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#You don't fool me ad
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months
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Why is the red underline missing underline missing under LWJ's and XL's names in the mario kart comic? /gen q /love your stuff /have a nice day
Truthful Answer: I forgot to ink it and didn't want to rescan the comic.
Funny Answer: They never finished the course.
(post for context)
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jlf23tumble · 11 months
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"Maybe I drink too much for a singer. Maybe I smoke too much for a singer. But it can be quite demanding, this life. So, for me to have those little vices, it's important." - Louis for The Telegraph
He even acknowledges himself that he smokes and drinks A LOT. but he sees it as his little pleasures in life. He says he needs it because he finds the life he lives demanding. He also once said that he needs a drink before the show to calm his nerves. So that sounds very much like he uses alcohol and cigarettes as a coping mechanism. That is NOT healthy. Wherever the memory loss comes from, he still has a problem with drugs and alcohol. He admits it in almost every interview! He just doesn’t see that it is a problem. Just like you :) instead of making fun of people who are concerned about Louis, you should at least acknowledge the fact that these concerns are very reasonable to have at this point. You don’t have to agree but making fun of it makes you look like a fool who is deeply in denial about reality.
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terrainofheartfelt · 6 months
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✨Seven Sentence Sunday✨
(post the last seven sentences of your wip)
tagged by beloved @blairwaldcrf <3
from a something I just started this afternoon :)
Dan’s mouth spreads into a grin, and despite the tiredness clinging to his bones, he’s already walking towards her.
“You did not have to do this,” he says when Blair’s within earshot. 
“Oh shut up,” she tells him sweetly, reaching out to grab hold of him. 
Dan folds her into his arms, and for the first time in weeks, he feels like he can breathe. “Glad you did, though,” he mumbles into her hair. 
Her hand strokes soothingly down the back of his neck, comfortable and familiar. “Welcome back, honey.”
Dan’s stomach does an automatic, foolish adolescent back-flip. Like it always does, because no matter how long she’s loved him, there’s always one holdover somewhere, one fraction of his body that still can’t believe it. 
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radioconstructed · 1 year
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⌖ HI, HEY, HELLO! IT’S ME, hi, I’m the problem, IT’S ME, SIMULCASTING LIVE ON AIR and LIVE ON CAMERA! I almost NEVER DO THAT! Are YOU tired of scam calls? I SURE AM! Let’s make these CLOWNS our little APRIL FOOLS! TUNE IN for WILD IMPROV, VOICE ACTING, SCAMMER MALDING, and COVERS OF THE SCAMMER PAYBACK SOUNDTRACK! ALL DAY!
#// gonna drop context in the TAGS!#scambaiting is exactly what it sounds like! you bait scammers. for example pretending to be a potential victim to waste their time. some#people can go further and get their info to report to authorities or reverse connection into their computer and mess up their operations.#Al's goal here is to improv some insane scenarios (see link for an example) and have fun wasting these clowns' time so they can't make money#(this also saves victims but she is fueled mostly by pettiness and spite bc she hates robocalls)#they do get raging tho and she is gonna have so much fun making them rage. she has her own creative insults too.#(first link is long (but worth it) but the second two videos are short)#Her focus is improv but pls remember that she's pretty techliterate (like... her operating system is a linux and she set the hotel network#up with pihole to block all ads on the network) so she is running a virtual machine in case some scammer asks to remote into her computer.#Also! Scammer Payback is a scambaiter with a large following. He collabed with musicians to make a soundtrack. The songs pass as love songs#and stuff but they're about scammers/scamming/scambaiting and it's great. It's Al energy.#Anyway she VERY RARELY goes live on camera bc she dislikes being on camera in real time as there's no editorial control#but this is the sort of thing she wants to be on camera for! she's also broadcasting.#So. Lots of fun improv with live music between calls. It'll be fun. You'll get to see her make music live. Live looping and live instruments#(I don't think city lights & rain on me are officially part of the soundtrack. it's just the same artists collabing. but they have good sax#solos and I think april fool's is The day for Al to unironically refer to herself as h*rny in a song.)#⌖ online#⌖ hellfie#OH! THE FIREARM! I had drafted Al doing an iconic moment from a pengu*nz0 video and decided to use it for this.#She has that bisexual lighting going on too. It's to match the vaporwave music and also bc it's classic youtube.
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enypneon · 4 months
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rawiya's bio is up and i managed to do a bit of foenix's ─ i think that's my big project for now (writing bios) and in between i'll try to get drafts and plots done 🥹 tomorrow is my last day of work until the 31st (yep, late shift) and i'm optimistic.
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Hello! Why do you fell like a fool? Did something happened?? Sending you lots of hugs!!!💞💞💞🌈 hope you are feeling better m
Hey hey! I'm alright, just hyped myself up thinking my crush likes me, but I'm such fool for thinking that haha. We're close but I don't think she sees me as anything but a friend. And how much it might hurt, I have to accept it and move on I guess. Thanks for the hugs, sorry I made you worry, I'll be fine.
