#YOU KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT FOLKS

[big-boah]

The only thing I have to say about the autism support needs & masking discourse:

There are people who haven't been talked to like a baby by a stranger in real life, and it shows.

#autism #high support needs #actually autistic #autism things #masking #tw infantilization #i am visibly autistic/disabled #and i know my fellow autistics and disabled friends who have higher support needs know what I'm talking about #I'm too tired to get involved #but a lot of friends have interesting and valid points #i know that a lot of folks are helped by things being broken down and That's fine #im that way sometimes too #I'm talking about others being condescending and assuming your needs without talking to you like anyone else #because of being visibly autistic

[dolokhoded]

80-ish jesus 'verse disciple headcanons pt. 1 (peter, john, magdalene)

[ bc i gotta put those somewhere. i still dont know if this is set in the actual 80s in a normal timeline or if the whole universe is completely made up. i'll figure it out. shit's hard when jesus' existence as some normal living dude implies a definitive aspect of today's society doesn't exist at all yet ]

PETER

jesus’ right hand man yadda yadda

the most repressed man you will ever meet

very loyal, but quite close minded. until he meets jesus, at least, that’s peter’s whole thing

he really does believe the things jesus stands for but it's hard to change the mindset he was raised on in a day

he learns to accept people who are different than him. he learns to accept himself while we’re at it. ANYWAYS

peter gets married in his early twenties. not entirely because of religion or tradition or whatever, he really did love his wife and because they were in their twenties and they were stupid they found it to be the next logical step in their relationship

he’s poly

he doesn’t realize this until after he’s married and represses it forever despite literally being surrounded by queer people (assume everyone is queer unless i explicitly say they're not)

he sorts it out eventually. illa knows

that's his wife. she's a chemist and an environmental activist, they do love each other very much but they get divorced in the end because she gets offered a job in a project in norway that i would elaborate on if i knew jack about science, and decides she wants to live in different countries and travel the world

moral of the story don't get married when you're twenty and don't know what you want to do with your life yet

has some sort of personal feud with magdalene ???

she thinks it’s cause he hates women

it sort of is. he feels threatened by her. but also he wouldn’t care this much if it wasn’t personal

(really he's just very attracted to her. he doesn't like her, he doesn't exactly love her but they do feel closer to each other than all the other disciples but he's not in love with her. it's the same for her. but she's aro. they have a weird thing going on don't ask me, it's definitely a little intensified just because they never acknowledge or discuss it but whatever)

i know i’m making this guy seem like a major asshole and that’s because he is. but also they all are. he’s working on it !

andrew’s older brother and also the exact opposite of andrew

deep down he kind of envies him

peter works his family's business, at least until he cuts his parents off. don't ask me what the business is it doesn't matter

sells fishing equipment or something

can cook with some assistance. not kitchen banned.

JOHN

grew up with very open-minded parents, but was still very sheltered.

he's a youngest child, so he was a little fussed over. his mother was very protective of him which led to him moving out of the family home and having to call his brother to ask how you make a doctor appointment

then having said brother james make the appointment for him because he was shy

idea guy. very creative very innovative. not always successful but at least his brain somewhat works?

the youngest of the group. 24 when big james was 28, jesus was 30, peter and magdalene were 32. i'll come up with a comprehensive age chart soon

majored in journalism when he joined the group, met matthew in class and roped him in

decided to change his major to creative writing

uses a typewriter to write. i haven't decided exactly what the fuck is going on with this verse, i'm leaning towards setting it in the 80s where everyone uses typewriters anyways but it's important that you know john would use a typewriter even if he had access to a laptop.

(with recycled paper of course)

likes to doodle on the margins when he's editing his shit. he's very right brained.

judas' narrative foil, therefore they hate each other

they don't full on scream death threats at each other at meetings like peter and magdalene but the passive aggression is there

LMAO ALL I TALK ABOUT IS THIS GROUP FUCKING HATING EACH OTHER i swear deep down they love each other uhhhh

matthew, he likes matthew. they're writing buddies

and peter and simon z and little james. and mary beth. john's cool with magdalene too

and philip and thad. everyone likes philip and thad they have 0 enemies

and everyone likes jesus. except judas who doesn't but it's okay cause he's in love with him.

