#World of Warcraft humour

[wowlorecraft]

#wow #world of warcraft #humour #meme #reddit #linguistics #funny

[moxley]

tbh since i got into wrestling i’ve been putting up with people being disparaging and weird about it and clearly wanting to make fun of me so badly and i’ve been relatively good humoured about it. but no more. if you take the piss out of me for my hobby i’m going to tell you how pathetic i think it is that you voluntarily pay for world of warcraft in 2023, you fucking loser. oh? that’s not fair? hmm. it’s almost like making fun of people for things they like is mean

#tal.png

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 12 - Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation Vol. 1 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

So, like everyone on tumblr, I was at least peripherally aware of The Untamed, if only as ‘the C-drama with the impossibly pretty men everyone loves shipping about necromancy or something.’ (Also the one crossover porn fanfic with so many tags that it broke AO3.) So I wasn’t quite coming into this blind, but I think I came pretty close. It sure as hell wasn’t anywhere close to my vague expectations.

Anyway, this was fun! Also absolutely let me cross off reading something from an entirely unfamiliar literary subculture off my metaphorical bingo card for the year. Just reams of assumed context I absolutely did not possess. Kind of loved it (but the occasional clarifying footnotes were very much necessary and appreciated.)

Which is to say – there was so much more slapstick and physical comedy than I expected from the vague intimations of feudal politics and magical warfare I got? Not usually my sort of humour but it got a laugh out of me once or twice. My favourite character is Wei Wuxian’s donkey.

The conceit of the first story – reviled and abused failson destroys his own soul and offers up his body as a host to the spirit of a legendary evil wizard to wreak bloody vengeance for him, but fucks up the bit of the ritual that tells the spirit who to take revenge on. Also the whole ‘legendary evil wizard’ reputation was at least partially and vaguely due to a propaganda campaign by his enemies and he’s not particular enthusiastic about the ‘murder a whole family’ thing – is also just incredible. I kind of wish it had been more drawn out, before the whole ‘gotta collect them [chunks of a specific super cursed corpse] all!’ plot became the main justifying connective tissue.

Not that the overarching plot is really the story’s strong point – it’s basically just the excuse to keep Wei Wuxian and Wang Lanji together and having adventures. The actual selling points are the backstories and character interactions and to a lesser extent the monster of the week stuff. All of which are pretty well done!

Though as far as monster of the week stuff goes – I’m vaguely aware that cultivation fantasy is a whole, like, genre, with about as many weirdly specific shared assumptions as ‘generic’ western fantasy written by people swimming in a sea of Tolkien/Conan-as-interpreted-by-Warcraft-and-D&D, but I’ve really got zero clue whatsoever to what degree the worldbuilding of this is typical of the genre? Not that it particularly matters, beyond some of the reveals making much more sense if they’re building off an assumed awareness of how the world’s expected to work, all more or less new (though more or less intuitive) to me either way. Fun to see so much magic based around music.

Anyways – obviously I’m going in with a biased perspective but my god can you see how this ended up with a massive shipping fandom. The entire story is nothing but impossibly beautiful men flirting/pranking/sexually harassing each other while being utterly and entirely capable to even understand let along communicate their feelings. The two lead’s entire relationship in this volume is like a dated mid-2000s comedy sketch about two ostensibly straight guys playing gay chicken and both being so competitive that they just end up fucking. Author really knew what they were doing with the fanfic bait.

(Though honestly I’m legitimately unsure if it’s just a matter of narrative choice to not dwell on motivations or Wei Wuxian really is the single most unselfaware asshole in the entire universe. He legitimately seems incapable of understanding his own motivations most of the time.)

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the art, which really is very lovely. Though I will be entirely honest that there’s only so many handsome black-haired men in flowing robes I can keep apart in my head.

But yeah, fun read overall. Don’t exactly feel compelled to go seek out the next volume, but don’t regret having read this one, damn sight better than some other things I’ve read this year.

#book review #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo xiang tong xiu

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

What characters could be in Camilla's kin list? Same question about Lance and others :D

Eyyyy 💕

Thank you very much for your question! I hope I was able to choose characters close to our lovely SVE people. This is my first time making this list, I hope I understood everything correctly 😅

Camilla:

Carmilla ("Castlevania"), the queen of vampires (in the Netflix series, she is the general of Dracula's army). She is shown as a femme fatale, seductress and manipulator. Dangerous, bossy, does whatever she wants. Of course, in the games and Netflix series she is terribly selfish and cruel, but still she reminds very much of SVE Camilla (I thought at first that it was Carmilla who inspired the creation of Camilla. Even their names!). High kin.

