#YOU do NOT KNOW how my brain works

[ohno-the-sun]

Sol

#I’m just gonna put these here so I can rant about all the issues I see in the #so like I as an idiot was like let’s see if I can do a style study on qwille using my favorite boy right #but qwille a brain works in mysterious ways cause like I’m trying to hard to firgure out how they know where to put stuff #and of course the rendering is like that in between fully rendered and that more soft vague #which is gorge #but my brain when I do it is like you need to fix you need to fix this looks bad you suck blahblah #not to even mention the anatomy #which is completely fucked here #I can’t do shoulders to save my life #and he looks so dumb sitting on that box #like what’s wrong with his shoe #I know something’s wrong #I think I need to take a moment #I’m caught in one of those logic loops rn #blahhhhhh

[notbecauseofvictories]

It's interesting to feel the grey malaise of winter trying to drag you down, and know (know) that the answer is to get out of your apartment and talk to some human people, but also absolutely hate the idea so much. so. very much.

#I know all my posts these days are just ''reminder: you have to leave your apartment sometimes'' #but it is sisyphean how I have to keep doing this. #learning this over and over again. #I'm not even that interested in food lately which is. um. #a big flashing warning sign that Something Not Ideal is happening in my brain right now. #I took a nap after work. signs point to rough times a coming. #celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge

[congregation-of-the-spiral]

reblog this w the entity/entities you most align yourself with & why

#im curious to know whats most common #and the reasons behind certain ones #can't imagine people willingly aligning themselves with the flesh for example #so if you do #.. im interested in how your mind works #tma #tmagp #the magnus archives #the magnus protocol #smirke's fourteen #smirkes 14 #tma entities #helix speaks #for me personally its obviously the spiral #mainly cuz i got a lot of Brain problems #that mess w my perception #also a history of hallucinations #and its nice to blame them on me being just a little spooky 🤪 #cuz attributing them to their actual cause #is a Bummer

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.

His grey hairs are so earned

#Chilchuck tims #dungeon meshi #analysis #HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY #You know what yeah understandable have a good day #Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm #Anyways I’m def editing in the second page into that post that “I’ve got three people to think of here” sounds sooo much like that’s #How he’d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them 🥺 #I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. I’m planning so many #Compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol #He’s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!! #I’m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesn’t sound disjointed or insane to average readers #He’s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesn’t help #Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ‘dying doing something you love. Like drinking’ #Is nice in his opinion #This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what cost… #OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level. #‘I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)’ etc etc #Can’t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you 😏💡

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

happy halloween! hope everyone watched a scary movie that'll keep you up tonight but was nonetheless enjoyable! i sure did!

#AHA! AHAHA I FINISHED IT! BEFORE! MIDNIGHT! #is it my best work? eh. then again i never do Fully Rendered Lil Scenes so! #technically! its my best work in this category! #im not used to lighting and shading and Placing and scribbling objects #its... not Not fun! i should try it more. i should branch out. i always say this tho #anyway for some reason this took me alllllll fucking day #i have a headache now! its worth it! im gonna go pass out #and hope that the details Stick! #my tablet displays color/details differently than my phone and laptop so idk how it looks to you all! #i hope not terrible! #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #scopophobia #ok yes sleepytown time If My Brain Allows #and if my cat stops banging on cabinets! #technically all of the neighbors are in this. in candy form mostly #i tried to include only 70s candy but who knows if my research was accurate #i was delighted to see that pixy stix and necklace candy and ringpops are Older Than Expected! #all staple childhood candies imo #necklace candy my beloved... bottle caps my Beloved.... #i havent had bottle caps in so many years. maybe when i go to a big store this weekend ill get myself some