some of them they like each other i promise. anyways, sorry, john.

cannot cook, but not kitchen banned

MAGDALENE

mary magdalene. obviously.

we have around three hundred marys so she goes by magdalene. though i find it more fitting anyways.

magdalene didn't know her father, her mother was lovely but she died of cancer when she was 10. susanna is the daughter of her godmother who lost custody of her when susanna was 15 because she had a drug addiction

so like. starting out with some lovely stuff

magdalene was in foster care until she was 16. then susanna turned 18 and she lived with her, finished school and started working any random job that helped them make rent

susanna is the only person magdalene can always rely on. and vice versa. she's a barber.

which i thought of before i realized susanna is also the name of the wife of figaro barber of seville. but isn't that hilarious.

anyways it's been rough for these two but it gets better i promise. they make it.

magdalene's working like three jobs trying to make enough to go to university, she wants to be a social worker. preferably work with inmates.

she's aropansexual

weird thing with peter is not of romantic nature. maybe queerplatonic except they're not friends. queeraggressive if anything.

it's just a thing. it's a sixth sense only aromantic people can comprehend. don't question it.

despite everything magdalene is an optimistic person. she's got a grasp on reality, but she's not scared of having her own dreams and ambitions, she's not going to let her past stop her from moving forward

she's had one serious girlfriend before she realized she didn't want to be in a romantic relationship at all and it was fucking crazy

she was very insecure already and magdalene kept enabling it by constantly ignoring her and seeming disinterested (which she was cause she was aro) which made the girl feel like she was only using her for sex and then she started getting paranoid and accusing her of cheating on her and it rlly escalated. crazy shit.

the girl was like. slightly more reasonable than magdalene is and one day just decided that aight im out of here and left. and then magdalene had a breakdown and tried to convince her not to leave because she needed to prove to herself that she was capable of love

yeah my girl is not okay. did you expect her to be well in her brain cause she's not

so yeah crazy shit. she works through it.

cannot cook. kitchen banned.

#bible fandom #im not religious just insane.jpg #dolokhoded bible #<- im gonna use this one exclusively for the lore #i know i have a billion tags. but i will do it anyways #cause the not religious just insane tag has the stupidest shit dumped in it #anon who said you'd like to read these i love you #i love these guys i love talking about them. their brains are wrong ! #i could literally talk about my dolokhoded bible folks forever #they're all assholes #they're doing their best though

[caffeinatedopossum]

That sad realization that not only did the undiagnosed autism lead to me not realizing my "friends" were actually bullying me the whole time I knew them but I was also unintentionally doing something similar to neurotypical friends because I didn't understand how we thought differently

#i just want yall to know that when i first wrote undiagnosed my phone autocortected that to undigested so. yeah #you heard it hear folks. autism is undigestable. thats why we all got tummy problems #anyway this is why is struggling with communication and maintaining relationships is a symptom #although my relationships always seem fine to *me* because im oblivious as fuck #and this is why autism questionnaires need to be phrased differently #alsp yeah. thinking about that one time i went to a summer camp and i joked about a girl in mine and my friends dorm #who was sleep talking that night. and one of the counselors immediately shamed me for bullying #like we were all there and awake. everyone already knew and laughed so i assumrd it was funny #but then suddenly *I* was being mean...? i understand more now but i wish someone explained it to me more gently #why did everyone laugh it was mean? i thought they laughed because it was funny #still dont understand why people laugh if something is hurtful. i didnt want to insult the girl either #i considered us friends and i was just trying to include her in the conversation #it was still not ok though... #theres another time that comes to mind when i said matter of factly that my sister was a liar #in front of her boyfriend who then very aggressively silenced me #i didnt understand why you would lie if you cant accept being a liar #it wasnt meant as an insult it was meant as the truth #but maybe if it was insulting she should stop lying #idk it was really weird #maybe this is why i didnt realize people where insulting me #because to them they were picking on me #but to me they were either stating a fact or falsely accusing me #i get embarrassed too of course but only because its whats expected of me #that makes me feel scared and inferior and alone. and thats what embarrassment feels like for me #it feels like everyone is unforgivingly looking at me with a magnifying glass

[eskildit]

.

