

"I think I want the blue Hawaii!" I looked back to the dreaded boy who nodded his head pulling his wallet out "no Tom, let me pay!" I hurried into my purse to grab the €10 I needed

"Y/n fuck off, I'm buying me and drink and you one- put the money away" he huffed grabbing my money and shoving it back into the bag "let me treat you babe" my heart ached at the words and so I let him do what he wanted and I just leaned back on him and waited to be served. The bartender finally turned to us and grabbed a bottle of something "erm can we have a blue Hawaii and a vodka cranberry, thanks" Tom handed the money over me, his chest pressing on me and his other hand back on my thighs for support

"be 5 mins" the man behind the counter said before walking off to the other side of the bar

"I need a piss, stay here don't move alright?" Tom commanded, quickly patting my head like I was some kind of dog and running to the bathroom, I sat kicking my legs watching others conversations and giggling to who ever they're with

"hey.. anyone sitting here?" I turned to a voice I'd never herd before and saw a man stood there holding a empty glass

"no! you can sit don't worry" a small laugh left him and he perched onto the chair and I finally got to see his face, He's very good looking, I couldn't help but admire his features. something about him that made him stand out from the rest, his black hair and brown eyes. His hair is perfectly styled in little waves along his head, and it shines in the light. I found myself staring to his smile. It's warm and inviting, i can't help but smile back. It's infectious.

"thanks, I'm Brandon- thought I'd introduce myself so I'm not creepy" I laugh at him as I turn to speak to him better

"oh I'm Y/n, my seat will be free soon once me and my mate have our drinks" I spoke still just admiring him, it might've been the alcohol but he was gorgeous

"shame, I'm enjoying this- little old me speaking to a beautiful girl.. I say old- I'm not I'm 19, you?"" I blushed to his words

"oh 17 but I get mixed up with being either 23 or 13 most days" he chuckled at my comment

"where you from anyways?"

"Leipzig, you?" he nodded his head

"Dresden" we kept speaking till mine and Tom's drinks arrived and I quickly grabbed them "so who are you here with?"

"just my friends and some family- celebrating coming home- actually my friend should be here soon" I looked back and I saw Tom staring at me with a scowl across his face "oh erm, he's over there so I might see you later?" I smiled grabbing the drinks off the table

"yeah sure, maybe I can get your number and we could go out for drinks?" he sounded so sweet and eyes bright with hope, but I knew I had to be careful giving my number out for security reasons and also I think Tom would kill me

"maybe yeah!" I laughed it off as I walked over to he boy who looked through me to Brandon, crossing his arms "how long were you stood watching me?" I asked passing him his drink

"long enough" his seriousness scared me, what was his issue "he really liked you didn't he? eyes wondered you like a fucking map" he spat gulping his drink basically in one

"Tom I think you're being a bit dramatic, he didn't even flirt with me" it was a partial lie as he did ask for my number...

"still-" I saw the guitarist sulk a little sipping the last of his drink and staring into the distance and that when I realised it

"are... are you jealous?" his eyes shot up to me but he didn't fight my words, and I wanted to keep pushing him "come on, you can tell me" I fluttered my eyelashes at the boy who just looked away, without thinking my hand reached for his jaw and brought his gaze back to me, I was shocked with myself but I couldn't lose my control now "look at me when I'm talking to you" I spoke closer to him in a low whisper, his eyes seemed deeper and narrower, I was doing it "you don't like it when I speak to other guys hm? don't like them looking at me, thinking of me...touching me" I let the last words roll of my tongue and I could see behind his stare he was getting angrier "talk to me pretty boy"

My hand was swatted from his face as Tom pulled me by my wrist back into the cubicles, each small individual rooms with a crappy dim light glaring into the room, hurriedly we went to the first unlocked block and slammed the door closed and he locked it with a click, my back pressed against the cold tile wall and Tom stood over me I close my eyes as his lips press against mine. His hands moved around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I could feel the heat radiating off of his body as he wrapped his arms around me. His lips soft and perfect, his breath warm on my skin. I can feel my heart racing as we move together, our bodies intertwined. His hands move higher, caressing my back as we kiss. I can feel my skin tingling with anticipation as I move my hands up his chest, exploring his body. I can feel the electricity between us, the passion rising.

"You- you are a little cunt sometimes" I feel him smile into my cheek pressing kisses into my skin "but.. fuck we both know you'd never want them...as much as you want me" I hold my breath at the feeling of him humming into my ear, my arms tangle around his neck pulling him back to my lips "god you are so desperate for me" I pull back slightly opening my eyes and seeing a smirk plastering his face

"who's the one that dragged me into here?" he tilted his head in agreement but I could wait any longer, our lips smashed back together and our bodies collided once again, hungrily I moved down to his jaw peppering the line with kisses and edged down to his neck, my lips danced around until I reached just below his ear and his grip on me tightened and a noise threatened to escape his throat, I dove back into the spot sucking and pecking at it, hearing him struggle and try pry me off

"fuck Y/n- please" he begged "shit... I-I" his stuttering made my heart swell and I pulled away to see small beads of sweat forming, I looked to his eyes and they were full of glazed tears of lust

"aw- I'm sorry, didn't you like it?" I played with a strand of his hair as he shook his head no

"I fucking loved it" his lips landed back on me as he groaned into the kiss, I smiled feeling his hands go under my thighs and lift me onto his hips, my dress pushing up revealing the red panties I put on earlier "shit you are so hot" the boy whined kissing my chest, nibbling lightly at the skin

"ah- Tom" His eyes caught mine again and smile only spread further, my hands grabbed his shoulders pushing myself up and he only toyed with me more, licking my skin that was sore from being between his teeth and small noises seeped from my mouth only pushing him further "shit... Fuck Tommy- I..." his nickname came out so naturally but in the sluttiest moan I'd ever done

" God Y/n, I don't what the first place we fuck to be in a bathroom baby, so keep that pretty little mouth quiet because you're making it so hard to keep that from happening" my heart nearly exploded out my chest, I went like putty, foreheads knocking together at his words, Tom caught my lips In one last sweet kiss and put me back onto the floor "so beautiful-" Tom whispered into my ear one last time before pulling away still holding my waist

"only for you" I smiled kissing him once more again before we stood there holding each other panting and puffy lipped

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grisastro · 2 years

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Astro Observations 2

- [ ] Aquarius moon people I’ve met, most of them act against the norm. For example, if most of their co-worker follow some stupid rules in a workplace, they won’t follow that.

- [ ] Leo stellium = strong Leo characteristics (I said Leo because it’s the most obvious one)

- [ ] Pluto trine Ascendant natal are just smooth, get along well with people and also make people feel at ease and calm when being around these natives. They are really charming and people seem to trust them even in the first meet.

- [ ] Also Pluto trine Ascendant from my experience, they don’t exude s*x appeal much. not obvious like conjunction and square ones. S*x appeal is subtle for this aspect(trine)

- [ ] I’ve noticed that some Scorpios (Rising or moon) will try to avoid holding too long eye contact when talking or interacting with people. As if they just know that if they do that, it will make people uncomfortable and intimidated by them. (Not sure tho, let me know if you do this). Also can apply to Pluto-Ascendant harsh aspects.

- [ ] Saturn in 5th house( house of creativity, hobbies etc.) from my experience, the way they express their creativity(art, writing, drawing, fashion) is more refined, well thought out, less messy, not too loud which can be either good or bad. ( I said good or bad because their work could be too analysed . It’s like they don’t express their creativity to the fullest coz they’re too careful which sometimes can be good)

- [ ] Neptune in 5th house or Venus in 12th house usually have great taste in music and films.

- [ ] Venus positive aspects to Moon natal are really caring, loving and always want to take a good care of their loved ones which is really good in a relationship.( if no negative aspects to either the moon or venus)

- [ ] Libra moon men also take a good care of their loved ones too

- [ ] If some aspects you read don’t resonate with you, it might Will one day. I started studying my birth chart and noticed something interesting, some aspects resonate well when I was younger, and some just resonate NOW. It’s about timing of your life, some will resonate once you’ve grown up or evolved!

- [ ] If you have Venus Square Pluto in a really tight orb, I know that you may be jealous and possessive. Not only that, you also ATTRACT envious, jealous people too, either friends, coworkers, lovers. I don’t know how to explain this but it is what it is, it’s your energy.

- [ ] Also Venus square Pluto, what you need to learn in order to have a great relationship is that you have to let go of what you can’t control and love yourself more. ( This is why we study our birth chart. To fix what needs to be fixed in ourself, agree?)

- [ ] No offend, but Mercury Square Ascendant people, if undeveloped, you will annoy people with the way you communicate, you make people feel like your words are against them even if you don’t intend to. You really need to think before you speak, your tone of voice and choice of words are the keys.

- [ ] Once again, Not all Leo Rising are attention seeker. BUT they just attract attention.

- [ ] Most of my Leo rising friends are an introvert.

- [ ] If someone has an intense gaze, they don’t have to be a Scorpio Rising. It can be any rising. Look to the aspects to Ascendant(especially harsh ones to Mars, Pluto, Saturn)

- [ ] But if talking about great deep hypnotic eyes, yeah that’s when you can assume that they are Scorpio rising. Not always though.

- [ ] Pisces Rising has a watery, dreamy eyes. I love that!

- [ ] If you have kitty asteroid conjunct Ascendant, you may act like a kitty only when you are with your boyfriend/girlfriend. ( this is me, how about you?)

#astro observations #astrology houses #astrology observations #astrology community #asteroid astrology #astro community #astro notes #leo rising #scorpio #scorpio rising #pisces #pisces rising #aquarius moon #aquarius #astology #ascendant #ascendant aspects #Pluto trine Venus #venus square pluto

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im-a-marvel-ous-hoe · 5 months

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Secret Santa | Bucky Barnes (5th Day of 🎄)

(Credits to the owner of this pic!)

We’re almost half way there! I hope I’m not boring you guys 😅 ya girl had a lot of fun writing this one!

