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comphetkoncass · 7 months

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little fic about tim's love language being contingency plans

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The thing is, Tim has a way of attacking Kon’s problems like a puzzle. Like a riddle, waiting to be solved.

Tim’s plans also don’t involve much feeling, usually, even if the issue is purely an emotional one. While Tim is decent at listening and empathizing, at a certain point he always gets his Robin face on. A signal that, while he’s still certainly listening, there’s a chemical reaction in his brain, completely out of his control, that activates his detective skills. His problem-solving skills.

It has taken Kon a combined two lifetimes, four years, five collective identities, and two–maybe three?–timelines, but Kon has finally gotten Tim to at least ask before starting to strategize. But lately, Tim has undergone some personal growth, and Kon is starting to wonder if, perhaps, he has learned to not even ask. To instead, politely wait for a signal – a sign, an invitation, even– that said advice is actually wanted.

Kon would like to take the credit for training him, he really would. But he has a feeling he’s only one of many factors.

Today, Kon is sitting face-down on Tim’s bed. Krypto sits on top of Kon’s back, the world’s most powerful emotional support dog pinning him in place. Preventing him, more like, from leaving before he's gotten all his complicated, messy, unwanted feelings out. Also preventing him from looking up at his boyfriend before Kon is done feelings-dumping, because otherwise Kon just won't finish talking, and it will go unsaid.

So Kon can’t see it; he can't see the detective face for himself. Can’t verify, for sure, absolutely, 100%, that TIm’s detective face is on.

But he knows it’s there.

He’s just spent half an hour talking about his latest identity crisis. Of course Tim’s detective face is on. It’s probably been on since minute two.

However, Tim is also running his fingers through Kon’s hair, and making the occasional appropriate comment, always generous and rational and kind, always active listening, and– listen, Kon isn’t immune to the soft victim support voice. He’s definitely not immune to the Robin leader voice, but the softer, empathetic, gentle one Tim uses with people who need help? And when it bleeds in so subtly into his regular speaking voice that it’s not immediately obvious that’s where he pulling it from?

Incredible. Show-stopping. Kon could listen to it all day, if he wasn’t the one monopolizing the conversation by info-dumping all his problems.

Finally though, he finishes the garbled, soft, self-deprecating speech about how he’ll never be completely free of Lex’s braingook (yes, that is the scientific name for it, thank-you-very-much) and how that means he’s always going to have a chip on his shoulder until Lex dies and even then Kon’s going to have to worry about some secret chip in his brain that transfers Lex’s consciousness to his or what-the-fuck-ever.

He can hear the comment Tim wants to make. The unspoken, soft little, 'You know, we could probably test you for that... A chip would definitely show up on an MRI...'

Instead, Tim only pauses the briefest, softest moment. “...That must be really stressful for you, worrying about that.”

Kon looks up, just a little. Sees Tim’s best poker face.

Then sighs, and bids the victim comfort voice goodbye. “Okay, I give in,” he says, and moves to cross his arms in Tim’s lap instead. Krypto lets out an annoyed little huff at being jostled from Kon's back, but he soon hops off Kon’s back and moves to lay at his side instead. Kon rubs him behind the ears, Krypto butts his head against his hand, and all is well again. “C’mon, out with it.”

“Hm? Out with what?” Tim asks, still in the same plaintive tone. “What do you mean?”

“Relax, you can stop the sympathy. I know you want to start strategizing how to solve all my problems,” Kon says, and leans up in what he hopes is a very kissable position, because he really wants one. “You’ve suffered enough, I know you’ve already thought through eighteen different plans.”

Tim lets out a shuddering breath, immediately sagging his shoulders. “Thank you,” he says, sounding exhausted. Distracted, and clearly already thinking of how to phrase his plans, he meets Kon halfway for a kiss. It's even a proper kiss, soft and sweet, and it really does make Kon feel better. Then, to his surprise, Tim also presses a more tender one just between his brows. “I really do empathize, though. Just so you know. This isn’t me not empathizing. But I mean, if you're giving me explicit permission it's not like I haven't been starting to think about how we could test for these and help you stop worrying about them-”

Kon shakes his head, fond and sweet. “I know. Your love language is solving people’s problems for them, I've accepted this about you."

Tim looks the tiniest bit offended. "I- that's not a love language."

"It is for you," Kon says. Then, he grins, looking up at his boyfriend through his lashes. "So come on. If it's your love language... Show me you love me.”

Tim’s cheeks bloom red. But he smiles instead of shying away, then runs his fingers through Kon’s hair again, gentle and sweet. “Get comfortable then, because I’ve got a lot of- love to show. To finish the metaphor, I mean. There’s only five so far, but number three is kind of complicated, you're going to want to take notes, but I could summarize it again for you afterwards, when you're less cozy-”

Yeah, Kon thinks. There’s no denying how much Tim loves him. He might be a strategist at heart, but Tim also wouldn’t make immediate contingency plans for just anyone, either.

Kon curls up on Tim’s lap soon after, with Krypto snuggled up onto his chest. As long as Tim keeps stroking his hair, Kon doesn’t mind the clinical approach to his problems. It’s nice to have a boyfriend who can both meet him where he’s at, and say what he really feels. Even nicer, he thinks, to know that it’s all coming from a place of genuine affection.

#timkon #cdw writes #kon-el #tim drake

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suresne · 6 months

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writing my young harry/kim au has me thinking about how it seems pretty clear that harry regretted leaving his gym teaching job before his amnesia. the mentions of harry’s teaching days are tinged with nostalgia and melancholy that don’t seem to just be caused by harry idealizing his youth or the years he was still with dora:

[Og] *468. YOU - "You said in Couron? I was a gym teacher there?"

[Og] *396. JEAN VICQUEMARE - "Yes, you *taught gym* in Couron. I believe that's the term? Taught gym at a high school. You were a high school gym teacher."

[Og] *508. PERCEPTION (SMELL) - The smell of sweat and glue, the worn floorboards...

[Og] *549. ENCYCLOPEDIA - Couron is just east of Jamrock. It was a short walk, every morning -- to the baseball field or the sports building...

this shivers check with annette in particular makes me insane

[Og] *110. YOU - "Shouldn't you be at school or something?"

[Og] *149. ANNETTE - "I do my studies at home at the moment. I have to help Mum keep this place running."

[Og] *530. YOU - "What is *school* anyway?"

[Og] *256. ANNETTE - "School?" She rubs her red, chilled nose. "Well, mine is a big yellow building on Boogie Street. And the people there run it. They say it's a *charity*."

[Og] *711. SHIVERS - The gale wind blows in from the coast, a wind of needles. It wraps itself around a building of brick and mortar. Somewhere, a clamor rings through the honeycomb of classrooms.

[Og] *315. YOU - What is this feeling?

[Og] *662. SHIVERS - Remorse. The parquet of assembly halls, the rows of stall bars are growing cold. The corridors stand empty. A girl's voice somehow finds its way through this strange feeling...

thinking about how harry would have been a great teacher to “problem” kids. how he would have understood and empathized with their hyperactivity/lack of focus/lack of impulse control. how he would be encouraging and funny and a good influence on kids who probably had difficult lives

thinking about how the RCM would take all of that away from him…..

#lying on the floor #harry du bois #disco elysium #my meta #de character meta

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daemon-in-my-head · 1 month

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I'm going to be honest; I do believe at the beginning, Gortash was terrified of Durge. That man is intelligent. He probably knew who was behind the murders and knew what the implications of Durge being a Bhaalspawn were. And without knowing them well, it's perfectly understandable that he'd be horrified by the idea of Durge losing control because Bhaalspawn are inherently incredibly dangerous (see the whole taint and poisonous blood bit and all).

