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wizardysseus · 3 years

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i was thinking about once upon a time (abc) in bed this morning so i decided to write this list

subject to change, since awhile ago i was in the middle of season 6 when they took it off netflix and i never quite got around to picking it back up. i’m gonna finish if it kills me i promise

top 5 things about once upon a time

5. anna frozen

when ouat introduced frozen characters, most fans decided the show had jumped the shark. they were not wrong. however, it was this very thing that allowed the show to be fun again! after an excruciatingly bad season 3 (we will get to that), bringing on anna and elsa literally transported directly from their own unaltered story in cheap ass versions of their unaltered movie costumes allowed the show to let loose and do... basically whatever it wanted. this became the hallmark of the show for those who stuck with it: absolutely not making sense at all, but being fun about it. post-season-three ouat becomes a totally different soap opera from season one, but by god you are never bored.*

personally, the flashback episode where anna annoys rumpelstiltskin and gets the better of him and he’s so fucking mad about it is like top 10 episodes**

4. 2x16 “the miller’s daughter”

this episode is just another personal favorite. it exemplifies what this show was really good at when it was good, and also where everything went wrong. i think cora is a great example of a good ouat villain, i think the twist on the rumpelstiltskin story is great, i think the dramatic beats really work.

...and in typical ouat fashion, cora immediately dies and two more villains we don’t care about at all are introduced. (sonequa forgive me you know i’m in love with you but tamara was nothing. it’s not your fault.) yes we get that great scene of snow aggressively doing archery practice while listening to “bad reputation” but was it worth killing off a compelling villain just as you’d dug into her story?

3. the commitment to regina’s redemption

and lana parrilla in general. i mean i’m gay and she’s hot but the worse the show got, the more acting lana gave it. and this is just speculation, but i think lana is more comfortable with drama than with camp? because regina becomes a much more interesting character as someone conflicted and on the path to redemption than as a villain. and by god, they were gonna redeem regina.

if only she had been gay we really could have had it all.

2. rumpelstiltskin

the sweet spot with rumpelstiltskin for me was seasons one and two when he was unabashedly bastard, there was an attempt to make him sympathetic but nobody except belle actually liked him, you weren’t quite sure how much he knew, he was pulling all the strings, and he was just really fucking weird. it will surprise no one who follows this blog to hear that that is my type of wizard.

1. season one

it’s a good season. it’s a good season. there are some bad things about it, but it was extremely watchable. it was doing fairy tales with occasional disney nods in a (mostly) cohesive fashion. the lore and the magic hadn’t sprawled out of control yet. it had the strongest relationship, imo, between emma and henry, and emma and snow. as for iconic episodes, most of the greats are here, plus sebastian stan as the mad hatter and giancarlo esposito as a series regular. the crowning moment for me is the scene at the end of skin deep, when regina confronts gold in the town jail and he reveals that he remembers his real name (after beating the shit out of belle’s dad with his cane obviously). god. that is some good television.

worst 5 things about once upon a time

5. the adoption politics but everyone knows this one.

4. WASTING the talent

you had the love of my life sonequa martin-green and gave her nothing. you somehow scored oded fehr as jafar and gave him nothing. you had giancarlo esposito and regina literally forgot he existed. i will kill you

3. rumpelstiltskin.

it’s no secret that robert carlyle was acting circles around most of the cast; my opinion is that the showrunners felt that if they committed to either his redemption or his villainy, they would never find someone else with the talent to fill his shoes as bastard wizard. so they flip-flopped on him every half-season, which ruins his story longterm, slowly kills the light in robert’s eyes, and gets reallllllly old. it’s also no secret that my favorite rumpelstiltskin is bastard wizard, but they screwed over belle BIG time in the process and for that i will never forgive them.

also like. the rumpelstiltskin fairy tale is antisemitic to begin with and they did not minimize that by comparing him to a lizard and naming his storybrooke counterpart mr gold. they just. did that.

2. THE FUCKING NEVERLAND ARC GOD IN CHRIIIIIIIIIIIST THAT HALF-SEASON IS EXCRUCIATING

1. captain hook

*it’s my opinion that if you are bored, you’re watching a hook-centric episode. every time i dropped the show and forgot about it for months at a time, it was because i had been in the middle of an episode about hook and just could not get through it. how do i describe all the things i don’t like about what killian hook jones did to the show? with subpoints!

1a. the episode where gold gives him back his hand and he never changes.

**this is actually the same episode i mentioned about anna and, like i said, it’s one of my favorites and not at all boring. look, i’m not pretending this list isn’t subjective as hell.

remember when hook blackmailed mr gold into magically reattaching his hand, which gold has been keeping in a jar, because hook has a date with emma and wants it to go well? but also, gold tells him that if he reattaches his hand with dark magic, it will turn him evil? and then hook spends the episode doing evil things, only for mr gold to tell him “i was just messing with you! the hand was not evil, you gave yourself permission to be evil ;)”

yeah, that’s basically hook’s mo.

1b. episode where emma tells him his brother is lying to him and he learns the exact wrong lesson from this and never changes.

so emma goes to the underworld to get hook back after he dies (while being evil and doing villainous things). they find his brother down there, too, and emma senses that he has a dark secret (because he does) and is lying to them (because he is). but hook always idolized his older brother, so he won't believe her. when emma confronts the brother directly, hook interrupts to rant to her about how he knows what this is ~really all about.

actual dialogue:

HOOK: i don't need proof to know what's really going on here. emma, when are you gonna admit that this isn't really about my brother? EMMA: what else would you think it was about? HOOK: us. you think if you can prove that liam is a villain, then i’ll somehow feel like i was less of one.

who... would EVER come to that conclusion. and why is the lesson he learns at the end “perhaps i do deserve saving after all” (another direct quote), and not “NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE EMMA WAS LITERALLY RIGHT ABOUT YOUR BROTHER LYING TO EVERYONE”????

1c. the emma dark one arc, where hook never changes.

this would be the arc that leads up to the above underworld arc, and it is deeply dumb, entertaining, and hard to explain. suffice it to say, during this whole arc, killian (along with emma) has all the powers and ~~~Darkness~~~ of the dark one (formerly rumpelstiltskin). unlike emma, he is not aware of this for most of the season. the moment he finally finds out, he turns on emma and goes through with all the revenge plans he’s apparently been holding onto since season two.

it’s supposed to be sympathetic, because emma made this choice for him to be a dark one, which is clearly awful, when he didn’t want it. so i get that. but on the other hand, it is..... boring. because (a) it's nothing we haven't seen him try to do and fail at before, his motivations really aren't that complex. and more importantly, (b) he was the dark one the whole time! the only thing that changed, that made him act evil, was finding out about it. at that point, it's not the ~~~Darkness~~~ making you do evil things. it’s just you. because you’re a dick.

how is this arc resolved? well, he dies. after the underworld arc (which i very much enjoyed tbf), a sizable part of robin hood’s death episode is devoted to people telling emma to slow down and grieve for killian, since at least two arcs have revolved around her inability to let hook go when he is literally dying or dead. (it’s been said a million times but being his girlfriend really sucked the personality out of emma and i miss her.) and in the end he just... comes back anyway. no explanation given; he says it must be a reward from zeus for killing hades... while he and emma make out literally in front of the coffin of robin hood... who actually died fighting hades. killian died half a season before. while he was evil. and emma reverts to tearful girlfriend.

it’s insulting. it’s grating. and it is a Killian Hook Jones Guarantee that his episodes will involve some measure of this.

like, is it more or less the same shtick that the writers kept giving rumpelstiltskin, too? backsliding and screwing over his love interest who gets less and less say in the matter? yes. definitely. the crucial difference is that i, personally, love rumpelstiltskin, while i find hook boring and not self-aware. but clearly i have had a lot of fun complaining about him! again, this is not an objective list.

conclusions

this show ran for 7 years. it got cancelled not because it deserved to, but because no one liked the soft reboot. it was on until 2018.

#thoughts #once upon a time #long post

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fizzingwizard · 4 years

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In winter I discovered the “Anne with an E” series on Netflix. Of course, I was excited, because I grew up with Anne of Green Gables - I am pretty sure I never finished the series, but I read at least half the books. I loved the early ones but lost interest when she grew up. I was not one of those kids who idolized adulthood; looking back, most of the stories I loved best were about kids, so I think I just didn’t connect with Anne the same way when she became an adult. I still adore her story, though, and the first book in particular.

(actually, I wrote my senior thesis on kids in literature, meaning outside of children’s/MA/YA books. It was fun)

The show’s been canceled after season 3, which I’m sad about, but it’s mixed feelings tbh. As usual I have Thoughts.

So there are a lot of great things about “Anne with an E.”

the intro is beautiful and fitting

the casting is pretty well done, imo. Matthew and Marilla in particular were just perfectly cast.

the setting, costumes, etc are really gorgeous, I get such a fresh, pastoral sense looking at it

the appreciation for and development of my quirky girl Anne is there

there is a huge focus on female relationships and friendships without much in the way of cattiness

the addition of some new characters and themes both keeps an old story alive and relevant while also pointing out that what we think of as “modern” problems (lgbtqa+ representation, for instance) are really things that have existed throughout history

and on that, I loved all of the new characters, especially Bash, Mary, and Ka’kwet. Also Diana’s lesbian aunt is Lifestyle Goals.

But there are also things I definitely didn’t like.

the acting... like I’m sure all the actors are very good, but the script I think doesn’t play to their strong points. There’s a lot of stiffness. The character I think who does the smoothest job no matter what is actually Bash. It’s worst with Gil. He can act, I think, he seemed pretty good with body language, but I cringe when he talks. He only gets pure, wise things to say. He never sounds like a child. Everything he does is right. The same is true of Anne as well, and another thing that bothers me - as much as I appreciate her passion and sense of justice, I don’t like that it overrules her childishness so much of the time. But she’s the main character and has a lot more time to shine in many ways, while a lot of Gil’s storyline outside of Anne is new stuff not in the books, mainly not there to develop him.

three seasons of the show and very little of it seems to actually be from the pages of the books. They did the apple cordial scene, but there were so many others that Iooked forward to and they just didn’t bother with. Those scenes were the reason I loved Green Gables. I don’t mind that they changed characters etc so they could make room to include those so-called “modern” stories - like I said, that adds to its relevancy. But why cut out so much of what was good in the books?

because they skipped so much canon development, the rushed finale in season 3, presumably when they realized they were being canceled, has no tension or impact.

also because they skip so many good parts in the books, many episodes feel like a Hallmark TV show to me. Anne goes from quirky, clumsy, fiery, and interesting to the writers’ social issue megaphone. There’s got to be a way to Be Super Feminist or whatever without sucking all the life out of your main character. She’s not like that in *every* episode, but there are definitely those where you feel like you’re being hit on the head with a protest sign.

I hated them killing Mary, and I hated that they were setting up for Bash and Ms Stacy in season 4. I swear that’s what they were doing. I sensed it from the moment Mrs Lind says Bash has to find a new wife. The show was canceled, but already we’d had a sudden influx of significant scenes between Bash and Stacy that were nonexistent before Mary’s death, and these scenes were specifically themed around loss of loved ones, moving on, parenthood, and family. It was absolutely a set up. And given the incredible pace at which this show liked to tackle Social Issue after Social Issue, I have no doubt that “interracial marriage” was next on the list. Normally I wouldn’t care, except that it feels like Mary was killed in order to make room for this storyline! That’s my beef with it. I don’t think season 3 is all that well written, overall, to be honest.

