#Why can't i repress it

[greencarnation]

eleven is fascinating to me because he came right off the back of tens horrible traumatic breakdown after he lost everything and he immediately tried to establish himself as the opposite of that. he is funny and goofy and almost childlike, and he bulldozes on in his adventures with amy like nothing happened at all. but then something happens and his masks slips and it's like oh! the core of this man is still anger. he is so so angry all of the time and this façade is the only thing stopping him from being consumed by it. he isn't over any of it and he hasn't moved on. he is wearing a fez and laughing but under that all that exists is age old anger and grief and it is going to consume him

#i do think that this pit of anger was eventually covered and soothed by the ponds #but he didn't adress it and he couldn't even look at it until he was twelve #when he stopped pushing back and repressing everything and finally allowed himself to exist as he was #but ok listen #its all layed out in the first 3 episodes of season 5 and in the way amy sees him #episode 1. here is the new doctor he is energetic and reeling and fun #episode 2. the space whale comparison. here is the new doctor. he is unthinkably ancient and almost godlike but he is so so kind #and patient and good. he is ancient and lonely but he can't stand to see children cry. so the doctor helps people #episode 3. daleks. the doctor is a soldier. these are his age old enemies. he wants them dead and he will stop at nothing #all logic and reason vanish. he is hitting the dalek with a pipe and yelling his head off while amy watches in horror #like obviously we know why but amy didnt #this is not a sane or rational man he is unstable and angry #and in that episode he was stripped back to what he largely is: hate #you would make a good dalek ect ect ect #anyway 3 episodes with 3 very distinct and equally definitely traits layed out like: here you go #i don't like elevens era much but those first 3 episodes were great #doctor who #eleven #amy #eleventh doctor #matt smith #dr who #dw #i mean idk this is what river literally had to spell out for him #eleven was careening completely out of control #how long til doctor means warrior indeed? #mine

[originalcontent]

I can't find art of my ship anywhere so I GUESS that means I have to make it myself, here are some doodles.

#ugh i can't believe i have to make my own shipping fanart #tfw you're complaining to your sister that you can't find any content of them but then you remember you have the power #man i do not know how to draw kissing or hugging or any of that romantic stuff #mostly i just know how to put paragraphs of dialogue in between two talking heads #but this seems to be something of a rarepair even though they are obsessed with each other so i suppose i gotta try #karlach #lae'zel #shipping #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #karlzel #i think that's the ship name but i have found so little of them that i'm genuinely not sure #laelach #(just in case) #but come on they're perfect! they're sunshine/raincloud! dog energy/cat energy! tall/small! hot and cold! canonically into each other! #character who represses sadness and character who doesn't understand happiness! pretty girls who can both bench press each other! #considering what their banter looks like i don't get how this isn't a more popular pairing. who else does karlach wistfully sigh over? #my sister tells me that lae'zel is not well-liked by the wider fandom and that that may be why (so sorry if other people have bad taste) #or maybe people don't often put the barbarian and the fighter together in the same party at the same time #anyway now that you're 100% convinced feel free to draw them making out so that i don't have to k thx <3

[add1ctedt0you]

Novel quotes: wei wuxian having feelings/thoughts about jiang cheng

Under the cut because it's long

However, Jiang Cheng was gone. Holding steamed buns, flatbreads, and fruits in his hands, Wei WuXian felt his heart skip a beat. He forced himself to calm down. Even after he searched through the neighboring streets, he still didn’t see Jiang Cheng. He finally began to panic. Grabbing a cobbler on the side, he asked, “Mister, there was a young master about the same age as me sitting here. Did you see where he went?” The cobbler licked the thick end of a thread, “The one that was with you?” Wei WuXian, “Yeah!”

The cobbler, “I was in the middle of doing something so I didn’t really see. But he kept on spacing out, staring at the people on the street. And then when I looked up at where he was again, he suddenly disappeared. Maybe he left.”

Wei WuXian murmured, “... He left... He left...”

He probably left for Lotus Pier to steal the bodies!

As though he had gone mad, Wei WuXian sprinted immediately toward the direction that they had come from.

[...]

