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matsuokaparadise · 2 years

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Birthday Present

Genre: slice of life, slight angst, mainly fluff, oneshot

Summary: you and Rin had been "separated" for a while, but you decide to send him a birthday message to break the months long silence and you find out that the feelings you thought had died had in fact just kept themselves hidden...

Heyheyhey sweethearts, guess who's back! I'm not even going to try to explain why I've been absent for literal ages (I'm kind of lazy lol), but I hope you guys will forgive me - here's a cute lil birthday fic because I cannot forget my favourite boy's 02/02... I hope you enjoy!

Also, in case you guys want a part 2... you know what to do;) It's gonna be all about that steamy romance...

it's been a while since you and your ex boyfriend hadn't talked - you never really did break up per se, but the distance between the two of you had been growing larger and colder, to the point where you easily could have considered yourself single

the hectic life the two of you were living: you, with your impossible degree, him, with his impossible training routine, prevented either of you from thinking things trough too much

the busy life was essentially leaving no space for any doubts, nostalgia or sadness to sink in - everything was simply taken at face value, accepted, never once dwelled upon

nevertheless, although Rin felt like a distant memory, he somehow seemed a permanent figure in your life; at the back of your head, you were convinced that, if you were to get in touch and hang out, nothing will have changed

We could always pick things up again when things get better - it doesn't seem like he's seeing anyone anyway, and it's been ages already... I'm sure that he doesn't want to look for someone else

things never did get better, yet you could not resist the urge to pick up the phone once the date 02/02 appeared on your calendar

I had completely forgotten that it's his birthday... I should definitely text him, it'd be rude if I didn't, right...? Or rather... would it be weird if I did?

hesitating, you opened the chat window and pasted the message you had been carefully crafting for the past 45 minutes: you had decided on "Happy birthday~ Hope u didn't work too hard today!"

That should do it, I don't want to seem too cold but also not too serious... Or is this going to look too desperate?

after a good 10 minutes of pasting and deleting, you eventually made up your mind, and pressed enter

Ugh, fuck this, I'm just being polite, what the hell am I being all nervous about anyway?

you tried to play it cool, yet you still turned off notifications from his chat - you were, for one reason or another, dreading his response

Y/n, get a goddamn grip... you scolded yourself, upon checking if he had seen your message for the 600th time

eventually, you grew tired of being anxious over such a "trivial" matter, and decided to occupy your time with work, then go straight to sleep, notifications off

He's probably celebrating, he's obviously not gonna be checking his messages when he's with his family, he barely sees them anyway...

after not so good a night's sleep, you wake up much too early - so much so that the sun was still not yet up

you sighed at the realisation that you instantly felt a knot in your stomach, and decided to get up right away to make some coffee and breakfast - clearly, the hunger was the one to blame for the racing pulse as well...

anyhow, you set off to make some breakfast (which you almost burn to ashes because you were constantly spacing out) and then decide to finally check your phone

Matsuoka Rin 1:20 "Thanks, this time I ac..."

Fuck, he replied already - damn you y/n for turning off notifications, now you actually have to open the chat to be able to see the whole message!! you facepalmed yourself, regretting your lack of foresight

Ah, whatever, you know what, not a big deal, I'll just open it and-

*buzz*

just as you plucked up the courage to tap on the chat, a new message immediately pops up

R: "How have you been lately? It's been a while"

typing...

R: "Ah, shit, that was kind of awkward, sorry for double texting 6h later lol"

AAAAH fuck my life, now I have to reply on the spot or it's gonna look weird; what kind of damn timing is this?!

Y: "Hahaha, no, no, not at all"

Y: "Yeah, it's really been a while"

Y: "Tbh not any different, uni is kinda killing me as per usual"

Y: "You?"

I couldn't have made this more stiff if I tried... tsk

typing...

R: "Been alright, trainings and all that"

R: "Thinking of whether I wanna go to grad or not for now"

What the hell do I respond to this? Do I just go like oh, I see.. Do I seem involved and keep the conversation going? I never should have texted him, this is pissi-

*buzz*

R: "Look, actually, I'd been meaning to text you today too"

R: "So I'll cut the crap"

Huh?

R: "Recently you keep popping up"

R: "But yesterday you even made an appearance in my dream"

R: "Which is weird, I never really dream people I know"

R: "But yeah, I guess what I'm tryna say is"

R: "I felt like talking to you"

What is he even saying... What the hell does this mean!!! What am I supposed to understand from this can you just be clearer for fuck's sake asdadjfhjkdsfhjk

you were pacing around the room, frustrated. You didn't even pay any mind to the fact that you were supposed to respond on the spot

Wait

you stop abruptly

What do I want to understand from this?

you stand there for a while, thousands of thoughts enveloping your mind and rushing in front of your eyes

at one point, your expression changed from one of frustration to one of serious determination

you quietly pick up the phone and start typing

Y: "Are you free to talk"

Y: "I mean, like, talk talk"

Y: "I think I realised sth, and I'd wanna talk about it properly"

you swallow loudly as you send that last message

Fuck it, I just have to go for it, otherwise it's gonna sit at the back of my head for ages and it's only gonna piss me off

R: "sure, when are u free"

R: "If u want, we could do later today, training is off this afternoon"

Y: "Works"

Y: "Do you mind if we do either of our places"

Y: "I don't wanna have this conv in public"

R: "yeah, no problem, I can come over to yours so you don't have to walk back when it's dark?"

Y: "Thanks, I'll see you at like 5 then?"

R: "yeah, see you then"

you dropped your phone on the bed, as if it were carrying the entire weight that was on your shoulders

you fell face down on the pillow, taking a while to process the developments

What the HELL is this

He's coming the fuck O V E R

What the hell was I thinking, what am I even gonna tell him? Hey, nice seeing you, actually, you know, I realised I'm still in love with you??

AS IF

Hey, Google, how do i fake a broken leg in less than-

Ah, fuck this nevermind nevermind

Whatever! I'll just do this and whatever happens happens

I'm going to get it over and done with - we talk, I get things off my chest, he tells me we should break it off for good so we can both move on, and I get him off my mind for good!

And I won't have to remember how I would wake up next to him, or how cute he was whenever I tickled him, or how he'd get serious and look me in the eye and tell me I'm the only one he's ever truly been in love with, and-

Wait - fuck

What... what is this

Nononono, y/n, this is not the time

Wipe your damn tears off your face or you are done for- you know that if you cry you never stop

every time you'd dry your tears and calm yourself down, your peace would be short lived, as new memories entered your mind

before you knew it, it was dangerously close to the time of the "reunion", and you still hadn't managed to stabilise your emotions fully

suddenly, the seriousness of the situation hits you: you become aware of what sort of conversation you are actually supposed to have, and its implications

Whether or not Rin stays in my life...weighs on this afternoon

before you had the time to internalise this newly acquired realisation, the intercom rang

Fuck, get it together y/n, you need to keep this nice and professional, there's no need for emotional outbursts

Just take a deep brea-

*di-ing*

your breath got stuck in your throat, had you really managed to pull it all together?

but there was really no time left for you to ponder this, or anything at all for that matter

you decided to give in to the adrenaline that had taken over you

Ok, this has to be done

you straighten up your face and open the door

"Hey, sorry, just realised the kitchen was in a bit of a mess haha... Come in!" you plastered on the most convincing fake smile you could muster up

"Hey, don't worry about it," he greeted you with a polite expression of his own. "Thanks"

"I have some tea if you want? Also.. um... orange juice? A coffee? Just let me know"

you didn't really know how the conversation would begin - would either of them have to initiate it right away? Did they have to make awkward small talk for a while and hope that a right time for a transition would come?

"Thanks, but I'm alright for now"

"Ah, sure, let me know if you change your mind," was the best response you could conjure up then

not really knowing what to do with yourself, you sat down on the chair opposite to him, and moved some of the books that were on the coffee table a bit more to the side

neither one of you said a word during this time

Maybe I should just ask him what's up or something? What do I even start off with?

"Hey, y/n?"

you looked up at him, surprised. The chain of thought that you had had was broken, a knot forming in your chest

"You finally looked at me," he smiled. But, for some reason, it seemed rather bitter. No- not bitter, but perhaps, self deprecating.

you swallowed again, nerves building up with every passing moment

"I understand it if you're mad at me for dropping this on you out of the blue but I-"

"I'm not mad!" you interrupted him, your voice strained

Rin's eyes widened slightly at your reaction, and your cheeks grew hot at the realisation

"I'm not-I'm not mad at all, ok? Why would I be? I was the one who reached out anyway" you cleared your throat and straightened your back

"I'm just kind of quiet because I don't really know what to say... I mean, it's been a while and this was so out of the blue and everything"

"You really haven't changed," he chuckled sweetly. "But, I'm the same, I guess" he sighed. "It doesn't even feel like it's been that long though, don't you think? It does and it does not at the same time" he pouted. Why on earth would he pout at a time like this? How were his reactions so natural? You were surprised at the familiarity of the whole scene. You had expected to either see a stranger, or have your heart completely wrecked by the overwhelming amalgamation of memories and feelings flooding you. Instead, all you see is the same focused eyes, charming smile and relaxed manner of a person you had fallen in love with and cherished with your entire being.

"How did this happen?" you found yourself blurting out, as the feelings you had been holding back subtly began making their way back into your heart.

"I mean- how did... How did we even get so... far from the other?" you chuckled nervously and added: "It's not like anything happened, right? I swear, only we could have ended up being such dumbasses, hahaha," you tried to play off the nerves that were beginning to get the best out of you.

God I sound so stupid, but if I don't joke around I'm fucked, I can't make a scene here

"Yeah... it really was dumb, wasn't it?" again, that self-deprecating smile. You felt your heart being squeezed painfully tight - if only I could hug him better... You caught yourself thinking despite yourself

*sigh*

your attention was yet again shifted to the man in front of you

"That's better; you know, I really don't like it when you aren't looking at me, I really can't tell what you're thinking," he pouted again, jokingly. Your heart did a double take, and you curled your hands into fists - why the hell is he being so adorable?

"Look, um... So, actually... I was really thinking about this and... I - I think I never fully realised how important this whole ... thing we had ... was for me," he confessed, rather awkwardly. "I guess it only hit me when I found my thoughts trailing back to you constantly... but every time, I just somehow took for granted that even if we're not talking now that things aren't really over, you know? It's stupid, I'm awa-"

"...too," you mumbled, shyly.

to this, Rin gave you a confused look

"Huh?"

"I said, I said that I felt like that too - the taking for granted part, it was the same for me... I thought I wasn't bothered that you weren't in my life anymore, but that wasn't the case at all... I wasn't really bothered because I never really actually thought I'd lost you"

The knot in your throat was making it more difficult for you to breathe, and only made you acutely aware of how hard you were attempting to contain your feelings

"But now..." your voice cracked. "I'm so relieved to see you, to talk to you and to feel so at ease in your presence... I don't..." you felt your resolve wavering. Maybe you did want to let your tears fall and open your heart entirely to him. The fear that had accumulated in the pit of your stomach was pushing you to do everything it took - you knew you couldn't be able to take it if he left again.

"I don't... want to lose you again..." you hardly enunciated, your voice strained, your eyes stuck to the floor.

Rin had been watching you in awe the entire time. He was unsure whether he should be confused, surprised, happy or annoyed, but his gaze on you held a certain tenderness, untouched by the plethora of emotions going through his head.

"Y/n, look at me," his serious tone almost made your heart stop. Feeling tears, your eyes darted in every other direction, trying to avert them from falling.

"If you'd looked at me, you'd have noticed that you and I are both in the same boat" he chuckled. "You're not the only one worked up over this. Seeing you today... and especially hearing what you had to say..." he stopped, trying to find his next words. "Sigh... God, I must have been insane to cast you aside like that- who does such a thing to someone who makes their heart do the things mine is doing right now?" His gaze took on an intense air.

"Y/n, let's start again."