But my biggest issue of all is with Ka’kwet. I remember reading about residential schools when I was a kid. They were horrifying. The show at least doesn’t mince how horrible it was. The introduction of Ka’kwet and her family was great. The inclusion of indigenous actors was great. The history is incredibly important. And then... we don’t even find out what happens to her. I read a bunch of people saying “That’s realistic! Those schools were terrible and letting her have a happy ending would have had white savior overtones and undermined how awful this was.” Perhaps if Anne with an E were a different kind of show, I’d agree. But everyone else got a satisfying conclusion. Even though Mary died, at least she found her happiness first, and her estranged son even comes back in the end to ask forgiveness at her grave and turn his life around. *Everyone* ends on a hopeful note, except the Mi’kmaq storyline, which ends with Ka’kwet imprisoned at school and separated from her desperate family. Even if you really believe the argument that “it’s realistic so it’s good,” the other issue is that that whole subplot was really short! It was suddenly introduced and had just got momentum when it fizzled out. I was SO confused in the final couple episodes because I could think about NOTHING but Ka’kwet and kept expecting news about her, one way or another, yet the show only wanted to talk about Anne & Gilbert, Diana and going to Queens, fricking Billy and Josie... Sorry, but it was a very, very bad look. I love Anne and Gil in the books, but when you put them up against the story of a 12 year old indigenous girl imprisoned by white people at a brainwashing school... I mean, how can you expect me to get all worked up over Anne’s note to Gil getting stuck under his boot when something much much larger is at stake?? Confusing. Exasperating. I am certain it’s this bad because of the cancellation, but I’m not super hot on the build up to it either.

Regarding Anne & Gil. I was confused through all three seasons about them. Their relationship did not remind me of what I remember from the books, but it’s possible I overlooked some things as a child, or just don’t remember it all. Anyway, I didn’t really care about their romance during the show. On the one hand, that’s good because it’d be a tragedy if Anne were spun into a romantic period chick flick. It’s not. But on the other, I can’t get excited about a character’s romantic journey if it’s underdeveloped. Not everyone may agree with me that it was underdeveloped, but I needed more - not even necessarily more romance, just more of what made Anne and Gil so magnetic to each other. I suppose it’s a moot point because in the books, it literally takes years before they even become close, and the show couldn’t wait that long. Plus they changed so many other things, why not this? That’s fine, but the why not spend more time of them too?

So... ultimately, I’m disappointed in this show. It’s not that it’s bad. It’s not. I enjoyed watching it, for the most part, though I had to struggle through some of the more Hallmark movie moments. It’s just not Anne. It had promise... it has some good scenes... but in changing so much, they lost a lot of what made the books magical. And a lot of the themes they took on appeared and then vanished, like Cole coming to terms with his sexuality and going to art school, and then only making cameos after that. (Though I highly appreciated that he went with Anne and comforted her when she returned to the orphanage.) It’s too bad. I don’t know how much other fans would agree with me - what I’ve seen online has mostly seemed positive. And it’s hard, because my overall opinion is a complicated “I feel positively towards this show but I’m also disappointed in it.”

But gotta be honest - I’d be much less disappointed if I hadn’t felt so let down with how Ka’kwet’s story disappeared. That I just can’t forgive.

#anne with an e

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pluviophile-bookworm · 4 years

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AWAE 1x3 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

I took a completely unannounced break from posting my reactions to AWAE. How rude of me. But I hope whoever reads these can forgive me, as I’m sure you’d understand that university is no joke. I’m not going to be posting for a while because I simply haven’t got the time to rewatch and write a reaction post, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. For now, I’m leaving you with my thoughts on 1x3 in celebration of the Netflix release of season 3.

I’m actually really excited to be rewatching this episode since I’ve forgotten quite a bit of its plot details. I do remember it marks the first appearance of Gilbert, all the kids, and the school setting. I’ve told myself many times before that if this show was just Anne and her friends going about their day-to-day life, I’d still watch it and love it. So let’s dive right in.

I’m so happy to actually see Anne smile from ear to ear while getting ready for her first day of school. She’s nervous, but excited, and she deserves something positive after being denied so many joys for so many years. True, it will not be easy at first, but I can’t help admiring her positive disposition even though she is several years behind and is still not exactly accepted into the society of Avonlea with open arms.

Anne dropping and breaking that cup reminds me of myself on my first day of middle school - even up to the hope that it’s not a sign of how the rest of the day is going to go. However, unlike me, Anne keeps up the positive attitude and, as I already said, I admire her for it.

As much as I understand why Anne feels the way she does about her looks (she’s only 13 and she’s probably spent all her life being told she was ugly because of her red hair and freckles, and she never found beautiful heroines in the books she read that had those features), I agree with Marilla on this - Anne should find a worthier overriding concern, or indeed feel lucky she doesn’t have to worry about anything bigger than that anymore.

Matthew and Marilla have only had Anne for what, a couple of weeks? But they already look like typical parents sending their only child off to school. I love them so much as parents. I just love them in general, too. Now that was a beautiful cold open, of the type I call “gold open”.

Talking to the trees as if they were fine ladies and decorating her hat with flowers is such an Anne thing to do... society may find it odd, but I love her for it. What can I say, I love this girl and that’s that.

As much as Diana wouldn’t admit it because she was raised by her mother, I believe she loved the way Anne looked with the flowers on her hat. I also believe that she would have very much wants to do the same, but would never be allowed to. Just saying that makes me go back to her awesome development throughout the majority of season 3... Anne has been a big influence on her, obviously.

“It won’t be long until my parents accept you” - well, they did, but they were still very disapproving of Jerry and his family just because they’re poor - which is probably not their fault. And I know it took saving Minnie May’s life for them to accept Anne, while Jerry never did that... but didn’t his family take Diana in when she was (supposedly) so badly injured she couldn’t walk? Isn’t that a good thing? and instead of accepting the Baynards, the Barries were even more terrible to them afterwards. Double standards much? Ok, I got sidetracked. Let’s go back to 1x3.

The whole scene of Anne meeting Moody and Charlie has me laughing out loud, from the “I’m Moody” - “I’m sorry” exchange, which makes me think that Moody’s name is dad joke material, to Diana’s “Don’t talk to the boys. They’re ridiculous.” And then she mentions Gilbert Blythe in a way that makes me think - am I correct in assuming she had some sort of feelings for him, too? Did every girl have a crush on him but repress it in favour of Ruby? What would Ruby say about that?

These girls have me in stitches, a much needed change from the tragedy and drama of the first two episodes. And then... there were many “started from the bottom” moments in this season, naturally, but I think Jane is an exception to the rule. She actually started out pretty well, standing up to her brother for a social outcast she just met, and then in season three she almost supports him in something much more terrible. She had potential. That’s such a glow-down. But hey, not everybody can be Prissy.

“Never let them know when you like them, either” Is that what you do with Gilbert, dear? Because I don’t think you’re very good at it. But it seems that Anne took that advice a bit too literally. That would explain a lot of her actions throughout the series.

Wait, Mrs. Andrews was one of the ladies who invited Marilla into the Progressive Mothers? Seems like Prissy turned out to be more her mother’s daughter than her father’s, then. But it’s a bit of a mystery to me how a progressive woman married a man who takes his son’s side when he assaults a girl... Seriously, the whole Andrews family is a mystery to me. First we have Prissy and Billy, who grow up to be like their mother and their father respectively - while being raised by both parents; and then there’s Jane whose character development is in the wrong direction if it’s there at all. I can’t figure them out at all.

Anne and Diana’s polar opposite reactions to long division is a perfect illustration of their vastly different backgrounds. While privileged Diana is long done with long division, Anne just realises how far behind she is because she’s spent her young life working in abusive households instead of getting the least bit of proper education. It just makes you wonder how she managed to become such an avid reader when she never seemed to have any proper formal education. But there is the case of Matilda Wormwood who taught herself to read even in the worst possible environment, so why not?

I’m glad the age difference between Mr. Phillips and Prissy is at least acknowledged by someone... while I wouldn’t quite describe him as “old”, he’s more than old enough to make a relationship with 16-year-old Prissy wildly inappropriate and an outright crime by today’s standards. I’m so glad things turned out the way they did for Prissy in the end.

Wait, so people back then used to think that a simple touch between a male and a female meant intimate relations? No wonder the girls reacted the way they did when the time came to dance with boys in season 3. This, along with the entirety of 3x5, is solid proof how badly these young people need proper sex ed... unfortunately, they won’t be getting it. They’re pretty much on their own when it comes to that.

I have no idea how i’m going to endure seeing Mr. Phillips for the rest of the season. And half of the second one. He’s one of those people that just make you wonder how on earth they ever became teachers. Like, even if he was somehow convinced he wanted to become one when he was young, how did people responsible for his higher education let him proceed to that profession with a character like his? Internalised homophobia or whatever Freudian excuse people may think of for him is certainly no excuse for the way he’s treating Anne in this scene. But can I take a moment to share a weird observation I just made - it just so happens that Anne starts her acquaintance with both her teachers in the series by spreading rumours - although accidentally.

“Are they in love?” - “When it comes to intimate relations, I’m not sure it matters.” Anne just spoke a dark truth without realising it. Although her knowledge is vague and filled with unusual euphemisms, she seems to have realised something important - love and physical intimacy aren’t mutually required in a relationship - unfortunately. I don’t even want to talk about it. Maybe I’m just not the right person to discuss such matters.

Talk about abusive household... even Anne, a very young girl with no sex ed, realised Mr. Hammond habitually raped his wife when he would get drunk... imagine the horrors the poor girl has endured in that family - and the horrors the members of the family themselves have had to go through on a daily basis... and now the girls are isolating Anne because of what she’s experienced... let’s skip ahead.

“Feminism... what exactly does it mean”? Well, ask Anne Shirley- Cuthbert - I’m sure she can explain it to you. Because you ladies insist on calling yourselves progressive, but some of you seem to not understand that true feminism is about treating all, and that means absolutely all women as equal to each other and to men.

“Especially for those who are unlikely to marry” - what exactly do you mean by that? Is a girl who doesn’t get married before 17 somehow less worthy of respect in your opinion? I don’t know exactly who that woman thinks she is, but I didn’t like the suggestion in her tone...

I’m just glad Anne plucked away the flowers from her hat before Marilla could see them... of course, she should be free to wear as many flowers on her hat and in her hair as her heart desires, but such is the situation that she can’t afford to do it right now.

Is this the same Rachel Lynde who represented women in a council made up entirely of men? The one who insisted on adding three more women to it? The one who offered Marilla as one of those women? Well, of course you could argue she is not the same Rachel - she was later changed by Anne, like pretty much everyone else in Avonlea. And I’m glad that such a change took place. Because imagine where Avonlea, nay, where the world would be without Anne Shirley- Cuthbert. How dare whoever is responsible for the cancellation take her away from us?

“I reckon every new idea was modern once - until it wasn’t.” Matthew is just about the best man of them all since day one. In Matthew we trust.

“You know, there’s a difference between having an opinion about something and pronouncing judgement” - Marilla just put Rachel in her place by pointing out the fine line between voicing your opinion and acting like your opinion is the only valid one. Good on you, Marilla!

Anne is so dedicated to catching up and advancing further in her education... no wonder she ended up tying with Gilbert for first place at the Queens exams. Speaking of Gilbert, I just can’t wait to see him for the first time again. Is that coming soon?

I just can’t help admiring Anne more and more with every scene... she’s so optimistic about each new day that it just gives me hope that the sun will, indeed, come out tomorrow. Oops, wrong optimistic red-headed orphan... anyways, if the sun doesn’t come out, there’s still Jerry’s refreshing sarcasm and snarky one-liners.

