#Will Graham is a slutty piece of shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

warriorqueen1991 · 7 years

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Autumn Heat 🍁

Characters: Negan X Reader

Warnings: fluff and some sexual situations ;)

Notes: This is my entry into @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash Fall Into Negan Writing Challenge my prompts were Raking Leaves and Making S'mores ♡♡♡

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“Baby I’m home!”

Walking into your house you quickly tossed your keys in the bowl by the door as you juggled a large pumpkin and a bag of groceries. The crisp evening air had you wrapped in a black turtleneck that clung to your curves and dark blue jeans. Your leather boots thumping against the hardwood floor as you maneuvered your hip to shut the door.

“Negan?”

Placing the pumpkin down on the table you set to putting the groceries away as the sound of Lucy barking in the backyard gave away your husband’s whereabouts. Smiling to yourself, you placed the bottle of wine you bought on the counter.

You and Negan had been married a little over three years and it still felt like you were newlyweds.

Sure he was loud, obnoxious and foul mouthed but he was the man of your dreams.

You were crazy about him.

Your love only seeming to grow with time.

Shutting the fridge you made your way to the window overlooking the backyard, your brow creasing in frustration as you watched the slutty floozy from next door hit on your man.

“Fucking Amber” you growled.

Negan was decked out in his leather jacket and red scarf you got him last year for Christmas.

It looked like he had been in the process of raking up the leaves when miss “humpsanythingwithapulse” showed up.

Folding your arms you decided to spy on them a little before interrupting her little show.

You weren’t worried about Negan being unfaithful, he had never giving you a reason to be.

Instead you were curious to see how he would handle the situation.

And of course he made a hilarious show of being passive-aggressive while avoiding her advances, his shoulders tensing up when she laid her hand on his arm.

Her long bony fingers gripping his bicep.

Growling you quickly moved to the door, you had had enough of her skanky little claws touching your husband. The damn bitch needed to fuck off before you knocked her teeth down her throat.

Slamming the door behind you your lips quirked up in a smirk as Amber jumped, jerking her hand away as Negan eyed you over his shoulder with a bright smile.

Sliding your hands around his waist you leaned against the arm she had been pawing at. Your fingers toying with the clasp of his belt absently as he moved his arm to wrap around your shoulders.

“Hey baby”

You smiled at his deep purring voice, your eyes drifting to Amber who was shifting her eyes away from you to Negan.

“So uh…would you mind taking a look at it later?”

You cocked an eyebrow at her before glancing up at Negan who smiled “yeah I can check it out for ya, piece of shit seems to be breaking down on ya more often huh? Probably about fucking time to buy a new one”. Ambers eye roll inducing laugh instantly gave you a headache as she once again took a step closer to Negan.

Sliding from his grasp you walked behind him to his left side grasping his hand so you were in between him and Amber.

“What'cha need fixed this time, oh let me guess…your washer again?”

Amber gulped taking a step back “it’s an old washer it’s just becoming a little testy is all”. You smiled “I can see that, so when is my husband going over?”

Negan chuckled “probably after Halloween baby”.

Biting your lip at his knowing smile you looked at Amber “that’s great I’ll probably come over with him so me and you can have some girl time, I mean it’s gotta get lonely over there in that big house with Mark away on business”.

She gave you a nervous laugh “ye…yeah that sounds great” you gave her a bright smile “awesome…well we’ll see ya around Amber, Happy Halloween”.

She quickly slipped through the back gate looking over her shoulder as Negan grasped your chin, leaning down to give you a smouldering kiss.

Pulling away slowly he chuckled “you have nothing to fucking worry about darlin, trust me. I keep my fucking distance from walking cum dumpsters”. You laughed swatting his arm playfully “now that’s not nice Neg…Mark’s the love of her life remember?” he let out a deep rumbling laugh “yeah that’s why she’s got a new toy over there every night?”

You growled “I swear though, if that fucking bitch keeps trying to put the moves on you i’m gonna bash her fucking brains in”.

