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afishcalledfatin · 5 years

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Dr DONG

All my covers have 'insomniac' because it was from my other account!

Summary: in which Sicheng, the anesthesiologist fell in love with the patient who sang to him after surgery.

Pairings: doctor!sicheng x fem reader

Genre: fluff

A/N: I hope you guys like it! Its really short and I apologise for that. If there are any mistakes, please do inform me :))

• Cutest anaesthesiologist ever!

• Member of ‘handsome doctors' group

• Is a shy baby

• But will roast you like a chicken if needed

• Like the great Mark Lee said “OPINIATED BUT I'M ALWAYS SPITTING STRAIGHT FACTS”

• Anyways,

• He came to Korea to study then continued as a anaesthesiologist

• WORKS REALLY HARD! SUPER DEDICATED!

• Besides the guys of Dr. 127 he also loves to hang out with the transfer doctors from China. The hospital calls them Vision Medics.

• IM SO LAME WHAT THE ACTUAL AHHHHH SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE IT A COOLER NAME IM CRYING

• “KUN, SICHENG LETS GET SOME HOTPOT!” “Xuxi please lower your voice this is a hospital.” “HELL YEAH” “SICHENG I-”

• Even though he isn't the youngest, the boys of Dr. 127 like to baby him

• Don't get me started with Dr Nakamoto and Dr Moon.

• “Sicheng! Pay attention to meeee!” “DON'T YOU HAVE A SURGERY RIGHT NOW?”

• He can predict alot of things

• Like how he and Dr Lee knew way before anyone did about Dr Moon's girlfriend

• He's just very observant over the little changes of attitude

• Really flexible

• That one time during the employee vacation and they requested him to demonstrate some stretches cause they knew he does traditional Chinese dance

• The guys of Dr 127 and Vision Medics warned everyone else because they knew how Sicheng's stretches were like. They all went “oh we'll be fine! How bad would it be?”

• Long story short, everyone gave up after the first stretch

• Sicheng was so confused he was like “But it's easy! Just put your leg above your head and voila!”

• He loves strawberries

• That one time the boys brought him to a strawberry farm and he got so excited and smiled the entire day

• Did I just squeal at the thought? Yes, yes I did

• When he's in the OR, he will calm down a patient with encouraging words before starting.

• “Ms Kang, you are under great care and we'll make sure we'll do everything to help you. You'll be fine. Now lets count to 10, yeah?”

• Oh! When kids come in, he makes them balloons by blowing up a glove. It calms them down.

• Sicheng sees his job as to making sure every patient is calm and comfortable before any surgery.

• Has the CUTEST laugh ever.

• Like seriously

• Kids hear him and they're like “WHAT A CUTE DOCTOR”

• He seeks out for Dr Lee when he has a problem

• “Hey Taeyong, can I ask you something? Unless you're busy then I can come some other time?” “Sicheng, you're one of my best friends. I'll always have time for you guys. Now, what do you wanna ask?”

• he loves every one of his friends so much and he wouldn't know what he'd do without them.

• Now what about baby's love life

• 2 words, non- existent

• He's never had a girlfriend before and he's super sad about it

• “AM I TOO PICKY? AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH?” only to hear a loud gasp

• “HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT?” Yuta squishes Sicheng's cheeks.

• Anyways because of how shy Sicheng can get, he finds it hard to find a date

• every date he's been on turns out to be really awkward

• He thinks nobody wants to date him

• WHEN IN ACTUAL FACT EVERYONE DOES. LIKE SOME OF THE NURSES AND FEMALE DOCTORS LITERALLY HAVE THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON HIM

• One day, he was called in for a surgery alongside Dr Mark

• These two are also very close

• When the patient came in, he actually did a double take

• She's gorgeous what the hell?

• “Hello there.” He greeted. You were obviously a nervous wreck but the second you saw him, your heart rate increased and it wasn't because of how nervous you were for this surgery

• Both of you looked at each other for a few moments before he snapped out of it

• In a way, it was love at first sight

• “THEY ZINGED!” -the monsters of Hotel Transylvania

• “I can see you're nervous and that's okay. I just hope you know that you're in good hands.”

• You still couldn't calm your nerves

• Sicheng hesitated but he held your hand. His soft hand encasing yours

• “Everything will go smoothly. Trust me.” He said kindly.