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

;3

#ninja showdown #my immortal soul #first ninja x chase young #rc9gn first ninja #first ninja #chase young #rc9gn #xiaolin showdown #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #me @ me; how many art tropes we gotta draw for those two? also me: yes ;) #listen. LISTEN. the world is kinda shit right now and im sad and so im drawing a lot of these two rn to comfort me #but instead of drawing all those great angsty soul-tearing ideas i had. do you know what my brain decided?? DO YOU??? #it saw a picture of Chase with wet hair and went: you know what would be very cool idea??? ;))) and i promptly sketched almost 20 pgs #comic where absolutely nothing actually happens but 14 of the pages contain half-naked wet men!!!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT #somehow its not even the worst thing i drew because right after that??? #my brain was like heehoo what about some love spell/pollen trope?? ;3 & i kid you not i doodled some of it and now im just sitting here #with my head in my hands wondering wtf am i doing as i stare at a doodle of love spelled first #so ye guess what im gonna be working on this month lol

[swagveryswagamazinf]

fro the qsmp cinema thingy¡¡

#qsmp #qsmp fanart #slimecicle #elmariana #my art #qsmp el mariana #qsmp slimecicle #qsmp tilin #el mariana #do I tag reanimator ¿ #I mean I don't knwo if you can consider it as reanimator #anyways I had to do tjsi fast yesterday and I ended up sleeping at 4 am #I had so much fun doing tjsi and I'm v happy bc i always wanted to draw something w this type of green #I LOVE RADIOACTIVE GREEN ITS MY FAVORITE GENDER THANK YOU EYES IM HAPPY TO SEE IT #also two years studying graphic design and it didn't work I didn't know how to do the poster #was struggling to make a silly quote bc my brain couldn't think of anything #at the end I gave up .. yeah .

[uncanny-tranny]

Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way) #(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle) #anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you... #...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition] #i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀 #even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭 #it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected... #...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[graveposting]

me when

me hwhen the------

the brainworms-

#i was thinking about fic ideas but this would have needed too much setup #writing a fic is a commitment you gotta stick around from the beginning to the end and #drawing the thing as one picture however is #uhhh #something something i really don't know man #just inject the gravecest straight into my veins already just fuck me up thank you #art by me #gravecest #coffincest #tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #technically safe for work but let's be real here #not safe for life #how's that gun taste andy #did you realize that's what she meant when she said she'd blow your brains o- #what do you mean that's even better #oh wait i forgot to tag the characters too #ashley graves #andrew graves #this image was so powerful it had to be dithered or else it would have killed everyone who looks directly at it #nsft

[abyssal-glory]

vector portrait for digital imaging class of RGB!! hey go read The Property of Hate if you haven’t already btw it’s an amazing comic by @modmad that i’ve been hotglued to since my junior year of high school.

big thank you to mod for giving their permission/blessing to wrestle with this horrible tv bastard in adobe illustrator for the express purpose of shilling him and this comic to my unsuspecting class <3

(edit: god okay pls click for fullscreen. hogy shit)

#tpoh #the property of hate #rgb #modmad #there’s a lot more i was planning to do w this but bleeeegggggjhhhh #i don’t own a laptop so i have to do all my hw for this class in the library + i live off-campus + i had office hours that day #7 hours in the library fighting with adobe illustrator on 5 hours of sleep and no food in my body said No You’re Done Now Actually #i have another project coming up that uses this one in it so i’m gonna get to make a diptych of this motherfucker next >:3 #tpoh’s been eating my brain again as of late holy hell the hyperfixation clobbered me #what the fuck is my art tag. do i even have an art tag #my art #nox art #there. perfectly serviceable >:p #btw the working file name for this was actually horribletvbastard.ai so . now you know that i guess #yes the halo effect is intentional. no i don’t no how to use adobe illustrate. further questions may be taken outside #anyway THANKS MOD I LOVE YOUR BOY AND YOUR COMIC AND YOUR ART <33333

[ya-boi-haru]

I have absolutely NO IDEA why...

But the fact that in "Unlocked" Connor admitted he couldn't actually see the wack on the tree properly due to his render being down so low (so he could have funky portal lighting) - so he's just playing along and trying his best...