Bayonetta (game "Bayonetta") - if SVE Camilla was carrying around guns, I'd scream that this is the "Literally Me" category.

Fujiko Mine (manga/anime "Lupin the Third"), a talented thief, cunning and seductive. Able to go to great lengths to achieve those riches, has had many relationships, loves to live luxuriously and is very talented at everything. I prefer Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro and anime season 4 for SVE Camilla, as there Fujiko showed more or less (kinda?) tender feelings and compassion, whereas in the original manga she acts solely out of her own interests. Nevertheless - a strong, intelligent and capable woman that almost always gets what she wants. High kin.

Lance:

Zagreus (game "Hades") - Zagreus is often shown to be humble, good-natured, and sarcastic in the game. I mean, his cheerful, though somewhat unruly nature allows him to easily befriend many people, treating those of lower status as his equals, though he respects his elders. In my opinion - he's almost like Lance's SVE. So "literally me" category.

Zorro (I will choose 1975 film, because it's my favorite) - man with a mask, a master swordsman, a noble defender of the weak and a punishment for criminals. Not without a sense of humour, always ready to rush to the aid of those in need and has a high sense of justice. It would be funny to see Lance in a mask, where after he would then reveal his identity to us.... Maybe a little controversial, but I still think it would be the high kin here.

(There was supposed to be information here about Lance the dragon trainer from Pokémon and a joke about how he and SVE Lance are very similar, but then I remembered that SVE Lance was inspired specifically by Lance from Pokémon. So we'll skip that one).

Isaac:

Geralt of Rivia (book version + game trilogy) - monster hunter, loner, sarcastic, builds himself up to be emotionless and cold, yet has a sense of empathy, stands up for the weak, intelligent and almost always sensible - should I go on? Very high kin.

Van Helsing (2004 film, not the book version) - somebody give me that meme with the two Spider-Men pointing fingers at each other, because oh boy, those two monster hunters are like two peas in a pod! "Literally me," period.

Dettlaff van der Eretein (The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine) - a reserved and cold loner vampire that is trying to find his place in the world, carries a universal sadness inside him and harbours a small hope for simple happiness? Yes, please! I could write a whole list of how similar Dettlaff and Isaac are in character traits, but we'd sit here all day. So I'll give him the "literally me" verdict and we'll go down the list.

Alesia:

Tyrande Whisperwind ("Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos") - Alesia's constant references to the Yoba, kind nature, determination and desire to protect the people made me think of the phrase "By Elune", which I often heard when going through the company of Night Elves (ah, good old Warcraft...). So considering that Alesia leads the men to defend the walls of the Castle Village from the threat, is full of bravery and courage, and always mentions her god, with Tyrande she is very similar. I can safely call this a "literal me" category.

Elita-1 ("Transformers: Generation 1"). Autobot, a skilled and ruthless warrior, yet gentle and kind to her allies. In the animated series and most comics, Elita is cautious and constantly strives to make sure her squad is safe. However, if something goes wrong, she is willing to do anything to keep her friends and subordinates safe. Not much is known about Alesia yet, but from the dialogue we have so far, I get the impression that Alesia will be the same - brave and willing to lay down her life for her friends. High kin.

#hope I was able to get it right #don't be shy to write who would in your opinion be in kin list #I'm very curious #SVE #stardew valley expanded #sve alesia #sve isaac #sve lance #sve camilla #I skip Jadu because it's so hard to make kinlist for him. Like #He was arrived in Stardew Valley once and have some couple dialogue in Castle Village outpost. #thanks for the ask!

[consequencesofargentdawn]

I've gotta say, it's hilarious seeing the same AD posters constantly lamenting the supposed 'ruination' of WoW bending over backwards to praise a rather obnoxious crossover event in FFXIV with Fall Guys. I don't know how familiar you are with the game but it's notorious for jumping the shark in recent years by rather shamelessly retconning large amounts of established lore, justifying acts of in universe genocide (so long as they benefit the supposed 'good guys') and resorting to increasing amounts of bizarre crossovers and bottom of the barrel 'humour'. I suppose it's too much to expect consistency from these people though it's interesting how the stuff they claim to be against is suddenly fine if there's cutesy cat or bunny races involved. I'm posting this mostly in the hope that it exposes their hypocrisy when they inevitably whine to the high heavens about whatever Blizzcon unveils.

