#What the fuck is wrong with my dad

[inkskinned]

this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

#spilled ink #writeblr #:) lol . anybody notice how i write about dads in second person exclusively #me: haha silly cartoon #also me: ): this child is not getting what they need #also btw this is about a father but it might apply to any parent or caregiver #there's a really weird space of like #''this person was technically around me but either ignored me or was actively harmful to me'' #and like u learn this very strange ritual of like... this person is my parent/caregiver on a technicality #that you almost spend all ur time with them like... tiptoeing and acting as THEIR parent so u don't upset them. #like you're 17 and ur mom is suddenly hit by a wave of wanting to talk to you so she's like :) lets make breakfast together :) and ur like #uhhhhhh okay?? bc you feel like this is absolutely going to go wrong and is why u usually make breakfast alone #and she starts being like: THIS is called a TEASPOON ... & u know all this stuff but you also know to just be very quiet #bc if you say like ''mom ive been making this breakfast every day since i was 13'' she would FREAK OUT and be like #DONT ACT LIKE I NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR YOU DONT ACT LIKE I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU. FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL . #so u have to smile like ur a preschool teacher and be like. OH COOL! i didn't know A CUP existed! tell me MORE! :)

[skrunksthatwunk]

something he can't put into words.

#ANOTHER DAIGO POST!!!! <333 #also sorry for being like teehee yaoi dojima anyway daigo can't/probably shouldn't be close to his bio dad and latched onto this random #20 year old but Doesnt Quite recognize what is so wrong about sohei and so right about kiryu and how he should feel about either #meaning he cant fulfill his true desire (baby duck around kamurocho with his babysitter who's probably got better things to do bc people #always have better things to do than take care of him but at least kiryu pretends he enjoys it #for hours and hours and hours. some of the others ask him how he is or what he's up to at school but they don't really reach him like kiryu #does. he wants to impress him soooo bad. aughhh baby daigo you're annoying but you're also so emotionally neglected #haha latching onto mentors bc they're more involved/easier to connect to than parents haha who would do that not me ahem uh anyway #(skrunks be normal about and not project onto a kiryu + child dynamic challenge: impossible) #anyway he can't just say sohei's his father bc he's a big crime daddy but he hasn't really.. accepted? whats going on with kiryu yet either #i dont think he knows kiryu's his dad is my point #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #dojima daigo #like a dragon #daigo dojima #ykz #i accidentally saved over soo many versions of this so i had to be like fuck it we ball. thats the final version of that panel now #gonna schedule this for later today bc i dont wanna stifle the kazumi posts but i also uh. am impatient #anyway more little daigo content he's such an ass but it makes so much sense why he's like that and he deserves a whole lotta love #also i just realized i used different name orders for kiryu and yayoi... sorry idk im just incapable of writing kazuma kiryu #uhOOPS POSTED IT EARLY NVM #yer gettin a loootta skrunk content today ig #skrunkart

[uncanny-tranny]

Something I think ought to be more readily-available and encouraged is simply... taking parental classes. I wish it were more common for people to realize just how hard - and important - parenting is, and indeed, that we all could use help with taking care of young folk. It's really alarming that popular opinion is still that parental classes are only for the "fuck-up" parents, or the parents who utterly failed. It should be seen as a good thing to take parental classes - especially on your own volition. It should be seen as imperative for one to take them, it should be a free, accurate, and scheduled occurrence so that people of any background are able to attend.

#politics #parenting #i might have posted something like this before but who knows. certainly not me (the blogger) #of course some cities and states in the USA for instance will have programs like this but it's not.. across the board from what i understand #my city has a few free parenting classes for really any parent and i am really happy to hear that #my dad talks about the classes he took and most of them are geared toward fathers (the classes he takes). i think that's a great thing #i wish that was more common when i was a kid. when i'm older you bet i'm taking advantage of parenting classes <3 #even if i have no children i won't be child-free unless i live in isolation. i want to treat them well #i would be devastated if a kid were to have a horrible experience around me because i was an asshole or i was uncompassionate or ignorant #the overall message i got as a kid was that parenting classes were a punishment for the fuck-up parents and THAT is fucked up to me #the idea that parenting is simultaneously natural AND that you're Always Correct and Never Wrong is dangerous at best #like i bet my abuser thought they were a good adult to me and that i was just a fucked-up *child*

[introspectivememories]

four months into getting to know each other, shouto finds him by touya-nii's shrine. his little brother gently sits down beside him and offers a small prayer.

