#YOU'RE THE CLOSEST TO HEAVEN THAT IVE EVER BEEN

[grapecaseschoices]

A du M for the 🎶 ask? 😳

for the characters and lyrics meme:

A du Mortain:

And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't wanna go home right now

Iris by Goo Goo Dolls (Kina Grannis version)

tl;dr ramble under cut.

DON'T LAUGH AT ME! BECAUSE THIS IS SO FUCKING CORNY. I knowwwww this is so fucking corny! But I was reading through my A du Mortain tag and I happen upon these two metas (might have spoilers) and this post. And I was to my self 'hur hur hur Adam is a repressed bi aspec man!' But I was like no, A isn't repressed.

I mean it IS fun to make fun of A for being repressed. Yes, they're hard-nosed. Yes, they're by the book. However, A doesn't really shy away when they have an opinion and they're quite open about their love for their found family, as well as their growing respect for the detective.

As the meta states, A isn't ignoring or in denial of their feelings, they're in control of their actions. I suppose self-denial and that level of self-control / sacrificing of one's emotions is repression. However, I couldn't help but be struck that even with ALL THAT, even with what we know to be insurmountable will ... those feelings still slip. They still leak out continuously.

And it's frustrating. It is frustrating for the detective, for us as players, because it seems so wishy washy / hot and cold. But when you think about it ... I guess in a meta perspective -- Doesn't it say something about how STRONG and POWERFUL A's feelings are?

Like I read relationship A asks responses thinking 'this bitchis so corny' And there was one answer given once that described in-a-relationship!A as "no longer holding back". And that's how the song just HIT me! A's emotions, A's LOVE for the detective are SO POWERFUL that they reach through that brick wall of stubbornness to allow the detective to feel it, to be aware of it. And that's so much for me. And I'm crying in the club. AND IT IS YOUR FAULT.

#a du mortain #grapecase answers #me: why would she do this i have no songs for a idk how to playlist #also me: *sobbing* AND I'D GIVE UP FOREVER TO TOUCH YOU BC I KNOW THAT YOU'D FEEL ME SOMEHOW #YOU'RE THE CLOSEST TO HEAVEN THAT IVE EVER BEEN #the wayhaven chronicles #twc #ava du mortain #adam du mortain #'i just want you to know who i am' book 3 demo readers KNOW WHAT I MEAN #thank you #valerie broussard's version is also very good but i just love kina's a bit more