He bit his lip before running his tongue across it sensually “hmmm I love it when you get all riled up baby, it just…” he gave an exaggerated shiver “gets all my fucking engines revving”.

Pursing your lips you tugged him closer to you “well maybe if you’re a good boy I’ll take ya for a spin”.

He chuckled kissing your lips softly before pulling away.

Looking around the back yard you smiled “you know you don’t have to rake the leaves right?…I kinda like em just strewn about”. Shrugging he started running the rake across the grass “figured I’d help ya out some since I’m on vacation and you’re not”.

You smiled running your hand up his back to rub his shoulder gently “that’s sweet honey but you really don’t need to do this…plus I haven’t seen you all day” you pouted sticking your lip out slightly making him laugh.

“Baby ya saw me this morning”

You sighed “fine, guess Amber’s worth more of your time than I am”.

He growled bending over to pick up one of Lucy’s toys, leaning right over one of his large pile of leaves.

A devious smirk crossed your face before you quickly shoved him head first into the gold and orange pile.

“shit” he growled, rolling over on his back as the leaves scattered around him. Several of them sticking in his hair and flying into the air to dance around him as you giggled down at his flustered appearance.

“Oh you’re fucking hilarious” he drawled sitting up to give you an unimpressed look. You continued to giggle “I know…” but you were quickly cut off as his long arms wrapped around your hips, pulling you on top of him as he fell back onto the pile of leaves with a yelp of surprise.

Bursting into laughter you both held onto to one another as the leaves crunched beneath you. Kissing his dimples you ran your chilled hands down his scruffy cheeks, his gloved hands gripping your hips as his lips moved to yours.

“hmmm love you baby” he rasped leaning up slightly to press his forehead against yours.

Smiling against his lips you kissed him once more “I love you too”

Sitting up beneath you, causing you to straddle his waist Negan tousled his hair sending tiny pieces of dead leaves down around you before he pushed your hips slightly so you both could get up.

Getting to your feet you held out your hand so he could grasp it as you helped him up.

“So did you find all that shit you wanted last night?” he chuckled dusting off his backside.

Cocking an eyebrow at him you crossed your arms “and by shit, I’m assuming you mean our wine and s'mores for tonight?”

He snorted in amusement with a shrug “honey you were riding me within an inch of my life, I had a little more pressing thoughts going through my fucking head”. You smacked his shoulder making him chuckle “oh I was not!”

He laughed “really, is that why I had to fix the damn headboard this morning?”

You gaped at him as he gave you a wink “should’ve made you fix the poor thing since you’re the one who broke the fucker”.

You scoffed “technically you broke it when you decided to wear that suit I love”.

He threw his hands up “it’s a nice fucking suit”

You narrowed your eyes “you knew what you were doing!”

He gave you a weird look before licking his lips in thought. His eyes wandering down your body as he gave you a heated stare “hmmm toche”.

Biting your lip you grasped his hand “alright handsome let’s go inside”. He chuckled following you to the house, his eyes darting to Lucy who sat by her dog house “don’t worry darlin we haven’t forgotten about you”.

You smiled as she began wagging her tail, twirling around in excitement with a happy bark.

Unhooking her tie out leash Negan smiled as she sprinted around his legs barking loudly before tearing off in through the doggy door.

You giggled “well she’s happy”

****

After dinner you and Negan had decided to move back out to the stone fire pit, sitting on the large wooden bench with a fleece blanket and two pillows.

You both were leaning against one another, your roasting sticks turning slowly between your fingers as the marshmallows darkened under the heat. Negan pulled his from the flame as he shifted from you to scrape them off onto a plate.

Pulling yours out as well, you turned to him with a smile as he scraped yours off to join his.

“Alright, I think you should have to make these messy fuckers since you love em so much”.

You giggled reaching over his lap to grab the plate “oh quit your whining”, he chuckled opening The chocolate and Graham crackers. Making each of you two s'mores you scooted back onto the bench leaning against the soft pillow.

Negan was watching you closely as you chewed on the sweet mosh pit of awesomeness in your mouth. Raising your hand up to cover your lips you smiled “stop watching me eat”.