He gave himself a harsh scolding in silence—he was stupid, useless, ridiculous, it was bizarre, unimaginable. Yet, he was alone, without a sword or any tools, and on the other side of the wall there were thousands of Wen Sect’s cultivators, perhaps Wen ZhuLie as well.

He wasn’t scared of death. He was only scared that after he died, he wouldn’t be able to save Jiang Cheng and betray the trust that Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu left him. In such circumstances, the only one he could place his hope on was a person of the Wen Sect whom he had met only three times in total!

[...]

Wei WuXian’s gaze turned from Wen Ning toward Jiang Cheng, whose body was covered in blood and eyes were tightly shut. His fingers couldn’t help but clenched into fists.

Chapter 59 Poisons—Part Four

Jiang Cheng’s expression was rather strange. It was calm, almost too calm. He stared at the ceiling, as though he wasn’t at all interested in the situation that he was in, as though he didn’t care about where he was either. Wei WuXian didn’t expect him to react in such a way. Sadness, happiness, anger, shock—he had none of these. His heart skipped a beat, “Jiang Cheng, can you see me? Can you hear me? Do you know who I am?” Jiang Cheng glanced at him. He didn’t say anything. Wei WuXian asked him a few more questions. Arm supporting himself, he finally sat upright. He looked down at the mark of the discipline whip on his chest before laughing bitterly. If the discipline whip struck, it’d be impossible to wipe away the mark of shame. Wei WuXian comforted him despite this, “Stop looking at it. There has to be a way to get it off.” Jiang Cheng slapped him. His strike was so weak, so powerless that Wei WuXian didn’t even flinch, “Hit me. As long as you’ll feel better.”

[...]

If Wei WuXian were the one injured or if somebody else had saved them, he’d immediately say farewell and leave at once, full of determination. However, right now, Jiang Cheng was the one who had been injured. Not only was he injured, he had lost his core as well. He wasn’t in his right mind. No matter what, Wei WuXian couldn’t find any determination.

Chapter 60 Poisons—Part five

Out of the blue, Jiang Cheng spoke up, “Not to do what?” Wei WuXian paused in surprise, turning to him along with Lan WangJi. Jiang Cheng covered his wound with one hand, his voice chilly, “Wei WuXian, you’re such a great, selfless person. You did the best things possible, and you swallowed all the suffering and didn’t let anyone know. What a touching story. I should kneel down and cry in gratitude, shouldn’t I?” Hearing the mocking tone that lacked any courtesy, Lan WangJi’s face grew cold. Jin Ling saw the displeased expression and immediately stood in front of Jiang Cheng, scared that Lan WangJi would kill him with one strike, “Uncle!” Wei WuXian’s expression worsened as well. He never expected Jiang Cheng to make up with him after he found out the truth, but he didn’t think his tone would be as unkind as ever, either. With a moment of silence, he replied, voice muffled, “I never asked you to thank me.”

[...]

In the beginning, it was precisely because he didn’t want to see such a Jiang Cheng that he decided not to tell him.

He remembered every single thing he promised Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu—to help and take care of Jiang Cheng. If someone as unhealthily competitive as him found out about this, he’d be dispirited his whole life, too tortured to face himself. There’d always be something he could never overcome, reminding him that he could only reach where he was because of another’s sacrifice. It wasn’t at all his cultivation and his achievement. No matter if he won or lost, he’d long since lost the right to compete.

Afterwards, it was because Jin ZiXuan and Jiang YanLi died for him that he had no face to let others know. To tell Jiang Cheng after what happened then would be like shirking responsibility, hurrying to demonstrate that he’d contributed as well. It’d be like telling Jiang Cheng, don’t hate me, look I’ve contributed to the YunmengJiang Sect too.

Chapter 102- Hatred - Part Five

At this point, somebody on the side suddenly called, “Wei WuXian!”

Wei WuXian answered immediately, “What?”

Only after he answered did he realize that the one who called him was Jiang Cheng. Wei WuXian felt somewhat surprised. Jiang Cheng didn’t respond directly. Instead, he took something out from his sleeve and tossed. Wei WuXian caught it by instinct and looked, only to find a black, gleaming flute along with a crimson tassel.