• You stared at him before smiling. “Thank you doctor.” You said softly. He flashed an adorable smile

• “Lets count to ten, shall we?” soon, you were out of it.

• After the surgery, you woke up obviously groggy and confused

• Usually, Sicheng doesn't visit the patients after but he suddenly felt the urge to

• Mark didn't mind, a bit curious but he didn't mind nonetheless

• When you woke up you were spluttering out nonsense

• “I could've won that competition but nOOOOO, THAT GORGEOUS SUNI WON. UGH.”

• “Looks like she's responding pretty okay. Miss, is anyone going to come see you?” Mark asked.

• “Yeap! My sister said she'll come at around 6:30.” You said to excitedly while showing seven fingers. Sicheng chuckled softly at how cute you were.

• Mark checked his watch. “Ah, that's in 10 minutes. We'll be outside, if you need us please do press the button yeah?” Mark informed you. You showed two thumbs up.

• “Well, we'll be going now.” Mark said. Just as Sicheng was leaving you suddenly sat up

• “Hey, you!” you called him. Sicheng turned around and pointed to himself. “Me?”

• “yes, come here.” You said softly.

• Sicheng walked over and sat awkwardly

• “I have something to tell you.”

• “What is it?”

• “You're cute. Like WOW VERY CUTE, CUTE.” Usually, after surgeries people would be dead asleep or they'd be too groggy to form sentences

• You however, looked like you were drunk

• Sicheng suddenly began blushing. “I swear the dosage wasn't that high.” He whispered to himself

• “You're so cute I'll sing you a song!” Sicheng was expecting really off-key singing but instead he was startled with a very beautiful and soothing voice.

• You were singing Riptide by Vance Joy

• Sicheng stared at you in disbelief

• “Tadaaa~” you did jazz hands. 2 seconds after that, you fell asleep.

• He began smiling to himself before he fixed your blanket, making sure you were covered properly

• When he walked out of your room, he saw Mark and Johnny leaning on the nurses counter, smirking and wiggling their brows.

• “what are you two smirking about?” he passed by them and grabbed a clipboard.

• “Oh nothing, just the fact that Miss Y/N was singing really loud to you and you're a blushing mess.” Johnny teased.

• Sicheng's eyes widen and he held onto his cheeks as he ran away.

• He'd see you once in a while and both of you would smile shyly

• you both wanna talk to each other but alas, timing is never right

• Few days have passed and he couldn't get over the adorable patient

• He went to the cafe downstairs and ordered his regular.

• While Taeil went to see his fiancée at the flower shop, Sicheng waited in the cafe.

• While he was waiting, he was looking around until he saw someone and automatically wanted to hide.

• He saw you ordering your drink and you waited

• He was in a mix of going up to you or running away

• He suddenly felt adamant to talk to you

• He was just getting up

• THEN MR MOON TAEIL CALLED HIM

• Sicheng literally wanted to cry

• “C'mon, our drinks are ready.”

• You watched as the handsome doctor walked out of the cafe

• You sighed when a lady came to give you your drink.

• “Why the long face sweetie?” the elderly woman asked. “Its nothing. Thank you though.”

• “It seems like you're thinking about Dr Dong.” “W-what?” “Well, you've been watching those two doctors and I hope it isn't the man with the black hair. He's engaged to my granddaughter.” She chuckled. You laughed softly

• “yes, don't worry I was looking at the one with brown hair. He was the anaesthesiologist for my surgery.” You smiled. The lady pat your shoulder.

• “He's a very nice man. He's quite shy though.” She smiled and walked back to the counter.

• You went on with your lives. He continued thinking about you and you did the same for him.

• just when both of you thought there was no hope,

• the boys had all decided to go to this famous cafe after work. Sicheng happily followed.

• He wore a striped white shirt tucked into a pair of black jeans. He had pushed his hair back

• They all got into the cafe and ordered their drinks.

• Just as Sicheng was gonna drink his caramel macchiato, he heard a very familiar voice.

• There you were on the small stage singing Somewhere Only We Know by Keane.

• You wore a beige dress shirt tucked into a pair of acid wash mom jeans

• the lights softly illuminating your beautiful facial features

• Sicheng watched you in awe

• Johnny and Mark were both elbowing each other and laughing

• The other guys were quite clueless

• You were so into it that you didn't realise the pair of beautiful eyes staring at you

• When you took a look around the cafe your eyes finally landed on his.