#it is so hard for me to describe to other people the alarm bells that go off with the way that certain people talk about palestinians #and im including anti-zionist folks when i say that #i think its one of those things that when you know you know #but you read something and its like. yeah i dont think this person actually cares about palestinian lives #or at least they only do to a very specific extent #anyway. being indulgent and forgiving etc for people who dont know better or are new and learning #not everyone has a lifetime of recognizing islamaphobia! #anyway. hard part about not being around a lot of middle eastern people these days! bit of a lonely experience #note to self will delete later

[transmascsonicthehedgehog]

i'm not like. a fan of south park or anything, but i thought about making fanart ironically just for the shitty design aspect. would you unfollow me if i did? /genq

if you mean making art to make fun of the awful designs that's fine because the show deserves all the mockery it gets; i'm speaking of unironic fanart that people made with trying to make the characters cutesy, woobify or god forbid ship them while ignoring the various issues regarding the characters AND the show itself ( i.e "we make fun of everyone!!!!!", shit excuse for a shitty ass show ) if you get me

#ive reblogged a few posts about this actually #tiktok users latching onto the show and slapping queer/nd headcanons onto the cast while plugging their ears- #and going ''i dont support the show i just like the boys/ships'' when called out is ignorance. the show is violently against anything- #related to queer or disabled folk. or religious folk. people of color. etc. it loves to jab at anyone that isnt white or cishet. #and the fact that people allow it because ''it makes fun of EVERYONE'' is IGNORANT. #anyway. #tldr no i wont be unfollowing you ( whoever you are!! i genuinely dont know who sent this ) if its supposed to be mockery or ironic #im talking GENUINE unironic fanart and loud vocal support. #justin replies

[kirbyddd]

barkbarkbark Riichi Book I's writing is like screeching chalkboard to my game designer's, translator's, and writer's ears all at once

it's got great concepts buried in there but it's in like the most anti-comprehension packaging conceivable

#what the hell is wrong with you #folks like you are the BANE of game designers everywhere #and game PLAYERS for that matter #THIS is the best strategy reference the English speaking world's got? #baddabingbaddaboom ladies and gentlemen #im about to make bank writing the West's first riichi primer that actually meets the standards of the modern analogue game industry #(which to be honest is abysmal right now the industry's in an insane 'text free' fad right now where every word is replaced with a symbol) #alright then im gonna set the new standard then #imma bout to do for Riichi Mahjong what i did for Ryuutama Traversées 🫸🤛 #and for all the dudes at unpub who know how to design incredible games but dont know how to write instructions #alright sorry I'll calm down #but seriously i am gonna start throwing together an actually quality-controlled guide #cause every english resource ive found so far has been like this... inconsistent and full of holes and omissions in explanations #chiba talks about the game's strategic immaturity in the west... well it's got an even bigger gap of educational immaturity #anyways.... I'll toss a bit of effort that way #we'll see how far i take it #I'll either make a few loose articles or a fully fledged book. no in between #god i dont have the energy to make another book when i dont even know if Traversées is ever gonna see the light of day #100% complete full color layout and everything. publishing limbo is real and it's every bit as stupid and unnecessary as you think. #(my case is much simpler than most though cause im only working with two small publishers rather than a big corp) #but still. damn #anyways im so tempted to throw some of my rulebook magic at riichi while it's got my interest #not like i need to write a strategy tome the game just needs a professional quality introduction #don't make me do it i absolutely will do it #i did it for ryuutama when no one wanted to give a decent publication-quality localization for the supplements #and by garriot i will do it for riichi mahjong too if no one gives me a quality guide. i aint afraid of a global high strategy game #<- manic #(im not manic im just extremely restless having not been able to do any solid design work in a while and this book is getting me riled up) #cause it's like “i could write such a more coherent rulebook and HAVE written a more coherent rulebook. so why don't i do it again?” #the Disease is why. but maybe I'll give it a shot anyways if i get a second wind (i guess im otakaze right now harharharhar)

[mihai-florescu]

Happyele is never going to give me Undead going to Romania event so i'll have to draw it myself one day but. Ok the plot changes every day in my head and right now i'm fixated on the idea that kaoru starts getting very vivid nightmares but he's just dreaming he's in random romanian bac books (i used to be an og ro bac tiktoker turned enstars fan ok let me have this). I just have the picture of kaoru as vitoria lipan looking for rei (as nechifor), adonis as gheorghiță and eventually koga as. Lupu... just picture it with me for a second. Thank you

#it started as me wanting to draw ciobanul rei; miorița adonis; koga as a dog (but like. anthropomorphic for both of them) & kaoru #fata de crai #or another sheep i wasnt too sure #i am well aware i shouldve just written this in romanian cuz 99% of you dont know what im talking about anyway #however. who knows #maybe you happened to read romanian folk tales

[oscill4te]

everything always peaks me. then im on the other side, see so much hostility, just as bad as what peaked me, and its like nvm. damn. oscillation at its finest.....

