Red Like Roses... (It's period 🔴)
Warning: fluffness inside. Also really long.
At Beacon during a more peaceful time.
Pyrrha: Hmmm it's quiet, too quiet.
Ren: I agree. It's never a good sign. We should be ready for something.
Jaune: Ready for what?
Nora: Oh you know usually things never stay quiet for long especially when we're right next door to the main characters.
*yang burst into the room*
Pyrrha: And speaking of the devil.
Yang: Quick hide! *brace the door behind her*
Jaune: Oh Shi- okay gangs we trained for this! Quick initiate Pattern Delta Phi.
Nora: Aye, aye dear leader, let's initiate plan hiding under our bed's like cowards.
JNPR: *Bracing for Impacts.*
*Yang holding the door with all her might*
Ren: Wait what are even hiding from in the first place?
Yang: No time to explain. Here it Comes!
A large sounds resembling explosion came from across the hallway. The door starts to violently shakes and rose petals soon violently burst into the room. Even with Yang putting all her strength into the door. Some rose petals still managed to get inside.
Yang: .... I think we're in the clear now.
Pyrrha: What just happened?
Yang: Eh, promise not to freak out?
Jaune: Okay, I guess...
Yang: Good enough. *shows team JNPR the source of the roses*
Ruby: Huee~ *sniffs* huee~ 😭
Jaune: Ruby?
Ren: It seems to be her.
Pyrrha: Wait. Where are Blake and Weiss?
Nora: Found them. They're buried under all of this Rose petals.
Blake: *coughing up a bunch of petals* Eww I got some of it in my mouth.
Weiss: .... I just saw my grandfather.
Jaune: Okay, can someone now please tell us what is going on....
*Cardin burst into the room*
Cardin: Why the Fuck are there Roses all over the damn hallways!?
Russel: Don't try to lie we know it's coming from team RWBY!
Yang: Wow, wow! False accusation, much?
Dove: Well we can't help it. Because whenever something bad happened It's usually always you four.
Sky: Fucking Main characters shit...
Nora: I know right!
Pyrrha: Nora! Which sides are you on?
Nora: Oops my bad... (I mean, I'm not wrong 😒.)
Ren: *shrugs his head* Nora...
Jaune: Can all of you please stop being aggro for just one second!
You're upsetting Ruby for brother's sake.
Ruby: Wah! Wah! Wah! 😭
Jaune: Also can someone please tell me what just happened?
WBY: *looking at each others*
Yang: *sigh* (I guess I'm the one that should tell everyone.)
How do I gently put this? Ruby is in her special time of the month...
Jaune: Oh...
Cardin: The fuck does that even mean?
Russel: the month?
Dove: I see... (Maybe if I silently nod people will not think I'm dumb.)
Sky: (okay, she had her period. What does that have to with anything?)
Blake: Typical.
Weiss: Can you guys be anymore of a dudebros cliche?
CRDL: Hey!!!!
Yang: Let me put it this way. Every time Ruby has her "special month" her semblance's goes all haywire for some reason.
Jaune: Okay I get the gist of it. Team CRDL go outside and clean the hallway.
Cardin: What! Why the fuck should we clean up their mess?!
Jaune: Because I fucking said so. Now go!
Cardin: Geez... Whatever. C'mon boys, we better clean up team RWBY's mistakes. Again!
*slams door*
Blake: Thanks Jaune.
Weiss: Geez Arc, when did you grow a spine?
Yang: I gotta say Vomit Boy. I never knew you had it in you.
Pyrrha: *blush* (So manly.)
Nora: That's our Jaun-Jaun.
Jaune: Blake, Weiss. Please help Cardin & his team with the clean up outside.
Weiss: What! No way. Why should we help those dunderheads in the first place.
Jaune: Because they're right that the mess was started by your team.
Weiss: I'm sorry, our? For the record it's just Rub...
Blake: We're on it Jaune. C'mon Weiss let's help clean up all this roses. *drags Weiss away*
Jaune: Pyrrha, Ren, Nora. I also want you to go out side and help them.
Pyrrha: I understand Jaune. I will do as you ask.
Nora: Oh c'mon Jaune, why us too?
Jaune: Because they're our friends, Nora.
Nora: Well I'm about to go back to my room... *gets yoinked*
Ren: It's okay Jaune. I will get her to help us.
Nora: *grumble* (Fucking Main characters....)
Jaune: Thanks Ren. And Yang I want you to stay and find Ruby's "hygiene" products.
Yang: Wow, wow! Settle down cowpoke. I don't think you being a man is qualified to be the one to help with Ruby's "issue."
Jaune: I have seven Sisters...
Yang: Sweet brothers in heaven!
Uh, I take that back you're clearly overqualified.
At least I don't have to help clean up. But what're you going to do Jaune?
Jaune: I'm going to go back to my room to make a tea for Ruby.
A few minutes later.
Jaune: Here you go Ruby. A sweet herbal tea with plenty of honey and sugar.
Ruby: ... *sniffs* Thank you Jaune. 😢
*sips*
Jaune: It's okay Ruby you don't have to thank me.
Ruby: But I caused so much problems for everyone. *sniffle*😞
Jaune: *headpat*
There, there Ruby it's okay that what's friends are for. And you didn't troubled me one bit. In fact I'm happy to be of use to you. It reminds me that I'm still useful to someone.
Ruby: Jaune please don't think like that. You always were important to everyone.
Jaune: *kiss forehead*
It's nice of you think that Ruby. But I'm not. I'm not special like you. You're destined for great thing while I'm.... Just me.
Ruby: 0-0
Jaune: What's the matter... Ohhh, ohhh no. I'm so-so sorry Ruby I didn't realize that... I usually did that to my little sister whenever she's sad.
