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myhairpintrigger · 11 months

Note

hellooo i would like to request something <33

basically hanahaki disease w/ Aleksander? when alina arrived at the little palace, reader had been coughing and Aleksander noticed then reader found out that she was coughing petals and eventually got to know it was a disease with the help of some of the plant expert grishas i guess perhaps the healers? then reader starts to distance herself from Aleksander so he wouldn't know but he eventually found out because one of the grisha witnessed one of reader's coughing session and maybe an angst to fluff fic 👉👈

first of all, i am so sorry.. she's a long one... this has been tentatively proofread so i apologise for any grammar or spelling errors. this is my first time writing this trope so i hope it will do alright. thank u for ur beautiful req, my lovely anon, i love u!

warnings: hanahaki disease, blood, vomiting, aleksander is an idiot here lowkey.

word count: 11.9k

To Love Another & Be Loved (aleksander morozova x fem!reader)

The Sun Summoner had to be one of the nicest people you’d met in your entire life.

You wanted to dislike her, after all, she was the center of Aleksander’s attention almost all of the time. Not even the scraps of his time had been reserved for you as of late.

But you simply couldn’t hate her. She was nothing but kind to you. You spent much of your time with her, anyway. You were the only other Tailor besides Genya and often helped her ready herself for important things when Genya was tending to the Queen. At first, your service to her was only out of obligation to Aleksander. After all, he was your best friend and he fought the King constantly to keep you away from the Grand Palace. The least you could do was help a bit. Surely it would be temporary.

You sat in Alina’s room with her and you focused hard on twisting her hair up and braiding little bits of it to create an elaborate updo. She was to have dinner with the King and Queen and the Prince that night along with Aleksander. You wordlessly pinned up a thin, tiny braid and Alina sighed.

“At what point does this all just… stop?” She asked warily and you eyed her through the mirror she sat in front of.

You raised an eyebrow and shook your head, “What do you mean?” You questioned and flickered your eyes back on her hair.

“Just… the showiness of it all. When do I become a person with capabilities rather than a spectacle?”

“Likely never.” You replied with a frown and you met her eyes in the mirror, “But that shouldn’t discourage you. Be the best damn spectacle this country has seen.”

Her shoulders squared a bit and she seemed to at least somewhat like what you had to say. You smiled and went back to her hair, your fingers deftly weaving braids and little twists together for a while longer. You sat back after some time and then placed a few decorative pins in her hair, giving her an approving smile.

“Lovely. I’m sure the royal family will just eat you up.” You teased and rose from the stool you sat on.

“I’m sure Aleksander won’t like that.” She countered playfully and the smile slowly faded from your face.

You blinked in surprise a few times and then let out an uneasy chuckle, “So he’s told you his name?”

You didn’t know why it bothered you. But it did.

Alina nodded and she slid on her kefta and buttoned it up while she hummed. You eyed her and bit down on the inside of your cheek. It was black, of course. You glanced down at your own kefta and smoothed it down almost self-consciously. You wore a red kefta that was intricately embroidered with blue threads, and you’d never been disappointed in it until now.

Why not dress her in gold? You asked silently as you stared at her and you felt that same bitter twinge of jealousy you’d felt ever since she came to the Little Palace. Furthermore, the little sparkle in her eyes when she said his name didn't go unnoticed by you.

“Yes, is it not very common knowledge?” She asked once she finished buttoning up her clothes and you shook your head.

You opened your mouth to speak but a knock on the door cut you off. You took this as an opportunity to end this conversation before it made you more upset and you hurried to the door. You opened it up and you were instantly met by a familiar pair of dark eyes. A little weight was lifted from your chest and you smiled up at Aleksander who gave you a smile right back.

“I figured you’d still be here.” He remarked and leaned down to press a chaste and polite kiss on your cheek. Your skin felt warm and tingly where his lips had made contact and as he pulled away, you prayed he didn’t see the way your face was flushing.

“It probably wouldn’t have taken so long if Alina didn’t have so much hair.” You noted and then tucked a piece of your own back behind your ear, “I haven’t seen much of you recently.” You remarked, trying your best to keep your tone casual.

Aleksander clasped his hands behind his back and he gave you a wide smile, “Well, as you know, I’ve been very busy. Join me for tea tomorrow afternoon, I would love to catch up with you.” He said earnestly and you felt a tug in your chest.

“Of course. Tea sounds wonderful.” You replied, and watched as his eyes shifted over your shoulder.

The look on his face made your own smile falter. His eyes were fixed on Alina who stood behind you and his smile had turned into an awestruck expression, his eyes softening in ways they didn’t even soften for you.

“Miss Starkov, you look dazzling.” He commented and you suddenly felt very small, standing in the middle of them.

Her shy giggle sent a gravelly itch up your throat and you blinked a few times, trying to fight back a cough.

She thanked him and said something else, but you didn’t hear it because a dry, gritty cough came tearing up through your throat. You held your hands over your mouth frantically and doubled over. You felt a hand on your back and slowly you straightened yourself back up and gasped for air, the coughs ceasing.

“Are you alright? Would you like a bit of water?” You heard Alina ask and you shook your head, shifting your eyes downwards.

“What was that? Did you choke on a fly?” Aleksander asked with an amused little chuckle. You gave him a terse laugh in response and felt your throat burn again. Another much smaller and shorter cough reverberated through your chest and you held your hands tightly over your mouth. A warm, wet feeling coated your palms and your face paled.

Once you recovered you frantically balled your hands up in fists and lowered them to your sides, clearing your throat, “I’m not sure where that came from. I think I’ll go make some tea. Have a lovely dinner.” You murmured hoarsely and scurried past Aleksander, not bothering to look back at them. You made it halfway down the hallway before you slowly unfurled your hands and held them up so that you could see your palms.

They were sporadically coated in blood.

“You don’t have a cold, y/n. Perhaps it’s just the dry air. Winter is upon us.” Genya stated as she stirred a sugar cube into her tea.

You looked over your shoulder and expected to see Aleksander any time now and then you turned back to Genya with a shrug.

“I don’t know what else it could be. I can’t stop coughing.” You replied, leaving out the part where most of your coughs dragged blood up from your throat.

She hummed and took a sip of her tea before shaking her head, “No. Grisha don’t get sick, lovely. You can’t have a cold. Perhaps you’re allergic to something you’ve been smelling or using or eating. Anything new in your diet? Perfumes? Lotions?” She pressed and you shook your head, “Well, then I’m not sure what to tell you. See a Healer if you’re concerned about it but I’m telling you it’s likely the dry air.” She urged.

You looked down at your own tea and watched tendrils of steam climb the air above it. You let out a sigh and reached out to grab a sugar cube, when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You jumped and spun around, feeling instant relief when you saw that it was only Aleksander who had his hand on you. You sighed contently and leaned your cheek down against the back of his hand.

“Please, forgive me. I know I’m a bit late to tea. I just had a rather disappointing conversation with a few trackers.” He hummed and then pulled his hand away from your shoulder, leaving you with a certain kind of emptiness.

He slid into the chair next to you and grabbed your hand tightly, and you felt your heart beat a little bit faster. Genya must have heard it, because she smirked and quickly raised her teacup to her lips to hide it.

“You weren’t at breakfast this morning.” He commented and tapped your knuckles with the side of his thumb.

“I wasn’t feeling the best.” You drawled and looked up at his face. He didn’t seem overly concerned when you mentioned that you didn’t feel well, but he didn’t brush it off, either.

“Odd. Perhaps you should see my Healer.” He pressed and then he reached out and poured himself a cup of tea with his free hand before he released your hand.

You didn’t respond. Instead, you turned back to your own tea and took a sip of it, looking up at Genya who cleared her throat and stood up.

“Well. I’ll leave you two to it then. I’ve got to get back to the Queen.” She stated and gave you a small wave before scurrying off.

“Y/n. My Healer?” Aleksander pressed and you glanced up at him.

You gave him a polite shake of your head and you smiled, “No, it’s all okay. I feel much better now.” You insisted. And it was partially true. You did feel a bit better now that you had some tea.

You felt his onyx eyes on you as you turned back to your tea and before you could turn towards him, he reached up and brushed a bit of your hair back behind your ear.

“You look very tired.” He commented and frowned, letting his fingers linger against the side of your face for only a second before dropping them.

“I am tired. But I have a lot to do today. Besides, I’m getting fitted for my dress today. For the Fete.” You commented, trying to change the subject.

He hummed and then picked up his teacup, “What are you going to wear?” He asked curiously and he shifted his entire body towards you.

You looked over at him and slowly turned yourself to face him as well and you gave him a little smile, “Well, not red. That’s for sure. I picked something soft. Pink. A pretty pink dress.”

“Pink is a form of red.” Aleksander pointed out, an amused little smile forming on his perfect lips.

You giggled and then shook your head, reaching out to give his arm a very gentle smack, “Pink is a very nice color and even if it is red at the very core of it all, I will be wearing it.”

He rolled his eyes playfully and then he chuckled, “Determined little thing, aren’t you?” He asked and then set his teacup down, “I’m glad you’re coming. I was worried you would skip this Fete like you did last year.”

“Well, last year Vasily was all over me. And I hated it. Of course I didn’t go.” You remarked with a little snort. Aleksander laughed softly and shook his head, turning back to his tea.

You looked at him, your face softening. Everything about him seemed so… inviting in that moment. The way his hair was immaculately brushed back and curled around the back of his neck, the little curve of his lips as they stayed in their smile from your antics. His dark eyes shone with a rare light of humor and the light of the afternoon sun illuminated them perfectly as you stared at him from the side. He was so heartbreakingly beautiful.

And you wanted him so badly. You wanted to kiss him, you wanted him to hold you, you wanted him to look at you the way he’d looked at Alina the night before. You wanted to wear black with him and you wanted to be at his side during the Fete.

You were desperately in love with your best friend, and the worst part was that you could never tell him.

Your silence must have concerned him in some way, because he slowly turned to face you, the smile slowly vanishing from his face.

“Y/n, you look like you are about to cry, darling. What’s going on?” He asked softly and you shook your head a few times.

“N..nothing is wrong.” You lied and felt your throat begin to tingle with the familiar preceding another coughing fit, “I think I just need to go lie down. I feel… unwell.” You added, your voice getting weaker as you tried to keep a cough at bay.

“Please,” Aleksander began and slowly rose from his chair, “let me walk you to your room, my dear. You are starting to worry me a little bit, if I’m being perfectly honest with you.” He stated and held his arm out for you to take.

You reached up to grab his arm but instantly yanked your hands back and brought them to your face as you began to cough violently into your palms. The sharp, metallic taste of blood filled your mouth and you heaved forward on your chair, nearly falling off as you coughed. Aleksander’s strong hands caught your shoulders, and before you could protest, he was lifting you up into his arms.

“Alright. I’m going to take you to your room and then I’m going to send for a Healer. This isn’t natural. You shouldn’t be coughing like that.” He stated.

You held your hands over your mouth for a while longer as your coughs subsided and you blinked a few times. Once you were sure no more coughs were to come, you pulled your hands up into the sleeves of your kefta and you cleared your throat, wincing as it burned, “No, you don’t need to. I swear to the Saints it’s just allergies, Aleksander.” You said wheezily.

He looked down at your face and his brows furrowed together and he shook his head, “You have blood on your chin.” He commented and you gaped up at him.

You reached up and wiped your chin with the sleeve of your kefta and he simply shook his head. You closed your eyes exhaustedly and let him carry you the rest of the way to your room. Once he’d gotten you to your bedroom, he laid you out on your bed and frowned down at you.

“I’m sending a Healer up here. Don’t be stubborn, please let them help. I’d stay but I’m taking Alina riding. Promise me you will accept the help I send for you.” He said sternly and you opened your eyes.

You stared up at him, something snapping in your chest. He couldn’t even stay to make sure you were okay?

“That’s fine. I promise.” You said bitterly and then shook your head, “Have fun riding with Alina.”

You were sure he caught the bitterness in your tone, because he scowled slightly and then shook his head. He looked as if he might argue with you but instead he wordlessly turned on his heel and left your room, slamming your door behind him.

A brutal cough tore itself free from your chest and it sent you shooting up into a sitting position. You held your hands over your mouth to catch the droplets of blood that loosed themselves from your throat. Your throat burned as if you were swallowing acid and you miserably pulled your hands away from your mouth between coughs. You stared down at the blood in your hands and suddenly your stomach twisted. You launched yourself off of the bed and grabbed the waste bin that sat near your bed and you coughed violently into it until something sharp tore its way up through your throat and out of your mouth. You had to blink a few times before it registered what exactly sat in the once-empty waste bin; what exactly came out of your mouth. A small cluster of thorns lay in a thick puddle of your blood, and a cluster of bloody rose petals laid around it.

Your mouth hung agape as you stared down into the wastebasket and you pushed it away from you with a frightened yelp.

Something soft slid against your tongue and you reached up and shakily pulled a blood wetted rose petal off of your tongue, and it was the last thing you saw before your vision went black.

Something wet and cold mopped across your feverish forehead and you slowly opened your eyes. Someone’s hand moved back and forth in your line of sight and you heard a loud gasp before your hands were being clutched tightly. You cleared the fuzziness from your vision by blinking a handful of times and you slowly sat up a bit to see Genya standing over you with her hands clasping yours. A Healer stood at your bedside with a cloth in her hand and you looked back and forth between the two of them before you let out a raspy sigh.

“Y/n! Sweetheart! What is going on? Emilia found you this way. She said The Darkling sent her up here to you and that when she came in you were out cold on the floor.”