#i made a post like this before but i fell into a very bad trap where i just ranted about “both sides” and thats never really helpful #i think there is just a lot of “us VS them” in this world. no one is ever willing to hear others out. they just look at characteristics #of yours and make broad assumptions about you. #i dont know. i feel like everyone in my generation is so willing to jump for your throat these days for different opinions #its their right of course; but i dont know. its like if you have even a slightly different opinion on something; you cant discuss it 2gethe #i want to meet some other fellow normies man; idk #and i say that as someone who isnt really “normal” in most peoples eyes #but i can chill and talk with ppl who have diff opinions from me as long as... they arent super hostile and think in black&white... #mostly feminism and lgbt stuff im talking abt here but yeah. i just want this world to be safe for women & lgbt+ folks yknow #i base a lot of my opinions on that #im trying to just. not care anymore. im just a human at the end of the day and so is everyone else #everything feels so black and white. i just want to belong somewhere. i dont know. #my parts all have different opinions on things so i never have a stable stance on anything #i just try to have compassion and reduce my cognitive dissonance as much as possible #that led me to veganism. lgbt rights. feminism. but even within these groups there is so much hate and fighting #i cant pretend i dont fall into the black and white thinking but i always actively try to challenge it #i tell myself: the world is not out to get you. but why does it feel like it is? clearly everyone else feels like that too

[pixeldotgamer]

I've posted photos of how chaotic my illustration brainstorm pgs are but heres an artistic recreation of what my project notebooks end up looking like

#random rambles #this brainworm project is a horror podcast #im gonna be formalizing all the prpject notes into obsidian soon me thinks #i got a few game concepts tumbling about #along with some comics/zines and now this podcast #so i need to line all my ducks (projects) up and decide which one to shoot (develop full time) #i kinda bounce between things as my ideas and motive flow #but i wanna finish some stuff soon so im prob gonna focus in on a smaller project and go from there #aint no race but i know there are some folks ive talked to my games about who are very 👀 about progress #(if you are one of those ppl ily cause u help me realize my ideas are fun and ppl would wanna actually see them lmao)

[flamboyant-king]

Happy New Years!

I hope to show up more often on here with art to share!

Maybe just posting dumb stuff, but I also hope to see y’all more often too. 

\(^o^) Cheers!

#i want to be more disciplined this year and actually work towards something artistically #maybe making more comics or work on a game or improve my art even #maybe sell merch or consistently do commissions. Its so inconsistent because of all my doubt ya know #I gotta be my first fan and love eveything i do #i need to have something to show for my passions before my parents die #or they are gonna die knowing i have not achieved anything. In things they wanted orwhat i wanted #and i want to show them that i believe in myself for once #ive done nothing worth talking about. I have nothing to bring to the dinner table #i have n o t h i n g because no one let me choose what i wanted #My parents will not have anything to be proud of and its theirs and my fault #so i just need to do something. S o m e t h i n g #i could have been something. I could have had anything #but alas. My hands are empty. My legacy is blank. And my future is clouded. #but i need to have love for myself and what i do #i see folks who arent popular who arent that skilled doing things i wish i could do #and they have confidence. They love themselves. They are passionate. #i had passion but i dont have love and i dont have confidence #i tried. I did. I had a year i didnt self depreciate at all. But you know when you get crushed to bits you kind of fall back #for over a decade i wanted to table at an artist alley. For years i wanted to sell merch #for yearsi wanted to make a business card just to be like haha look at me im a professional #i have no confidence in myself. I have no love for myself. I have no faith in myself. Because no one had those for me. #my brothers had some faith in me. But when my wrist just died it just disappeared #they still send me art job openings opportunities contests internships etc #and i never go for it #because i have so little faith in myself that i just dont even try #i just want someone to be there right next to me and help me through it #I want my brother to be there next to me helping me apply. I want my parents with me helping me try #i want my friends with me to guide my hand to that submit button. That apply button. #i think yeah all of my faith died when i couldnt go to art college. They really wanted me i was ready and i applied there all on my own #but no. But no. But nonononono. I need a high paying job like engineering and comouter science