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thethreemages · 3 years

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Yeaaah, didn’t mean to make such a late holiday-related TTM pic this year... buut yknow, stuff happens to where I just wasn’t feeling too inspired, I’m afraid :/. Hope this simple & cute lil fluffy pic will be enough to suffice for the meantime though... featuring a much younger Raider Crane as he meets with his beloved baby sister Noira for the first time~ 💙 DA Link

~Fic Below the Cut~

Wintervale had come much like it did any other year in Graystone's main capitol... with many either inside or out bustling in the streets as the cool winter flurries fell up from above. Whether one would be feeling the holiday mood to celebrate with loved ones or not, it was a time many looked forward to in more ways than one. Especially for one particular citizen in the form of Raider Crane, whom was eagerly awaiting the Wintervale morning right by the window sill. Not even for the regular tradition of tearing into his presents... but for expecting the arrival of his parents coming home with a brand new member of the family. His very own baby sister. "Erm... Raider, sweetheart? Don't you think you'd be more comfortable here by the fire?" came the concerned, yet calming voice of his dear Aunt Freya, whom was staying at the family residence to help out with Raider while his parents were busy. Her nephew in the meantime was diligently stuck near the window eyeing the falling snow outside... which was very unlike the past Wintervale's where he'd normally be zipping all over the place in excitement. No, this time was far too special for him to goof off on... so he simply declined his aunt's kindly offer with a quick shake of his head. "Nuh uh, sissy's almost here! I gotta look for her!" Raider insisted, pointing out towards the snow, "If I don't, she won't like me!" Gently laughing with a small smile, Freya simply got up to sit by the couch Raider was kneeling over, patting him on the head, "Oh, I'm sure she won't mind, Raider. She's still just a wee lass after all... the moment she sees you through that door, she's sure to love you~" The thought of that filled Raider with a little more hope... but true to his nature, he quickly went back to leaning to the window to wait anyway. This naturally earned a small sigh from his aunt... yet considering what the family's been going through these past few weeks, she couldn't bring herself to blame the boy. As it was... the arrival of the newest Crane daughter came with some "complications" that prevented her from being born on her expected due date... instead, the build of stress and anxieties from her mother's experiences in the last few months of pregnancy kickstarted an earlier labor. While the baby ended up being relatively fine, all things considered... doctors were still adamant to keep her by the hospital for at least a longer observation period. It was by sheer luck and persistence that her folks were finally allowed to bring her home on this special holiday in particular... much to everyone's relief. Thus... once Raider finally spotted the parking lights of his parents' car up by the front, his face lit up like the sun as he hurriedly hopped off the couch to greet his family, "-SHE'S HERE! AUNTIE AUNTIE, SHE'S HERE~!" "Ooh, thank the Saints!" Freya relaxed in a relieved smile, patiently letting Raider tug her by the sleeve to wait by the door. Little guy was already bounding up and down by his heels by the time the door unlocked and opened... revealing not just his clearly tired and frustrated parents, but the bundled up baby girl in question quietly resting away in her mother's arms. "Mommy! Daddy! How's sissy??" Raider loudly and excitedly asked both his parents, earning a half-annoyed grunt from his father Lachlan as he was trying to hang up his coat. "Quiet down, boy. You're goin' to wake the girl." Lachlan gruffly reminded his son, gesturing to his wife Vinia who looked like she was trying to hold off a migraine whilst keeping the baby asleep. Realizing this, Raider quickly hushed down a bit to a whisper as he then nudged to his mother in curiosity, "Psst, Mommy? Is sissy okay?" Unlike her husband, Vinia was at least a bit more patient to respond to Raider in a gentler tone, taking some deep breaths from her migraine to half-smile back, "Your sister's doing much better, Raider. Just give us a moment and we'll let you see her..." "Ohhh, okay!" her little boy nodded back obediently, without another word rushing over to the couch to give his parents some space to settle into the home. His aunt soon headed over to assess how things were going from the hospital stay, even being allowed to hold the baby whilst Lachlan brought down the overnight bags. "Aww... what a darlin' little angel~" Freya warmly smiled at the bundle in her arms, looking over at the couple in curiosity, "Have either of you decided on a name, yet? I know things were hectic back at the hospital and all, so..." "Pff, well of course we did..." Lachlan responded with a huff after putting away one of the bags, "We'll be callin' her 'Noira'... for one of the Crane's many great past figures, Noira the Victress." Intrigued by this particular name choice, it made Freya think a bit more before she gave a look of confusion, "...Wasn't Victress Noira the leader of a band of blood pirates...?" Perhaps to not too much of a surprise, Lachlan didn't seem to get what the issue was as he raised a brow back at her, "...and your point is...?" "Well... pardon me to be judgin' on baby names, but isn't that a bit too grizzly of an origin to name your own daughter after?" Freya further questioned... growing even more unamused by her brother simply giving a haughty laugh, "Well duh... that's what makes the name as fittin' as it be! Y'know us Cranes have to be held up to the strongest of warrior titles, that's been the oath of our family since the beginning ages of Terra..." Lachlan confidently explained as he glanced back over to the bundle in his wife's arms, yawning strongly before snuggling up in her blanket again. "-Besides, lil Noira over there be carryin' a vast Water magic aura... tis only natural she carry a similarly strong title much like her brother is with our grandfather's. What more can ya want?" and thus, without even giving his sister time respond back to that statement, Lachlan simply turned away from view as he went over to grab a quick smoke outside, leaving the rest of his kin alone in the living area. There were... many things on Freya's mind in regards to her brother, from his long-standing gruff attitude to his never-ending stubbornness on keeping up these countless "traditions" from their family name... but in this moment of seeing Raider so eager to scooch over to Vinia and the baby, she decided to just leave the issue be for now and let this treasured memory continue on in peace... "Mommy... she's so pretty..." Raider gently uttered, staring in awe at such a tiny and delicate lil thing. From her pudgy lil cheeks, to her tiny hands, to the soft lil tufts of hair curled on her head... one would be a fool to find Noira to be anything other than adorable. Watching her son be so intrigued by his sister was a sight that even Vinia couldn't resist finding charm in... tiredly smiling down at the siblings meeting for the first time. "...Would you like to hold her, Raider?" Vinia softly spoke to her son, immediately bringing a small gasp of joy to Raider face, "-Really??" "-As long as you promise to be careful, that is... then yes." she calmly nodded back, her tone recognizably staying firm but not enough to deter her little boy. It took a quick second for Raider to calm himself on quietly nodding yes in a promise... which luckily gave enough trust in Vinia to carefully maneuver Noira to relax down into Raider's lap, with the help of some pillows nearby. Needlessly to say, Aunt Freya wasted no time hurrying to grab the recorder up on the shelf to capture this moment... smiling warmly at the sight of Raider being so overjoyed around his new sibling. Seeming to be the most happiness she'd seen from the boy than any of his past Wintervale gifts, Raider couldn't help but declare an 'oath' of his own to the baby girl below him. "Psst, hi Noira... I'm your brother, Raider! I know the big world may be a bit scary now... since you're so little and all. But no need to worry, 'cause as your big brother... I promise to always save you! No one's gonna hurt my baby sissy while I'm around, never ever!" With that... it seemed to finally stir up Noira from her sleep enough for her to carefully blink her lil eyes open... a brilliant blue color matching much like her brother's gazing back at her. Carefully but lovingly, Raider gave her a hug and kiss to show how much he cherished her stepping into his life. To his young, innocent heart, it was the best present he could've asked for for the holiday of Wintervale...

#the three mages #my art #my ocs #raider crane #noira crane #the crane family #fluff #my fics #ttm art #ttm fics

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brekkiejeon · 4 years

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Silent Treatment

Author's note: I've been writing many stories about BTS lately and still working on to create my own masterlist. So here is my second Jungkook AU and I hope to write more stories in the future.

✎ Masterlist

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, with a lil bit of fluff

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: Jungkook gives you his deadly silent treatment and much to your dismay, you were not having it. You tried many ways to persuade him but it was too much to handle as you thought and you’re sick of it already for the past few days.

Jungkook was an expert in a lot of things even to those he had no experience or knowledge from or just possibly anything. You are completely impressed by his power; a black belter, really good at drawing, has an amazing voice and personality and so much more to mention. He is like a magnet that every girl can be attracted to but it left you wondering about how he was the one attracted to you even though you look repelling. If there was something from him you didn't know he was surprisingly great at, ignoring you would be.

You are currently on the third day of your boyfriend's silent treatment and it was excruciating to be in this kind of situation. The reason why Jungkook is giving you this was because you cleaned up his room and threw some of his important stuff away which you didn't even know he still needed it in the first place. In fact, it was your fault for disposing them and you have to apologize though it gave you a hard time to persuade him, seeing that he always works hard and barely has time to discuss because of his hectic schedule.

The sound of the television filled the room, occupying it with the movie's background noises. You divert yourself from this misery you've been enduring for the past 3 days. Another finished movie this time, 2 hours after midnight. You turned off the electronic in front of you and stared at the wall. The pain is already making you numb and insomnia had affected you since yesterday night causing you extreme fatigue. Maybe you were only overthinking? No, you basically aren't. Now is the time to make amends and hope for the best that he'll forgive you even of a tiny chance. You miss him so much.

Meanwhile, you sat up as you heard the door open, wiping your tear-stained face and hastily fixed the bed. Jungkook just got home from work—not his usual time as you anticipated. His footsteps resonated along the hallway of your apartment and his tired, heavy breaths made you think about surviving another long night without him. You can't just force him to accept your apology and sympathize this late at night for who knows it could make the problem worse.

Jungkook went in your shared bedroom and without a doubt, tossed his bags near the table making you wince. He looks at you aggressively as if you've done something peccable and then quietly returned to the living room where he sleeps in as of now.

It breaks your heart seeing him so impassive. The way his vexatious self prompts makes you want to hug him tight and tell him that he is the most wonderful thing that happened to you. But you can't. His angry soul prevails the beast in him and the angel you know apparently has a demon lurking in his shadows.

You gathered up the courage to follow him in the kitchen and watched him in silence. He was making food for himself after a long day at work. Jungkook was an idol, you fully understand that he would always have to sacrifice and to not even complain a single thing. He was persistent.

You inhaled sharply as you approach him. "J-Jungkook."

No response. The kitchen wasn't this hot before but because of the scorching atmosphere that you both are suffering with, it was clear that you needed to take this situation as cool as you can.

"Jungkook?"

Still, no response.

Each step you take felt so heavy until fear slowly overpowers you. After for what seems like ages, he faces you before you can even touch him.

You play with the fabric of your shirt, "I'm sorry, Jungkook." His unwelcoming eyes stare deeply into your soul unlike the ones you always see. You can't lock your orbs with this cold-blooded human in front of you and within seconds you just wanted to cry. When will this be over?

He retorted, "No, y/n. It's gone now. What do you have to be sorry for?" His words stabbed you which was as sharp as a knife. No other emotion could be fathomed and all you can sense was the enraged tone of his voice.

Jungkook scowls and continued his tantrum, "Those were drafts for my mixtape."

That completely ended you. His patience, his hardwork—gone because of you. You were remorseful and would probably do anything for the sake of both of you—for his forgiveness.

Your throat begins to hurt while you restrain your tears from falling, making it difficult for the both of you to compromise. Jungkook stood there waiting for his food and you were there too, invisible from his sight.

He replies, breaking the awkward silence in this dark hour. "Just because something looks unused doesn't mean it's already trash y/n. I can't believe you just dumped half of the stuff away!"

"I know. I'm so sorry."

He never looked at you again as he was afraid of the chances he can recklessly do to you. Your hand deliberately grabs his wrist but he was quick to remove it—and that's the time you finally snapped.

You give up. It seems that those 3 dreadful days were just distressing as the present. For crying out loud, you yearn to be at peace with this man but got deeply saddened to see that he was opposing.

Tears abruptly stream down your cheeks while you bewail in front of him. You wanted to hit him because he was just there watching you. Jungkook examined your small figure with his eyes fixated at your weeping appearance and unknowingly disregarding the forethought of his actions.

Wiping a torrent of tears from your crimson face, you managed to continue despite of convulsing too much. "I get it now." You sigh in defeat and exhaustion.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook. I'm really sorry."

"I don't even know why I'm still here looking so pathetic in front of you."

"I do look stupid now, am I?"

Jungkook deadpanned although his anger seemed to be dissipating as soon as he saw you sobbing. Your breath quivers along with a burning sensation from your flooded eyes.

"Please forgive me Jungkook. It fucking hurts to see you ignoring me. I understand those drafts mean everything to you—"

"And I–because of me...screw this, just forget it." You got tired of explaining this idiotic mess you've done and stormed out of the room. This silent treatment drained you, this foolish argument you've been dealing with had you completely strained.

A sudden outburst of realization slaps him, regret finally immured him and with that, he blames himself. His ego didn't gain anything but abomination under this circumstance.

"Y/n! Shit."

You got surprised by his hand gripping your wrist tightly. You tried to stop him but he won't budge, not even showing a slight movement from his hand.

"What do you want? I thought you were angry with me?" Your voice trembles in outrage while your eyes speak lowly for yourself. Jungkook's hand made you shudder, struggling to disenthrall from his touch but he suddenly pulls you closer to his chest as you have given up to his beyond strong hand that was holding you back.

"I'm so tired, Jungkook. Can we just fix this in the morning?" His shirt was now drenched with your tears as you buried your face on his chest.

"I don't care if the both of us are tired y/n. I don't want you to sleep thinking that I'm upset with you."

You looked at him in disbelief, "I threw them away. Aren't you gonna hate me for that?" His hands travelled around your waist as your eyebrows furrowed. The contact of his biceps wrapping around you were enough to calm you down and your nerves that had tensed were finally recovering.

"Y/n, stop saying things like that."

Jungkook's chest was heaving gently against your face, lulling you to sleep. The comfort he's been giving you cannot be compared to any other, even right after an argument he was there to understand you—and as juvenile as this may be, he knew his limits and wouldn't dare to cross that boundary.

"I'm sorry for being an asshole earlier. I'm sorry for just watching you cry, y/n. Please, I can't stand you being so weak in front of me. It makes me feel like I'm awfully treating you–that you're afraid of me." He brushes the strands of hair away from your face.

"And those past few days of ignoring you, I'm sorry. I–I am just as fucking careless as you think. You didn't deserve this kind of punishment. I badly want to make it up to you. Just please, don't cry. I hate it when you're crying. I've never seen you so scared of me in my entire life and it makes me devastated." He groaned, guilt already had built up in his mind. He never wanted to forgive himself for doing this to you.

Jungkook closed his eyes as his fingers knead the bridge of his nose, "It's just that...I'm so upset because I worked hard for those stuff." You knew he put a lot of effort on making those drafts but the thing here was how you dumped them without his consent, and who wouldn't be angry with that?

"Even if you've done something terrible. I would never hurt you. Don't be afraid of me. You are too precious to be hurt." He holds your shoulders, assuring you that he will never be someone whose rash actions can make you linger a bad memory with.

"I love you, y/n. Always remember that."

This callous human being turned into someone so soft, so affectionate. Now you know what his weakness is, supposedly there's still more. There are still parts of his personality that you haven't seen or even encountered and it makes this relationship filled with rollercoaster rides. A feeling of excitement, ups and downs—and the best one is to have fun spontaneously.

Cupping his cheeks, you pecked the tip of his nose. "I love you too, Jungkook."

"Don't let that worry you now. It's fine." He caressed you like a child and kisses your temple, inhaling the vanilla scent of your hair that made him fall in love with you more. He loves vanilla, and he loves you.