Billy has some nerve calling Anne out for saying “nasty stuff” about his sister - sure, what she said wasn’t the most innocent of things, but she certainly didn’t mean it that way. Besides, Billy himself will go on to do way nastier stuff to another poor girl - and never realise the dramatic irony. Because he’s the classic straight white entitled man, one of those people you just can’t like. No matter what they do.

There he is... couldn’t arrive at a better time, could you, Gil? This is one of my top 5 favourite moments of his throughout the entire series. It’s literally the equivalent of seeing a girl being attacked by a guy and talking to him as if he’s a civilised person instead of taking up his own aggressive tone, and I love that they chose to introduce Gilbert in such a context of all possibilities. “Any dragons around here need slaying?” Gilbert Blythe is a true knight in shining armour and he knows it.

“Miss? What’s your name? Miss?” And thus begins the story of the two most confused teenagers in Canada, the slowest of all slow burns, the love story to end them all. A shaky start, sure, but it’s a start.

“You can’t talk to Gilbert Blythe. You can’t even look at him.” Can you believe they’ve come from here to the point where they unanimously decided Anne was the only one who could ask Gilbert how babies are made... isn’t it ironic? But, I mean, from this episode all the way to the end, she did a very good job of convincing every one of them, including herself, that she didn’t care a single bit about Gilbert.

I just can’t get over Anne’s reciting... she’s certainly managed to get all eyes on her - but mostly Gilbert’s, with the most expressive pair of eyebrows above them... once again, Anne has made a strong impression... one that some liked and some will surely condemn - but it’s their loss.

There goes that scene... the notorious apple from the notorious Blythe orchard we never got to see Shirbert in. And I have to say, Anne might have made a good ventriloquist. Too bad she’s not supposed to talk to Gilbert because... girl code is a thing. They won’t accept her as one of their own, yet she must play by their rules. It just seems unfair.

Do the people of Avonlea have no sense of relativity and context? A bad rumour shouldn’t be taken so dramatically when it is a prepubescent girl who’s spreading it. She should be forgiven on account that she just didn’t know better. Instead, the very same story was repeated years later with Josie, where, again, nobody cared to gauge the circumstances - Anne only intended to defend Josie, not tarnish her reputation. It’s just the skewed priorities of the time that caused things to turn out the way they did.

And this is the little moment that most likely started the spark in Jerry’s mind about wanting an education - just a simple remark from Anne that happened to contain a word he didn’t understand. They do say that it takes just one spark to start a fire. This little boy of mine is going far. Not without Anne, though. The two of them took their time to warm up to each other, but who could stop them when they finally did?

Gilbert is positively going to waste all of his chalk if throwing it at Anne is how he intends to get her attention. I have to say pulling on her braid was a bit too childish for him based on how he was established, but hey, we all have our moments, and for Gilbert, this is one of the most iconic ones in the source material, so why would anyone change it? Anne’s story wouldn’t be authentic if she didn’t crack her slate over Gilbert’s head. This immortal Anne of Green Gables scene was impeccably delivered by the infinitely talented cast of AWAE.

Taking away the E and the Cuthbert from Anne’s name was a cruel thing to do. I can’t tell you how I trembled when I read this scene in the book years ago, just because of the E and how it felt like salt in the cuts left by what had just transpired, but now, the Cuthbert, too - the one thing that is solid proof to Anne that she belongs there - that she belongs to someone who finally accepts, maybe even loves her as she is - that, I have to say, is an awfully terrible thing to do to a young orphan if we look at it through Anne’s eyes. And let’s admit it, we all did in that moment if not in any other.

Storming off is what any sensitive young girl with a strong sense of justice like Anne would do in her place, and, to her credit, she did walk out in dignity at least up to the schoolhouse’s door. I have to say she handled the situation way, way better than I ever could have.

I mean, I would have reacted the same way as Anne when she said she was never going back to school, but let’s think for a second. There’s a little boy in the barn who would gladly take her place. Because going to school, however challenging at times, is a privilege. She should take a moment to catch her breath and realise that.

To sum up, in this episode we saw: Anne’s shaky first day of school; the introduction of all of Anne’s schoolmates; the accidental scandal concerning a supposed scandalous accident; the Andrews family never ceases to puzzle me; “progressive mothers” being not so progressive; Marilla and Anne face similar bad treatment from their respective peers; a shaky start to the slowest of slow burns; a spark is ignited in Jerry; a broken slate and more than one broken heart.

#anne with an e #anne with an e spoilers #awae #awae season 1 #anne shirley cuthbert #gilbert blythe #diana barry #jerry baynard #ruby gillis #moody spurgeon #jane andrews #billy andrews #prissy andrews #marilla cuthbert #matthew cuthbert #in matthew we trust #feminism #jnk watches awae

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purrincess-chat · 5 years

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Alright @felorteguimiguez since you wanted me to “reply” to your “constructive criticism” here we go. Buckle your seat belt, children, we’re going for a ride.

+ Honestly, this is ... not very good. the story turns Lila into a deceitful person for no reason, ingorando that his parents are probably negligent and that they are divorced (just look for the name of the mother of lilay and you will notice something in his last name), makes Marinette even more in a Mary Sue of what she already is and everything is summed up "to lie is bad, Marinette was right, Lila was wrong, all of Solciana and only Lila learns something in a *part 2 becuse i did not know the* limit bad way". There is no development in Marittene THAT STILL DOES NOT LEARN FROM THE VOLPINE EPISODE and everything that is solved magically. I like how Rose begins to suspect clear Remember, this is just a constructive criticism

In response to this post for those wondering

Alright, let’s get started because we have a lot to unpack here.

So, you’ve told me that you’ve seen Catalyst, so my first question is did you watch it with your eyes open? It’s pretty bold of you to claim that I turned Lila into a “deceitful person for no reason” when in fact, canon did that from the moment she was introduced. Now, you argue that her parents are “probably negligent” or divorced because “look at her mom’s last name” or some shit, but let’s analyze this situation with our eyes open, mmkay?

Man, that mom sure gives no fucks about her daughter. Saying that she’s worried about all of these akumatizations and that she’s gonna try to do something about it so her daughter can feel safe and go back to school. I mean it’s really top notch parental negligence if you ask me.

Look how much apathy there is in the way she lovingly kisses her hair.

God, what selfish mom puts lunch in the fridge for their child so that they have something to eat while their parent has to be away? I mean, my loving mother just made me fix something myself when she had to work. What does she think Lila is so stupid she can’t fix herself a sandwich so she has to do it for her? The gall of that woman.

In case you haven’t caught on, I’m being sarcastic.

Cause I don’t buy into your idea that Lila is neglected because nothing in this scene supports that. Sure, her mom might be busy with work, but she clearly pays attention to Lila and does her best to take care of her, Lila is just really good at lying hence why she has gotten away with her shit for so long. Which truthfully, her whole situation doesn’t make sense because how in the hell has she gotten away with not going to school for several months? Especially if the principal has been trying to contact them and been unsuccessful? I’ll tell you why:

You bring up her mother’s last name, but I invite you do to your research before spouting ignorance.

Her mother doesn’t have a name. The animators just got lazy and reused a character model. So, no, you can’t prove that her parents are divorced just because we don’t see her dad and her mom has a “different last name.” We don’t see a lot of people’s parents in this show. Does that mean that Rose doesn’t have parents? Or Nino? Nathaniel? Kim? Max? Marc? Is everyone just an orphan just because their parents don’t appear on screen? Do people only exist when you can see them?

Also I invite you to read this analysis on why the term Mary Sue is bullshit, and then I encourage you to remove it from your vocabulary. And if we’re going to complain about Marinette “not getting development” since Volpina umm

I can’t say I know what you mean?

Let’s take a look at what Marinette says in this scene in Frozer, shall we?

“Actually, girls I don’t think I want to cancel. Adrien really needs me, and if he wants my advice then why not? Afterall, it’s not an issue, and I’m definitely not jealous because there’s nothing between us.”

What lesson are you referring here to that Marinette hasn’t learned since Volpina? Jealousy certainly isn’t an issue anymore. So are you referring to her not being fond of liars? As if that’s somehow a lesson that she should learn? What lesson has she not learned since Volpina? She tried to apologize to Lila for yelling at her, but Lila refused to forgive her. Marinette is constantly apologizing for things that aren’t even her fault and taking the blame for things and learning lessons for other people. ALWAYS.

And she is the furthest thing from perfect. She gets hot-headed, she lashes out, she says things on impulse, time and time again she makes mistakes and then tries to fix them. God forbid someone else have to learn a lesson for once. Because, yes, Lila should learn to stop lying. She should have to tell the truth because her lies have reached an unhealthy level. She has literally locked herself in her house for months, lying to her mother about the school being closed, lying to her classmates and saying that she’s traveling, and for what? Canon never expresses a logical reason other than “she hates Ladybug.”

So does that make Marinette a “Mary Sue” just because she’s good at some stuff? And by some stuff I mean, video games and sewing? Because that’s kind of the only things that she’s been canonically shown to be good at? Oh no, god forbid that a character have hobbies. Honestly, if you’re going to criticize Marinette for being good a two whole things, maybe we should take some shots at Adrien for being good at l i t e r a l l y everything. Fencing, Chinese, basketball, lacrosse, piano, physics, poetry, being an oblivious fucking idiot. (I say that with love, Adrien) I guess I’m just a little confused as to what classifies Marinette as a “Mary Sue.”

I also find it bold of you to point out that “everything gets fixed magically” when that is literally the e n t i r e f u c k i n g p r e m i s e of this show. You know how much shit gets glossed over in this show for the sake of time? The post you are “constructively critiquing” was literally a thought that I had this morning that I decided to type up and post. It isn’t 100% fleshed out. It lacks a lot of details that would get added in later if I decided to write it, which since you like it so much, I might just fucking write it. It wasn’t meant to be some holy grail of writing meant to solve all of the world’s problems, it was literally just a casual idea that came to me. God forbid I post my fanfic ideas on my fanfic blog.

Just a bit of life advice, but generally speaking, unless someone asks you for criticism then keep it to yourself. If someone is just out here trying to have a good time then let them have a good time. You know how much shit I see on tumblr every day that I disagree with or people’s fics or ideas or concepts that I’m kinda meh about? A fuck ton. But do I go in and say “hey, this idea is bullshit and here’s why?” No! Because sometimes you just have to let people live their life. I never asked for people’s thoughts on my idea, I just said, hey here’s some shit I thought of this morning. Sure, not all of my ideas are good. In fact, I think most of them are garbage which is why I refer to most of them as diarrhea from my brain because that’s what they are, but ya know, sometimes I just want to put those ideas out into the world on my own blog because maybe someone will get a kick out of them. and no one fucking roasts me better than me because I’m a piece of shit and I know it

I have no fucking idea what show you’re watching, but if you’re going to comment on my posts again, I highly recommend you check out the show Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir. A decent chunk of it is on Netflix, and you can probably find the rest on Youtube. Be sure to keep your eyes open when you watch.

#ml salt #cat replies #don't come into a blog titled marinette defense squad and call her a sue #cause i know a lot of people who will willingly fight you for it #delete later #you interrupted my sims playing #so if you don't mind #i'm gonna go back to that

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robotnik-mun · 7 years

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Answer ALL OF THEM.

....oh you dirty *BITCH*....!

A cartoon you remember that nobody else does.

At times I feel like the only person on Earth who remembers Exosquad.

It’s a real shame, because Exosquad was one of the best toons of the 90s and proof positive that just because something was made to tie-in to toys, doesn’t mean that it has to be little more than a mindless extended commercial.