He smiled “how the fuck do you not make a fucking mess with these?”

You swallowed with a smile “I don’t know”. Shaking his head he took a bite as creamy marshmallow oozed out between the graham and chocolate down his chin. Growling he set his s'more on the plate leaning forward to avoid a bigger mess “goddamnit, fucking things”.

You laughed, scooting closer to him as he moved to get up.

Grasping his hand you pulled him back to sit down “ohhh come here” you giggled softly, straddling his waist. He let out an annoyed sigh lifting his hands away from you “baby I’m covered in this shit, I gotta get the fuck up unless you want it all over you”.

Sliding your hands around his wrists you pursed your lips before biting it with a smirk “you wanna know the best part about eating s'mores?”

He rolled his eyes with a frustrated huff “feeling like fucking fly paper?”

You giggled leaning forward to peck his lips with a sweet kiss, whispering against him with a smile “cleaning up”.

His mouth opened to retort but fell silent as you ran your tongue up the side of his chin, his eyes falling shut with a deep chuckle.

Pulling back from his now clean lips you gently tugged his hand to your lips, dragging them over his fingers as you cleaned up the sticky remnants of his s'more.

Your husband was breathing heavily as you sucked on his long fingers, moving to his other hand you let out a tiny moan as you finished up on his middle finger.

Groaning he shifted beneath you “ahh…al… alright baby take it fucking easy unless you want me to fuck you into this damn bench”.

You giggled rocking against him gently “hmmm I wouldn’t be opposed to that”. Leaning down to whisper in his ear, you smiled “you taste better than the s'mores”. Biting his lip with a deep chuckle he slid his eyes back shut as you grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around you.

Grasping it’s edges so it stayed around you, Negan leaned his head back against the wood as your lips molded against his. Your fingers running through his dark hair as your hips moved against him in slow torturous rolls.

The night was quite aside from the crackling of the fire and the wet sounds of your lips.

Negan let out a light groan as your hips moved against him more firmly, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip as you tugged on his soft locks. The two of you really needed to take the activities inside, you were soaking through your panties. The slight roll of his hips to meet yours was driving long drawn out whines from your pink lips.

Fisting his hair as he laved your neck in open mouthed kisses, you both flinched as the sound of a door being opened echoed from across the street. Panting heavily against one another you let out a frustrated whine as he moved to mouth at the sensitive flesh behind your ear.

Grasping his rough cheeks you gasped pushing him away slightly “baby stop…I…I think Amber’s outside”. Grunting softly he nuzzled against your cheek with a deep sigh, laced in annoyance.

“We can be fucking quiet” he mumbled against your skin sending shivers down your heated flesh. “You’re joking right?” you giggled softly “were many things Negan but quiet isn’t one of them”.

Growling in frustration he dropped his head against your shoulder “fucking nosey bitch”.

You smiled running your hand through his hair making it stick up “baby we’re the ones dry humping one another in our backyard”. He gripped your hips firmly “skanks probably trying to get a fucking free look at Negan jr.”

Running your hands down his neck and chest to grasp his belt you gave him a sloppy kiss, your right hand slipping down to palm his erection.

His mouth dropped open with a rough gasp “fuck darlin”.

You let out a breathy laugh “that was the idea…” you frowned “…well until we were rudely interrupted”.

Turning his head to look across the street at Amber who was walking around on her porch, her eyes glancing over to your fence briefly as she took a seat on her porch swing. He smirked cocking his head slightly “you think she can tell what we’re fucking doing over here?”

You glanced over at her “doubt it, I mean she can probably just make out us sitting here but that’s about it…why?” his smirk slowly turned into a wicked grin “I think she needs taught a lesson on minding her own fucking business…” he rasped kissing the corner of your mouth “dont’cha think?”

You blushed slightly “Negan no…let’s just go back inside ok?…”

He chuckled “she lookin?”

Glancing over, you could just make out her eyes trained intently on your wooden fence. The cherry of her cigarette illuminating her face as she gave your home a look of disgust. You growled “yeah she’s fucking looking, giving us the damn stink eye”.