Lives in my head RENT FREE-

And to make it worse, I STILL haven't even seen his POV on it, so it's truly just his word in the aftermath of it all - but I still think about it a lot-

#for that last part alone i think he needs to start paying rent #hes just a silly little guy #doing silly guy things #this is what happens when you have my brain #you see a cool effect? neat *i* see a cool effect i have to know how they did it and am trying to work it out while crying over lore #fable smp #fablesmpblr #fable smp lore #fable smp bloopers #ulysses #fable smp ulysses #connorsnothereeither #this mf i swear to god/lh/j

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Man, sometimes living alone with ADHD really do be like:

Me: Huh, I wonder why I'm so shaky and tired and seeing spots everywhere

Also me: *hasn't eaten food in two days, hasn't had water in just as long, has been hunched over current hyper fixation for hours without moving, hasn't seen sunlight in days*

Me: .... Just one of life's great mysteries I suppose

#ayo can i replace my sensors or something?? jfc i would love a check engine light pls and thx #i know its crazy but imagine if your body had a way of telling you that it needed water or food? like how wild would that be #huh? whats that? thirst? hunger? whos that? i don't know them #i LIKE food. i LIKE being hydrated. I LIKE being healthy. itd be super fucking cool if my brain actually worked and. y'know. told me shit #like when im about to die of dehydrated. itd be super fucking cool if it could do that #aaaaaaugggh #don't mind the rant. im cool. im fine. im just frustrated that my body refuses to cooperate with me and im shitty at knowing my tells #personal rant #adhd

[megueggu]

design piece of Jasper for Youso ✨

#sfw #clean furry #feline #cat #druid #moon druid #ttrpg #reference sheet #commission #my art #it's like a mini ref but you know #if ur wondering how i'm we still don't have hot water #it's been 15 days without hot water lol #and our washing machine broke second time today #but we are managing #im seeing a psychiatrist finally next week #and i rly rly rly hope i can get some meds #bc ive been off meds since sept and it's greatly affecting my mood and my work #i literally don't have any brain power to do art it's so frustrating lol #anyways love u guys thank you so much for being patient with me #im doing my best but i'm just super slow

[ryssbelle]

JD is going to ugly baby cry when he finally finds Clay? Like the overflow of Relief and happiness Will literally turns him into a blabbering mess That only Floyd can understand Because Floyd is the sensitive one.

I haven’t fully decided how the moment would go, there’s a lot of directions but I did decide to kind of do a concept doodle of this scenario, sort of. I was gonna send it with this ask but I think it deserves its own post for how long it is XD but know you were the ask that spawned it. But yeah I have lots of ideas on what could possibly happen, the biggest aspect of it that is subject to change is whether or not Clay is there in what would be this aus version of the Branch Floyd reunion from the movie, and then like what goes with that you know?

I’m more along the idea that Clay would be there, as would most of them, due to the circumstances having changed so drastically that they wouldn’t be separated by a fight, but you never know. This is pretty close tho to some of like my first thoughts, also sorry for taking a literal month to answer again the concepts I made were meant to go with this but I was going through so many drafts I legit just exploded.

The concept doodle will probs be posted tomorrow tho ;D

#Ryss responds #trolls au #n2 au #not the only one au #trolls #I’m just tryna have fun with it #so whichever option is most fun for me in the end is the one I’m going with #there’s a lot of changes to the third movie with how the cards are laid #I’m trying to think of fun ways to spice up the second movie but like tbh #not much really changes #because it doesn’t really have to #there are some fun moments I’ve thought of #like delta would def recognize branch and Floyd if I decide to let Floyd tag along #which changes entirely how lonesome flats plays out #there’s a sax battle I could do if my mystery mouseketool joins along #but then like after it’s pretty much the same lol #which I suppose is fine but you know #there’s also the fact that due to how the trolls movie timeline works if John is in da bottle he’s just missing for a month #then for the world tour #and then a month after #which is something that would become significant since John would be spending more time in troll village after movie one #but yeah lots of things rotating in this brain