Emilia must have been the name of the Healer girl at your side and you looked over at her with a terse smile before you looked back at Genya. Her wide eyes were even wider with fear and you frowned, not wanting to have frightened her.

“I’m fine, I promise. It just must be aller-“

“It is not allergies!” Genya cut you off viciously and dropped your hand to point at the waste bin, “What kind of allergy has you throwing up… plants?” She demanded and you simply shrugged.

She exasperatedly squeezed the hand of yours that she still held and she frowned, “Emilia tried to heal you but couldn’t find anything wrong with you. Your lungs sound terrible but other than that, you’re healthy.” She said with worry lacing every word she spoke, “When The Darkling gets back from riding-“

You shook your head and held your hand up, “No. No we are not going to tell him a single thing, do you two understand me? You will tell him I am suffering allergies and will be fine in a week or two. I don’t want him around.” You said in a clipped tone.

Genya looked surprised when you said this but she didn’t protest. Instead, she comfortingly brushed her thumb across the back of your hand and let out a defeated little sigh, “Oh, honey. Are things that bad?”

You slowly looked up at Emilia and Genya did as well. Emilia looked between the two of you and she let out a little sigh.

“I’ll go get you some tea for your throat.” She said, excusing herself from the conversation that you so desperately wanted to keep private.

The moment the Healer left the room, you burst into tears. Your ragged breaths seemed to tear trenches into your throat as you cried and little coughs escaped your lips between sobs. You buried your face in your hands and barely noticed when Genya sat right next to you and wrapped her arm around your shoulder, pulling you against her side.

“Sweetheart, what happened? This afternoon you were all smiles for him.” She breathed and gently rubbed your arm, soothing your cries just slightly.

“Oh, Genya. I love him. I’m so very in love with him and he hardly gives me the time of day anymore. He speaks of Alina like she’s hung his entire sky. He looks at her like she’s more precious than jewels. He noticed I wasn’t feeling well, and he couldn’t even stay with me. He just tossed a healer at me and left to go with her. It hurts, Genya.” You cried, hiding your face against her shoulder.

The red haired girl stroked your hair and your back and your arm as you cried against her and at some point, reached out to grab the cool cloth Emilia had left behind. She gently dabbed it against your cheeks and the side of your neck and she frowned, letting you cry.

Your chest ached terribly at the idea that you loved your best friend who would never love you back, but it seemed to hurt more that you were all in all losing said best friend. Genya coaxed you down until your cheek was against her upper thigh and she ran her fingers through your hair, dabbing the cold cloth against your burning skin still.

“Things will work out the way they’re supposed to, honey.” Genya said softly, still trying to soothe you.

Tears rolled down your cheeks still, but your cries subsided for the most part. You exhaustedly closed your eyes and relaxed underneath the Tailor’s touch. You took painful, deep breaths and attempted to calm yourself. You laid in silence against Genya’s thigh for a long time, the only sounds being your sniffles and coughs and little whines. You desperately tried to clear your head of Aleksander, and nearly had, before your door swung open. You heard the handle smack against the wall, and heavy footsteps made their way across your floors. Aleksander. You laid still against Genya and prayed that he thought you were asleep.

“Emilia says it’s only allergies.” Genya said quietly and you felt her hand slow in your hair until it rested protectively against the crown of your head.

You heard him shuffle for a moment before he hummed, “She looks miserable.” He remarked.

He lifted his hand to touch your arm, but Genya shooed his hand away and shook her head.

“Let her sleep.” She murmured and you heard Aleksander snort.

“Well, according to my Healer, she’s been unconscious for three hours up until now. How is she sleeping again?” He asked and you could tell he didn’t believe you were asleep.

That didn’t stop you from pretending, still.

“Because she is feeling unwell. Why don’t you come and see her tomorrow morning?” Genya suggested and slowly began to drag her fingers through your hair again.

“I don’t want to see her tomorrow morning. I want to see her now.”

“I don’t think she wants to see you, moi soverenyi.” The Tailor countered.

The room was silent for a moment and then you heard the rustle of his kefta as he shifted in place. You bit the inside of your cheek, fighting back every desire inside of you that screamed for you to launch yourself into his arms. Maybe if you did, he would carry you like he had earlier. You wanted to scream how you loved him in his face and cry on his chest about how he was hurting you. But you stayed rooted in the bed.

“Mm, alright then. Let her know that she needn’t seek me out then. If she truly does not want to see me. I won’t bother her.” He said coldly and you felt your face screw up in despair.

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m only saying she likely doesn’t want to be bothered and roused from an already uncomfortable sleep just so you can ask her what I’ve already asked a hundred times. It’s just allergies. It happens with the turn of the seasons.” Genya explained calmly, her voice steady.

“I’ve known her for years now and she’s never had allergies at the turn of the seasons.” He stated.

“Well, that’s the only thing that it can be. The Healer said it herself. She’s perfectly healthy otherwise.” Genya insisted.

There was another long silence in the room and you could feel his near-black eyes boring into you, traveling your crumpled form. But he said nothing more. After a while, you heard his footsteps as he left the room and the door closed, much more carefully this time.

You didn’t dare open your eyes until Genya sighed and gently tapped the back of your head, “He’s not here, it’s okay.” She murmured and you slowly opened your eyes.

Another cry escaped your lips.

The next few days were absolutely miserable. You’d spent the first day and half in your room, and when Genya wasn’t waiting on you, you were alone. Aleksander didn’t come to see you once, and you came to accept that it was just going to be your new normal.

The first time you emerged from your bedroom in days was for dinner, and Genya held you tight to her side as she walked with you down to the dining hall. Normally, she didn’t eat with the other Grisha, but she had neglected many of her duties to the Queen to take care of you for the past two days.

Now, three days had passed since you had last seen- or heard, rather- Aleksander, and you sat out in the courtyard on the grass with Genya. The red haired girl had insisted that you needed sunlight and she sat and read under a tree with you while you laid your head in her lap. You could hardly speak, and when you did, your voice was raspy and quiet. Every now and then, the girl would look over her book to check on you, and each time she did, she’d give you a kind smile.

“Are you hungry?” She asked after a while and brought her hand up to your forehead to feel for your temperature.

You shook your head weakly and rubbed your cheek with the back of your hand, “I don’t have an appetite, admittedly.” You murmured and she clicked her tongue, but didn’t press the subject.

You tried your best to enjoy the cool breeze on your feverish cheeks, but you couldn’t seem to distract yourself from the pounding in your head and the raw burn in your throat.

“What are you reading?” You asked Genya absentmindedly and she hummed.

“Reading up on rare diseases. I found a few books that have information about sicknesses and accounts of Grisha becoming ill with certain ones. I thought maybe it would help us figure out what’s going on with you.” She stated and turned a page as if on cue.

A warm feeling tickled your nose and you felt it travel downwards until your skin was wet and you gasped and let out a curse. You sat up quickly and held your hand over your nose as it bled and you glanced down at the little bloody spot on Genya’s kefta.

“Saints. I’m so sorry. I’m such a mess.” You breathed and cupped your hands underneath your nose to catch the rapidly flowing blood.

The girl simply shook her head and pulled handkerchief out of her pocket and passed it to you, “Don’t be sorry. We can get the stain out easily.” She insisted, and you gratefully took the handkerchief from her and held it against your nose.

“Perhaps we should get you inside?” She suggested and you nodded once. You grabbed onto the tree with your free hand and balanced yourself as you rose to your feet. You felt winded as you stood and your throat began to prickle and you let out a groan that was cut short when you leaned forward and coughed viciously into the sleeve of your kefta. Little petals spewed out of your mouth as you coughed and got stuck with your blood onto the fabric of your sleeve, but you weren’t surprised anymore. Thorns and petals came along with the coughs now. At least now your nose had ceased its bleeding. You wiped your mouth with your sleeve and groaned in pain as you felt Genya touch your back.

“Oh, Saints. Hurry. Let’s go inside. The Darkling is out here.” She said in a hushed tone, and though you two tried to hurry into the palace, it seemed you weren’t fast enough, because Aleksander called your name.

You looked up at Genya worriedly and she took a glance at your face. Blood was smeared under your nose and on your chin and she let out a huff before she snatched the handkerchief from your hand and quickly cleaned up your face. She stuffed the soiled fabric into her pocket once more and you turned around just in time to see Aleksander approach you with Alina not far behind.

His kefta billowed like smoke behind him in the breeze and when he reached you, his face was nothing short of irritated and accusatory. His beautiful face was set in an angry grimace and his eyes were hard. You shied back slightly and felt Genya’s hand press encouragingly into your back.

“It must be rather fun ignoring me, since you’ve done it flawlessly for three days now.” He snapped and you looked down at your feet, biting down on the inside of your cheek.

“I haven’t felt well, I’m sorry.” You mumbled.

He snorted and reached out to grab your jaw, tilting your face up so that he could look down upon you, “That’s not an excuse. I don’t expect you to be prancing and frolicking around, but as someone who cares about you, I would at least like to be updated about your state.”

His words sent a shockwave of sadness through your chest and you frowned, your eyes watering. You blinked away your tears rapidly, refusing to cry in front of him and Alina. He let go of your face slowly and he shook his head.

“My dear, I worry about you, that’s all. I’m not truly angry, oh please don’t cry.” He said softly, his expression ridding itself of all anger as he watched your eyes gloss over with unshed tears.

You shifted your gaze over his shoulder and watched as Alina gently grabbed his arm and he subtly pulled her into his side. The action had you biting down on your cheek hard, a terrible cough fighting its way up your throat. You felt something sharp rise to the back of your throat and you shoved past all three of them to get inside of the palace, holding your hands over your mouth as you raced to your bedroom.

You were unsure of how you held it in for so long, but as soon as you got to your room, a violent retching sound ripped it’s way up through your chest and your throat and you fell to your knees and a slew of blood and petals came spewing out of your mouth. The heavy, sharp presence was still in the back of your throat and you coughed, and coughed, and coughed until you felt something shred the back of your throat and come loose. A rosebud tumbled from behind your lips, followed by a thick mixture of blood and saliva. You stared down at the sticky, bloody mess you had made all over your pale blue rug and you brought your shaky hands up to your clammy face, covering your mouth as you sobbed.

Your chest ached and burned as if you’d swallowed blades and you let out a shrill scream of frustration. You sunk down onto the floor even further and curled up into a ball, your cheek resting a bit too close to the sticky puddle of blood and floral matter. You were too exhausted to care. Everything hurt, nothing made sense. Every breath you took sent shards of glass sliding down your throat and you coughed again, bits of petals getting stuck to your bloodied lips. You slowly closed your eyes and shivered once, reaching down and holding your knees to your chest.

No one had followed you. Not even Aleksander. Even just thinking his name sent a pang of raw emotion through your chest and a few little tears rolled down your cheeks as you laid against the ruined carpets. Too busy with Alina. Too busy with everything. When did the busy excuses end? At what point did you need to accept that he didn’t love you as much as you loved him, and certainly not in the same way. You cursed yourself for thinking of him. Why were you thinking of him? He surely wasn’t thinking of you. You should have been thinking about why the hell you were sick.

But all you could think about was Aleksander.

You weren’t sure how or when, but at some point, you’d been moved up onto your bed and your blood-ruined dress had been switched out for a light, breathable nightgown. A hand dragged itself through your hair slowly and you almost thought you were imagining in your half-asleep state, until you heard voices.

“I don’t really care. I will remove someone from the frontlines if we must. I need a very, very good Healer and I need them promptly.”

You recognized Aleksander’s voice anywhere, and now that you were a bit more aware, you could tell that it was not Genya’s delicate little hand running through your hair.

It was his.

You kept your eyes closed and tried to enjoy the very minimally important action of his hand stroking your hair so gently.

“Then find someone. But I don’t think this is anything to worry about.”

That voice belonged to Genya, and you felt a sense of relief that she was still covering for you.

“Genya, do not give me excuses any longer. I know she is ill. To the extent and with what, I am unsure. But she is my dearest friend, and I will not be so easily deterred from finding a solution to her health.” He spoke quietly, as if he didn’t want to wake you and you felt your lip nearly wobble.

You didn’t know if you were joyful or devastated to hear him call you his friend. You longed for ignorance. You longed to think that he was here to confess his love for you, you wanted him to play with your hair like this for hours and hold you in his arms while you slept.

You wouldn’t get your wish, though.

“Sir, I think it would just be best to give her space.” Genya suggested quietly.

Aleksander’s hand stilled against your head and went rigid, “And why do you say that?” He asked coldly.

“Well, you just hardly… see her anymore. I think perhaps she’s a bit bothered by your neglect.”

“Has she told you this?”

“Yes.”

The room was silent and you wanted to sob as you felt his hand slowly leave your hair. You wanted to catch his wrist and bring it back, beg him to never let you go.

“Well, she always has been a bit of a jealous little thing. She’ll get over it. I’ll be back to check on her tomorrow sometime.” He said dismissively and you felt the bed move and assumed he had climbed off of it.

You waited until you heard him leave to open your eyes and you let out a long, ragged sigh. You felt the bed dip beside you and Genya was placing her hand against your forehead. She let out a little hum and then shook her head.

“You’re very lucky I managed to clean everything up before he came barging in here.” She said softly and reached down to grab your hand.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you blinked them away, shrugging.

“At some point we need to tell him what’s going on, Y/n.” She urged gently and then squeezed your hand as softly as possible.

You felt a little wave of gratefulness in your chest at Genya’s determined and dedicated presence and you squeezed her hand back, “Eventually.” You murmured and then closed your eyes again, still feeling exhausted.

“You sound terrible.” She noted and sat up against the headboard, resting her back against it. You very slowly rolled over and laid your head against her thigh and you sighed.