Christmas Masterlist <- check out my other holiday fics!

~~~~

Christmas is one of the most wonderful times of the year. It’s a time to be with family, friends and the people who love you. It’s a time where people give back to those in need. It’s a time where the world seems like there’s magic in the air.

It’s also a time where one can express their true feelings towards a special someone.

Though that seems like it’s easier said than done.

My fear of rejection has always held me back ever since I first met you. You have always been so constant and loyal and patient and loving… It's no wonder why I fell for you. You are a true beauty, anyone with common sense could see that. I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to tell you how I feel ever since I realized how important you became to me.

Every year, Tony likes to throw a big Christmas party filled with multiple people who I don’t really care so much for, if I’m being completely honest. Soon right after that event, he’ll throw a small one reserved for family and friends only. There, is where we have our annual Secret Santa and every year I’ve been waiting to draw up your name.

This year, I finally did.

I held onto your box carefully in my hand, making sure I don’t accidentally misplace it while I anxiously fidgeted with my free one as I looked for you in the small crowd. I spotted Steve and Nat chatting at the mini bar while she served him a drink. Bruce was too busy talking to Tony about some new science experiment he’s been working on and wanted his input. Sam chatted away with Thor while playing a losing game of darts against Clint. Why he chose to go against him, I’ll never know.

It seemed like everywhere I looked, the one person I wanted to see wasn’t there. I bit my bottom lip as my eyes continued to search around the room.

“She’s not here yet.”

“Yeah, I know I just – …” I looked to my right and saw Wanda standing next to me, a knowing smile on her face. “Who are you talking about?” She just chuckled and raised a quick eyebrow. “You know who.. Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Your thoughts were just so loud and I had to come over and help quiet them down.”

I bowed my head in embarrassment. “Sorry.” She shook her head. “Don’t be. It’s kinda cute seeing the White Wolf fawn over a girl.” My head lifted back up quickly as she continued. “We never get to see this side of Bucky. It’s a nice pace from the constant brooding and staring contests you and Sam get into.”

“We do not – ”

“Yes you do, but that’s besides the point. Your girl isn’t here yet so I took the liberty of calling her and asking where she was before coming to talk to you. She’s a few minutes away.” She gave me a small smile as I returned one back to her. “So um with that being said.. how long have you..?”

She held her hand up to stop me from talking. “A while. You’re not exactly quiet or subtle with your thoughts.” My face must’ve been crimson red as she just laughed. “Oh my God..” I covered my face with my hand and shook my head. “I am so sorry about that.. um.. you – you haven’t – ”

“Don’t worry, Bucky. I haven’t told anyone, so your secret is safe with me.” She made a motion of locking her lips with her fingers and throwing away the key. “It’s not mine to tell anyway.”

“Thank you.”

She glanced around the room and softly hummed to herself. My thoughts must’ve been too loud and now I’m just paranoid at how long she has heard me. “I didn’t say anything before because one, I wanted to spare you the embarrassment and two, I was too busy freaking out about the fact that you’re in love with my best friend and I’ve been wanting you two to get together since forever.”

I laughed at the absurdity and held your gift close to my chest. “I’m not sure what to say. I’m embarrassed either way.” She turned her head towards the entrance and smiled. “You should fix your tie, Mr. Barnes. Ms. Y/L/N is straight ahead.” I followed her gaze and felt the literal wind get knocked out of me.

There you stood in a dark red dress that hugged your curves perfectly. The v-neck accentuating your assets in the best way possible and the way your hips swayed side to side as you walked more confidently my way made my brain short circuit. You look absolutely breathtaking. “You got this, Bucky. I’m rooting for you.” Wanda spoke as she left my side to meet you halfway to greet you in a hug.

I watched as the two of you started a short conversation. My gaze drifted up and down your figure. You seemed to outshine all of Tony’s expensive decorations as you chatted away with your friend. I guess you seemed to notice the way my feet were glued to the floor and you suddenly made your way in front of me.

“Hey, you.” You smiled and opened your arms, your gift bag swinging back and forth in your hand. “Hey, doll.” I smiled and embraced you in my arms, your perfume overwhelming my senses and becoming intoxicating. I want to dive my face deeper into your neck until I can figure out that sweet scent of yours.

God, what is it you wear that makes you smell so heavenly?

Pulling away, I noticed the gift in your hand. I motioned over to the bag and asked, “Who’s it for?” You lifted it up and proudly smiled to yourself. “Okay, don’t tell, but it’s for Thor. For a guy who’s so easily amused by everything, it was surprisingly difficult to find something.” You looked down at the box in my hand and pointed. “How about you? Who’s your secret Santa?”

“Uhh haha it’s.. It’s a secret.” I watched as your mouth hung open in surprise and couldn’t help but chuckle. “What? That’s not fair! I told you who I got.”

“That’s on you for answering! The whole point of a Secret Santa is to keep it a secret.” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms above your chest. “I can keep a secret!” I hummed and shook my head. “Apparently you can’t.” I laughed and looked down at the box in my hand. “And besides, this gift is going to someone really.. special.”

I missed the way your face slightly fell by me being too busy looking at the gift that’s actually meant for you. “Well, I’m sure whoever it is, will love it.” Noticing the slight change in your tone, I glanced up and saw you smile up at me. “I know I would.” I could feel my heart wanting to beat out of my chest at the thought of you opening your gift and you finally realizing how I feel.

I quickly glanced at the box and debated if I should just tell you that it’s yours, before Thor made his way over to us and greeted you in a giant bear hug. “Miss Y/N! You finally made it!” You laughed in his embrace as you hugged him back. “I was beginning to think you would be too late to try any of the Asgardian deserts I brought with me. The tiny human of ants seems to enjoy them.’

“Oh, well if Scott is eating, I better quickly grab something before it’s all gone.” You smiled as you turned your attention back to me. “I’ll see you later?” I nodded and smiled, raising my hand up as if to say ‘go’. “Yeah, sure. Of course. You’ll know where to find me.” She nodded and followed after Thor. “Of course, I can’t help myself too and have eaten more than I’d like to say.”

“Okay, now I definitely need to grab something before you eat the rest!” Your laughter faded away as I stayed rooted in place. I know you’re friends with everyone here and I would never tell you who you can and can’t hang out with, but a selfish part of me just wanted one evening where we wouldn’t be interrupted and I could just tell you everything. The weight of the box in my hand suddenly felt heavier than before.

I sighed and made my way over to the mini bar. I sat the present on the counter next to me and looked up at Nat. “What’ll ya have, soldier?” She asked and raised an eyebrow. “Just a beer, thanks.” I leaned my head against my hand as I kept my gaze on the counter. She placed the opened bottle in front of me and I reached for it and took a swing.

“You doin’ alright there?” She asked once I placed the glass bottle down. “Mmm..”

“Very talkative tonight, are we?” She sighed and placed her hands on the counter, leaning forward. “What’s up?” I met her gaze and sat up. “Nothin’. Nothin’ I just.. it’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” She stated and tilted her head to the side. “Does your brooding have anything to do with a certain long red dressed girl sharing a whatever that is Thor brought?” I pinched my eyebrows together. “What are you talking about?”

“Your crush on Y/N.” She said simply as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “How do you know about that? Wanda swore she wouldn’t tell anyone!”

“She didn’t.”

“I didn’t.”

I heard two different voices at the same time as Wanda sat down on the seat next to me and Nat stood, smirking. “I figured it out on my own.”

“Oh c’mon..” I groaned and took another gulp of my beer. “You, sir, outed yourself.” Wanda spoke while holding her hands up as if to say it’s not her fault.

“So, now that that’s established, I’m gonna go out on a wild limb here and say that based on how close you’re keeping that gift box of yours near you, she’s your Secret Santa?”

“Nat, please, don’t overanalyze me. It’s bad enough Wanda knows my exact thoughts on how I feel. I don’t need you to tease me about it.”

“Hey, I’m not Tony or Sam. I won’t tease you about it ‘til the end of the earth” She joked. “I know how to keep my mouth shut.” I looked to my side and saw Thor’s arms around you, clearly enjoying and thanking you for your gift as you smiled against him. Seeing how happy you looked with him made me second guess if I should just quickly run out to go find something else to give you.

What if my gift was too personal?

“You have nothing to worry about, Buck. Trust me. Because it’ll be from you, I just know we’ll be hearing about it for weeks.”

That’s kind of what I’m afraid of.

Wanda nudged my shoulder and smiled. “C’mon Barnes, Steve told us how much of a charmer you were back in the days. You tellin’ us you can’t sweet talk our Y/N and show her your fun flirty side that I know is deep down inside?”

I chuckled nervously and shook my head. “Heh I – I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I’ve asked someone out on a date.”

They both shared a look that made me feel like I was out of the loop on some kind of inside joke. They seemed to be having a whole conversation in their heads as I sat in between them. Nat's eyes motioned over to me as Wanda tilted her head at me and I suddenly felt like I was being watched and very much exposed.

“You know, you’re both acting as if I can’t tell you’re talking about me.” I raised an eyebrow as Nat waved me off. I chuckled to myself and brought your present closer to me. I know my gift isn’t much and I might make a fool out of myself, but it was give me so much pride to see you show off –

“She won’t reject you.” I looked up at Wanda and furrowed my eyebrows together. “Just.. trust me. She won’t turn you away, in fact she might be very flattered and is dying for you to do something and, oh I don’t know.. make a move?” My eyes slightly widened as I looked back and forth between her and Nat as she just nodded her head.

My gaze found you leaving Thor’s arms and walking over to the back door, opening it and disappearing behind it. “Merry Christmas, Bucky.” Wanda said as I stood up, getting ready to go towards you before stopping my movements as something clicked in my head.

“You..?” She nodded her head. “I couldn’t figure out what to physically give you and I couldn’t go another day hearing you two pine over each other. So I thought of the next best thing, giving you the confidence to go get your girl is the best gift I could give you.” I gave her a smile as she swatted her hand back and forth as if to push me away and laughed. “I can’t wait another minute. Go!”

I quickly grabbed your present and started walking backwards. I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face. “Thank you, Wanda! I owe you big time!” She waved me off as I turned around and made my way towards the door you just walked out of a few moments ago.

I firmly held the box in my hand and took a deep breath. I reached for the door handle and opened it, leaving the warm atmosphere of people chatting away while soft Christmas music played in the background and followed you outside.

The sound of the door opening and closing caught your attention as you quickly turned to see who now stood out here in the open with you. “Bucky.” You smiled at me. “What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask you the same thing..” I slowly walked closer and noticed small goosebumps on your skin as you tried to ignore the cold air. You hugged yourself, trying to keep warm as the wind blew your hair away from your face. “.. Coming out here without a jacket. Don’t you know how cold New York gets during winter?”

I unbuttoned my jacket as you shook your head, holding your hand up as if to stop me. “Bucky, no. I’m fine, really.” I slipped off my sleeve and switched the present to the opposite hand to slip off the remaining sleeve. “Mm-mmm, if my momma could see me now and see that I didn’t offer up my jacket to a beautiful girl to keep warm, she’d smack me on the back of my head and tell me off.” I chuckled and placed my blazer on top of your shoulders.

You brought it closer to your body and softly smiled at me. I can’t quite tell if the pink on your cheeks is from me or the cold, but I’d like to think it had somethin’ to do with what I just did. I couldn’t help the giddy feeling I had in the pit of my stomach of you wearing something of mine. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

“What if you get cold?”

“Doll, don’t you worry about me one bit. I’ll be okay, I promise you.”

We both smiled at each other as you gripped onto my jacket to help shield you from the cold. “By the way, you didn’t answer my question earlier. What are you doin’ out here?”

“Well, Thor suggested we bring out the karaoke machine and I needed to find a way out from embarrassing myself.” You laughed as you turned to look out at the night sky. The moon seemed to shine against your skin, highlighting how soft your features are. It makes you look like a goddess, that you’re too beautiful to even look at.

“Ahh, we wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

“Tony would’ve recorded it and had blackmail over my head for years! Poor Thor, doesn’t realize what he’s gonna get himself into.”

I laughed and wondered if anyone is tipsy enough to join in or if it’s gonna be a solo concert by our one and only God of Thunder. Here’s hoping he at least has a decent voice. “Ahh, he’ll be okay. He’ll have fun regardless.”

You softly hummed as you took a quick peek at my hand and noticed the present I’ve still yet to give. “I um.. I actually saw you walk out and was wondering if I could steal a little bit of your time? Without any interruptions.” You looked up at me and smiled. “Well… it looks like it’s just the two of us out here. I don’t think anyone is gonna come outside into the cold.”

“You did.”

“That’s besides the point.” You laughed and subtly glanced down at the present once more before meeting my gaze. “Somethin’ you wanna talk about?” I cleared my throat and raised my arm up to scratch the back of my neck. “Yeah, actually um.. I’d say it’s pretty important considering it’s about you.”

“Oh? Okay uh.. what’s goin’ on?”

I took in a shaky breath and held up the box in my hand, extending my arm towards you and watched your eyes slowly widen. “Merry Christmas, doll.” You hesitantly reached for the box and looked down at the pretty wrapping before tilting your head and meeting my eyes.

“Me?”

I nodded.

“You.”

You softly smiled and started unwrapping your gift, the sound of the paper ripping made me hold my breath in anticipation as I watched your reaction once you popped the small box open. Your lips parted as you took in my gift and I waited for any sign of discomfort or disappointment. You reached in and pulled out my dog tags, your thumb running along the metal engraved with my name.

“Bucky..”

“You’re always playing with them whenever I’m not wearing it and.. and I saw you slip it on once when you thought I wouldn’t notice. I just thought.. I thought that maybe you’d like to keep them safe for me.”

You stayed silent as you continued looking at my necklace in your hand. I tried analyzing your reaction, but my nerves wouldn’t let me be rational and my mind went straight to you not liking your gift. Suddenly feeling very exposed and cold, I quickly tried to rush out apologies if your present wasn’t something you would want.

“I’m sorry if it’s kinda shitty. I just figured you’d want it since.. I can just take it back and get you something else if that’s what you – ”

“No!”

I went to reach for the necklace but stopped in my movements at your sudden exclaim. My necklace held tightly in your hands against your chest, your body slightly turned away as if to protect it from being taken away.

“I – I mean..” You looked down at the piece of jewelry in your hands and held it up so it now dangled in front of the both of us as I waited to see what you would do. “I’m known to keep things safe..” You bent your head down and slipped the necklace on, as it now lay nestled against your chest.

You looked down and reached your hands up to it once again as you smiled. “Especially when it’s something as special as this.”

I smiled, finally feeling a sense of warmth spread across my face as I watched you admire something of mine and wearing it with pride. I slowly walked closer to you and lifted my left hand up, reaching for the necklace. My fingers ran through my engraved name, metal meeting metal, and softly smiled looking up at you.

“It looks better on you.”

I watched as your eyes crinkled with happiness in them and your smile continued to grow as I let it fall back against your chest. I reached up and pushed a strand of your hair away and placed it behind your ear as your head tilted towards my hand. I hesitantly held it centimeters away from your cheek as you lifted your hand to place on top of mine, bringing it down so I could feel you against me.

I watched you hold onto me and close your eyes, sighing in content. I slowly rubbed my thumb against your cheek as I studied every feature on your face, not sure when or if I would get this opportunity again. We were standing so close that I was almost so sure you could hear my heart beating erratically against my chest. “If you’re gonna kiss me, Barnes, you should do it before the moments’ gone.”

My lips parted in surprise as your pretty little eyes opened and met mine. I saw you glance at my lips for a moment as you slowly leaned your body in closer towards mine. I bent my head down and brought your face closer to mine. Your breath fanned against my cheek as you fluttered your eyes closed, letting out a soft, “Please..”

Who am I to deny you a kiss?

I closed the distance between us and connected our mouths together, your cold lips finally meeting mine and everything felt like it was slowly falling into place. Your body fit so perfectly in my arms and your perfume engulfed my senses once again. My shoulders raised up slightly in surprise once you brought your hands up to the side of my face and reached behind my neck, bringing me closer to you.

“Mmm..” I moaned against you when I felt your fingers comb through my hair and gave it a slight tug. You smiled into our kiss and held me there, as if there was any other place I’d rather be right now. I slid my hands down to your back and felt the fabric of my jacket you still had on.

I couldn’t feel the cold breeze blowing against me or hear the music coming from inside Tony’s house. I couldn’t focus on anything but you. Now that I finally got a taste of your lips, I knew I was in trouble. You slowly pulled away as my lips chased after yours, not wanting this moment to end just yet. You let out a giggle and pressed one more kiss before leaning back so you could look at me.

“Wow… merry Christmas to me.” You laughed and rolled your eyes. “Oh my God..”

I looked at your lips and felt myself wanting to go in once more so I could feel you again, but before I could lean in, you lifted your hand up and placed your finger against my lips. “We should head back inside. You may be okay out here in the cold, but I am not.” You chuckled as I lifted my hand up to grab yours and puckered my lips, giving your finger a little kiss.

“I could always find a way to keep you warm.”

“Bucky..!” You blushed and turned your face away from me as I laughed and held you close to me. “Okay, okay, okay..” I smiled and held your hand in mine, intertwining our fingers together as I looked down at my dog tags around your neck. Warmth spread all over my chest at the thought of you walking back in and showing off your gift to everyone. “C’mon doll, let’s head back inside.”

You held onto my jacket tightly against you as we both walked back inside, hand in hand. “In case I wasn’t clear earlier about my gift..” You spoke right after I closed the door behind us. “I really love it.”

“And in case I wasn’t clear about my intentions earlier..” I smiled and brought your hand up to my lips, placing a sweet kiss on top. “I would love to be able to call you mine..”

You smiled back at me and nodded.

I don’t care how much teasing I’ll get from Sam or Tony because in the end, I got the best gift I could ever get.

“I would love that.”

I got you.