Have a lovely night 💙🏳️‍🌈
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bahrmp3 · 5 months
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nanaslutt · 2 months
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Body search gone wrong
ʚ ft: Officer Suguru Geto
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ʚ cont: fem reader, public sex, fingering, handcuffs, inappropriate body search, implied alcohol consumption but reader is sober, dirty talk, degradation, praise, spanking, rough sex, dacraphillia, hair pulling
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ
Your vision shook when your body was slammed down against the hood of your car, your hands held tightly behind your back. "Fuck!" You yelled, wincing at the dull pain and the freezing metal your body was pressed against. "I told you not to resist didn't I?" A deep voice rang out behind you. The officer's body heat bled through your clothes, warming you up a bit, a nice contrast from the freezing air. His knee planted between your spread legs kept you apart as the officer reached for his cuffs, the metal clinking together.
"I wasn't even fucking doing anything." You shot back, wiggling against his hold. The man's body was pressed harder against yours, the metal cuffs squeezing around your wrists. "I told you to stop resisting." You rolled your eyes. You tried to look at his face from over your shoulder, but it was already pitch black, and the light from his car behind you blinded you.
"Now you gonna answer my question? Huh?" The officer's hot breath tickled the back of your neck. When had he gotten so close? You wriggled your shoulders against the car, silently telling him to back off. "I was at a fucking party dipshit, why do you think I'm dressed like this?" You said, your words coming out harshly. 
The officer clicked his tongue, his lip curling at your attitude. "Such a disobedient girl. I don't think you're in a position to fight with me right now." The officer abruptly yanked you up, your dress threatening to roll up even further than it already has. He kept a hand between the two of you, gripping your wrist harshly to make sure you couldn't run. 
His other hand grabbed the bottom half of your face, and before you knew it, your head was being turned to the side so he could have a better look at you. You instantly sobered up, all of the anger leaving your body when you came face to face with him. His eyes were sharp and slanted, dark. His face looked like it had been hand sculpted by gods, and his long hair flowing out from under his work hat looked so soft, you wanted to reach out and touch it.
"Such a pretty face. How unfortunate it would've been if you'd died while drunk driving." The officer spat, clicking his tongue again. He shook his head at you, looking at you disapprovingly as he scanned your face. "I'm not even drunk, 's just late it all, had a long night." You retorted, avoiding his face as you felt a warmth spread through your body. 
"Oh yeah, I can see that." He responded, looking at you smugly. You could only stand in astonishment as his thumb wiped down the side of your lip, collecting the smeared lipstick that was smudged on your face. When he pulled his hand away you could see the maroon color of your lipstick on his thumb, making your face burn at his words insinuation. "You can't fool me, girl, you reek of alcohol." He added, letting you turn your head away from him again.
You stayed quiet, looking out into the dark forest around you. The officer took a moment to lean back unnoticeably and scan his eyes over the backside of your body, his eyebrows raised at what he saw. "You got any weapons on you?" He suddenly said, making your face scrunch in confusion. The dress you were wearing barely covered your body, the fabric probably too thin, where on earth would you be hiding a weapon?
"Oh yeah forgot to mention I'm strapped because I have sooo many places to hide a weapon on me right now." You retorted, snorting at his suggestion. "Oh, so you got jokes now?" He responded, "What changed? You were acting like you wanted to knock me out a couple of minutes ago." 
The officer's banter and casual talk with you made your veins pop out in your head in annoyance. Pretty privilege really did exist, because although he was right, you still wanted to kick him in the balls, you also wanted him to have his way with you in ways you probably shouldn't. 
You stayed silent, pressing your lips together firmly so as to not say something you would regret. "You done jokin' around now? That was fast." the officer responded before walking you forward into the car. Your knees hit the rubber of your tire, the man's body follows right behind yours, pressing firmly against you. You could feel every bump and ridge of the weapons on his belt against your back.
"Legs." He said, a little too quiet to sound demanding. You obeyed, spreading your legs to make room for him. The throbbing between your legs was much more intense now, there was no way he didn't know what he was doing. His knee pressing firmly between your own, centimeters from your cunt, made you swallow hard, your breath picking up.
Your wrist was released from his harsh grip, your arm instantly throbbing hot as blood flowed back into that area. His hands started at your sides, just under your arms. You thought officers were supposed to use the back of their hands when they searched someone, but you must've been mistaken because officer whoever he was was groping your body with his palms.
His large palms slid under your tits before sliding down to your stomach, pressing firmly against you. "You body search everyone like this?" You asked, leaning your body back slightly against him. "Or just drunk girls?" He didn't seem to like your insinuation as you were slammed back down against the hood of your car, his hand on your lower back. "Thought you weren't drunk?" He responded, his hand slowly sliding down your back, almost teasingly.
You bit your lip, hoping he couldn't see your face from here in the darkness. His hands grabbed your hips before rubbing down your bare thighs. Your knees threatened to buckle, his touch was so warm. The officer got down on his knees and felt your legs, your legs only clan in a tight pair of thigh-high socks with small black heels resting against your feet. It was obvious you weren't hiding a weapon there. 
Geto circled your ankle with his hand before grabbing the bottom of your shoe with another hand, pulling your foot out as if he were checking your shoe. You pointed your foot at him before rolling it around dramatically. "Pervert." You whispered under your breath, a word you thought he wouldn't hear. Looking up, he had a perfect view of your panties from under your tiny party dress, the black lace panties barely covering anything.
Giving your foot one last rub, he placed your heel back on your foot before raising to his feet again, his hips connecting with your ass once more. "Did you find what you were looking for, officer?" You said, trying to look back at him, wiggling your hips against him as you spoke. "I haven't finished checking everywhere." He replied with a hint of mischievousness laced in his voice, making you raise your eyebrows in confusion.