“You’re my best friend, Genya.” You murmured.

She let out a little sigh and she laid her hand on top of your head, “You really love him, don’t you?” She asked quietly.

You didn’t answer her at first. She knew the answer and so did you, but the moment you spoke it aloud, it became real and it became capable of ruining everything.

“Yes.” You finally answered in a squeak.

There was a silence that filled the air around the two of you and you felt her lean over the edge of the bed for a moment. When she settled back in her spot, she tapped your head very gently and cleared her throat.

“I found something. While you were sleeping.” She said almost nervously.

“What do you mean, ‘something’?” You asked and stared off at the wall ahead of you.

“I mean about your… condition.” She said quietly and you could hear her flipping through a book above you.

Finally, she laid the open book down in front of your face and you reached up with a shaking hand to grab it. You sat up slowly with a bit of her help and laid the book in your lap as you peered down at it. The pages were old and weathered but the drawings were clear as can be. Roses were sketched onto the page and you ran your fingers over the paper as you read the text next to it.

‘In extreme cases of unrequited love, the affected person will become sick with envy and begin to exhibit signs of serious illness…’

You blinked a few times and read through the recorded symptoms.

Every single one was something you were experiencing.

“No. Absolutely not.” You breathed and looked up at a frowning Genya.

“The symptoms are all there. This is what’s ailing you.” She said, her eyes growing watery.

“Genya-“

“I’ll spare you the heavy reading. There is no cure, not unless he confesses his true and honest love for you.”

You felt dread add itself to your already sore chest and you turned your head to look up at her.

“Oh.”

She brought her hands up and cupped your cheeks and she shook her head, “I swear, we won’t let you die. We will find a way. Me and Baghra, Saints, I’ll even tell Him-“

“You can’t tell him.” You whispered and looked up at her tearfully, “You have to swear to me that you will not tell him. Genya, I’m begging you. Let him just… let him be happy with his Sun Summoner. He’ll forget about me, he’s already beginning to.” You said and sniffled, reaching up to wipe your eyes.

Tears were falling down the redhead’s cheeks now and she shook her head, “No, this isn’t how it ends.” She said sternly and wiped her own eyes with the backs of her hands after she lowered them from your face.

You leaned your head against her shoulder and closed your eyes, “I’m so tired.” You whispered, feeling exhaustion course through your body at a rapid rate.

“Sleep, sweetheart. Please. I’ll stay here with you until morning.” Genya promised and you nodded.

She helped you lay back onto the pillow behind you and she tucked the comforter around your shoulders before feeling your forehead once again.

“Thank you for being so good to me.” You whispered and she gave you a heartbreakingly sad smile.

“What are friends for?”

The next morning was excruciating. A terrible coughing fit roused you from your sleep and you’d- yet again- made a bloody, flowery mess all over. This time, you helped Genya clean the mess up despite her protests. Once she’d helped you clean up, she announced that she had a hot bath drawn for you.

You followed her into your bathroom and pulled your clothes off before you stepped into the hot water and let out a long, relieved sigh as you sunk down into it and sat.

“I need to go tend to the Queen for a little while. I shouldn’t be too long. Will you be okay if I leave for just a few hours? If you need anything, I’ve already informed Baghra of your condition, you can go find her.” She explained and then gave you a little smile.

“You’ve been busy this morning.” You commented and she shrugged.

“Well, I’m just making sure you’ll be alright while we figure this all out.” She said softly and patted your head a few times, “Well, off I go. Please, please be careful. And if you have a coughing fit, do it over the tub. We can drain the water easily.” She said, half joking.

You bid her farewell and she left your room and you sank deeper into the water, letting it soothe your sore muscles, though it didn’t do much for your stinging throat and aching chest. You brought a hand to your forehead and you felt a wave of melancholia drag you down.

There was really no way that you were going to get out of this alive. It wasn’t like Aleksander was going to burst in on his knees and confess that he’d loved you the entire time, and you highly doubted that if a Healer couldn’t help you, then you were beyond help. You rubbed your temples very slowly and let out a very long, exasperated sigh, which triggered a few coughs. Little droplets of blood flew forward into the water from your mouth and you winced as a few petals loosed themselves from your throat as well. They floated atop the hot water and you picked one of the soft, pink petals up tentatively. It looked like a rose petal. It was a rose petal. You were grateful that it was only a few soft petals this time rather than the thorns and stems you’d cough up other times. You dropped the petal back in the water and you laid your head back against the edge of the bathtub weakly.

Your chin wobbled slightly and you closed your eyes just as tears started to stream out of them. You soundlessly cried as you sat in the steaming water and you reached up to hold your hands over your face as you cried. Soon enough, your cries were no longer soundless and you sobbed into your hands. Your whole entire body hurt and you were in agony. Emotional and physical agony. You wished for it all to stop and you pulled your hands away from your face and gripped the edges of the tub as you continued to cry with your eyes squeezed shut in pain.

Your mind wandered to Aleksander, something it often did, and you gasped painfully. You could practically feel his fingers running through your hair again, and you pictured what it would have been like if he had gathered you in his slender arms instead of just messing with your hair. The thought brought you a split second of comfort before it brought on waves of pain, crashing against your chest like rogue waves in a tumultuous ocean.

Oh, you loved him. You couldn’t just stop loving him. Even though you sat and wished so desperately that you could. You gripped the edges of the tub impossibly tight and sputtered out a few heavy coughs that left your chest feeling split open. Your bathwater was tinged pink now and there was an arrangement of fragmented and full rose petals floating around in the water.

A little tap made you open your eyes and you looked up to see Aleksander standing in the doorway of your bathroom. You made a move to cover yourself but he simply shook his head.

“I’m not looking, it’s okay.” He stated, staying in the doorway.

You glanced away from him sadly and you gave him a nod. You heard his boots tap against the marble floor and you heard a bit of rustling before you turned your head towards him again to see that he was now kneeling at the side of your tub.

“You look terrible. Really, really terrible.” He commented.

“Thanks. You really know how to make someone feel great, Aleksander.” You snapped and narrowed your eyes at him.

He let out a sigh and shook his head a few times, “You’re still lovely. You just look miserable. Have you looked in a mirror recently? You look malnourished, you look poorly rested. Your face is sunken, your eyes are lifeless, you look terrible.” He explained and you laid your head down on the edge of the tub.

“I’ll be fine.” You said nonchalantly.

“Yeah, you all keep trying to tell me that but I don’t believe it all that much. Look at you. You can’t even move without it looking like it’s causing you pain.”

“What do you care?” You asked and closed your eyes, biting back a sob.

“What do I care? What do I care? Are you an imbecile? I care more than you seem to even care to imagine!” He snapped angrily and stood up abruptly.

“Whatever. I know you’d rather be with your Sun Summoner right now. Please just go.”

“Saints, you’re such a bitter thing! You knew what the Sun Summoner coming here would mean. You know what it does mean. Get over yourself, this is bigger than you and your need for attention!” He exclaimed.

Though he hadn’t, you felt as if he’d lifted you to your feet and slapped you until you fell. You slowly opened your eyes and looked up at him. Your eyes grew glossy with tears and you bit down on your cheek before you shifted your eyes away from a seething Aleksander.

“Please just go away.” You whimpered and brought your hands up to your face, hiding it from his sight.

You cried silently for a moment and you rubbed your eyes vigorously before lifting your head out of your hands to tell him once more to leave.

But he was already gone.

The week leading up to the winter fete was exhausting.

Not that you had been doing much other than laying around in your room and taking brief walks whenever Genya had a moment to accompany you outside.

Nothing had improved though.

You were still weak, still coughing, still in pain. Nothing was better, in fact, it seemed to only worsen by the day.

The day of the fete was upon you and you had argued with Genya for nearly two hours so that she’d let you go. Finally, she had conceded and told you that you could go as long as you left early and were very, very careful not to cough around anyone.

“And if you start feeling worse, you’re going right back to bed. Do you understand me?” Genya asked critically as she held a big, white box to her chest. Your dress. She was holding it hostage until you agreed to her terms.

“Yes, fine, anything! I’ve waited so long to go.” You weren’t sure why you were so excited to go to the fete. You had previously been excited to go because you’d be going with Aleksander, but of course, that wasn’t the case now. You hadn’t seen him in nearly a week. Genya told you he’d been in to check on you while you slept, but you doubted it. You doubted a lot when it came to Aleksander these last seven days.

Genya set the box down on a small table near the fireplace in your room and she opened it up, humming softly to herself as she did, “Pink? I didn’t pin you as a pink girl.”

“Well, I am one. And it’s pretty, isn’t it?” You asked and watched as she pulled the gown out from the box.

It was beautiful. It was a pale shade of blush pink with long sleeves and lots of beautiful embroidery and bead work. The dress earned you an approving sound from Genya and she looked over at you as you sat on the edge of your bed.

“It is pretty, yes. I’m a bit worried you’ll stain it.” She said and eyed you with a frown, “Are you sure you want to go? You’re still so sick. Worse, even.” She said with a frown as she walked towards you and laid the dress out on the bed at your side.

“I want to go. We can go together. Besides, I’ve been stuck in here for so long now.” You said, sighing dramatically. Your throat burned with your sigh and Genya watched as you brought your fingers to your throat.

She quickly grabbed the waste bin next to your bed and held it up to you and you grabbed it. You coughed over it painfully for a few minutes, an array of petals and a few small thorns freeing themselves from your inflicted lungs. Genya held her hand against your back comfortingly and waited for you to spit the last of the sticky blood out and then she gently took the waste bin from your hands. She passed you a glass of water from your bedside table and you sipped it, even though it felt like you were swallowing broken glass.

“Y/n, you look awful.” Genya said sadly and pushed some of your limp hair away from your face.

You knew she was right. Your entire face had sunken in and you were aware of the dark circles under your eyes. Any luster your hair or skin once had was now gone and you looked dull and lifeless. You looked almost like a walking corpse. Your nails were thin and brittle and your lips were chapped and had traces of dried blood on them. You did look awful.

Realistically, you could use your abilities and make yourself look better, but you had absolutely no energy to do so. You were lucky if you had the energy to get up and take a walk with Genya. You sighed quietly and wiped your lips with the back of your hand and shrugged once. You shakily passed the glass of water back to Genya and you rubbed your eyes.

“Will you help me get ready? Nothing fancy, I just don’t wanna look so unhealthy.” You asked quietly and she nodded a couple of times.

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead and then offered her hands down towards you. You accepted them gratefully and pulled yourself to your feet with her help and she passed you your dress.

“Go change, I’ll help you button up.” She prompted and you took the dress from her and wandered off towards the dressing screen in the corner of your room.

You slid behind it and undressed yourself with weak, shaking hands, and you pushed your nightdress off of your body. You tossed it aside and then took on the next task of stepping into the soft pink gown. You climbed into the dress clumsily and once you’d pulled the sleeves on and gotten it situated on your body, you wandered out from behind the screen. Genya awaited you by your bed and you made your way over to her and turned around so that the undone back of your dress faced her.

“You need to promise me one more thing.” Genya said quietly as she began to button up your dress nimbly.

“What is it?” You asked, looking back over your shoulder at the redheaded girl.

“Avoid the Darkling at all costs tonight please. Your condition worsens after he’s around, I’ve seen it. Please just, don’t seek him out, stay away from him. Have fun, mingle, have a drink, but leave him alone. For your sake, please.” She begged softly and then finished buttoning your dress.

You nodded compliantly and you ran your hands down the front of your dress, smoothing it all down before turning around to face her. You smiled up at her and she pointed at a chair in the middle of the room.

“Sit. I’ll fix up your hair and make you look a little less tired.” She said softly and you walked towards the chair. You sat down in it and you closed your eyes, a prickling becoming bothersome at the back of your throat. You swallowed it down and winced at the sharp pain sliding back down your throat.

You just had to get through tonight.

Genya stood behind you and she worked at your hair for a while until it was in simple waves. She then walked around to face you and she determinedly waved her hand over your face a few times slowly. After nearly fifteen minutes of this, she pulled away from you and handed you a hand mirror.

“I did all that I could. How do you feel about it?” She asked.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror and hummed. Though you still looked frail, you didn’t look nearly even half as bad as you had beforehand. You looked as if perhaps you hadn't slept in a few days but otherwise you seemed healthy. You looked up at her with a smile and you nodded, passing the mirror back to her.

“Thank you. Truly, thank you.” You said softly and she gave you a sweet smile in return and kissed the top of your head.

“I have to help the Queen get ready. Will you wait for me? I’ll come back and accompany you to the party.”

You looked over at her and gave her a little nod and stood up from the chair you sat in. You gave your friend a little hug and she hugged you back delicately, as if she was afraid you’d break.

“Thank you. Really, Genya. For everything.”

“Don’t start talking like that. It almost sounds like goodbye and I won’t have it. I’ll see you in an hour or two.” She stated and then marched out of your room.

Goodbye. You scoffed. You didn’t even want to think about goodbye yet.

But of course now you were faced with the reality of it all. There was no obtainable cure to your ailment. The thought of it spread dread through your body like you’d never felt before and you felt even sicker than you ever had prior to today.

A particular wave of nausea had you sprinting to the waste bin by your bed and you dropped to your knees and retched into it, your throat getting sliced up with an especially sharp slew of blood and thorns and a few battered petals. The door behind you opened and you heard a gasp from the doorway and wiped your face with the back of your hand before you turned around.

Still on your knees, you looked up to see Aleksander’s personal favorite Healer, Emilia, standing in the doorway. The two of you stared at each other for a moment before she walked towards you and gently helped you to your feet. She looked over your shoulder into the wastebasket and then she looked up at your face, her mouth making a little ‘o’. She glanced back in the bin and then she shook her head.