~~~~

I hope y’all liked it! Please let me know your thoughts! Likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes christmas #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky barns x reader #marvel blog #marvel christmas #🎄✨🎄✨

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voylitscope · 21 days

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CA: TWS 10th Anniversary Ficlets (Day 8)

Daily ficlets for the CA: TWS 10th Anniversary Event @catws-anniversary. With Huge thanks to @sparkagrace and @cable-knit-sweater for running this wonderful event! 💞

Steve thinks his new apartment is haunted. He hasn’t told anyone else anyone about it.

He guesses he maybe should.

But he’s got a whole list of reasons not to. The list starts with how he’s not completely sure he’s just imagining it all —that most of it hasn’t been dreams. It ends with the way he’s afraid that if he’s right —

If he’s right, well, then, he’s afraid talking about it might make it stop. And the last thing Steve wants to do is scare away the occasional presence in his apartment.

It’s too scarce as it is. It’d been barely perceptible at first. Objects in places that weren’t quite right. A shadow there and gone before Steve could blink. The feeling of being watched — so real it made Steve’s skin flush, but without a source he could find when he turned around.

A little more solid, sometimes, in more recent weeks. The sound of his own name in late hours, but with no response when Steve’d tried to answer. A bottle of water and some pills on his nightstand the morning after he’d returned from a mission that’d had left him bruised and exhausted.

(The pain and injuries were gone by the time Steve woke up, but he’d said a thank you out loud before taking a sip of water, anyway.)

Steve’s even gotten a couple full glimpses. A single second of a flash of movement from a figure that hadn’t stopped when Steve called to it. A half second of the most familiar eyes in the world locked on Steve’s but then disappearing before Steve could recover from the shock of it.

All of those moments could have been dreams — could have been entirely in Steve’s head.

He doesn’t know what do, even if they’re not.

(He doesn’t know how to figure out what his ghost wants.)

Until, on Steve’s birthday, his haunting turns into a full-fledged ghost story.

(Unless it’s a dream.)

It’s late, and he’s been home for a while. It’s late enough that it’s probably nearly the 5th now, and Steve’s been meaning to stop drawing, get out of the chair in his living room, and head to bed for at least an hour.