Suddenly, your bare ass was exposed to the cold air around you, sending a wave of chills over your body. "Might be hiding something here. Can't take any chances." Geto spoke, a smile creeping on his face when your knees pressed together, your hips wiggling more impatiently back against him. "You're right, I could be dangerous." You teased, smiling as you pulled your lip between your teeth.
The cold you once felt against your skin was replaced by two large hands, grabbing and massaging the fat of your ass. You made a noise of surprise at his rough handling of your body. Your breathing picked up, his thumbs massaging so close to where you desperately needed to feel him. You would absolutely be telling this story to your girlfriends when you got outta this mess.
"Do I have your permission to search you down here?" The officer asked the sudden ask for your go-ahead catching you a little off guard after how much he's already done, not like you minded. "If I say no are you gonna let me go officer?" you teased, arching your back against him. Geto pressed his lips together and looked down at you rubbing yourself against his bulge. He wondered if you knew what you were feeling was his cock or if you thought it was some weapon on his holster.
Your back was enveloped with a sudden warmth, making you release a few aroused hums through your breathing as you felt Geto's breath tickle against your neck. "Yeah, I'll stop... but I don't think you want that, do you?" He asked, biting your earlobe between your teeth. You had forgotten how things got to this point, but you were far from complaining. 
"No sir..." You replied, voice all breathy and full of need. "I know." He replied, his hand reaching under your body to rub his fingers firmly against your clit. Your jaw opened against the car in a silent moan, an action Geto mimicked. "You're soaked." Geto groaned against your ear, his cock throbbing in his pants. You only moaned in reply, your eyes rolling back in your head as his thick fingers rubbed expertly against your little bud, your wetness seeping through the fabric and onto his fingers.
"Fuck... officer..." You whined, wiggling against him, your hands pulling against the cuffs. "Suguru." He replied, kissing right under your ear, "Call me Suguru sweet thing." You nodded before releasing a sweet moan of his name, a sound that was greatly appreciated and swiftly rewarded by him pulling your panties to the side. His hot fingers against your bare clit with nothing between made you press your thighs together. 
"You like that pretty?" He whispered, his deep voice sending pangs of arousal to your cunt. "Uh-huh." You nodded, trying to look at his face through your fuzzy eyes. "You want 'em inside you?" He asked, teasing you by rubbing his fingers down to your entrance, only rubbing circles around the hole there. You nodded quickly, tears nearly forming in your eyes. "P-please Suguru... please."
"Look at me." He responded, his voice calm but breathy. You did as he said as he brought his head to the side of your face, reducing the strain on your eyes. His gorgeous face came into view as a shadow blocked it from the light of his car. "That's it, keep looking at me." He nodded, licking his lips as he rubbed delicious circles against your tight hole. Your eyes fluttered as you fought them from rolling back in your head, not wanting to miss a single thing.
Suguru's jaw fell open ever so slightly as he started pressing a single finger against your wet opening. He groaned with you as your pussy greedily swallowed up his finger, your tight walls squeezing around him at the intrusion. "Oh fuck, it's so warm." He groaned, his eyebrows furrowing together. You finally let your eyes roll back in your head before they fluttered shut at the pleasure.
Geto slowly thrust his finger in and out of you a few times before he pulled it almost completely out and added a second finger. Your cunt welcomed the stretch, your wetness spilling out around them. Geto rutted his hips needily against your ass, trying to bring his dripping cock some relief as he dealt with how tight and hot you felt around his fingers.
"Move your hips, fuck that ass back against me baby. Take what you need." He groaned, standing back up and keeping a hand on your lower back. He pushed your dress higher up your body, exposing the mid of your back while he finger fucked you. Now that he was standing, the base of his fingers and palm were pressing against your clit, making you see starts as you did your best to move your hips against him.
You whined when he curled his fingers, matching your slow pace. "Please... please faster Suguru please-" You gasped, your legs shaking at such a small amount of pleasure already. He clicked his tongue against his teeth and smiled while shaking his head. "You can't even follow simple instructions, can you? Dumb girl." With those words Suguru's left a harsh smack against your bare ass, making you yelp before he places his hand next to your body on the car and started pistoning his fingers in and out of you.
"Yeah- yeah fuck- just like that-" You cried shamelessly, your hands clenching and unclenching in your restraints. "You like it rough? Huh?" Suguru groaned, feeling himself leak pre-cum against his boxers hearing the loud squelching emant from between your legs. "Yeahh- yeah I love it-" You cried, nodding while you whined through your teeth, your hips wiggling and bouncing back against him on their own.
"You're so filthy y'know that?" He groaned, curling his fingers against your g-spot each time he thrust his fingers inside, making your brain short-circuit. "S-says the cop fucking a g-girl he pulled over for drunk driving," You responded, giggling through your moans. Suguru returned a short laugh, his eyebrows raising at your words. "I'm not even fucking you." He replied. "You want me to? My fingers not enough for you?" Geto teased.
You bit your lip and sucked a breath in through your teeth, feeling your orgasm steadily approaching. "M-make me cum like this first, a-almost there." You begged, your eyebrows pinching together. Geto laughed, shaking his head at your shamelessness. "Only because I'm feeling nice." He replied, curling his fingers harder against you.