“Are those…?”

“Yes. They’re petals. Why are you here?” You asked and slowly sat down on the edge of your bed.

“The Darkling sent me to check on you.” She whispered and then she placed her hand on your head, feeling your temperature.

“Genya is doing a fine job on her own, thank you, Emilia.” You wheezed and then leaned your head into your hands.

She stayed put for a moment and looked back and forth between you and your bloody, flowery vomit and then she gave you a tedious nod, “Yes, okay. I’m sorry to have intruded.“ she said quietly and you gave her only a small hum in response before she scuttled out of the room, retreating as if you were some feral dog, before you could even think to stop her. You would have certainly been wise to.

You glanced at the door and felt a cold, sick dread fill your stomach. She was going to tell Aleksander.

You sat, slumped, in the chair by your fireplace and you closed your eyes, letting out labored breaths. Your chest had become impossibly tight and you sat in fear that Aleksander would burst in and berate you at any moment now.

Your eyes filled with tears at the thought of just Aleksander and you wrapped your arms around yourself. It wasn’t like you couldn’t miss him. He was, at the end of the day, your best friend. Or at least, he had been. You didn’t really know where you stood with him now.

Panic gripped your lungs when you heard hurried footsteps down the hallway and when the door swung open you winced. No yelling ensued and you turned around to see Genya standing in the doorway, gazing over at you with a little frown.

“Are you sure you’re up to this?” She asked softly as she strode towards you.

You simply gave her a little nod and you rose to your feet off of the chair and grabbed onto the hand she was now extending for you. She helped you steady yourself and she frowned once, pulling you into a gentle side hug.

“Okay. The party has already started, I hope you don’t mind. There was a… choreographed display. Of shadow and light.” She explained slowly and then glanced down at you. You knew who she was talking about. Aleksander and Alina.

She gave you a sympathetic smile and you realized your face must have fallen, “I just figured you didn’t want to have to watch them.”

“No, I appreciate it. Thank you, Genya.” You said quietly and then nodded towards the door, “Let’s go. I don’t want to be out long tonight, I don’t think.” You murmured, a frown ever present on your face.

She nodded just once and whisked you out of your room. The walk from the Little Palace to the Grand Palace was made in comfortable silence and you leaned your head against Genya’s shoulder. She wrapped her arm around your shoulders and gently patted your arm, and you let out a small sigh. As soon as the two of you walked inside of the Grand Palace, you instantly regretted coming to the fete.

People were crowded around the hallway and spilled out from the room of the event, leaving you hardly any space to breathe. You wrapped both of your arms around Genya’s and you nearly buckled under the wave of nausea that crashed over you.

Genya slowly pulled away from your side and she grabbed your hand and nodded towards the grand hall, “I’m going to go get a drink. Would you like one?” You nodded idly and she gave your hand a little squeeze, “Okay. Stay here. Don’t get around too many people.” She advised and you nodded again.

She scurried off hurriedly down the hall and you looked down at your dress. You ran your fingers down the embroidered bodice and you let out a little sigh. You sorely regretted not staying in bed and you looked around at the other partygoers. Some were drunk, others were just boisterous. Most hid their sordidness underneath fine clothes and expensive perfumes. You looked down at your feet and felt guilty for making Genya drag you to the party and you turned to go find her.

“Y/n!”

You turned around to see Alina bustling towards you with two guards in tow behind her. You had to blink back the urge to cry when you saw her. She wore a black kefta with yellow and gold embroidery and her hair was done up beautifully. The nausea hit you harder and you held your hand over your stomach instinctively, giving her a terse smile.

“Hello.” You breathed and leaned back up against the wall behind you.

“You look beautiful.” She commented sweetly, “Feeling better?” She asked and you gave her a bleary nod.

“Mhm, so much better.” You mumbled and sucked in a deep breath through your nose. A sharp feeling began to climb the back of your throat and you began to panic.

“I’m glad to hear, you look so pretty. I’ve missed you readying me.” She admitted and then chuckled nervously.

One of the guards leaned forward and mumbled something in her ear and she frowned, but nodded.

“I have to get going. But please, come see me tomorrow.” She pleaded and you gave her a simple nod, your throat and chest beginning to ache and burn all the same.

The guards urged her forward and everything began to sound as if you were underwater. You stared off absentmindedly after Alina and frowned deeply. Aleksander strode down the hall towards her and his eyes fell upon you. His stern expression seemed to falter a bit when he looked at you and you glanced down at the bundle of flowers he had in his hands. Your eyes filled with tears involuntarily and you watched as he stopped the guards that stood with Alina and he passed her the flowers before he locked eyes with you again.

Your face burned with shame and sadness and your vision began to blur and shift and you pushed away from the wall dizzily, ignoring the muffled shouts of your name coming from his mouth. You shoved past a few people and gathered the skirts of your dress up in one hand and you rushed down the hallway. You stopped briefly a few times to steady yourself against the wall and you felt a sickening pressure at the back of your throat. You just had to make it back to your room.

You carried on almost deliriously and you made your way into the nearly totally empty Little Palace. You bustled up the stairs with your hand over your mouth when a sharp cough ripped its way up your throat and you heaved forward, falling to your knees on the stairs as you coughed violently. Tears burned in your eyes and fell down your cheeks helplessly as you spewed the hot, metallic mixture of your blood and bile over your gloved hand. You crawled up the stairs weakly and you pushed yourself to your feet, leaving a bloody smear on the marble floor. You stumbled hurriedly down the hall to your room and you threw your door open as soon as you could. You fell to your knees again and let out a long, sad wail before you were coughing out thorns and petals all over the pristine skirt of your dress.

The flowery vomit looked even worse tonight, and the blood mixed in with it was darker and there was much more of it. You coughed and heaved and choked on whatever was in your throat until an entire rose bloom came hurtling out of your mouth. You stared down at it shakily and reached out to touch it before you coughed again, much harder this time. Blood flew from your open mouth all over your carpet and your dress and your chin and you cried loudly, lowering yourself to the floor weakly. You reached up shakily to wipe your eyes with the back of your hand and you looked around at the bloody mess you had made and you whimpered.

You thought about Aleksander again as you coughed more, your chest feeling as if it was going to collapse at any moment. You missed him. You desperately wished it was you that he gave his affections to. You loved him. It became impossibly hard to breathe and you could see black spots dancing in your vision and you could swear you heard him calling out for you; Something so bittersweet that brought you so much comfort as you laid in a mess of your own blood and shredded flower petals. Your heart pounded against your chest and you could feel cold exhaustion climbing up around your mind. You could still hear his voice, closer now. You weren’t sure if you were ready to die, but at least you could try and make peace with it. You drew in a labored breath and then found yourself gasping in fear as you felt two hands grip your arms.

You were yanked up against somebody and you slowly looked upwards to see Aleksander kneeling over you, holding you against his chest.

“Say something, dammit!” He ordered, but his voice sounded far away.

You tried to speak his name but your chest seemed to collapse in on itself and you turned your head to cough away from him, not wanting to get any blood on him. As soon as you finished coughing, he gripped your chin and turned your head towards his and he stared down at you wildly.

“Y/n, I really, really need you to say something.” He pleaded and you weren’t sure if you were imagining the glint of unshed tears in his eyes or not.

You let out another wail and you tried to push away from him, but his arms were like steel around you and you were too weak to even attempt to get away from him, so you resigned to crying in his arms.

“Aleksander.” You wheezed and weakly grabbed onto the lapel of his kefta.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?” He demanded and cradled you gently against his chest.

“You don’t care!” You cried, finding your very, very weak voice suddenly.

“I do care!”

“You don’t! You just care about Alina, you want Alina, you need Alina, you’re in love with Alina. You don’t care, and I don’t expect you to. Why should you? It’s my own miserable fault for falling in love with you.” You sobbed and felt as if you were going to vomit again.

Aleksander didn’t say a single word. Instead, he leaned down until his forehead was touching yours and he nudged his nose against yours just slightly. You fought to get away from him, but he didn’t allow you to move. He shushed you softly as you cried and attempted to get as far away from him as possible and you sobbed, grabbing at his wrists.

“Stop! Please just leave me alone! I can’t take this.” You cried and hit his chest, but he still didn’t move.

Tears rolled down your cheeks and you sniffled and eventually stopped trying to get away from him. He seemed to want to make it hard for you until your bitter end. One of his hands was gently moving through your hair as it had many nights ago and you whimpered, a sound that broke his heart.

“I care. More than you know, little love.” He murmured and kept his forehead pressed against yours, “You think I don’t care? How could I not? You are so special to me.”

You cried and subconsciously leaned into his touch as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“Please stop.” You begged. You wanted to cover your ears.

“Stop what? Do you not want to hear how I care? How I feel ashamed of myself for making you feel as if I don’t? Do you not want to hear about how in love with you I am?” He asked in a whisper and you froze. His hand continued to sweep through your hair and you let out a loud cry and struggled against his arms as he lifted his forehead away from yours.

“You’re lying.” You sobbed and brought your hands up to your face as you cried into them.

“I’d never lie to you about something like this.” He insisted softly.

“You are lying.”

“How can you accuse me of that?” He asked, his tone incredulous.

“Because I’m dying! I’m dying and you know it’s what I want to hear!” You argued, but you let your head fall against his chest nonetheless.

“I don’t lie. I’ve never lied to you. Saints, you’re inconsolable. I have my own reasons for getting close to Alina, but none of them are even close to being because I’m in love with her. No, my love is saved for you and you alone.” He murmured, “I have loved you for years. Ages. For so long, hoping and praying that perhaps you’d see me in the same light one day. I never wished for it to be like this.” He finished, voice breaking just slightly at the end.

You felt the tightness in your chest ease up just a little bit and you pulled your head away from his chest so that you could look up at him, only to find him already gazing down at you. You studied his face for any sign that he might be lying to you and when you found none you leaned your head against the side of his arm. You weakly nuzzled your cheek against it and you could hear him let out a long sigh.

“Are you going to tell me what is wrong with you? Or are you just going to leave that to my Healer relaying information to me?” He asked and you shrugged once, more pressure leaving your chest.

You let out a pathetic sounding sigh and you clung to him as if someone was going to take him from you and you quietly began to explain your condition to him, leaving little to nothing out. When you finished, the silence around the two of you was painful and you looked up at his face. He seemed angry and he seemed as if he was going to cry, but he looked down and met your eyes, and everything on his face melted into sadness.

“I did this to you?” He asked quietly and you shook your head.

“You couldn’t possibly have known. I mean, I didn’t. None of us did until Genya found it in a book.” You murmured and he gathered you entirely against his chest.

“I’m so, so sorry.” He breathed, his voice practically trembling.

“No, please. Don’t be sorry. It’s okay, everything is okay now.” You said hoarsely and he shook his head once but didn’t argue further.

He stayed quiet for a moment before he sniffled and then slowly rose to his feet, pulling you with him, “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? And then you can lay in my room.” He suggested quietly.

“Okay.” You whispered, leaning against him entirely.

You sat in Aleksander’s bed an hour or two later, wrapped in a few thick blankets. You watched him scurry around his room as he tried to ready himself for bed and you smiled affectionately. After a moment he turned to you and let out a small sigh.

“What are you smiling at? You should be sleeping.”

“Can’t. Not without you.” You murmured and he blew out a few candles in the room before he came and crawled into bed next to you, his arms snaking around your waist. He tugged you against his chest protectively and he let out a long sigh.

Your damp hair was splayed out over the pillow behind your head and you pushed it away from him, clearing a little space for his head on your pillow. He took the hint and scooted his face closer to yours and he nudged his nose against yours a few times.

“You looked so beautiful tonight. In the hallway. In your pretty dress. I think pink might be your color now.” He said sweetly and you shook your head, leaning in to peck his lips a few times.

He took the opportunity to capture your lips in a deep, long kiss and finally when the two of you were properly breathless, you pulled away and shook your head.

“Forget pink. Black looks nicer on me, anyway .”

#aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova x you #the darkling x you #the darkling x reader #the darkling imagine #the darkling imagine #the darkling #general kirigan imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #shadow and bone imagine #grishaverse #shadow and bone #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagine

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euphoniumpets · 11 months

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Climbing over the wall | Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: You haven't met your bethroted yet and from what you've been knowing by your overthinking, you didn't waste a second to come up with an escape plan that didn't go that well.

Requested? Yes by @lexilulove: Love your writing and excited requests are open!! I saw this on insta the other day and now I want nothing more than a Nikolai based around this idea. With Nikolai’s love interest constantly sneaking away during events and parties. Dealer’s choice if it’s an established relationship of it Nikolai charms the shy girl and the relationship grows.

A/N: ngl, took this inspiration from queen charlotte at the attempt of climbing the wall while george is behind her like ??? and that got me thinking about y/n and nik.

Warnings: painfully longing eyes behind Nik and the reader.

The king was late.

And you were growing nervous and thought of every possible way to escape the room.

You didn't enjoyed parties, in fact, you hated them. You didn't like to be the center of attention and it was even worse when you haven't met your bethroted yet.

You was a child from a duke and your father wanted you to marry since he worried of you that you would end up alone knowing that you were too shy to even make social intercation. You had been like that ever since you was a child and when your mother had passed away. Always so quiet and enjoyed your own company.

So, when the rumor had spoken that the king of Ravka was looking for a wife to marry, let alone to rule a whole country, your father had suggested you to him.

You had been hesitant but you wanted to please your father and said yes to the arranged marrige. You haven't met the king personally, but from what you've been told by the maidens and by Genya, Zoya, and Alina, that he's kind and handsome.