• both of you were just looking at each other, not knowing what was going to happen. Will he approach me? Is he actually looking at me?

• do I go to her? Would she be weirded out?

• Sicheng took a big gulp

• Johnny finally told the other guys

• You got off the stage and the guys were pushing Sicheng out of his chair

• He finally got up and scowled at his friends

• He walked up to you and scratched the back of his neck

• “Hello Miss Y/N.” “Hello Dr Dong.” Both of you stood there, obviously quite nervous.

• “How... how are the stitches healing up?” “Quite well! Slowly but surely.” You said.

• You both stood in awkward silence, he looked like he kept on wanting to say something but he was scared

• "Your performance was amazing." He complimented. "Ah thank you. I don't think I did that good though." "No, no. You were... you were perfect." He said slowly.

• you smiled and he did too.

• “I.. I know this is very sudden but I can't stop thinking about you." He finally confessed. Your eyes widen but you smiled.

• "Me too. Ever since the surgery."

• And in that moment it felt like both of you were the only ones in the cafe. The bustling sounds of talking and laughter were gone. It was jut you and him. He laughed and scratched the back of his neck.

• “Miss Y/N I don't mean to sound improper but are you by any chance... single?” “Yes! Yes, I am and you?” “Oh yes, me too.” Both of you smiling shyly, avoiding eye contact.

• "I wanted to ask if... if you would you like to join me for coffee this Tuesday?” he finally said.

• You looked at him before nodding eagerly. “I would love too. Here, put in your number.” He dialled in his number and you gave him yours.

• “Well, until Tuesday then” “At 3. I'll see you then Dr Dong.” You said. "Sicheng. Just call me Sicheng." He told you. "Well, I'll see you on Tuesday Sicheng."

• When he sat down, he was teased left and right

• “OOOOH SICHENG~” “shut up.” He grumbled.

• The day came and you wore a flowery white dress and he wore an oversized grey sweater with black slacks

• You decided to meet up at the same cafe

• Both of you ordered pastries and your drinks

• Right before the date, Sicheng had given himself a pep talk

• “I can do this. Just say anything. YOU WILL ACE THIS DATE!”

• Guess who is stirring his tea and avoiding eye contact. Yeap.

• But a few minutes after that he started asking you questions

• You knew he was shy so you were really patient

• AND HE APPRECIATED IT

• He started with the common questions and slowly conversation was really easy

• Sicheng also told you about the time you sang to him

• BUT YOU DON'T RECALL THAT HAPPENING???

• “WAIT, SO I CALLED YOU CUTE AND SANG TO YOU?” “YOU DON'T REMEMBER?” “NO????”

• “uh well this is awkward.” He said softly.” “Even though I don't remember this happening, I'm glad I did it. Look at where we are now.” You smiled. He looked up and gave a full blown smile.

• You both started texting regularly and started seeing each other for dates

• Soon, you were his official girlfriend!

• The guys were really happy for Sicheng

• What is he like as a boyfriend?

• WELL HE'S AMAZING

• He would bring you for cheesy dates like picnics or park dates and he loves talking polaroid pictures of both of you during these dates. He keeps all of the pictures in an album he is yet to show you.

• He likes to talk to you

• he will talk about anything and he loves hearing your views

• both of you can be an emotional mess

•"Baby, I have something to show you! It's so cute!!" As he shows you a video of a puppy.

• both of you cried at how cute it was

• SOON AFTER BOTH OF YOU ADOPTED A PUPPY TOGETHER AND NAMED HER LILY

• he enjoys his off day just sleeping in beside you. He doesn't want to move because he barely gets to do this.

• when either of you get sad about something the other will do their best to make them happy again

• Sometimes he just likes to sit with you and not talk. Just sitting in comfortable silence.

• He also loves it when you sing, it was one of the many reasons he fell in love with you in the first place

• You too love hearing him sing, it helps you sleep or relax

• Your biggest supporter, he comes for your performances when he can

• You always bring him food during his lunch break. Both of you would eat together at the hospital cafeteria.

• When you argue, both of you would remind each other that you both need to solve the problem together.

• Because both of you follow the rule of “You and me vs the problem” not “You vs me”

• He tried to make you breakfast once but he gave up halfway but you didn't mind

• You both settled for cereal

• Once, he brought you to the same strawberry farm the boys brought him and you picked strawberries together

• When you got home, you made him homemade strawberry milk while he watched you sweetly from the kitchen island.