[999-roses]

@ihatethewest is a radfem who has a huge terf following and often interacts with other radfem blogs (if you search "feminism" on their blog, it's all from radfems)

Anon I think if you go tell them about it directly, it might resolve your issue??

inb4 the rest: I haven't contacted her before posting this reply;; anon i did take your suggestion to search her blog under 'feminism' and originally did see some questionable posts. but as I'm typing this response, I refreshed the search and it appears that she's actively removing rbs from radfems, maybe she got shinigami eyes a little late in the game, who knows. so... anon. did I do anything wrong? I don't think I've reblogged posts with terf radfem content but please let me know if I did thanks 👍

this is not an invitation for any radfems/terfs thinking my blog is friendly to you lot. you will be welcome here once you dismantle the hateful ideology from your mind and are no longer a radfem including you 'cryptos'

#asks #anon #the girls are fighting.txt #I mean if I've rb'd any specific posts that have harmful rhetoric pls let me know. I'll delete it #because yeah. I don't support any transphobia or misandry #while tumblr does seem to want to suggest 'blogs like this one' that have those components of radfem off of @ihatethewest's blog. #i don't see posts of that flavor on their blog? maybe she was radfem back in the day but i'd say it looks like she's not anymore #idk maybe that's where a lot of people start & then realize there are many parts of it that are bad!! u can talk to them directly about it? #I don't want to judge people purely by their past as if their current actions/change don't count. #i don't want to subscribe to 'once an x always an x' especially when it comes to ideology. which is something that CAN change #this is also like the 2nd blog that someone's told me is a radfem but also happens to be black ??? #the other one was legit BAD w/ terf shit tho. like that was deserving of calling out. also the person who told me wasnt anon #<- im NOT saying that being black is an excuse/shield for terfism NOR am i saying that black feminism->radfem. #but is it a coincidence?? it is misogynoir on the part of anon???? whats going on folks. what. is. happening. #idk im tired. hey anon! you wanna tell me about other blogs that are for black liberation and aren't 'work with the establishment' liberal? #like im trying to get clued in to aligned struggles. clearly i have a void to fill wrt listening to black folk & im trying to remedy that #thru youtube and tumblr. purity policing is making it... annoying. also people's thoughts can change over time hello #exhibit A right here. I used to be a liberal & thought NPR was the bomb.com lmfao. u think people should start out perfect or be beheaded?? #chen yells at clouds. more at 10

[waterbearable]

rant about media literacy and genuine commitment to justice/equity for "leftists" below bc i'm. annoyed.

ok so. annoyance prompted by a twt post. nothing against the op, i don't know this person, this is really abt the content of the post itself. reproduced here:

Ngl if your show's opening villain monologue is just "disabled people deserve to be able to exist without constant suffering" and it's framed as ontologically evil, yeah go fuck yourself

on the surface, seemingly good point! seemingly good post! i certainly don't disagree with the idea on the surface. i am curious as to what this is referencing. apparently, it's referencing the show d*pesick. and here's the thing. this seems to remove DS from its context. granted, i've not watched the entirety of the show, but i have watched the episode and this scene. and sure, its villain is talking about how people deserve to have pain relief and disabled folks/folks that experience chronic pain should not have to constantly suffer. but the villain that op is talking about is literally a head of a private pharma company. i guarantee you that this man was not trying to innocently market a drug for disabled folks!!! and the show doesn't seem to be saying that pain management is bad-there are ppl in this show, first episode, experiencing severe pain from workplace injury that are shown in a sympathetic light. these people don't deserve to suffer. you don't want these people to experience pain-but you also don't want big pharma to be selling people pain medication that can be addictive!

i'm certainly not an expert in the subject or perfect in my interests, but i do care about health equity. i care about harm reduction-which means not throwing people who use substances to the side. it does not mean cutting off all access to substances and leaving people to suffer, whether they are using for pain management or not.