And I do think a part of that fear returns when he talks to tadpoled Durge. Because he knows, even if he refuses to acknowledge it, that this Durge is different, that it is not the weapon that wished to spare him anymore. Instead it is a very pissed off, very murderous quasi-deity standing before him with no recollection of their feelings.

And yes, while he's probably truthful to some degree when he says they'll get the world to see Durge as the god they are and that he always admired their control, I do also think there's a lot of terror packed into these words. He's buttering up to someone who can and will harm him as easily as they breathe. He's empathic and pleasant and so careful with Durge in his attempts to protect himself. He won't antagonise them outright because he knows that even if he somehow wins, that would be a fight with many losses. No matter how much he may have risen and bettered himself, the old Durge, as well as tadpole Durge, put him back into the HoH; they remind him of his failure and what happens if you somehow cross a being more viscous, more violent than himself.

His "charming and empathic" side is just part of his past, his old attempts at survival creeping back into him. He simply learned he'd have a better time if he treads carefully around these people. Abused children often learn to be emphatic, to read the room and to appease people. Because if they didn't, they'd get beat or worse for it.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 gortash #enver gortash #bg3 durge #lord gortash #durgetash #gortash x durge

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theheirofthesharingan · 3 months

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You know, I think a lot of hate and misunderstanding towards Itachi comes from the fact that he is designed like he is 30 or 20-something by the time of the massacre. Pleople would empathize with him more if he looked like the child he was. In some flashbacks he looks and sounds more like Sasuke's father than his big brother. He is expected to act perfectly and to take the best decisions in all that involved Sasuke, as if he was the responsible grown-up in charge, and not just another child.

Yes, that's also a major reason. The first time he was introduced, he looked like a 16-17 year old to me, and in all the flashbacks he looks more or less the same. I don't relate to the sentiment of anyone hating him for this, though, or thinking he wasn't a child when it's been repeatedly told to us, but I guess usually it's not so for everyone.

I read somewhere that the reason he looks older than he is, is because of Sasuke's perception of him. Kishimoto draws him with more nuance, and he does look like a child in manga.

When, for the first time we see him as a child in Sasuke's flashbacks in manga, he looks like a 12 year old. He's very similar to how Sasuke would look without the marks on his face. Anime messed up giving him an adult voice and the similar appearance. Boruto does a better job at portraying him as a child in appearance and voice.

And, yes! Itachi having to act like an adult could have been explored with his Boruto look and voice too. It would be much more tragic to watch him slowly lose his grip on his sanity when he looked like a baby he's meant to be.

Another reason for the lack of sympathy from a lot of people towards him is that his story is told to us through a series of unreliable narrators. Sasuke, for example, gives us two different versions of Itachi. The evil and the good one. The good one (in the flashbacks before the massacre) shows us he was a good and kind boy. Kishimoto uses Itachi as a plot device to further Sasuke's story. If some information regarding Itachi is important to establish Itachi as a character, but is not relevant to Sasuke's arc, it will not be discussed. Otherwise we'd have gotten some information on the time Sasuke trained under Orochimaru and his own guilt for pushing Sasuke into that path. I'm not saying you have to give us all in real time, but after his death, through Kisame (who'd be a better person to talk about Itachi to Sasuke) we could have gotten some more info on him. But nope.

Obito is also an unreliable narrator. As is Hiruzen. Sasuke tells us about Itachi, his brother. Obito tells us about the tragic figure/martyr Itachi, and Hiruzen tells us the perfect Shinobi Itachi was.

There's very little of real Itachi himself in all this.

Sasuke didn't know everything about his brother. Obito didn't either or it didn't matter to him enough to reveal more details about Itachi to Sasuke. Hiruzen also had his own guilt and lack of information on Itachi, therefore he only tells us what he knows and considers right about him.

Everyone is telling us about their version of Itachi that they know is right. Itachi is probably the only character whose story is told us like that. For other characters the narrators are very much reliable. Madara's story, for example, is told through Itachi, Obito, and Hashirama. And Hashirama is the most reliable narrator, so we can ignore what Itachi and Obito said about him. It isn't the case with Itachi. In his case we have to draw the conclusions based on all the information we've received from other people.

I don't agree with people who say he's inherently cruel or evil. (I wrote about it here) Unlike many others, if given a slightly better option he would have made better choice. Who else in the Narutoverse had to make the hard choices that Itachi did and he stood by them? People can stay mad with countless 'he could have/should have done this differently' but they're speaking from an outsider's POV who has the luxury of not having been through the trauma the character they're criticizing did. Everything they hate him for can be countered using manga penals. I know this is the bird-eye view of things, but these penals are self-explanatory.

Itachi is one character who did everything wrong, but with proper context that 'everything wrong' can be explained, understood, and to some extent, even justified. If people are going to remove, twist, distort, deny, or downright ignore that context to continue their hate, then I have a very bad news for them. More on this here.

It's why I tend to disagree with most of the discourse on Itachi. People dropping the context depending on their convenience to talk shit about him. And I applaud Kishimoto for creating Itachi. Imagine creating a minor character in a 700-chapter long manga and people being mad about his fanbase. He's a very popular character and some folks like to feel intellectually and morally superior for hating on popular things. They also like to think they're different and hence very special.

#itachi #itachi uchiha #uchiha itachi #naruto #ask #anon

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mlm-writer · 3 months

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Chocolate Milk (GN!Reader)

Pairing: Spock (AOS) x Gender Neutral Ensign Reader (platonic) Rating: General Audience Words: 1320 POV: Second Summary: Your childhood trauma left you near-emotionless. While most find it unsettling, there are some crew members appreciating you just the way you are. Note: Trauma not described, reader's physical traits also not described. I want to say ft. my OC, but he is deadass more present than Spock in this so ft. Spock I guess. Tags: mentioned trauma, platonic/professional appreciation, Ensign Michael Gabe the empath, alcohol mentions but no consumption, red alert and Kirk & Bones have a cameo

One moment the white hallways were too bright for the early hour and the next they were bathed in crimson. ‘Red Alert again?’ You wondered as you broke into a sprint. Red Alert happened at least once a month with captain Kirk looking for trouble left and right, but as far as times of crisis went, you had experienced far more distressing situations in your youth. At least, they felt more distressing as a child still figuring out who you are and why you were put into a world that was described as a utopia and yet so so full of suffering.

You arrived at your station not a moment too soon. You were gasping for air, just like your colleagues at the stations adjacent to you. Michael’s fingers trembled with every jolt of the ship. “Ensign Gabe, we need a read on their defences. Any weak spot would be appreciated,” the captain urged the man next to you. His blond hair started sticking to his forehead as he calibrated the scanners to adjust for the shields. You focused on your own task, but from the corners of your vision, you could see Michael making mistakes that were uncharacteristic to his intelligence.

You placed a hand on his shoulder. “Michael, deep breaths. You got this.” You spoke softly to him, trying to make sure he was the only one hearing your reassurance. You felt him inhale deeply, holding the air for a few seconds and then releasing it evenly. You were aware the empath could feel everyone's distress. With the physical contact you hoped your calmness stood out in the ocean of unease. The blond muttered a brief expression of gratitude. You occasionally touched his shoulder again, trying to focus his gifts on you so he could stay level-headed. Sure, you could die today, but you knew your task like the back of your hand and you knew Michael did as well, in spite of his nerves giving the wrong idea and his abilities nearly crippling him.

Things looked dire for a second, but hardly an hour later, you were at warp 4 en route to a space station for repairs. You stayed at your station monitoring repairs to the systems, while Michael left to get a ‘stiff drink’ as he called it. He could probably use it. You noticed how even lieutenant Chua seemed tense as he checked upon the injured on the bridge, calling over the CMO when he thought they might need a trip to sick bay. You watched how he carried the yeoman with a possible broken leg out to the turbolifts. “Ensign?” You realised you had been daydreaming a little. You whipped your head around, worried the SIC was about to scold you.