A cartoon you like but nobody else seems to.

That would be Beast Machines. A sequel series to the uber-good Beast Wars, this series caught a lot of derision for its shift in tone, design and character. Given the context though, I didn’t really see it as being ALL that divergent, with our heroes returning to a world where Megatron rules all and forced to learn how to use new, techno-organic bodies in order to combat him. Given the stress of the situation, I thought it wasn’t really THAT much of a stretch that the character’s personalities would change so much given the trauma of what had happened. Ah well.

A cartoon you don’t like but everybody else seems to.

That would be the Looney Tunes Show. At times I feel like the only person on Earth who just wasn’t impressed with it. I mean its not horrible or anything, but I feel like I’m the only person around who wasn’t all that wowed by it when it came out.

A cartoon you wish would be forgotten.

Sausage Party. For being a simplistic, puerile, overhyped puddle of mediocrity, it deserves to be swept into the dustbin of history.

The worst cartoon you’ve ever seen, and why?

You know, I had to give this some thought, but that would have to be Mr. Pickles. Mr. Pickles is basically an amalgamation of everything you could ever hate about ‘adult’ cartoons in the US- it’s ugly, unpleasant and pointless. The humor is one note and entirely reliant upon grossing people out in the most nauseating ways possible, and there is literally no one to root for- the dog is the Devil, every human being alive is monstrous, ugly and stupid, the only person who is clued in on this is a feeble old man who lives to be bested and tormented by the devil dog, and given how awful everyone and everything around him is you’re just left to wonder why he bothers. Everything about this series is just irredeemably, endlessly unpleasant.

The worst moment you’ve ever seen happen in a cartoon.

That would be the ‘Bunny Pajamas’ incident in Hey Arnold. See, there was this episode where quite by accident, Arnold discovered that Iggy, the coolest kid in school, liked to wear Bunny Pajama when sick. After having the information pried out of him by Sid and Stinky, Iggy forces Arnold to walk out in Bunny Pajamas in public as a means of forgiveness, utterly humiliating him in the process. What’s worse is that Sid and Stinky only *guessed* the truth. There was just... nothing after that. No resolution or anything. It was just a weirdly mean-spirited of an otherwise excellent series.

The worst thing you’ve ever seen happen to a cartoon that ruined it.

The love triangle nonsense in Legend of Korra. I just... couldn’t let myself be invested anymore after it, I just couldn’t. I learned to detest everybody involved, and so I left the series before it could fester any further.

A cancelled/forgotten cartoon you would bring back to television.

I have to pick just one? Geeze... well, I’m gonna break with tradition, and say War Planets. WE DESERVE AN ACTUAL RESOLUTION DAMMIT!

An animated character you remember but nobody else seems to.

Nilus the Sandman. I seriously feel like the only person who remembers that this guy was ever a thing.

An animated character you hate the most, and why?

Hmm... that would have to be Cheese. It was bad enough that this utterly useless and unspeakably obnoxious little cretin got more and more screentime on the show, but as time went on he practically became the mascot for Cartoon Network. He represents everything you could possibly hate about a character, and more importantly, the tendancy for executives to latch on to the lowest hanging fruit in the name of grabbing attention and views.

A non-animated property you would like to see as a cartoon

Oh, that’s easy- Starfox. I’ve always, always wished that there had been a Starfox cartoon out there and given the time the first game was released, I’m kind of amazed we never got one.

A trope or trend in animation that you dislike.

I’m not all that fond of the reatreat from action toons that has been going on for a while now, or the fact that cartoons are increasingly focused on comedy at the expense of everything else. It’s not so much that I don’t like comedy or anything like that, but I just prefer there to be a bit of variety and feel a genuine regret that things like Batman: The Animated Series or SwatKats are increasingly becoming a phenomenah of the past. Well, who knows, maybe Netflix will give toons like that a place to thrive- Young Justice will be coming back, after all. Here’s hoping that starts a trend, or rather, RE-starts a trend.

A currently airing cartoon that you know is going to be forgotten about in the future.

Pickle and Peanut. And thank God for that.

The best episode of a cartoon you really like.

Code of Hero, Beast Wars. One of the best Transformers anything ever, this is always gonna be a favorite.

The worst episode of a cartoon you really like.

Ro-Becca, from Sonic the Hedgehog. I love you SatAM, always will, but good GOD we could have done without that one.

A cartoon you feel deserves more recognition than it gets.

Disney’s Gummi Bears. Besides the fact that this series is what really got the ball rolling with Disney’s major TV rennaissance, the series itself is really quite incredible from both a visual and storytelling standpoint, especially with regards for the time that it was released. Despite having a fairly typical ‘Gang of Critters’ setup for the time, right down to each character being named for a trait (Gruffi, Tummi, Cubbi etc), every one of the Gummi Bears has a lot more going on than the surface would indicate, and there is a maturity to the worldbuilding and storytelling that belies what its name and appearance would suggest. Besides that, Princess Calla has to be one of the most badass princesses ever to grace television. This series is a gem, and its a shame it isn’t remembered and recognized more than it is.

A cartoon you feel deserves less recognition than what it gets.

Sausage Party. I’m mentioning it twice, but it really does not deserve the hype it got or the kind of reviews it got. In the history of adult oriented animation in the US, Sausage Party brings nothing new to the table beyond re-affirming that tired stereotype that ‘mature’ animation must be the most puerile and juvenile minded tripe out there. Everything from its supposed themes to the nature of its humor is just sub-par, and I will never, ever view it as anything more than a cheap gimmick film that banked on novelty rather than anything worthwhile.

The worst idea you can think of for an animated series.

Lara-Su Chronicles- The Series!

At what point did you realize a cartoon, any cartoon was starting to get bad?

Well, like many, I started to realize things were going downhill in the ‘03 Ninja Turtles cartoon once we reached the Flash Forward season. Now to be clear, I didn’t think it was a bad premise, and a lot of the ideas and designs in the season had a lot of promise. Unfortunately, that promise wasn’t really met- the season lacked a certain spark that those before it had. The magic was gone, replaced by something that just didn’t do the series justice. I lost track after that season, and from the looks of it I was right for doing so.

An experience with a cartoon you thought you were going to like but turned you away from it.

Wolverine and the X-men. See, I like X-men. I like Wolverine. So surely, I should like this right? Well, initially I did... but as time went on, Wolverine became less and less tolerable, particularly since it felt like Cyclops was getting shit on as a character to make Wolverine look better even though their dynamics were now completely opposite from what it had traditionally been. Which could have been interesting mind you, but nothing of worth was really done with it. I abandoned the series and never looked back.

Something you would like to see more than anything in a cartoon.

Hmmm... this is a fandom specific one, but honestly? I’d love to see a Transformers cartoon that does the old ‘Cybertronians Become Human’ bit, but to *actually* do it and explore the concept in a mature way, to explore how immortal war machines respond to suddenly becoming frail, short lived humans and all too aware of the fact, as well as learning how to endure a human existence. Maybe someday it will happen, but for now, I can but wish.

What do you feel makes a cartoon forgettable?

I think more than anything, writing and plotting can be the key to if a cartoon is remembered or forgotten. Being overly reliant on stock plots and playing it too safe more than anything can make a cartoon bland or cliched. I mean don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot more to it than that, but this is I think more than anything is what leads to a lot of cartoons winding up forgotten.

#sally-mun

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rantsaboutponies · 7 years

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Equestria Girls: Legend of Everfree

Can they please stop making these? I don’t budget my time well, it’s 2:30 in the morning, I want to go to bed. Just remember, I’m doing this for YOU guys. For YOU guys.

For the record, I wait until the last minute to write these reviews because they usually take almost three times the length of the movie to write. It’s also why I can’t watch them on TV; I have to pause constantly.

First of all, I didn’t hear jack shit about this movie. I think the viewership for each one really is dwindling. I barely even saw any porn of it! That is surprising!

Second of all, was this one ever available on Netflix? I swear I streamed the third one there, but now it doesn’t even have a listing (nor does the fourth one). Hopefully the version I got is the uncut version (it’s not a TV rip, and the runtime does match), but if I left anything out, be sure to tell me. Oh, and I’ve given up on that list of “things that all these movies do that directly contradict the fact that this universe intersects with the pony universe” that I tried to carry over into the second movie’s review, so keep that in mind.

Oh, and can anyone let me know if they see a trailer for My Little Pony: The Movie in the theater? It comes out in four months, and I’ve been at almost all of the kids’ movies this year (yes, even Rock Dog, which actually wasn’t half-bad, and The Boss Baby, which was not as bad as the trailers made it look but was still the worst of the kids’ movies I’ve seen this year [which isn’t actually surprising, since there have only been three]; I’m still not seeing Smurfs, though, and I’m sure as fuck not seeing Spark: A Space Tail), and I’ve seen nothing about it. I’ll make a separate post about that closer to October.

All right, the review proper starts...NOW!

I said it before, and I’ll say it again: DO THESE HIGH-SCHOOLERS HAVE PARENTS?! SERIOUSLY, WHERE ARE THEY?

Thirty seconds. Thirty FUCKING seconds. That’s how long it was before Pinkie Pie made me want to strangle her. Literally. Thirty seconds. Her first line. Fantastic impression you’re making on me, movie.

All right, Rainbow Dash throwing a picture of herself into the suitcase is certainly part of the annoying one-dimensional writing that she (and really, all of the characters) has had in these movies, but...I’m sorry, I still laughed. Forgive me.

Wow, the...uh...plot just started right away, didn’t it? I’m so confused. I sure hope this is a dream sequence because otherwise this is really stupid. Oh, okay, it was. Never mind.

Ah, the indie rock craze has finally hit Human Equestria. You guys are, like, five years behind on that, you know. I gotta be honest, though, I kinda like this theme song. I feel like it would sound better with different singers, but I’m digging this so far. Maybe this movie won’t be so bad? Ah heh heh heh...

I briefly forgot that Human!Twilight’s Spike was magically given the ability to talk at the end of EQG3, so I was thrown off there for a second. I just realized, though, that that means that they don’t ever have to have any connection to Pony!Equestria ever again. Smart idea, but Pinkie’s summary of the previous three movies immediately afterwards negates what you were going for there (especially since none of that has anything to do with the plot of this movie directly).

“You’ll get used to it.” Yeah, you’d better get used to your “friends” talking shit about you to your face. The second movie was full of that. *sigh*

Oh, goody, Professor Umbridge is the camp director. Please tell me she gets dragged off by centaurs at the end of this movie, too.

“Stay away from the rock quarry. That’s off-limits. Unless, of course, you’re a main character, in which case the plot will facilitate that you go there at some point during this movie, probably somewhere near the end. Just a heads-up.” (Also, “rock quarry” is redundant, dumbasses.)

Actually, the word “sapphire”’s link to the Latin “sapphir” (or “sappir” or “sapphīrus”) links to the Ancient Greek “sáppheiros”, meaning “precious stone” or “gem”, which probably linked to a Semitic source (similar to Hebrew’s “sappī́r”, referring to lapis lazuli), but may be related to a non-Semitic source such as the Sanskrit “śanipriya”, meaning “dark-colored stone” or, literally, “dear to Saturn”. And, as an interesting sidenote, the Ancient Greeks didn’t even have a word for “blue”. Also, rubies are not just sapphires “with chromium”; rubies are corundum with chromium. Sapphires contain other impurities like titanium, iron, or magnesium (which give them any of a number of non-red colors) that rubies may not contain at all; since chromium is what colors them red, chromium is the only impurity required to make a ruby. So, in other words, shut your fucking face, you smug dipshit.