He did his best to rub his palm against your clit in a way that stimulated it just right, making your walls tighten as you got closer and closer to your high. "Fuck- right there oh- ohmygod right there-" You cried, your legs starting to shake, your body jerking and twitching against the car. "Yeah... cum all over my fingers so I can fuck you over the hood of this car." He groaned, pulling his lips between his teeth as he watched you shake and writhe for him.
Your moans got quiet and your jaw fell open in a silent scream as you came all over his fingers, your walls squeezing tightly against them, making it hard for him to move. "Good girllll, good fucking girl." He praised, rutting his hips against your ass as your body jerked and shook against him. Your legs threatened to give out from under you, but you knew even if they did, he would catch you.
Geto pulled his fingers out from your wetness, leaving you to catch your breath and recover from your orgasm. His warm hand patted softly against your ass before it retracted and you heard a clinking sound followed by a zipper.
You tried to turn your head enough to look at what he was doing but your head was shoved back against the cold metal of the car by his large hand. You could hear the squelches from behind you as Geto jerked himself off over your ass, his cock occasionally tapping your ass as he stroked himself. "Don't look, don't want you to get scared and run away now." He said, a smile on his face that you couldn't see. 
His words made you swallow hard, was he really that big? So big he was afraid you would tap out? "Just p-put it in already." You begged, pretending to be confident about taking his size as you wiggled your hips back agaisnt him. "You sure are eager huh? You must really not want a DUI on your record." He teased before running his hand down your shoulder blades, over your arms, and pressing against your lower back.
"It's not that." You said, your voice breathy and full of lust. "You're the hottest cop I've ever seen, wanted to fuck you from the moment I saw your face." You smiled, your eyes barely catching him from out of your peripherals. You gasped when you felt his blunt head press against your cunt. He rubbed his tip against you, getting ready to push it in. "Such a sweetheart," Geto replied before you felt the burn of his cock stretching you open.
Your hands balled into fists, your arms jerking against the cuffs as your walls were forced to make room for his cock. A tear immediately welled up in your eyes from the overwhelming feeling. It wasn't all painful, it was just so much, he was filling you up completely. "Good girl, just relax and take it... there you go..." Suguru soothed, his eyes raking up your body as he fully penetrated you with his cock, his hand staying against your lower back.
"Holy ffffuck-" You gasped, fighting to catch your breath as he stilled inside you, giving you a second to adjust to his length. It felt like he was in your stomach, you couldn't imagine how it was going to feel when he actually started fucking you. "It's big huh? You feel it all the way in there? Stretchin' you open?" Geto teased, his thumb wiping the tear from your face before he brought it up to his mouth and licked it off.
"S-suguru- I-its so much, s-so deep-" You cried, being able to do nothing but whine and cry while his heavy cock rested inside you. He smiled before leaning his chest over your body and kissing your cheek, his lips eagerly catching any stray tears that fell. "I know, but you're gonna take it aren't you? Gonna take it even when I cum isn't that right?" He groaned against the side of your face, his hot breath tickling you, making goosebumps arise down your spine.
Geto slowly pulled his hips out of you before thrusting them back inside, fighting the urge to whine like a bitch at how good your pussy felt. "I asked you a question," Geto repeated, biting your earlobe as he continued slowly thrusting in and out of you, pulling as much of his cock out of you as he could before thrusting it back inside, making sure you were feeling it nice and deep.
You cried out before nodding, your moans broken and whiney from just a few thrusts. "Cos you're a good girl, just a good little cockhungry slut." He whispered, picking up his thrusts, his own words riling him up. You nodded, hardly even registering his words as he spoke. His cock was rubbing agaisnt your g-spot so perfectly, it was making you dumb. Combined with his balls slapping against your sensitive clit after each thrust, you were slowly becoming cock drunk. 
"God this pussy is so tight... can barely move." Geto groaned, his eyes fluttering in their sockets before he fucked against you harshly, making his tip fuck right into your sweet spot. The moan you released made his balls throb, it was so desperate and feral.
He leaned up off of your back once more, staring down at the place the two of you were connected. The fat of your ass rippled each time he fucked his hips against yours, making a dopey grin spread across his face. Your juices were already getting all over his work pants. Anyone with half a brain would know what that was if they saw it in the light. "You're so sloppy, such a messy pussy." Suguru groaned, landing a mean slap across your ass that echoed into the woods before he pulled his hips back and fucked you harder, finding a quicker pace.
"O-oh fuck Suguru- It's so deep holy shit-" You cried, more tears spilling from your eyes. You felt a hand grab the back of your head and nails scratch at your scalp and before you knew it you were being forced to stand your full weight on the ground as your back arched meanly into him. Suguru released a long groan, his cock getting constricted even more in this new position.
Moan after moan was fucked from your lips each time he brought his hips against your ass. Loud and vulgar squelching noises cried from between your legs as more wetness drenched his cock and pants. Your scalp burned from where he was gripping you, but it felt good nonetheless. 
"Feels 's good Suguru, fucking me s' good-" you cried, hot tears seemingly neverending spilling down your cheeks. You were sure to have red, puffy eyes after this. "Yeah? You like my cock baby?" Geto groaned at the praise, his cock throbbing in tandem. You nodded before crying again. "L-love it s-so much, 's gonna make me cum, you're gonna make me cum~" You whined, your legs shaking violently now.
Geto wrapped his hand around your thigh, taking some of the weight off your legs, his other releasing your hair and wrapping firmly around your torso, keeping you firmly against him, your cuffed hands getting squished between your bodies. "Me too pretty, g-gonna make me cum too." He replied, his face flushed from your praise. His balls twitched and throbbed with the need to spill his seed, but he had to make you cum first.