It’s soft musics that finally make him put down his pencil. The song is playing at a low enough volume that, for a second, Steve thinks the sound is coming from the street or a neighbor —

But then he recognizes it. Steve hasn’t heard this song in about 70 years..

Steve’s heart is pounding as tries to run his eyes over every inch of his apartment. .

“Bucky?” His voice comes out in a whisper.

He’s never gotten an answer. There’ve been no conversations during this haunting.

Until now.

“Made you a promise,” Bucky’s voice says. Steve still can’t see him. “Didn’t I?”

“A promise?” Steve echoes, standing up.

Bucky emerges from shadows in Steve’s hall that shouldn’t have been large or dark enough to hide him. He’s wearing a button down shirt and jeans. His hair his pulled back at his neck. He’s somehow looking right at Steve without really meeting his eyes. He looks calm. He looks terrified and skittish. He smiles at Steve and it’s unsure and hesitant and heartbreaking and beautiful.

And Steve feels like he can’t breath.

“Think I told you that if we both made it to your next birthday we’d have to dance. I figured this counted,” Bucky says. Then he frowns and pulls his eyes away. He looks like he might fold right back into the shadows. “Maybe I didn’t.”

“You did,” Steve says. He nods, and he waits for Bucky to look back at his face. Then Steve holds out his hand.

For a few seconds, Steve’s certain that Bucky’s about to disappear or that he’s about to wake up.

But Bucky nods, too, and he puts his flesh hand into Steve’s before taking a few steps toward him. It brings them close together — close enough to dance.

Steve moves slowly. He’s still so sure he’s about to ruin this somehow.

But Bucky stays when Steve wraps an arm around his waist. And Bucky’s arms end up around Steve’s neck. And they both take small, tentative steps that bring them even nearer to each other.

And they together dance to a song Steve hasn’t heard since 1945.

And he can hear Bucky breathing and the beating of Bucky’s heart.

Steve wants to pull Bucky in closer and beg him to stay. He wants to ask him if this real. He wants Bucky to assure him this isn’t a dream or a ghost story at all.

He wants to ask Bucky if he’s okay — where’s been, where he stays, where he goes, what else he remembers — Steve wants to ask him a thousand things.

He wants to kiss him.

Steve’s almost sure that doing any one of those things would ruin this moment — could maybe make Bucky stay away for a long, long time.

So he simply feels the heat of Bucky’s body, and Bucky’s hands on him, and Bucky in his arms, and he dances.

And when he music stops, he says,

“Buck —" and he’s not surprised when Bucky shakes his head.

But he is surprised when he gets one final response.

“Happy birthday, Steve.” Bucky says, hands gone from Steve before Steve can blink, back across the floor and halfway into those shadows before Steve’s taken a couple breathes.

“Thanks for the dance,” Steve calls. He doesn’t get a reply to that, but he hopes Bucky heard it.

He hopes next time, if there is a next time, will be soon. Steve hopes the haunting of his apartment keeps on increasing.

(He hopes he’s not asleep on that chair in his living room right now.)

He’s still not planning to tell anyone about this. Not yet, anyway. Steve wants to keep this one to himself for a while.

(They’d always planned on that birthday dance being a secret, anyway.)

(Ficlets Tumblr-exclusive until all are complete.)

#CATWS10 #SteveBucky #Stucky fic #My Fic #My Writing #This one got a little long on me. But I really wanted the romantic dancing. So.#MCU

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cupidastrology · 5 months

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the life of libra ♥ positive & charming side of planet venus˚⁀➷

do not repost or copy my work.

let's talk about the very indepth yet calming libra, the charming and feminine side of planet venus ︎ ♀︎.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

libra is known to be the light and significator of planet venus, which is known as the planet of love and romance. in these areas of life and existence, love and romance is the highest form of connectivity and understanding. it is what brings people, things, places, energies, and anything that all live together.

persuasion is a huge significator for planet venus. it is also the highlight for manipulation, seduction, and envy. venus doesn't have any issue with using their charm to get revenge, desire, and what they want. this energy is clever and its manipulative in ways that range from negative to powerful.

when we look to libra, we may see an energy that is full of pinks, is finicky, and very girlish. in reality libra is the total opposite; being the bright light of planet venus libras use their arts and creativity to express their wants and needs. there is never violence but a sense of shaking things up in groups and social worlds in passive ways.

libra is a cardinal, air sign that is okay with starting brand new things if its to get what they want. they're not a direct communicator but someone that uses methods of wording (romantic photos, drawings, or love notes) to express themselves to others.

due to there cardinal nature, they are inclined to always feel the need to be prepared rather than go straight into impulsivity like their counterpart aries.

libra is represented as the justice system, books on the law, rules, scales, the buttocks, the low back, the pancreas, the kidneys, and the back.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

libra through the 12 houses ⚘

libra in the 1st house: you may be seen as generous, persuasive, and seductive to your peers. there is alot of injustice and law related functions happening in your home town or neighborhood. jealousy and envy may have been surrounding you since your youth. lots of admirers, gossip, and drama in friend groups.

libra in the 2nd house: you attract peers and are very persuasive around gifts and what you desire. youre able to get what you want easily and use your voice to bring forth your wants or needs. attraction towards perfumes, music, and the creative arts creates an instant emotional connection that is hard to pull away from.

libra in the 3rd house: you do well in legal pleasures and high court situations. its important you have balance and stability in your connections in life. your childhood may have consisted of drama, gossip, and being the meditator is others issues. youre able to connect with creative arts in ways where you can use social media to express these ideas or creations. getting involved with fashion is a bi step.

libra in the 4th house: you have a family or household that is of the arts, gossip, and petty drama. there is always something happening in your household, mainly having to do with what is said. you may pursue the law or feel pressured to connect with the legal system due to possible family members involved. this is a position that works with balance and stability. the father is a big issue.

libra in the 5th house: love and sex are huge themes when it comes to this position. your art style or desires are heavily coated in femininity but you also have no issue wanting balance in the way you express yourself. this is the home of confidence and self expression in for of creativity so you may want to always show yourself in a loving but confident way. there is no issue with meditating situations but drama can occur easily with doing so here.

libra in the 6th house - your health may constantly in touch with what you desire in life; you need to learn to balance your wants and needs before just choosing to indulge. liquids and the amount of things may be an issues if you're not careful with how you intake these subjects. getting into the political field or the world of law and crime may be a hobby but could also be a talent that becomes a job.

libra in the 7th house - you are involved in your engagements, though you may be into the gossip train tad much. you want to focus on the relationships you make in life, it is important that where you make choices there is so much peace. you have a knack for expressing any disagreements in pliant ways, always knowing how to convince another in conversation.

libra ♎︎ in the 8th house - you are studious and often not sure about where money sits in your life. you hide so many secrets to peoples' issues and dramas, and have the ways of using it to gain the upper hand. it is important that you are focused on what choices you make, and what contracts you are signing with the world of beauty.

libra ♎︎ in the 9th house - you are diplomatic in the world of religion and may not always be bound to one belief. you are around many that are not exactly in touch with the root of belief, but then you are able to see the reality for those that are in love with it. you have a desire for romance associated with a higher power, and may want to understand the love of the occult through education.

libra ♎︎ in the 10th house - you are seen as both sensuous and dramatic, in scales of calm and deceiving all at the same time. many people enjoy the gossip due to jealousy or intimidation by you, but your silence can speak many words. you may have to focus on how you see yourself in the world around you, especially your career.

libra ♎︎ in the 11th house - friends and peers admire you, but may have to deal with much jealousy and challenge issues. there is desire to connect, so you may come across all types of people but their issues hang in front of you very closely. you will have to always be aware of what crowd you're involved in .

libra ♎︎ in the 12th house - a hardship in relating to others, and having to constantly create just for your own enjoyment. this is where self care and self love is majorly important, because neglect comes in from a deep place. dont be afraid to love yourself, and to show the love into something solid and long term. you may have issues with romance, but healing with love is most required.

#astrology #aries #libra #taurus #virgo #pisces #aquarius #astrology signs #capricorn #astrology readings #sagittarius mercury #sagittarius sun #sagittarius rising #sagittarius

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randomblack-girl · 1 year

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Capricorn placements love cracking their bones

Venus in the 3rd might be good at drawing, have pretty hands, or pretty handwriting

Capricorn/Saturn rising men might have really nice bodies and work out probably have muscles

Moon in the 8th house might show cleavage or they should because it looks good. They might also be protective of their body/insecure about it probably try to hide it not the type to let just anyone get in their pants

Venus in the 5th house might have pretty hair, love their hair, or love doing hair. Might be very talented at it. For people attracted to women you might really love their hair.

They might also love to buy makeup, Skincare, etc anything that makes them more beautiful

As a venus in the fifth house in pisces person I LOVE anything beauty related I could stay in stores and the beauty isles forever and my jupiter in the first house probably also amplifies my need and want to be beautiful. I also had this fear of seeming vapid because of my interest in beauty (just putting this out here to see it ppl relate 😭)

I have chiron, medusa, and nessus in the 3rd house (medusa in capricorn and the other two in aquarius) and I always hated "jokes" like yk those mean ones then they say they're "joking" especially if it's by groups of ppl because it makes me feel like I'm getting picked on 🙃 and my 8th house moon isn't helping, like I'm sensitive 😭.

No fr though I hate when people do that then they gaslight you by calling you sensitive-

And as a pisces venus, yes I'm delusional...mind your business. I'll like a guy and tell myself he likes me back knowing damn well we never talked and it's all in my head and me wanting him to like me. And yes I'm doing it rn 😍😍 (the tarot cards says he likes me back).

Gemini suns/placements are the definition of quirky. But I noticed there's different types there's the more serious ones (Kanye West) and the more goofy and talkative ones- my bestfriend (she's a gemini rising) and Hailey Elizabeth on YouTube (I love her sm).

I heard that the sign on your 8th and 12th sign are the signs you don't like but that's not the case for me libra was my favorite sign at first and maybe I like geminis because I'm a gemini moon? Idk tell me yall experience

Girl my pisces dominance, sun in the 7th house, and Neptune square sun got me fighting for my life and my sense of identity like how am I supposed to know who I am with everyone's contradicting opinions of me and my unability to trust myself and my own opinion of myself!?!?

