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bogkeep · 7 months

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it was always a strange dichotomy. every middle school classmate i had told me i'd be a millionaire when i grew up, a Famouse Artisté. it's easy enough to imagine as a teen, i suppose: skill equals fame equals money. i was doubtful about this prophecy, not because i wasn't confident in my ability to draw, but because it was hard to imagine a world where i'd be paid for it.

it was an ice breaker game at summer camp. horrible one, really - everyone in a group were given a character profile. now we had to imagine that it was the zombie apocalypse, and the helicopter to safety was two seats short and we had argue why we deserved a spot. the character i got was an asshole doctor of some kind. i don't remember if i argued my way into the helicopter or not, but i do remember the feeling that's been hanging over me my entire life - if the apocalypse happens right now, i have nothing to contribute.

there's something really painful about it. i have cultivated a skill for my whole life, i can make art and tell stories that are entirely unique to me, there is no way to get someone else to create in the exact same way i can, and yet - i've contributed more to capitalist society by sitting in an empty hotel reception for eight hours a day.

which made me develop anxiety, to boot.

i illustrated two children's books. they're some of my best work. the contract i signed was industry standard and the indie author who had hired me was incredibly kind... but even after stock sold out i had earnt little more than some pocket change.

in high school we had an outing to dig our own snow caves that we would spend the night in. in teams, thankfully. i have so little physical strength to speak of, most i could do to help was clear away the snow rubble and toss it outside. i know, i know, my classmates reassured me it was an important job to do, i was an invaluable member of the group, sure - but it's that feeling, you know?

what would my task be in the communist solarpunk commune?

a person cannot be useless. it's a human being. they just exist, no ifs and buts about it. one can only be useless in the eyes of an ableist, capitalist society that sees no value in being alive beyond production and profit.

sometimes i receive messages from internet strangers to tell me something i said - often several years ago - was helpful to them. maybe it was a throwaway comment on a forum. maybe it was replying to a question they could've googled the answer to. maybe it was an encouraging reply to someone's artwork. turns out it mattered to someone. huh.

of course you can learn new skills. i have learnt plenty over the years! i have also learnt that there are limitations to what i can do. that some of the obstacles i face are not in fact obstacles everyone faces. it's not that i can't break tasks into smaller steps, it's more that half of those steps are going to be "rinse your hands because you Touched a Thing and now you're going to have to touch Another Thing." i wonder if that's adding to my cognitive load or something.

i was never raised to be a man, so by all accounts i do not understand why i'm so haunted by the spectre of toxic masculinity - what would i do if i was a medieval peasant and a war broke out? what if i was in a pre-historic hunter gatherer society and i was expected to hunt? what if i was a humble farm boy discovering the sword of the chosen one and the world depended on my non-existing courage to face certain death?

look, it's stupid. these are not scenarios i will find myself in. besides, pre-historic humans depended on community and taking care of each other. that's how we survive.

i'm not useless and i decided to make peace with being useless anyway.

we're surrounded by digital clocks. we can't really escape them. do we need watchmakers? would they save me a spot in the zombie apocalypse helicopter? no, don't answer that. i'm just happy i found something that requires a light touch and an observant eye.

#too long for twitter #I AM NOT ASKING FOR ADVICE I AM JUST MUSING AND WRITING A BLOG POST FOR THE JOY OF WRITING BLOG POSTS #not mentioned: the bachelors degree in art history i took to procrastinate with my life.#i would love to work as an illustrator still. if the opportunity to do so comfortably comes along i will take it #but im also happy to pursue my passion in my free time as something that belongs to me #number one question im asked whenever i tell someone i go to watchmaker school is 'BUT DO YOU STILL DRAW??'#it's like asking if i still breathe. yes! i still do the thing that makes me feel alive #it's just. we live in a world that's hostile to Live Comfortably and Pursue Creative Passions at the same time #and a society that can be so largely dismissive of art sometimes; all the while consuming it en masse #ah you probably get it. you dont need me to tell you

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ask-the-invincible-crew · 1 year

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Snitches get stitches, Burt.