By GOD, I hope Gloriosa is the villain because I really hate her.

See, even though Filthy Rich is, well, filthy rich and could very easily be an upper-class dickhead, the show never made him one. He’s clearly not aware what an utter bitch his daughter is, since he punished her for it the one time he found out, but he has always been depicted as someone who cares about his community and acts kindly towards the other ponies in the town without being condescending or displaying any obvious class distinction. It is something notably unique about the show and is something I’ve actually admired amidst its recent waning quality.

The people writing this movie apparently didn’t know that and just went, “His name is Filthy Rich? He must be the VILLAIN!” Goddamnit, you fucking worthless TV movies.

Oh, man, oh, man, please tell me that Princess Celestia is holding a flute there in the background because she’s telling a “This one time, at band camp” story. I’ve already made that joke at least five times in my head by now, so please tell me I’m justified.

Holy shit, look at that setup! These girls get massive tents with only two people in each and with FULL-SIZE BEDS! So much for “roughing it”! How big is this camp again? This must take up a ludicrous amount of space.

Please tell me they’re not going to do Sunset Shimmer’s storyline again with Twilight. Come on.

No, Sunset, if there’s anyone you should be nervous around, it’s Pinkie Pie.

Okay, Fluttershy’s line about “birds that land on your finger” WAS funny until you felt the need to explain the joke with Rainbow Dash’s “I think that only happens to you.” Rule #1 of comedy: Don’t! Explain! The joke!

Does Vinyl Scratch have an amazing wireless connection, or do her headphones themselves contain an MP3 player? I don’t see those working any other way.

Can I punch Timber in the face yet?

How the hell would you make that dock into a catwalk? The only way that would work would be if either the models entered from or the audience were seated in the water. Otherwise, the models will be walking away from the audience and not easily visible for the majority of their time on the runway. You’ve gotta think about logistics, Rarity!

PUNCH.

Hmm...Gaia Everfree’s story is kind of weak. And arbitrary. “YOU CAN’T STAY!” “Oh, please let us stay!” “WELL...OKAY. BUT YOU’LL HAVE TO LEAVE! EVENTUALLY! AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE!”

25 minutes in is a little late for your first song, guys. I was starting to think this wasn’t going to be a musical.

Oh, thank GOD, Timber is a villain, too. That means we’ll get to WATCH HIM DIE. ... Okay, fine, wishful thinking. Hell, being the villain in these movies (or on the show) pretty much guarantees that you’ll get even more screentime in later installments. (Also, he apparently can’t hear anything that’s right next to him as long as he’s offscreen. Right.)

Of course, the scene in the cafeteria reminded me of this.

And in the next scene, it’s impossible not to think of this.

So... Rarity’s just...useless. That’s been established, right?

Goddamnit, Pinkie, stop being a menace! You almost killed all of your friends! Again!

Hmm...this song sounds like a really lame, low-rent version of this.

Wha? You mean the obvious villain is obviously a villain? NO. (Except I guess that means that Timber isn’t a villain as well. Damn.)

Boy, it’s really convenient that Gloriosa is having these extremely lengthy and detailed flashbacks while they all just stand there, totally unbothered by Sunset zoning out and holding onto her arm.

I do like that they made dummies of Twilight and Sunset just because they weren’t there for the dress rehearsal. How long do you think that took?

“I GOT THIS!” That’s got to be one of the weakest things I’ve ever heard that someone tried to turn into a catchphrase.

Well, looks like someone really liked Maleficent.

I gotta ask...has there ever been a good villain song in the MLP movies or the show?

“Oh, no! She’s forming a wall that clearly has an upper bound! If only we had some sort of appendages that we could use to project our bodies upward! No, I think we had better wait until the vines completely form a dome over us. Surely that will work.”

I think the writers are trapped in this paradox of knowing that they have an actual interesting character in Sunset Shimmer but being forced to focus all their efforts on the Mane Six because they’re the main characters, despite having no personalities to speak of.

“What are these?” “I’m not sure! But clearly they will be in stores alongside the release of this movie!”

Ah, so you got out of the logistical failure of trying to figure out how the dock could act as a runway by canceling the fashion show altogether! Wow.

Okay, this song is definitely one of the better ones in this movie series, but holy crap, get some stronger singers. I mean, all right, I know you can’t, but...can’t you, like, release an official cover of this song recorded by an actual singer, like Disney does with their animated musicals?

I do always love the moronic cliché of the villain showing up at the ending celebration for no logical reason other than to scowl at the protagonists and storm off angrily.

You know, there are only so many features and accessories and superpowers you can add to these characters before you start running out of places to put them.

*GASP* OH MY GOD THAT ENDING CLIFFHANGER MEANT NOTHING! Seriously, fuck off with that shit.

And of course, the stinger has to show that Pinkie Pie always ruins everything. ALWAYS. ALWAYS.

All right, so in conclusion...these movies are all the same. I mean, I think we kind of established that already, but man...

Can we just give Sunset Shimmer her own movie? One where she just fucks off by herself and finds better friends with actual personalities and they all do something interesting? Can that be the next theatrical movie? Please?

#my little pony equestria girls legend of everfree #my little pony equestria girls #equestria girls legend of everfree #my little pony #mlp #equestria girls #legend of everfree #mlp spoilers #spoilers #equestria girls 4 #eqg #eqg4

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abigfuckingbully · 5 years

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Call Out Cancer 1

Call Out Cancer/How I became a ‘stalker’ I knew her for 8 years before we’d ever fucked. We both shared a mutual attraction the entire time we’d known each other but she had a boyfriend the entire time I’d known her so the mutual sexual attraction remained ‘hidden’, as hidden as any sexual attraction could be. People know and notice it but remain committed enough to abstain from acting on the impulse. Only an idiot would hold the belief that it’s untrue that every guy wants to fuck your girlfriend. They almost all want to fuck your girlfriend except maybe people who know and care about you. Because respect for men usually comes with a disinterest in their partner. Unless yr singing “Jesse’s girl” or “My best friends girl” or some pathetic shit like that. It was good timing, I had just cheated on my girlfriend for the third and final time before being exposed. I don’t know how she knew but the girl L, who I slept with called me and as soon as she hung up my girlfriend at the time knew and asked directly, “Did you sleep with L?” I suspected my friend J ratted me out to Remy. I tried breaking up with Remy but she convinced me to continue to be with her. I at that point decided I no longer gave a fuck and though I could eventually let the rotting limb of our relationship fall apart so that I could regain: myself! I was sick of the pressure of having a hot wealthy girlfriend had on my psyche. I was failing to provide for myself and I hated who I was being, being taken care of by a woman who needed me to get my shit together. She loved me but I don’t miss her. Anyways, we broke up. After breaking up/cheating on her and being exposed, I headed back home to live with my Momma. Back in San Jose, where 'C’ who I had known for 8 years and knew wanted to fuck me lived. ’M’ international artist and Instagram phenomena, who I also would later start fucking again, got me 'C’s’ phone number. I made sure to text her as soon as I got in. C I mean. Messaging C was easy for me and she arranged to meet me within the week. I started seeing C. As soon as we slept together she got weird and said that she wanted us to be discrete. That she didn’t like the idea of being open about us being together. I being a pussy at this time, passively agreed to this 'idea’ though I do remember asking 'Why?'She explained that she did break up with 'R’ but 'R’ was still a part of her life and she didn’t want him to be totally aware of 'us.’ I can’t remember whether she wanted to hide it or just not announce it but I shouldn’t have agreed either way. But being squeamish at/around age 22 about conflicts with women, I passively entertained an affirmative to this idea. I should already see I’m being groomed but not enough experience with sketchy/self centered women made me a really naive and “nice” guy. (“You’re so affectionate.” she would say after we fucked. Like caring about who you’re fucking was weird/gay.) I continued sleeping with her regardless, ignoring the important gut feelings that I was going to be fucked over by this person/these people. But I’m 22. I don’t exactly 'get it’. After beginning to fuck her I would have nightmares in her bed. I once had a nightmare where a man appeared suddenly at the foot of this bed. (in a punk house/shed) with an enormous sledge hammer. The lighting was pink/red and as the man lifted the sledge hammer to bash my brains out. I woke up screaming, shot up in her bed, surrounded by three tick infested dogs, the breeds a mystery to me. It was only a few times out before things god bad. I remember being half naked in her bed when she explained to me that her boyfriend was texting. She informed me of the text. “He’s saying that you fetishize women of color.” “What is he even basing that in?” I asked. “Because I’m dating you?” “I don’t know. I don’t agree with it.” This was another point in which I clearly should have fucked off. It’s clear that this guy is desperate to do/say anything out of jealousy to get this girl to stop fucking me. I was a victim of the abuse of call out/cancel culture. Who the fuck could even reason with these people. Their politics were so backwards–they were literally masking personal cowardice in the idea of a progressive politic. The dudes clearly possessive of your pussy and should be addressed. But here I am, an innocent man, suddenly on trial. Are these people retarded? Call out culture wasn’t invented to keep men out of yr ex-gf’s pussy. We continued seeing each other. I don’t know why I didn’t see this as a potential end. But I didn’t. I was clearly committed to the relationship. I mean I knew her for 8 years. She was a 'progressive’. She wouldn’t treat me like fucking dirt. She knows how fucked up it would be… II. One day we met up with each other at her place. She was having a lot of friends over. I knew her friends and I trusted them. They were also 'progressives’ and I felt that would warrant proper treatment. My life would not become a Bush song. Or so I thought. We hung out that day. A walk around San Pedro Square and St. James then out to burritos at La Victoria’s. They were talking food quality. Apparently she was an aficionado. I had hardly ever complained about food so being aware of food quality was low priority. I grew up to poor to give a fuck. I wasn’t going to notice anything that wasn’t inedible. By mid afternoon we met up at her house. She was invited to a show that was going on that day in Oakland but because she was having car trouble she said she wouldn’t be going. So, I, after everyone offered her a ride, and she would deny them, I thought, maybe, I know it’s crazy, that we would keep hanging out. I asked. She said yes. So we started getting settled into her bed, in her shed, the bed I have nightmares in when I stayed/slept over. We were watching Netflix. I can’t remember what but as we were watching she got a text. It was from her ex boyfriend. He was offering her a ride. I understood that her ex boyfriend was going to be a part of her life but I wasn’t cool with being a stand-in on-call for him. She 'asked me’ if it would be okay if she went to the show. I was too ashamed to voice ti at the time but I felt really annoyed that I was expendable and that we just agreed to hang out but now that her boyfriend/ex boyfriend was free, I was disposable. I got ready to leave because it’s not a self respecting position to tell a woman disinterested in you/oblivious to your being that it actually pisses you off that she’s renegging. I left without saying how I really felt. Not because I"m a coward but because the situation didn’t make sense to me until I was separated from it. I explained my feelings about the whole thing in text as I was waiting on the bus bench for the 22. I was getting a sunburn and getting pissed off. That plans with me meant nothing. I told her how I felt respectfully but angry. She didn’t respond well. If I remember right she invalidated my feelings by saying I didn’t have a right to be angry. As if women I fuck determine this right. I said some harsh words, got home, thought about it more,and got even angrier. That’s when I resorted to Facebook messages to explain my feelings. I was even more pissed and less eloquent. The responses to my feelings were vague and hugely political. It wasn’t a political issue. Which is when I realized how often the idea of the personal being political was abused to avoid dealing directly and simply with a relationship issue.(This would be when I realize how rare it is to actually meet a feminist and not a person who used feminism to was their hands of the consequences of their decisions.) (Could never be fully 'feminist’ after this.) (But it gets worse.) She ended up made at ME after I tried to explain how fucked up it is that plans w/ me are dependent on if her ex boyfriend was/is available. She said I was being 'abusive’. I had done nothing but voice my anger and she reiterated that I didn’t have a right to my anger. The browbeating worked. I was young and a feminist so I started to think I was 'overreacting’ and was in the wrong. Even then it was obvious I Was getting the shaft. Next time I saw her I said sorry. She said, “I don’t want to be anyone’s emotional punching bag.” She misused it. As if voicing my anger to a woman was the equivalent of abuse. As soon as my apology came out I realized how fucked up this idea was. No matter how angry I was it seemed that having a spine and not being overly grateful for getting pussy had landed me in a category of 'abusive.’ Even if I had said, “FUCK YOU YOU ARROGANT FUCKING CUNT,” Which I never said, this would still be, to me, within the realm of an okay expression of anger. I never let the awful things women have said to me in anger get me down no matter how bad it got. I would never claim 'abuse.’ I would recognize systemic shit talk or violence as abuse. All other expressions including a woman pitching shit at me was welcome Not because I"m a submissive but because I had seen in my life people spend endless amounts of time trying to be intelligent and articulate about what angered them only to find them wildly unhappy and just as repressed as if they’d said nothing at all. It was a greatly misunderstood virtue to be pissed and just say what you feel/think. People should have the tolerance to be prepared for the worst a human can say and return to normal after a conflict. Especially being fucked with at this point. But I said sorry to her at a restaurant. A jazz club that I am now banned from for something I would do during a literal psychotic break. Fuck Stritch and the cokehead/failing musician who runs it. She was with her friends who were also arrogant enough to forgive me. After this we stopped spending time with each other. I don’t remember what happened or how it happened I was too mad. I had borrowed her Anne Sexton book after sharing the poems I wrote her in my book, 'Dumb Stuttering Free’ that I would plug here but it’s now extinct/out of press, and that was the end of seeing her. I would message her again feeling worse than ever about how this person was treating me. She wouldn’t meet me in person to talk about it. I pressed the issue in FB messages. Nothing would be resolved. Instead I would be banned from the cafe this woman worked at. I’d been writing at that cafe since before she was an employee and I didn’t understand how having sex with someone then pissing them off was grounds to get permanently banned from the space. I knew that if the roles were reversed no one would even give a fuck that I’d fucked this person and there wouldn’t be any issue of 'being in the same space.’ This seemed like something a child would do. III. I got back from my 3 months in New York only meeting Sarah Jean out of the Bunny Rogers, Sarah Jean, Lucy K Shaw, and Gabby Bess I went looking for at Mellow Pages when I went. I lost my mind (literally) and also lost my job stealing from work. I was caught the same day I’d secured my own room as well. So I gave it three months. Now that I was at home again I knew I was going to be in the same town as this bitch for a while. I thought I Would make an effort at friendship/peace again. I still had her boring Anne Sexton book so I went to the cafe people hadn’t informed me officially of being banned from, (again, these people seem oblivious of how to do their own community policing,and I will never trust women again.) I went in with the book to return it and make peace. She 'wasn’t there’ so I went the next day as I was told to by a girl who worked there. Because 'C’ the cunt who gaslights me, would be here the next day. That day I would realize that the bitch had in fact been there yesterday but was too spineless to come upfront so her obese friend 'O’ approached and explained I was banned from the cafe. 'O’ was 'C’s roommate at the punk house she lived at. I have never hated women more. To boycott this treatment, I would visit the cafe during a night of one of their events with the band Wild Moth, friends of mine, playing. I knew it was likely I would get kicked out but I wanted to protest this evil bitch’s treatment of me and her alarmist position–I went early to the show. Her friends who still all liked me were there and we hung out before the show. The bitch who’d accused me of stalking her and had invited me to stick a knife in this bitch’s side, eventually came. Like a crazy person, she sat down, noticed me, then started growling and yelling. She walked huffy into the venue/cafe. Then the band came out. They gave me a friendly treatment. They asked me how I was/how writing was going and didn’t treat me like a stalker. But…they did ultimately explain that I couldn’t go to this show and that I should go to the next one. This was when I stopped supporting them. There’s no reason to be friends with people this spineless. Pandering to the human baby…it was this point that I had stopped being a feminist. That’s how I became a stalker. Other businesses were informed of my behavior. I was despised and lied about throughout my town. That’s how I became a 'stalker.’