“Yes, commander?” Spock was the ever-intimidating presence on the bridge. Very little scared you, but the idea of disappointing your superiors and commander Spock particularly “All repairs are going as expected. We will make it to Sindku station in three hours at our current velocity.” You added your status report after a short pause, hoping that was what commander Spock wanted to hear.

He did not seem pleased with the answer. Some people would argue there was not a single expression to read on that half-Vulcan face, but you would disagree. You knew the subtle changes too well, have seen them in the mirror plenty of times to recognise them on another. You watched his thought progress, then breathed out a small sigh of relief when Spock seemed to have calculated his next words. “I am aware you have been called to duty during your leisure time. I will assign an on-duty officer to relieve you shortly.” You gave him a curt nod of comprehension. He then left.

And just as foretold, on-duty officers arrived to relieve the bridge staff that had their leisure time interrupted by the red alert. You decided to check on Michael. He was in the lounge, as expected. You had expected him to be drinking alcohol, but spotted him with a big glass of chocolate milk. “Is that your stiff drink?” You greeted him with those words when you stood next to him.

Michael looked up at you, a friendly smile plastered on his face. “What can I say? I prefer calories over alcohol.” He raised his half-empty glass as if he was toasting. “By the way, thanks for getting me through that red alert today. I…” he let out a breathy chuckle, “I really don’t get how you can always keep your cool, but I’m really glad to have someone like you around when all I am feeling from everyone else is the looming dread of death.” You gave him a nod and patted him on the back.

What you wanted to say was ‘you’re welcome, it’s the trauma’, but those jokes have not been funny since the early 21st century, so you opted for a more modern response. “We all have our virtues.” Michael raised his glass again, as if saying ‘I’ll drink to that’. You decided to join him with a chocolate milk of your own. Michael always knew how to get the small talk going. He started off with the latest gossip, then asked your opinion on a personal or a ship matter and after some time, you always ended up talking mathematics. You seemed like total opposites at the bar, one person emoting like a cartoon character, the other virtually a statue. If Michael was not an empath, he would probably assume you never felt a thing in your life, just like everyone else.

The doors behind you slid open and you noticed the surprise on Michael’s face. He tried to hide it, but was doing a piss poor job at it. You turned to see what got him worked up, only to see commander Spock waltz in. The man was only here when he wished to speak to someone privately and he was heading straight for your chocolate milk hang out. Michael whispered he was worried Spock noticed his small panic today, but then you were the one requested to follow him to a less populated corner of the lounge.

You had no idea what you did, but you left your chocolate milk at the bar and joined Spock near the windows. “I meant to say this on the bridge, but it seemed inappropriate with the company present,” Spock started. You hummed, eyes locked together like you were having a stare-down. “I would like to commemorate you for your attitude during crisis response, both on the bridge as we have seen today and in the field as we have seen last week on Unico IV. I will put in a request to have you promoted to lieutenant junior grade. Should you remain equally level headed with more responsibilities thrust upon you, I believe you will, in time, make an excellent captain.”

You were quiet for a moment, trying to take in the unexpected compliments. “Thank you, sir.” It was all you could really say. Spock responded with a polite nod and then made his leave. You blinked as you stood there momentarily. When you were ready, you returned to Michael at the bar. He was chatting up one of the red shirts again, the ever sucker for muscular men. When he saw you though, he slipped off his seat, taking the two glasses with him.

“What did he say?” Michael asked as soon as he was in front of you, handing you your leftover chocolate milk. You paraphrased Spock’s words, leaving Michael gasping and squealing. “That is so amazing! Slay mama!” He somehow managed to make air come out of your nose at a high velocity. You tapped your glasses together. He seemed happier than you, but you let him celebrate for you. Captain? You? You could hardly imagine it right now. Meanwhile Michael was already planning on being your SIC.

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REBLOG TO SUPPORT YOUR FANFIC WRITERS

Likes do not help exposure!A comment in tags or replies can sustain a writer for months!

#star trek #gender neutral reader #male reader #star trek x reader #spock x reader #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #spock x male reader #spock x gender neutral reader #star trek x male reader #star trek x gender neutral reader #aos #aos x reader #aos x male reader #aos x gender neutral reader

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thickenmyblood · 2 months

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why did laurent start dating / having sex with maxime, even before nicaise found out? maybe this is something we find out in ch. 20, but throughout hiuh i’ve really struggled to understand or empathize with laurent in this area. you’ve mentioned him being self-destructive, or how it was good for his ego to bring a date in front of damen. but why did he feel the need to throw it in damen’s face when damen was the one who got dumped? why would he let maxime call him baby and walk all over his boundaries when this guy is a total stranger? i know some people have speculated that maxime is a uncle-stand in, but to me that doesn’t parallel bc there the abuse happened because laurent did (unfortunately) love and trust his uncle at the beginning, which enabled his uncle to abuse him. i’m honestly really trying to see where this sexual self-harm aspect of laurent comes from when it’s with a complete stranger who doesn’t seem to like laurent as a person or give him any real affection. he said sex was the foundation of their relationship, which seems odd for an ascetic person like laurent who even in hiuh canon doesn’t seem to have engaged in that kind of relationship before dating damen, when he was in a way worse physical and emotional state, unless i’m wrong.

i really, really hope this doesn’t come off as criticizing or accusatory in any way — it is your story and you can characterize laurent any way you want! to me it’s felt like this is the one area so far where laurent has been extremely defensive and refuses to take responsibility, even though it really hurt damen — not just being jealous, but being compared to maxime over and over again by laurent’s friends and implicitly by laurent himself — not to mention how it hurt nicaise. yes, damen had flings, but he didn’t try to replace laurent after two months or ever shove it in laurent’s face. and yet it feels like damen over-apologizes for ever asking about maxime or suggesting laurent’s behavior was harmful. i don’t see how damen could get over this massive insecurity when laurent appears to ridicule or dismiss him for bringing it up, like with the condom conversation or the pet name issue.

feel free to ignore this message, but always appreciate hearing why you chose a particular characterization!

hello! i get this question every once in a while so i thought i'd answer it today since we're about to be done with the story. i didn't take it as an attack or anything and it's a very cool question!

but why did he feel the need to throw it in damen’s face when damen was the one who got dumped?

in a way, reading your ask, i think you answered some of these things yourself. why did he bring maxime to a bunch of events knowing damen would be there? because he wanted the upper hand, he wanted to be seen as having moved on (remember that he thinks damen has moved on, too), because it's an ego thing. but why do it if he was the one who dumped damen? same answers, but i'd add that it's implied in the story that laurent was surprised and hurt by how easily damen went along with the break up. laurent brings it up, says he can't do it anymore, and damen just goes to work and never comes back. once again, in a toxic and insecure way, there was a part of laurent that wanted damen to fight for it, to say "wait, let's turn things around" or something. obviously, that didn't happen, and laurent interpreted that as confirmation of a lot of negative thoughts he was already dealing with (damen wants out of this but he doesn't know how to do it, damen's too "nice" to say that he wants out, damen is looking for excuses to start arguments bc he's trying to get me to end this, etc.)

this is not me justifying laurent in any way. was it childish and immature to bring maxime to events bc he knew damen would be there and he wanted, along with all the reasons listed above, to make damen jealous? yes, probably. is it petty? yes. is it ooc? i don't know. i think laurent does exhibit some pettiness in the books.

