#YELLING AT THEM ISN'T HELPING

[americankimchi]

god i wish they hadn't retconned maul's death. i get wanting to explore more of his character because he was, objectively, one of the coolest star wars characters to ever hit the big screen and didn't get much screentime prior to his death, but also his role was fulfilled perfectly within those constraints so i wasn't too upset by it.

but by retconning it and making it so he never died it's like. okay. what now? the whole point (well, to me, ymmv of course) of the theed generator fight was that it was the first ever fight between the jedi and the sith in thousands of years, and that in the end even though the jedi (obi-wan) won the fight, a jedi (qui-gon) and a sith (maul) still died. a master and an apprentice dying together to herald the start of a new age/the return of the sith. perfectly paralleling the way in rotj a master (palps) and an apprentice (anakin/vader) died together to herald the return of the jedi. in both instances, a father figure (qui-gon/vader) dies in the arms of their son (obi-wan/luke) as a sith (palps/maul) is cast down into the abyss to their deaths. (palps being alive in the ST and retconning his death in rotj is also annoying for this reason)

i mean i like maul. don't get me wrong. he's an incredibly compelling character and i enjoy seeing more of him... but there's always the thought hovering in my mind like "he should be dead though. he should 100% be dead. this wouldn't be happening if he was dead, but i honestly would rather it not if it meant that maul was dead."

like the tpm fight just doesn't hit the same knowing that canonically he's just. going to become a robot octopus at some point. (shoutout to palps becoming sith glados in the ST) it cheapens the moment for me. it was supposed to be a moment of triumph marred by the deep and soul-crushing loss of a loved one and it's just... not, anymore. or at least not to the same extent. AUGH i'm just. frustrated. wish star wars as a whole wasn't constantly reframing/retconning what's been established. just puts a bad taste in my mouth.

#personal #star wars is HUGE #there's a GALAXY'S worth of stories to be told #and we're always for whatever reason focusing on this ONE PARTICULAR TIME PERIOD #it's suffocating #this is partly why i'm so excited to see the acolyte #it's a break from the skywalker saga #i love the skywalkers. i love the skywalker saga. #but that's also why i want them to STOP ADDING TO THEIR STORY #sometimes a story has a beginning middle and an end and that's okay! #that's fantastic! #we don't need to see between the lines! or behind the scenes! what if we just LEFT IT ALONE #AUGH #anyways. i don't know. i'm just frustrated with the state of star wars as a whole #it feels so claustrophobic right now. just because the space is there and undefined doesn't mean it needs to be filled #this constant push to canonize the years leading up to an event with content is so frustrating #negative space in an image isn't a bad thing it just helps guide the eye to what's most important #otherwise it gets too cluttered. too noisy. too DISTRACTING. #this was supposed to be about maul being alive but it's really about my ongoing grievances with how star wars is cannibalizing the movies #i'm tired of it........ tired i tell you #anyways that's all. real old man yells at cloud moment rn lmao

[jeweled-blue-eyes]

How do you think the Duke and Reynold and derrick would react if they saw og Penelope packing her suitcase and preparing to run away.

The Duke: could it be....that all this time i was the one tto hurt her...? 🥺

Derrick: Leaving? Absolutely not. Get in the cage.

#14 y/o Reynold would help Penelope smuggle the suitcase outside the mansion #grown up Reynold would believe she was only pretending to run away for attention #and would get nervous when she actually packs her things #would struggle internally with his pride until she has reached the gate that's when he would run after her and yank on her arm #and yell insults at her/asking her who offended her/tell her she isn't gonna be able to survive alone #call her ungrateful of the kindness his family has shown her #very emotional scene where both of them would explode #vadd #answered asks #anon

[kindnessoverperfection]

I've found that, when interacting with others (or myself), it's useful to consider the lessons I'd want to teach a growing child.

If a child makes a mistake, I wouldn't want them to feel shame. I wouldn't yell at them, humiliate them, or in any way indicate to them that their mistake is a reflection of their worth or of who they are as a person.

Instead, I'd want them to associate the process with love and joy. If they say something that hurts someone's feelings, or otherwise ostracizes someone in some way, I'd compassionately explain to them. Ideally, they'd walk away knowing why they said / did it in the first place, how to handle similar situations in the future, and would accept the consequences (e.g. if a friend no longer wanted to hang out with them).