He chuckled deeply “jealous bitch”

Rolling his head back he glanced at Amber before arching back slightly with a deep sigh. You furrowed your brow in confusion as his breathing suddenly picked up “Negan, what are you?…” your words died on your lips as a loud moan escaped his lips turning your cheeks bright red.

There was no way in hell Amber didn’t hear that.

Your eyes widened as he shifted beneath you, rolling his hips slightly the sounds leaving his lips making your insides clench.

“Ahhhh fuck…ah fuck yes… baby, just like that!!!”

You covered your mouth to muffle your laughter as he continued “ahhh fucking hell Y/N…goddamn your fucking perfect…fuuuuck”.

The sound of her door slamming shut aggressively made his drawn out groan turn into a wheezing laugh. You hunched over him laughing hysterically as he joined in, his body shaking as the two of you glanced over at the now vacant porch.

“Think she got the fucking point?”

You giggled “you did sound pretty convincing”.

Grasping your slender neck gently, he kissed you “just replaying what I fucking sounded like last night when you murdered our fucking headboard”. You giggled biting his lip as he got to his feet, your legs wrapping around him as he tossed the blanket on the bench.

Squeezing your ass he moved quickly to the back door, your lips sealing over his neck firmly as he shoved you against the door with a loud grunt.

Reaching behind you for the doorknob as your lips moved against one another. Your free hand working his belt loose as he pulled your sweater over your head.

Finally twisting the brass handle you yelped in surprise as you both fell into the house with a loud crash.

The door swinging shut slowly as Lucy began barking, your joined laughter echoing from the house into the cool crisp night.

“Lucy calm the fuck down!”

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dasolution-ns · 4 years

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Going Down Hill

A Katie Hill slam fic by Da Solution

I was at a secret location in California where I was meeting with Kenny Heslep. He wanted to see me so that I can straighten out a terrible situation he was in. As you can probably tell by now if you have been following the news, the situation is that nasty, ugly bi-slut bitch named Katie Hill. She was found out about her illicit affairs with two staffers, but vehemently denies one of them, and then the two-faced hypocritical organization, known as the Democratic party, kicked her switchblade-ass out.

Here we were, sitting in a dimly-lit room not unlike those interrogation rooms that you see in movies and television. His face showed a combination of anger and hesitation. He knew as long as that swing set was on this earth, he will be nothing more than a humiliation. That’s why he came to me.

He was totally exasperated when he said, “I don’t know how those photos got leaked out. I thought we had our computers secure.” Actually I do. A few members of my crew, Team Solution, were paid by a right-wing group to hack their computer. It worked and we were able to get those photos of their shameful throuple threesome. However, he was totally clueless that we were behind it. The group paid us for the photos, and now he will pay us for her elimination. That’s what I call a win-win situation!

“Well, Kenny, that’s what you get for marrying a bi-slut. Trust me, those flaky-ass people are not worth it.”

He shook his head in rightful shame and said, “Oh boy, what the fuck did I just do?” He paused for a bit before continuing. “So are you gonna help me out?”

“Of course, you know my motto: If it’s a bi, then it must die!” Kenny said nothing. He simply smiled.

“Now tell me where she lives. Plus tell me where that other bi-slut bitch and that ugly ass dude she was secretly seeing live as well.”

Kenny thought for a moment before speaking again. “Knowing her, and knowing how much of a promiscuous bitch that she is, all three of them are the place right now, getting busy.”

To say that I was surprised was an understatement. “You mean as in now-now?”

“Yep, as in now-now.”

“Then I must get there now, I got no time to lose.”

Me and two members of Team Solution arrived at the place. I couldn’t bring the full crew because of time. The opportunity to finish that bitch off was so appealling, I was grinning from ear to ear.