You've heard some stories and the rumors about the youngest prince that he was a bastard, but you didn't care that he was one. All you cared that if he was going to treat you right as a husband.

Genya and Zoya had invited everyone to the ball to celebrate your marriage and of course, Nikolai himself was late. Zoya had already gone off to scold Nikolai for being late while Genya was somewhere in the room with Alina, leaving you all alone full with nerves.

You scanned the room and saw an opportunity to escape the ball while nobody was noticing that you were gone. You placed your glass of champange down as everybody continued to chat with each other and the music played loud enough that nobody saw you slipping away.

You walked through the gardens but stopped when you saw a wall in front of you. You huffed with annoyance as you knew that you had to climb the wall over.

But you knew that it would be a struggle because of your dress that Zoya had picked for you and she would kill you for destroying the dress. ''Ah, what the hell,'' You muttered to yourself as you embraced that Zoya will kill you for ruining the dress.

You grabbed one of the branches from the tree on the wall and tried to climb up. Upon hearing, you heard footsteps from behind. ''Milady, do you need help of an assistance of some kind?'' You heard a male voice coming from behind you.

''I am, uh, quite fine, thank you,'' You spoke and didn't look behind and tried to figure out a way to climb up higher. ''You can go back inside and wait with all the other gwakes, '' You dismissed and didn't think much of it since you thought it was one of the maidens that had found you.

''I will, but first, I'm curious, what are you doing?''

''Nothing,'' You spoke and huffed.

''You're doing something,'' The man replied with a deadpanned look.

''I am not,'' You spoke. ''You are,''

''I am not,'' You argued and let out a sigh and looked at the tree in front of you. ''If you must know, I'm trying to ascertian the best way to climb over the garden wall,'' You responded and gestured toward the tree.

''Climb? Whatever for?''

''Because I think he may be a beast,'' You replied and placed your hands over your hips. ''A beast?''

''Or a troll,'' You responded. ''A troll?'' The man replied with an offended expression.

''Who are we discussing?'' The man asked. ''Oh, that is impertinent, none of your buisness,'' You replied and glanced back at him before looking around.

''The king,'' You answered after a short silence. ''From what I've heard: that he's handsome, kind, but some people won't even speak of him,'' You informed.

''And that makes you think that the king is a troll or a beast?'' The man asked. ''Well, I haven't seen him yet,'' You answered. ''And I'm overthinking things,'' You spoke.

''Ah, understood,'' He replied. ''You know, if I grab there,'' You said and pointed toward the garden wall. ''Perhaps you could assist me by lifting up,'' You told him and began to climb again.

''Uh, one question, you do not like beast or trolls? What he looks like matters?'' He asked you.

''I do not care what he looks like, what I do not like is not knowing, now, here, just take a hold here with a lift, I believe that I can make it over the garden wall,'' You said and went back to the garden wall and gestured him to help you.

''You want me to lift you over the wall so you may can escape?''

''That is what I said, yes,'' You replied and rolled your eyes. ''People will notice you are missing will they not?''

''Oh, please, they won't,'' You assured him and waved him off. ''Now, if you please, I just need a little help, come, make haste,''

''I have no absolutely no intention of helping you,'' He responded, making you pause before turning to him. ''I am in lady in distress, you refuse to help a lady in distress?'' You asked him with an offended expression.

''I refuse when that lady in distress is trying to go over the wall so that she does not want to marry me,'' He replied making you look at him with wide eyes and shock. Nikolai only found it amusing when he saw the reaction in your face.

''Hello, Y/n,'' He greeted you with a smile. ''I'm Nikolai,'' He introduced himself and you looked at him. ''Please accept my apology, if I had known that you were you...''

''You would have what?'' Nikolai interrupted you. ''Not told me that you were trying to escape?'' He asked with an amusing expression.

''Well, yes, I mean, I do apologize, moi tsar,'' You spoke quietly and looked down at the ground.

''Just call me Nik,'' Nikolai responded and looked at you with a kind smile. ''The king situation, it towers over us, accident of birth on my part, but I thought maybe perhaps, as my wife, you could ignore it, and I could be just Nik to you,'' He spoke.

''That was of course, before I found out that you do not want to be married to me,''

''I did not say that,'' You looked at him with an offended expression.

''Oh you did,'' He responded. ''I did not,'' You argued. ''You did!''

''It is not,'' You argued and paused. ''I do not know you,'' You replied and sighed. ''I do not know you either, except that you are terrible at climbing a wall,'' Nikolai teased and you saw the smile in the corner of his lips.

''You try climbing a wall in all of this,'' You gestured towards your dress that now was ruined for the ball and huffed at him.

''I was told that you were late,'' You replied and looked at him. ''Yes, my apologies for that, king duties you know,'' Nikolai informed and you nodded slightly.

''There you are!'' You heard Zoya's voice exclaim from behind as the two of you turned around. ''What have you done to your dress!'' You heard Zoya exclaim angirly. ''Zoya, calm down,'' You replied.

''She was trying to climb over the wall,'' Nikolai responded and you looked at him with a glare.

''Over the wall?'' Zoya questioned with a confused look. ''That's is not important, now we have to change you into a new dress,'' Zoya grunted with annoyance and dragged you from Nikolai.

''You will pay for this,'' You mouthed over to him as he looked back at you with a smile as Zoya dragged you away.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov x reader smut #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #shadow and bone x reader

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chibipeachu · 2 months

Text

Melancholy Memories | Aleksander. M

wc: 1.4k

pairing: Aleksander morozova X Fem!Reader

navi ¦ part one

It was a new kind of pain to stand there as the servants laid you into a glass coffin, the king had request it, to help healers study your cause of death.

Aleksander stood beside the king and queen, his eyes not moving from your peaceful body, they had placed a white face scarf over your mouth to hide the rose from the public eye.

Genya caught Aleksander’s attention as they all waited for the announcer to tell ravka about your death. She wiped her nose, trying to hold back her tears as fedyor and ivan were apart of the servants who helped carry your coffin to the healers study.

Aleksander had blanked out most of the announcement, still in shock of your sudden death.

Hours before you both had been laughing at old memories the next, there he was watching as his closest grisha rest your coffin.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Aleksander sighed as he glanced up at the doorway, it still hurt to walk past those doors each day. With a deep sigh he opened the door. Faint whiff of your perfume washed over him as he walked in.

He held his breath as he walked towards the loveseat you had placed in your shared bedroom, he sat down and looked around the room, taking in the last remaining bit of your presence.

Tears fell from his eyes, aleksander quickly placed his head in his head, his mind cruelly reminding him of your past memories together.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

“Is it too late to tell you that i’ve never properly ridden a horse before?” Aleksander chuckled at your words.

“Yes, it is a bit late, but luckily for you, the saints favor you today meaning, you have a perfect guide..” He motions towards himself. “I don’t see ivan or fedyor anywhere..” You playfully looked around the palace grounds.

He let out a playful scoff. “Alright let’s move it!” You both laugh as aleksander quickly helped you get on the horse, getting on behind you. “What would happen if I fell off right now?” You teased as aleksander had the horse start to trot lightly around the grass.

“Be sent to the healers for weeks.” He quickly tightened his hold on your waist.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Aleksander smiled from his side of your bed as you got ready for the day, from brushing your hair to buttoning up your kefta.

“Zlatan would be shocked if he knew his enemy was really just a lazy man in bed..” You smiled at your husband through your vanity mirror.

“Well i’m sure zlatan doesn’t have this sight every morning..” You smiled and stood up from your vanity chair and walked to your loveseat and gently plopped down and posed for your husband.

“Perhaps I could distract zlatan while you attack?” Aleksander scoffed and got up from the bed and walked over to the loveseat. “Zlatan would freeze at the sight of a lady like yourself..” He gently kissed your hands, looking up at you as he kissed your wedding ring, making you giggle.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

As aleksander sat, overwhelmed by your memories, he noticed a old journal tossed onto the small table in front of the loveseat. He sighed and scooted to the edge of the seat and grabbed the journal.

He flipped through the journal, he quickly paused as he noticed amongst the hundreds of pages only one page had been folded over to be a bookmark.

He unfolded the page and read the entry.

“A “golden guest” is what their calling her. Genya told me she’s a squaller and a powerful one at that, Aleksander had her in my old room for now, said she should have the best for a new guest..”

Aleksander quickly moved to the next paper.

“It seems i’ve somehow have developed a illness, it’s weird, being grisha and ill? Is it possible? I guess so, saints know how bad it hurts to breath as of late, aleksander has been busy, his attention is too focused on zoya to noticed. Queen tatiana had requested for me to join her and the other ladies to a lunch, of course i accepted before she threw a fit, hopefully it’s not totally boring this time…my illness seems to have gotten worse these past weeks, i feel very tired and achy? If that’s the right word even..”

“The lunch with the queen and her ladies were lovely, lady clarisse had taken her child with, cute little thing, we were joint at the hip for most of the lunch. Perhaps one day me and aleksander’s children will be as joyful and cute.”

As Aleksander sighed and went to place the journal beside him, too overwhelmed by his emotions a page fell from the journal, earning his attention.

“Hanahaki Disease | Death do you part.”

It’s a disease people suffer from when they experience unrequited love. The name Hanahaki derives from two shu words: ‘Hana’ meaning ‘flower’ and ‘hakimasu’ meaning ‘to throw up.’ So, when you put the two words together, you get the main symptom of Hanahaki disease, that is, coughing up flower petals.

As of recently there seems to be incurable, may the effected be received peacefully to the saints.

Aleksander’s throat closed as his eyes scanned over the page over and over again; his love’s death had been his fault, not some random curse but himself..

He shakily grabbed the journal and walked to the healer’s study where the king was observing the healer’s and your case.

Aleksander quickly stormed in and slammed the journal on the table, making some of the healers tense up.

“I have the answers you’ve been looking for, now you may now peacefully rest my wife’s body.” Aleksander demanded as his eyes held tears welted up.

“What?” King pyotr questioned, opening the journal and read over the entry and sighed before looking up at the healer’s.

“Ignore general kirigan and continue.” The healers quickly got back to examining your body. Aleksander scoffed and looked at the king.

“You wanted to find the source and it’s there now let her rest!” Aleksander pointed to the journal, now in king pyotr’s hand. “It’s the cause yes but we could finally be a step ahead of shu han for a cure! We can’t let this go, just cause you hate seeing your failed marriage attempt!” The king sighed, turning back to the healers, aleksander quickly left the room.

He watched as his feet moved on their own, back to your room.

Feeling numb, he walked to the bed and laid on the side where you had demanded he slept.

The soft smell of you lulled him to a peaceful sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Children’s laugher made aleksander open his eyes, he quickly hissed and lifted a hand to hide form the bright sun.

“Papa’s awake!” A tiny voice squealed, a quick flash of raven hair flew past him and towards the connected bathroom, where a familiar chuckle came from.

“That’s cause you woke him silly girl!”

Aleksander quickly sat up and rushed to the bathroom and felt his heart freeze at the sight.

There you were, your hair messy as you placed the little girl into the tub of bubbles. “I’m sorry she woke you up lapushka, told her she had to get in the bath..” You sighed before walking over to aleksander with a soft smile on your face.

“You’re so beautiful.” Aleksander whispered out as he held your face in his palm, your skin slightly warm.

“As are you!” You quickly kissed him before pulling back and tapping him on his chest. “Now go get the other little ones..” As aleksander went to look behind him, the room doors opened to reveal three younger boys smiling at him.

“I beat ivan today papa!” Aleksander took note of the kid’s kefta, he was a tidemaker. “Good job!” You cheered from the bathroom.

“Only cause he felt bad you fell and hit your head yesterday.” the second boy, an inferni smirked while walking past aleksander and right towards yours and aleksander’s bed.

“Papa? Are you alright?” The oldest of the three questioned, making aleksander look at his kefta and smile, he was a shadow summer as well.

“He was woken up by your sister, so he’s a bit tired from you lot.” You laughed, walking over ot aleksander and raising your hand to cup his face.

“Go back to sleep lapushka, i got it.” You smiled as aleksander melted into your hand

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Aleksander opened his eyes and looked around the room. He sighed as he stared at the ceiling.

Maybe in a different lifetime, you both would find each other and be happily married with children…

#the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x you #general kirigan x you #aleksander morozova x you #shadow and bone x reader

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lilisouless · 3 months

Text

Zoya: the theater group that was supposed to come for the anniversary of the end of the Ravka war cancelled, i promised a play!

Nikolai: don't worry, i got this

---

Zoya: remind me never blindly trust an "i got this"

Nikolai: why? they are making a good job on the effects, and they will do anything for money

Alina: shhh! my big moment is comming!

Jesper with a long white wig: But my beloved Mole-

Wylan whispering: Mal-

Jesper: There has to be another way!

Wylan shirtless and with a six pack painted on his belly with a marker: There is no other way, Alina. Its your fate and dying for you its mine, as said by the cool and not at all awful tattoo of mine

Mal: I wasn't shirtless when i died

Alina: in my mind you were

Jesper: i can't do it!

Wylan: you must!

Jesper: okay! (fakes stabbing Wylan who fakes a collapse) oh Mal, Rakva will honor your braveness, and i will always remember how much i love your abs...and personality and all that shit

Alina snifs: its like they were just there

---

Zoya: so..why did she choose that role?

Nikolai: she said it she wanted a loud range of emotions

Nina with a big fake black kefta: Join me, Alina Starkov! join me to the shadow side , HAHAHAHA!

Zoya: at least practicing her evil laugther actually paid up

Jesper: Never! you just will just steal my power!

Nina stomping her foot; but why won't you give it to me?! why-won't you give it to me!