why would he let maxime call him baby and walk all over his boundaries when this guy is a total stranger? i know some people have speculated that maxime is a uncle-stand in, but to me that doesn’t parallel bc there the abuse happened because laurent did (unfortunately) love and trust his uncle at the beginning, which enabled his uncle to abuse him. i’m honestly really trying to see where this sexual self-harm aspect of laurent comes from when it’s with a complete stranger who doesn’t seem to like laurent as a person or give him any real affection.

this part of the question is a bit more complicated for me to explain. i 100% agree with people's complaints that in this aspect hiuh laurent is ooc (compared to canon laurent). in the books, he doesn't sleep with anyone but damen, so everything regarding laurent/other men is always going to be ooc in some way (unless it's non con, i suppose).

maxime has to be a stranger. maxime has to be someone laurent doesn't care about, doesn't value, doesn't respect. it would never work between them if maxime was not a stranger, which is ultimately what happens in the fic (let's, for a second, ignore the fact that they also don't work out bc lamen are in love lol). when maxime wants more, laurent cuts him out.

why does he have to be a stranger? because hiuh laurent's biggest issue in this story is that he can't be vulnerable enough to be loved and accept that love. he loved damen, but he couldn't get to a level of vulnerability that allowed him to explain himself, to show himself to damen as he really is, and without that a relationship can't last. when you feel like you have to hide parts of yourself from the person you love, eventually that turns into resentment and anger and hurt.

when he starts sleeping with maxime, he's not looking for another boyfriend. he's not looking for love. he's not sleeping with maxime because he's too horny to function either. he lets maxime fuck him because there is something to prove. and here I have to apologize because to me this detail was so clear during my writing process that I'm only now realizing I did not do a good enough job of integrating it EXPLICITLY into the story. what is there to prove? laurent has only ever slept with two people in his life and only damen was a pleasurable, consensual situation. so, here's the setting: laurent and damen break up, they go no contact, months pass, laurent is STRUGGLING (nicaise mentions this time and time and time again in the fic), laurent has no way of knowing that damen is also miserable, laurent has no way of knowing that damen hasn't moved on (damen is, actually, at this point in time, fucking other people). laurent isn't looking for love or dates or romance, but then maxime shows up and he gives laurent an opportunity to prove to himself several things:

he has effectively moved on from damen (in his mind, having sex with other people = the ultimate 'i'm done with damen" move)

he is in control. he has only had consensual sex with one person in his life, which gives damen symbolic power over him in a weird, fucked up way. or... maybe the word isn't power, but status. damen has a status in laurent's mind and memories because he's the first person laurent CHOSE to have sex with, the first person he loved and showed him it could be good, etc. as long as damen maintains that status, laurent will never stop thinking about him, will never have anything to compare damen to and say "see, it wasn't that big of a deal". which brings me to...

he wants to minimize damen. he wants dismiss what damen meant to him, what their entire relationship meant, so it can be easier to move on. how do you move on if you're thinking "oh I broke up with the love of my life lol"? laurent needs to tell himself what he had with damen wasn't unique, wasn't that special. he can have it again (the SEXUAL part).

needless to say, this fails. he has sex with maxime and finds that it's nothing like it was with damen because it's WORSE, because having sex with damen was having sex with someone who knew him and loved him and respected him. laurent has sex with maxime but he's still thinking about damen, he's still in love with damen, the same way damen is having sex with kyra or trying to date iris while thinking and missing laurent.

once this realization sort of sinks in (yes, he can have sex with other people, yet that doesn't erase damen's status in his brain bc damen was special for a bunch of reasons I'm not gonna type in here - THEY'RE IN LOVE, YOUR HONOR) that's when the self-harm comes into the picture. (this is discussed a bit in ch20 so SPOILERS but)

what kind of sex are maxime and laurent having? it's not the slow, gentle, love making stuff damen knows laurent was into. it's rough, it's degrading, it's not as pleasurable, it's a chore, it leaves marks. does laurent want those marks? we don't know. does maxime ask him if he does? we don't know. you can make it as non con as you want because the text doesn't go into detail.

the petnames. "why does laurent like it when maxime says it but not damen?" I don't think he does. he never gives damen a straight answer on this, but he does say that it makes him feel like a bimbo. it makes him feel slightly degraded. he says it wasn't terrible, but he never says he wanted it or that it was good. it's implied that damen tried it once or twice at the very beginning of their relationship, and I think we can all tell why laurent didn't like it back then with him either (bimbo feelings, laurent using him for money, the power imbalance, etc.)

uncle parallels. okay, this one's a bit tricky. yes, you're right to think that the abuse laurent's uncle subjected him to is nothing like his relationship with maxime for a plethora of reasons, but I think the narrative supports some people's opinions that maxime does resemble uncle in some ways (older, brunette, has a beard). i did not write maxime as a literal uncle stand in, so of course it's not going to be a perfect comparison. i wouldn't even call maxime and laurent's relationship abusive.

he said sex was the foundation of their relationship, which seems odd for an ascetic person like laurent who even in hiuh canon doesn’t seem to have engaged in that kind of relationship before dating damen, when he was in a way worse physical and emotional state, unless i’m wrong.

i tried to mirror canon in hiuh when it comes to laurent's... choices? in canon, damen is the first person he's with after his uncle because he's the only one laurent trusts. i don't have any doubts that canon laurent was terribly lonely and probably wanted to be loved waaaaay before damen came into the picture (post uncle, I mean) but his context and environment were so violent and dangerous that he couldn't let his guard down. similarly, in hiuh, laurent leaves his uncle's house without any money and in a very vulnerable position. he's not exactly carefree and happy and able to be like "oh I wanna date and fool around!! explore my sexuality!!!!" - in fact, this is a pretty big plot point in hiuh: laurent did contact damen out of pure necessity.

and yes, sex is the foundation of maxime/laurent for all the reasons I stated above, but at the same time it's not all about sex. it's not even about sex. it's about control and self-punishment. it's about self-hatred. we also don't know what state laurent was in when he started seeing maxime because we don't have his pov, but we do have nicaise's testimony. again, this is briefly mentioned in ch20, but it wasn't exactly pretty.

however, having said all of this, i'm not blind or dumb enough to think oh hiuh laurent is sooooo canon laurent, not a trace of ooc-ness. i get where the characterization issues are coming from. at the end of the day, I have to say that this post summarizes a tiny bit of what went into creating hiuh laurent. i tried to make him as canon as possible, but I'm not pacat and so my characterization is different. my setting is different. the modern au is different. it is completely fair to read hiuh and think as a reader "i would not have gone in this direction, i don't think laurent would ever be with someone who isn't damen, i don't think it's consistent with his canon self". i accept those comments in the same way i accept those that say they love this laurent bc of XYZ.

this is the one area so far where laurent has been extremely defensive and refuses to take responsibility, even though it really hurt damen

i understand this, but at the same time i don't know how much responsibility laurent can take over that when it's... just dating/fucking someone else after a break up. he should apologize for making damen feel bad on purpose (perhaps taking maxime places), but the rest of it... damen also fucked and thought about dating other people. the comparisons you mention were cruel, but they were made, for example, by characters like aimeric (removed from the narrative entirely later on) and ancel (who tells damen he was wrong, who tells damen he thinks laurent made a mistake letting him go).

i don’t see how damen could get over this massive insecurity when laurent appears to ridicule or dismiss him for bringing it up, like with the condom conversation or the pet name issue.

i understand that, but i also think damen's insecurity wasn't born just from this issue. he is an insecure person throughout the fic. his toxic masculinity is one way this insecurity and lack of self-confidence manifest, for example. his fixation on penetrative sex. his fixation on performance. his fixation on parenting like laurent because his own way is wrong. his fixation on never thinking about the things and people he lacks because he can't take it.

yes, laurent played a huge role in feeding that insecurity, but I'm failing to see where he is ridiculing damen. during the condom conversation, laurent snaps because he feels judged and attacked, not because he's making fun of damen's pain. during the pet name conversation, the same thing happens. and in both instances, damen is judging laurent. he judges laurent really harshly in other scenes, too, like when they find out about claude.

some of these issues are talked about in ch20, but I don't think there is a scene where laurent addresses everything. perhaps he should. i just didn't write it.