• ‘This is the woman I'll love forever’ he thought.

• You turned to him and smiled. “What are you thinking about?”

• “about how much I love you.” He said. You smiled and went to him and stood in front of him.

• He pulled you to stand in between his legs, his hands on your waist. Your hands wrapped around his neck

• He pulled you in for a kiss and both of you kiss slowly

• After parting, slightly breathless

• You leaned on each others foreheads

• “I love you.” “I love you too.”

Hello~ I don’t actually know how the medical world works, I only know the basics. I deeply apologize if there are mistakes.

Credits to owner of the photo

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okayoonoh · 4 years

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best part (1): lee taeyong

“you don’t know babe, when you hold me and kiss me slowly, it’s the sweetest thing.”

---

- PAIRING: lee taeyong x reader - GENRE: ANGST ANGST ANGST, a little tiny tiny smut in there but it barely counts tbh - RATING: it’s a good M for mature. - WORD COUNT: 4,514 - WARNINGS: it’s sad and there’s a little smut in here. it’s not super explicit tho.

a/n: this honestly makes me sad, but i need to learn to write angst and simply doing it is one of the best ways. i hope you guys like it :,)

---

Knock, knock, knock

“Y/N please, let me in.”

Your heart aches at every knock. Every fiber of your being is telling you to keep that door shut, to keep him out and forget about him forever. It’s easier this way, for his career and your’s. Everyone knows that nothing about this is okay, you know it and he does as well.

And yet, why do you find yourself standing up and walking towards the door?

You take slow steps walking towards your front door. You hear his knocking becoming even more desperate, almost as if he thought that the louder he knocked, the quicker you would open your door.

“Y/N please… just let me in. I just want to talk to you...”

Your hand comes in contact with the doorknob, tears still spilling out of your eyes. You keep telling yourself not to open that goddamn door, over and over like a mantra in your head.

And yet, you find yourself turning the doorknob and looking into those wide tear-stained eyes you told yourself you’d never see again. The second the door opened wide enough for him to enter, he wrapped his arms around you, holding the back of your head, pressing your sobbing form against his body. You grasped onto the grey sweater he was wearing, sobbing. You want to break away from him. You want to live far away so you’ll never have to see him anymore. You want to push him away. You want to live a life without him.

It’s crazy, really. 2 months ago, your mindset about him was complete the complete opposite. 2 months ago, you thought you’d never push him away. 2 months ago you were his best friend, the one friend that stuck with him when he became an idol. You told him everything and he to you. Any little issue and accomplishment, he told you. Any little exam you passed and depressing mood you’ve been in, you’ve confided in him. You never thought you would ever want to let him go, he was your lifeline, the one and only thing you’ve ever wanted to hold onto for the rest of your life. He was your best friend, your ride or die. He made you feel so safe and accepted every when you were at your worst. So, why are you sitting here, the most confused you’ve been your entire life, about him? Someone you used to be so sure, so confident that you would never, ever, have to worry about him of all people. Why him?

---

4 months ago

---

“Y/N! Open your door! I have news!”

You move your laptop to the side as you walk towards your door, rolling your eyes. You know that voice like the back of your hand. You twist the door handle and pull, greeted by the excited expression of your best friend.

“Hyunzie? Why are you here at 10:00 at night? I thought you were at Sicheng’s place?” you quip.

She rolls her eyes, already walking inside of your apartment, “Wow, I love you too. But I was at Sicheng’s place but this news is way too important for me not to tell you now!”

She stalks over to your kitchen, making herself and you a cup of tea.

“Okay, Hyunzie, if it’s this important, why are you making me tea?” You ask while accepting the mug she hands you.

“Because I would like to ‘spill the tea’” Her eyes light up, waiting for your response.

You give her a true, mint condition, authentic, fake laugh, “Ha ha. Seriously, Hyunzie. I was finalizing some reports while watching the last episode of ‘The Amazing Irish Cooking Show’. What is so urgent that you had to cut me off from Moira taking home the gold?”

“Okay, first of all, Moira doesn’t even win, second of all, why are you so sassy today?”

“Hyunzie.”

“Fine Mr. Grumpy Pants I’ll tell you. So, I’m just going to tell you the most important thing now since I don’t think you want the build up. We’re moving to Seoul.”