Mal: and...now "the darkling" is crying like a baby...at least they got that right

Nina: You need me! you need the shadow!

Jesper: no...this is..BONE! (fakes stabs Nina)

Nina: noooo! i am dyiiing....nooo, why didn't i bring a blade proof kefta, nooo

Nina fake coughing: Alina...please...do something for me...

Jesper fake crying while an onion slips from his fake kefta: yes?

Nina: "cough" tell...Zoya...to give that little grisha, Nina Zenik (the cutest one) all the waffles she wants (fakes a collapse)

Jesper: now its my time to die too, Tamar. Tolya, bring me my boytoy

Mal: excuse me? "man toy" please

Kuwei enter the scenario while dragging Wylan around

Tolya: is he supposed to be me or you?

Tamar: he has an undercut, so probably me-

Kuwei: Sankta Alina, we can cure you! I can cure you with my axe!

Kuwei turning around,showing a sidetail on the other side of his face: this makes me want to do some poetry

Tamar: oh, he is both of us, like the detail that the arm playing me is more muscular

Tolya: its literally not-

Jesper: no...i´ll die, my job here is done

Kuwei as Tolya : but my saint! you can't leave us!

Kuwei turning around as Tamar: Ravka is still a mess

Jesper: And thats your problem now, so long suckers! (fakes to die over Wylan´s body as Kuwei cries)

---

Inej with a fake blue kefta: i hope all of you know how lucky you are to be on my pressence

Zoya: this whole play is awful, all our portrayals are so one note and exagerated, we are not like that on real life. My eyes are too good for this sight

Inej : A triple funeral, a country with no money (flips her hair) my eyes are too good for this sight

Zoya: everyone shut up

Matthias with a cardboard crown: Oh yes, and i am the king now, i was hidden to treat my injuries completely unrelated to demonic possesion and (looks up at cue cards) improbable...i am a pearl...something , something...charming

Nikolai: who let him play me?

Kaz with a cheap red wig and a patch before the big curtain falls : and i...was ruination

Zoya: always the need to have the last word

Genya clapping: as "she" should

#shitpost #grishaverse shitpost #to clear possible confussion the crows are all in the play #everyone else is in the audience looking #shadow and bone shitpost #netflix shadow and bone #six of crows #leigh bardugo #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #sab shitpost #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #inej ghafa

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sunandflame · 9 months

Note

Hi :) I’m sorry but my request isn’t there so it may have not sent properly. Please could I request headcanons of the hashira reacting to their crush being very kind and loving to their sibling/siblings :)

Aaah yes! This is such a cute request and I loved doing that! Please forgive me if it took longer than you expected. I hope it is to your liking and if not please let me know through an anon ask.❤️

Hashira's reacting to their crush being kind to their sibling(s)

Warnings: maybe a super tiny nsfwish? mention of trauma and abuse in the past

Word Count: 955

Pairing: Hashira's x Fem!Reader

crossposted on AO3

Kyojuro Rengoku

Listen to me. This man would blush. And you know why? Because of his crush he got on you.

And now he sees how kind and loving you act towards Senjuro?

This of course leaves him with the question of whether you are so loving with small babies.

Of course you would, what a stupid question from him.

But now he just can't stop imagining you with a baby. A baby from you two, because this man definitely wants children later.

He later needed a cold shower to calm his flushing down, since he recalled how babies were made. 😉

Sanemi Shinazugawa

He would watch you silently and while he does an inner image would appear in front of him.

That of his mother's.

And that would confuse the Wind Hashira very much.

Especially when he sees how warm and kind you act towards Genya and other younger people?

He can't stop thinking that Sumi, Hiroshi, Teiko, Koto, Shuya and Sanehiro would adore you.

And that brings a comforting inner warmth that he had always felt towards his mother back then.

You remind him so much of his mother that he got flashbacks of how she protected her children from their brutal father like a lioness.

That spoiled his mood in the usual way and the gentle smile that briefly reflected on his lips disappeared.

He swore to protect you from everything and everyone, because such a kind soul had to survive in this world and not the murderous scum that he saw in himself.

Giyuu Tomioka

He too would be very subtle in his observation.

You probably wouldn't even know that he saw you.

But he did. And it had definitely triggered something in him.

And it was rare smile, but he kept turning away so quickly so that nobody would be able to see it.

The first time he wants to start a conversation with someone. And then with you of all people.

But he is so awkward and shy in it because he had never done anything like that, especially not with someone who he has a crush on. So double awkwardness.

So he keeps watching you, this time a little more obviously, hoping that you might start a conversation with him.

And while he was watching you a soft smile would play on his lips and this time he wouldn't turn away and look directly at you.

Tengen Uzui

The man had 9 siblings and they all died before he was 15

Then seeing you treating a younger one with kindness and love he wished he had felt when he was younger?

Yeah, this man is gonna come to you and lay the world at your feet together with his 3 wives.

But firstly, he would come alone, take your hand and gently kiss your knuckles.

"Be my 4th wife and have my babies. I know you would be a great mother!"

Mitsuri Kanroji

Our beloved love Hashira

She would probably hear it first from her siblings, before seeing it herself.

"Mitsuri neechaaan! Can we (y/n) see again? She was so nice and kind to us! She even brought us sweets!"

Those would be the words of her little siblings as they are all stand very close to each other.

This made her curious.

And if she then sees with her own eyes?

She would squeal in happiness, seeing how loving you are to them.

And would come up to you and hug you. Her breasts press against your shoulder. "Y/n you are so adorable!"

This time it's you who's blushing.

Obanai Iguro

He and Kaguramaru would watch you from afar.

The man didn't have a good experience with women as they were all terrible to him.

But you? You were the opposite and showed him with your gesture that there was also kindness in this world.

And that was one of the reasons why he had a huge crush on you.

And your gesture would make him fall even more for you.

He would sneak gifts to you.

(I am sorry. I feel like I am describing Obanai x Mitsuri as I always see them as canon and his type.)

Gyomei Himejima

He is already a big soft teddy bear

So expect it to grow into an even bigger one.

The first time he noticed tha, he wouldn't think anything of it.

But he sees that it's your nature and that you do it not for yourself.

And he would be touched by your kindness that he would shed tears (as he often does)

Gyomei eventually coming to you and while he towers over you with his height (man is huge) he would ask you.

"Do you want to talk about cats?"

Shinobu Kocho

Shinobu witnessed your kindness towards the younger ones in the butterfly mansion.

And she thinks you are downright adorable.

And she wants to tease you about that.

Which she will certainly do. (Nothing is going to stop her anyway) And oh she loves to tease you.

But on the other hand she will praise you. Telling you how admirable your kindness and love is.

"This reminds me of someone..." And for the first time her smile turned sad.

You could help but hug her and comfort her, as you did with the younglings.

Muichiro Tokito

Empty eyes would clear at that moment and would look at you in surprise.

It is not about how you look, but the way you treat other the younger ones. It would bring back certain memory he thought it was long gone.

He would look at you with wide big eyes.

"Y/n..." That he remembered your name would make you turn in surprise, but there would be a smile. "Yes, what is it Tokito-san?"

And then he would remember and he would hold your hand and smile. "Your kindness... It made me remember something very dearly to me. Of my father and mother... Thank you so much for that"

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ninapi · 10 months

Text

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Wind Pillar ╝

Premise: Days in the life of the Shinazugawa household, based on my previous story (link here).

Word Count: 3263

Note: This was requested by the lovely @yourlocalangie, “little family moments in the shinazugawa household with the reader and their children.” 🫶🏻

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A typical day in the Shinazugawa household started very early in the morning. Even before the sun got a chance to go out, Sanemi, his wife and the children would be on their way down the mountain with a cart full of goodies.

Over the years the farm had grown quite a bit.

Mia and her husband had babies and now your chicken coop is full to the brim with lovely birds and delicious eggs for your family and the towns people.

The milk from your farm was considered the hottest item in the market, getting a consistent queue of customers since very early in the morning, creating a high demand.

After an intense morning of sales, the Shinazugawa family heads back to their farm for a well deserved home cooked meal.

The afternoons were particularly busy, since they would all go to the market together, the rest of the work had to be done after lunch.

"Sanehiko, you're on milk duty, make sure they at least fill two of the big jugs."

"On it father." Sanehiko, the eldest of the lot was the most invested in the family business. He learned from his mother from a very young age how to tend the animals and get the milk from the cows, being the best at it in the family. He thoroughly enjoys working on the fields as well, always looking for a way to help with the crops and making sure everything was in order, out of all of them he was the most responsible and down to earth, being the eldest had a big impact in his way of living, much like young Sanemi he is constantly thinking of the wellbeing of his family and does his best to support his parents.

"Genma, you're in charge of picking the best tomatoes to sell tomorrow. Water your mother's herbs when you're done."

"Yes father!" Genma was the sweetest of them all, always wanting to please his mother and father alike. Sanemi was forever jealous at the fact that he was a momma's boy, he reminds him so much of Genya he wishes he would look up to him the way his brother used to do, but his mother is softer and prettier, of course anyone would choose her instead, he would do too.

"Remi, help your mother separate the black from the red berries and put them in the different baskets. If you behave, I might show you the third form." His only daughter was the closest to him, she inherited his spirit and even if she's not even three yet she begs her father to teach her his wind breathing techniques, days he decides to indulge her even the tiniest bit are the happiest around the house.

"(Y/N) you concentrate on the marmalade and watching Senri, I'll take care of the rest there is to do around in the fields and pick up the eggs." reaching over for your husband, you placed a soft kiss to his lips, nodding at his instructions. You were still very much pregnant and doing more than that would be harsh on your body. Patting your bum lovingly, he rolled his sleeves up and headed back to work.

"Mma this!" Remi was diligently following her father's instructions, pulling a berry that wasn’t ripe out and showing it to you in her tiny hand. "Good eye, baby. Let's put those a side ok? We don't want the marmalade to be sour." happily she set it on a plate and continued with her designated job.

No day was the same. Having a farm gave the kids the opportunity to be active and learn from their parents skills that would be useful in the future. Sanemi made sure to rotate them around the tasks, he wanted his children to grow as strong as he was and as smart as their mother, he wanted nothing but the best for them.

By the end of the day they were all tired and ready for bed as early as the sun would set that day.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Sundays were off. It didn't matter how much work was pending in the farm, how many eggs the chickens lay that morning, how much money they made that week, nothing mattered. Days off were important for the Shinazugawas.

Sanemi didn't get much time to lay around with his youngest since he is always so busy, but Sundays were normally deemed 'Senri day'.

Today though, he had slightly different plans.

You just finished bathing Remi and Senri when you heard Genma squealing like a little piglet.

"Genma get your ass here right now!"

Your husband sounded pissed. He rarely yells at the children, no matter how angry he was.

"Mother!!! Help me!! Father has gone crazy!! MOTHER!!!" his cries for help made you run outside your house, just to see your husband chasing your child around the fields with a sharp knife in his hand.

"Shinazugawa Sanemi. What on earth are you doing?" the child crashed against your leg, hiding behind it. If there was someone who could save him, that would be you.

"Tch." he was forced to stop running by your deep angry mother glare, "I just wanted to give him a haircut, love. Don't know why he's running away like a freak. Did you see him run? How is he faster than me? He's five, this makes no sense."

The four Shinazugawa children took after their father in their physical strengths. Sanehiko could lift a grown pig up since he was four. Genma had super speed, apparently. Remi had his blood thirst and Senri broke Sanehiko's finger when he was just three months old.

You brought Genma up into your arms, looking into his terrified eyes. "What's wrong, baby? Why aren't you letting your father cut your hair? You can't even see of how long it is."

"He....wanted to shave the sides of my head...." the child buried his face on your chest seeking for comfort, this always irritated Sanemi. He understands he is still young and that’s completely normal, but nobody but him and maybe Senri should be allowed to do that. Being jealous of his own children was a new low for the pillar.

"Stop being such a cry baby. I will do it whether you want it or not, I'm your father I do whatever the hell I want."

"Seems like you enjoyed sleeping out by the kitchen, darling." all trace of color drained from Sanemi's face instantly.

"B-babe....let's talk this out, ok? I just wanted to give him a haircut, you know he needs one." and he did, but you didn't like the way he was speaking to the child.

"Why are you shaving his head though? He looks so cute with his long hair." you were peppering soft kisses all over his little face, making him giggle.

By now Sanemi was sitting on the floor beside you, heaving out a long defeated sigh. "My brother...he had his hair like that. I guess I miss him."

"Oh my love...." setting your child down, you embraced your crestfallen husband, kissing the side of his face. "I know you see your brother in Genma, but you gotta remember he's your son and he is just five. Running after him with a knife in your hand isn't considered bonding."

"Father. It’s ok, you can shave my head. I don't like that sad face you're making." he brought Genma into a strong embrace and you all remained like that for a while. He missed Genya dearly, but having you around was more than he deserved.

"Remi too, Remi too!!!" your little girl jumped on Sanemi's back, nuzzling his neck with her little nose.

Sanehiko was holding Senri, confused by the knot of people before him. "What's going on?"

"Just come here, dammit." he settled for leaving Senri in your arms and gently nestle himself on your side, one of his hands holding one of his father's.

The Shinazugawa household was warm and full of understanding.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After a well deserved break, your husband was now getting into your shared futon ready for a good night sleep.

He loved caressing your enlarged belly, there was nothing he enjoyed more than seeing you carrying his babies, knowing you had a part of him inside of you. He would always fall asleep while tracing patterns on your tummy, face pressed on the side of your neck.