#anon #hiuh #ok so this got out of hand lol #hopefully this made sense?#i do think a few scenes in ch20 help us see that laurent is sorry and he says so but i dont know to what extent youll be satisfied with it #also i am working my ass off lmao im editing i promise i'm trying to finish it IM TRYING kjbsdkgbdskjgbkd it's just so long dudes #pray for me #pray for my ass bc im editing six hours a day #im so close to the end i can almost taste it #and YES FFS IT'S HAPPY stop doubting me #plot twist they dont end up together

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suchawrathfullamb · 5 days

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i can't stop thinking about how was will's life with molly like. i feel like so much of will's affection for abigail was tied with his need to be normal and feel normal for once, and he finally got this when he married molly. i wish i could take all those three years they had been married and scrutinize under a microscope, was he wearing his own person suit of the sweet man 100% of the time? was he having nightmares about mizumono's events? he told bedelia that molly was aware enough about his and hannibal's relationship, but what exactly did he tell her? did he ever get conscious about the gender swap (molly/hannibal and wally/abigail) and got lost in the similarities or in how different they were from each other? will is a really introspective person, so how did he manage to balance this part of him with the fact that now he was living with two more people under the same roof? did he think about hannibal every single day even tho he'd avidly try to forget about him now that he finally had what he should want? idk ive read your post about will and bervely's "friendship" and his relationship with his dogs too and it really got me into a spiral because we as viewers are obviously going to empathize with him and see the good parts about him (and im not saying he doesn't have them) but it makes us forget how disconnected (?) he is from humanity and its concepts of how someone should act/feel/behave, so it really got me curious about how it was those three years for him trying every single day to "stay in character"

Omg yes, I wish we could see it and the worse part is that I'm pretty sure we would've seen it in season 4, in flashbacks :(.

I think, based in omitted dialogue from the script, that Molly saw a bit of his true self because she mentions dreams and things like that. And to her, he used dogs as a coping mechanism, because she tells Jack that he was "worrying about dogs all the time" and then he started getting a little bit better and was just caring for them (not just worrying). Hence why people who say Will caring about his dogs proves his humanity annoys me, because it is such a sad, shallow and stupid take, when it's canon they mean so much more than that and serve such a complex symbolic purpose.

But yes, I do believe he had to wear his person suit in a way he never had before. He wanted the complete opposite of what he experienced with Hannibal, as an attempt to further bury those feelings and experiences, so Molly served that role. And because they mirrored her calling him a sweet man to Reba calling Francis a sweet man, there's this notion that yes, Will has the ability for this trait, he can be a sweet man, but there's also a beast hidden within him, and just as Francis was afraid of his vulnerability with Reba, and how that was threatening to destroy/overcome the Dragon, we have to interpret the same for Will, since they were direct parallels. So Will fearing his affection for Hannibal and Hannibal being the only one capable of perceiving Will's beast as something beautiful (hence the tiger scene) and the only one who isn't afraid of that, contrasts with Molly, who calls him sweet for his care of dogs, and is unable to see him for who he truly is. When he says I'm sorry and leaves, he's leaving for good. He knew he wasn't coming back (dead or alive).

The fact that he projected Francis' killings into him killing Molly says a lot too. This was in his subconscious, and the amount of repression he faced during those 3 years was probably reaching a critical point, that's why it takes so little for him to completely break.

#season four pls we want the deets #nbc hannibal #hannigram #hannibal #will graham #murder husbands #hannibal lecter #hugh dancy #ask the lamb

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kittyandco · 7 months

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breathes in

okay. i have literally never seen anyone advocate for hans' potential redemption because he "never did anything wrong," or solely because he was abused and therefore free of all blame (and yes, his abuse is CANON), or ESPECIALLY because he's hot. ever.

what fans are saying is that they want someone who's been hurt by the people who should have been protecting him and raising him and loving him finally achieving some kind of freedom from such deeply ingrained trauma, beginning by making amends with the people he hurt. his reasons are inarguably linked to his past; he didn't decide to commit attempted regicide and treason out of nowhere, and we know that. he saw it as an out. a desperate, last-ditch effort.

we want to see him move on. because, decidedly, he was not dealing with what he went through in any meaningful way. he was pursuing something that he thought would free him from constant inadequacy, but it was only reinforcing the same hierarchy that, in part, pushed him to this point. he wanted to achieve some semblance of freedom by escaping the southern isles, and he felt that this was his only way... but in many ways he would be living in the shadow of his family. he'd be proving that power & status is all that matters, no matter the cost, like his family (especially his father) taught him.

he's been treated as nothing more than a servant, a doormat, an easy target. why would he suddenly stop believing these things about himself the moment he became king? that's just it: if he takes the steps to redeem himself in some way, he may be able to break free of this self-image. he can be better than his family, and especially his father, who he doesn't want to become but whom he is dangerously close to becoming.

and in a film like frozen, where "letting go" and acknowledging your pain head-on, seeing hans actively not do these things, rather painting over it all with power and status, hurts a little. if you relate to any of the characters in any capacity, then you probably understand the hurt that comes with denying your feelings, your experiences that got you here, all your traumas and fears, and how quickly it can spiral. how it can turn you into a different person entirely, often a person that you don't like being.

that's what hans represents for so many people. for many, he's what we could become (hence why he's symbolic of the evil mirror from the original tale). but he also represents protection in an unsafe situation that you feel that you cannot escape. he blends in easily with any situation; he had to learn this for his survival. all we want is to see a reality where he doesn't have to do any of this anymore, just like we wanted to see elsa free of the fears of herself and her surroundings that held her back, and it begins with him being honest about what he did and trying to make amends.

i could go on and on about the ways i personally relate to him. but these are just a few examples and how redemption plays a role.

this is not "apologia." (i know it's coming.) this is simply an explanation as to why people might connect with someone like hans and would want to see him heal. in a film about healing relationships with oneself, a redemption arc would fit right in, and would show people that it's never too late. elsa & anna don't have to forgive him, but the fact that he might be able to try to seek forgiveness and a brighter fate is enough.

you don't have to sympathize with him, or even empathize with him. you can say he belongs in the trash can forever for all i care. but don't misrepresent our wish to see someone we connect with improve meaningfully and the reasons why we would want it.

#screw it; it's going in the fandom tags! i'm so passionate about this and i won't back down (there's so much more i could add too)#frozen #prince hans #i love him for the evil bastard he is in all honesty but the redemption route is tempting. it'd be beautiful #meows

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emeyuko · 11 months

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Okay, already posted on Twitter in a long ass thread but lemme talk about Yosuke's confession again, the "i never knew i had such a heat inside" or this depending of the traslation

It's SO important cuz It really empathizes their relathionship pretty fucking well. Yosuke loved Saki bc she was the first person that saw him as something outside of the Junes kid who's parents are gonna ruin the shopping distritc (even if the way she feels about him was more complicated than that), she accepted who she was, talked to him, was nice to him

we know Yosuke is a person who gets interested in people easily considering his flirty behaviour, but i am pretty sure his feelings for Saki were genuine and that there's a pattern, Yosuke is a lonely kid that is used to be treated like trash most of the time, seeing someone saying this stuff to him, makes him embarrased and...happy, and it makes believe that he's into people who are genuinely caring and kind to others, including a random loser like him. if Yosuke loved Saki for that empathic and kind nature, who's the person that fits perfectly those two terms? Is basically the whole point of their character considering that he's a protagonists and how it mix with the message of the game? That's right, Yu.