I was able to easily break in the apartment, regardless of her having Ring, because Ring ain’t worth shit. It was a two-story apartment room, with a huge living room. This was a splendid apartment, one that couldn’t be covered by a congressman’s salary. Yeah, I said it, she’s crooked. While we hacked into the computer, we got financial records of her kickbacks, bribes, etc. As I was in the place, I heard some noises. It sounded like moaning and bed squeaks. I knew exactly where it was coming from.

As I got to the bedroom, I was going to bust the door down, but instead I decided to gently open the door and surprise the shit out of those sick-ass swing sets. When I got into the bedroom, my eyes were about to pop out in disgust. As Kenny predicted, all three of those fools were there. Katie, along with her fat, ugly, nasty snatch, Morgan Desjardins, and her ugly-ass boyfriend, Graham Kelly. He’s the one she denies having an affair with. Well, we all know now that’s some grade-A bullshit! And speaking of shit, they were in an anal-licking threesome act! Disgusting! These poly-promiscuous perverts are some nasty-ass deviants! It made me wanna hurl. It was bad enough that I had to see all three of them naked! About as disgusting as seeing Hope Solo’s loose lips! When they saw me, they were scared shit!

“Oh no, it’s you!” Katie peeped out.

“You god damn right!” I said in a menacing tone. It scared those horny bastards even more.

Her pussy pal, Morgan, let out a blood-curdling scream. “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Then the fat, bloated, bi-slut, bitch started to cry, so I gave her the John McEnroe Special, a left-handed backhanded slap across the face.

“SHUT DA FUCK UP, BITCH!” That rug-muncher cried even more. Then another one of the losers was crying, but it wasn’t Katie…

“Bhahahahmmmm” cried a pathetic Graham. His goofy-looking ass was crying like the beta-cuck-bitch he is, so I treated him like a bitch, and gave him the John McEnroe Special as well. But I wasn’t done with his punk-ass yet. I then punched Graham in the face, sent him flying to the wall. He was now unconscious. Now I can focus on those cherries-and-bananas-eating bitches.

First I quickly punch that pig Katie right at her fish-and-sausage lips of hers. Then I kick that fat-slob, bi-slut bitch Morgan in the stomach. She went down in pain. That gave me time to grab something in my duffle bag. I grabbed a rock, then I turned and looked at those two bi-slut bitches with pure malice.

“So you two like to rock the three colours, correct?” The three colours I referring to is the bisexual flag.

“We rock it with pride!” said a proud and stupid Katie. That just brought a big smile on my face.

“Well I’m glad that you do, because I rock those who rock the three colours – with The Rock!” I pulled out The Rock and proceed to layeth the smacketh down on Morgan and Katie with it, just like what I did to that pedo-fag Afrika Bambaataa, right in their ugly faces. That’s what they get for rocking the three colours. Next I found a pendulum on the dresser. How fitting… I then proceed to smack the shit outta them with it.

“How do you two bi-sluts like that type of swinging?” I said following with a laugh, while they cried. The more they cried, the more I laughed. Then I noticed that Katie’s back was near the closet door, so I quickly speared her through the door and right into the closet, where she and her finger-friend belongs.

Eventually however, Graham became conscious again. As soon as I saw Graham getting up, I quickly gave him a side kick to the chest and he flew back to the wall. He was hurt and was crying in pain like the beta-bitch he is. Just to get him out of the way, I pulled out my Glock 17 9mm semi-automatic pistol and aimed it right at his chest. I pulled the trigger three times and he was no more. The two fence-jumpers were screaming in fear. It was going to be a foreshadowing of things to come for those two losers.

Now, the bedroom was a mess, with blood all over the place. I had to get out of there, so I brought those two flakes with me, while grabbing their throats. I saw the stairs, and was about to throw them down there, but something came in my mind. I grabbed a nearby glass vase and threw it down the stairs. Then I went ahead and put my foot up Katie’s flat, white, bi-slut ass, and she started tumbling down the stairs, screaming in agony with pieces of broken glass on her. Then I did the same with Morgan, putting my foot up her cellulite-infected chunky fat white ass.

While they were tumbling, I was giggling my ass off. What was the surprise part was that I almost had all of my foot up their asses, literally! Those nasty bi-slut bitches are so slutty and so whorish that their assholes are almost as wide as the Grand Canyon!