"yumi-nee-san," natsuo wonders if his little brother will ever drop the second honorific, "said you were the closest to him," shouto says quietly.

after all these years and the use of past tense still makes his heart break. 'you are the closest to him' he wants to correct but that wouldn't make sense anymore. touya-nii hasn't been talked about in the present tense since before middle school. does shouto even remember a time before nii-san's dea-, disappearance?

"yeah, i was," he says, eyes never leaving the photo. it's the one nii-san took for sixth-grade picture day. kaa-san had got him all dressed up and he had hated it. somedays he thinks if he looks close enough, he'll see the displeased pout on nii-san face. "why?"

his little brother says nothing for a long time, back ramrod straight. natsuo has no idea what's going on in that head of his. shouto has so few tells that he's practically a blank slate. natsuo hates his father.

then slowly and so quietly, he has to strain his ears to catch it, shouto stammers out, "do-, do you think he would have liked me?"

natsuo's immediate reaction is to say 'yes'. yes, of course, touya-nii would've loved you. yes, of course, touya-nii would've crossed the heavens for you. yes, of course, he would've loved you shouto; you're his precious younger brother.

but he remembers the way nii-san used to spit out shouto's name when he was a kid. the way his brother's mouth wrapped around it, the face he made, like he had just eaten something disgusting. he remembers the way touya-nii had become almost crazed by the end, hellbent on proving himself the rightful heir to their shitty father's legacy. he remembers the way touya-nii had said, "i just need to prove that i'm better than him,"; the 'him' said with such bitterness and contempt.

he knows instantly that touya-nii would not have liked shouto. that this house and his father would have twisted any ounce of love, nii-san would've held towards shouto, into jealousy and hatred.

(this house may have ruined all of them but it only ever broke two of them.)

natsuo can't say any of that to shouto. his kind little brother who forgave him for not being there. his amazing little brother who falls in love with every cat he sees. his wonderful little brother who has a wickedly dry sense of humor. his soft baby brother who loves him and yumi-nee with a passion. his tender-hearted baby brother who still worries if his long-gone older brother would've liked him.

no, natsuo can't tell shouto that nii-san wouldn't have like him. shouto will internalize it like he does with everything else that hurts him. and there is already so much that hurts shouto, he will not add to that list. his baby brother smiles these days, nothing big like his green-haired friend, but quiet, lovely, ones all the same. shouto talks more these days. they have dinner together when natsuo is home. his baby brother laughs now. it's a miracle like nothing else in this world.

shouto is the best thing to come out of their house and natsuo will die before he ever hurts his little brother. so instead, he curls an arm around shouto's shoulders and pulls him into a loose side-hug.

"of course!" he lies cheerfully, ignoring the ache in his chest, "touya-nii would've loved you. you're his — and our —precious little brother after all. there is no universe in which he wouldn't have loved you."

the tips of his baby brother's ears go red and his pleased little answering smile makes the ache of lie go away. natsuo will tell a thousand more lies if it means shouto never stops smiling like that.

#PLEASE THEY MAKE ME INSANE!!!! #and the thing is natsuo's not wrong. touya really would've loved shouto in literally any other universe #also natsuo who fucking /adores/ his baby brother so much #shouto laughs and natsu's like: the second coming of jesus christ could not compare to this #100% natsu is shouto's overprotective brother #it's the like 15 years of suppressed older sibling instincts coming out #someone fucking looks are shou wrong and natsu's all up in their face like: what's your fuckin issue with my bro dude?? #natsuo for once being thankful that he got endeavor's height and build #fuyu: i thought you said you didn't like looking like dad? #natsu: that was before i found out i could use it to intimidate people that looked a shouto wrong #fuyu: natsu you think every1 looks at shou wrong. you tried to fistfight a baby yesterday #natsu: yeah well it shouldn't have cried when shou held it. did you see how sad shou looked???? #fuyu: never pegged you for a brocon to be honest #natsu: you take that back rn #todoroki shouto #todoroki natsuo #todoroki touya #todoroki fuyumi #todoroki family #bnha