Maybe it was the emotional afternoon your family had, maybe it was the long walk up the hill from the day before. The reason was unknown to you but a sharp pain on your lower half alerted your sleepy husband.

“(Y/N) what’s wrong?”

“Is coming Nemi.” as if on cue, your water broke all over your freshly laundered covers.

“What do you mean is coming? Isn’t it too early? Fuck, what do we do now? Can you wait until I go call the midwife?” he already knew the answer to that question, your body was moving on its own into a good position to deliver the baby.

“Can’t do. We gotta do this on our own, I’ve done it four times already and you’ve been there for every single one of them, we know what to do.”

“Are you out of your fucking mind (Y/N)? What if there’s complications? Senri gave you a hard time.” he was panicking now, removing the covers completely to give you more space, “Hell, you haven’t even finished waving the basket, where is the baby going to sleep?”

“SANEHIKO.” the contractions were heavy, painful, one right after the other, you needed a cool headed person around while your husband hyperventilated in a corner of the room.

“Yes, mother?” the child had already gone to bed, but was still awake thankfully, coming to your aid instantly.

“The baby is coming my love, you know what to do right?” the child nodded making his way over to the kitchen, returning not long after with clean cloths and water.

“Take Senri, we need his basket. Remember, don’t come out of the room until I go look for you, no matter what you hear. This goes for the rest of the gang too, keep an eye on all of them.” Sanemi’s anxiety driven self was finally grasping reality, just in time.

It was now just the two of you in your room. The same room you and your brother were born in, the same room where your four children came to this world. “We can do this, love.” Sanemi held your hand as tight as he could getting in between your legs as you started pushing your fifth child out. Thankfully there were no complications, the child came out fast and with minimal effort, more than ready to come out and meet her family.

Sanemi was ecstatic when he saw his baby girl for the first time as the adrenaline rush was finally settling down. He somehow thought he’d have another boy; it was a pleasant surprise. He was so into it that even forgot he had to clip the cord, almost dragging you out with him when he pulled the baby close to his chest. She looked just like you, his beautiful little treasure.

After cleaning you and the baby, Sanemi set the child on his son’s basket, wrapped into a little cocoon where she slept peacefully tired of the whole adventure.

“How are you feeling, baby? You did such a good job. You’re a pro at this now you have my respect I could never do that, specially not now that I saw it so up close, that shit's not for the weak. I knew I picked the right wife.” this made you giggle, pulling your husband in for cuddles. You probably needed space but all you wanted was to be in his arms.

“I feel less heavy. A bit sore though.” he was rubbing circles onto the side of your hip trying his best to relieve the pain even if it was just a little.

“Do you want me to call the kids in? I can take Sae to them so you can rest some more.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I can handle Remi jumping on me right now.” you both chuckled, staring dreamily into each other’s eyes.

The children were overwhelmed with how cute their little sister was, Genma was particularly over the moon as he wasn’t the only one with dark hair any longer.

Sanemi explained to the kids that their mother needed to rest just like when Senri was born, they needed to behave, be gentle and stay out of troubles. But even after his father’s speech, Genma managed to sneak out of the room quietly and was now kneeling by your side.

“Mother, is your belly ok? Do you need belly rubs?” his sweet little voice was music to your ears, his gentle nature was truly a gift.

“I would love that, sweetie. But does your father know you’re here?” the child swallowed hard seemingly nervous but opted for ignoring the question and go straight to work, gently massaging your sore belly. “I will go to bed in a bit, just thought you might need belly rubs.” he looked like a little delinquent now that his father styled his hair with such a fashion forward design, it was the cutest thing in this world.

“Thank you, baby. You’re the best.” sitting up slightly, you gave your toddler a good night kiss, sending him his way before anyone noticed.

Sanemi noticed of course, but he didn’t say anything, he knew his son, he was probably just making sure his mother was still alive after the deafening screams heard all over the house during the birthing process.

He took Sae back to your room, leaving Senri to share his eldest brother bedding arrangements for the night to give you some extra time to finish the second basket the next day.

Finally going back to your side, Sanemi nearly collapsed on top of you, proud of the evening accomplishments but as tired as one can be, it never even crossed his mind he would help deliver his own child, it was an insane experience. “So how does it feel being the father of five children?” teasing your man was fun, especially when he was this tired, he gets way softer.

“Makes me want to put another one inside of that delicious looking-“

“SANEMI!” he bursts out laughing, burying his face on your hair.

“Just saying... Feels pretty good though. You know I come from a very large family, it feels great having all this tiny loud brats running around, makes me feel complete. You’ve given me so much…”

You were dozing off on his chest, placing a kiss on it before closing your eyes, “I would give you the world, my love.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Being a parent to five children was not easy.

The age gap wasn’t as helpful now a days. When Genma was born Sanehiko was already old enough to understand what was happening. But having three children in a row was taking a toll both physically and mentally on you and your husband.

Remi was difficult to handle, always so full of energy. Senri was still just a little baby but was currently learning how to walk on his own, accidents following his every step. And Sae was milking the life out of you, her appetite was like no other.

You were tired and so was Sanemi.

Even the market stall had to go on a little break, this didn’t happen when Senri was born. He’s always been a quiet baby, would sleep most of his day. But Sae was always hungry and would constantly ask to be fed.

Sanehiko was deemed Senri’s guardian, while Sanemi held onto Remi for dear life majority of the day. The farm still needed to be tended to and you would have to go back to the market soon or the goods would be lost. Genma was tasked as your moral support or how Sanemi liked to call it ‘your servant’, he was in charge of making sure his mother had everything she needed, so he would go on fluffing your pillow every few minutes, bring you water, rub your belly, help you hold his sister while you changed her. He was a big help regardless of what the others said.

“Nii-nii look.” Remi would run over to the house to show her brother the vegetables she picked, the bugs she found, she even brought an egg, her hair littered with feathers making you giggle at the mental image of your husband trying to catch his daughter and chase her out of the coop. She’s always been given easy tasks as she’s still very little, but she was now helping her father with the farm, it made her feel important.

Genma knew she was taunting him, but he was where he wanted to be, there was nothing he’d rather do than to help his mother and new sister to be comfortable and well, he was a man now, the Shinazugawa are strong, he got this under control.

You were dozing off while feeding your daughter, Genma already snoozing on your lap, when you heard tiny feet running in your direction. You could see Remi on Sanemi’s shoulders picking corn in the fields from the window, this could only mean one thing.

“Senri, is that you?” a tiny hand was holding onto the doorframe, supporting his own weight. His brother was supposed to be watching him, but your children all take after their father, you knew Sanehiko wasn’t at fault, it was most likely Senri who sneaked out.

“Come here, my love.” he lets go of the door stumbling clumsily into your arms, “Did you miss me? I sure miss you, my baby boy. It's time for your nap, isn’t it?” he was climbing onto you, stepping on Genma’s hand in the process but very diligently skipping over his newborn sister as if afraid of hurting her.

In under a minute, you could hear your restless son lifting things around the house, scrambling in fear. “Sanehiko, he’s here baby.” a tuft of white hair was now peaking from outside the window, he didn’t want his parents to notice he lost a brother but got caught regardless. He was panting, face covered in sweat, “He disappeared so quickly mother, I swear I just looked to the side for a second and he was gone.”

“I know sweetie, I know. Why don’t you come here and rest with us for a while? We all need a nap.” That was a tempting offering, he was tired that was a fact. Having to look after his little brother, while being constantly awoken at night by a crying baby was a bit too much for a nine-year-old. He nestled on your side, giving you some extra support on the arm that was holding your daughter. Quickly falling asleep like the rest of the gang, face comfortably pressed on your shoulder.

Sanemi had picked up some of your lavender for tea, hopefully that would get you to sleep better. He was about to announce his plan when he saw more than half of his family sprawled on the floor, enjoying an afternoon nap, the sun beams coming through the window were shinning on the beautiful face of his darling wife the love of his life, and his offspring.

His youngest toddler was dozing off on his head, her arms now dangling to the sides of his face. Seems like everyone had the same idea.

He put her down on her eldest brother lap, and she curled on your side immediately, holding Sanehiko’s arm like a pillow. Sanemi went on your other side, cradling you, Genma, and Senri to his chest, letting out a content sigh out and kissing your forehead softly trying not to wake you up.

His life could be chaotic and had been quite challenging over the years, but once he found his happy place, he wouldn’t trade it for anything in this universe, and that was you.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

Tagged babes: @doumadono

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komoboko · 2 months

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hello! do you think you can write a afab reader x genya comforting her while she endures her period? a short drabble is all I really want if more than it’ll be appreciated! :)

Idk what to title this 🧛

genya shinazugawa x afab!reader

if i had a nickel for the amount of period comfort request i got in the last week it would be two nickels, which isn't alot but its funny it happened twice

In the first two days Genya does not want to bother you during your period.

He heard from some of the older demon slayers that it should be better to give people space during their period. Especially due to their emotions being in a more fragile state. Kym’s best to give them the space they need to reevaluate before reaching back out to them. On the other hand Genya’s words can be blunt without him realizing it and the last thing he wants you to do is be mad at him.

So he gives you his space.. for a little while.

He was primarily raised around males, and when he was in the corps he did not have the strength to even approach somebody about such a private issue. So he only really had the basic knowledge and all the rumors he hears around the corps. He just knows ur feeling bad and in pain during this time of the month and you need space. Shinobu has to be the one to tell him he should check in on you, in person for him to consider it.

He walks up to you doorstep of your room as he can't bring his eyes to look anywhere except his feet. He slowly knocks on the door as he can hear you shuffle around the room before you open it. He turns his head away and shoves a bag in your face with a little note that says, "Kocho told me these would be useful for you during your 'time of the month' i hope they are off some use to you." You can only stare down at the bag for a minute before you invite Genya inside.

He's more surprised you were so willing about letting him in, especially after the rumors and gossip he heard about a couple days before. Nevertheless Genya still believes its right for him to treat you, kocho said you may still be going through cycles of pain so it's the least he can do for you. He starts up some tea, specifically the kind gyomei told him that relaxes the muscles and returns to you who is already back in bed.

he sits on the end of the bed slowly and hands you the tea, making sure you don’t burn your hand near the rim. His hands subconsciously go to rub circles on your back as you sit up, only hesitantly pulling back once you finally lay back down. You both sit in silence for a moment, a comfortable silence but silence none the lesson. Genya looks unnerved as he stares out the window.

“You are positive you are not dying, yes?” Genya blurts out as you turn to stare at him, he does not make eye contact with you out of embarrassment. You almost laugh, almost but you hold it on for his sake. “Yes Genya I promise you I’m fine.” You reply, it soothes you seeing how is shoulders fall down and his body begins to relax. He shifts as you both begin to talk, unsure of the right thing to say about a topic he still doesn’t really know.

He gets up after seeing your nearly finished with your tea, planning to refill yours and to give himself some clarity. Before he can, your voice puts him to a stop, “would you stay with me? Just for a little while” he freezes before turning back to you. You can tell by his facial expression he wants to say ‘really?’ but no words come out of his mouth. You only nod at him before seeing a small smile appear on his face.

He shuffles back over towards your bed as you open up the blanket to let him in. He hesitates but slowly gets into bed with you. Subconsciously his arm wraps around you to bring himself closer to you, as a warm smile appears on your lips. “Ok, I’ll stay.” He mumbles as he watches you slowly drift off to sleep.

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #kny #x reader #fluff #@.komoboko writes #headcanon #kny fluff #genya #genya shinazugawa #kny genya #genya x reader #genya shinazugawa x reader #period comfort #afab reader #afab nonbinary #I LOVE GENYA 😁😁‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

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exotic-afterhours · 11 months

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hello! I was just wondering if you write for polys? I read over your rules but I didn’t see anything about that. so if you’re okay with it then could I request poly relationship headcannons with tanjiro and genya. (they’re my favorites) but feel free to ignore this if you’re uncomfortable! have a good day!

Hello! I am sorry if this isn’t the best but I’ll try my best too write this! And Thank you for the request I hope you like it!!

G/n reader

Poly relationship with Tanjiro and Genya!!

How it happened!

•let’s say you and tanjiro were already together, you both met Genya during the sword smith arc. You know when you and your friend are both thinking the same thing that’s what happened with you guys

•now asking Genya was a whole mission of itself if we’re gonna be truthful

•you and tanjiro as genya over dinner, it took him too think and understand it but after that he said yes!!

Cuddling

•Tanjiro runs warm naturally(canon) so definitely during the winter you and genya cling too him

•genya likes to be held sometimes extra points if you rub his back or hold his hand

•tanjiro likes to hold you guys it makes him feel like he can protect y’all

• genya snores loud as hell he sakes the whole house

Hand holding

•tanjiro’s hands a rugged and rough but not in the weird uncomfortable way but in the nice calming way plus there warm

•genya has cold hands but his hands are surprisingly soft

•you sometimes are in the middle when you all hold hands

How others found out

•Nezuko has known since y’all first got together

•inosuke is/was confused but doesn’t care

•Zenitsu is shocked/annoyed that tanjiro has two s/o and he has none

•semi…lord pray because he was livid he was mad at all three of you but in the end is happy that genya is happy

•Uzui + his wives were nothing but existed of you guys

•giyuu was well giyuu doesn’t really mind but hopes for the best

I hope this was good if there is any spelling errors please let me know.

If you have a request please ask and if I don’t have something in my rule and you want too know if I write it please ask and I’ll let you know!!

Also if you want to be tagged in my writings please let me know as well!