“Hyunzie, stop messing around, just tell me the news and go home, it’s getting late.”

“No, Y/N, I’m being 100% serious. You remember how Sicheng and Taeyong sent in your song to SM? They’re offering us a job!”

You look your best friend directly in her eyes. You know when she’s lying, but none of those signs are being shown right now.

You stutter, “We-- We’re leaving? You’re not kidding me, right? And-- and us? Did they--”

She purses her lips and nods, “Yes! Sicheng sent in my artwork as well, they want me to work for them for their next comeback! We’re moving to Seoul!”

You open your arms, enveloping Hyunzie in the biggest hug. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes. You did it. You’re finally getting a chance to be heard. You can finally put an end to your mindless desk job and do the thing you’ve dreamed of doing ever since, well, ever.

You separate from the hug and press your hand to your burning cheeks, trying not to freak out too badly. “So, when do we leave?”

Hyunzie doesn’t miss a beat, “As soon as possible. Sicheng has already laid out a place for us to stay until we find a place. I’m ready to go whenever you are. I know it’ll take a while for you to actually quit your job and stuff, but I’ll help you pack and everything! We’re in this together Y/N.”

You nod and grab your laptop from where you set it down. “I’ll send in the 2 weeks now.” Hyunzie nods back, grabbing the remote and pressing play, putting your favorite show back on.

A couple hours past and Hyunzie fell asleep on the side of your couch when you added the final touch to your reports and your two weeks notice. You yawn, looking towards your best friend. Your heart fills with so much love knowing that she is sticking with you throughout this entire event. Ever since her secret relationship with Sicheng started, she’s been nothing but the best version of herself. No, Sicheng is not the man who “magically” changed her, he knows that, but he also knows that Hyunzie doesn’t need him. Hyunzie and Sicheng compliment each other so well, not one personality being overshined by the other. The sneaking around between the two is something that most couples would hate, but due to the secretive and private nature of the both of them, they find it thrilling to flirt in the shadows and act as complete “strangers”.

If Hyunzie never took the chance to talk to the cute regular who showed up in the cafe where she worked, you would have never had the chance to even send in your music to SM. Sure, Taeyong could have given you the inside scoop, but you never wanted to seem like you were using Taeyong. Sicheng was willing to stop by and he felt the same about you and your music. He agrees that your music should be shared and with the help of Taeyong, your music now has a greater chance than ever before.

Ring ring ring

Your ears perk as you look at the caller ID. Speak of the devil.

“Y/N, it’s me! Did Hyunzie tell you the news? I’m so sorry, I finally got a free chance to talk to you, I’m actually in the States right now with the rest of the member--”

“Hey Taeyong-ie, and yes, Hyunzie is actually sleeping on my couch at this very moment. She told be the information like an hour ago? Look, I can’t thank you enoug--”

“Nonsense, I’ve always known your music should be shared. I just didn’t know what time would be best and apparently Sicheng just sent it in today, and I wasn’t even there to see everyone’s reactions!”

You giggle, “Don’t worry about it, Youngie. I’m still in shock with everything right now.”

“I know, it’s a crazy feeling isn’t it? I can’t even remember what went through my mind when I passed my audition.”

“I honestly am not sure with anything I’m feeling, but I have one thing for certain.”

“Hm?”

“I can’t wait to work with you on the daily. It’ll be just like when we were kids.”

You can practically hear his smile through the phone, your heart flutters at the thought.

“I know Y/N! It’ll be just like old times! I can’t wait for you to meet the rest of the members, I just hope Johnny and Jaehyun can turn down the flirtiness when you get here. We have no room for any relationships, except for the godly couple of Hyunzie and Sicheng, they are the exception.”

“Amen. Well, I just finished my two weeks. I’m going to send it in tomorrow and begin packing as soon as I can.”

“I’m glad! You can do so much better than that mindless job, Y/N. I always knew you could… You’ve always been so -- What? What do you mean Xuxi broke the entire light structure? -- I’m so sorry Y/N, I have to take care of this. Look, text me if you need anything, I’m down to help you with whatever you need. We leave the States in three days, so I’ll be home to help you by then. I’ll see you when I get home!”

“It’s okay, Youngie, you have your leader duties to attend to. Tell Lucas to be careful and take it easy on yourself, okay? I’ll see you soon, thank you for everything.”