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jessicakehoe · 5 years

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How Do We Feel About Aziz Ansari’s Return to Netflix?

The ranks here at FASHION are not filled with men. Shocking, right? But there are one or two (there are actually, literally, two). Naturally, when a question about male/female dynamics arises it’s only fair that one of them stand in for the members of his gender and provide some insight. Our last topic of conversation was about Bohemian Rhapsody’s controversial director Bryan Singer, and today we’re talking about the fact that Aziz Ansari is returning to Netflix with his first post-#MeToo comedy special. Two of our staffers—from the men’s corner, Greg Hudson, and from the women’s, Pahull Bains—talk it out.

Pahull Bains: It’s a familiar tale: men screw up, disappear for a while, and return stronger and more powerful than ever. Some men, like Trump, don’t even have to do the disappearing bit. They just get stronger and stronger right in front of our eyes. It’s like watching Mark Ruffalo transform into the Hulk, only with less grunting (and a lot less saving-the-world).

Anyway, the latest disgraced man to return is Aziz Ansari. Next week, he’s back on Netflix with a new comedy special, directed by Spike Jonze (is it just me or is that a weird choice?). Aziz Ansari: Right Now was filmed during the Brooklyn stops of his ‘Road to Nowhere’ tour, which has taken him everywhere from Mumbai to Sydney to London to Austin over the past several months. Now, we know comebacks are inevitable. But because we’re either eternal optimists or just absolute idiots, we seem to hold out hope that these disgraced men will return as chastened, repentant, more respectful versions of their earlier selves. Louis CK has already proved us wrong. So what can we expect of Aziz?

Judging by the reviews coming in from various international outlets as he makes his way across the globe, the comedian who built a career on being a woke ally is dancing around the elephant in the room instead of mining it for thoughtful, introspective material. Reviews have been mixed—Vulture called his New York show “sombre,” while the Guardian deemed his London set “combative”—but a word that comes up often is bitter. It shows up in a New Yorker review of his New Haven show, in a Cut report from a show in Massachusetts, and a Quartz piece from Connecticut.

So rather than grapple with the complex gender dynamics, social norms and patriarchal traditions that landed him on Babe.net’s homepage, he seems to have directed his energy towards criticizing his critics. Well not his critics necessarily but in general the “really hardcore woke people” trying to outdo each other in a “secret progressive Candy Crush” game. In short, he’s angry with people for being angry, instead of taking a beat to think about why.

I’m not quite sure what to expect of this documentary of his Brooklyn shows but considering he knew they were being taped, I’m betting he brought a fair bit of introspection and penitence into this one. Because when you’re plotting your return to the small screen for the first time after a scandal of this magnitude, you make damn sure that you look good. What do you think? Or rather, what are you expecting to see?

Greg Hudson: I’m not looking for points or anything, but when I have an internet-based written discussion with a co-worker, I like to read their thoughts before responding. I know it’s not required–after all, listening before we speak isn’t really something most men “do”– but I’m glad I did. Because this is hella interesting!

Aziz Ansari’s inclusion in the #MeToo narrative was always ambiguous: some people–and not just dudes–saw it as a sign that the movement was overreaching and overcorrecting, whereas as others saw it as an opportunity to call out and discuss the more insidious, banal side of misogyny that allows men not to think about their partner’s comfort and pleasure, so long as they don’t explicitly shout NO TOUCHING! Even those who were ready to cancel Aziz along with all the other MeToo Men would begrudgingly admit that what he did was in a different category than what Weinstein, or even Louis did. But…there was still a shadow cast over him.

What I find so interesting is that, more than a year later, Aziz Ansari is apparently still up for interpretation. (Granted, that’s true of literally everything in the world: it’s all subject to individual interpretation and meaning). Maybe we read different reviews of the same events, but I think we saw a lot of the same stuff, and yet our conclusions are not the same.

When I read about shows from his tour, sure the writer mentioned that she sensed “a bitterness emanating from the stage,” but I wonder how much that was confirmation bias. I wasn’t there, nor do I know what the writer’s beliefs were going in that she was looking to confirm. But, for me, the lines that stood out from that review were the ones that seemed to contradict the idea he was traveling down the same path as Louis. Namely: “Unlike Louis C.K., who seems to have given up on trying to win back the affections of people who wrote him off… Ansari’s set had moments of genuine contemplation.”

For me, who (full disclosure) felt that Aziz didn’t deserve to be in the #MeToo conversation at all [and we can totally re-open that discussion if you’d like!], it sounds like the theme of the show is totally appropriate. “The set revolved around the question of cultural forgiveness, and the idea that we’re all flawed people who make mistakes and that the knee-jerk ‘cancel culture’ that we all participate in only serves to exacerbate divisions.” Isn’t that an entirely appropriate angle to take? It’s not claiming innocence, nor is it raging bitterly against progressive politics. It’s pointing out a social issue that is surprisingly hard to address: people who pride themselves on doing the right thing have an almost impossible time admitting that they are actually doing harm.

And yet, more and more stories are coming out about the real world pain and disproportionate punishment that arises from cancel culture. I don’t think talking about that, especially if it’s with humour and humility (which his sets are, according to the reviews), should be seen as bitterness. Nor should we see this as an example of how naively, foolishly forgiving we are to men who screw up.

We all talked about how the danger with #MeToo was that there was neither a process in place to adjudicate complaints, or to provide a path to redemption. (Actually, even saying that sounded like a defense of bad behaviour in the moment). If we don’t allow someone like Aziz, who never denied his actions, who apologized both publicly and privately, and who clearly had made being an ally not just a talking point in his comedy, but a part of how he worked, the freedom or space to “come back,” then is the movement really about justice?

PB: I feel like his take on the current culture of “cancelling” people would be stronger if he actually acknowledged his place in it. I don’t think we can hope for any progress if we sweep things under the rug or try to address things in blanket terms rather than specific ones. I know we both agree that what’s being lost in present-day discourse is nuance, and how can you have nuance without specifics? I also find it odd for a comedian who very publicly mines the personal and private (talking about his grandmother’s Alzheimers, his immigrant experience etc) to suddenly take a giant step back from the personal at this crucial moment. As a person who’s a medium-level fan of Aziz’s (I really enjoyed Master of None but haven’t seen much else that he’s been in), I think I would admire and respect him a whole lot more if he addressed all of this straight up, if he talked about how cancel culture suddenly got real for him when the Babe piece came out, and how it made him think about wokeness being taken to an extreme. (As well as his own, former, place in our culture as a woke poster boy.) I guess what I’m saying is I’d love to hear from him why he thinks he doesn’t deserve to be cancelled, instead of just railing nebulously against the system that might be trying to do so. (And I don’t even agree that it is!)

A couple of reviews mention Aziz briefly touching upon the experience with Grace: “Ansari recalled a conversation in which a friend told him it made him rethink every date he’s been on: “If that has made not just me but other guys think about this, and just be more thoughtful and aware and willing to go that extra mile, and make sure someone else is comfortable in that moment, that’s a good thing.””

Now I’d love to hear him riffing more on that. You mentioned how Aziz had made being an ally a focal part of his work, and I’m curious: how do you see him continuing to be a feminist ally if he doesn’t publicly—through his comedy, which is the easiest way to reach millions of his male fans—address what he’s learned and how he may have changed? If all his fans take away from these comedy sets is that it’s the people who are wrong for overreacting, that’s not correcting anything at all is it? I just don’t see how he’s going to hold on to his woke badge if he refuses to engage meaningfully—head on—with this issue.