There are some parallels with Saki and Yu, in lots of ways, Saki and Yu both has this kind behaviour, can be teaseful around Yosuke and they both are big siblings that really love their little siblings more than anything, but despite their cool easygoing and kind behaviour, they are implied to be really deppresed individuals, for Yu/Souji more specificed in the manga about his parents("i wish all could dissapear" is a very suicidal thought, that Saki's shadow herself mentioned, like if she has thought about killing herself before)

Saki made Yosuke feel slighty better with himself, how he shouldn't worry about what the others are saying around the town, because he knows that isn't true

Yu made him realize how nothing would change for him if he doesn't do something about himself, how he isn't alone and has everyone else and i would say he did more than Saki did.

Yosuke wasn't ready for a relathionship yes, but he slowly realized how much Yu mattered to him, how much he is "special" to him, Yosuke finds himself comfortable in Yu's presence, smth he didn't felt until Saki came in, so i think that's what "i never knew i had such a heat inside" means

he's a perceptive person that knew that his relathionship with Saki wasn't mutual ("i knew all they said was right, i was just too embarassed to admit it...") and afterwards he saw how much he had going on in her head "i wish everything could just dissapear", Yu actually reasurred him, his kidness was more in a "i do like you as a person" instead of "i am kind to you bc i would be a ass if i weren't", Yosuke probably fell even harder than he fell for Saki, he finally found a genuine connection, the most genuine one he could ever have, that changed his life for better.

And i think It really fits his character, he is really someone who desires a genuine connection due to loneliness, people who genuinely liked him, instead of treating him as someone they need from time to time, thanks to Yu he's closer to the team.

And no, some people may believe Yu was like a """remplacement""" of Saki but i do believe this is just a natural course, you cannot control who you get feelings for, and slowly, you get to know them and fall for them, i do know people who broke up/lost their ex before and some weeks later, they fell for someone else, and there's nothing wrong about it, time passes, feelings changes, some people faster or slower than others but it's natural, and Yosuke should allow himself to love someone else when the other already passed away

So yeah, i do believe he got to experience, even an stronger feeling than before and it makes sense, (Yosuke also realized how life slowly changes in his SL, fitting EVEN MORE with his character arc)

Saki is special, Yu is special, and that wouldn't change in any way, not even how he sees himself, bc thanks to this experiencie, he could finally say he's special in his own way.

#yosuke hanamura #souyo #otp: my heat inside #ANYWAYS here's me going bonkers with his confession again enjoy

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hollowhearts-and-espresso · 22 days

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lets talk hannibal (but mostly will graham)

so some viewers and enjoyers of the hannibal tv show still think that Will only lost it because of hannibals influence. because hannibal alienated him from others, pushed him to break the wall around his mind, whatever reason, some people think it was only or at least mostly because of hannibal.

that said, heres where those loveable fuckos are wrong. will graham was very early on established to be unstable- he's autistic and an empath so that alone is hard on him, not to mention all the shit hes seen for crime scenes and his own nightmares (also established to have happened long before hannibal or Garret Hobbs ever came into play). so yes, unstable, but still very clearly feeling- he's not a psychopath, not a sociopath, not even criminally crazy or insane, he's just unstable. but unstable is dangerous in his line of work

so lets focus on the empath part for a second. he's able to observe, consider, and get into the minds of the killers- 'he hires Will Graham to catch psychopaths because he can think like them'. and he can, and he said as much- he can think like them, get in their head, figure out their design and every last flaw in it to catch them. will graham may not be a legal psychopath, but he can put his mind into the headspace of one, think and feel and look like one (consider the conversation about the minnesota shrike between jack and will- 'a feeling psychopath'. we establish early that it is unusual, but they can never and will never rule out the possibility of a psychopath or sociopath being driven by love, still feeling things)

so far, just in early episode 1, we've established a few things- the first is that will graham is emotionally and mentally unstable, so deeply that a licensed psychiatrist suggests highly that they just let him be and teach. second thing we've established is that will graham is not a psychopath or sociopath, but he THINKS like one, gets in their heads, understands them. being able to think through someone so deeply that you can basically see through their eyes is hard enough, but even harder if you cant align with their instabilities and etc. and the third thing we've established is that in this show (and irl, but we focus on the show), is that they can and never will rule out the possibility of a psychopath showing and experiencing true feeling.

now lets talk about some MORE that went down in episode one. the 'copycat' kill, with the girl mounted in the field on the antlers. will took one close look at her and realized that no, this isnt garret hobbs, who tucked elice nichols into bed and never wastes any part of the women because he wants to keep them inside, near him, safe- no, this was someone else, and he though this girl was pig and wanted to humiliate her. One fucking look. he had probably already been thinking about the shrike kills and realized, or almost realized, the connection between the shrike having a daughter and the girls he killed, whatever. but he takes one look at this girl, a kill that is very objectively so close to the others it could, in fact, be garret jacob hobbs, and he realizes no, thats not the shrike, this girl was a pig and her killer wanted it known.

and then, later, when he's giving the lecture and jack and hannibal walk in, he says that this kill was the shrikes kills but elevated to art. ART, which he is shown now and later to have such a delicate care for. he finds this kill beautiful and artistic, and this is before he has much of hannibals influence or hannibal even makes hints about alienating will from jack or alana. this is still pre-hannibal will graham, looking at a vicious murder and calling it art.

and hannibal himself never broke will. he broke his trust, at some points, and did everything to get it back and show will he could trust him, he wouldnt hurt him. he loved will so clearly and deeply the entire time, he would never break him. he loved him so deeply that the only thing he ever wanted was for will to be his full, true, no-walls self with hannibal. he would never break will, he just wanted will to be his full self- he pushed will, yes, but never to hurt him or his mind, just pushed him to take the walls down, to stop pushing down the urges that were eating at him because thats what was destroying will, not hannibal.

so in conclusion, will was an unstable phsycotic empath well before hannibal, and hannibal only ever wanted him to stop fighting the urges and take down his walls, he was NOT the reason will snapped and not responsible for dark!Will

#hannibal tv show #hannibal tv series #will graham #nbc hannibal #hannibal lector #hannigram

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thebreakfastgenie · 4 months

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I only wanted the audience to go through the experience of feeling what it’s like to be in that relationship with somebody where you caused their death. How does that make you feel? How does the audience feel identifying with that character?

Alan Alda said this about Hawkeye's storyline in the finale during All We Have Is Now, and I think it explains a lot about that episode. It had to be Hawkeye, and he had to do something bad. He couldn't just see something bad happen, like Jerry in The Billfold Syndrome--he had to be an active participant.

At its best, MASH asks the audience hard questions. That's what Alan Alda was trying to do in the finale. We're not just supposed to cry because Hawkeye is in pain, we're supposed to be uncomfortable with what he did. Maybe we can justify it, the same way Hawkeye does--everyone would have been killed if the baby's crying gave them away, he didn't mean for her to kill it, it was an accident--but the point is that we have to try to justify it.

Hawkeye is a victim, yes, but he's not entirely innocent. MASH has previously shown us soldiers in distress over the things they've done--remember the bomber pilot in Dear Sigmund? Even sweet, christlike Arnold Chandler probably didn't know any more about the people he dropped bombs on than that other pilot did. MASH has also reminded us that everyone in a war is a victim, even the people who gleefully participate, like Colonel Flagg. What happened to Hawkeye is bad, but what happened to the baby and its mother is undeniably worse. We don't see the mother (played by Lang Yun) again; of course this is because Hawkeye is the main character, he's our American doctor hero, but it's also because we aren't being asked to empathize with her, we're being asked to empathize with Hawkeye.