[4esthetic-dissonance]

I'm working on a fic and was like 'how in the hell do you make LINGUANG JUN the least bit redeemable?'. I mean, /Linguang jun/ who tossed a developmentally four year old Mobei Jun to a pack of humans? The kid could have died. And then I saw a translation of the extras. It describes lgj as mbj's 'young uncle', says that he 'wasn't that much older than him (mbj)'. And I just- its a hell of a lot different, a Scar type tossing his nephew to the proverbial wolves than it is for a maybe dumb, maybe petty, maybe developmentally five or six year old to shove their annoying technically-nephew-who-in-age-and-context-is-more-like-a-brother-than-lgj's-actual-brother into a situation that the text implies was more frightening than actually /dangerous/. And that- well I can work with that.

#Yeah yeah yeah I know in text he doesn't have anything going for him #And maybe the translation i found is not perfect #But its what I'm going with #And I think its more compelling than 'I hate your dad and so I hate you' #And what the fuck is svsss about if not deepening the complexity of easily-written-off characters anyway? #Svsss #Mobei Jun #Linguang jun #Scum villain #Scum villains self saving system #Honestly I even like my version better than the 'mbj senior stole lgj's wife' story #Which I think is fanon anyway #But then I have five siblings and we spent most of our childhoods trying not trying to kill each other #And yeah uhuh a nice thoughtful person would feel bad for endangering their sort of little brother #But a person from the world and not from a morality tale (especially a little kid) would more likely grow resentful #And dig in their heels that they'd done nothing wrong and why was little bro such a crybaby anyway he doesn't even deserve to be king #It just makes sense to me in a way that other versions of it that I've read don't #Don't bug me if you don't like the translation #I'm working on fanfiction not on getting canon reprinted

[chrollohearttags]

everything that could go wrong today has and I’m just ready to call it quits for this year while I’m ahead. Not even going to try anymore.

#rant in tags ignore if you don’t want to see my bitching #literally two things broke in the bathroom while I was using it and ik I’m gonna have to hear my dad’s fucking mouth abt it #I literally never cause trouble break or ask for anything #always walking on eggshells bc I never wanna make trouble for him or anybody else #but the first to volunteer my help but getting yelled at over a stupid discrepancy for an Amazon order #I explained that my bank sucks so much so I’ve only stuck to using CashApp bc it steals money #but he basically accuses me of stealing his money to help my brother #my selfish ass brother who I do everything for can’t even have the decency not to touch my stuff I brought specifically for me #but you’ll gladly stick ur neck out for a neighborhood drug addict and help them #ur kids can never have room for error #I’m responsible for all of my affairs I don’t ask him for a damn thing I even buy groceries every month and the internet #god forbid one thing goes wrong and he flies off the handle #two seconds from slitting vertically #not even doing this I’m done #I’m tired of living like this tbh #I can’t even drive myself or barely even walk lmao #what is the fucking point #cherry chats 🍒 #I’m sorry I’m just frustrated bc how dare you act like I cause so much trouble

[whosplayerthree]

#Might make a separate one for goyim but who knows #jumblr #Holocaust cw #antisemitism #Fuck I clicked the wrong button on my own poll lol #I was 8 I think. I remember because my dad had just bought a leather jacket #During his midlife crisis which was that year #And he put a never again button on it #And I exerted my new reading skills and asked what that meant #And he told me....

[opens-up-4-nobody]

I just need to know if people love or hate him and if they think he's good at being so bad. I want to know what the people think of him as a character. Pls. Pls. Tell me what u think of him in ur tags.