GH: Obviously, this is all hypothetical at this point, since we’re basing our opinions about a comedy special we haven’t seen on a handful of small write ups that describe snippets of new material that may or may not have survived long enough to be in the show. So, we don’t know if he digs deeper into that specific event, or his general complicity in a patriarchal society. Maybe he does and it’s masterful!

But, my question is: why is his woke card at risk? Divorced from the social context of the time, what must he address, reckon or wrestle with? To me, this a reminder of the fungibility of memory. Tests have shown (I know because I spent about ten minutes Googling it) that people will still make inferences and judgements based on misinformation, even after they’ve been told that the information they were given was inaccurate.

So, if a group of subjects were told about a house fire, and then told about how there were highly flammable paints and chemicals in the garage before the fire started, they understandably infer that those paints had a hand in the fire. Interestingly, and kind of distressingly, even after subjects were told that at the time of the fire those paints had been removed (so they definitely weren’t a catalyst), subjects still surmised that the fire was probably caused by those damn paints and things.

While Aziz’s story was unfolding, there was a general acceptance that this wasn’t as serious as all the other stories, but that acceptance started feeling as genuine as “I’m not racist, but…”. Aziz isn’t as bad as Louis, but….

And so now, that’s how we remember the story. We know he didn’t do anything super serious, but it all happened at the same time, and we remember the outrage and so…now Aziz has to be a proxy–or at least a pilot–for every other man who has been shamed.

Still, one might argue that the conversation about entitlement, consent, communication and sexual privilege needed to happen, and so any negative consequences experienced by Aziz was justified (and likely negligible). I think that’s probably true–or rather, I believe the people who take this stance. But if that’s the case, then it shouldn’t be about Aziz, and whether he’s grown now.

Stipulated that you may not be able to write in Aziz’s voice, what does him reckoning with his actions even look like? I’ve started to notice, as we talk about presidential candidates and their personal and professional histories, that when a pundit says that X will really have to reckon with Y, what they really mean is that Y should disqualify X. The idea of reckoning is so vague as to be meaningless. When we don’t have a firm definition of what “reckoning” looks like, let alone when it is done sufficiently, then the whole process becomes futile in its subjectivity.

Yes, there is the lesson men need to learn about explicit consent and communication, but more broadly, everyone can look at their willingness to pile on strangers while giving themselves a pass, and see something untenable and unjust.

PB: One major thing I think we tend to forget when we talk about how/whether public figures should atone for misdeeds/misbehaviours is the fact that they’re public figures. They don’t owe us any explanations but by this point they should be damn well used to being asked for them. (You wrote that if a friend had done the same thing, I’d assume he’d wrestled with it enough but no I certainly wouldn’t, unless he explicitly told me so.) So since we’re not all best buds with Aziz, and he’s not telling us any of this over a glass of scotch, we expect him to address it on stage. Because when you’re a public figure whose career is built on engaging candidly and irreverently with both what’s going on in the world and what’s going on in your life, it seems particularly disingenuous to just ignore a scandal that you’re at the centre of. Don’t you think by not addressing this whole thing directly, he’s basically just asking us all to pretend it didn’t happen? And the thing is, one of the reasons I want him to address it is precisely because I think he can move on from it, that it’s not disqualifying.

I feel like this is one of those instances where the actual problem isn’t as telling as your response to that problem. I, like many others, agree that this shouldn’t be conflated with the other #MeToo stories, and is emblematic of a larger, structural issue than a single man’s actions. He’s a tiny symptom of a much larger problem, and at the same time, uniquely positioned to address that problem in a way that, down the line, might even result in real change. To just ignore it seems like a huge missed opportunity.

You asked earlier at some point: “Divorced from the social context of the time, what must he address, reckon or wrestle with?” And my response is that you simply can’t divorce context from these sorts of game-changing conversations. We wouldn’t even be talking about Aziz and Grace 20 years ago — it wouldn’t have even been a story. Heck, Peter Farrelly said in a published story in the ’90s that he liked to whip his dick out at unsuspecting people and that barely registered as a blip. As our culture’s threshold for bullshit changes, so do the kinds of conversations we have, and what we accept from the men (or women) responsible for that bullshit, whether in our personal lives or public ones.

GH: I do think that the conversation that grew out of the scandal was a positive one, or at least one that was needed–more needed than I would have thought, which shows how much it was needed (Hello circular reasoning!). But if a positive thing came out of it, then why is his ‘comeback’ controversial?

PB: I don’t think it is though. I don’t think people want him to be exiled or to become a pop culture pariah. I think it’s the substance of his comeback that might be considered controversial if he just pretends the whole Babe thing never happened, or worse, says the onus is on everyone else for overreacting, not on the patriarchal culture that made it okay, for so long, to behave the way he did and not think twice about it.

GH: I think he can call out and critique cancel culture without implying that it’s society’s fault that he got in trouble. Can’t he? And based on the little snippets of his shows in some of the reviews, he’s not saying people are too sensitive. He’s saying society picks and chooses who to cancel, who to be outraged by, without consistency or accountability. And he’s saying we all do it to a certain extent. Hence the difference between people’s reaction to R. Kelly vs Michael Jackson. It’s why John Lennon, who abused women, and Led Zeppelin, Motley Crew, Guns and Roses, and hell, David Bowie who all did horrible things with and to groupies, are still beloved. It’s hypocritical. But, since we weren’t around for their misdeeds, we’re cool about overlooking them?

Normal people can make mistakes in private, they can apologize to who they offended, make restitutions as much as possible, and grow, all without people calling them out on social media. Historical people already did their misdeeds, and cultural consensus is pretty hard to change, so they often get a pass. What Aziz is saying is if we were to shine celebrity-level spotlight on any random person, we’d likely find something for which, if they were a present day celebrity, we could yell at them about. For instance: still listening to Michael Jackson. And so, if no one is perfect, it’s awfully dangerous to hold people up to a perfect standard.

I think mostly though–and this extends beyond Aziz–I don’t like the vagueness of people’s expectations. He didn’t reckon with it! But what does that mean? It’s like, people always say the most important thing in a relationship is communication. As a divorcee, I totally agree! But also, no one actually tells you, while giving you the communication advice, what that means.

PB: Yes but that’s just it. He’s not a “normal person.” He’s a public figure that “normal people” look up to and possibly even emulate. Yes, society does pick and choose who to outraged by and to what degree, but the response is still dictated by the level of the “crime” (using this term very loosely here). I think most people would agree that Aziz’s role in this whole conversation is very different from say, Weinstein or Kelly or CK. And I think that’s largely why people are hoping he addresses it; there’s not much room for defense as far as those guys go, but there is plenty of room for Aziz. I think what people are hoping for is a thoughtful take on everything that’s happened in the last year—happened to Aziz, specifically, and to our culture as a whole, as a result of that story. Like it or not, he’s at the centre of a culture-shifting conversation that’s incredibly important. It’s hard to say what him adequately “reckoning” with it would look like, but maybe we can circle back on this once we’ve actually seen the damn Netflix special?

GH: And if it isn’t good, we can just talk about John Mulaney’s specials. They are also on Netflix and not at all controversial!

The post How Do We Feel About Aziz Ansari’s Return to Netflix? appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

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disc-golf · 6 years

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This is the Path to Recurring Income in 2018

Remember the ’60s?

Studebakers. Sock hops. Neon-laced diners. The Beatles. Carhops. Vinyl.

Those were the days. Or, at least, I assume they were. I was born in the ’80s, so have no real sense of what ’60s Americana was all about. If “American Graffiti” is any indication, however, life was good—if a little playfully reckless.

But there was something else about mid-1900s America that stands out: An economy driven by icons.

I’m not talking about people; I’m talking about products themselves. The transistor radio; Matchbox cars; Barbie dolls; Jackie Kennedy-inspired pillbox hats and slim-fit dresses.

In each of these cases, either the product itself or the brand that built it stands in our memory as a commercial icon. And the consumer journey to acquire those icons was simple: See an ad. Buy a product in demand. Take care of it for countless years until it ultimately crapped out.

There was something satisfying in this—not only in owning an iconic product, but in holding on to it for as long as possible.

Even in the case of a product series, like Matchbox cars, each car was unique and you never had to commit to buying more than one at a time. The goal, of course, was to complete a set; it just wasn’t forced upon you.

Fast-forward to the 2000s, and the economy has shifted focus from product icons to subscription services. The quest for businesses is no longer building consumer loyalty through product quality and one-way advertising; it’s getting customers on the hook for recurring payments.

You don’t have to look far for digitized subscription services that take the place of product icons of yesteryear: Spotify for radio and records; Netflix for movies; Blue Apron for groceries; Trunk Club for clothing; 24 Hour Fitness for exercise; and so on.

How did we find ourselves in such a different economy? Simple: convenience. Somewhere along the line, we decided (as a general trend) that we preferred convenience to quality. That’s not to say that subscription products are not high-quality; it’s just that the corporate focus has shifted from quality-first to convenience-first production.

There are three reasons this has been successful.

The first is relatively obvious: Subscription services offer a low entry point. If a business tells us that a subscription service for unlimited X is only $10 a month, our interest is piqued. Why? Cost versus offer; the perceived value is much higher than the money we would be shelling out to get it. And even if we aren’t convinced we need or want that service, we justify diving in because, should we ultimately make no use of it, we’re only out $10. That’s like, two lattes. Shrug.

Second, most subscription services let us cancel any time. That seems like a huge win for us, but the reality is we often don’t cancel. At $10 a month, it’s easy to forget we’re even being charged month after month. And companies are, quite literally, banking on that. Some even take pains to make the cancellation process cumbersome. A recent finance app I signed up for, for example, focused all of its marketing energy on getting me to download their app. But when I finally decided to pull the plug on their service, the app pushed me to a third-party website with layers of forms and questionnaires to fill out—all before I had the option to cancel. I didn’t even know they had a site beyond their app-pushing lander page.

Third, we love convenience. One recent study shows the overwhelming difference a convenient shopping (and delivery) process can make. It turns out that we often make subsequent buying decisions based not on the products themselves but on the speed, convenience, and professionalism of product delivery.

The big (potential) pitfall of this burgeoning subscription-everything economy is self-evident: Diminishing product quality. Rarely now do we seek out an iconic product because of its uniqueness, story, or innovative design. We seek it out because it’s effectively “on demand,” a once-was exception to the rule that has become the expectation of just about every business.

But this is not a rag on subscription services. Quite the opposite. I, myself, take advantage of things like Amazon Prime, hulu, and Netflix. And sure, I grumble for a hot minute when service drops, my package is an hour late, or I can’t find the movie I want to watch. But I get over it. I’m drawn in by other products that are available. And if they’re delivered lickety-split as promised, then all is forgiven.

There is tremendous value for businesses in this new economic climate. But to be successful, you need to keep a few things in mind:

Don’t overpromise. If you have doubts about your ability to deliver a product or service in a set amount of time, then be conservative in your delivery estimates. You can always improve when you have infrastructure built to support faster delivery.

Choose a product or service that is likely to be used on a regular basis. People need to eat. They need clothes to wear. They need to shower. They need to shave. You get the idea. If you pick something that you KNOW people will need to use consistently, all you have to do is convince customers that you’re their go-to for that product. Once you’ve got them, you’d have to do something pretty egregious to lose them.