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nguyenfinity · 1 year

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Every time I draw Mamagi it does AoE damage (I am also in the area of effect)

Lighthearted bonus:

#enstars #hiiro amagi #rinne amagi #i don't know if this is a bad time to be amagi-posting given that hiiro's fs2 just dropped but. oh well #also this might be the last thing i draw for a bit because i am in the final stretch of this semester #if you sent in a request. i will get to it and thank you for your patience #anyways i know i'm kinda being like 'haha rinne mama's boy' which like. yeah but also sometimes--#--sometimes you're an adult in their 20s and like. yeah sure you're technically an adult or whatever but you still feel like a kid yeah?#and sometimes you just maybe want your mom to help you when you're lost or confused or when you need someone to tell you it'll be okay #but you won't get that for whatever reason #sincerely: an adult in their 20s #....can you tell why rinne is like. a vibe to me now #anyways i'm not saying mamagi dying was a necessary evil but if hiiro and rinne had an adult who actually loved them at home they probably-#-wouldn't have left and we wouldn't have the main story #if she was alive today tho she'd be going to their lives sorry i don't make the rules (yes i do)#if she ends up being exactly like the rest of their village in some future lore i'm gonna be so sad.#she'd throw hands with niki's parents #imagine leaving your sons behind because you straight up died (couldn't really do anything about that)#meanwhile your son's boyfriend's parents just. up and left him because they could #also posts with her will be tagged mamagi #if you read all that <3 #mamagi #she'd adopt all the bees and alkaloid too #imagine if they got their singing skills from her #also mamagi 1 rinniki shipper (also does not care it's not legal)#rinniki

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kitamars · 2 years

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🐯🐯🐯

#YES IM STILL ALIVE #I ALSO STILL DRAW #im sorry for the lack of art i’ve been preparing college apps for art school and exams are going on rn 😭#but nevertheless my love for my babygirl kotetsu remains as strong as a raging fire #maybe when stuff clears up a bit you’ll get more #i’ve been struggling with art a bit lately but! i will preservere just watch me i am that powerful #kotetsu t. kaburagi #tiger & bunny #tiger and bunny #t&b #tnb #taibani #ok bye

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levenxa · 2 months

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working on another ds au….yipp

#yes i am actually drawing right now 😞#i’ve been in burnout for a while so i’m crawling out of it #hoping the fandom is still alive…😇#ds: the disarray #dstd au #dreamswap #dreamswap au

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mari-the-dreamer · 2 months

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Student and Teacher

#Drawings #ocs #original characters #Lily/Liliana #Camila #Look who's finally redrawing these two #:O #Also. yes. hi #I am still alive. I promise #Still debating if I want to post any of the drawings I did last year-#-but I'll deal with that later #(Whenever that is...)

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dakotameh · 4 months

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(un)funny joke with my stinkies

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theeio · 2 years

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trollhunters procreate doodles inbetween work

#toa has been dwinding on the brain bc yes that movie still hurts #so my hyperfixtation is dying down naturally #but you can pry this out of my cold dead hands bc i refuse to hyperfixtate on anything new. too much emotional labour to go thru #ill make do where i am here for now #even if i dont know how to keep my love for toa alive in a way that im comfortable with n not forcing myself #pain #draws #tales of arcadia #doodles #toa #sketch #trollhunters #jim lake #jim lake jr #toby domzalski #barbara lake #strickler #walter strickler #waltolomew stricklander

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squibb-y · 1 year

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#it was so fun to draw him??#like bright colors make monkey in brain go brrrr #either way yes i am still alive and this is still a art-ish account HAHA #welcome home #wally darling #wh wally #fanart #art #small artist

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reallytiredartstudent · 1 year

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beautiful day to chill

(click for better quality)

#has it been years?#yes #am i still in denial?#also yes #i love him a lot and recently a friend of mine reawakened it #aka yesterday #by drawing a real cute time out for chopper and zoro #so ace is happy somewhere #taking a moment to relax and just enjoy being alive #like nothing bad ever happened and all he does is still cruising around the world #yeah #anyway #I'm gonna go back and do what i actually have to do lol #and omg i freaking hate muscles #pain to draw lol #one piece #fanart #ace one piece #portgas d ace

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monsterbrush · 1 year

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Oh, Reingard... What is Edmund going to do with you?

Alternatively: When a centaur offers you a ride, you take it.

@burn-your-face-upon-the-chrome thank you for the prompt.