In an instant, Jungkook flicks your forehead, earning a whine from you, "But you have to help me remake them." He jested, making you chuckle as you see his adorable bunny smile flash on his face again. That wondrous grin makes you forget all the melancholy, as he does with you. The certainty of him not being ruthless at all eases you up and at once you feel the urge to cuddle with him as the both of you drift to sleep.

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan #bts army #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts au #bts angst #bts au fanfic #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook au #bts jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook au #jungkook au #jjk

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luna-flow · 5 years

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🌑🌙✨Pick-A-Card Reading: Knowing more about my Shadow Self 🌑🌙✨

Hello friends! Life is still crazy hectic for me but I had a great meditation session and I became motivated to do this pick-a-card reading! I actually tried to do it 2 months ago but it felt lacking so I deleted it after it sat in my drafts for a week. Finally I felt it’s time to re-do it!

Here are the 4 piles with following assigned crystals: celestite, blue lace agate, moonstone and peach selenite. Pick the one you feel most drawn to and find out more about your shadow self!

(Sorry I’m typing this manually through mobile so please scroll down and no “continue reading” option)

✨Cards reveal! ✨

Pile 1: Celestite

Your shadow self is prominent at times of crisis and challenges. You are like brewing a cauldron of negative thoughts, allowing and almost purposely making yourself feel worse and overwhelmed. You start blaming the world, everything else, questioning why is life so unfair to you and it’s just a bad spiral of unhealthy, unproductive and self-putting thoughts. Almost as if you’re being pulled at both sides, knowing you can’t just blame everything else but you can’t help it to do so. It gets worse when you resign yourself to it, thinking your life is meant to be this bad when in actual fact, you’re just trapped in your own clouded mind and succumbing to your shadow self, letting it take over you. Really intense and highly fluctuating emotions.

How to work with it: as obvious as the card has shown, don’t bottle up your negativity. Don’t get addicted and comfortable in it, release it as many as you can consistently. RECOGNIZE AND APPLAUD every single tiny progress and effort you’ve made. It can be through doing something you enjoy or share your emotions with someone else. In anyway, you should never neglect it and add fuel to the fire. Tell yourself, life gets bad and while it can be due to other external factors which you have no control of, at the very least don’t make it worse yourself. A change in mindset is very crucial here.

Pile 2: Blue lace agate

Deep down you know how intelligent and competitive you are, and that is a double-edged sword for you. This can hurt a lil so buckle down for a sec. You’re someone ambitious, and you’re very determined to get what you want, which brings certain issues to the surface. Pride, jealousy, very mindful in controlling your life. Your life is dramatic and you can’t help it. You strive to be on top, if not, the best version of yourself so much that you forgot about sometimes it’s not about the results. This is worse when you have a particular field that you excel in and you place your self-worth in how well you do in that field. You get very competitive deep down. When your shadow self is in full bloom, you may even resort to unethical thoughts and actions. You keep comparing yourself to others and to be honest, you make yourself feel superior as a defensive mechanism. In all honesty, you don’t have to do those to “boost” or “protect” your self-esteem.

How to work with it: Reduce your controlling tendencies, which includes wanting to control outcomes and results. As your life has a lot of changes and changes, allow yourself to be open to them and just naturally see how things unfold. You don’t have to make sure everything goes in a certain way so that you feel a certain way too. Enjoy some parts of the unknown and excitement. Check in with yourself, is your pride getting in the way too much? Be open to the idea of people sharing the same hobbies and specialisation with you, level up TOGETHER.

Pile 3: Moonstone

You need to CALM DOWN and SIT DOWN when your shadow self gets prominent. (Your guide may often says: sit your ass down honey) You become naive, too much of a dreamer that you lose your sense of judgment. You are the type that is a really bad match with skillful manipulators. When there is an idea at hand, you jumped straight away due to excitement and get swept away by your emotions which often results to getting a slap of reality due to lack of practical foresight and careful planning. Also, you’re really bad with setbacks which often drives you thinking of a failure outcome which it’s just a bump along the road. Lots of anxious and lack of emotional stability here. 0-100 real quick, vice-versa.

How to work with it: lots of grounding. Better still, find a friend or any close associate who is logical, practical to calm you down and pull you back into the reality when you’re too swept away in your own thoughts. Don’t allow yourself to be too rash when comes to decision-making. Always double and triple check everything, plan out everything before diving into something. Don’t just assume it’s gonna be great or it’s gonna end badly. Take a deep breath and analyze things step by step. Collect your emotions, do your research, meditate and just see how it goes.

Pile 4: Peach selenite

Lots of rigidity here. Tend to stuck in an unhealthy cycle or habit. You’re intuitive by nature but also the type who doesn’t heed your own intuition when comes to your shadow self. Almost as if you are afraid to face and work on it. You feel lost, and you’re afraid to be dominated by it. You feel that have problems differentiating your intuitive thoughts and intrusive thoughts. Changing and releasing a part of your life is a real struggle for you. Most likely it is because you don’t know how to and you’re not willing to face the future without it. You are well-aware when a situation gets toxic and unhealthy but your shadow self stops you from moving forward and allows you to dwell in it, making you stuck in a bubble. This kinda feels like the devil card except that you both SEE the chain and chose not to remove it.

How to work on it: Draw your boundaries well. Write down a list of what you’re capable to do and what you should do. Match it up. Discard those you eventually feel that you shouldn’t do it. Don’t allow your past to chain you down. Look forward, not behind. Acknowledge that YOU have to be responsible of the mess and you have to be the one cleaning it up. It’s about being responsible of your own life along with listening to YOURSELF. Prioritise that inner voice of yours, it is going to save you out of many potential bad situations.

That is all! Please support me by reblogging this and/or leaving a feedback, it will be deeply appreciated. Till next time, let’s have a fruitful time working with our shadow selves! ✨

#tarot #tarot cards #tarot reading #tarot readings #oracle #oracle cards #divination #shadow self

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smellycinnamonthundahfudge · 5 years

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how peter fell for mj

ok let’s do this one last time, folks. spideychelle month week 3 has a day for your fav moment and honestly one of my faves that don’t get the cred it deserves is mj’s sly subtle takedown of flash on the plane. i love that scene so goddamn much. it was literally all i needed to buy peter crushing on mj from the get go. mj cares about him and he dug that and i couldnt fucking blame him that he did, especially since he’s school outcast peter parker.

but since apparently ~some~ people have higher standards than me, i decided to fill in the blanks for them and so this headcanons post was born. (it died but i’m remaking it again instead of finishin a wip cus i dont effing want to finish it hahaha)

after hoco, peter’s decided to take his time in trying to be an avenger and just settles for now on staying on the ground as the friendly neighborhood spider-man.

since he isn’t as eager to prove himself anymore, settled on just being spidey for now, he starts to transition back to getting some semblance of his old normal high school life which meant getting back to academic decathlon.

after he actually spends more time again on academic decathlon and he actually winds up attending a competition again, that they manage to win because of him, leading to him sharing an awkward hug-shake with mj,

he’s suddenly knocked on the head by the realization... holy shit are mj and i, friends???

it just happens slowly of course. peter starts to notice mj’s blatant if you actually stop and think about it for a while observation of him and finds himself paranoid doubting himself and wondering if they actually happened at all.

think of him as being the real life equivalent of the sunny conspiracy meme in regards to mj’s lil look and glances

you know, that thing in highschool where you’re so unsure whether or not someone’s actually interested in you so you end up overanalyzing everything they do

“because i mean when i glanced at her direction, i could have sworn she was looking at me, but then i did a double take and she wasn’t anymore. it’s probably nothing, right?”

“yup” ned replies, not even taking his eyes off of the game on his phone. he’s mostly tuned out peter’s musings by now and just on autopilot replies yup and i don’t know every now and then

“but then what if it was???”

this has gone on for quite a while. one could sympathize for ned’s autopilot mode.

peter starts to notice how nice mj is to him and how they’ve actually spent quite a bit of time together what with decathlon, sitting together or around each other at lunch, and mj coincidentally being at detention every time peter is there as well

she tells him she’s there to draw people in crisis and has been doing so long before peter found himself there

but then peter stays at school a little longer than he plans to since he forgot he ran out of web solution and had to make some more, but when he passed by the detention room that time, mj was nowhere to be found

“WAS SHE ONLY THERE BECAUSE OF HIM???” peter tortures himself thinking

but seriously tho, peter finds himself at awe that mj doesn’t have more friends since she is so genuinely kind and fascinating to talk to

“she hides her kindness under a layer of dry sarcasm and deadpan jokes, but it’s there alright”

peter thinks that with his hectic double life superhero schedule, it’d be much more efficient to cut him off from the team, but mj insists that it’s fine and makes efforts to keep him updated on what happens and what he missed and what he should study up on

and honestly, peter is just at awe every time he talks to mj.

“i feel like i just binged the buzzfeed unsolved series and selection of netflix documentaries, and read the entirety of reddit, and 10 huffington post articles from just a couple of hours of talking to mj”

she knows so much more about the dark comings and goings in the world than him, an actual “superhero”

he is just so starstruck over the fact that someone who knows that much could just fly by everyone else’s radar like that

so basically i just think that peter just finally notices and responds to mj’s affection for him and because of such, starts reciprocating it and admiring all her cute lil eccentricities and quirks as well.

WAS THAT SO FUCKING HARD?????

btw this kinda goes along with my black dahlia fic. like i say there, it was inspired by me making a prev hc post that got lost huhu

#spideychelle #spideychelle is canon bitches #spideychelle month #spideychellemonth #peter parker #michelle jones #ned leeds #<3 #smhc #smh

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silverlightqueen · 5 years

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Daisies

here's another playlist with all the songs that the songs in Daisies are based on with the spotify playlist, enjoy x

a/n: almost all of the song titles come from part names of daisies parts lol and I also wrote this super late last night but the wifi stopped working as I tried to upload it so sorry for how... sleep deprived I come across in this lmaooo x

tracklist

1. Intro: Spring - KTH = Winter Bear - V

From the very first mixtape skit, Tae suggested having Intro: Spring and Outro: Summer so y’all know I had to call the intro Intro: Spring lol. I based this one off Winter Bear bc even though Winter Bear is about... a winter bear (lmao), I thought it’d be cute to have the message of this song as even though it’s spring, the singer still loves the person they fell in love with during the winter (and winter doesn’t necessarily refer to the season, but maybe a dark time in the singer’s life).

2. Mayday - KTH & JJK = Lay Me Down - Sam Smith & John Legend

So the reason I chose this song is that it’s quite a sad and dark love song and rather than seeing it as an unrequited love song (which is what it is), I see it as more a doomed love song. From the point of view of the singer, they see the relationship as something amazing and beautiful and something they want, but there are doubts/barriers in the way. This could be reflective of how both Tae and JK initially saw their relationships with Chae and Lisa due to the whole idol dating thing, or maybe even their past with sleeping around.

3. Injustice - Jisoo & Jennie = Extraordinary - Clean Bandit & Sharna Bass

Again, this is another song about loving someone, but there are issues/doubts/barriers in the relationship. This again could be reflective of doubts that Jisoo and Jennie both had about Jin and Joon at the beginning of their attractions to one another/relationships.

4. Psychic - KNJ & Jennie = Fine Line - Mabel & Not3s

This song is all about how they both have feelings for each other, but he’s more open about his towards her. Jennie is reluctant but feels like there is a very fine line (ba dum tsh) between their relationship being casual and her falling head over heels for him.

5. Missing Out - MYG, JHS & Lisa = Take It Or Leave It - Rae Sremmurd

Now I really really love this song bc it gives me major ‘I really like you and i’m trying my best to act like I don’t really care whether you like me or not but I really do and I’m not a good actor so you already know’ vibes. It’s a real laidback and chill ‘end-of-the-night-when-everyone’s-high’ kinda song and I love it.

6. Outings - MYG, JHS, PJM & JJK = New Flame - Chris Brown, Usher & Rick Ross

I chose this song bc it talks about finding love in an unlikely place; the club. In Outings, the boys sing/rap about finding love in a different unlikely place; on tour. It’s so hectic and busy that you wouldn’t think there’d be any time, but it happened regardless.

7. Possessed - JHS, Jennie & y/n = All My Friends - Snakehips, Tinashe & Chance The Rapper

This song is the ultimate introvert anthem and talks about the idol lifestyle for idols that don’t like the idol lifestyle. y/n wasn’t into all that getting high and drunk and sleeping around kinda thing and this song reflects that mentality, and the mentality of the boys when they used to do that shit.

8. Parents - KSJ, Jisoo & JJK = Boyfriend - Ariana Grande & Social House

This song just talks about how Jin, JK and Jisoo (and Lisa) are in relationships where they really like the other person and they don’t want them with anybody else, but they’re also not quite ready to commit and put a label on it or make it official just yet.

9. Booking Flights - KSJ, JHS, Jisoo, KNJ & Jennie = Finders Keepers - Mabel & Kojo Funds

This song is about how you will not catch Jin, Jisoo, Joon or Jennie booking a flight to see the other person they’re in a relationship with; they’re not ready for that yet and they’d prefer to keep it casual and make the most of the time they do have together before becoming serious.

9.5. Skit: Brainstorm Pt. IIIII - All

This is literally just them lot brainstorming and i’m so sorry but I am too tired to come up with what they say so you can just make it up yourselves

10. Really - Girls (Blackpink Cover)

This song is a little bit of turning point; it’s where the girls have decided that ‘okay, I like you and I’m ready for us to be something more; if you feel the same way, let me know’. This is where the girls are addressing their feelings and wanting the same from the boys.

11. Reunion - PJM & y/n = Learn To Love Again - Lawson

This song is y/n and Jimin talking about how they know that they are meant for each other bc of the fact that they’ve been able to learn to love each other again and forgive each other, despite everything that happened between them; it’s an admittance of how deep their feelings for each other really go.