It was the ghoul flute, Chen Qing!

As he felt the flute that he was more than familiar with, Wei WuXian didn’t even have the spare time to feel surprised.

Chapter 108: Concealment - Part Two

After a pause, he asked again, “How have Sect Leader Jiang and Jin Ling been?”

Lan JingYi pouted, “They seem pretty fine. Sect Leader Jiang is the same as before, always lashing out at people with his whip. Young Mistress’s temper has been getting better. In the past he could talk back thrice to his uncle after he scolds him once. Now he can do ten times.”

[...]

Hearing Lan JingYi say so, Wei WuXian relaxed slightly. In truth, he knew that these weren’t what he really wanted to ask. But as it sounded like Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling had been doing quite well, there was nothing left to say.

Chapter 116: Extra—Banquet - Part Three

#There are like other quotes but I got tired lol #Anyway. What really gets me is :'don't hate me jiang cheng' #what wwx really wanted was forgiveness! Something he didn't think he deserves! Arghhhh #Where is the post: mdzs is about wwx not being normal about his shidi. And lwj is there too #because imo is what really happens lol #wwx's thoughts about jc are tbh very mean. And imo it's because he's repressing resentment/fear of rejection #I think this because wwx starts to have uncharitable interpretations of jc only in his second life #wwx: I don't want a thank you. #also wwx: why is jc being so mean to me :-( #The fact that in the present wwx feels always surprised when jc speaks to him. It's like... Arghh #Chengxian #Kinda. Neither platonic neither romantic. But a secret third thing #mar!reading mdzs #I still can't decide what wwx wanted to ask in the end. (last quote). What do you want wwx? Say it to us!

[beanghostprincess]

hey. hey.

what if the crew remembered everything the baron did but luffy forgot everything (#repressionmoment) how dyou think the crew would feel about that

Honestly, I thought the angstiest concept for this movie would be the one that already happens. You know. With the crew being the ones who forget everything and Luffy having to deal with the burden of remembering all that trauma on his own. However, I've thought about this and-- This is equally as angsty. Think about it:

Everyone is fine. Everything is okay. So Luffy just smiles and considers the adventure done and he does not want to talk about what happened. Like. At all. The others are-- Saying they're fucked up after what happened would be an understatement. They do some apologizing between them for things they did and they go through a rough time because that's not something you forget easily. But especially they're all worried about Luffy. He's badly wounded (because what the fuck he just turned into a human colander with the number of arrows that went through him) and he acts like nothing has happened. They keep asking and he keeps saying it's fine. That it's alright if they're alright. Of course, with how many times he says so, they have to end up trusting him. But I personally think Nami would be the most worried of all and the one who would want to talk things out, and even go to Zoro to see if he can get something from him. The first days I think Luffy has nightmares about it. Like- Very fucked up nightmares and he keeps hiding the fact that for some reason he keeps throwing up whenever he sees something that kind of, sort of reminds him of that experience. They're all extremely concerned. Like- He's not fine. But he refuses to talk and keeps on saying it's okay. And, well, I think he'd end up forgetting. Like pretty soon after the experience he just! Poof! Forgets it. Not really, because he does still have an uneasy feeling with him, but the nightmares are wayyy more abstract now and he doesn't really know where they're coming from? He knows something happened, of course, he doesn't have total amnesia but he can't remember anything about it. It's just like a blurry picture, you know? So he stops thinking about it and starts living normally. But Nami? Nami wants to talk things out because she's sure that forgetting what happened can't be okay. She even asks Chopper and he says that this is common when going through traumatic experiences, but she doesn't- She doesn't want Luffy to forget without talking about it because,, What if someday, for some reason, he ends up remembering? What if it hits him like a ton of bricks? What happened while they were trapped that made Luffy like this? He often leaves the past in the past, but forgetting it is something else. She has to let go of it, at the end of the day, and rely on other people to talk about this. Luffy would be so concerned for them too, because he doesn't remember but he feels like he should, and he knows that whatever is making his crew all sad is probably his fault somehow.