Solve one problem, not a million. This is especially true for startups, but can be applied to any subscription-based company. The ability to focus on one problem helps you fine-tune your solution. That improves quality, and it also makes it easier for you to target a specific consumer market. Dig deep; iterate quickly; and improve your business centered around one solution before you expand. Otherwise, everything you produce will be mediocre at best. (One of my friends argued with me on this by offering Amazon as an example of a company that offered a lot up front. But it’s important to note that Amazon didn’t start by CREATING the products it sold; it just built a portal for streamlined sales of outside products in an easy-to-use digital space.)

Make the customer experience straightforward on the front AND the backend. It’s easy to get excited about product development and delivery—that’s the part that brings in the money. But honest, quality-first subscription companies consider the entire customer journey. Make it easy and straightforward for customer to cancel their subscriptions if they wish. And sure, offer incentives for them to stay and give them first-class customer service, but don’t shoehorn them into a monthly subscription that’s impossible to cancel. You’ll be called out quickly on social media and shunned in short order.

If you screw up (and you will), apologize publicly and quickly. Use the digital world (esp. social media) to your advantage. Your customers are likely active on social media, so build channels to communicate with them individually and collectively.

Get customer feedback on a rolling basis. If you want to stay on top of customer needs (so you can make sure your products and services are still relevant), reach out to them for insight and feedback regularly. Offer incentives for their engagement—a free month of service or a complimentary product. It’s not that much to give for a lot of get.

Pay attention to competitors. More than in days past, the journey from discovery to first use of a service or product can set you apart from what your competitors are doing—even if your products are similar. Is your competitor shipping their product in 2 days for free? Ship yours overnight (at least for the month or so). Do they offer schwag for first-time subscribers? Offer your own—but make it premium and branded. You get the idea.

Make your offering as customizable as possible—without stretching your business. Not only is “on demand” everything the driving force in our consumer culture, but so is customization. Whatever your solution to a prevailing problem may be, consider the diversity of use cases in the market. One size seldom fits all, so any steps you can take to customize your product will be ultimately beneficial. The question is: How can you customize with minimal investment on your side?

Don’t fight your customers for their business. This one is kind of a no-brainer. The customer is always right, right? Even if it means losing a sale. But the benefit to a recurring subscription model is that it’s less financially painful for you to drop a customer if they have a legitimate product complaint. Consider these two scenarios: one in which a Netflix subscriber, who pays $10 a month, comes to the customer service team with a complaint a year into service and you let them go without a fuss; and the same customer who you argue with to stay on. In both cases you have a year’s worth of revenue in the bank ($120), but in the second case, you remove the possibility of them coming back in the future. With a low bar for re-entry—a modest $10—a solid customer service experience in this scenario might mean them coming back in a few months. A bad one means you lose them forever. In short: It’s never worth the fight.

Innovate, update, iterate. The digital age moves quickly, so if you put yourself out there as a digitally-driven company, be ready to keep your apps, website, and social products and services up-to-date at all times. There’s seldom forgiveness for technology that’s dated or doesn’t work, and NEVER forgiveness for companies that don’t protect consumer data. Make this a priority.

Don’t reinvent the wheel. In 2018, there are plenty of cloud-based, open-source, and reasonably priced software tools to use in your business. Before you consider building your apps, site, or digital presence from scraatch, consider the tools that are already out there that will move your business from startup to success in half the time.

Still not sure if a recurring revenue model is right for your business? Here are a couple of prominent success stories that show this model at work:

Adobe

Three years ago, Adobe provided software for a one-time purchase of $1,800. Imagine the industry’s surprise when it announced Adobe Creative Cloud, a $50 per month subscription that offered access to the software for the paid period. Though the change impacted revenue in the short term, Adobe knew it would pay off in the end. The company took it’s existing software, which was already successful, and repackaged it to offer multiple options that made it more appealing to a larger audience. In 2014, two years after the switch, Adobe’s stock closed at $80 versus $32.92 in 2012 and its market cap sat at $35.5B versus $16B, an increase of 115%. And according to its most recent quarter, Adobe’s Annual Recurring Revenue (ARR) was 53% of total revenues compared to about 20% at the end of 2012. (courtesy of AriaSystems.com)

Corporation Service Company

In the past, Corporation Service Company (CSC), charged a one-time annual fee for its services, which would be invoiced once a year at the end of the annual contract. However, with a 50% retention rate and customer base of SMBs with tight budgets, CSC found it tough to collect on payments 12 months later. The old billing system lacked the flexibility to change the way CSC billed its customers, resulting in the company’s desire to implement a recurring revenue strategy. When the IT team said building a new system in house would take 24-36 months, CSC turned to Aria’s cloud-based monetization software. They needed to get out into the market faster. Three months after a contract was negotiated, CSC launched its first product and started billing customers six months out, cutting the old billing cycle in half. CSC, empowered by a system that allowed them to control billing processes, increased their time-to-market and started testing billing three months out, then two months out. Today they’re nixing the free trial completely and billing customers upfront for its services. As a result, CSC is finding an entire year’s worth of accelerated income and an increase in overall customer lifetime value. (courtesy of AriaSystems.com)

Case studies like these are all over the internet, supplemented by the public success stories of behemoths such as Netflix (which trades at almost $300 on Wall Street and pulled in close to $12 billion in 2017) and more modest companies like Blue Apron, still mighty with almost $800 million in yearly revenue.

With the right tools, strategy, and service in place, recurring revenue—especially in our digital age—can be a very successful business model.

Just don’t approach your products like Matchbox cars and Barbie dolls.

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markyishanthonymartinez · 7 years

Text

4/7/17

hello hello hello.

im a bad person. like actually a bad person. i did something legitimately bad that i dont really want to talk about but i have to be honest with this blog and like idk it’s on my mind so i gotta. okay how do i say this. fuck okay i’ll just do it.

i missed class today. for the first time all semester. i’m a bad person. i was just so tired after this week and our story last night. my alarm woke me up, and i went pee, and got back in bed, and the next time i opened by eyes it was 9:47. aka 47 minutes after class started. i feel bad. i always feel bad when i miss class. poles is funny. he took a selfie with all his friends who showed up to class. aka himself and 3 stick figures drawn on snapchat.

at least i got to eat breakfast and then go to the ecc and study for our quiz. also, bags did the exact same thing i did and thus was not able to wake me up and stuff.

studying was chill, i listened to new music. i’m mad kendrick didn't drop his album today, actually mad. i was looking forward to it. the new harry styles track was actually enjoyable and I'm surprised. the new chainsmokers was... fuck them. just not listenable like i can't I'm sorry. i had never listened to halsey before, but its exactly what i thought it was, overproduced hipster girl pop trash. not that overproduced hipster girl pop is inherently bad, but she’s bad. other new tracks were whatevs. wait wait i almost forgot, the new french montana track was horrendous. like what even is that fam. idgi.

had a quiz in systems. it wasn't horrendous, but still pretty bad and that made me a sad mark.

i got froyo with poles after and then he came over and hung out with bags and kyle and i. we made kyle wait outside for like 15 minutes and pretended we weren't home lmao.

oh yeah kyle’s here btw. his spring break trip got cancelled and he figured why the heck not.

but yeah then kyle left to go day-drinking with kassandra and bags went to work and poles and i literally just hung out in my room doing pretty much nothing.

it made me happy cause like poles and i literally were not doing anything but we still had super fun times and that’s so qt and he’s my bestest bff.

he left to go on a tinder date. she didn't come. fuck that b. who would stand up mr alex s poles. like wtf. that hanna bitch better watch her back.

played games with buds.

then kyle came home drunk and i kinda just turned netflix on and left him and kassandra downstairs. like i guess that kinda makes me a bad host but, idk i was just trynna play games with buddies and they just ran up on me all drunk and high or something idrk.

but yeah

time for deep mark.

okay i kid you not, but i googled questioning general beliefs and the first link was an lds.org video lmao.

but really uh time for thoughts and mark ideas.

okay so like I'm not some all-knowing jerk that is a super genius but i’ve always considered myself to have really strong reasoning skills and i guess that leads me to fake deep mark.

i say fake deep cause idk I'm not a psychology major fam, buzz off.

okay so i’ve had this conversation extensively with myself and my parents and friends and actually quite a few people, but okay.

wait on second thought this one isn't really some psychological deep thing. but kinda will turn into it maybe, if this plays out how my head thinks it will.

okay so, we as a developed society will more than likely face a frightening revolution within our lifetimes. not like uprising type of revolution but a revolution in the way our entire economic system and the way people function. okay so within my lifetime, i am near certain that self-driving vehicles and the technology behind them will be perfected and mass-produced. what does that do? it gets rid of a huge part of our economy. not in a bad way for economic reasons, but in a bad way for people who need jobs and a method to contribute to society and a reason to exist on this planet. perfected self driving cars won't crash (once perfected), self driving cars will move efficiently and won't be late and won't brake too hard and won't cause damage to themselves and so on and so forth. truck drivers, won't need em. body shops for cars, nah fam. the huge chunk of the medical field that dedicates time and money to car accidents, meh. even car manufacturing and sales will go down cause like why would people need new cars. if you can just nap in your car and tell it to drive to LA, plane travel will take a hit. road work will take a knock, when there’s not people driving poorly on the roads. hoping by this time gasoline powered cars are gone, but if not, self driven technology will be a lot better at accelerating and braking to use it’s energy source as efficiently as possible. the fields go on and on and on and in most of the senses it’s a good thing. like it would be great to not waste money on these things, but people lose jobs, but not like jobs because we have a recession, but if anything jobs would be lost because we’d be doing too well. now i named one field, but consider the continuation of “robots” and computers and machines taking human labor jobs. but not just that, I’ll be a lil harder to replace, but in a perfect world computers take my job too eventually. a computer with infinite options and an understanding of which options are preferred will always be quicker, more efficient, and probably even better at engineering than i may ever be. it’s just a matter of developing a very complicated code.

i’ve talked a lot but i’m just now getting to my actual thing. what do people do when they have nothing to do? like it’s easy for me to sit here and say idk fam watch netflix and relax, but no really. if even 20% of all currently employed people had their jobs taken by a computer tomorrow, what do they do? like they didn't lost their job because of economic issues or they fucked up, no like their method of bringing bread home is no longer available. what do people do? looking past the economics of it, let’s say the government is super aware and like wow people you’ll just get paid to exist cause we dont really need you as laborers. what do people do? have we forced people into just being laborers? i feel like there’s so many people who are nothing more than their 9-5. they go to work. they have small talk and perform a simple task over and over. they come home. they eat dinner. they stare at a screen for 4 hours, they go to bed. they do it again. i dont think anyone is inherently a mindless zombie like this, but i think it’s happened. if you just told everyone they didn't have to work tomorrow or the day after that or after that, people would have no idea what to do with their lives.

i dont think this, but i should mention it, what if some people really are just zombies? what if some people really don’t think anything. what if some people dont have any real deep down interests. or they can, but they dont care enough to. what i become that.

i dont ever want to be that. i want to be me. i never want to go through the motions.

i’m better at closing this conversation off in person but i am scared to see what happened when we reach a society where laborers aren't needed. (please forgive me, i dont mean this sourly) where, the less intellectual are put in a place where they have to sit around and feel purposeless to society? of course i’m looking at this in a dystopian sense, i assume that similarly to the renaissance, art and knowledge will be further pursued when we are chilling financially, but idk it’s interesting to think about things like that. also the general public will grow more and more knowledgable along with this and maybe we’d have a super crazy smart culture. idk fam, this wasn't actually that deep but just something i thought of and not really on the theme of questioning things. that will come mañana and beyond that i’m still working on it. sry

-mark

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