Geto used the hand he was previously using to hold your thigh to rub small circles against your clit. Your body jolted forward and forced you and Geto against the car again, your bodies firmly together as he kept rubbing your clit, trying to work you through it. "Cum for me baby, cum for me so I can fill you up." His words made you feel hot all over. The promise of getting filled up by him made you squeeze his cock harder, your eyes fluttering shut as he pushed you over the edge.
Your body convulsed violently as you came. Geto buried his head in the crook of your neck, his jaw clenching together as you came on him, his cock getting constricted. He couldn't even speak enough to tell you he was cumming, or even praise you for doing so before his balls were throbbing and he was chasing after you, releasing his seed deep into your cunt.
You both groaned at the feeling. It was so warm, you felt so full. It must've been a long time since he came because his orgasm seemed to go on forever. His hand stilled on your clit as his body jerked against yours, his abs clenching under his shirt. He only relaxed when his cock stopped kicking and he was sure he had hummed each rope of his cum inside you, making sure you were stuffed full. 
Despite how deep he came inside you, when he pulled his cock out his cum still chased him, spilling out of your cunt. He quickly stopped any more from getting out by situating your now ruined panties back into place, keeping you full of him. Geto pressed a kiss to your nape before he leaned up and tucked his cock into his pants. Undoing his belt quickly, he retrieved the key to the cuffs and set you free.
"Easy." He whispered, helping you sit up and face him. You rubbed your wrists, now red and irritated from the hard metal. "You just looked so pretty all restrained, didn't wanna take them off." Geto half apologized before scooping you up in his arms and placing you down on the hood of the car, relieving the stress on your legs. You were still dazed and a bit fucked out, but his words made you smile.
"Plus I could'a been dangerous, right?" You teased, playing with his belt. He returned your smile, placing his hands on the side of the car next to you, his face inches from yours. "You coulda been dangerous." He responded, dipping his head in your neck for a kiss before he pulled away. "Let me take you home. I'll have someone bring your car to you in the morning, you're in no state to drive right now." He said, stepping back and holding his hands out for you, helping you off the car slowly.
You raised your eyebrows, catching yourself from stumbling as you stood on your incredibly shaky legs. "Wow, you're so nice officer." You teased, poking his chest before you started walking in front of him. Geto smirked before following you, keeping his hand wrapped on your lower back in case you fell as he walked you over to the passenger side of his car. "It's my duty to keep the public safe." He said with a wink before he lifted you into the passenger seat. 
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munsuntan · 10 months
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if we lived in the mcu, tony stark would've bought twitter before el0n could've and we wouldn't be having these problems and i really do believe that
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chuluoyi · 5 months
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✎ sweet felicity
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- gojo satoru x reader
what do you get the man who already has everything for his birthday?
genre: teeth-rotting fluff and comfort because no—i can't make his birthday angsty ok
note: so this is my entry for the birthday boy <3 this takes place immediately after daddy-to-be, where the first years are still yuta, maki, panda and toge
a part of gojo's love entries
series masterlist | oneshot masterlist
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Honestly? Satoru wondered about it a lot these days.
He already has everything he wanted—unparalleled cursed technique, a fairly happy life, a pretty wife, and just recently, a kid on the way.
But his birthday was in a week and it was as clear as a day that you were planning something for him.
“Come on, you can't fool me, sweets.”
He noticed that you had started waking up earlier than usual. Initially, he thought it was due to your morning sickness, but it turned out you were sneaking away to another room for an hour or two and only came out when it was around breakfast time.
Did you really think he wouldn't catch on? Satoru found himself torn between concern and amusement. He didn't want you to strain yourself—especially after your recent fainting spells—and yet a part of him was over the moon by the fact that you did it for him.
His eyes crinkled, twinkling with affection. “You're planning something for my birthday in the mornings lately. That's sweet, but you don't have to, really.”
You quirked an eyebrow at him. "Why are you so sure that it's for your birthday? I never said anything."
"Well, what else could it be? Unless you're cheating on me at six in the morning—"
"I have your spawn inside me, Gojo Satoru—"
"Don't call it ‘spawn’!" Satoru interjected with a theatrical gasp. "It's our very own little munchkin! Our love! Love!"
This was so ridiculous and you couldn't help yourself from giggling. And seeing you like that softened something inside him.
"Really, don't push yourself too hard," he said with a pout, resigned. "You need lots and lots of sleep."
"I'm not a baby, Satoru."
"Half of you is, so it makes you one!"
He was dramatic, but it was his own way to care because your husband was just wired that way.
You sighed, relenting. “Okay, okay… I know my limits. I will stop when I don't feel well, yeah? Besides, I won't have time to do it except in the mornings because I still have classes to teach.” It seemed like he wasn’t satisfied with your answer so you added, “Just so you know, it's something I enjoy too.”
"Hmph," Satoru huffed, eyeing you petulantly. "It'd better be good, or I'll spank you."
If it were physically possible for your eyes to roll a full 360 degrees into the back of your head and back, they definitely would have. "Oh, you will adore it, I promise."
Well, it wasn't a part of the plan, but now that he had asked for it, you'd definitely add a twist in his gift...
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Satoru connected the dots instantly when he saw yarn and needles—what else were you doing aside from knitting?