Zoro keeps an eye on him, more than usual. Nami and Usopp are extremely close. Like- Codependency levels because they can't stop feeling guilty for what happened and if they lose sight of each other they're probably gonna go insane. Robin and Chopper are more or less like that too, but Robin handles it better. Keeps it to herself. Chopper goes to her for comfort more often, though. Sanji wants to deal with it on his own but he can't, because guilt keeps making him be with Zoro more even if he hates the idea of it. And Zoro has to be honest too and admit that they both fucked up and he doesn't like the idea of Sanji being on his own after this. Also, I think they're all very sensitive to darkness and sharp objects now, not to mention that Nami loves her beautiful tangerines but the thought of a flower that is not one of hers growing there makes her anxious. They're very careful not to let Luffy sleep alone because, even if he doesn't remember, nightmares are a thing. And he doesn't tell anybody but they know anyway.

I think he'd feel so guilty for not remembering because he knows he should and he knows there's something wrong, but he can't quite put images to it. I think he'd go to Nami one day while she's alone and say something like: "I'm sorry" / "Mm? For what, Luffy?" / "For not remembering" / "I told you. It's okay. It's not your fault. These things happe-" / "They shouldn't happen! Not to me! I am your captain and I'm the one who should protect you! And instead, I made you go to that island and- And- And I can't remember anything-" / "Luffy. Listen to me. You got us into that mess, yes, but you got us out too. You always do. We're fine" / "You're not... Liar" / "Yeah, no. We're not. But we will be. Eventually. So don't worry about things you can't change" / "Do you- Do you wanna talk bout it? You always seem like you want to tell me something and you can't" / "Not- Not now, okay? Maybe some other day" / "Can I stay with you?" / "Idiot. Yes. Of course".

And I guess they would move on past that but the trauma is still there. It's not something they can easily forget. Now just think about how Water 7 goes next! Luffy's going to suffer even more. You're welcome.

#he's just like me fr bc i can't remember traumatic things that happened to me either and i just know about them thanks to other people lmao #repression moment #anyway i think nami and luffy's bond is precious and they mean the world to me #one piece #monkey d. luffy #cat burglar nami #strawhat pirates #baron omatsuri and the secret island #i think i should put tw for something bc this is creepy and sad af but idk what so just be careful reading? #tw sensitive content #??? maybe ?? #tw nightmares #WHY'S ONE PIECE SO DAMN DARK SOMETIMES #i love it i am not complaining

[sparky-is-spiders]

I can accept basically any trans/nb reading of Jon however my personal favorites are transmasc Jon who transitioned physically and socially as early as possible and just never mentioned it to anyone cause it wasn't any of their business OR Jon being the most repressed transfem/nb in existence. They'll be talking about gender or whatever and Jon will be like "it's normal to feel totally disconnected from your gender all the time and also vaguely want boobs. That's just a guy thing I think." only for whoever they're all talking to to go "wtf no?? It's not????"

#please don't make this about j//mart or martin #only jon reading I can't accept is cis #sorry I just don't see it #idk might just be projection #but I think jon has really complicated feelings about gender that they don't know how to articulate #and they're also super private so they just. never mention it. #actually love literally any depiction of jon where they had a super wild personal life (band/mechs!jon punk!jon w/e) that they don't think #is important to mention ever. but occasionally they'll drop some random detail completely casually and then not understand why everyone els #is confused #like. I think jon's childhood probably wasn't super wild beyond the mr spider stuff #and once they started working at the institute I think they tried to lean really really hard into the boring respectable academic aesthetic #but I think uni jon was either the most dull shut-in workaholic OR doing really weird shit between classes with no inbetween #look I have a lot of jonthoughts ok? #anyway I think it's plausible that uni!jon was briefly non-repressed #actually adding to that: jon likes to break in to places to Investigate Them is practically canon to me. #ok anyway sorting tags. yeah I'm maintagging my jon mental illness #jon sims #jonathan sims #tma #the magnus archives #trans jon sims #trans jonathan sims #edit to add my new jon gender tag #jonder

[bitchthefuck1]

The fact that Jesper is like. a mid-tier fabrikator at best is actually so important to me.