The 10K+ Trout Squadron (credit to one of our recent contributors for that name) who post so much on the server forums will love anything that is currently in vogue and not Blizzard. It truly is strange. While we have little to say on the actual Final Fantasy XIV game itself to say (this is after all an Argent Dawn World of Warcraft orientated place), we do find it very odd that those who showed great umbrage towards the way Blizzard's corporate culture and disgusting abuses done in recent years have curiously nothing to say about Square Enix.

---

Square Enix - who publicly and proudly have declared they are all in on Bitcoin and NFT quackery and have had senior executives repeatedly make pledges to integrate such systems into their games because games allegedly are not about fun any more.

Square Enix - who have also had long brewing problems with treatment of workers as well, and in some cases we could even argue have treated their employees worse with any sort of harassment complaints being typically brushed under the rug as is with the majority of those in the culture of corporate Japan. What is even more striking is this kind of culture is also given carte blanche on their international branches as well.

Square Enix - who seemingly have major infrastructural problems to their main money-maker (Final Fantasy XIV) to the point that even on expansion launch days servers collapse for over two weeks after the initial launch. Consider WoW's launch history has never been 'smooth' (though Shadowlands and Dragonflight were remarkably softer than BFA and Legion), this is also an issue that simply gets shrugged off and accepted.

---

You do raise likely very good points about the actual in game content being problematic, we've had a number of DMs over the years regarding the game, though none of our editor team have spent any significant time playing it - so we cannot truly pass on nuanced judgement.

One constant however has been the overall greater toxicity we've had reported regarding Final Fantasy XIV players. The veneer of "super welcoming, super nice" is a major red flag, as is the apparently unwillingness for any sort of critical discussion around the actions of players. As we have mentioned in one of our few posts about this game previously - Final Fantasy XIV has an exceedingly efficient (perhaps too much) reporting systems. While this is good at stopping direct in game harassment, it also perpetuates a toxic culture of insincerity and fakery and players attempting to grief and harass their enemies in more creative and insidious ways.

Much of the actual harassment tends to happen within small cabal controlled discord communities who have in many cases hundreds, if not thousands of players and are managed by a coterie of unaccountable fanatics who decide what is the discourse allowed and not allowed. Doesn't this sound familiar to something we've had to grapple with on Argent Dawn for a long time?

---

However, as likely observed by our readers here, these unthinking 'like' farming drones who regurgitate the current 'consensus' of the popular hivemind will be completely unable to to process their hypocrisy at slovenly praising everything Square Enix does while attacking everything Blizzard does (even the reforms and changes they have put into place in recent years).

#confessions of argent dawn #argent dawn eu #hypocrisy #final fantasy xiv #world of warcraft

[celemee]

Ant Raven. Or all.

31. When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?

29. How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them?

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Ant Raven! Ah, the version of him that I plopped into the Bug's Life world!

Just kidding... unless..?? Answering for Warcraft Raven, this time.

31. When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it? - Whenever he lets someone he cares about down. His friends are incredibly important to him; they're like family. His response is usually to shut himself off instead of apologise, cos he hopes that instead of being held accountable, nobody will notice he's messed up.

29. How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them? - Offended! Indignant! Pride wounded! His sense of humour doesn't usually revolve around fabrications, so he'd be very surprised if people questioned him.

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them? - That voidsdamned blue skin that will never, ever turn back to his old complexion. When it comes to the physical signs of his void corruption, nothing else is really a problem for him except the skin. It means less autonomy. He can never go back home again. He can be conscripted to work for the Alliance at any time. - (oops, forgot to reply to the second part) People tend to notice his fabulous fashion sense, well-groomed hair and pretty features.

Thanks for asking, bb <3

#oc: ravendras #come to think of it having the same tag for all three of them was a bad idea

[whooptybloopy]

For people saying South Park had clever humour (sometimes it is) their first episode was "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" and that was the episode. It was funny. I've seen them make an episode about queefing, World of Warcraft and the hamster going up Mr Slave's ass. Accept that the prime of the show was two guys tweaked out their minds on hallucinogens and anything that was clever was more or less because they were parodying current events.

P.s the "If TADC was written by HB writers" video was kinda unfunny to me and did feel very mean-spirited instead of parody. But that's just me. I just wanted to make sure we all watched the same South Park show.

#vivziepop #helluva boss #south park #its a free show

[queergamingdc]

Scholarly Sources on The QGDC & How they answer my research question

Throughout my research, I compiled a handful of sources that helped me gain an understanding this DC. One of which discussed using gaming as a means of therapy for Trans patients. Another highlighted how a queer community might "assign" a queer identity on a creator they liked. This is a newer DC, so there aren't a lot of articles and the like on it. Despite the lack of information on the DC, it has been around for years. There just isn't a whole lot of documentation or scholarly sources discussing the Queer Gaming Discourse Community.