His sweet wife, who woke up early just to make a handmade gift for his birthday—ahh, his heart could've burst. It was so cute and so you, the warmhearted being that you were.
He would go back early today, he decided, as he strolled the halls of the Jujutsu High with a cheerful tune. You were certainly waiting back at home and he would shower you with love and praise just for your efforts alone these past few days.
And so, he would have never expected that when he received a call from Nanami that afternoon, his world would utterly shatter in the most terrifying way.
“Gojo-san, please, you must come back.” Nanami was always steadfast even in the direst situations. And yet, now he was breathing hard, and panicking. “Something happened. You must go back to your residence—”
In that moment all he could think of was you and his baby. His entire world. Were you hurt?
He didn’t dwell on it—or rather, he couldn’t. His fingers went to rip his blindfold off as a sense of exponential dread creeped in and threatened to engulf him whole—a very, very strange, unfamiliar feeling to him—and he teleported back to his haven in a blink of an eye.
He had been ready to unleash hell, to see you lying on your own pool of blood, or anything. No, that was something he could never be ready for, but he would somehow make it right—
“Ooh, there he is!”
“Already?!”
“Nevermind—”
—and suddenly, he was swept into a whirlwind of confusion and commotion.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOJO-SENSEI!”
Today is December 7.
It took a while for Satoru to discern everything, with his pulsating heartbeats and the rush of emotions that overwhelmed him. His eyes darted from each and every face who were suddenly in his house, searching for yours—
“Satoru!” you greeted him from behind Nanami, radiantly beaming, and only then could he finally breathe. You are safe—you’re well—
You had meant for it as a joke, a little payback for all the grievances he had caused you—and let’s not forget, Nanami—but you immediately regretted it when you had a look over the absolute terror in his heavenly blue eyes that you loved so much.
You had seen this once, before, when he proposed to you.
“Satoru.” You waltzed towards him, gently cradling his stunned face in your hands. “Hey,” you coaxed him with an apologetic smile, reassuring him of your presence.
Satoru looked at you squarely in the eyes, and as he fully took in the sight of you, he let out a shuddering breath and pulled you close with a firm arm around your waist and and the other around your back.
“You evil woman,” he murmured in your ears, and you could feel the slight tremble of his body and the way his heart was still thumping wildly inside his sturdy chest, which made you feel even more sorry.
“Whoa, that got you good, huh?” Panda remarked with a bemused grin.
“As expected,” Megumi snorted.
“Salmon! Salmon!”
“Ehh, that’s actually sweet…” Maki noted thoughtfully. “I would have never expected him to drop everything that fast just to go back here only after a suspicious phone call—”
“Of course he would!” Yuta rebuked with pride. “It’s his wife after all! And Nanami-san truly did a really convincing job at it!”
Nanami. Satoru casted a stern glare toward his junior, while the man in question awkwardly coughed. How did you even involve him in this?
Nah, he would deal with him later.
Despite the scare that got him good, your little plan commenced as it should. The closest of his friends and students were there to throw him this silly birthday party, as well as shower him with a plethora of gifts.
You had managed to round up his students to write birthday wishes for him in a scrap book filled with various photographs throughout the past year. This is sweet, he thought.
And one note tugged at his heartstrings the most:
Thank you, sensei, for everything — Yuta.
If anything he did ever made an impact on those young sorcerers, then Satoru was wholeheartedly glad. He wanted them to grow and made their own path in this unforgiving world, and their gratitude stirred a profound sense of relief within him.
“Here.” He was genuinely surprised when Megumi abruptly pushed a long, thin box toward him next, shyly averting his gaze. “Happy birthday.”
A fountain pen. It must have costed him some. It was strange, but Satoru felt oddly emotional.
The kid was barely six when he first approached him. He was prickly and sour and definitely wasn't welcoming. And then, he had matured right before his eyes. Satoru couldn’t help ruffling his hair vigorously and snickered, disregarding the scowl directed his way.
Nanami extended his well-wishes, and even though he still had a score to settle with him later, he was happy to have him here. Shoko couldn’t come but she left you with a recorded message.
“Happy birthday, Gojo, idiot,” Shoko was grinning in the video you played. “I'm sorry I can't be there, but my wish is for you to tone down your antics. We could all use a bit less of that.”
The two remaining reminders of the bluest spring in his life. Something pricked his heart at the stark reminder that they were not whole—and if only that someone was here, they would—but the fact that these two thought of him was enough.
And now, at last, it was time for your gift. Satoru thought he knew what it was, but as he carefully opened the ivory box, a profound sense of warmth still washed over him.
Mittens, with the color of freshly fallen snow, lay in the box—two pairs in total. One was remarkably tiny, seemingly tailored for a baby, while the other was notably larger, undoubtedly meant for him.
You. Him. The baby. By this time next year, there would be three of you. The happy picture of all of you together in near future was a gift in and of itself. You two are his everything.
Satoru went by his instincts and grasped your arm, crashing his lips against yours ardently, beaming with the broadest grin. He paid no heed to the squeals and disapproving glances from everyone around, as he felt entitled to do so—declaring his love boldly so you would know… that he was utterly, hopelessly in love with you.
That he was grateful for you in this otherwise dreary life.
And that if there were any other lives he might live after this ended... then he hoped the heavens would always bring you back to him—and for you to always choose him just like this, no matter what.
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Epilogue
“So you really did call Nanami at six in the morning.”