So much of this story centers around the fact that these people are not chosen ones, that they have no sacred destiny or otherworldly power, but that they're children doing the best they can in a system that doesn't care about them, and all they have are their wits and each other. Jesper isn't an especially gifted grisha, and he has no formal training, but he takes that teaspoon of unremarkable talent and applies it to a skill he spent years perfecting to make something even greater and wholly his own. He isn't special because he was born that way, he's special because he made himself special.

#i could literally talk about this forever #this also applies to every other character btw #but jesper is a great example #i love him so much #this is lowkey why i don't love all the meta ppl write about him going to the little palace to learn #also i think its super important to note that wylan doesn't encourage him to embrace his abilities to 'get more powerful' or whatever #he specifically wants him to do it because repressing that side of him is actively hurting him and he can't spend his life ignoring part of #who he is #wesper #jesper fahey #six of crows #crooked kingdom #soc #six of crows meta #also like. the fact that he learned this not from an institution or a grisha specialist but from his mother. it's just v important to me #rip aditi hilli you were a real one

[florallylly]

sorry queen but a cheater is a cheater is a cheater and that's not a label i easily let go of

#obviously extenuating circumstances #but i don't mean i was traumatized and repressing my feelings blah blah staying with the safe choice #so u were an asshole. #so u obviously don't care enough about the person ur dating to stop for a second and actually think about the consequences of ur actions #and the fact that she didn't even acknowledge what she did #and just happily ended up with her man and her ex APOLOGIZED? #pick up ur head king ur crown is falling #and yes this is a major reason why i refuse to even support ronance #like it's my personal opinion and i'm not stopping people from shipping who they like #but i also want to get my thoughts out there scream into the void or whatever #as a lesbian from a small town i'll tell u i would certainly not date a girl who cheated on my best friend #so don't pull that argument on me #it just feels evil to me #like can't steve have ONE thing like ONE person in his corner #why make him constantly apologize and have to give way when he's done like. nothing wrong #first of all he was reclaiming queer duh #and he was right to be pissed #i get that it's two attractive girls and one is canonically gay #but ur reaching

[achairwithapandaonit]

Joyce and Karen should kiss cause hehe milfs dating vs NO they should NOT cause it'd make jonathan/nancy and will/mike weird if their mums were dating vs okay but wouldn't it be funny if all the wheelers had a TYPE and that type was a byers

#stranger things #the resolution to this is obviously karen/joyce is one-sided #but also can u imagine a fic where mike is like will i think our mums are having an affair and we NEED to stop that from happening #not because i'm gay for u or anything but haha what if #jancy and byler break joyce/karen up for their own sakes but they weren't even having an affair #mike repression wheeler going through all the hoops to explain why their mums can't date without saying i want to date will byers

[tinylilvalery]

Shiv weaponises her vulnerability to victimise herself to force Tom into forgiving her [1][2] + doesn't respect his boundaries [3][4] when he needs space from her.

1. In 1.10 Shiv comes clean to Tom on their wedding night about her cheating on him, AFTER their marriage (despite Tom asking her beforehand and giving her a chance then). Shiv weaponises her vulnerability into forcing Tom to forgive her, bringing up how when they met she was a "mess" and in a "very bad place" and how she needs him and also tries to gaslight Tom about their relationship never being monogamous. He forgives her because he's in a difficult position (divorce on the same night as marriage?? She didn't give him an out to call off the wedding beforehand and waited until after he was secured), he loves her, and he's forced to sympathise and accept things.

2. Shiv only apologises to Tom when she sees how cold he's being with her in 4.8. There's real danger he's actually done with the relationship. The kicked dog isn't returning to heel. She apologises. He doesn't accept it (you don't have to accept an apology, especially if you're still upset and someone is tryna force an apology on you because THEY feel bad and want to alleviate their guilt and return things to something that THEY'RE comfortable with). She uses the fact that her dad just died, which doesn't change the fact that everything he said in the prior fight was true. Their relationship had been shit for ages prior to Logan's death, therefore Logan's death doesn't excuse the rest of the relationship, and he's still immovable. Damn, he's always comforted and folded to her before, he's not doing that right now. Shit. Bring out the heavy. I'm pregnant and it's yours! The ultimate card to reel him back. He wanted a baby right? But he doesn't even believe her now... Why should he care anyway? How much has she ever cared about him?