This might be obvious but scorpio and aries placements can be very defensive

Pluto in the 2nd house might be greedy especially with food

For people with chiron harshly aspecting their asc how's that self esteem?

Gemini placements have such a fun carefree energy and a lot of it, very energetic

Sorry about the very late post 😭

#astro observations #astrology #neptune #gemini #pisces venus #capricorn

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beyonsatan · 6 months

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We need to discuss sex in astrology girlies (will be debunking a few things and will also mention r*pe) 🤒

So let’s first go over what Mars and Venus rule in modern astrology

Venus - relationships, Art, beauty

Mars - sex, aggression, war, passion

Now let’s take a look at what significations these two planets have in Hellenistic astrology which is based in ancient cultures and spiritualities like Indian, Greek and middle eastern thousands of years ago before any social constructs were even able to plague our society

Venus - Marriage, Gold, jewelry, Sex, Pregnancy and love of children, pleasure seeking, intimacy, fun, art, wealth, good fortune, socializing, sweets. gets meaning from the 5th house

Mars - Conquest, Enemies, Separation, Abuse Celibacy, Action, War, danger, Injuries, Death, Sickness, Slaves, labor, evil play, hatred, bad fortune. Gets meaning from the 6th house

Now here’s some background as followed….

Modern astrology was invented in the 1900’s so themes of Christianity and Patriarchy had every opportunity before then to instill some of its values into the practice. the REASON why modern astrology keeps associating mars and Scorpio with sex is because Scorpio rules over the genitals but it only rules over the genitals and not sex at all in traditional astrology. We keep associating the planet of conquest that is mars with sex because we have been taught by a patriarchal and puritanical society to view sex as something that should only be done in secret, is hidden and/or otherwise taboo. When you associate the planet of “conquest” mars that is malefic dominant, wrong-doing, unethical, consumes wastefully and against the good will of others with intercourse, sex then sounds like something that’s exploitative and nonconsensual. Let’s imagine mars did rule sex which it objectively does not, rape would then be a huge theme of that. Mars in general does rule assault but there is nothing amorous and consenting about the red planet. You’re probably thinking to yourself “well patriarchy is at minimum 6000 years old” and you’re absolutely right, patriarchal values are really old but many ancient and indigenous societies had faiths and beliefs that transcended these values and this is what ancient astrology draws from.

I often talk with scorpios and mars ruled people who become frustrated every time at the thought of them being hypersexualized because of their sign and just overall not feeling like a sexual person at all so hopefully this brought some confirmation to any of you mars ruled or dominant people out there.

Hope this helps xx

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mxcnliight · 1 year

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studies & sluts (jjk)

who knew all-star baseball player jeon jungkook would be fucking his tutor on a Thursday night

Pairing: Baseball player!Jungkook x Fem!Reader. Theme: One-Shot; college au, SMUT, PWP, fluff, crack (a bit), angst (tiny bit) Word Count: 6.1K Warnings: smug jk; hot jk; sexual tension; dirty talk; swearing; fingering; (f receiving); p in v penetration; unprotected sex + creampie (use a CONDOM)

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The lights shine through the window of your classroom. You’re in 4th period, English. You sigh while putting your head into your head, the class feels like it’s been dragging ever since you started working on your assignment. You had a multiple choice of a passage you have previously read, your teacher was making sure everybody had read the passage before you came into class. Typical teacher things, you feel a pair of eyes staring at you. You look over and see one of your classmates staring at you, Jeon Jungkook. The star of the baseball team who you have known since kindergarten,but he wasn’t always this popular. He was quite shy in his previous grades, he was always trying something new, one thing he did often was draw. Ever since high school started he was in a bunch of clubs and sports, because of that he became popular. Girls fawn over him 24/7 and you were one of them. Sure you didn’t show it but you had the biggest crush on him ever since 5th grade. You tried to get close to him and maybe even get to know him but your chances were taken by multiple girls in your grades. That was until recently, you found out that Jungkook barely studies for tests, and doesn’t care for school at all. Because of this his baseball coach told him if he didn’t study hard enough and get good grades he would be kicked off the team. He was pretty mad about that but he soon got over it. You run as a tutor for the school to get some extra cash along with babysitting and your regular retail job. Once Jungkook found out you ran as a tutor he asked you if you could tutor him. You were shocked at first because, 1 the Jeon Jungkook was asking you to tutor him and 2nd you two barely even talk to each other. You accepted though even beginning, as shocked as you were and you started to tutor him. You were a bit skeptical at first because Jungkook was known for fooling around with girls and not paying them but he did the opposite of what you expected. You guys would tutor once a week on Thursday’s a 4 pm and after the session was done he paid you. He was a regular for you now and you got to know him a lot better than you thought you did. You would even say you guys were friends based on the amount of time you spent together. You focus back onto Jungkook as he looks away. You hear you teacher telling you to turn in your papers and you do so. Once the class was done you talked to you friend before going to your next class. You felt a presence come towards you and you look up to see Jungkook. He holds the strap of his backpack in his hand and purses his lips. He then looks away, “Studying tonight again?” He asks. You give him a confused face, why is he being all different suddenly? He knows when we study, “Um yeah…. 4pm again?” “NO-“ He butts in and I look at him in confusion. His loud answer made everybody around us look at us. Your face heats up in embarrassment and you look away. “8 pm my house, I’ll text you the details' ' He says under his breath and he walks out of the classroom. You look away from him and look back at your friend and she asks “What was that all about?” You shrug your shoulders and look back at the classroom door.

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It was currently 7:45 pm, you were in your room, sitting at your desk. You were studying for a Chemistry test you had before going over to Jungkook’s. His place wasn’t far from yours ever since you moved out of your parents house and got your apartment. You sigh and look at your phone, he was supposed to text you once he was ready but it doesn’t look like he is… at least yet. You were about to set your phone down once you got a text message.

Jungkook: Hey, I’m ready now, sorry it took me so long. Come over when you’re ready.

Y/N: you’re fine!! I’ll be over in a sec

You turn off your phone and get up from your desk. You then go into your bathroom and brush your teeth and brush your hair. You then get out of your pajamas and throw on some casual but comfortable clothes. You then grab your book bag and make it downstairs. You get into your slides and grab your coat from the coat rack. You throw it on yourself and grab your keys, you open the door and go outside. You start up your car and get in, you throw the bag in the seat next to you and adjust your rear view mirror. You look at yourself making sure your makeup is okay before putting the keys in and driving away. You made it to his place in about 3 minutes and you parked your car in his driveway. You see he owned a black pickup truck, must be he needed the space for baseball. You take your keys out of the car and grab your bag. You then get out of the car and you bundle yourself up in your jacket. It was a bit chilly out tonight so it was a good idea to bring your jacket. You then make your way up to his door and knock on it while looking at your phone again. The door opens and reveals Jungkook, his hair was a bit messy and his white tee shirt clinged to his chest. With his black sweatpants and his black slides. He must have just thrown something on like you just did, “Hey, come on in '' He moves and lets you in. You have never been to his house before because you guys usually study at the library after school so it’s weird seeing him like this. You look around and it’s what you expected of a boy, his living room was a bit trashed with pieces of clothing on his couch with a bunch of food lying around. “Let’s not take in my uncleanness, let’s go '' He motioned me and as you walked to his staircase, “Um you need anything? A drink, a snack?” He looked back at you, “No, I’m fine. Thanks for asking” He nodded as you guys headed upstairs into his bedroom. You went into his bedroom and he had red LED lights around the ceiling of his room and his room contained various baseball players posters and a bunch of his awards on his wall. In the corner of his room, beside his closet he had his baseball bag leaning up against it. He had black bed sheets with a queen sized bed. He also had a set of drawers with a mirror on top of it right across it. On the left side of his room he had his desk which had his gaming setup on top of it. He goes over to his desk and pushes his computer and keyboard back a bit. He then brings another chair next to his, he then looks over to you and you make your way over to him. He then grabs his remote control to his led lights as you sit down next to him. He then turns it to a light blue color as he then digs through his bag. “So what are we studying tonight?” You ask, he then sets his science textbook down on the table. “Chemistry” You sigh and nod, “That’s good, I was just studying that?” He nods and flips through the pages. “So are you alright? Not to hot nor cold?” He asks, “No I’m fine” He nods, he doesn’t usually ask you these things, you wonder why he is tonight. “Sorry I couldn’t do it at 4 today, we had baseball practice so I knew it wasn’t going to work” “Oh no it’s fine! I knew your schedule so I didn’t even know if we were going to study tonight” He nods and stops at the page, “Alright so it’s 1-10 right?” You nod as he gets out a piece of paper and starts to write down the numbers. You put your head in your hand again and looked at him, he looked so pretty like this. He still had some of his earrings that dangled from his ears. His hair was also so long that it hid his dark chocolate eyes while he was leaned over like this. You then smelled something strong and noticed it was coming from Jungkook, must be he put cologne on. It smelled nice, it almost smelled like teakwood. He then looked up from the paper and back at the textbook. “Could you read out the questions for me?” He looked at you with his doe eyes and your body tensed up. “M-hm'' You cleared your throat and began to read the first question, “Which subatomic particles are matched with their chargers?” He begins thinking about which answer is the correct one as his hand meets your thigh. Your eyes widened as you looked over at him and he’s just there innocently with his pencil to his lips thinking about the answer. You look away and try to calm yourself, but he’s never done this before, you wonder why he did this. Just then he begins to write down the answer and his thumb begins to rub against the inner part of your thigh. You purse your lips from letting a little whimper out as you try to close your legs. His hand then opens up your legs, rejecting them from clothing and starts rubbing again. “Number 2? Because protons are positives, neutrons are no charge and electrons are negatives” He looks at me with his doe eyes as you clear your throat, “Y-yup, that’s correct” You said, giving him a weak smile. He looks away and you see a small smirk form on his face. “Read number 2” “Which conclusion directly resulted from the “gold foil experiment?”” He began to think again as his hand on your thigh started rubbing again but this time his hand moved up a bit on your thigh. You look down at it and then look away before fake coughing to see if Jungkook has caught onto your hint yet. You look over and see that he hasn’t as you roll your eyes, “Number 1, because Alpha particles went right through the gold foil. Atoms are mostly empty space.” He looks at me and you nod, as he smirks, “I’m getting smarter” You chuckle at his comment, “Must be studying has paid off”. He nods as you look back at the textbook, “The bright-line spectrum of an element is produced when excited-state electrons” You sigh and put your head in your hand again. You then refrain yourself from yawning and you feel Jungkook’s hand slide up again. It was dangerously close to your clothed core as you looked away. Instead of rubbing his thumb like he has been doing he then begins to just rub your thigh with his whole palm of his hand instead. “Number 4 because excited electrons fall to lower energy levels, resulting energy in the form of light” You nod and he smiles, “The elements on the Periodic Table of Elements are arranged in order of increasing” You feel Jungkooks had slip up again, it’s now In between your hip and your thigh. Your breath hitches as he begins to massage it. You clear your throat again and you look over at him, “Number 2 because the order of the PT is based on the atomic number” You give him a mhm as he nods, “Atoms of which element in group 15 have the greatest electronegativity?” You feel his hand completely move on top of your clothed core as your eyes widen. Before he can do anything you stand up and he looks at you in confusion. “You okay?” You look down at him and announce, “Y-yeah, it’s just um… I need to use the bathroom. Where is it?” He then points to the door, “On your right” You nod and walk out of the room.