Much love 🕷️

#x reader #kny x reader #shinaguzawa genya #genya x reader #tanjiro x reader #kny x you #hotaru haganezuka #gyomei himejima x reader #haganezuka x reader #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #🕷️.writes

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reticent-writer · 1 year

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ok so how about the hashiras meeting male reader who's also a hashira and he is like short and fast with his weapons being daggers and the hashiras don't think much of him being childlike but when fighting demons his fast and deadly his personality still childlike but blood everywhere

😁

♛┈⛧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

Walking towards kagaya's estate you wore a smile taking in your new surroundings. You had just defeated a lower moon and were made into the newest hashira.

On your way to a hashira you were ready to meet the others.

When you arrived you got looks from everyone.

"Is he really the new hashira?" Tengen gave you a pointed look as you walked in front of them and bowed.

"Yes I am Y/n, the new (element) hashira it's nice to meet you all." You said raising from the bow with a smile.

"But your just a child how could yo-" tengen was cut off by Rengoku.

"Don't judge based on looks, my friend. Y/n has successfully defeated lower moon one. I should know, I had the chance to fight along side him when he was still a Kinoe."

He was lowkey scared of you but respected you nonetheless.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

At first tengen didn't know what to think off you. He knows your not an actual child but he can't help but treat you like one

Tengen liked your spark. You never lost your smile in battle, after taking heavy hits and just laughing them off.

You were like a miny him. Twins blades and all.

When it came time for you and him to have a mission together, you took the lead.

Fought the demon like you were playing a game.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Shinobu has never seen you fight but she has patched you up after missions.

She heard from the lower ranks how terrifying you could be. They would describe in detail how you would smile while torturing demons until they beg you to kill them.

"Oh my~ How interesting."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You and Muichirou went on a lot of missions together.

Spending a lot of time around him, he gave you some of his attitude. You sit next to him during the hashira meetings.

When fighting

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Sanemi is scary but not as scary as you.

You might not have many scars but you don't need any with your very unsettling act goes 100 when fighting. After killing the demons you turn around like nothing happened and go on about your day.

He likes the fact that you can scare demons away just by looking at him. the same way he can.

Poor genya tho, though he's not going to confront you but, he does see you and sanemi a lot.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Obanai is wary of you. Mitsuri of course admired you.

The three of you went on a mission and you took care of it mainly by yourself losing your childlike personality while fighting.

Obanai was glad that you could kill demons without reading into the reasons why they were fighting.

Mitsuri on the other hand thought that you were very cute. Your mannerisms and how efficiently you took care of everything were very admirable to her.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You and Giyuu barely talk. He keeps his opinions to himself most of the time.

Giyuu being the cool calm and collected person he is wasn't affected by your childish ways. He thought of it as you hold on to your innocence for as long as you could.

That changed when he saw you fight.

He liked having missions with you, they were a change of pace that he could get used to.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Gyomei was another person not rattled by your nature.

He also wasn't surprised by the way you fight in fact he was impressed.

You often trained and meditated with him. Aside from muichirou, he was your favorite to be around.

♛┈⛧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

An: midterm week is finally over. For anyone else you had test all this week I hope you did well and if your about to take tests. Take your time and go with what ever feeling right.

#male reader #kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #child reader #x child reader #tengen x reader #rengoku x reader #giyuu x reader #obanai x reader #mitsuri x reader #shinobu x reader #sanemi x reader #muichirou x reader #gyomei x reader

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myhairpintrigger · 1 year

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hi hi hi i would like to request fluff for thee one and only Aleksander where reader gets really sick maybe a very high fever and maybe he panicked and called heartrenders and healers because he thought she might die and it ends all fluffy and soft Aleksander 😶‍🌫️

soft Aleksander yes pls <3 I love.

warnings: none, mostly angst and some fluff

word count: 2.3k

Just a Cough

(aleksander morozova x fem!reader)

It all started with a cough. A silly little harmless cough, of which you assured Aleksander after a few days of the persistent cough that there was nothing to worry about. Being sick was just a part of life for you, but apparently according to your loving husband, it wasn’t for him. In fact, upon asking him, the stoic faced general had stated that he’d never been sick in his entire life, and come to think of it, in your four year long marriage, you hadn’t seen him sick even once. He promptly thereafter reminded you that Grisha do not get sick as you did and you accepted this answer.

It was just a cough.

That’s what you kept insisting, even after it had been weeks. Though he’d never been sick, Aleksander was no stranger to illness, and stopped believing that it was only a cough. Just like clockwork, the second he began to suspect it was a bit more serious than you’d been insisting, you got worse.

Soon you were hardly able to keep food down, dizzy when you stood, the cough had gotten worse, and every night you’d run fevers. He brought you medicines given to him by the Royal Family, had doctors see you, and nothing was working.

He hardly left your side, and when he did, someone was always there to keep an eye on you, and though you swore it wasn't necessary, his response was always the same:

“You are only mortal, my love. I will not take risks.”

So here you lay, on your marvelous four-poster bed while a young Grisha healer sat at your bedside, flipping idly through a book, glancing up at you every so often to make sure you were okay before she’d go back to her reading. A tap on the door pulled you out of your sick haze and your eyes fell upon Genya as she walked into the room.

“You may leave. I can keep watch on The General’s wife.” she spoke to the girl next to your bedside, and the girl wasted no time in getting up and scurrying out.

You let out a miserable sigh and placed your hand over your eyes to shield the light, much preferring the company of your husband, “Oh, my. Is he almost done with whatever he’s doing? I need him to block the light.” you rasped and Genya only laughed and stood in the doorway.

“He cannot be too much longer, y/n.” she replied and you groaned.

“What did the Heartrender say?” you asked and opened your eyes to look up at Genya hopefully.

The red haired girl wandered over to your side and checked your temperature with the back of her hand, letting out a sigh of displeasure, “Well, she couldn’t deduce much except for that your heart is healthy, which is good. Your husband has ordered for one of our best healers to be removed from the frontlines and brought here to help. You're getting hotter, by the way.” she said with a frown.

“Genya, the last three healers haven’t made any progress.” you stated fearfully and she responded to you with nothing but silence and she grabbed the cool, damp cloth off of your nightstand that had been left there by the girl previous. She laid the cloth on your forehead and finally gave a sigh.

“We have very limited knowledge on what is ailing you. If a doctor couldn’t find a conclusion then it is very hard for us to know what to heal.” she explained in a gentle tone, “have you had any water today? Aleksander won’t be pleased if you haven’t.” she said quietly and you simply pulled the covers over your head and let out a terrible, wheezing cough.

Tears fearfully made their way into your eyes and you shook your head, though the Tailor could not see you, “I just want Aleksander.” you whimpered through a wheeze, your throat burning terribly with every word. You hadn’t even known Genya had left until you lifted the blanket and poked your head out to see why it had fallen so silent and you looked around the empty room and let out a painful sob.

You buried your face in your frail hands and let out hoarse cries until you felt the bed dip next to you, prompting you to wipe your eyes with the heels of your hands and you lifted your head to see your husband sitting at your side, his face completely colorless as he looked over you. You weakly sat up and pushed yourself into his lap with whatever strength you could muster, which must not have been much because you found yourself being easily lifted by Aleksander and pulled into his lap. You laid your head on his collarbone and you let out a shaky breath and you weakly grabbed onto the lapels of his kefta.

“Am I going to die?” you asked suddenly, the question that had been plaguing your mind for weeks now, the question that you were too afraid to speak out loud. The question both of you were asking silently. The question that made Aleksander kiss you on the forehead every time he left the room, that made him hold you a little bit tighter every chance he got, that had him terrified for perhaps only the second time in his life. The question that made him fear leaving your side, afraid to return to a lifeless form in his bed.

He didn’t answer right away, but the stiffness in his voice gave away everything he must have been thinking, “You are mortal.” was all he said before he tightened his arms around you, being careful not to hurt you in your fragile state.

His reply only caused you to cry again, and this time you could feel him crying with you. You didn’t see his face nor did you hear him; you didn’t have to. His shaking shoulders told you enough. He brought his cold hand up to your forehead and he held it there, occasionally swiping his thumb across one of your temples. To even meet the possibility of your death this soon was frightening and angering to Aleksander, and it had been the cause of several outbursts of anger in nights past in rooms far from your shared bedroom, to ears far from yours. He wasn’t supposed to be the one that was scared here, he was supposed to be the strong one that had the solutions. The answers. His highest obligation to you was to protect you at all times, defend you, his mortal, very breakable, wife. But there was no enemy to fight, no weapon to use to defend you. There was just you. Poor, sick, miserable little you, and this killed him. He lost sleep to this, he lost his appetite to this, and he was certain that if he was to lose you to this, he’d lose his mind, too.

“Aleksander, everything hurts.” you whispered, your voice hardly going higher than that. He grit his teeth angrily and simply pulled you closer, shushing you. He wasn’t good with comforting. His words weren’t often gentle unless directed at you, and it wouldn’t matter anyway. Words were completely lost on him as he sat in paralyzing fear that he could very well lose you to illness.

He finally found the voice he’d been chasing around his throat and he reached up to soothingly pet your hair, “Oh, my darling, you must get some sleep. You aren’t going to die,” he promised, though he was beginning to fear he could not see to that promise being kept, “We have a healer coming for you, my little angel. I’d never let you succumb to whatever this illness may be.” he said hollowly, almost wincing when the little voice in his head told him not to make promises he couldn’t keep. Losing you meant losing a vital piece of himself.

“It’s punishment, Aleksander. There is nothing you can do.” his mother had drawled when he had come to her practically on his knees, begging for a way to save his wife.

“Do you really think the fates would allow you to be happy after all you have done? You should have left her alone, now she is paying for your sins as well, there’s no one to blame except for you.” she had said coldly, leaving Aleksander with a guilt that had taken him days to even partially recover from. He’d deny it to the haggard old woman’s face but deep down he agreed.

Lost in thought, he barely noticed that the stroking of your hair had lulled you into sleep, and your sudden stillness caused him to panic as he quickly laid his hand over your chest, only to feel relief wash upon him like a million crashing waves when he felt the shallow rise and fall of your chest. He finally willed himself to gaze down upon your sunken face and he traced his fingertips over your now very prominent cheekbones and jawline, and his lips turned downwards. You, his wife, the only light in his shadowy life, lay so lifelessly on his lap. He couldn’t help but think of the sick irony of it all, how he’d considered you his light when he himself could only summon the dark. The irony wasn’t lost on him at all there, bitterly so. A small tap on the doorframe made him slowly tear his eyes away from you and he raised one eyebrow at David who stood there awkwardly.

“I hope you have a very groundbreaking reason to be here interrupting the time I am spending with my wife.” Aleksander said in a clipped tone and David simply nodded once.

“The healer has arrived. He’d like to see her.” he answered, causing Aleksander to sigh once.

“David, three Healers and every Heartrender under my roof couldn’t even cure her. We need to start focusing on alternative methods to keep her alive. By any means possible.” he said lowly and the man at the door only nodded again, “but please,” Aleksander added, “bring the healer to me. Let us see what he can do for my y/n.” he conceded.

David motioned to someone who must have been just past the doorframe down the hall and a tall man walked into the room and looked down at the vulnerable, sickly form of The General’s wife laying in her husband’s lap, “Sir, this is the most experienced and talented healer we could find, he has the most experience in-”

“Can you help her?” Aleksander snapped, cutting David off.

The healer didn’t answer but rather walked towards the two of them on the bed and he placed his hands on either side of your head, and the new contact had your eyes snapping open instantly with panic. Your husband gently tightened his grip around you and informed you softly that it was only a healer, and you relaxed a bit and closed your eyes again, a ragged breath being drawn from your lips.

In reality the healer only had his hands upon your head for five minutes, but it felt like hours to your fear-stricken husband who watched the display before him desperately. Finally, the healer took his hands off of you and he reached up to feel your forehead before he looked up at your husband and nodded, “The fever has broken. Give her two or three days to fully recover, but she will not grow any sicker, and she certainly will not perish.”

Aleksander looked down at you with wide eyes and then back at the healer, “Why won’t she open her eyes?” he asked worriedly, his eyes threatening to water.

The healer chuckled and stood up straight, “She’s exhausted, General Kirigan. I put her to sleep. But make no mistake- she is healed.”

Aleksander’s lips moved but no sounds came out, so he settled for a stunned nod, and the healer gave him a slight smile before he headed out of the bedroom, followed by David. Your husband reached up promptly to feel your head, the past five minutes seeming entirely too good to be real, and he expected to feel your feverish skin. Instead, he was met with the completely normal temperature of your skin as you slept against him. He sucked in a shaky breath and leaned down to press a lingering kiss to your now cooled forehead and he stayed with you like that for a long time before he lifted his head. He swaddled your small form in a blanket and he sat with you just like that in his lap for hours, and he’d stay there for as long as he needed to.

When you finally woke some hours later, the first thing you noticed was that there was no searing pain behind your eyes any longer, and you looked up to see the face of your husband staring back down at you, his eyes misty and full of feelings you were sure he likely didn't have the words for.

"You look like hell." you commented with a short laugh and Aleksander rolled his eyes and pulled you up against his chest tightly, and you laid your ear over his heart, listening to it beat steadily.

"I was certain I was going to lose you." he said finally, his voice full of what you recognised to be pain.

"But you didn't."

"But I could have." he countered and buried his face in your hair, "And what then? What would I have done then?" he asked demandingly and you frowned, his disdain making your heart ache.

"Well, then I suppose you're just going to have to find a way to make sure that we never have to fear that again, won't you?" you asked, and he thought about it for a moment before he shrugged and tucked your head underneath his bearded chin.

"Yes. Yes, I suppose I will."

And in the silence of your shared bedroom he swore that no matter the cost, he’d find a cure for your mortality, a way to keep you alive for just as long as he.

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