12. Enjoy - Lisa & JJK = Fetish - Selena Gomez & Gucci Mane

This song is about how JK and Lisa are feeling each other in a sexual way and no matter how they’ve tried to repress their feelings, they want the other; not just in a sexual relationship but in an actual relationship too (and they’re both aware of the other’s feelings). It also talks about how they don’t blame the other for liking them so a lil bit of self love in there too.

13. Blushing - Chae = Lover - Taylor Swift

There’s not much to say about this one; it’s literally just Chae admitting to Tae that she really likes him, wants to go where he goes and stay this close to him forever. It’s a really cute lil love song and I think it suits Chae and Tae’s relationship perfectly.

14. Clouds - MYG & KTH = Waves - Kanye West & Chris Brown

This song is about all the different relationships that the twelve of them have, discussing the fact that they are like waves; they change and move and (as Genius lyrics says) flux and reflux, but they never truly die and are always still there. Basically it’s about how no matter what happens, their relationships will exist and stay just as strong forever.

15. Close Your Eyes - Boys = Wake Up - The Vamps

This song is the boys admittance of their feelings for the girls and how they’re here and ready for the girls whenever their hearts are ready. That’s it, lol.

16. Babie - KSJ = This Is What You Came For - Calvin Harris & Rihanna

This song is about a really powerful woman who can command the entire room, but the feeling of her having her eyes on you. Basically, it’s just the boys empowering the girls; it’s them saying ‘you guys are really amazing and powerful and we’re honoured to even know you, let alone have your love’.

17. Forever Young - All (Blackpink Cover)

This song is literally just them talking about feeling young when they’re all together and they’ll be together the rest of their lives, making them young forever.

18. About Time - MYG, JHS & y/n = Congratulations - Post Malone & Quavo

This is just a flex bc they're record breakers and award winners bitch lmao

19. Interlude: Hedge - JJK & y/n

y’all know I had to fucking do it to you !! okay so the backing track is literally just basic asf and it’s just JK and y/n rapping the following lines together (it’s only like a minute long lmao):

sitting on a ledge, thinking ‘bout a hedge. we gon’ make a pledge to grow ourselves a hedge. our tools we will dredge (up) and in the garden we will wedge, some seeds between our flowers and grow a baby hedge. the baby hedge will grow, ‘til it can’t no mo’, ‘til it’s bigger than Tae’s toe and taller than Joon’s old ‘fro. our hedge matters most, it’ll grow from coast to coast, ‘til the world from edge to edge will fall in love with our hedge

(that’s it. I have reached the peak of crackheadedness. I will never do anything more crackhead-like than what i am doing right this second; writing a rap about a hedge at 1am in the dark with Monsters vs Aliens on the tv)

20. Apocalypse - KTH, Lisa & y/n = This Is Love - Will Smith & Eva Simons

This song is legit just how much love they all have; for each other, for their fans, for their families and friends and for their music. That’s it, ion know what else to say.

21. Lucky Stars - Chae & y/n = Unconditionally - Katy Perry

This is just another big love song about how no matter what, they will all still love each other unconditionally, without holding back anything.

22. Masterpiece - PJM & y/n = Ordinary People - John Legend

This is y/n and Jimin realising that there will be ups and downs in their relationship, but that’s okay bc that’s life and they’ll get through it bc they love each other. It’s also them realising that they need to just go slow this time and let things happen naturally rather than rushing into anything and forcing anything.

23. Tipsy - PJM & y/n = Drunk In Love - Beyonce & Jay-Z

Nothing has changed; they both still like sex a lot. Also, rapper!Jimin which we love (yes, i’m still not over that Tony Montana performance and I want it tattooed on my forehead pls)

24. Whiplash - Boys = Better Man - 5 Seconds Of Summer

This song is dedicated from the boys to y/n bc she made them better men; she threw away their drugs (lmao) and got them to stop sleeping around and helped to realise their worth and love themselves, so this is their thank you to her for changing them into better people.

25. Holiday - Chae, JJK & y/n = Malibu - Miley Cyrus

This song is about how they were reluctant about relationships at first and never saw themselves where they are now, but they love it and feel indebted to their other halves (and also their friendship group) for giving them new experiences, changing their lives for the better and making them happier than ever.

26. Promise Pt. II - PJM = Serendipity - BTS

This is dedicated to y/n (obviously) and is basically just Jimin’s promise to y/n that he loves her.

27. Angel Boy - y/n = Video Games - Lana Del Rey

This is y/n’s love song to Jimin - just listen to it and you’ll understand (listen, it’s late and i’m tired but I just wanna get this uploaded so I can finish daisies in the next couple of days and start the new au so sorry if the descriptions are too brief lol)

28. Back On - All = All Weekend Long - Jack & Jack

RTG might have left the toxic lifestyle behind them but they’ll never say no to a good party lmao

29. Business - KNJ & Jennie = Touch - Little Mix & Kid Ink

Jen and Joon like each other a lot and like to touch too lmao i’m tired forgive me

30. Peachy - KSJ & Jisoo = Toothbrush - DNCE

Jin and Jisoo not wanting just one night stands and asking the other to stay the night and the next day bc they like each other a lot

31. Dream - Lisa & JJK = Cold Water - Major Lazer, Justin Bieber and MØ

This just in: JK and Lisa really like each other and will save each other from cold cold water bc of it.

32. Worldwide - KTH & Chae = This One’s For You - David Guetta & Zara Larsson

Just a super feelgood, uplifting and empowering love song that’s totally not about football.

33. Daisy - PJM & y/n = Middle - DJ Snake & Bipolar Sunshine

This song is where I got the line ‘staring at two different views’ from and both y/n and Jimin have captioned pictures of each other with that line so I felt obliged to have this as their song, and then I called it daisy and made myself sad lmao.

34. Goodbye - All = The Time - Black Eyed Peas

They had the time of their lives on The Rose Tour and can’t wait to do it all over again on The Daisies Tour.

35. Outro: Summer - All = Waiting For Love - Avicii

They’ve all been hurt in the past but that doesn’t matter anymore bc they’ve found love in each other and that’s all that matters.

taglist💕: @khaoticamour @rjsmochii @minniestudies @oodlespadoodle @shay-the-turtle @yasbts705 @goldenchemistry @arvbellas @anothershorthuman @golden-pixie-dust-200 @onlinewhale @maknaeroni @sweetchocolategoblin @conslack @missbowkimjinju @pocketfullofsuga @booklover240 @dimple-jungkook @squishyshit @sakurauchiha2018 @keylowmonie @untainted-memories @babybluebisexual @dearbangtan07 @joyful-jimin @glossdust @mayumioutloud @needyvmin @the-real96 @brinnalaine @lovebuginlove @smolchild95 @miraisnotavailable @eilowyneleyne @kiddrauhlfeels @silverlightprincess

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fair-fae · 5 years

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Entry #4: Shifting Blame

FFXIVWrite2019 @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast Prompt #4: Shifting Blame “Where is my coin purse, ya lil shite?” the Highlander roared. Being cornered at the edge of a dead-end alleyway by an angry and armed man wasn’t exactly an ideal situation for C’therin, but pickpocketing an Immortal Flame had been a gamble. Of course, deescalation was not her forte, even if it was probably in her best interests. “Shit, I dunno, s’posed t’be in yer pants, but ya tell me,” she fired back, much to his displeasure. “It sure the hells is supposed to be there!” he raised his voice. Perhaps he hadn’t quite caught onto the meaning of her quip. Either way, his hand rested upon the hilt of the scimitar still sheathed at his hip. “I ain’t playin’ games! I felt ya take it from my pocket when ya bumped into me earlier!” She jolted, lifting both hands in front of herself, her palms open and facing outward toward him innocently. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ain’t no need for violence, pal! We’re frrriendly here!” the Miqo’te cooed. The man paused and reconsidered, his hand releasing the handle of the weapon. “You’re right. Ain’t need no blade to shake it outta ya.” His large hands reached forward, groping for the baggy, tattered rags she wore as clothing, but she bristled and swatted them away with surprising strength for the Seeker’s petite frame. “Hey now!” she hissed, retreating and flattening her back against the wall behind her. “Can’t rub yer hands all over the merrrchandise ‘less yer gonna pay, an’ from the sound of it, ya ain’t got no gil now!” Her mismatched eyes glinted keenly. “But... look, I ain’t no snitch, but if yer gonna manhandle me, I s’pose I ain’t got much choice.” “Oh?” He backed off, folding his massive arms over his equally massive chest and glowering down at C’therin, suspicious. “Yeah! I saw who did it. It was that Lalafell merrrchant at the Exchange, yeah, y’know the one? Sneaky lil shits. Ya’d think he has ‘nough gil of his own, but I guess that’s all those merrchant types do anyroad--swindle other people outta their harrrd-earrrned gil!” “...no, I dunno the one. You’re gonna have to be a lil more specific than that,” the Flame gruffed. She huffed out a sigh, rolling her eyes. “Aw, hells. Fine, fine. I’ll take ya t’him, but ya really owe me one. Firrrst trrryin’ t’blame this on me an’ rough me up, now yer gonna get me a reputation as a boot-licker,” she grumbled, ducking past the Highlander and making her way out of the destitute alleyway, leading him back to the hustle and bustle of the Sapphire Exchange. They weaved through the hectic crowd until the merchant was in sight (which meant getting quite close, given all the bystanders who towered over the Lalafell), harking his wares. She pointed toward him. “There! That’s him.” The merchant’s gaze found the pair, and he paused and narrowed his eyes at C’therin. “You!” He cried out before he turned his attention to the Immortal Flame. “This street rat must have stolen from my stall again! And you’ve come to return my pilfered goods? Fine work you’ve done, it’s wondrous to see our taxes put to good use! Thank the Twelve!” “Who ya callin’ a rat?” Therin snapped. “Yer a toddler with a mustache!” Aghast, the merchant reeled in horror at the insult for a moment before he leaned forward to spit into the woman’s face... or attempted to, at least. His saliva found her chest instead, but it seemed to have the intended effect all the same, the Miqo’te gritting her teeth and lunging toward the Lalafell. He cowered, but she had only just swung an arm toward him before the Highlander gripped her arm, halting her then tugging her backward, sending her stumbling back a few steps. “That’s a good one!” the Highlander barked, looming far above the Lalafell. “I know you stole from me!” He practically had to kneel to grab the merchant’s apron and easily tug it off his waist, holding the garment upside down and giving it a shake. Along with the merchant’s own gil and other odds and ends, a pouch quite familiar to the Highlander spilled onto the street. He bent to pick it up and gave it a small toss upon his palm, satisfied with its weight. The merchant gasped, taken aback. “What!? Why, I’ve never seen that before in my life!” “Like hells ya haven’t! Or are ya gonna tell me it ended up there all by itself, huh!?” The Highlander wasn’t about to be satisfied until he’d counted every lost coin and accounted for each piece, but as he opened the bag, he saw not the glimmer of gil, but a handful of pebbles inside. “What in Seven Hells? ....Thal’s balls!” He growled, turning around to where he had sent C’therin stumbling behind him. However, she was long gone, disappeared into the crowd with a pleased smirk upon her face and the jingle of gil within her pocket. @kitty-ffxiv

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innerpostmentality · 5 years

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Sometimes Beginnings Start With Goodbye Part V- Meridoc

This is a TRR AU fan fic inspired by the Choices book series The Royal Romance All rights and many thanks are given to Pixelberry Studios for the use of their characters. This fic is written for my friend @tornbetween2loves it started as a birthday fic and has expanded. Please read these stories in order or they won’t make sense. The series links can be found in my Masterlist. There will be more parts to this series. Featuring: King Liam, Drake Walker, Dr. Marissa Ardes, Dr. Meridoc Finn Rating: M - Mature themes, Serious illness, Hospital setting Word count: close to 3000 Warnings: depictions of depression, hospitalization, and life threatening illness Tagging: @tornbetween2loves @gardeningourmet @kennaxval @stopforamoment @bobasheebaby @cora-nova @indiacater @hopefulmoonobject @drakewalkerwhipped @carabeth @darley1101 @furiousherringoperatortoad

Dr. Meridoc Finn looked over the letter again. Dear Meri,

I’ve got a case I need your help with and I think you might be interested in. Drake Walker is the patient. He’s the King of Cordonia’s best friend and I’m currently treating him for Sepsis and Wernicke-Korsakoff. He’s 29, Meri, lives in the Royal Palace. I’ve got a waiting room full of people who care about him but for some reason he doesn’t seem to really want to live. King Liam wants his rehab done at the palace rather than a rehab center. He’s actually fairly physically fit. Sepsis was from a dirty splinter, it’s Tetanus and not MRSA which is what I was fearing before we got the results. His mom has serious depression and I suspect that he may have a similar issue. His brain activity looks like he may be aware but he’s not responding. I know you were studying Rehabilitative Psychology as well as your Physical Therapy work. The King needs someone who can direct setting up the facilities needed for Mr. Walker’s rehab. I told him you’re the best in the world and he asked me to contact you. I advised King Liam that you were currently tending your dad and that he would need to make accommodations for you to continue to be able to do that if he wanted to retain you. He seemed amenable. Best guess is Mr. Walker is going to be in hospital for three to four weeks. I haven’t looked over the palace facilities but if they have to do any construction they don’t have long. Give me a call when you get this and I’ll put you in touch. Marissa

Six months ago she had resigned her position as head of the Rehabilitative Physical Therapy department at The National Rehabilitation Hospital in Dublin to take care of her dadai after the wreck that took her mom. He was certainly doing better with her there but she was getting more restless by the day. She had gone from working 18 to 20 hour 4 on/3 off weeks coordinating teams of doctors working treatments for dozens of patients both in and out of hospital to taking care of her apartment, her dog, and her dadai and the small garden she’d planted on the terrace of her apartment. To keep busy she’d repainted her apartment twice and was planning on repainting it again. She’d refinished her coffee table, her rocking chair, her bed. Started making clothes until she filled up both their wardrobes and started making them to give away. For income she’d made a deal with the National University of Ireland to teach online courses. As part of her agreement with them they also provided her with full access to any medical or medicinal related book available.