While the consequences may sometimes be painful, I'd do my best to instill in them that mistakes are human and natural, and that the process of learning from these mistakes is an opportunity to improve connections with others and express love.

I have a tendency towards excessive guilt. Memories in which I've said / done something ignorant or hurtful are infused with this guilt and shame- but ideally, I'd feel a sense of love and peace, and perhaps happiness, when looking back on them. Because they were moments of growth, moments I learned how to be more compassionate (even if the actual learning came years later).

So I'll put this out into the void:

When you make a mistake, that is not a reflection of you as a person. It is a moment in time, a moment which was informed by your past experiences. Humans are not static labels, or monsters in an RPG game. We are social creatures who live and learn and react and grow and experience and love. Be gentle with yourself and move forward knowing you're doing so in accordance with your values.

#parenting #internet culture #self compassion #i'd also want to teach them critical thought of course - there are varying ideas of what constitutes mistakes or ignorance or harm #and that's a messy subject which is often a challenge to teach and is beyond the scope of this post but it's important #to avoid being subject to manipulation or becoming reactionary #but anyways #to clarify something in the tags here: it's okay of course to feel bad. that's a normal response. but it's not necessary. and a culture of #shaming people for their mistakes isn't helpful in the same ways it isn't helpful to do that to a child. people become defensive and/or #self-hating. divisive and reactionary and more easily manipulated. fearful and ashamed and avoidant. afraid of disagreements or of trying #anything new. increased all-or-nothing thinking and blowing things out of proportion. it just doesn't help in the long run #sometimes when someone says something i want to express hatred and mockery towards; i think of my trans friend who's full of light and love #and compassion. who came from a smaller more conservative community and used to have some of those same stances (and may still hold some of #those feelings/anxieties). and i remember that i can be firm on my boundaries and spread love and acceptance and safety *without* spewing #vitriol at anyone who makes even a minor mistake. i want people who were impacted by oppression and bias to have space to grow and #find safe communities and be able to think for themselves. i dont want to push them away or be another person in their life screaming at #them. there's always a person behind the screen. #like that doesnt mean i have to interact with them. in fact in most cases it's better to step away. and there are still unsafe people out #there- but yelling at them won't do any good either. saw a tip to focus on the people you want to help rather than the opposition #and that's been super helpful for me

[bumblingbabooshka]

Everything’s alright...

#[REDACTED] family shenanigans #Sek #Sveyko #S'veyk #T'Meni #S'veyk had a nightmare and T'Meni was like 'daddy will help!' #T'Meni is S'veyk & Sveyko's pacemaker for how to interact normally with the adults around them #through T'Meni they learn that Sek isn't scary and won't become angry with them about anything...safe person~ #<- they learn this bc T'Meni is much more demanding and outspoken than either of them and she doesn't get yelled at or punished for it #and also T'Meni often wants to be around her parents rather than doing everything in her power to avoid them #with Sveyko and S'veyk in the house T'Meni becomes more compassionate and eager to help others...takes up an almost older sibling/leader #role despite being younger #the twins were given bonnets but don't wear them and Sek doesn't feel it's an issue worth forcing #picturing S'veyk and Sveyko going to bed feeling completely at ease for the first time they can remember... #bea art tag #though this is more of a loose style

[turianosauruswrex]

y'all know those times when you hit that point in an evil run of a game where you go "actually, I don't know if I can do this"?

#karlach and wyll both yelled at me earlier 😭 #i was trying to play isobel's murder as a really uncontrollable durge impulse #because elegy's been doing a lot of good things lately it'd make sense thos would be harder to resist #but the DISAPPOINTMENT #the ANGER #on BOTH OF THEM #you can literally beg karlach to help you and that's kind of the vibe i've been going for with elegy #terrified and wanting so badly to be good but she can't do it on her own #and karlach says ''i don't know if i can'' and that BROKE me #anyways if you kill isobel you don't get the scene where you have to stop yourself from killing your li #so i reloaded lol #texts from the void #vex plays bg3 #(there have been two other times i have felt this) #(mass effect 3 sabotaging the genophage cure) #(fnv selling arcade to caesar) #(the thing is is elegy isn't even an evil durge she's resisting. the evil one is PER) #(it's not like her relationships were irreparably damaged either some how we could carry on as normal) #(just with a giant fucking slayer monster tagging along) #(but the weight on my shoulders from disappointing karlach was too much)