You make it to the bathroom and shut the door behind you. You look at yourself in the mirror and sigh. You put your hands on either side of the sink, what is he doing?! He has never done anything like this before, or has he shown interest in liking me?! Maybe he just wants to fuck me for his body count. You look at myself and sigh, but would he do that? You mean you think he would know if you're a virgin or not. You sigh and wrap your arms around your waist. You frown, you did like it though. Then shake you head and slap both of your cheeks and look at yourself in the mirror, get yourself together Y/N. You’re only here to study, not mess around. You huff before leaving the bathroom and going into Jungkook’s room again. “I did 5 and 6 while you were gone, you okay?” He asked me, You looked back at him and smiled. “Yeah I'm fine” You then looked over at his answers, “5’s wrong, it's 3 not 4. If you look at Table S it will give the answer” He pouts and looks back at the textbook. He then sighs out of annoyance and erases his previous answer and replaces It for the correct one. Once he was done you began to read number 7, “How many electrons are shared in a triple bond between two atoms?” He then puts his hand back on your clothed core, before you could protest he dips his hand beneath your waistband and puts his hand on your core. Your eyes widened as your breath hitched as his hand moved towards your clit and began to massage it softly. You cover your mouth with your hand trying to stop a moan from escaping your lips. He rubs it more and you throw your head back in pleasure and roll your hips to his hand movements. You look back at him as you see a smirk on his face, You swallow hard and put your hand down on his shoulder. “J-jungkook” “Mhm?” He doesn’t look at me as you tremble in pleasure. “S-stop- '' You say, grabbing on the sleeve of his t-shirt. He takes your wrist in hand and drops the pencil. He then turns towards me and smirks, “Please” he then lets out a breathy moan, “Please, please give in Y/N”. He speeds up a bit with his hand movements as I let out a moan. “It’ll feel so good, nothing else matters…”. He then lets out a low growl and he moves towards your ear, “Now, give in now Y/N, you know you want it”. You look back at him with your lids halfway closed as you see the lust firing up into his eyes. You purse your lips and look down at this scene unfolding. You then let out a whimper and nod. You see Jungkook lick hips lips as he then smirks, “Yes, fuck” he then growled as he took his hand off of your core. You frowned at how empty you felt after his hand left. He then lifted you up into his arms and soon threw you onto the bed. He towers over you and gives me a smirk before kissing me. It was hot and wet, as you let out lewd noises pulling onto the back of his hair. He breaks the kiss and looks down at you. He then takes off your jacket, along with your shirt and bra. You look up at him in embarrassment. Being this exposed makes it worse and you put your hands over your eyes. You hear Jungkook let out a low chuckle, “Your so beautiful baby” He says as he kisses your chest as you slowly remove your hands from your eyes. He then kisses his way over to your breast and begins sucking on your nipple. You let out a rushed moan and your hand landed over his head again. You take a fistful of his hair as his licks and sucks on it. With his other hand he thumbs your other nipple in his hand. Once he was satisfied enough he then began leaving a trail of wet kisses down your body and soon stopped at the waistband of your sweats. He looks up at you with those doe eyes and you nod. He then groans and begins taking them off, once they’re off he throws them and spreads your legs. He licks lips in anticipation and he lowers his head to kiss your inner thigh. You let out a whimper as he leaves a trail of kisses until he makes it to your clothed core. He then smiles, “Cute patines, too bad they’re coming off though” He says as he makes a swift movement and throws them away. His hands hold each other side of your thighs and you whimper, “J-jungkook, you’re” You point at his shirt and you hear him say oh. He then takes off his shirt and your eyes widened and his toned 6 pack. He throws his shirt away and then smirks. “Like what you see baby?” He asked as you nodded. He then leaned over you as your hands ran up his chest to his shoulders. You then look at him and he kisses me. He then breaks away and whispers “Let me touch it” he slides his hand between your folds and we both moan, he then hums as he leans towards your ear. “It’s so wet” You whimper at his response as he then pulls back and touches your clit and you let out a whimper as he moans again. “Yeah, it’s so fucking wet all over your fingers”. He begins to rub your clit harder, you moan as he sighs “I can’t wait anymore baby” You look at him in confusion and you see him step back, he then begins to take off his sweets along with his boxers and his erections springs out. You put your hand over your mouth and oh your god, it’s so big. He climbs back up on the bed again and positions his cock between your folds, “Feels so good baby” He then begins sliding it up and down between your folds as we both moan. “Yeah, so fucking good baby” He lets out a hum as he comes down to kiss you, you do it for a while before he pulls back. “So good” He says before giggling, he then turns serious again and hums. “I want you to take my cock, take it in your hand, slide it up and down your pussy lips. Hm?” He tilts his head as you let out a breathy moan looking back down at it. “Yeah, hold it against your pussy, make me feel it throbbing” You look back up at him with innocent eyes before reaching down and grabbing it in your hand. It’s so big and you have never left something like this before. Jungkook closes his eyes and groans, “Yeah yeah, oh…, like that” He growls he last part as you whimper, “Look at me” He demands, you look back up at him, “Mhm” he lowers his head to your ear, “I want you to be a good girl, slide my cock in hm? Wet from your juices and just slide it in your pussy” You whimper and look back down before slowly sliding it in, you let out a rushed moan as you feel it stretch in. You hear Jungkook moan and whimper. He then groans, “Yeah, slow… make me feel it, I want you to feel every fucking inch” You whimper at his words as you feel the tip go in, “That hardness sliding in your… wet heaven” He hums, “Gripping, milking, wet, sexy, heaven” It begins going all the way in and you both moan over how tight you was. You whimper as he puts his hands on either side of you, caging you in. You look up at him, “Dig your nails into my back when it goes all the way in” He demands as you put your arms around his back, you then put your head into the crook of his neck as we both moan. You feel it hit the back of your pussy, almost to the lower part of your tummy. You dig your nails into his back. He lets out a groan and wraps his arms around your back, “Wrap your legs around me” You do as he says as you remove your head from his neck as he kisses me, he breaks it and lets out a breathy moan. “My cock pressing up against your spot” He groans again, “Yeah baby, the only thing better than being turned on is letting go”. You whimper at his words as he kisses me again, this time more passion and pure lust. He breaks it and begins to thrusts into you, you let out a high pitched moan as he kisses your jawline, “I love fucking you missionary” He mumbles, “Yeah, oh.. So good”. He pushes himself up and looks at you, “There you go… there you go baby. She’s so good. She's so hot, your pussy’s so good” He lets out a breathy moan as you shut your eyes as he picks up the pace just a bit, he then leans down to kiss you again. You moan into the kiss as he starts pounding into me, “Just like that baby. Nice sexy pace” His face makes a lewd expression as he leans down towards your chest, “Give me those nipples” He says before sucking and licking onto one of them. Your eyes shoot open with pleasure as you grab onto his hair. “Fuck Jungkook!” you almost yell. He then does the same to the other while moaning, he then breaks away and lets out a loud moan. “Yeah you like that? That big hard cock inside you?” You nod as he smirks at how fucked out you already were. He then leans back down to cage you in again, “Those hard nipples into my chest fuck, this is why I love when your aroused baby, you want to make my cum deep inside you?” You let out a moan and along with a “Yes”. You hear him chuckle, “Tell me when you’re going to cum baby, I want to cum with you. I want to fill your pussy up with my warm hot cum, mixed with your juices. And then keep fucking you, to feel it that cum from your pussy.” You moan loudly at his words and put your head back into the crook of his neck, “Feel those strong arms around you, pinning your pussy. Fucking you not to fast but nice and deep and hard” He groans as you let out a whimper as you feel him growl into your ear, “Oh fuck like that”. He then begins to whimper, You can tell he’s close now and so were you. You began to clench around him, “Jungkook! Mhm.. I’m c-close” He groans at your answer, “Move your fingers to your clit” You do as he says and start to rub it to the rhythm of his thrusts. “Let me touch it” He says as he brings his finger down to your pussy. “Oh my cock feels so wet, rub your clit and let me slip it inside” You feel his finger slip inside of your hole with his cock and you let out a loud moan. “Stretch it out a bit more… make her fucking cum like that” He then lets out a low chuckle, “Oh it’s so tight… I can feel your wetness all over it. I can feel my cock throb, I can feel your fucking pussy pulse. So hot… tell me when you're going to cum baby cause I want to cum with you” He whimpers then kisses you again. With all of this simulation you feel like you can cum at any time now. “I want you to lock your legs around me when you cum and just keep me there yeah, fucking claim me. Claim me as yours baby” He lets out another loud moan and then begins to chuckle again. Your eyes shoot open as I feel your orgasm coming up, “I’m so close Jungkook!” You almost yell as he chuckles, “Your pussy’s squeezing me, she’s fucking demanding that fucking hot cum isnt she?” He groans as you clench even more of his words. “You gonna cum like that? With my cock and my finger in your pussy?” You nod vigorously as you feel your orgasm come to its climax, “Jungkook I’m coming!” “Cum for me! That’s it baby fucking cum for me!” He growls as you let go and you swear you saw stars. He sighs at the sight of you cumming then his eyes shoot open. “Oh fuck I’m gonna-“ You then throw your head back you feel him cum too, he loudly moans and so do you. You feel it fill you up, creamping you.