Below the cut are three examples of sources and how they answer my question,

"From Battleground to Playground: The Video Game Avatar as Transitional Phenomenon for a Transgender Patient" By Sien Rivera

This is a great example of how having a safe space to express yourself can help greatly. I think that the case report with Cynthia is especially helpful when asking the question of “does it matter how a community expresses if it’s a safe space”. Because, while Cynthia wasn’t interacting in an online space like World of Warcraft or something of the similar vein, she was playing two games (The Sims and Legend of Zelda) where she could be expressive within the safety of the game. I found that the way she began to open up to Rivera as their sessions went on was telling of how now that they both had something outside of just Cynthia and her transition to discuss, it felt safer.

"Yes Homo: Gay Influencers, Homonormativity, and Queerbaiting on YouTube" By Crystal Abidin

This is related to my question because it helps set the building blocks for understanding queer online spaces. Before Discord all people could do is find a community on YouTube. For myself especially, I remember following a lot of Gay men on YouTube and being invested in their personal lives. With these queer influencers it’s really easy to have these parasocial relationships with them as they offer all of this information about themselves and their lives.

"LOVE YOU GUYS (NO HOMO)’ how Gamers and Fans Play with Sexuality, Gender, and Minecraft on YouTube" By Amanda Potts

This relates to my DC the most because it’s directly related to “Queer Minecraft Community”. While it’s highlighting how may straight creators can be pegged as queer by their fan bases—I think that this perspective is important. This article highlights how common it is for men to jokingly engage in “queerbaiting” online. I think that Sjin’s view (as of when the article was written and/or published) on “pushing the boundaries of humour” is very important to explain why he doesn’t care if his fans believe he’s gay. This proof of a straight man who is comfortable within his own masculinity is important to note because a lot of people might get upset for being perceived as queer.

[darkspear-dancers]

Damn you, Zul and Yazma. 

This is, by far, the worst of your crimes.

#Ez'tlana #WoW #World of Warcraft #World of Warcraft humour

[red-white-black]

Yall remember the blood curse epidemie in world of warcraft.

Remember how like scientists wanted to study it for sociology and psychology.

And that there was those people who intentionally went into infected areas and return to safe ones to spread it.

Remember how they hypothesized those individuals as JOURNALISTS WHO WOULD GO INVESTIGATE AND RETURN TO DO THEIR RAPPORT.

TURNS OUT THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE ARENT JOURNALIST!!

#corona update #covıd19 #blood curse epidemic #world of warcraft #black plague #funny content #humour #internet history

[videogamesnext-blog]

#video games #gaming #funny #humor #humour #warcraft #wow #world of warcraft #battle for azeroth #@horde #alliance #undead #sargeras #burning legion #undercity #lordaeron

[carancerth-chris-vernel]

Warcraft - War on Lordaeron - Making of a Fanfilm - Part4/6

#wow #warcraft #warcraft art #warcraft troll #warcraft rp #world of warcraft #alliance #lordaeron #battle for azeroth #artists of azeroth #azeroth #human #humour #fun #makingof #makingmemories #movie #movies #film #fandom #fanfilm #fanfic #fantasy #medieval #knight #armor #castle #france #sedan #french

[playfullygrownup]

“We have a really cool tram!” LOL! Enjoy winter without the cold with this World of Warcraft -inspired minimalistic Dun Morogh tourism poster by DCMJS (sold as digital download). See more on Etsy!

#design #digital art #World of Warcraft #WoW #Dun Morogh #posters #travel #tourism #graphic design #playfulness #humor #humour #snow #sky #games #computer games

[thiamfresh]

I️ LOVE WOW

AHHH! Thank you, I mean, I personally prefer CoD but that’s just because  I never had the money to buy WoW

#i'm too tired to be answering asks #shitty world of warcraft humour #but for real i've never played it #and i was fucking bomb at call of duty for a while #BUT SERIOUSLY THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'M GLAD THAT YOU LIKE MY BLOG/STORIES

[appleandsinnamon]

Ahhh the great outdoors.

#Dryads #WoW #World of Warcraft #Legion #Dalaran #Knightly TroubLs #sometimes you just don't want to walk #even with a superfast deerbutt #wait this isn't homestuck #Sertan's Shitty Humour

[viking-raider]

Quarantine: Ink

Summary: Henry wakes up with some ink that you put on him.