[icharchivist]

god so emo about how they portrayed Cloud's development from the first reactor bombing to the second one

showing how much Barret wasn't trusting him the first time and wasn't too keen on trusting him the second time, but by the end of their escape, you can feel they actually became buddies this time

and Cloud who was so cold and genuinely keeping people at a distance being much more willing to joke a bit with them and feel like one of the gang

the fact just before the boss fight Barret really says he intends on all of them to coming home, and he smiles as he looks at Cloud to say "all of us", because he includes Cloud in it, he doesn't expect him to disappear like he feared Cloud would the first time (bc he was worrieeed).

And there's the way Cloud asks for money as a mercenary in both case. In the first bombing he's cold, and mean, and when he says he should be paid more money it's with disdain, a clear "i really don't want to be here" voice. But then the second time they joke around about how Cloud should give a smile to Marlene and not scare her this time and Cloud smiles a bit before going "if the price is right", and this time he's joking along, he doesn't actually mean it and everyone can feel it.

also the fact that the first time everytime Barret was talking about making Shinra pay, Cloud really acts uninterested and talks about how he needs a raise, but the second time the moment Shinra trapped them and Barret talks about making Shinra pay, Cloud immediately is on for it, he doesn't ask for money anymore it's personal.

In the OG Cloud, and his relationship with Barret, doesn't really change drastically in the two reactor bombings, but the remake really did something nice, and while i do think the build up is a bit too long, the fact it took a longer time to get to reactor five really help building their camaraderie

It's just so sweet and it's even more touching knowing what is going to happen real soon.

Just man, that's so good.

#when the remake is good it's SO good #and then when it's not i want to yell #but this? this??? this is so good #it's not like Barret isn't built on in the OG and all he already was this 'tough on the outside soft on the inside' personality #but the remake really get to show you more in depth how he lets people in and it's so sweet #i do think also that showing Cloud growing more invested in Avalanche thanks to the previous Jessie mission helped a lot too #but man. man!!! that's really good. #Also no commentary to make on Tifa because i'd say the emotional focus in this section is somewhere else for her #like she already is friend with both Cloud and Barret who are both people she cares deeply for #she helps nudging them both to a middle ground which is neat #she gets to be the one who has to think more about her complicated feelings about what they're doing #anyway. Also tbh i complained about too much padding from the first time i played #but turns out it doesn't feel /that/ bad when you don't get lost in the lamp section #who would have thought! #(maybe i'm just really too salty it made me wait for hours to get to Aerith again) #ichablogging ffviirg

[daz4i]

it's funny to me that bsd is usually publicly considered a series mostly enjoyed by young girls (probably bc of the whole pretty boys thing it has going on) but today in my beta the only other people in the room who already watched bsd were 3 adult men

#and whaddaya know..... i too am also an adult man. technically :/ #it was very funny tho one of them said ''i watched 3 seasons years ago and i didn't know until now they're based on real authors'' #and one of the other guys yelled from the other side of the room ''DID GREAT GATSBY NOT GIVE IT AWAY TO YOU.'' #it was nice tho that same guy was def more brutal in his criticism but he also stayed for a bit to talk to me abt the series :) #the third guy was generally just v sweet. he was one of those that helped ease my nerves before presenting aksjdfgh 😭 #idk i just found this p amusing. it's even funnier bc like. being a seinen it IS aimed at adult men isn't it. and yet!