Hawkeye doesn't break because of something that's done to him or because of something he sees. He breaks because of something he does. Maybe something we can imagine ourselves doing. It's easy for the audience to say "I would never kill someone," but how certain can you be that you wouldn't hiss at a mother that she had to keep her baby quiet, if the circumstances were life and death?

In order to confront the audience with the reality of war in this way, it has to be Hawkeye. It has to be the character we love the most. We have to see someone we love, empathize with, maybe relate to, do something both unimaginably and mundanely awful. Hawkeye's always had a strong moral compass as far as human life is concerned, and he does this anyway. Why? Because the audience needs to know that I would never isn't true, isn't enough, won't protect you.

Alan Alda holds Hawkeye responsible for the baby's death, and I'm not sure the audience usually does. I think we like to see it as a tragic accident, and certainly he didn't do it on purpose, but that doesn't absolve him of responsibility. We do this because we struggle to accept the truth, to do what Alan Alda is asking us to do: empathize with someone who caused the death of an innocent. Maybe that's one reason Alan Alda is so critical of Hawkeye: he sees him more clearly than we do.

#mash #m*a*s*h #mashposting

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mothmanssweetsucculentass · 17 days

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BEN Drowned headcanons

Finally I’m getting around to posting my current standing BEN Drowned HCs! The ask I got a couple weeks ago definitely motivated me to finish this finally lmao.

Trigger warnings for: Mentions of death, manipulation, suicide, drowning, violence, and the general mature stuff you should expect from the adult side of the Creepypasta fandom. There are NO CENSORS BEYOND THIS POINT. Read at your own risk.

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ageless/has kinda always existed since the internet has been publicly accessible

It/it’s pronouns, occasionally caught using they/them and even rarer he/him

Manipulative as fuck

Malewhore mansplain manipulate

Literally makes up a huge chunk of its personality idk what to tell you

Will doxx you

No seriously if you catch its attention you’re getting stalked

Stalks potential victims through the internet

Finds potential victims on forums and the “dark web”

Often goes after people who are heavily depressed and/or suicidal

Thinks it’s funny telling people to off themselves

Like fr its favorite hobby is basically being an average redditor

Probably the WORST mf to date out of all of my interpretations of Creepypasta characters

Gives zero shits about anyone besides itself

Seriously it does not care about you Y/N RUN!!!!!

Lies lies lies omg loves lying so much

Lies to get what it wants

Master “hacker”

If it’s stalking you say goodbye to any and all digital important things you have

Say goodbye to your laptop too

And switch

And iPhone

It’s all getting bricked by BEN if it finds it funny to do so

And it probably will

You like sleep? Too bad

Woe, nightmares be upon ye

Gaslighting KING. Deletes messages between you and people in your life on purpose

Has extensive knowledge of internet culture and video games

Knows every meme ever

Has created most of the “video game” Creepypastas as their own personal “proxies”

Sonic.exe, Smile.jpeg, The Princess, etc, anything inhabiting digital media that torments people, BEN is the one behind it all

Finds friendships useless but respects Slenderman enough to continue being a proxy for it

Got bored of tormenting the other pastas pretty fast, generally avoids them unless slender tasks it with giving specific info pulled from the web to the other pastas (news articles, police reports, locations, etc)

Out of all my HC characters BEN is probably the most serious/grimdark/gritty, I prommy not all my blorbos are as mature and serious as BEN

Takes on the form of a late teenage boy’s body, waterlogged pale skin, constantly glitching and dripping water. Speaks in at least five different voices/tones at once, including robotic AI voices

Only physically manifests to scare the fuck out of people

Stans Hatsune Miku

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!

All these HCs are for BEN! Not Ben!!!!

Because after much deliberation I have decided that yeah I kinda do want some of the old BEN middle school me liked to fuck around with. So without further ado, here’s my Ben headcanons:

Created BEN as an AI program for when he can’t be at his computer

BEN is kinda like their “avatar” for the internet

He/they pronouns

Roughly about 20 years old, give or take a few years

Died in the mid 2000s

Sort of??? A ghost?? Like a fusion between a ghost and zombie

Like is obviously a corpse and can kinda go in and out of corporeal and non corporeal form

Has the skin tone of a freshly drowned corpse, but isn’t constantly dripping water

Eyes constantly leak and drip with blood tho. Tissues are scattered all around his room with his futile attempts to keep the blood tears at bay. Face has a “pinker” color compared to the rest of his body thanks to how many times they’ve wiped and smeared the blood around

Similar in behavior/personality as BEN but toned way the fuck down

Like. Still enjoys tormenting people but can (sort of) empathize

Still an asshole tho

And a pervert

And a stoner

And a gamer

He’s a discord Reddit mod irl. Scummy guy tbh

Not afraid of water, just afraid of water damage on their equipment

Lives in the mansion basement

Hasn’t seen sunlight since 2004

Introverted as fuck

Prefers to be physically manifested, leaves all the digital movement to the BEN AI but can enter technology if need be

Cheats in any and all video games you play against him in. Hacker aficionado

Y’all know those fits people used to wear in the 2010s of like, cargo shorts and legend of Zelda t shirts? Almost exclusively his fashion sense

Like yeah he does have the link getup but finds it pretty tedious to get into

Does enjoy scene fashion quite a bit tho

And EDM

electronic stuff in general is his favorite shit ever

Him and the BEN AI never physically kill people, just manipulates them into offing themselves

He’s a weak motherfucker he physically cannot kill somebody

Emotionally tho he would mass murder if he could

The one thing him and Jeff can agree on

Bi, and aro. Kinda too horny and despondent to society to care for someone emotionally for more than twelve seconds

Could definitely stand to make a few friends though, and isn’t opposed to conversation if he ever leaves his gamer basement

Currently friends with EJ, Jane, Liu, Nina, and Helen

Has a tolerable relationship/mutual respect for Masky, Hoody, Jason, Puppeteer, and Slenderman

Doesn’t get along with/hates Jeff, LJ, and Clockwork

Sally sees him as an older brother figure. Unfortunately he’s a bad influence on the kid and also has no idea how to look after a child, he just kinda goes “fuck it we ball” anytime someone puts them in charge of Sally. Has taught her every swear and slur known to man. Thinks it’s hilarious to put her on the mic in gamer lobbies

“Hey dude check this out” proceeds to show you the nastiest shock video ever

Semi-fluent in Japanese despite being whiter than paper. Unsurprisingly a weeb

If he owns a body pillow he keeps it hidden with his life. They won’t be caught dead cuddling up to something like that at night

The mansion’s go to IT guy. Against his will but unfortunately if he wants to continue living in the mansion (or living in general) he has to take this role lest slenderman eviscerates him for defiance

Both him and the BEN AI have a major superiority complex, he thinks he’s way better than everyone else and is the cockiest bastard mf on the planet

Stans Hatsune Miku

#ben drowned #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta #headcanons #ben drowned headcanons #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta hcs #ben drowned creepypasta #Ben drowned hcs

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avatarrecom · 2 months

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What they give you for Valentine's day

Pairing: Poly!recoms x Recom!reader

Word count: 1.1k

A/N: Omg I completely forgot to post this! Thank you all for the happy birthday wishes! Ignore my rambling through the headcanons lol.

Any thoughts?