3. In 4.7 Tom walks away from Shiv and goes to the balcony, needing space, telling Shiv he's tired. She doesn't respect this need for space and corners him on the balcony, literally not allowing him any reprieve, and actively mocks him for being exhausted, pressing and pressing him until he snaps, despite the fact he didn't even want to fight in the first place. He needed space and wasn't allowed to have it.

4. Tom is exhausted and stressed out of his mind in 4.8 with his job (something that means the world to him and yet also something Shiv has never taken seriously - and how could she understand the importance it holds for him when she's a nepo baby). He asks Shiv to talk about this another time and that he can't do this right now. She doesn't respect his request and presses her needs above his and takes him aside again and isolates him, and then acts surprised and offended when he doesn't respond how she wants him to. Ironically if she had actually respected him asking to talk another time when he wasn't so stressed, she might have gotten the results she wanted: Tom back in her pocket.

#tom wambsgans #just a little character analysis #i realised tonight that she's rarely vulnerable with Tom - which is something he's always wanted #and so she weaponises her vulnerability and uses it on Tom when she wants something that her assertiveness can't get her #ie forcing him to forgive her #it's interesting too that she tries to ask for some slack cos her dad just died #everything in her mind is revolving around Logan now. everything wrong in her life is because her dad died. #totally consumed with grief in a way she doesnt even realise because it's so repressed #without meaning to her thoughts are all circling him #so she blames the relationship degradation on her grief for Logan's death #despite the reality of why it ended again #which was Tom realising the relationship was and always will be unequal and shitty #and she never really gave a fuck about how he felt esp in regards to prison but also the rest of the relationship #mind you i don't think at all she's conscious of the fact that she does this #but her vulnerability undeniably has ulterior motive and because she's so repressed she's not aware of her subconscious drives #she's never vulnerable for the sake of it. of being trusting. of being open with your partner - which tom values a lot #hence his relationship with Greg #she's oretty much only vulnerable with him to gain something from him #which is ultimately to keep him secured and not let him leave her #succession HBO #fucking phenomenally written character #how the fuck did they make her.

[gideonisms]

I also think that maybe my idea of repression is a bit different than what sometimes gets presented as repressed because it's like. Repression refers to the process of holding back or ignoring things but what those things are varies wildly from person to person. For some people, if you got rid of the repression, there's a fun-loving, sensory stimulation seeking person underneath. But I think that a lot of times, what we repress has to do with what the people around us expect. sometimes what's under there is a really deep frustration, or a list of ways that the world is overwhelming and exhausting, or the realization that you've been seeking out experiences not because you want them but because they were a compromise between what you actually wanted and what you thought you could get. Anyway this post is basically the lead-up to saying that if harrow was less repressed, she probably wouldn't have metaphorically fucked ianthe in the first place. the fact that harrow isn't in touch with her feelings in htn is a big part of the reason the bone arm sex even happened

#harrow is repressing her lesbian feelings but not for every girl. not for the body #not really even for gideon post remembering her #because she is such a good metaphor for the whole repressed religious deal it's easy to read her as that with no additional complications #but i think there's a bit more going on there #this is a place where muir's handling of psychosis is i think relevant #it's interesting to read her whole deal through the lense we get in htn which is that harrow has reason to doubt her perception of the world #i don't necessarily think it's something you can put in a box like this affects physical perceptions but wouldn't make her doubt emotions #i think it does bleed into the way she thinks about her own emotions as well #harrow fears she can't be trusted to understand the world in a way that makes sense to those around her or helps her navigate situations #so she defaults to a set of intense rules #which is i think why a lot of autistic people relate to her so strongly bc it's like yeah that is a way you sometimes deal with #being told your perceptions of the world are incorrect #harrow just does hear things/possibly see things that aren't there which makes the whole thing even more complicated #idk. it is not as simple as repressed catholic girl. repressing her gay feelings isn't her main problem

[welcometoteyvat]

ykw ga-mings stories still make me emo i really need one of those good old character study comics rn