[theood]

Haha lol I love going downstairs and getting yelled at every single time because the dogs go fucking crazy when I come down the steps and I can't do anything to fix that and it makes me want to die because I hate getting yelled at and I can't fix anyfhing and I can't stop the dogs from going fucking ballistic because I chose to go downstairs but god every single fucking bit of progress I makw goes doen the drain every single day amd i might as well just get back into one meal a day and maybe a drink a day because that minimizes the amount of times.im.down there amd minimizes ehen I'm getting yellwd at

#elias.zip #the dogs are too reactive to us coming downstairs but yelling isn't helping. i dont know how to stop that. its annoying sure but jsut fuckin #live with it i guess. youre the stupid fucking idiots who chose this house with none of its soundproofing and your dogs who lived in a trail #er with you for fucking years what do you expect i dont know stop yelling at me!!! stop yelling at me!!!! im small and little and i dont #like it. i don't like when adults raise their voices i don't like the sound of angry yelling i hate being here. im never going to grow up. #im goingto be 9 and trapped in my room forever and a brat and waste of space and a mistake and unplanned and a burden. i wish we never fuck #ing moved in with them. they should've stayed in Florida. They should've chose another place. i hatw it here i hate them. go live with my mo #ms sister or something leave us. i fucking hate everything. i hate living. i hate living here. never going to fucking escape bc im poor and #stupid and i should've gone to university and just left everyone and be forgtten about. im never going to make enough to save myself. i sho #uld just give up because nothing good ever fucking happens. everyone's going to be disappointed in me no matter what i do I can't ever #fucking make anyone in my family like me. im always lying. #whats the point anymore! i dont fucking know.

[finally-caught-up-on-critrole]

no look! look! sure we know asmodeus and hells and betrayer gods and the broad strokes of how this turns out. sure. but!! you see this guy in a dream and he’s about to get murdered, and you’re a paladin, jumping in front of people about to get murdered if you’re not sure it’s warranted is a little bit your whole deal. and you’re running around in this city at (socially) high level parties even though it’s the last thing you want to do and every minute you spend here reminds you why, and on top of that there’s something you can barely see much less understand threatening your city (because it’s still yours to protect, even if it’s not home). but you see a guy, and he registers as fiend, but divine sense is not detect evil, and especially if you rarely even hear about them fiend does not necessarily equate to evil- and even then, neither necessarily equate to the immediate threat (and honestly if you did run detect evil in a place like this. hm.), and even if you suspect things, there’s a guy and he’s dying and you can stop it- even if you suspect, there’s a person and they’re hurting and bleeding on the bed and you’re a paladin and a healer and whatever you think of gods and monsters and mages, you show a little kindness

#critical role #cr spoilers #exu calamity #exu cal 2 #i mean *yeah* there's so much more going on- there's So Much Going On #but everyone's yelling about Wizard Hubris(tm) and like. this isn't that #this whole chunk of it starts with Here's A Guy And I'm Gonna Help Him #and that's the shit of it all! we can point at these things and know how they feed into the end of an age #but it's not all Hubris(tm) and bad decisions and ambition #being kind here opened a door and whatever comes of that #it's not like being kind to a stranger who's hurting was the wrong thing to do #Even If you suspect (you the character.) what will come next #alright gotta move the sorting tags up front now lol #i think that's all my thoughts. it's 3am here lol i gotta sleep #yeah yeah i know fiends are pointedly Not Good in your typical dnd setting #but if you've never really interacted with them then like. it's just some guy. this one pinged as an insanely powerful Just Some Guy but. #prevailing attitude is the gods are Just Some Guys with a lot of power #blah blah wizard hubris yeah i know #regretting running my mouth is tomorrow me's problem lmao

[treesbian]

i am exhausted. just got yelled at for so so long to stop looking at and sharing what's happening in palestine. listen i know my self care is bad but that has nothing to do with me caring about palestine it'd be equally as bad if not worse if i didn't know the shit

#talk tag #my mom kept yelling at me telling me to stop posting 'hamas' shit #and she made it very clear she doesn't know the difference between hamas and palestine #she was talking about a hypothetical 'refugee from hamas' and how ofc she'd help them #but this is a 'holy war' and 'both sides are bad' #it isn't!! #i asked her how old she thought isreal was and she said it's at least 2000 #it is not. isreal didnt exist until 1948. #and then she talked about how in the bible isreal is the promised land to the jewish ppl #but im not sure thats right. #and she said the usa was backing isreal bc of The Bible #but thats not why.... #it's so the usa can have someone in the middle east. #whatever. i should stop using facebook altogether tbh. except the messenger #but goddamn my mother is so so disinformed and acting like she knows better than i do. it is frustrating. #she's not willing to do her own research and she isn't willing to be educated either

[irisbaggins]

Trying to trouble-shoot a customer over a phone is always an exercise in "stick to Norwegian you gremlin" for me. I so badly want to use English lingo for things, but my poor customers barely understand what I'm saying in Norwegian, let alone English! The amount of times I end up apologising because my explanations are shit are numerous, and most of the time my customers are really nice about it.