Pairing: Henry Cavill/You

Word Count: 1,737

Warning: M - Language, Fluff, Prank, Smut - Mention of Cock-warming, intercourse, cream-pie, simulation

Inspiration: There’s a company called Ink Box I’ve always wanted to try and I thought it be funny to prank someone with it, and thought I’d write a prank fic with Hen about it.

Author’s Note: This story is for and dedicated to @littlefreya​! You have my deepest love and support, lady.

You ripped open the brown packaging and smiled at the two pieces of film inside. You had ordered them two weeks prior and received them the day before, and had intended on waiting on the best moment to reveal them to Henry, to convince him to use them with you.

But, one thing had led to another and you and Henry had ended up ripping each other's clothing off and making love in the living room, before ordering take away and having a sweet night in together.

Speaking of your beloved boyfriend, he was still upstairs in bed, sprawled out on his stomach and snoring softly. With quarantine in place, Henry got to sleep in most mornings, which was nice, he worked so hard, between his work outs and his filming projects, getting up at four-thirty in the morning, he deserves to sleep in til ten or eleven.

That's when the idea hit you, with a giggle.

Taking the items upstairs to the master bedroom with you, you smiled at your peaceful and oblivious Puppy, still on his stomach, arms folded underneath his pillow and his head resting on top of them. Biting your lip, you carefully pulled down the blankets still covering his stark body, your fingers, light as feathers, touched the base of his neck and traced down the slope of his broad back, lingering in the hollow of his spine, before cupping one of the cheeks of his plentiful tush in your palm; chuckling softly.

“You are beautiful.” You cooed at his sleeping form, a bubble of loving pride in your chest, before you carefully got into bed and straddled his hips, making Henry moan and grunt, shifting and his face pinching as you disturbed him. “Ssshh.” You purred, leaning down, and kissing the space between his wide shoulders.

“Sleep, Puppy. Sleep.” You mumbled, nuzzling his shoulder blade and rubbing the back of his head, until he moaned again, relaxing and dropping back off to sleep.

Henry settled, you relaxed and sat back, sitting on his thighs, and stared at him for a long moment, before nodding to yourself and picking up a single use, primer wipe packet that came with the two items you ordered, and ripping it open. You gently rubbed the wipe in circles on the back of Henry's right shoulder, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you did, waiting and expecting him to wake up and catch you at any moment. But, he only made a couple of noises and shifted a few times, otherwise he was blissfully unaware and out cold.

Rubbing Henry's shoulder with the wipe for thirty seconds, you tossed it on the nightstand and let the spot dry, while you picked out which of the two items you wanted to apply to the spot, before finally settling. Gently peeling off the protective film from the back, you carefully pressed the sticky side down to the clean, dry and exfoliated section of Henry's shoulder, smoothing it out, so there were no wrinkles or creases, hoping Henry didn't move too much while it was there, for the next hour. With that one down, you moved on, starting to giggle again, but slapped a hand over your mouth, so you didn't wake Henry up with it. You opened the second primer wipe and used it on the exposed side of Henry's neck, being even gentler and careful, knowing just how sensitive the skin here was; but you couldn't resist putting this one here on his neck, where he would almost always see it and likely couldn't cover it up.

With both applied to his skin, you slipped off of him, laying down beside him, arm slung over the small his back and cheek pressed to his clear shoulder blade, listening to the gentle rise and fall of his breathing, drifting in and out of sleep yourself, until you heard Henry's alarm go off.

“Wait, wait, wait!” You protested, jumping up out of bed, pressing your hands down on his back. “Don't move yet.”

“Why?” Henry frowned at you, feeling the filmy patch on his neck and tried to reach out and touch it.

“You still have ten minutes.” You told him, catching his arm.

“What have you been doing, Nugget?” Henry sighed, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he laid back down and relaxed.

“You'll see in ten minutes.” You chuckled, peeking to making sure none of his moving wrinkled the film stuck to his skin, and was relieved when they weren't. “Did you sleep well?”

“You know, I always sleep well, when I'm buried cock deep in you.” He chuckled coyly, smirking, and his sleepy blue eyes sparkling mischievously.

You grinned, uncontrollably, and looked away from him, almost shy. “I do know that.” You chuckled back, licking your lips and clearing your throat. “But, you know what I mean, silly bear.”

“I did.” Henry sighed softly, reaching out to gently trace your side with the back of his fingers. “Did you?”