A six month “working vacation” at the Cordonian Royal Palace might be just what she and her dadai needed.

Both women stood only to drop into curtseys as King Liam entered the small, tidy office of Dr. Marissa Ardes Head of Critical Care. Liam gave them the slightest of smiles and took the unoccupied seat that he thought must be Dr. Ardes’ desk chair that she had graciously given up for this meeting. He knew the other woman must be Dr. Meridoc Finn. But he really wasn’t prepared for the four foot ten ‘lil orphan Annie’ all grown up who also happened to be one of the top Rehabilitative Physical Therapist with additional certifications in Psychology in Europe if not the world.

“Your Majesty, it is my pleasure to present my friend and colleague Dr. Meridoc Finn. Dr. Finn, it is my honor to introduce you to His Majesty King Liam of Cordonia.”

Liam nodded. “Thank you for coming Dr. Finn. Please let us dispense with the formalities. I’m not here as the king. I’m here as Drake Walker’s brother. He is the brother of my heart, and I…” He closed his eyes and swallowed a moment as his voice broke. “I need to know, to be certain, that we are doing everything possible to, to get him through this.”

Dr. Finn was studying him with the darkest blue eyes he’d ever encountered. “Aye, we’re all in accord on that Sir. The thing is to determine how that’s best accomplished. I understand your desire to have him in the palace for his rehabilitation. And we can certainly make a list of all the equipment that is needed, some of which you likely already have in place if you have a gym and a pool.” She looked at him and frowned.

“But there is something more going on here, Sir. I’ve read his files. I do agree with Dr. Ardes; I believe that he is aware. The question is what is the cause of his non-responsive behavior? I mean no offense Sir, but am I correct in my understanding that Mr. Walker has been residing in the palace for many years; but in the last year his drinking escalated?”

Liam frowned looking pained. “That is what I’ve been told.”

She looked at him silently until he dropped his eyes and continued quietly. “The last year has been very hectic for the Crown. Our royal duties have demanded more attention than we would wish. I have not spent nearly as much time as I would like with Drake, or any of my friends to be honest.”

Meridoc studied the young king. She could see the concern and stress and knew that he did care for his friend. Her voice was gentle, “Sir would you mind telling me about yourself and Mr. Walker’s relationship? How you became friends? What your friendship is like? Have you any insight to share regarding what may have caused his break?”

“We were young, six or seven I guess. We are only a few months apart in age. Drake is older. His dad took the job as head of the king’s guard. He wasn’t happy about moving here. He didn’t really trust me until I took the blame when he got caught with one of the guards tasers. I knew he would get in much worse trouble than I would so I said that I took it wanting to show off to him. From then on we were close.” Liam frowned and ran his hands through his sandy curls.

He looked at Meridoc a long moment and sighed. “Honestly Doctor Finn, I… I feel like I failed Drake. We both fell in love with Giselle. We talked about it. Agreed that she would have to choose between us but that no matter what; we would still be best friends. We would still be there for each other.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and wiped a tear off his cheek. “It was my honest intention. But I got swept up in the insanity going on in the world. Trying to do what was best for the country. Trying to be, somehow even in my absence a good husband for Giselle. And I knew Giselle loved Drake like a brother. And she knew she had hurt him when she picked me. Instead of being supportive I think, I can only imagine, it felt like I was dismissive.

Giselle worried that if she tried to be close to Drake it would only make things worse especially if the press learned that they were socializing when I was out of the country. For Drake it must have seemed that we had both abandoned him. And I know…” Liam looked anguished.

“… Drake’s mom abandoned him and his sister. After his dad was killed in the line of duty she had a breakdown. It was bad. Bastien took over raising Him and Savannah. Bastien did a stellar job but I know his mom leaving them was devastating for Drake.” Liam shook his head and wept.

He didn’t really see the looks exchanged by the doctors.

Finally, Meridoc spoke gently, “Sir, I don’t know your friend. What you’ve told us certainly is pertinent to his mental state. That said, Mr. Walker is an adult. You did not make these choices for him. It is Not your fault what has happened.

I have not seen him yet. What I would like to do is to spend a week assessing him. At the end of the week I will give you my decision about whether I think I can do him any good. I will give you a list of equipment we will need to be able to work his rehab at the palace. Will this work for you?”

Liam looked at both doctors the devastation clear in his eyes. “I will do anything I can, whatever I can to get my friend’s life back. Please help me?”

“Sir,” Meridoc looked at him steadily. “let us begin then. If you would be willing to introduce me to him I would appreciate it.”

Liam nodded and stood. Both doctors stood as he did. Dr. Ardes asked, “If I may. Would you follow me Sir? I would like to observe if that would be okay Dr. Finn?”

Meridoc nodded; and followed Dr. Ardes and the King to the ICU. Dr. Finn and Liam got smocked up but Dr. Ardes told them she would observe through the window. Meridoc and Dr. Ardes went to the central station and looked at Drake’s file and the monitors in the station quietly discussing lab results and looking at print outs from the EEG. Finally Meridoc went over to Liam looking through the window at the cocooned body of his friend.

“Your Majesty… Sir, his charts are showing improvement. They have him wrapped up because the dialysis tends to chill you. But his kidneys are showing response. That’s actually excellent news from where he was a day ago even. He’s responding to the targeted antibiotics and his blood counts look a lot better. “

Liam looked down into her earnest sapphire eyes. “Why do you think he won’t respond, Dr. Finn?”

She studied the scruffy face, the unruly chestnut hair, and thought about the file on the man who seemed to be waging a lifelong war between his desire for independence and his sense of duty. She turned back to Liam and met his gaze levelly.

“My highly unprofessional gut feeling is that he’s tired of giving up or giving in.”

Liam felt gut punched. He shook his head. “Pardon? I don’t understand.”

“I could be wrong.” She looked back at Drake. “I read his file. I listened to you talk about him. It seems to me that every relationship he’s in seems to follow a pattern of codependency. He’s used to the role of caregiver. And all his life he has sacrificed himself for the welfare and benefit of those he loves.

When these things happen and a caregiver winds up helpless they often don’t react well. They are frequently guilt ridden and mortified as those who they’ve cared for in the past come visit. It’s almost like a priest in a confessional listening to everyone they love apologize for a lifetime of taking them for granted. Unable physically to care for others they fall into a depressive spiral feeling useless.” She looked back at Liam. “Being unresponsive can be a response you know. It just doesn’t suit our needs. I think at this moment it may suit his.” She frowned.

“Sir, I could be really wrong about this. And we need to figure out if he’s being willfully unresponsive or if he is mentally impaired and has forgotten how to respond. Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome can lead to severe speech, coordination, and cognitive impairment.

I would like to try something if you are willing. I would like for you to introduce me just as though he were responsive. Introduce me and then go join Dr. Ardes for a few minutes. I would like to talk with him.”

Liam gave her a curious look but nodded. Then he opened the door for her. Her eyes widened her mask covered her startled smile as the king opened the door for her.

Liam looked at her as they approached the bed and she nodded at him.

“Hello Drake, I would like to introduce Dr. Meridoc Finn. She’s from Ireland and a friend of Dr. Ardes. Dr Finn, this is my best friend, Drake Walker.”

Meridoc carefully took one of Drake’s hands and gave him a firm handshake. “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Walker. I hope you don’t mind that I have asked his Majesty to let me speak with you privately for a few minutes.” As Meridoc went to set his hand down he squeezed her hand. Her eyes widened but Liam was looking at Drake and didn’t notice. She turned to look at the window where Dr. Ardes was standing and nodded. Dr. Ardes smiled.

“Your Majesty if you could give us a few minutes I would appreciate it.”

“Of course Dr.” Liam gently stroked the covers over Drake’s shoulder. “I’ll be back in a bit Drake. Don’t tell the doctor too many of our secrets.”

After Liam left Meridoc smiled at Drake and went to the foot of the bed. “I’m sorry to be meetin’ you under these circumstances Mr. Walker. Would you mind if I lower you a wee bit? I didn’t do such a fine job of growin’ and wound up on the short side of things.” She went to the bed controls at the foot of the bed and pushed a button that lowered the whole bed carefully watching to be certain none of his connecting cords or IV lines got tangled. Then she went back up to stand next to him taking his hand again. “I hope this is okay.”

He squeezed her hand again.

“I’m a doctor of Physical Therapy and my friend Dr. Ardes thought I might be able to be of service. Your friend the King there, well he’s busy growing some gray hairs worrying about you. Fact is you have a lot of friends wearing out the chairs in the waiting room. Anyway, the King wants you to have the option of doing your rehab in the palace rather than here if you are amenable to that. Ach, but I’m getting ahead of myself. I have this suspicion that no one has really told you what happened and why you are here….”

He drifted in an endless sea of darkness, and noise, and pain.

He thought he might be dead but surly if he was it wouldn’t be so loud, and there wouldn’t be so much pain.

He was cold, achingly cold and bound, and tired so, so terribly, terribly tired.

They were talking to him. He heard their voices through the pounding rush of his blood running through his body every nerve burning, every joint so painful he wanted to scream but he couldn’t, somehow his body had become a thing of torture hurting and not responding to his will.

There wasn’t any time in this prison. Just periodically some new agony, some new torment washed over him, inescapable.

He was thirsty. His mouth so dry he thought this must be what being a mummy felt like.

He realized that something had changed. Everything seemed muted a little, the pain, the noise, even the darkness somehow seemed a little lighter. He was still bone cold. Still tired.

Then he heard Liam’s voice. Introducing him to a doctor like they were at some social function. He focused on the words trying to anchor himself out of the dark vortex that was always trying to suck his awareness away. “…friend, Drake Walker.” A soft hand was taking his in a firm and gentle handshake. Somehow, somehow he held it. It hurt. But he focused on it and held on like it was a hand extended to him in the bottom of a pit he couldn’t find his way out of.

There was a voice he didn’t know, soft and clear, with a lilt that gave it the quality of a sweet song softly sung. It pulled him further from the darkness. She was saying something and he was trying to remember what the words meant. Then he was moving somehow.

Her hand was there again. She was telling him more things. He knew the words but couldn’t put the meanings to all of them.

He needed to see her. Needed to see her.

Meridoc studied him as he continued to squeeze her hand holding it almost like he was afraid to let it go. She squeezed it back gently. “I’m not going anywhere. You are going to be fine. Are you tryin’ to wake up a bit, Mr. Walker?” She saw his eyes move under his lids. “I’m going to touch your eyes a little and see if that helps you. Just squeeze my hand a bit more if you want me to stop.”

With her right hand she carefully, carefully stroked across his eyelids. A little more movement and he groaned.

“I know. It’s really hard. But you are doing so much better.” she cooed softly to him.

Somehow she could feel the struggle in him. Knew he was fighting to respond the best he could. He was so young to be in such shape she thought. She reached across him with her free hand and squeezed the call button.

Dr. Ardez opened the door popping her head in. “Do you need assistance Dr. Finn?”

Meridoc smiled, “I think I need a chair. He’s trying to respond. I may be here awhile. He doesn’t seem inclined to let go of my hand.”

#trr fanfic #trr drake #trr liam #trr au fanfic #sometimes beginnings start with goodbye

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topfics · 6 years

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I’m Not The Only One

Harry Styles X Reader

A/N: okay so this is the next part to Too Good At Goodbyes. I wanted to keep the theme of Sam Smith songs, and I think that this song was the best one to make as the sequel. It may or may not follow the whole song to a tee seeing as I’m of course following the story I’ve made, but I hope you guys enjoy. There’s also hints of From the Dining Table by Harry himself, just because I think it fits in really well with the story. Let me know if I should make a part 3!!!!

part one here!

Warnings: angst, mention of sex, breakup

“Love, what do you mean we don’t stand a chance? Of course we do!” Harry stutters out. Tears begin to well in his eyes, finding his hands reaching for Y/N. She instinctively backs away, shaking her head.

“No, I don’t think we do, Harry. It’s sad but it’s true, right?” she begins to wail. “It fucking hurts Harry. You’ve really let me down. I let myself down for thinking that this relationship was going to last. I’ve denied every tear, every pain in my chest… and… and for what? For you to leave me again? Harry, we live in completely different worlds and I don’t know… maybe we’re on different paths right now. And I think what we need is to be away from each other.” she sniffles. She wipes her eyes one more time before standing up.

“Baby, please, can we please just talk ‘bout this?” he pleads. “We can make this work, promise.” he sits up and reaches for her once more, only to be denied a simple touch.

She winces when he calls her baby, knowing damn well that she wasn’t the only one he calls that. It was always in his personality to be extremely charismatic and flirtatious. He was a charming man, no one could resist it.

“Please, don’t call me baby. I know I’m not the only one. I just… need a break. From you, from us. I… I can’t take it anymore.” she stammers. “I’m going upstairs, I’m going to pack my things, and leave. When I’m ready, we can talk if you still love me, or want me. I’ve loved you for so long… for so many years. But maybe I’m not enough.” she laughs a little to herself throwing her arms up in the air, just like whenever someone feels ridiculous for crying or saying something.

Harry shuts his eyes but nods, letting her turn her back and walk away. Maybe she was right, maybe they did need a break. He leans back into the couch, the life leaving his body. He could hear her softly sobbing upstairs, struggling to breathe. All he wanted to do was to go up there and hold her, but Harry knew better than to go up there while their relationship was on the brink of extinction. Did she really think that he would move on that quickly? That he would ever love anyone the way he loves her?

He snaps out of his trance when she comes down with her suitcase full of her things, dragging it to the door. Harry could feel his heart shatter when he saw her swollen eyes and pale face. He hated himself for doing this to her, though a part of him felt like he did nothing wrong. What the hell was his problem? He loved Y/N more than anything in this world, so why wasn’t he fighting harder for her?