#my art #Dungeons and Dragons #dnd #my ocs #Reingard #Edmund #Fabiana #hello friends and followers yes I am still alive #and yes I am still drawing selfish things #Weirdness thank you for the prompt #mild nudity #centaurs #paladins #fighters #oh my

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kitsunebishake · 1 year

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this is just a little rant about how queer fire emblem engage is

I abstained myself from going on this rant on the tags of anotjer post because I know I'm annoying as hell lmfao

also mild spoilers tho I already speak vaguely by nature so nothing huuuge

OK SO can we just take a moment??? to think about how fucking queer this game is???

we have diamant pondering how pretty alfred is and comparing him to a serene and beautiful flower covered scenery

we have rosado wanting fogado to think he's the cutest person ever

whatever the fuck was that support with alcryst and fogado

MARYGOLD AND ETIE???? FEELING EACH OTHER'S SKIN????? LIKE????

rosado's entire existence is queer no matter from which side you look at it too, transfem? transmasc? fem gay? nonbinary? all of them, literally could be all of them

ivy in general is peak pathetic woman OTD material, she IS the fictional lesbian standard

(yes I am aware they're technically all bisexual but me HC 2 of them as gay/lesbian is not bad... I think)

kagetsu and alfred @ diamant and boucheron is so fucking queer too like I couldn't stop laughing because they made me feel a bit self aware LMFAO (they could be a polycule too who knows)

and speaking of muscles, why the fuck bunet was so okay with the idea of alfred licking his muscles? 💀 THAT'S NOT NORMAL MY DUDE, I MEAN I KNOW ALFRED IS PRETTY BUT DAMN

I think celine and chloe were also very 🏳️‍🌈

and merrin, which is literally inverse rosado

I have not watched all the supports but I'm sure if I did I'd find even more stuff to point at like a wojack meme and go "queer."

the resident cis gay man on my Facebook friend list who is constantly talking about wanting to get railed also has deemed male alear is extremely queer just for existing, so has one of the 50 lesbians on my twitter friend circles

and you know what? I think I can see why

there's also THAT scene during chapter 10 which made the VTuber I watch go from shaming his chat for being thirsty for the evil dragon to "oh shit, I get it now, that's kinda hot" which is like peak homoerotic violence

I'm sure there's more I've seen but I have forgotten

back to thinking about diamant and alfred kissing

EDIT: I wrote this on the 15th, it is currently the 16th and I have to say... I was right, there's a lot more queer

I have officially watched all of rosado's supports and some of them in Japanese, and it is incredible how they just didn't translate some parts? I need a transcript to confirm, but I'm pretty sure rosado uses 中性 to describe his townsfolk... that means gender neutral, literally the kanji for medium/middle + sex/gender

he also specifically mentions cutesy men and cool women, confirming people from his village are not just cute but in general showcase different types of beauty, regardless of gender (and yes! he also says the "regardless of gender" part in Japanese too! I love him sm)

there's also the first support with louis which I think is really funny because the ENGLISH VERSION JUST REMOVED TJE PART WITH "EVEN THOUGH I'M A BOY????" LMFAO

I imagine because they thought it was offensive or something? but I think it makes sense, fogado said to celine the firenese appear unsociable and closed off to those from other lands, closed off being the key word here

rosado obviously doesn't care about gender, much less his own, and he clearly doesn't even care when people find him cute and stare at him, he was quite comfortable with seadall and fogado staring, so he was probably just surprised a firenese (*he probs doesn't know mauvier was firenese, he doesn't seem to talk about that too much) would find him please to look at as well, much less on the level louis was staring lol

also, I think in general the Japanese version was cuter, cuz it has louis explicitly saying he doesn't give a shit about gender/sex :3

(also my HC is currently that rosado is a fem transmasc and merrin a masc transfem... balanced, as all things should be)

EDIT 2: it's the 18th and I have no idea why I didn't mention seadall at all

but he is also queer, everything he does is extremely queer

him watching rosado bathe is... certainly something

(also him being the "women looking unkempt after using 83738477448 skin and hair care products vs men looking perfect after washing with only water and soap" meme with rosado is god tier content)

#that is not to say I don't like the m/w in this game #because that would make me a liar I want to see alcryst and celine marry and be happy #like they're so sweet and cute #I think they're super lovely #and I also realised that they'd be the ones giving birth to the next heirs to the throne #because even if alfred was trans (which I will 100% draw trans alfred at some point)#I think he would not survive giving birth #which means diamant would absolutely refuse to have a child #that man would absolutely just do everything in his hands to keep alfred healthy and alive #so yes #no babies for them #also the double cousins thing is apparently rly weird for people so it's probably for the better?#better #I still don't know what alcryst x celine should be called #I am very bad with ship naming conventions in English #Japanese is so much easier

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amateurhouronmars · 1 year

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