You both try to catch our breaths as you feel Jungkook slip out and fall down next to you. You slowly open your eyes and move your head towards Jungkook. He was still breathing heavily as his chest rose and fell. He also looked so pretty like this with his brown long locks sticking to his forehead from his sweat. He put his hand over his eyes and chuckled, “That was so good”. You chuckle too, “Yeah”. He then turns his head towards you and removes his hand, “Yeah, you liked it?”. You nodded, “I didn’t know if you did because you were so god damn quiet, well expect you moaning” You chuckled at his comment, “Yeah, I guess I was just too lost in the sensation” He nods and then pulls you in for a long and hot kiss. This time you break the kiss and your smile fades as you come back to reality. You just fucked Jeon Jungkook… and he was probably was use using you. “You okay baby?” He asked as you nodded. He then got up, “Let me get a towel”. He gets on his boxers and sweats before he walks out of the room. You look down at the floor where your clothes were thrown and reality hits you even more when you pan over to his desk where the textbook was left. You sit up and close your legs before wrapping your arms around your waist. You feel disgusted, he then comes back in with the towel. He comes towards you and climbs up on the bed, “Open your legs for me baby” You do as he says and slowly open your legs. He cleans his cum from your hole with the towel, you watch him as he does and you say something you would never say in your whole entire life, “Are you using me?” You asked. He stops to look up at you, “Huh?”. “Are you using me?” You say this time a bit louder. He sighs, “Baby what the fuck are you talking about?” “You must be using me right? Just for your stupid body count? Because you would never do this with somebody like me”. He sighs and frowns, “What if I’m not though? What if I like you?” Your eyes widened as you looked at him. His face shows he was telling the truth, “You w-what?” “I like you Y/N, okay? I’ve liked you ever since 5th grade. I tried to distract myself with other girls but it just didn’t work. I tried to get close to you but I was taken away by the stupid girls in our grade. I wanted to tell you I liked you but I didn’t know when and how. When you started to tutor me I was so happy that I could finally get close to you. And I thought we were going great so I fucked you. I’m not the best at showing my emotions but I hoped that this would get my feelings over” He then looked at you as you trembled and felt tears in your eyes. You then felt those tears stream down your face as you began to cry. You felt Jungkook come into your arms and hugged you, you put your face into his bare face and cried even harder. He stroked your hair and cooed, “I’m so sorry Y/N if you don’t feel the same way-“ “You should have taken me on a date” You said quietly. He was confused and looked down at me and you chuckled softly, “You should have taken me out on a date idiot” You then lightly punched his chest. He chuckled and gave you a kiss on the forehead, “Well I was going to after we got done but I thought you would take my signals a bit earlier” “I did! Did you not hear me cough?” He then smirked, “I did but I didn’t take that as a yes” You scoffed and rolled your eyes as he gave you a kiss on the head. He then got down to grab your clothes and threw them towards you, “Can you take me home?” He then whipped his head towards me, “Was I that bad?” “Oh no… I liked it, it's just… isn’t it going to be weird if we go into school at the same time?” He chuckled, “That’s the thing that you’re worried about the most right now?” You nodded, and he wiped his face with hand. “See this is why you’re not like other girls Y/N. And why I love you” You faintly blushed and looked away, “You drove here right? So it wouldn’t be us going in at the same time. Unless you want to stay with me?” He said smirking, “Oh, oh no um…” You chuckled a bit, “I forgot I brought my car” “Must be I fucked you that good” You then blushed hard and covered your face with your clothing and threw a pillow at Jungkook. “Ow! Hey! I’m right though?” “SHUT IT” He chuckled at your answer before coming back over to you and removing the clothing from your face and kisses you

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The next day you woke up in Jungkook’s bed alone. Before you went to bed he gave me his extra hoodie and sweats to wear to bed because your clothes were dirty. You opened your eyes slowly and yawned and rubbed your eyes. You looked around and wondered where he was. Just then you smelled something good coming from downstairs, so you went downstairs. You see Jungkook shirtless standing over the oven making breakfast. You smiled and came behind him and gave him a back hug, “Morning baby” “Morning” You said taking in his scent. He still smelled of his cologne like the night before. “Breakfast is almost ready so take a seat” You do as he says and sit down by the island. Breakfast soon came out and he set down a plate with bacon and eggs in the shape of a face. You smiled at his cute details on it, “Hope you like eggs and bacon for breakfast” “Oh no I do” You said smiling at him, as you cut some pieces of egg off with your knife and ate it. “How do you like your coffee?” He asked, going over the Keurig, “With creamer” He nodded and went into the fridge looking for the creamer and poured some into the coffee. He then puts it back into the fridge and gives you your cup of coffee, “Thank you” He nodded and went back over to his spot and sipped his coffee. “So you did like it last night right?” You looked over at him and his face was serious. “Mhm, you were very good” He chuckled and took another sip of his coffee, “Thank baby”. You nodded but just then you realized something, “What are we going to do about uniforms?” He almost spits his coffee out and looks at me. “The nurse usually has a spare but you have to pay for it” You nod and continue to eat your breakfast, “I can pay for it. I forgot about that, unless you want to go home and grab yours” “I will probably do that, I need to grab my school bag anyways” He nods and then pouts “That means I won’t see you until 4th” You giggle and look at him, “You will have to wait then”. He pouts and gives his doe eyes and you just chuckle. “So… are we a thing?” You asked, looking over at him. His eyes widened as he blushed and looked away. “Well I was going to ask you after our date but-” “Our date?!” You exclaimed looking over at him again. “You planned this all out didn’t you?” He chuckles and sets down his coffee,”I did but I can ask you now”. He comes to you and takes your hand in his. “Y/N L/N, will you be my girlfriend?” He asks bowing like a prince. You giggle at his antics, “Yes, I will”. You see him smile and moves up to kiss you passionately. You break the kiss and smile, “Can I use your shower?” “Mhm it’s all your princess” You smile at him and get up to go upstairs but just then he runs up behind me and wraps his hands around your waist tickling me. “BUT YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO WITH YOU” You giggle and laugh at the same time, “COME ON JUNGKOOK, PLEASE LET ME BE” You say laughing even harder, “NOPE LET ME GO WITH YOU” “FINE” You give in as he stops tickling you as you both make your way upstairs.

After you both got done with your steamy shower Jungkook gave you an extra shirt of his and some shorts. He said he would do laundry tonight so he would stop by your place to give you them. You both got ready for school and you both went out of the house to our cars. He stops you before going to your car, he looks at you before kissing you. “See you at school baby” You nod and then get into your car and drive to your house. You felt empty without him, it’s probably because you haven’t had a boyfriend since highschool. Once you arrive at your apartment, you run up your stairs and take off Jungkook’s clothes before getting into your uniform and grab your backpack before going back down stairs again and heading out the door. You soon arrive at school and park your car before walking into the entrance. It was a long wait for the 4th period, you were sad that it would be so long until you would see him again. After almost 3 hours, 4th period arrived. You walk into the class and see Jungkook talking to his friends in the distance. He feels your eyes on him, he turns his head and he smiles then waves at me. You wave back at him before sitting down at your desk. The period was so long but you saw Jungkook catching some glances at you here and then. You were looking at your paper thinking of the answer to question 13 but you see a piece of paper on your desk. You look over at Jungkook and he motions you to open it. It reads, “6 pm at my house tonight?” You smile and write back, “Sure! Text me the plans”. You hand him back the paper and watch his reaction. His face lights up with joy and he nods. Soon the period ended and you went over to your friend. “How was tutoring with Jungkook last night?” She asked. “Oh it was so good” You said smirking, she gave you a confused expression and then said “That’s good”. You smile then nod and I see Jungkook coming your way. You see he had a paper in his hand, he then showed it to you, he got a 54 on his Chemistry test. “Looks like I didn’t pass… must be I need some more tutoring” He said pouting. You giggle and smile at him, “Or maybe somebody wasn’t paying attention last night” He looks up at you and smirks, “When can I come over again?” “Hmm” You put your finger up to your lips, fake thinking. “How about Thursday next week and at 8 pm again, I have an all county meet at 4 pm” He licks his lips and looks at you from bottom to top. “Yeah? That’s fine… see you then Y/N” He said, giving me a wink before walking out the classroom door.

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middlenamesage · 6 days

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⭐️ Lesser known significations of each of the planets ⭐️

Please note that with these planetary placements, the sign gives info about the style in which you conduct yourself, the house gives info about where in life you’re conducting yourself, and the aspects give info about other flavors brought up into the picture, and how your relationship with a placement affects you and fits into the rest of your consciousness/life.

Sun

Can show where/how you like to be creative or your creative gifts. The 5th house and Leo also can show this, but I don’t seem to read enough that the Sun🌞, as our creative life force, often correlates just as directly to the type of creativity or relationship with creativity someone has.

Moon

Can show your relationship with emotional empathy; how much of it you feel, where it feels strongest, how you express it, and how it affects you (this last point being seen through the aspects to your other planets). I wish to clarify that emotional empathy is feeling other people’s emotions, and it’s not the only kind of empathy. Anyone can learn to cultivate intellectual empathy, and act on empathy. But I’ve chosen to bring the subject of emotional empathy up with the Moon because so often people think how much one finds themselves feeling for others is shown by the amount of water placements in a chart. But it’s the Moon itself that actually somewhat singularly shows the most about emotional empathy. Having planets whose core functions don’t relate to our feelings and empathy in water signs, isn’t necessarily gonna make emotional empathy strong for someone. But the function of the Moon itself is to feel and to support our close interpersonal relations.