Y/N grabs her keychain and takes the house key off, dropping it on the counter. She looks around the house one more time before walking to the door.

She briefly turns to Harry and gives him a sad smile.

“Bye, Harry.” she states before walking out the door, and perhaps out of his life forever.

Harry and Y/N weren’t married. They talked about it a lot, but the timing was always a little off. Between working things out with school and touring, their lives were hectic. That being said, they made vows to each other to always love each other, to stick things out for better or for worse. And he broke those vows when he began to go about his drunken ways. Harry came way too close to cheating on Y/N. Too many times to count. When she left, Harry was left empty. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He often found it easy to seek out prey, especially ones that looked just like Y/N. He would bring them back to what used to be their shared house, and he would fuck them like it was the end of the world. It was never the same love-making that he would have with Y/N, but it would have to do for now. He knew it was wrong, in every part of his being. But he didn’t know how to fill that empty void in his heart.

The minute he was finished, he would kick them out as fast as he reeled them in. He would always come close to saying her name, but stopped himself before he could. Harry was pathetic. He would wake up and play with himself, wondering where Y/N was, if she was thinking of him. He would get drunk by noon, and this process would repeat again and again.

They haven’t spoke since she left. He wondered how she was doing, he wanted to know if she was doing better, or if she was crying. Harry would give anything just to hold her once more.

Y/N eventually found a roommate and found a small apartment close to the university. She wasn’t the same. She wasn’t happy, she didn’t feel like that loving girl she used to be. Sure, she knew that she would eventually learn to breathe on her own, but at the moment it seemed impossible. How did this happen? Why didn’t he fight harder for her to stay? How could years of love just go down the drain like that? Y/N lay in bed, curled in a ball. She shut her eyes and cried silently to herself, hoping that this pain that seemed never-ending would just go away.

She snaps out of her trance when her phone begins to buzz. Y/N wipes her eyes and grabs it, seeing texts from her best friend.

“Y/N, you better not fucking go back to this man-whore. I know this is not what you want to hear, but he’s been sleeping around ever since you left. He isn’t worth it, never was. Please, delete his number. Delete all of your photos of the two of you together. It’s gonna make things so much easier.”

Y/N shakes as she reads the text. He really could just move on like that, huh? She grabs her pillow and screams into it, throwing her phone at the wall. She pulls her knees into her chest, running her hands through her hair, rocking back and forth. She was wailing, calling for help. She hoped someone would her pleas, but no one did. She sobs for hours and hours until she becomes numb. Y/N no longer felt any pain, didn’t feel cold anymore. She was just existing. Who knew that this would hurt so much? Anything would feel better than the emotional trauma she was feeling right now. Not only did she lose her lover, but she lost her best friend too. That’s what hurt the most.

Y/N glances over at her phone when it buzzes, her eyes glazed over. She reaches for it slowly, answering when she sees that it’s Niall.

“Hello? Y/N? You alright?” Niall inquires when he doesn’t hear her voice when she picked up.

“Fine, Niall.” Y/N replied with a raspy voice. He could tell that she’s been crying and yelling. He knew that she wasn’t okay. Two of his best friends could not be in worse shape than they were. Sure, both of them handled the breakup differently, but how the hell was he supposed to mend this broken heart? Niall didn’t blame her for leaving, Harry was an asshole, and continues to be so to this day. Niall hated Harry for what he did to Y/N, seeing as she was like his little sister. He wanted to beat the shit out of him so he would come to his senses. He knew that they still needed each other despite everything that’s been happening. Harry was a hot mess. He was sleeping around endlessly, drinking too much for his own good, and he wasn’t that same grounded popstar he once was when Y/N was around. On the other side of the spectrum, Y/N was an emotional wreck. She deleted all of her photos off her social media, ignored phone calls from her friends and from Anne and Gemma. Occasionally she would tweet that she was alright, but everyone knew that she wasn’t. She was kind enough to tell people to not go attacking Harry, but they all knew what happened, and they knew he was in the wrong.

“Can I come and get ya? Want to take you out for some fresh air. Might do ya some good, lad.”

“Sure. I’d… really like that.” she croaks.

“Great. Be there ‘n 15.”

After she hangs up, she picks herself up off the ground, attempting to clean herself up slightly. She washes her face and changes into something a bit nicer, putting on minimal makeup to help mask her dark circles under her eyes. She looks in the mirror and frowns at the broken girl she sees.

“Get yourself together, Y/N!” she thinks to herself. “Get over it, the two of you aren’t together anymore, he can do whatever the hell he wants. It isn’t my problem. If he wants to fuck random girls, let him. Stop caring. If he remotely cared for you he would’ve fought for you.” she reminds herself. “I am strong. I am beautiful, and I don’t need him.”

She walks out to the front of her apartment complex, getting into Niall’s car when he pulls up. Niall looks at her with sad eyes and squeezes her hand with reassurance. Y/N smiles slightly at her brotherly figure, holding his hand the entire car ride to her favorite coffee shop.

Niall opens her car door and simply hugs her when she steps outside, knowing damn well that she was about to break any second. It wasn’t easy for Y/N to see one of Harry’s former bandmates, let alone knowing that he would be seeing Harry soon as he was about to start his debut tour.

Y/N holds onto Niall’s shirt tightly, hiding her head in his chest. She cries lightly into his soft shirt, letting his warmth comfort her. After a couple of minutes, she stops and wipes her eyes.

“You good?” he asks quietly. “We can stay out ‘ere a lil’ longer if ya like.”

She nods her head and begins walking inside the coffee shop. Niall follows suit, making sure that no paparazzi were following suit. He kindly asks the manager to shut all the blinds, to which she happily obliges. She knew what it was like to feel so broken, and not having the space to weep because family and friends were so concerned.

Niall thanks her sweetly, making his way back to his heartbroken friend.

“I think we should talk about it.” Niall states gently.

Y/N looks up slowly from her hands, nodding her head slowly in agreement. In her head, she knew it was better to talk about what happened rather than keeping it all inside. It was a bad idea to not ever let anyone know what was going on through her mind. For a long time, she wasn’t ready to talk, but it had been a couple of weeks and she was slowly dying on inside because it kept eating at her conscious. She always wondered if she was wrong to leave, or if she was justified at all. Was she crazy for still wanting him? For still needing him in her life?

“I just… I don’t know. I feel like I’m going crazy.” she begins. “I love him, I really really do. I hate him for what he’s been doing, but I could never hate him. Is it wrong that I still need him in my life? Even if we aren’t together? He’s still my best friend, and losing that friendship was harder than breaking up with him.” Y/N begins to play with her rings, not making eye contact with Niall. She didn’t want him to see how dull her eyes became.

“I don’t think yer crazy. Not at all. You know I love the both of ya. Which is why it hurts me that you both are in this situation. If I’m bein’ honest, I think he needs you just as much as you need him. Ya know… he lost his best friend too. You were right to leave. Yer mental health is more important than anythin’. He should’ve never even thought that cheatin’ coulda been a possibilty. I hate ‘im for doin’ this to ya. Probably gonna talk to him when I see him next.” Niall claims before taking a sip of his tea. “It ain’t right. The two of ya need to talk. Make up. You need each other. Don’t ‘ave to be a genius to know that.”

Y/N frowns and looks up at the brunette man sitting in front of her, dreading the fact that he was right. Perhaps they weren’t meant to be a couple, but losing their friendship was something that the both of them feared immensely. And that’s what’s happening. She never wanted to lose Harry in that aspect. He always knew when something was wrong; it was like he had a sixth sense for her. If she was ever in trouble, he was there. If someone hurt her and she was crying, he was there holding her until she felt okay again. Y/N was a strong woman, but she feels things so greatly, it causes her to become fragile. Most times she was too strong and she would break down all at once, because she felt as though she wasn’t supposed to for other people. She felt obligated to be the strong one no matter what.

“I know… you’re right. I just… don’t know if I can do it. He didn’t even fight, Niall. He just… let me walk. Was I wrong…? Should I have stayed and tried to make it work? Is this all my fault?” Y/N’s eyes began to water once more, her hands beginning to tremble slightly.

“No, love. Don’t think any of this is yer fault. Maybe Harry jus’ needs time to think, to get his shit together. You fought hard to make it work. Harry was the one who fucked up. Ya did nothin’ wrong. Don’t ever blame yerself.” he reaches over and takes her hands in his larger ones, giving them a tight squeeze. “Give it a couple more days, then give ‘im a call. It’ll do ya good.”

Y/N nods her head, finally touching her drink. The two sit in silence for awhile, not saying a word. He simply let her think about what she was going to do. After they were finished with their drinks, he took her back to the hotel he was staying at, knowing she didn’t want to be alone in her apartment.

“Make yerself at home.” Niall coos. He rubs Y/N’s back and walks to the kitchen, grabbing a cup of ice cold water for her to sip on. He grabs the telly remote and turns it on, flipping through the channel until he finds a comedy movie, hoping that it would at least get a chuckle out of her. He glances over at her and frowns. Sure, she’s watching, but no emotion is being expressed. He knew this was one of her favorites, and it had no effect whatsoever.

Niall sighs and wraps an arm around her, Y/N’s head easily falling onto his shoulder. Tears fall from her eyes, but no sounds come from her mouth. He rubs her back until she falls asleep, carrying her to his bed. He lays her down gently and tucks her in, kissing the top of her head.

“Everything’s gonna be alright, lad.” he whispers before walking out to sleep on the couch.

Harry grumbles when his phone buzzes for what seemed like the hundredth time. He opens one eye and reaches for it, falling over due to the hangover that resulted from last night’s drinking.

“ ‘ello?” he slurs, his voice raspy from just waking up.

“Hey, mate. It’s me, Niall. Still meetin’ up today fo’ some lunch?” he inquires.

“Right, yeah. Meet you in 15?”

“Sure, lad. See ya soon.”

Harry groans and rolls out of bed, gripping his head as the light hits his emerald eyes. He makes his way to the bathroom, quickly showering and getting dressed. Harry looks at his rings, putting them all on, tracing his thumb over the rose ring Y/N bought him. He sighs and rubs his eyes, making his way to his rental car.

Niall sits and waits for his former bandmate to show up, checking his phone to make sure Y/N hadn’t messaged him. Y/N was back in her hometown for uni, while Niall travelled to see Harry on his first show of his tour. When he first heard the news about the two of them splitting, he immediately flew to see Y/N to ensure she was alright.

Niall sits up when he sees Harry walking in, getting up from his seat to give him a hug. Harry returns it tightly, taking a seat across from his friend.

“How are you, mate?” Harry asks groggily, still not fully awake.

“Fine. I think the question is… how are you?” he questions. “Because if ‘m bein’ honest, ya look like shit.”

“Feel like it too.” Harry chuckles. “Honestly… ‘ve been better.” he simply states, thanking the waitress when he brings him a cup of coffee.

“Can tell.” Niall laughs. “Y/N’s been pretty shitty as well. Probably more than you.”

“You’ve seen her?” Harry asks, a glimmer of hope in his eyes when he mentions her name.

“ ‘f course I have, lad. You broke her. Had to make sure my lil’ sister was okay. Pretty pissed at you. What the fuck were you thinking?” Niall growled.

“Look, mate… if I knew I would tell you. All I know is that I fucked up. When she left, I didn’t know what to do. Had a hole I needed to fill. So I did what I thought would help.”

“Which was what? Sleepin’ ‘round with women that look like Y/N?” he softly yelled.

Harry glared at his friend, rolling his eyes.

“I don’t need a lecture from you. Gem and my mum already did enough of that.”

Niall held his hands up but didn’t relent.

“Fine, won’t lecture ya. But I am gonna tell ya how damn bloody stupid ya are. Jesus, Harry! This is years and years of a relationship building that just went down the shithole! Yer better than this. Ya need to fix it. The both of ya. It’s killin’ me to see you both this way.

Harry looks down in defeat, nodding his head.

“Yeah, I know. Gotta fix it soon, don’t I?”

Y/N stumbles around her apartment, her roommate out with her boyfriend. She definitely had a little too much to drink. She grabbed her phone and began to play some music, scoffing when a song of Harry’s came on. She glared at her phone and skipped it angrily, taking another big swig of her beer. She bumps her hip into the corner of her desk, a photo falling down. Y/N groans and bends down, picking up the fallen frame. When she turns around, she is greeted by a photo of her and Harry together, a beanie covering his head, his eyes closed with a big smile on his face. She had one hand caressing his right cheek, her lips kissing his other. Tears well in her eyes as she stares at the photo, reminiscing of times when it was simple and happy. She hated being away from Harry. But she needed to know why he didn’t fight. Was she really not worth it? Did he not care anymore?

She stands back up on her feet, stumbling once more. Y/N downs her beer and goes to the fridge to grab another one, opening it up. Once again, she takes a giant gulp of beer and sets it down. Reaching for her phone, she pulls up Harry’s contact info. She had meant to delete it, but couldn’t bring herself to do so. Night after night, she would stare at the delete button, contemplating whether or not she really should do it. If she did, that would be it. It would really be over between the two of them.

Y/N bites her bottom lip and hits the call button, instantly regretting the drunken phonecall. Her heart plummets when it begins to dial. It only took one ring before Harry answers. Both ends of the phone were silent, except for Y/N’s soft cries.

“Why didn’t you fight for me?”

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adamcoled · 7 years

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change pt. 3 | pete dunne

pt. 1, pt. 2

A/N: The last part of this lil series! [’: Pete is so fun to write and I hope I wrote him well.

Tag Friends: @heelturn-timesten, @crookedmoonsaultpunk, @lahey-trash, @xfirespritex, @blondekel77, @nickysmum1909 (I tagged the same people as last time!)