Although, I do loathe having to trouble-shoot networking over the phone. It's a pain in the ass, and it's difficult to find the problem when there are so many moving parts to a network.

At least the customer and I can joke around a little and make the process more pleasant for the both of us. Especially when the problem may have been a wonky cable, and not something much more expensive that must be replaced.

#text_loke #he was really nice to me. we were talking SO LONG and i had to use hand signals to my coworker so he could take the physical customers #because i was on the phone. and for some reasons customers see me standing there with a headset on and assume i am therefore free #no!! i am on the phone!! i cannot talk to you ma'am please stop attempting to converse with me!! #some are nice about it. others get bitchy. like SORRY i have one ear on the phone i CANNOT listen to two people at once!! #anyway. hope it was the cable that was fucked! we would of course fix whatever issue it was if it ISN'T #but it's soooo much easier for him for it to be just the cable he made himself. 'cos fuck homemade cat6 cables #(which i say as someone who has made SEVERAL and hates the process furiously) #also. shoutout to the customer who gave me 10/10 and said we were COOL PEOPLE in all caps :) #made my day that. like thank you!! i do my best to give the best customer service!! #and i only had ONE person call me today to be a glorified website :) usually it's at least three people :) #like we have a click and collect for a reason. i am NOT that. i can trouble shoot and help fix. i am not a website #also. why am i cursed. why am i cursed to be swarmed by people when i'm alone?? #at least at my current workplace i am not harassed for being on my own. people are actually nice #they don't go ballistic on me when it takes me a but to get to them due to the tasks i am made to do #i don't get yelled at every shift. which is lovely :) #anyway. time for sleeps because i must write 3k tomorrow for my exam. rip

[david-watts]

gonna kill myself in the most violent way possible

#I want to die. I just want to die #she's perfectly happy outright lying to my face now #saying that I'm not at university for eight hours a day. that I spend most of my time laying on my bed 'playing games' #like I only play for an hour. maybe two. when I get home. #y'know! at an hour where she won't let anyone do any work because SHE'S going to bed soon #and her schedule trumps all else #I'm not allowed to point out to her that I mostly see her sitting watching fucking netflix all day because 'she doesn't do that' #the truth is. I'm too depressed to do much and she's not telling us about anything she wants done #and then goes ballistic at us because we haven't done them #I hope she stresses herself into an actual heart attack because she does everything herself so she can yell at us for not helping her #like the first thing we know about it isn't her coming in and screaming at us for not helping #I know that's a horrid thing to say but she's being awful #she didn't like it when I said she was acting like an entitled five year old

[exrayspex]

my parents really did get a dog that screams so loud it is physically painful every time someone cries, and then get mad at me for "upsetting the dog" when, shockingly, i cry sometimes and can't just stop on command.

love it. it's not like they could, i dunno, let the dog out into the yard? ask me what's wrong or express any kind of care instead of just admonishing me and demanding i stop crying immediately?

#i fucking hate my life #telling me to leave the room isn't helpful! walking is hard for me normally and crying/being upset makes me weaker and walking harder! #if i say i can't walk right now then i can't walk right now! #you know who can go to another room or even outside tho? the dog! the dog that is screaming and making it impossible for me to calm down! #put her somewhere else! #anyway between the initial upset and the dog screaming for ages and them yelling at me i ended up straight up screaming in distress #like a lot #and they have ensured i feel like an inhuman monster and an animal abuser for it.