“Thank you too, bye bye!”

The call ends and you hold your phone close to your chest. Even just the sound of Taeyong’s voice makes you happy beyond belief. Imagining spending everyday with him fills you with so much elation, it’s hard to hold back. Taeyong and you grew up together, best friends before you even met Hyunzie. Together, you and him could conquer the world. Your parents would say that, even his sister. You both were notorious for talking the ears off of anyone and everyone and even conducting elaborate pranks you pulled on his sister and even your family members. When he joined SM, he had to move away to Seoul while you stayed in your hometown. He knew that he didn’t want to lose contact with you, and did all he could to make sure you would never lose this close bond the two of you have. There are underlying feelings between you two, you just can’t quite pinpoint it. Or your mind simply won’t let you knowing about all of that negative backlash that you would receive.

A loud snore shakes you from your thoughts as your eyes shoot towards Hyunzie’s sleeping form. You giggle lightly, grabbing the blanket that drapes off of the side of the bed and lay it on your best friend. You turn off the lamp then head off to your room, getting ready to start this new era of your life.

---

2 weeks (and, like, 2 days) later

---

Surprisingly, with the help of your movers and all of the free members of NCT, you were able to move and unpack almost instantly. Hyunzie and you basically sold all of your old furniture to buy new ones, so the only things you both had to worry about was your clothes and such. The new apartment is filled with loud music and laughs all throughout as the members all work hard to help you build all of your new furniture from the iconic Ikea. Hyunzie and Sicheng occupy themselves with the coffee table, flirting and lightly arguing more than building the actual surface. You, Johnny, and Taeyong busy yourselves in the kitchen, sorting out all of the dishes and pans, Johnny’s main goal is carefully placing all of your important bowls and dishes in the high shelf.

“Again, thank you so much for all of your help,” You say, handing Johnny a decorative bowl your mother gave you as a gift when you moved to your own place for the first time.

“It’s no problem! We’re in between comebacks right now, so all we really do is wait for the Dreamies to post ASMR videos or my JCC stuff, but sometimes taking a break and doing things like this is better than filming everything 24/7 y’know? It’s almost therapeutic.” Johnny says cheerfully, giving you a gentle smile.

“So Y/N,” Johnny begins, lifting the next box and moving to the next set of cabinets, “How did you and Taeyong meet? I know you guys grew up together, but like what’s the history?”

You smile, looking at the boy in the living room who is currently settling the argument between Sicheng and his girlfriend.

“Well, historically, we’ve just been close friends,”

“No, no. Like, romantically. I’ve seen the way Taeyong lights up when he talks about you. There’s no way there’s no history between the two of you.”

You hesitate when you hand him the next plate. He is right, it’s not like there wasn’t anything going between the two of you, there definitely was something, “Well… if I’m being completely honest, there was. But it all ended when he left.”

Johnny nods, “I see, I see. Well, never say never! You’re back now, so anything could happen. And I mean, if it doesn’t work with him.... I know this tall, Chicago man that is available…”

He smirks at you suggestively. You pull the towel that rests on his neck then hit his side.

“Hey hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game.” He laughs. You roll your eyes as you grab the empty box and put it in the pile of empty boxes.

The rest of the afternoon goes rather smoothly as everyone finishes up with your’s and Hyunzie’s apartment. You and Taeyong sit on the couch while Hyunzie and Sicheng sit on the ground, leaning against the coffee table they assembled together. Hyunzie leans her head on Sichengs shoulder, dozing off. A movie plays in the background while you and Taeyong talk softly.

You stretch while Taeyong grabs your attention.

“Y/N, I just wanted to let you know that I’m so happy you’re here now.”

You smile at you him, “I am, too. I finally feel like I’m doing something worth my time, you know?”

He nods at you, “I know what you mean. Look, I also want to apologize for not being there for you--”

“--Tae, I’m going to stop you right there. I completely understand, I wouldn’t still be your best friend if I didn’t understand. I love you, more than you could ever know, Tae. You never have to apologize to me for anything.”

He gives you a somber smile, then gently places his hand over yours, “Thank you for being you. I love you, too.”