“Mmhm.” You nodded, gently touching his neck. “Okay.” You smiled, gently peeling the applicator film off his neck and shoulder. “All right, you can look now.” You giggled, grinning, impishly at him.

Henry pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes at you, skeptical, but got out of bed and walked into the bathroom, seeing what was on his neck first. “You did not!” He barked, coming back into the bedroom, his eyes huge and mouth hanging open.

“How could you!?” He demanded, but the betrayed amusement was very clear in his voice.

“And it'll only get darker over the next two days.” You grinned, stepping up to him, to touch the faint, blue-ish, World of Warcraft, Horde symbol on the side of his neck, just below his left ear. “You're a traitor to your precious Alliance now, my precious Paladin.” You teased him, tickled with delight.

“Did you see the one on your shoulder?” You asked, lifting a brow at him, more than sure he had not.

“What?” Henry snapped, his voice breaking a teeny bit, and turned to go back into the bathroom.

You followed him into the bathroom, watching him turn his back to the full length mirror and crane his head over his shoulder, struggling to see his back to spot the other temporary tattoo on his shoulder that you had put on him, then looked back at you, shoulders dropping and eyes even wider at the Cat nose and whiskers.

“Seriously?” He huffed at you, shaking his head.

“I was originally going to put that one on the inside of my wrist.” You explained, trying to hold back a burst of laughter. “But, I got carried away.” You told him, finally losing control and busting out into a hoot of laughter, doubling over.

“How long do these last?”

“It'll fade in three weeks, promise.” You told him, wiping away tears, seeing the panicked worry in his face.

“I am so fucked, if I have to do any interviews or PR stuff.” Henry laughed, looking at the Horde logo on his neck; tracing it with his finger. “Why the Horde crest?”

“They didn't have the Alliance Lion.” You replied, hopping up to sit on the counter. “Plus, I thought it would be funny, since I know you're such a die hard Alliance player.” You chuckled, leaning in to kiss the crest, hands resting on Henry's bare sides.

“What sense of humour you have, my love.” Henry cooed, turning his head to capture your lips in his own and stepped between your legs. “You do know, I will get you back for this.” He whispered against your lips, kissing you deeper, his hands grabbing the back of your knees and yanked you closer to him.

“I expect nothing less.” You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist.

A hum rumbling in his chest, Henry grabbed the back of your head and deepened the kiss, tongue swiping by your lips to flick across your tongue, making both of you moan at the same time. You rocked your hips against his, feeling his cock awaken against your thighs and folds. Henry's teeth pulled at your bottom lip as he pulled his body away from yours enough for you to slip your hand between your humming bodies to grab his hard length, stroking the throbbing organ, your thumb caressing the weeping, uncut head, before guiding it to your entrance.

“Christ, you feel so fucking good.” You moaned into his neck, hugging your legs tighter around his hips as he pushed inside of you.

“You too, baby.” Henry groaned, placing open mouthed kisses on your neck and shoulder, while thrusting into you. “You're so snug around me.” He panted into your ear, planting his hands on the counter, on either side of you, and used the leverage to increase the strength of his thrusts, making the items on the counter rattle and a couple knock over

“Uh, Henry!” You cried out, one hand grasping the top of his shoulder, as you leaned back on your other one. ”God, fuck!” You let go of his shoulder and started rubbing your clit.

Both your and Henry's breathing was as erratic as your movements, lost in the moment of heated passion and pleasure. Henry grabbed you by the waist, slapping your and his hips together as his thrusts became wild and involuntary, starting to reach his plateau. You could feel the increased throb of his cock inside of you, the hot swelling against your walls as his balls tightened with his building orgasm. Henry snapped his hips into you one more time before throwing his head back and going completely rigid, his stiff cock pumping ribbon after ribbon of hot cum into your core, helping you tip over into your own plateau, your hand falling away from your clit.

Henry sluggishly wrapped his arms around your torso and hugged you against him, kissing your lips and temple, before breathily whispering into your hair. “I'm picking out yours.”

You chuckled, pressing your cheek to his chest, feeling his pounding heart slowing down. “I'll show you the website during breakfast.” You promised, turning your head to press a chaste kiss to the Horde logo on his neck.

#Henry Cavill #HenryCavill #viking-raider fics #Quarantine: Ink #Quarantine: Ink *fic* #Quarantine Series #Ink #Ink Box #Henry Cavill/You #Henry Cavill x You #Henry Cavill/Reader #Henry Cavill x Reader #tattoos #littlefreya #smut #fluff #language