[bumblingbabooshka]

‘tis i, nonbinary transfem tuvok enthusiast and recently i’ve been pondering the dynamic between her and transmasc b’elanna torres��. i love thinking of them having long conversations together about gender and cultural histories and their life paths and mental issues (real)

also tuvok’s quote of “there is nothing wrong in choosing to live” would be such an emotional statement to tell b’elanna who canonically has depression (they just like me fr). anyways these are my thoughts today take care my friend!! <3

I don't personally see Tuvok as being a positive person for B'Elanna to talk to about much of anything personal without like, some sort of change to how they interact with one another since I think he'd both intentionally and unintentionally antagonize her BUT I can absolutely see them looking at each other and feeling the gender envy even before they know what that particular sensation is. Knowing B'Elanna I bet she'd worry she has some kind of weird crush on him hehehe~ Someone starts a group for queer members of the crew to meet but it seems like more of a dating thing and they're all human and no one else is trans so B'Elanna leaves and runs into Tuvok and is like "Oh! I didn't see you in there." because it's common knowledge by this point that Tuvok's trans but Tuvok just does that 'obviously.' look and goes "...No." so B'Elanna leaves her alone but they happen to run into each other next week and the week after and it eventually becomes an unofficial thing and it's a real rollercoaster. It's a real russian roulette of what kind of a time you're gonna have - sometimes it ends in a fight and sometimes it ends in the most insightful realization you'll ever have. Such is life on Voyager... Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day too~!!

#I see many people cite that episode where he taught her meditation as them getting along but I think he 1000% failed to be helpful at all #and mainly just reluctantly and impatiently taught her how to meditate while sort of insulting her - B'Elanna taking his lessons to heart #is really all on her v_v #Tuvok isn't exactly the kindest person in the world ... yet he cares about people. Complicated man v_v He'll stay up for two weeks straight #trying to rescue you and then make a crack at how he thinks Klingons are barbaric ... honestly I'd say B'Elanna should yell at him but I #think he'd just go 'ah...my point proven. v_v' BUT I DO. THINK THEY'RE SUCH AN INTERESTING POTENTIAL PAIR?? #Not romantically - I mean pair of characters together bc they have SO MANY SIMILARITIES !!!! It's INSANE!!! #they truly deserved a character development 'getting closer' episode #honestly maybe this gender thing would do it...hehe maybe they'd finally have to talk it out bc they're the only other person o nthe ship #who'd understand....the power of being trans~!! #I hope this doesn't come off as negative - I liked this ask and I like Tuvok <3 #+ comforting things don't have to be in line with canon...nor is my interpretation of canon the be all end all #+ transmasc B'Elanna...embrace your short king swag <3<3 #this post is half inspired by my friend inviting me to join my school's GSA in middle school and me saying yeah absolutely! #then running away when their back was turned v_v SORRY #I really do hope this doesn't come off negative or rude - I don't want people thinking I'm gonna be rude if they share their thoughts #and headcanons with me =_= but I have trouble with tone... #Q&A #anon

[ghoul-wizard]

Ghmnng.

#having it be verified that the one time i lost my composure and yelled #did in fact piss everyone off and make them mad at me for the following weeks #really isn't helping the anxiety ngl #trying constantly to control my mood and temper and as soon as i get too stressed and snap #I've ruined it and they told me i ruined it #i know i can do better im just so fucking exhausted from constantly doing better

[the-yearning-astronaut]

Holy fuck you couldn't cut the moody tension in my household with a knife rn...

#jfc i feel like if i say or do anything someone's gonna lose their shit on me #mom's already gotten after me for not putting my laundry away immediately after she told me to #then got after me again for it even after i had already put the laundry away #dad's yelling at the internet providers recorded menu (again) #my mom's voice has an edge to it the sounds like Breakdown Imminent #i don't want to be here right now i don't want to fuckin exist rn i just want to be Void #i hate being stuck here i hate that the only place i have to retreat to is 400sqft in the basement #i hate that i cant leave so much as a thing out upstairs when mom goes on a cleaning binge #everything i have has to be out of sight and every surface has to be Clean #and heavenforfuckingbid i clean something but not to her standards or i wont hear the end of it #i fuckin hate the holidays because it means mom expects the house to be Hallmark card perfect #and she makes everyone miserable (including herself) to make it that way #who hires a fuckin carpet cleaning service the week of Thanksgiving? my mother that's who #and ofc the floors have to be CLEAN for the carpet guys to come clean them #and then she's all huffy that i work tomorrow and Wednesday and that i cant be home to help her cook and clean #and im gonna fuckin lose it this week i can tell #especially since the main elevator at work is busted and we have to haul all our demo shit from the first floor up to the third #and i just really really dont want to exist rn #fox isn't doing well #fox thoughts