#i think hes incompetent. at every turn hes getting dunked on until everyone is so desperate that they fall into his trap #i just dont think he could do what he did if the situation wasnt so dire #maybe im wrong. the show runners disagree with that take but they also called him a messiah figure and that is fucking insane to me #ugh. whatever. my dad calls him mister hinkey lol #the terror #cornelius hickey #amc the terror #to me hickey is just so pathetic #note i did not give u a: i want to see him punished as a boy choice #bc i fear how many would click on it

[svampira]

if you've seen me post this already no you did naut anyways human elias

#ok i posted this yesterday then deleted it cause it looked kind of bad #i fixed it and its cuter now👍 #not going in the tags this time #backstory time he was basically a cartoonishly evil jock but people just went along w it cause he was hot and had a celebrity mom #kind of guy to take highschool football way too fucking seriously. WAY TOO SERIOUSLY #ough his eyes look so weird here. whatever back to teen show antagonist backstory #idk i feel like he was just a nightmare to be around. whats worse than a tiktoker. a tiktoker quarterback whos obscenely rich and cant face #any consequences cause his dad funded the school #he got normaler after he graduated but got murdered less than a year after. sorry. at least he gets to finally murder people when hes undea #i feel like 90% of what was wrong with him as a teen was because he wasnt allowed to kill people during football matches but rest assured #he def tried #the way i draw him i feel it gives more cheerleader but his dex is way too low. maybe he was in his freshman year then jumped to 6 #*6.3 when he was like 16 and got forced into the football team #hes 6.4 when he dies at 19 #word dump OVER. maybe i should fix my toyhouse #/elias #scarabocchi

[starrysharks]

he's like if a woman and a man had a baby

#ocs #my ocs #my ocs art #original character #dr savory #reassassination #hes gendafluid (canon i literally gave birth to him with my brain) and sometimes wears fem clothes. thats it #the inspiration ? haruhi's dad and bugs bunny baby #ok im so fucking hungry rn omg i could eat a horse #onion thinks savory (fem) and savory (masc) are two different people (octavia's parents) #theyre not entirely wrong #also savory uses he/him no matter what hes wearing :> #zeno's art

[littleoceanbabe]

i felt a personal victory when henry didn’t fist bump dr jacob <3 show favoritism henry i’m so proud of u

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #FUCK dr jacob all my homies HATE dr jacob #he gives me the ICK #dating a former patient jesus christ man what’s wrong w u #anyway henry says you’ll never be my real dad and i think he’s just correct <3

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes

[lobotomyladylives]

people often assume when we all go out together that I'm my half brothers mom (I'm 20 years older than him) & that his parents are his grandparents & it's so funny bc I know it bothers them. old ass idiots

#my dad was 49 & his wife was 45 when they had him #the story behind his birth is actually extremely fucked up like everything else about their relationship #so my dad left her like a million times to try to go back to my mom (who kept telling him no unless he sorted out his issues) then he #would always run right back to her & she always took him back. anyways i guess he said smth along the lines of #''my wife (he was still married to my mom) will always be the love of my life bc shes the mother of my kids'' #and...she went off bc & on fertility treatments without telling him. then shes pregnant & he is still saying he wants to come back to us #so she said he will never see their kid & her son from a previous marraige THREATENED MY DAD AT GUNPOINT #and said if you ever leave my mom again ill fucking kill yoi #so then the divorce was finalized & they got married & my half brother was born. rest is history #for the record i dont feel sorry for my dad at all it was his fault too. the fucking hypocrite was having sex before marriage #and he knew she was nuts & far too attached to her #what a fucking idiot. all he had to do was get on meds & in therapy & admit he was wrong & he could have stayed with us #but he needed constant validation & to be in charge of everything & thats what his new wife gives him. she converted to his cult & now they #raise my brother in it. and she just does whatever my dad wants & lets him treat her like shit. i would actually feel sorry for her if sh #if she werent such a fucking awful person. and she tries to be all nicey nice w/us despite being a literal homewrecker. #and doing things like telling my dad he cant spend more than 50 dollars per year on each of us #while having him buy her a third car & a 1500 dollar fur coat. lol #theyre so much better off financially than us that its unreal. my mom doesnt get a penny despite how much we are struggling #but if i want a relationship with my half brother i just have to pretend none of this is weird or wrong. #anyways i just hope he never finds out the circumstances of his birth bc god can you fucking imagine