so what's my point?? my point is not that d*pesick is a good show. i couldn't care less. my point is that when we get takes like this, you're ignoring context in favor of the surface-level progressivism that is easy to promote on social media. you're ignoring history, you're often ignoring SEVERAL aspects of class, race, gender, ability, etc that play into larger societal problems.

and that is exactly how corporations and propaganda get you. because they can take the surface language of progressivism, they can take the language that you want to hear to feel safe and then screw you. they can talk about self-care and shame you for being mentally ill in the same breath. they can emphasize diversity and inclusion while alienating the people of color in the room. and if you are actually committed to serving communities, if you are actively committed to equity and justice, you have to be smart. you have to think critically.

#ari speaks #not tagging the show because i don't. know if people talk about it on tumblr but i don't. really want it to show up in the tags. #this isn't a super well thought out thing or anything i'm just like. we Have to think critically about these things. #cw addiction #(post is in the context of substance use) #sorry it's just. grinding my gears because i am getting. more entrenched in health equity work #and serving folks who have used substances/continue to use substances. #there's so many issues with how we treat the issue of substance use disorder/addiction and im NOT an expert. #but i am frustrated when we go 'wow you're really kicking disabled people here' when this is. #about the EXPLOITATION of people's pain for financial gain. #anyway. rant over! you are. welcome to interact i guess but like. this is string of thoughts and i'm not an expert pls don't clown.

[alastors-wife]

man i need to actually start talking to some of the gay + trans folks in my area

#I've seen some pretty cool & friendly people but im so exhausted most of the time </3 #I'd really love to have new people to hang out with and talk to #having a little friend group brings me so much joy #especially if it's all people that i trust and just really enjoy being around #hearing from and spending time with my friends is like the highlight of my day #and it's always nice to have more people to love #thats part of why i still use lex... it's not bad when it comes to just chatting with people #absolute garbage for hookups. but just trying to talk to people? its great #and pretty chill #and even if I don't talk as much as I'd like to bcuz of burnout + chronic illness flareups it still warms my heart to see the same ppl- #-interacting with me #like. ah yes i remember u. its good to see u again #and people are usually so sweet and helpful #esp if its people you already know are kind and compassionate people. warms my heart to have support no matter how subtle #getting to interact with my local community has been really healing #its good to have a reminder that there's still lgbt ppl who actually care about each other and want solidarity #and are vocal about their support #including for the people who need it most. it just makes me all that much more proud to be a trans lesbian #with every lgbt person i meet even if we don't wind up being like long-term friends or anything- #-i usually remember all of these folks fondly #don't doubt the impact of your presence even to someone you barely know #a lot of people will remember and care about you even if its in a distant kinda way #being perceived and existing in the minds and lives of other people doesn't have to be a scary thing

[evandorepart2]

ok anyway im leaving in. the day after tomorrow at like 2am so im just saying its tomorrow cause im literally just gonna stay up till then theres no point in sleeping. BUT two things. one i need to finish packing. my clothes are dry so i just have to bring them upstairs and pack. sort of stressed out bc like. i like my outfit i dont want to change it but everyones telling me its too hot for a leather jacket like i know!!!! but its my jacket :(

anyway i just have to do that so ill do it now and then…on top of that i wanted to get the draft for my ghost story done but i havent been working on it at all >_< ive just been reading comics the past couple days. so tomorrow. for sure. i will definitely work in getting the draft done totally.

but ugh im kind of nervous i havent seen these people in so long and im not great socially. also i dont go on trips in general so like. i hope i have energy for a full month yknow. i have a tendency of isolating myself when im stressed out but i dont have any space to do that…not that i should but whatever you know