Later that night, just before bed, your husband was still holding a grudge on you for frightening him back in the day, evident by the permanent purse of his lips.
You shrugged, buttoning the last button of your sleepwear. “I did… but it’s for greater purpose, so… yeah.”
“I can’t stand this. I’m suing you for collateral damage.”
You almost laughed. “Pffft—what? What damage—”
“My fragile heart! You can’t do that to me and expect I won’t charge you!”
“Well…” You noted with a meaningful smile. You couldn’t say you didn’t expect this, because Satoru always got pouty whenever he was irked in one way or another, and so in advance, you had actually been prepared for this.
You caught him off guard when you suddenly sat on his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers teasing his undercut. It was a nice change of pace, seeing the faint blush coloring his cheeks as he steadied you by your waist.
“…what if I say… I still have one present left for you?”
So, what did you get a man who already has everything for his birthday?
Your whole heart, of course.
And if you were in the mood for an additional surprise, a brand new pair of lacy lingerie you had under your pajamas might do the trick.
3K notes · View notes
syn0vial · 6 months
Text
Astarion Voicelines: Healing/Helping/Buffing (Now updated for Patch 1.3)
A compilation of Astarion's voicelines when he's healing a character with a spell, using the "help" action to free them from an immobilized position, or casting a buffing spell.
Voice lines added between patches 1.1 and 1.3 have been marked with bold text.
Healing (Negative Approval)
Of course you need help.
Waste of a spell.
There's always something.
A poor investment.
Don't bleed on me.
If I must.
Just don't bleed on me.
I should let it fester.
Do I have to touch them?
You're bleeding. Again.
Oh for Gods' sake.
I won't always save you.
Healing (Neutral Approval)
Stop bleeding - it's distracting.
We'll fix what we can.
Try not to die.
You're leaking.
Let's not die yet.
You owe me.
That's enough wasted blood.
There's life in you yet.
Let's fix what we can.
Healing. How novel.
Stop bleeding!
Fine, I'll save you.
Healing (Positive Approval)
A helping hand.
No more wasted blood.
We need you strong.
Let's play doctor.
We'll patch you up.
Let's not die yet.
You're wasting blood.
We need you strong.
It's not your time.
Let's fix that.
You're not dying.
Healing (Romantic Interest)
Let's fix you up.
Let's not waste any blood.
Let's lay on hands.
Let's play doctor.
No, no - that won't do.
The kiss of life.
Stay strong, darling.
You're not going down.
A little pick-me-up.
Healing touch.
Shhh, it's all right.
Helping (Negative Approval)
Of course you're stuck.
Of course they're trapped.
Let's get you loose.
Help the idiot.
Worse than useless.
Some don't deserve saving.
I should just leave you.
Oh no, is someone stuck?
You're a danger to yourself.
How have you survived this long?
I could just leave them...
I'll help. This time.
Can't they wriggle free?
So helpless...
Damned fool.
Give me patience.
Give me strength.
Oh no, they're stuck.
Helping (Neutral Approval)
Why am I not surprised?
Someone needs help.
What have you done now?
Yes yes, I'll save you.
Not that I'll get any thanks...
Must I?
Yes, fine.
Fine.
All right, I'm coming.
Yes, I'll free you.
Let's go already.
Your hero is here.
Do I have to do everything?
Yes, yes, I'm coming.
All right, I'm coming!
Fine, I'll free you.
Let's get you loose.
Oh for goodness' sake.
Because I've nothing better to do.
Get back in the fight.
I swear...
Helping (Positive Approval)
Ha! Oh I shouldn't laugh.
Help is here.
Relax, I've got you.
Come on, let's move.
I'll free you.
Your hero is coming.
All right, all right.
Let's get you up.
I'll get you loose.
Come on, move.
Easy, I'm here.
Hold on, I'm coming.
Helping (Romantic Interest)
A sticky situation.
Let's get you free.
I'm coming.
Really, darling?
Don't worry, I'm here.
Let's get you moving.
You look good helpless.
Maybe they like being restrained?
Don't worry, I'm here.
Let's get you moving.
You'll be free soon.
Oh I shouldn't laugh.
In a spot of bother, hmm?
Buffing (Negative Approval)
Try not to waste it.
Let's waste a spell - why not?
Do I have to do everything?
Useless.
Of course you need help.
Just try not to die.
What a waste.
Yes, fine.
Fine.
If I must.
Do I have to?
Buffing (Neutral Approval)
How did you last so long without me?
Do not waste this.
Don't worry, I'm here.
Someone needs help, I see.
Yes, all right.
A little help.
All right, here.
Don't waste this.
You clearly need some help.
Let's try to survive, hmm?
Stay strong!
Do not let me down.
Try not to die.
I swear, if you just die...
Fine, here!
Just try to survive, will you?
Buffing (Positive Approval)
Lucky I'm here.
Where would you be without me?
Here you go.
This should help.
Better safe than stiff.
A little boost.
A friend in need.
Someone needs a little help.
Just a moment.
Buffing (Romantic Interest)
I've got you.
Let's keep you safe.
Let's keep you cute.
Help is here.
Don't worry, I'm here.
For you, darling.
Just in case
Let's be safe.
Here, darling.
This should help.
No need to thank me.