🌍 Recom Miles Quaritch

He knows that it’s valentine's day, but it never occurred to him to get you a gift. Not until Walker and Z-dog give him an earful telling him to get you a gift asap. So Miles ditches his duties and frantically searches the entire base for a gift (because 1: Walker and Z-dog are hella protective of you and want their baby to be happy (and they're both scary as fuck when they want to, not that he will ever admit that) and 2: he doesn’t know if you’re expecting something and he doesn’t want to disappoint you). Eventually all he can find is a box of chocolates. Walker and Z-dog make him swear to go all out for your birthday to make up for the ‘pathetic’ gift. Even though you absolutely love it, I mean, chocolate is everyone's guilty pleasure right? (I will (try and fail to) fight you if you say no)

😈 Recom Lyle Wainfleet

Himself. That’s it, that’s the gift. You walk into your room to find him blue butt naked on your bed. Maybe the others have managed to convince him that just glorious nakedness isn’t enough, so maybe, he’ll tie a pretty bow around his cock, maybe not. I mean it’s Lyle, who knows what’s going through that bald head of his (probably not much but who am I to judge).

🍬 Recom Z-dog & 🥽 Recom Walker

THEY GO ALL OUT!!!! Like h-o-l-y shit. They force Miles to give the three of you the day off from work and you have a girls day (they may be though marines, but they still love them some self care). This girls day may or may not include certain spicy gifts and many, many, like I cannot empathize enough that there were many orgasms.

😎 Recom Mansk My boy may not be overly present, but he is there, he is always watching, always listening. He is always waiting… waiting for the perfect moment to… give you everything you could ever want. If you mentioned wanting to read a specific book, he’s buying it the second he can. He buys literally everything you ever mentioned you wanted. He’s the type of guy to do that thing (I saw it on tiktok) where he goes to your amazon account (or whatever webshop you use) and buys everything you have in your cart and/or wishing list. There are four moments in a year when he goes all out spoiling you. The first is your birthday (obviously), second is your anniversary, third is Christmas and last is Valentine’s day.

(My grandpa used to do this for everyone in the family to the point it became annoying. There was this movie (or series? Idk)(in the Netherlands) about a knight named Floris and I remember watching it when I was with my grandparents and that at some point there were these people with plague masks and I was completely and utterly terrified. I literally couldn’t sleep that night and in the morning (I slept at their place) my grandpa gave me a copy of the movie and when I was packing my stuff I accidentally, on purpose ‘forgot’ it. I had nightmares for weeks lol. I never had the heart to tell him, and he never brought it up, bless his soul.)

🧯 Recom Prager I see him as the type to give you one of those jars with hundreds of sweet messages. He probably goes all out and gives you multiple jars with notes depending on how you feel. Do you feel sad? Just take a note out of the sad jar and it says how much he loves and appreciates you. Do you feel insecure? There are a hundred notes telling you how beautiful you are. And the way he describes it?! Like omg, he’ll write a note (because yes, of course they’re all hand written) that says “You are beautiful like the morning dew in the fields” or “You are the most beautiful star in the entire galaxy”.

(Omg I need a Prager to write me sweet notes 😩. I mean I’m extremely lonely. It’s a recent development by the way, my bf broke up with me through text (on my birthday, I swear, it is the most interesting birthday gift I've ever gotten, and also the only one I've gotten on my b-day👍🏻) and then I found out through a mutual friend that he’s been cheating on me with my bff for 6 months… Who wants help to egg his house? So my self esteem is extremely low right now. Not that it’s normally particularly high, matter of fact, it's shit and has been shit since got bullied first year of high school, but anywayy)

⚕️ Recom Ja He gives you a promise ring. I don’t think that the RDA would allow the Recoms to marry, especially within the squad, so a promise ring is the next best option. Getting the ring wasn’t much of an issue, but getting it in Recom size was. There were a lot of favors called in and when that didn’t work he resorted to threats or blackmail. If he wasn’t allowed to marry you, they could at least allow him this.

🧢 Recom Brown He gives you one of those cringy hoodies. Yours says “His Queen” and his says “Her King”. If he walks in the room and sees you wear your hoodie, he drops everything and changes into his own. The other Recoms make fun of you two for wearing them (mostly him, they would never make fun of you), but they’re secretly really jealous. Also, I’m like 99,99% sure that Z-dog, Walker and Prager had to persuade him to not give you something similar but with a sex joke on it.

📿 Recom Lopez You know that meme: A: “Love is a weakness and an evolutionary mistake.” B: “You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for them right now.” A: *pointing their hot glue gun threateningly* You’re on thin fucking ice.”

Lopez is person A. That’s it. (He’s definitely scrubbing glitter from his hair for days after, it’s definitely not because Lyle dumps Lopez’ entire glitter supply on his head, Lopez does the same to Lyle, but with obviously little effect)

⛓️ Recom Fike Baby boy’s love cannot be measured in gifts. He just showers you in hugs and kisses all day long. If people are giving him (and you) strange/disgusting looks, don’t worry, Brown is right behind Fike glaring at everyone who dares looking at you two. Fike ends up giving you something you’ve been wanting later on, cuz he’s unsure if you’re disappointed, you’re not and you end up making that very clear to him.

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xiaq · 10 months

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Why do feelings have to be so confusing???

I’ve never been super into labels, but if I had to choose I probably would have gone with aroace. I kind of figured I wouldn’t ever find someone I wanted to be in a relationship with and that was fine.

But now I’m 30 and somehow in a relationship for the very first time with this person that I love so much. And it’s wonderful and amazing in so many ways, but I also feel so crazy with it??

I feel like a teenager with their first crush but also too old for that and it’s like I don’t know how to trust myself in this because I’ve never felt anything close to this before.

Feeling romantic and sexual attraction for the first time there’s a part of me that’s like how has everyone been living like this the whole time??? It still doesn’t feel like it should be real somehow, even though I’m now experiencing it firsthand.

Anyway I don’t know exactly where I’m going with this, but if you either advice or even just stories to make me feel a little less ridiculous, I’d love to hear them!

I think it's really REALLY important to remember that socially reinforced ideas of normalcy when it comes to exploring sexuality are not, actually, normal. A. Because people are people and what works for one person doesn't work for others. While there's obviously going to be a bell curve on the graph of "when do people typically sort out who they want to kiss (or not kiss) and start doing that" there is going to be a steady, not insignificant, number of folks that are on the upward and downward swing of that bell curve before you even get to the far outliers, and that's to be expected. B. Traditionally accepted timelines for building a sense of sexual identity don't apply anymore. The average age for (first) marriage is creeping back each year. In the US in 1900 it was 26 for men and 22 for women. Now it's 29 and 27 respectively. Women, especially, don't have nearly the pressure placed upon them that they used to to quickly find someone who will take care of them seeing as we can now open bank accounts and own property and work for (mostly) equal pay and all that jazz. So there's that to consider.

But also. Humans, human bodies, are never stagnant. You might have heard the fun factoid that all our cells are replaced every 7 years. That's not entirely accurate, but it's true that the body does regenerate skin and bone and liver and stomach, and so on, cells at a kind of mind-boggling rate. There are things that we're born with that don't change like some of the neurons in our cerebral cortex, I think, but as a species we are generally made to adapt to new experiences and environments so much so that our bodies are in a constant state of change themselves. You're just...doing what you're built to do. Something new has happened and you're adapting to it.

And yes, it can be scary and make you feel very vulnerable when you don't have historical relationship or sex-related context like other people your age might have, but that's when you get to lean on friends and/or talk to your therapist to make sure you're approaching things in a healthy way, there aren't red flags you're missing, etc. Because humans are also pack animals and we thrive in communities in which we can share each others burdens and wisdom.

As someone who also had built what I thought was a pretty clear assessment of my romantic and sexual identity over 29 years, only to have it challenged and rebuilt at 30, I fully empathize with the way you feel. But I leaned into the feelings of confusion (and frankly, giddiness, at times). Who says teenagers are the only ones that get to experience first crushes? Who says 30 is too old for self-discovery? You get to decide how you interact with the world. Who cares what other people are doing if what you're doing makes you happy and hurts no one.

#no guilt in my pleasures #sexuality #hopefully this helps #answered asks #aroace

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