#LIKE. im just eugh like im Bad at small talk. im better at dispensing information and leaving it that #or listening. ive been practicing listening a lot more so i dont overtalk and everyone gets a turn #OH RIGHT!!!! i hope. cause i have 4 cousins. two are toddler age #one is a little younger than me so like 13 but hes a boy idk how he is cause he might be annoying no offense <3 #and then an older girl whos around my brothers age so a few years older. and we never rlly talked cause it was always my brorher and her #last i saw them i was like. god idk it couldnt have been too young cause i got black out drunk before i stayed with them #so. 11? 12? definitely younger than 13 i know for a fact #im bad with times tho #anyway its been a while and im a lot older now. so i hope shes there so we can talk and be friends idk #apparently my brother isnt close to her anymore? he called her a bitch last time we talked abt her so. hope i do see her #and my aunt! i always liked her a lot and my brothers prob gonna be busy with our uncle. ill be stuck with the younger kids but thats ok i #dont mind since im used to handling my sister. apparently theyve wanted to meet me for a long time so i am super excited #i dont think anyones gonna expect what i look like tho lol i dont think anyone could have guess me being punk #not even me like i distinctly remember in elementary my friend. we were talking about mcr and emo / punk stuff and he was like. you coukd #never be like that. ummmmm well guess what dickhead!!!! jokes were actyally still close lol #ANYWAY i am fucking excited and nervous and have to find a normal way to bring up 18th century fashion or perhaps history of contemporary #folk

[diluc33rpm]

2/2 Do you have trust issues?

yeah dude where the hell did my assets go. think i have to sue the mf who ran away with them

#uhhhhHHHHHH #i don’t actually know how to answer this question #like... on the one hand i don’t THINK i have ‘trust issues’ per se but #on the other these asks are probably the most open i’ve been willing to be as of late and how do i do them.. by putting a joke in the post #and then proceeding to tuck my real answers away in the tags. which on my theme is effectively a collapsible hidebox. #so no one has to see them unless they opt in #good lord #i guess i kind of do? but for me i feel like i struggle to see it that way because it’s not as if i don’t take people by their word #(given i don’t have a reason not to obviously) #and i don’t particularly think my friends are gonna ditch me #i just. i don’t know how to talk to people about myself???? #i’ll go on like a madman about my interests every day of the week but when it comes to my thoughts and feelings outside of that #it seems inaccessible #i’ll be like oh i’m pretty genuine around people but the next second i realise do these bitches even know what my favourite colour is #contrary to my reputation outside of the bit i don’t think i ever lie to ppl outright. i just lie by reduction like a lot. like a lot a lot #and ig the logical extension to that is my bitch ass peacing out of existence for a while when things aren’t going so great for me #and promptly reappearing once i manage enough stability to be around folks again without going dead silent whenever im asked how i’ve been #only to be greeted with ‘???? BITCH WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU??? IT’S THE YEAR 2037 WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD’ #i hate how much i make people who care about me worry #but i also kinda don’t know how to solve that problem? ? ok google how do you be fine with the mortifying ordeal of being known #when in the first place you’re not sure how talking things out like that works #it’s weird. sometimes i think about how i’ve known my friends for years but i’m only just beginning to realise people want to be around me #and who don’t just interact when they need something from me or to have me answer their questions #not out of any mistrust towards them as individuals but moreso. ‘oh. this is a thing you can do? i didn’t realise that’ #just... didn’t know that was an option until it was presented i suppose #wow this is probably the most personal one of these’s gotten how’d that happen

[falled-over]

your politics must ALWAYS come from loving people first. dunking on people you hate should be the furthest thing from what drives your opinions. because if you don’t love the people you’re allied with, someone else will, and i can’t promise their politics will be as kind as your own are touted to be

#i once got a good way into writing an essay on why we asleftists failed jk rowling #because she was a fairly progressive person #as long as everything could still be about her a bit #but when someone in a progressive space gives a dangerous opinion there is a vocal minority that is so quick to other them #i don’t think it was my essay to write though #we can get so much further speaking to the enemy than fighting them. a movement always needs more allies #please don’t read these notes as excusing anything she has done by the way #i’m not saying she should have said it and gotten away with it #im saying i disagree with folk that use any opportunity they can to dunk on the fascists #when they should be looking for any opportunity to care for one another #which isn’t as fun! #or funny #so they don’t. #whatever. we have to be careful what we reward #‘you don’t know if her mind could have been changed’ i do actually #i talked to someone who was gender critical and actively moving toward becoming a terf #and spent a good week of my time listening to their points and explaining my own #in the end i just had to humanise trans women #and point out a handful of statistics #it worked #put in the hard work #my point is terfs accepted her with open arms. that will always be what drives political opinion