Your heart clenches, hearing him say those words truly fills you with joy. You know that he said it platonically, but you for sure didn’t. You honestly don’t mind it being a one-sided love. It’s better this way for everyone. Well, everyone except for you. But you were at peace with it. You know that Taeyong simply can’t be with you; the repercussions are too extreme. But right now, he isn’t Taeyong, the leader of NCT. He’s Lee Taeyong, your childhood best friend and the man you’re completely and utterly in love with.

---

2 months later

---

Your life as a songwriter has been amazing for its first month. Your song was recorded with all of the boys singing it wonderfully; the head producer said the songs you wrote were some of NCT’s best.

You sit in a studio, laying some tracks over each other when you hear a knock at the door. The clear glass door shows the handsome features of Taeyong and you smile at him, stepping out of your chair to let him in.

He lifts up a plastic bag filled, two boxes of sushi inside. Your eyes light up as you walk with him to the couch inside of the studio.

“I got you your favorite,” he smiles while taking out a box for you.

“You know me so well,”

“Of course I do! I also know that you’re not going to be able to break these chopsticks evenly.”

Snap. Right as he says that, you broke your chopsticks, unevenly at the top. You stick your tongue out at him, giving him some sass.

“Okay you, you’re right but you didn’t have to be.”

He laughs, “I’m sorry. I just can’t resist. Anyway, how is the song-writing going? Are you giving Renjun any insane lines?”

You shake your head, “I’m actually just working on the beat for the rap track right now. Jaemin and Jeno have really increased their rap game from what I can remember. They can deal with something super complex.”

Taeyong nods, “Who would you say is your favorite rapper right now?”

“Between Jaemin and Jeno?”

“No, just in general.”

“NCT in general? Or in general, general?”

“In general, general! Y/N, stop bouncing around the question,” he whines slightly. You snicker. You know he’s trying to get you to say his name, but you won’t give him that satisfaction.

“Well, my favorite rapper right now has to be the rap god of NCT.”

“See! Was that so--”

“Yes, Mark Freaking Lee. Baby Lion really knows whats up.”

“O-Oh…” Taeyong suddenly finds his sushi really interesting as his gaze isn’t on you anymore.

You punch his arm, “Stop pouting dummy, of course I’m kidding. You’re my favorite rapper by default.”

His expression lights up, “Hehe, thank you.”

You both finish up the meal, happy and full. A chime goes off on your phone and you check it, your stomach drops. Even though it’s only your second month working for SM, other companies have noticed your work and they want you to work for them. SM gives you a pretty paycheck, but these other companies want to give you more. After they saw your work with NCT’s comeback, they want to see what else you can do. Other companies are offering you more money for your songs and you genuinely don’t know what to do.

“Tae, I have to tell you something.”

He knows that tone. He knows that you want to talk to him about something serious. “Let’s go for a walk.”

---

You walk outside, your breath coming out as puffs of clouds because of the cold air. Taeyong walks beside you, walking perfectly at your side.

You hide your head in your scarf, attempting to warm your cheeks, as you sigh.

“Yongie, JYP is offering me a job. They’re willing to pay me almost double what SM is paying me right now.”

Taeyong stops walking as you do too. “Y/N! That’s amazing!”

You sigh, “That’s the thing. I want to take it, but I love working for SM and more importantly, I love working with you.”

Taeyong sighs and places his hands on your shoulder, causing you to look up at him, “Look, distance has never been an issue with us. Whatever choice you make, you’ll make the right one. I’ll be by your side no matter what happens.”

“Yeah bu--”

“No! No buts. No matter what happens, we’ll be okay Y/N, I promise.”

You look up at him. You take in his beautiful face, something you’re so glad you can see it up close. You look at his big doe eyes, his angled nose and jawline that seem like they were sculpted by the gods themselves. You pay close attention to his lips that are formed in a slight pout. You never realized how soft his lips looked before. You question how they might feel against--

Woah. Where did that come from?

You sniff as the lump in your throat isn’t so tight anymore. You look back up to his eyes and nod. You know you’ll be happy with whatever you choose because you have him. He gives you a light hearted smile then he reaches for your cold hand, holding it in his warm ones. Your heart flutters, but you don’t question him. This is exactly the amount of comfort you need right now.

You guys continue your walk, hand in hand, his warmth reassuring you that everything will be okay.

Click. Click. Click.

---

3 months later

---

This all leads you here. That night, you were being reckless and you or Taeyong didn’t think about the repercussions. Taeyong walked you home that night and you woke up to your social media and your email and your texts all full beyond belief.