Neither of us felt particularly inclined to reveal to many people that we were dating. There was no reason to, and if we did, most would probably hide their shock and disbelief that Pete Dunne could be anything more than a one night stand behind forced smiles. The kind of smiles that show a million stories beneath it easily. It wasn’t that we were hiding it, just that we opted to keep it subtle. Our closest friends knew, which included Tyler, who couldn’t even try to suppress his surprise at the news. He was happy for us, happy that Pete had finally waken up from whatever emotionless coma he fell into over a year ago, but it was the way he struggled to find words at first that told it all. There was, and always would be, a lingering worry that Pete hadn’t really change. Habits are hard to break.

I couldn’t blame him; it was a thought I had too, though I wished I didn’t. Relationships depends on trust, which I had in Pete, but there were occasional doubts when I remembered his past with women. And Tyler had known Pete longer than I have, knew him better, and he’d thought he would never see the day Pete tried commitment again. My months knowing him had nothing on Tyler’s years.

Only a little over a week after things between Pete and I became official, Tyler and I found ourselves sat upon a couch in my apartment as I waited for him to speak; he’d turned to me, opening his mouth to say something before he stopped himself. When I didn’t look away, he sighed, realizing he couldn’t drop the subject there.

“Pete really has changed, huh?” he finally settled on, his words chosen wisely. It was a sensitive subject, since he didn’t want to stir any trouble or qualms.

“It seems so,” I half-smiled, fiddling with my fingers absentmindedly.

“I’m glad you’re the one who knocked some sense into him. Got him to actually feel somethin’,” Tyler returned my smile before it faltered ever so slightly a second later, “I know it may seem like Pete is confident about everything, but let me tell you something between you and me.

“He hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing. I mean, he’s doing a pretty good job so far, but I’m tellin’ the truth when I say he’s come to me for advice on this whole thing more than once. It’s all new for him and…And I’m just asking you to stick by him.”

His sudden speech confused me entirely, its origins and meaning blurred by how cryptic the whole thing seemed. Did Tyler doubt I was in it for the long run? Had Pete said something that spurred on this spiel? The whole thing seemed odd, making Pete seem like the vulnerable one for once. Tyler had every right to protect his friend, but Pete wasn’t someone who needed protecting.

I turned on the couch to face him, even though he remained looking forward at the movie we’d long forgotten. He only made brief eye contact with me, refusing to turn my way. “I will,” I assured him, my voice stern as I hoped to convey my utmost dedication, “Where’s this coming from?”

Finally, Tyler shifted towards me a bit, releasing yet another sigh. “It’s gonna take him some getting used to and I truly think you’re the best thing that could’ve happened to him. I don’t want to see him go back to the shitty things he was doing if he loses you.”

Little did Tyler know, I had signed up for crazy, not for easy. I had every intention to stick by Pete, even when things got hectic or even if it wasn’t a typical relationship or if he wasn’t good with admitting his feelings. So far he had done a damn good job of keeping a smile on my face and anyone who could do that deserved a chance.

Word got around about us two months later, when we’d become more obvious in our actions and everything was going oddly….perfect. I’d watched as Pete became more and more open, a genuine gracing his face often as opposed to his signature snarls and smirks. It didn’t take very long to decide I liked a smile on him best.

He’d even taken on acts that threw me off at first, them being out of his element entirely. Like carrying me from my bed all the way to the couch at 8 in the morning.

“Pete,” I groaned, knowing full well it was too early without even looking at the clock, “Put me down and let me sleep.”

He chuckled, setting me down on the couch with ease. “I gotta leave soon, didn’t you say you wanted to send me off?”

While he was right, I needed at least another two hours of sleep and/or a cup of coffee to wake me up properly. The night before, I’d told him to do whatever he see fit to wake me up before he had to head to the airport. It was a decision I was regretting massively right now. Then again, I couldn’t let him leave for a week without even getting out of bed to say goodbye.

“Nope. Just go.”

It was a joke, he and I both knew, but I couldn’t help but get a little worried when I heard his footsteps make their way to the front door and an “Alright…”slip past his lips.

I shot up from the couch, suddenly wide awake, peering over it to see him by the door, albeit empty-handed. He wouldn’t have even thought about leaving like that. “You know I’m kidding. C’mere,” I grinned, standing on my knees on the couch to match his height, since he was standing directly behind it. He was in front of me in a flash, immediately burying his head in my neck and biting harshly at the skin there.

“Wish we had more time,” he growled, annoyed by his restrictive schedule, pulling back before he could get too distracted.

“Me too,” I sighed, “In a week.”

My reminder did little to satisfy him, in fact he looked all the more irritated. “A week,” he repeated, “Too damn long.”

“That’s nothing. I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I betta get going so I can get back as soon as possible.”

The whole thing seemed straight out of a romance movie or something of the sort, yet I was living it with Pete of all people. I’d have laughed at myself for imagining such a scene in the past, never believing it could ever come to fruition. Now that it had, I was absolutely enraptured by it. If you focused on moments like these specifically, ignoring our challenging circumstances and his daunting past, you could almost believe nothing set us apart from any other couple. Besides his career as a WWE-employed wrestler and forgotten habit of casual sex, that is.

But so far, so good. I knew it couldn’t stay so good forever, because good things never last, right? At least I could hold onto this tiny fragment of perfection, knowing that a storm will always await.

And so it stormed. It was gradual, starting with arguments over curt replies or lack of time together or lesser important topics like him leaving trash around when he stayed over. Eventually, it progressed into days spent apart, not because of distance, but because neither of us wanted to see each other. At some points, I considered ending it; clearly, things were going downhill and would end in a break up, anyway. Why not get it over with sooner?

Before I could act upon these thoughts, I’d remember Tyler’s words and the unspoken promise I’d made to do just what he asked. It was easy to say I would stick by Pete when all was well; when we were arguing more often and going without contact until someone decided to end the childish silence treatment, it was much harder to stay true to that promise. But, it would be incredibly weak to run away the minute it got difficult, and so I forgot my idea and instead decided to fix things.

I’d stopped worrying about the little messes left behind following his visits and stopped the stupid bouts of ignoring each other. My hope was that if he saw my attempts and determination to stay with him, the one who had proven himself time and time again throughout our seven months of dating, he’d make the effort, too.

When that didn’t happen, I just wanted to know why. Why was he suddenly so disinterested, so different, so similar to the Pete I’d never gotten to meet, the one he left behind? Why was he not trying to hold onto what he’d tried so hard to build? Finally, he had something worth holding onto in his life, and he was just going to let it go.

What was really sad was that I couldn’t do the same.

Coincidentally enough, when he ended it, it was raining quite hard and the thunder was pounding ravenously. It had come with a vengeance, seeking some darkness after all those months Pete and I had spent happily. We were lying beside each other in complete, utter silence, the only sound being the heavy rain hitting the roof relentlessly and the booming thunder that struck every so often. I wasn’t asleep, I was glancing out of the window, watching the chaos outside, deciding the chaos that lie right in that very room was even worse. I didn’t know if he was asleep, since we hadn’t said a word to each other since hours ago.

The bedsheets rustled and I felt him turn, meaning he was now facing my back and if I just turned around myself, we’d be face to face. Something was preventing me from doing so, and so I stayed in place, eyes never leaving the gloominess outside.

“This has to end,” he announced suddenly, his voice raspier from how late it was. It didn’t take long at all to figure out what he was implying, and I wasn’t very shocked when he finally said it. Those words must’ve been on his mind for a while now.

“I just want to know why, Pete,” I replied, voice dejected and broken and a lot calmer than it should have been, “I tried so hard and you didn’t try at all.”

Thunder stole his words, louder than any of the recent ones we’d heard. “I know. I’m sorry for that.”

Though he didn’t say the words specifically, I was relieved he didn’t. I didn’t need to hear them to know what this meant and I wasn’t sure I could take hearing them, either. And when I came home one day to notice all of the clothes and belongings that had made home here because of his frequent visits, I knew for certain he was gone.

We didn’t keep in contact, which left me wondering if I was grateful for it or resenting it. The closest connection I had to Pete in the days and weeks to follow was Tyler. There was no way I could cut him out of my life, too.

When he found out what had happened, I’d made it clear that I tried tirelessly and Pete took it all without any intent of reciprocating. Maybe his old ways had kicked in, but for so long we seemed so happy. If it was all a ruse, Pete was an outstanding actor and he put on a hell of a show.

Tyler, on the other hand, was convinced it wasn’t. He knew Pete well enough, but when he insisted this wasn’t him reverting back to his old self, I couldn’t help but doubt his words. There was no other explanation I could think of, and this seemed like a pretty solid conclusion.

I didn’t know the lengths Tyler was willing to go to to prove his friends case until he invited me to his apartment, a seemingly innocent act. When I arrived, however, I stood outside of the door, hearing an ongoing conversation from inside. Just as my hand went to knock, I recognized the voice speaking- of course, it was Pete. And I was the subject at hand.

Tyler had planned it all out, for me to arrive when he and Pete were discussing me. Curse him for being so damn clever.

“You really fucked up,” Tyler quipped.

“You think I don’t know that, mate?” Pete growled, his face definitely contorted in anger, “I didn’t come here to have you state the obvious.”

“Right, you came here for advice, because you really haven’t got a clue how to let good things happen. Don’t get all pissy when I say this, but I think you’re scared.”

Tyler paused for a moment and I could assume Pete had opened his mouth to make a rebuttal, but Tyler had moved on before he could get the words out.

“Just listen, alright? You’re afraid of how she makes you feel, right? Because you’ve never felt that way. And you don’t know how to act, so you just broke things off. A really bad decision, might I add,” Tyler finished, the silence on the other end making it unclear if it was the truth. I hadn’t even thought for a second that Pete’s actions may have stemmed from fear. The word didn’t even seem right in the same sentence as Pete.

But if they somehow were the truth…

Without giving it a second thought, I tapped my fist on the door in quick succession, the door flinging open moments later. Tyler was on the other end, since it was his apartment, but my foolishness had me wishing it was Pete. Rather than greeting me, or saying anything at all, Tyler called out to Pete instead. “Pete! There’s someone here to see you.”

My eyes widened, unprepared to face him after all this time, my mind completely lost as to what to even say. I had thought of a million and one insults and questions, but when he was right in front of me for the first time in weeks, all of those disintegrated and were replaced with an overwhelming desire to be his again.

“You’re welcome,” Tyler said before pushing Pete out and shutting the door, the sound of the lock resonating behind us.

“Tyler did this, didn’t he?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer. Then again, I didn’t even know if Pete had any idea of my arrival, either. The whole thing could have been, and probably was, concocted by Tyler without either of us having a clue. It was impressively thought-out, but still didn’t eliminate the bit of aggravation I felt. Clearly, Tyler was trying to do something good for the both of us, and I was grateful for that. But that didn’t mean he had to arrange something like this, leaving Pete and I standing in the hallway uncomfortably.

If Pete felt any of the annoyance I did, he didn’t show it. He took this as his chance, offering his hand before retracting it once he realized it wasn’t in his place to do that anymore. “Come on,” he instructed, “Let’s go for a drive.”

And so I followed him to his car, getting into the passenger seat I’d sat in so many times before, the atmosphere feeling almost identical to those previous experiences. It was almost like there was nothing wrong between us, until we sat wordlessly for five minutes that would have been filled with teasing and laughter a month ago. This awkward, tense situation reminded me of what we’d let go of, ripping me from the brief recollection of happier days.

My fighting was over. I had fought on my own for our relationship, now it was Pete’s turn to do the same. I wasn’t going to be the one picking up the pieces and gluing them together only for them to crumble back to shattered pieces. It was one thing to say that to myself, it was another to actually act on it and demand him to try for once. “What are we doing, Pete?” I questioned tiredly, running my hands over my face in distress, “If you’re not going to talk, then just take me back to my car.”

“I’m trying to gather my thoughts. You know this isn’t easy for me.”

If I was supposed to feel sympathetic, I didn’t. This entire situation wasn’t easy for him, but nothing about us was ever easy and if I had done it, he sure as hell could do it too. My fingers tapped impatiently, a wordless sign that he had limited time to say whatever it was he wanted to say.

“I made a huge mistake,” he finally settled on, “I know I did. And I’d be lyin’ if I said I don’t regret it every second. I don’t know if you’ll eva take me back, not after how I left ya. But I was a coward.”

He chuckled, unfit for the situation, though he must’ve been laughing at how he was admitting such a thing about himself. Pete Dunne who had girls lined up for him, screaming his name and vying for his attention, Pete Dunne who was a huge star and had a bright future and not a single fear, was a coward. I almost laughed, too.

“I worry that I’ll fuck this up somehow and that you’ll leave. I guess it wasn’t you leaving that I had to worry about,” he finished, and while it seemed like he had plenty of other things to say, I took his silence as a plea for me to say anything at all.

When I tore my attention from the scenery outside the window, I took note of how tightly his fist was clenched around the steering wheel and how his face was devoid of any emotion. I had seen a lot of expressions from Pete, but none at all was a first. “You fucked up real bad,” I agreed, causing his grip to get a little tighter as he sensed the conversation wouldn’t be going how he intended, “And yet I still can’t get you out of my mind.”

There was no use in hiding that face, it was the plain, simple truth and I wanted him to know how invested I was in him. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t going to leave, so long as he didn’t push me away. It was a two way street.

“I miss you, I really do. But how am I supposed to trust that you won’t just walk out again? Or that you won’t just give up?” My voice was getting a little louder by now, my emotions getting the better of me as I stopped trying to bury them beneath some strong front. Tearfully, I confessed how he had broken that trust he’d worked so hard to build and silently cursed myself for letting the tears fall.

When he reached out, wiping the droplets away before they could slide down my cheek, I cried even harder because truthfully, there was no way I could ever be certain he’d stay this time, and I knew my heart couldn’t take a sudden disappearance once more. Even knowing all this, I couldn’t help but embrace his touch, finding comfort in it as I waited for his reassurance.