#i also need chapter 2 of the one fic with him and xiao together asap. something something loneliness idk #i couldnt tell you why i just think their dynamic would be neat and must be explored #like . i dont think x.iao would understand the complicated relationship that is parents and their children #or perhaps why it weighs on gaming even now #i dont think x has deep deep regrets about what hes done in the past #like moving past the killing and dead comrades and the baggage that comes with that #i dont think x has a lot of existing relationships that could be repaired by emotion and communication #like the awkwardness and occasional flood of emotions that comes with being estranged from what used to be possibly your entire world #but hed 100% try to understand in his own way #or if not be one of those mentors who . keeps you busy to take your mind off things #and idk. repression. i can't imagine him any other way besides how that fic (solitude was your oldest friend by sicker) had him act #like strict; rather demanding; but also sosososo caring. #oops posted too early check back on this post in 30 min

[carlyraejepsans]

me smiling sitting with my snacks and drinks about to watch sans blow up (emotionally…or hell physically, that guy is a disaster waiting to happen)

oh he's at the end of his fucking rope with this topic.

#like he is soo convinced his maladaptive coping strategy is soso right like bro let me just ignore it if I can't change it it doesn't matter #bro i promise it makes sense why are you being so irrational about this just let me repress bro #answered asks #(...might bring in some anomaly trauma actually) #utdrp

[willandmichael]

the more i realize i relate to mike the more insane i get about him as a character

#byler #just thinking about the shit i was going through when i was his age and the way i acted 💀 #a while ago my friend said to me i was acting really weird during that time and oh boy weird is putting it lightly lmao #i guess i just repressed those years so bad i can't really think back on it unless i really sit down to reflect #honestly my brain seems to not want to go back there at all #so i'm sitting here analyzing and thinking about mike as a character and going Jesus Christ that's me in 2015-16 fucking hell #i guess that's why i project so much onto him and why i see him only turning out to be a certain way

[riseninsaturn]

one day i’ll write an articulate post about why the gavin brothers are the most emotionally repressed people in ace attorney and maybe ever but in two entirely separate ways but as of right now whenever i think about that very concept i feel like screaming into a bottomless well so that idea is on hold

#saturn.txt #but you guys know the post right #the one about how the most emotionally repressed person is the one who #acts extremely friendly and shows surface level acceptable emotions #but never the true emotions underneath #you know that post right. you know klavier gavin right #klavier gavin who i can only imagine has perfected his emotions to a t #here is what he can get mad at here is what he can't #he can't cry unless it's picture perfect and he's always amicable for the right people #you know how kristoph gavin has the black locks right #how even at the end he won't talk about why he did what he did #THIS is why ic an't write either of these characters in a satisfying way #because they're so fucking complicated when it comes to emotions and and and #screaming at the top of my lungs only one of them will likely have the chance to open up again #but will he do it? would he do it? #how does klavier gavin even begin to untangle his emotions #did hiding them away from the world make them manifest in major outbursts? #does he just dissociate instead? what has happened what happened #rattling him back and forth #i love the other characters in AA but you cannot tell me that anyone is more repressed than the shit these two have going on

[celestial-sapphicss]

why do i cause myself pain by rewatching MSP ep.10 2/4?

#vi.txt #my school president #like no you don't understand what that ep does to me #it's just like ep10 4/4 of bad buddy but likt different kind of pain #because grief/death in media (and in general) is something i just can't watch normally #especially when you experience that grief as a child??????? hell #when gun says 'i didn't even get a chance to say goodbye'?????? i am on the floor crying in foetal position #when he discussed with tinn how he used to hide his pain to be strong for his mother #that got me thinking just hoe much unexpressed & unprocessed grief gun has #because yes grief is love persevering and yes grief also never truly goes away it takes away a piece of you forever #idk how to explain it but like #there's this melancholic limbo that you forever stay in #because you never got the chance to go through the pain & the loss and come out stronger on the other side #because all you did was repress it deep inside for whatever reason and it comes out in little outbursts at instances #and that's also one of the reasos why gun snapped at tinn imo #AAAAAA PAIN