New SM employee already cozies up to NCT’S Leader, Lee Taeyong

“Who is this girl? She’s a nobody.”

“It finally makes sense how she got into SM! It’s all Taeyong’s doing!”

“I can’t believe someone is taking our Taeyong away from us! She’s not nearly good enough for him!”

“What does Taeyong see in a girl like her??? She’s not even pretty.”

You read all those comments and immediately shut down. You didn’t realize what had happened that night until you read who the source was from. Dispatch saw you and Taeyong that night and ran with the story. Your whole career and Taeyong’s career was ruined. Hyunzie ran into your room that morning, throwing your phone away from you. You cried. Because that one night, you were so reckless, you ruined your best friends career. You packed a bag then headed back to your hometown, you needed to be away from there for a while.

From that moment, you cut off all ties you had with Taeyong, not even talking to him after that event. You were only thinking for him. It’s better for everyone this way. You took the job with JYP and you have been working there ever since.

You moved back in with Hyunzie after everything died down a bit. She promised you that she wouldn’t let Taeyong in when he came, but it seemed that he didn’t want to see you either. He didn’t visit you after he learned you moved away. He was away on tour when you came back, so you knew you didn’t have to avoid him.

Except for now.

He just returned from tour and it brings you back here, he’s knocking at your door. God, of all the times Hyunzie chose to be with Sicheng, it had to be now. You’re weak, you open the door and he lets himself in as he hugs you. Your tears spilling into his shirt.

He holds you tight and he holds you close, seeming scared that you would float away from him if he let go. He holds the back of your head into his chest as he leans into your neck, crying himself.

“Y/N, why?” he sobs quietly. “What happened?”

You don’t answer. You quietly cry into his shirt. You don’t know why. You thought it would be best for everyone this way, but now, in his arms, you realize it wasn’t.

He breaks away from the hug and holds your face in his hands, his tear stained eyes staring into yours. You don’t think it’s possible for your heart to break anymore than it already has, but it does when you see his glossy eyes. He wipes the tears that spill from your eyes as he places his forehead against yours.

He whispers so softly, “Please, don’t leave me.”

Again, you don’t respond. You gently brush your lips against his and he returns your kiss. He kisses you slowly, your heart clenches. This moment is the sweetest you’ve ever had, but it’s equally the saddest. You’re finally doing the thing you’ve wanted to do for the longest time, but why does it hurt?

You break away from the kiss as he keeps his forehead on yours. You close your eyes, trying to savor the moment. You feel safe, you feel protected, you feel love.

You know none of this can’t last.

Those happy emotions you feel make everything so much worse. You know that he can’t stay. You know that it can’t be like this. You know that your heart will just break in the end.

He kisses you again, this time with more passion. It hurts, but you can’t stop.

“Y/N please, I’m sorry.”

“Prove it to me, then. Don’t stop kissing me.”

He doesn’t. He holds you so close because it’s almost as if he knows the second that he lets go, you let go too.

Your back hits your mattress, his lips still on yours. Clothes are shed, tears still fall. Your bodies mold as one as he proves to you, again and again, the extent of his love. You cry even more. You love him so much, but that’s why you can’t be with him.

When he holds you, when he kisses you, it’s the sweetest thing. That’s why it hurts the most.

The life of an idol isn’t one for you and you know that. It fits Taeyong well, which is why this is your last night with him. You love him so much, that’s why you can’t keep him. He was never your’s to keep.

You look over at his sleeping form, his bottom half covered by your covers. You lean over and kiss his head one more time before you stand up. You quietly pack up your bag then head out the door. JYP has a branch in Japan that they want you to head and you were on the fence about it.

Seeing Taeyong one more time helped you make up your mind. You leave a note for Hyunzie and send her a text. You found a last minute flight to Tokyo, you bought the last ticket, and you’re on your way.

You love Lee Taeyong too much to stay with him. Staying with him will only taint his image.

When he held you, when he kissed you, it was the sweetest thing.

But it’ll just have to live on in that memory.

---

i hate writing angst for this exact reason....

this is my first official angsty piece tho! i hope you guys liked it :)

it’s been a while but my writer’s block is finally gone! i’ll continue on with more fluffy pieces for this series :)))

anyway, this part may have a part 2? we’ll see the vibes of the lyrics

- amy <3

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