As they were lying on the floor with blood and tears, I came downstairs and dragged those bitches by the hair. I dragged them to the dining room. As soon as I got there, Katie opened her nasty mouth.

“You mother fucker! You despicable human being! You hateful bigot! I hope you burn in hell. I hope you…”

My response was simple. I faked a yawn. “Yawn… Tell me something I don’t know.”

She immediately shut up, knowing that her insults have no effect on me. I was near the dining room table, so I proceed to do my favourite activity, slamming those people through tables. I picked Katie up and power-bombed her nasty stank ass through the table. Then I picked Morgan up and showed her that my bi-bashing is different from the others, as I bashed her head against the wall, making a huge dent in the drywall.

After I was done, I knew now it was time to bring out The Solution. The Solution is a modified cricket-bat with a titanium core that has crossed-out flags of the gays and lesbians on one side, and a crossed-out flags of the bisexuals and transgenders on the other side. As soon as they saw it, they were shaking in fear and I was smiling in joy. I first started with Morgan, hitting her with bat’s Bisexual/Transgender side, aka the Bi-Slut/Transmutant side.

“This is for being a fat-bloated bi-slut bitch! CRACK!”

“And this is for eating Katie’s nasty snatch! CRACK!”

“And this is for being a French bi-slut! Fuck the French mother-fuckers! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!”

Then it was that disgraceful congresswoman in disgrace’s turn.

“This is for being a corrupt, shameless bi-slut bitch! CRACK!”

“And this is for being from California! CRACK!”

“And this is for being a fence-jumping, pendulum-swinging, three-colours-rocking, purple-loving, swing-set bi-slut bitch! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!”

Katie was beyond hurt at this point, so I didn’t have to worry about retaliation if I insulted her, but I did it anyway!

“No one’s going to save your nasty ass! Not your husband, not your pussy pal, not even Kyrsten Sinema bi-slut ass! Not Barney Frank’s pedo-fag ass, not Hiliary Clinton, and defiantly not the DNC.”

At this point they were bloody and battered, now it was time to finally cure them of their bisexuality: a bullet to the head.

I first pointed the gun at Morgan’s head. She still had enough energy to scream. “AAAAHHHH – POW!”

I didn’t let her finish her scream, but I didn’t want to deal with a headache. “Now you will finally shut da fuck up.” She was lying there, dead with eyes wide open. It was Katie’s turn to scream.

“NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!” She was getting hysterical and I was getting fed up with her annoying shit, so I punched the fuck outta her face, which I did multiple times, repeating a statement to her.

“FUCK – YOU – BI-SLUT, FUCK – YOU – BI-SLUT!”

Then I pulled her up by her hair only and pinned her against the wall. I had my Glock 17 right near her forehead. I saw the fear and surrender in her eyes. I was quite pleased to see her at that state.

“Well, flaky-floozy, your term on this Earth is about to come to an end now. But look at the bright side, I’m about to cure you of your bi-sluttiness!”

My left hand pulled the trigger, and the bullet went in and out of her head. She was no more.

There was one more thing I had to do. I pulled out an electric branding iron from my bag and heated it up. As soon as it was hot enough, I burned the words “BI-SLUT” on both Kate and Morgan’s forhead. Then I went up to where Graham was lying and burned “BETA BITCH” on his forehead.

After that, I was no more, as I slipped out of the apartment. While I was hiding, I saw the cops finally arrived at the building. I asked Mario, one of my crew members, to hand me the mini-rocket launcher. He did and I used it to blow up the group of police cars. Several police officers were killed, but hey, I wanted to go out with a bang!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A few days later at a home in Arizona, I paid a visit to someone. After I knocked, I hid. The a middle-aged blonde woman came out. I quickly got out of my hiding spot and grabbed her why having my Glock 17 to her head.

“Well, hello there Kyrsten Sinema, it’s time that I straighten you out.” Her response was quite simple.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

THE MOTHER FUCKING END!

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