Mercury

Can give indications about your sense of humor! Mercury rules over language and conscious thought processes, so it can say a lot about what a person processes as being funny, and in what manner they deliver funny insights. Mercury is the original master of wit!

Venus

Can show where you overindulge or what you are most greedy with.

Yes, the benefics can spoil, and they too can corrupt! One corrupted side of Venus is taking too much for herself possibly at the expense of others, and preferring a lazy and pleasurable lifestyle while never putting in the work. In some charts, at some times in your life, Venus’s placement can show where this applies.

Mars

Can show the way you break up with someone. 💔 While Venus’s function is to draw connections and support to us, Mars has the important function of keeping the connections we don’t want out, and severing connections that are no longer working. Mars’ objective is to assert individual will and this can require setting boundaries. Understanding your Mars can help you learn how to set boundaries and understand your tendencies when it comes to breaking up.

Bonus because I think it’s a really good one: Mars can show what type of exercise would be best for you, being the planet of action and vitality.

Jupiter

Can show where you overestimate your abilities or have blind faith in something, in some charts at some times. I’m choosing to cite a more negative side for both of the benefics in this post, as those sides aren’t always talked about a lot. Jupiter allows us to establish our beliefs, and gaining confidence in the way we view things is what creates the space for us to expand. But sticking by beliefs blindly (when it comes to either general philosophies or your beliefs about yourself!), without proper consideration for why you actually believe them, will not create any authentic expansion.

Saturn

Can show realms that at some points in your life you flat out avoid and/or dislike to the point of disgust potentially. This depends on what else you have in that house and how Saturn is aspected, but this has seemed to hold true for both myself at points, and a decent number of others I have observed.

Let’s be real. Saturn is not easy. He/she wants to build something long and lasting, but to actually do so can just seem so daunting. Especially when the limitations in the short term view can look so severe. 🪐 “Get bitter or get better” is a Saturn original line. And most of us have experienced feeling only bitter about our Saturn placement at some point.

Uranus

Can show where you operate for the greater good. Something I appreciate about Uranus (and want to give this shout out during the Jupiter-Uranus conjunction). Uranus doesn’t tend to need the individual accolades (depending how he’s aspected and placed). He understands he’s working to liberate a society and I think that’s beautiful. *Jupiter gushing*

Neptune

Can show where you feel like a victim or have been victimized.

I see Neptune as an outcast and misunderstood, it’s an energy some people might be inclined to try to take advantage of. But it’s for this same reason that your Neptune placement can also show where you have a very keen ability to sense, and want to support, others who suffer a similar predicament as you.

Pluto

Can show where and how you may try to control others. I don’t feel I read enough about this one, for how very common this expression can be at some points in our lives. Pluto is the subject matter that has been hidden from the conscious parts of our minds, specifically because we were the ones to bury it when we felt shame or fear for our power. Yes, Pluto is our power, but at the times that we can’t recognize this, a common reaction is to subtly try to control others in those realms. It can be so subtle and unconscious that we’re likely to not even recognize the ways we are acting or speaking manipulatively. Often the only way to fully solve this issue is to face whatever you blocked from your conscious mind and to learn to see any fears or shame you have associated with your Pluto’s placement, as actually sources of your personal power. 🖤

When you build a relationship with the planets, you’re building your relationship with yourself.

🌞💫🪐🌝

#astrology #planets in astrology #learn astrology #astrology tumblr #astrology community #astrology observations #zodiac signs #natal astrology #planets

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redpanther23 · 1 month

Text

second autobiographical essay below

The first sixteen years of my life I spent with my mom, and they were honestly the motherfucking worst.

My mom met my step dad larping when I was about 2, he was 16, and she was 26. She got pregnant, they got married, and he started sexually abusing me right away. When my brother was born, I couldn't stand him and was a complete cunt to him (sorry dude, I was a kid and I didn't know better.)

When I started school, I struggled to focus and did very poorly, and my mom and step dad would beat me and take all my things out of my room except for furniture, and lock me in there except to use the bathroom, for months on end, until they thought my grades were good enough. My step dad would come into my room at night and touch me. He would also jump out at me around corners and "wrestle" with me (pretending to wrestle for fun so he could squeeze my tits.) I would struggle and yell, and bite him as hard as I could, and my mom would punish me for hurting him. Sometimes he would do it in front of her, and when I complained to her, she would call me a liar. (His name again: Rigel Cameron Freeman.)

We moved pretty much every year because my parents struggled to maintain jobs. Mainly we lived in different parts of Gainesville, Florida, but we also briefly lived in Raleigh, North Carolina. At school I was usually the only non Christian kid, and I was a complete asshole because my family life was so horrible, so no one liked me and I was bullied constantly. I spent a lot of time in class, and all my time at recess, drawing and making up imaginary friends, or reading books about talking cats (I was very misanthropic, something I still struggle with.) When I was in late elementary to middle school, I made a few friends I still talk to. That was also the same time as my first suicide attempt (5th grade), and when I started self harming.

When I was 12 I dyed my hair red, and my friend's dad named me Red (their family were Irish and Cherokee.) I had been called lots of other names before that, basically something different by each relative, and the only thing everyone could agree on was that none of them suited me (and no one ever called me my government name.) After I was named Red, I dyed my hair every other color you can think of, but my name has stayed the same.

The same year, I moved to Miami, and that began a new isolated phase in my life that led to me becoming interested in magick. My mom had never lived in a major city before, and we ended up moving to a pretty sketchy neighborhood (gunshots almost every night, drive bys, etc.) In our home country (Mississippi) kids are simply expected to fend for themselves outdoors until supper. Now that I was trapped inside with my incredibly abusive family, I had nothing to turn to but the internet (something I'm sure many of us here can relate to.)

I became interested in magic through mythology. I had always found other pre-Christian cultures fascinating, since I wasn't allowed to learn anything about my own, and I discovered through Wikipedia and Google searches that people still practiced the pagan European religions of my ancestors. Through neopaganism, I began to learn about ceremonial magic extremely quickly, feeling as though it was the one piece of my life I'd been missing, finding that I had an innate understanding of something other than visual art for the first time. It wasn't long before I was ready to try my first invocation. I had always wondered if I had a "spirit animal," or a guide, which I knew must be part of my subconscious, and recognizing immediately that I could use ritual meditation to access this, I crafted my first ritual based on some uninitiated wiccan articles I had been reading, and what implements I had laying around. I set out a circle of stones, invoked the four quadrants with a candle at each cardinal direction, laid out offerings of oil, salt, and water, lit an incense cone, and two additional candles for the Mother and Father. My practice is very different now, but my results at the time were extraordinarily intense. When I closed my eyes, this is what I saw:

Dense forest, high on the mountain. It's foggy and overcast, but it's summertime. The rocks are covered with moss, thick and green. I look down at my sandy brown forepaws and know that I am a panther. I begin to stroll, and I can feel the power in my muscles. I'm strong and free.

I opened my eyes, and was back in my bedroom, surrounded by rocks and candles. Shortly afterward, my mom mentioned Scott Panther to me for the first time (I didn't remember meeting him as a baby.) I'm sure it will confuse some that my first experience with a native archetype, my family animal, was through a European style ritual. Hey, think how I feel! I should have been able to take peyote and meet a mountain lion face to face to earn my name, like any decent person. Unfortunately, since I was so isolated, I didn't have the privilage. My connection to the panther is extremely deep - some of my first dreams were of being a cat, and the first time I prayed (age 8) it was to "StarClan," which, for the uninitiated, is the clan of dead cats who live in the sky in the children's book series Warrior Cats (I still like to think my cat ancestors are up there watching.) I've always studied cat behavior and embodied cat energy, even before I had any vision, but in my life that was treated as something annoying and strange by the people around me, rather than the sacred mystical practice it was. When I had cats in my life, I prioritized them, often over my own health and safety. Even though I only have a dog now, I still consider cats to be my teachers. I can't say whether my conceptualization of reality and my experiences is native, or European, but I would guess it's a mix of both, like me.

I started high school at MAST Academy in Miami, a school for "future scientists." My family always discouraged me from drawing or playing music, often my instruments would be taken away or sold, or I would have nothing but lined notebook paper to draw on (I would only get things I needed for school.) Since all I had to decide a "career" on was my passion for non-human animals, I thought I might be a zoologist. It was a lot less horrible than most other high schools in a lot of ways, and a few of the teachers even treated me like a person (cheers.) I started visiting my dad a little during this period, he began teaching me about Jewish mysticism and Kaballah, what little I could understand, and I began to read from his collection of books on magick and the occult.

During my second year of high school, my mom and step dad moved to the Netherlands, and brought me with them. I was too young and shy (scared) to have any fun, and I just thought about suicide constantly. My mom would never stop yelling at me about everything, telling me how l worthless I am. I caught my step dad taking pictures of me as I got out of the shower, and my little brother told me he caught him watching me sleep through the window over my bedroom door (you could stand at the top of the stairs and look right through it.) I became paranoid he was going to start raping me again, like he did when I was younger, and slept with a knife beside me, when I could sleep. (Again, his name is Rigel Cameron Freeman, and he is a computer programmer who works in the video game industry.)

The only positive part of my life during this period was an online death cult I joined, called Les Fleurs de la Mort. I can't talk about our practices in detail, but it lead me to get really into gardening, which was probably the healthiest possible pastime for me. I don't think I've spoken to any of my fellow Fleurists in years, but if any y'all are reading this, meow.

After I turned 16, I got the chance to visit my dad back in Miami (court ordered), and I refused to return to my mom. I haven't heard from my mom or step dad since then, except for a handful of extremely rude emails from my mom before covid, and I hope that's the end of it.

Rigel Cameron Freeman, the pedophile who made my life hell and molested me constantly throughout my childhood, currently has sole custody of my youngest sibling, who's 9. (He was born after I left, and we've never met.)

#red panther speaks

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