“I don’t have an answer for you,” he admitted, pulling his hand away, “All I have to say is that seeing you cry right now made me damn sure I never want to be the cause of it again. I swear, this time it’ll be different. I swear it.”

Pete was a man of his word and from then on, he stuck true to that promise. People say promises are meant to be broken, but then again, they also say people can’t change. And I had witnessed the purest form of change in front of my own eyes, witnessing Pete go from someone I would have hated to the only man I’d ever truly loved.

#pete dunne x reader #pete dunne imagine #pete dunne fanfiction #pete dunne fic #pete dunne one shot #wwe fanfiction #wwe imagine #wwe fanfic

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hwallsgrl-archive · 7 years

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kconla ‘17

this is more or less a post for my own reference bc i tend to forget things rlly easily... and i really don’t want to forget this weekend!! sorry if this is unreadable.. like i said, it’s mainly for my own reference ghfjdksn

friday convention: pretty uneventful seeing as it’s only the first day... me n my friend lined up to try for the w1 hitouch but we were told to come back at 2pm. we had heize’s audience engagement to go to at that time, so we just ended up buying w1 banners and nametags anyways bc tbh.. we didn’t have a chance at winning LOL.. (i heard fansites bought all the merch tho? so at least we got our stuff before that madness). a lot of people were selling their heize passes, so the rest of our party bought them to go in and honestly.. it’s a loss for the people who sold them !! heize is one of the sweetest n down to earth people i’ve ever met/seen... someone in the hi-touch area got her an olaf backpack and she was so excited!! she also said she really liked the vibe of la and that more people showed up than she expected (which broke my heart HJKDS). she also describes herself as a “srapper/ringer” bc she says she likes both singing and rapping... im gna fast forward to the cosmic girls audience engagement which was.. life changing tbh.. they’re all so pretty and cute irl, but bona couldn’t make it for some reason :( yeonjung sang miracle + secret, dawon did eunseo’s “hing~”, and meiqi did luda’s “mollah-ah”. they were also asked who they wanted to switch bodies with and from what i can remember, dayoung wanted to switch bodies with dawon (bc in her words, dawon is “hot, tall, and sexy” HJFSHLJ), and luda wanted to switch bodies with seola (bc she’s really pretty.. and i agree!! all of them are!!!) cheng xiao is my bias but unfortunately she didn’t say much..... also every idol whose never been to la wants in n out but i don’t blame them, it’s good!! i didn’t have that great of a view either bc the people in front of me were already tall + they were against the barrier which adds another inch or so to their height.. but overall it was a cute n fun audience engagement!! we went home afterwards bc there was nothing else left to do..

saturday convention: we went early bc my friend had sf9′s audience engagement so while we waited for her to finish that, me n the rest of the party just went around the convention hall and got free stuff :’)) when she came back, we went to juncurryahn’s meet and greet. he’s rly nice and talented, but i don’t watch his videos so i didn’t know what was going on majority of the time... afterwards we were going to get food and i was going to line up for seventeen’s audience engagement, but on the way out i saw people already lining up outside? when i asked what was going on, a guard told me to wait in the indoor waiting area but when i went there, vixx’s audience engagement hadn’t gone in yet. i asked the woman scanning bracelets but she told me to go outside. when i told her the situation, she then said i could stay inside. thirty minutes later, more people came in and started complaining so she told us all to.. go back outside lmfao... when i headed back outside the guard said the waiting area was full, so i’d just have to sit around until they started letting people line up again... i did meet a few more carats in line tho so i guess? it’s fine.. i also got a mingyu fan from one of his fansites, like u! it was super hectic inside bc a lot of people were crowding me and i was getting anxious, but the carats i met in line were nice enough to check up on me every few minutes to make sure i was okay... and seeing seventeen..... made my heart stop.... i couldn’t get a good view bc 1) im short and 2) people brought posters and constantly held them up whenever their biases talked.. it was a good experience but the only thing that bothered me was people screaming whenever a member tried to talk... i’d hate to be biased but seeing dino in the same room as me was the most memorable.. like he actually glows irl and he’s so handsome and pictures don’t do him justice!!!!!!! also junhui? ethereal. he can’t exist like.. he’s too handsome. they then played a dice game where each number means they have to do a certain thing.. dino got freestyle dance (how fitting...), seungkwan and wonwoo got fav pop song (when we were young + see you again, respectively), jeonghan and joshua both got aegyo, dk got random dance (and he threw the dice inflatable into the crowd and.. mightve hit someone ? idk i only heard him apologizing!!), and mingyu got sexy dance (hgfjdkl it was funny bc he started off fine but got rlly awkward n shy). everyone and their mothers are hip hop team stans btw... after that i left to go find my friends at the mwave stage, where they were doing signed album giveaways. oh my girl was having a fansign at star square in thirty minutes and i happened to be near the barrier where they walked by... in the midst of waiting for oh my girl to come out, my friend’s number was called for an album and he got the night version of astro’s dream pt 01 signed by all members!! literally 3 minutes later oh my girl came out and??????? they’re so pretty i was FLOORED.. i could only get a good look at jiho’s face before a guard stepped in front of me tho.. but i did see all the other member’s side profiles and? i love girls. wow. once that was over, we went to go get food and line up for the concert when the friend who won the album said he didn’t listen to astro.. and he gave it to me....... i started crying

saturday concert: HJFKDSLHJFK IT WAS WILD TBH!! the pre show was really good w/ juncurryahn playing crush’s beautiful on the violin and dancing to not today.. then it was krnfx and he beatboxed a few songs.. also lydia paek joined him for bs&t which was cool!! the first mc’s for the night were scoups, joshua, and vernon and i kind of.. lost my shit HJKDSLHJFK.... i don’t rmr the exact order but i do know that sf9 was the first act and they performed fanfare, jungle game, and easy love. also when they did the whole robot acrobatics thing in jungle game? my face was like :O the whole time!!!! chani looked like a cute lil pumpkin and zuho... is spicy... after that was cosmic girls and I LOVE!!!! THOSE SPACE ANGELS!!!! SOO MUCH!!!!! they performed happy, i wish, and secret (though i really wanted them to perform miracle...) i’m not a big fan of girl’s day but they’re sooo beautiful and they performed i’ll be yours, something. and ring my bell.. i knew nothing about suju d&e but they did 3 songs! the only song i can recall the name of is oppa oppa, which is really catchy... vixx’s act was really good!! they performed shangri-la, black out, and fantasy, but i was thinking about haknyeon and ravi’s lil head twirl part the whole time ghjdfkl.... vixx had a thing called ‘pinata time’ and got photo session, and they made cute poses around the stage so fans could take pictures of them. seventeen was the last act and ................ it was life changing, truly... they performed don’t wanna cry and I STARTED CRYING BC I LOVE THOSE BOYS SO MUCH AND WORDS CAN’T DESCRIBE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME AND HOW MUCH THEY’VE DONE FOR ME.... they had a pinata time and got everyone in the venue to dance to mansae which made me tear up again... they shot signed tshirts into the crowd in reserved seating!! mingyu + jun + woozi had to share a gun and after they shot one shirt, mingyu was trying to put the other shirt in and almost broke the gun HJFKLHJSDK... jun was interacting w/ the crowd all while woozi n mingyu were trying to figure it out.. like he was just shrugging and being his cute bubbly self.. eventually a staffer had to come up and help them lmao.. they also performed boom boom and aju nice which put me in the happiest mood!! i wanted them to perform pretty u which is like.. my fav song.. but i would have started UGLY CRYING so i’m glad they didn’t... somewhere in between cosmic girls invented the song i need u and sf9 covered sorry sorry... both groups danced together for the last chorus or so for sorry sorry..... also all of svt’s units performed a song! performance team did swimming fool, vocal did habit, and hip hop did check in. but saturday’s concert was amazing and seventeen.. really did change my life..... i also hope hoshi is feeling better !!!

sunday convention: got lost on the freeway and we all started freaking out bc we thought we’d miss wanna one at the innisfree booth. fortunately we made it in time, but the booth was already packed and there were people pushing and shoving. the security was really rude and told people near the back “if you cant see anything you’re wasting your time, what are you doing with your lives??” though i get he was doing his jobs.. there’s better ways to just tell us to back up lmao... i also i stood next to a baejin fansite (cheese bae) and they gave me a banner! my friend and i got claustrophobic and left, but i’m glad i did bc the people in front of me were a good 7 inches taller than me and when wanna one showed, the pushing got so bad that kcon threatened to end the session. the rest of the party stayed and said that they were only there for 5 minutes and that they looked visibly upset (understandable bc of the whole airport incident. i don’t blame them if they hate la lmao). they did get a blurry video of baejin and daniel tho so.. they airdropped that to me. we did pretty much everything the convention hall had to offer and no workshops/panels really interested us so we just hung around the toyota booth for astro... there i got a sanha fan from a fansite, but their name isn’t on the fan so i can’t find them :(... kard was said to make an appearance at the state farm booth right next to the toyota one, so it got crowded and my friend and i left. we just sat in the entrance hall near an outlet until astro came out, and we stood near the elevator so we could see them walk out... sanha is unbelievably tall. like.... what’s he so tall for. why. also while waiting i got a taeyong banner from leetaeyongbar! we then decided to go back inside to hopefully see wanna one at star square, so we went to the area where we stood for oh my girl. luckily not a lot of people cared to stand in the back so we got right up by the barrier. i also talked to a wannable and she was rlly sweet!! i mentioned getting anxious abt crowds of people against me and she also made sure i was okay, which is nice.. also a fansite stood behind me and i told her that if i was in the way, she could just let me know.. i dont know which fansite she is but she was nice n was thankful!!! wanna one came out and i only got a good look at guanlin (who is tall, but not sanha tall) before staff stood in front of me.. after they walked by a bunch of people left so i got closer and waited for them to come out... i’m glad i stayed bc i actually saw them walk out... and jisung!!!!!!!! waved!!!!!! in our direction!!!!!!!!!!!! my heart almost burst out of my chest bc he’s so handsome irl and he’s so cute and he looked really happy... after that we left to line up for the concert

sunday concert: sunday’s crowd was a lot bigger than saturday’s, and i’m pretty sure everyone there was a got7 stan... while in line i saw papa tuan (mainly bc he was dressed as their lightstick, which was cute)!!! inside the venue, the girl sitting next to me as also an aroha so we talked abt astro while we waited for the concert to start!! the preshow was a band called iamnot (correct me if i’m wrong, i couldn’t read their logo ghjfdk) and they were really good.. i liked their act a lot!!! the night’s hosts were mark and jackson, and they did a good job hyping up the crowd (tho everyone in there was a got7 stan so.. who wouldn’t be hyped lol). when they were calling up all the artists, heize brought the olaf backpack on with her and my heart!!!!! exploded w love for my mother!!!!!! once again i don’t remember the exact order, but i do know that the first act was kard, who performed don’t recall, hola hola, and oh nana. we also sang happy birthday to somin who teared up :’)). also j.seph is super cute n shy........ heize performed don’t know you. after a small ment, a sign asked us to turn on our phone flashlights... the music for star started and heize started to cry bc of all of the lights hjgfdklhg :( she only performed two songs... oh my girl performed coloring book and closer, and yooa is sosososo pretty!!! arin is super cute too!!! also binnie doesn’t have bangs anymore and my heart almost stopped!!! my robong DIED during coloring book bc me, being the fool i am, reused batteries from my carat bong... the aroha next to me gave me her spare batteries which was so nice of her... but then her robong died during closer so i gave back the batteries bc i knew astro as her ult, n she needed those batteries more than me LOL.. when wanna one performed, the girl saw me with my banner and she asked to record for me and i’m so grateful!!! they performed energetic and burn it up, and i think me and my friend got on the screen for like 2 seconds HJKDLSHJGKL... astro did a collab with kim taewoo and they did so well!! the dance was super energetic but their voices still sounded so good!!! kim taewoo then performed and his voice was really nice.. i can’t recall the song names but i believe his last song was love rain? astro performed should’ve held on, breathless (with a transition into polaris), and baby!! sanha was soo cute during the ment :(( they also had a pinata time and made tshirts to throw to those in the pit. they also had tshirt guns and shot those to the reserved seats... also i recorded the performance for the aroha next to me in exchange for the w1 videos... nct’s stage was.. so hype.... they performed firetruck, limitless, and cherry bomb!! some of the mics weren’t working during the ment so mark leaned over to let taeil use his in-ear mic and everyone in the venue went wild... also sicheng’s self intro was “my name is winwin!!! today.. we winwin!!!!!!!!” HJFKSLHJSF HE’S SO CUTE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I’LL FOREVER BE SICHENGSGIRL NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I CHANGE MY URL.... once again, the aroha next to me recorded nct for me and i later recorded got7 for her.. jj project performed, and they did never ever, hard carry, and?? correct me if i’m wrong but confession song?? idk.. they had a pinata time as well and a lucky fan got proposed to by three members, who i think were bambam, jaebum, and jackson. somewhere in between, wanna one came out again in navy colored school uniforms and perfomed never and nayana.. and i teared up during the latter... after the concert was over, me n the aroha airdropped each other the videos... i never got her name but she was super sweet and im glad i got to sit next to someone who didn’t consider my screaming obnoxious (she apologized for screaming during astro and got7 but.. we get each other LOL)

overall i’m so happy that i saw 6/6 of the groups i stan at my very first kcon!!! it’s rlly a memory i want to keep forever.. but i probably won’t go again in a long time (unless ofc.... wanna one or seventeen decide to come again :’))) )

#nana.txt #kcon.log #THERE ITS DONE ITS ALL COMPILED INTO ONE INCOHERENT POST #the post concert withdrawals are hitting me hard and my voice has been obliterated but it was an amazing weekend!!!!

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