Ruby: *blush*
I-I don't mind it at all Jaune. It's just that if you want to do it to me again a little heads up would be nice. 😖
Jaune: I'm so-so sorry Ruby I promise that I... Wait, what do you mean by again?
Ruby: Uhh....
Yang: *clears throat*
I seems to have interrupted something here.
Jaune: Y-Yang!
Ruby: Sis!
Yang: Look Rubes I don't need to say this but remember what dad said. No boys. And Jaune please don't take this the wrong way but please for your sake please don't get any idea with Ruby. It will not end well for you.
Jaune: O-of course. I will never-ever think of Ruby like that. We're just friends after all.
Ruby: Friends... 😭
*starts crying*
Jaune: Oh, what's the matter Ruby?
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Ruby: Which one of you was going to tell me tea tastes different if you use hot water?
Blake: You were using cold water?
Yang: Answer the question little sis.
Ruby: For like five years I thought people just used hot water to speed up the teaification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason.
Yang: You don't have the patience to boil water in a microwave for three minutes?
Weiss: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?
Yang: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove? Weiss?
Weiss: It takes less than a minute!
Yang: Bestie is your stove powered by the fucking sun?!
Weiss: How long does it take you to boil water on the fucking stove?!
Yang: Like seven minutes!
Weiss: Just stick the mug on the stove and it boils in like two minutes. Less than that and you use a sauce pan.
Yang: You put a whole ass mug on the stove on medium heat? Your stove is enchanted.
Blake: Every one of you is a fucking lunatic.
Jaune: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!
Ruby: What have I done?
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RWBY+J: *Looking at some guns at the Beacon firing range*
Jaune: What's that one?
Ruby: That's a single action army. The gun the won the south.
Jaune: Cool.
Yang: What's with you and liking old weapons?
Jaune: I just like that classics, and one of my uncles uses pistols like these. Well, not that exact one but, the same type?
Ruby: Revolvers?
Jaune: Yeah. He even showed me a few cool tricks.
Yang: Then show us, Vomit Boy.
Weiss: Arc with a gun, are you sure that's a good idea?
Blake: Couldn't be any worse that you with Crescent Rose.
Weiss: We agreed to never bring that up again.
Jaune: Oh don't worry, *Picks up revolver* I'm pretty good.
Jaune: *Proceeds to do some Doc Holliday/Revolver Ocelot level of unnecessary spinning before nailing six targets*
RWBY: ...
Jaune: See? I'm not as good as my Uncle though.
Yang: You don't even know what you just did.
Jaune: Wha-
Ruby: GIVE ME BABIES NOW!
Jaune: Wow!
WBY: *Trying to hold Ruby down*
Ruby: MUST BREED!
Weiss: Run, you fool!
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Dad Challenge
Ghira: Today, you three face an important trial…
Taiyang: The Dad Challenge™️!
Ghira: In order to join the league of fatherhood, you must pass three tests to prove your skill, strength, and fortitude.
Taiyang: Challenge number one! Barbecue!
Sun: *furiously stir-frying on hot wok* 🍲
Yang: *grilling like her life depends on it* 🔥🥩🔥
Jaune: *stirring hearty stew in well-seasoned heirloom pot* 🥘
Ghira: Challenge two: Dealing with boo-boos!
Jaune: *bandaging skinned knee and kisses it better* 😙
Yang: *kneels down and gives inspiring pep-talk*
Sun: *makes child laugh with funny faces* 🤪
Taiyang: And finally…
Ghira: …the ULTIMATE challenge…!
Taiyang/Ghira: Helping your child with their homework!
Yang: Why would they change math?! MATH IS MATH!!! 🤬
Sun: …this is math, right? When did they start adding letters? 🤨
Jaune: …ugh…go ask your mother… 😓
Ghira: You have passed the test!
Sun/Yang/Jaune: 😃
Taiyang: SIKE!!! Bonus round!
Ghira: Dad jokes, go!!!
Sun/Jaune: 😕
Yang: …my time has come! 😁
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Scene: Ruby is holding a gun and is pointing it between two Yangs.
Ruby: ...Goddammit, seriously?!
Yang1: Ruby, it's me! I'm the real Yang! Shoot her!
Yang2: No, Ruby1 I'm your sister! She's a fake!
Ruby: ...Alright, I got it. What color is my underwear?!
Yang1: What?!
Yang2: Red with black frills!
Yang1: Ruby, wait, no!
Ruby then points the gun at Yang1...before then pointing the gun at Yang2 and shooting her in the chest.
Yang2 then turns into Emerald.
Emerald: Wait, what the fuck?! I got the question right! Why shoot me?!
Ruby: Why would my sister know what color my underwear is?!
Emerald: ...Shit. I didn't think this all the way through...
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Jaune: Hey Ruby?
Ruby: Yeah?
Jaune: Is your last name Xiao Long-Rose, or Rose-Xiao Long?
Ruby: Why do you need to know this?
Jaune: Nora got into bet with Weiss, and asked me to prove her right. So, I decided to ask you.
Ruby: Well... Actually, my name isn't Rose-Xiao Long OR Xiao Long-Rose. I was born with the same name I have today; Ruby Rose.
Jaune: Is it the same with Yang?
Ruby: Yuh-huh, because our dad didn't marry either of our moms. Buuuut... Yang wasn't born Yang Xiao Long.
Jaune: She wasn't?
Ruby: Nope! She was born...
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Taiyang: TAIYANG XIAO LONG JUNIOR, WHY AM I GETTING A PHONE BILL FOR HOT BOYS MONTHLY?!
Yang: Uh oh!
Ruby: I told you he'd find out~!
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