4K notes · View notes
midnightarcheress · 1 month
Text
cowgirl
a little bar challenge characters: simon 'ghost' riley, john 'soap' mactavish, kyle 'gaz' garrick, john price cw: nsfw, fem!reader, tf141 lusting for their teammate, idk there's nothing much
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"i'm not going on that!" you exclaimed, crossing your arms at the man in front of you.
the buzzing of a bar after a successful mission was a familiar sound for the task force. the glasses clinking, the chatter of old and new friends, the horrible background music, and the abhorrent pick-up lines would, weirdly enough, calm your nerves after days covered in heavy gear and harboring pent-up stress. or maybe the source of your mind's serenity was just the alcohol already flowing on your bloodstream, courtesy of the three tequila shots you were - willingly - forced into drinking.
"come on, bonnie, it will be fun!" Soap said, pointing at the sign propped above the mechanical bull, "besides, ye can win the hat for us."
you scoffed, glancing at the direction the scot referred, right after seeing another contender fall to the bouncy mat under the bull, followed by a string of boo's from the watchful horde. bold red lettering stated 'break the bar's record and win a cowboy hat!', tempting drunk custumers into fooling themselves for a measly prize.
"i bet she's scared," Gaz prompted, adding fuel to Johnny's pleas, "don't wanna be mocked by the crowd."
you rolled your eyes in response, "i'm not scared, Gaz, i just don't see what all the fuss is about. why don't you do it?"
"nuh-uh, don't turn this on me, missy. you're the one being challenged here," he retorted, earning a soundful hum from Soap, "tell you this, if you manage to stay there for a full minute, i'll pay you a twenty. don't even have to stand the whole three minutes of the record."
Ghost and Price stayed quiet during the whole exchange, unimpressed by the trio's shenanigans. they had endured too many drinking competitions, bets, dares, arguments and blatantly stupid ideas coming from the youngsters of the squad over the years, so nothing fazed the two superiors. underneath their apathy, however, lied a real sense of entertainment, illustrated by discreet smirks after particularly dumb comments - usually dropped by Soap's mouth.
"make it a fifty and we have a deal." you smirked, sipping from your beer pint. if you were gonna humiliate yourself in public, it better be for real cash.
"fifty if you break the record, how does that sound?"
after a second of pondering and a few too many glances at the machine's movements, studying it meticulously to engrave how to properly react when the controller jolts the apparatus from side to side, you uttered a hesitant yes, winning a cheerful chant from your friends and some whistles from the audience. 
you stepped on the mat and quickly hopped on the mechanical bull, adjusting your legs around the fake saddle. it shouldn't be that hard, right? the initial movements were easy - just holding on the chord and letting the laws of motion do the work. you didn't want to admit, but it was actually pretty fun.
eventually, the controller decided he was being too gentle and started picking up the pace, making your body rock back and forth on bull, decision that knocked the air out of your lungs for a split second, before you composed yourself and tightened your grip on the handles like your life depended on it. the crowd shouted gleefully, encouraging you to push through, despite a few snarky comments preying on your fall, just the expected.
what you didn't expect - and neither realized - was the way your teammates were reacting.
Gaz stood there with his jaw almost reaching the floor, being impressed not only by your sturdy grip, but mostly by the way your back arched when the machine tilted forward, defining your muscles through the skin-tight fabric of your shirt. even if you didn't endure the whole minute from the initial bet, he was willing to give you his entire wallet, just to watch you ride it again, and definitely not to imagine you bouncing on his lap for a little longer.
Soap, who has always been aware of your beauty, suddenly had to sit down after feeling his pants tighten at the sight of your plump ass jiggling due the repeated impacts on the bull's back, in desperate attempts to grind yourself. in addition, the tiniest bit of your lacy underwear peeking out of the dark jeans that hugged your hips flawlessly wasn't helping with his situation.
the daring smile that painted your lips, juxtaposing the concentrated frown of your eyes as you tried your best to not fall during an exceptionally wild movement, only supplied Ghost's cock with an overflow of blood, twitching at the view of your plush thighs clenching around the bucking machine whenever it defied your determination by leaning too much on the sides, shaking to make you collapse on the mat.
Price, however, acted as gentleman the whole time, just admiring your ability and strength to stay clutched to the unpredictable machinery. that, of course, was only until he got a view of your perfectly round tits, taunting the edges of your low-cut top and threatening to spill out at any given minute, ready to give him a real show. the adrenaline-filled flush that gave your cheeks an innocent pink hue, felt very similar to the sudden rush on his shaft that made your captain almost choke on his scotch.
three minutes and forty-seven seconds.
"that was so much fun!" your giggly shout and stumbling figure getting closer to the group was enough to snap the men out of their trance. they quickly took notice of your wide grin and the brown cowboy hat placed on your head, followed by the loud screaming of the public that just witnessed the bar's record being broken. 
"come on, pay up, Gaz." you said, sticking your palm to receive your well deserved money in a contained victory dance.
the four men glanced at each other, gathering the courage to speak up after your little performance that had them weak on the knees for a colleague. 
"didn't think you had it in ye, bonnie." Soap stated as Gaz reached for the wallet in his back pocket, almost considering giving you a fat tip for the spectacle. the sergeants were certainly doing a poor job in hiding the blush on their cheeks and small beads of sweat on their foreheads, consequence of trying to ignore the tent formed on their trousers.
your superiors, on the contrary, remained quiet and seemingly undisturbed by the previous scene, silently sipping from their glasses but still watching the chatting trio. only now, they wouldn't dare to get up and risk the others - specifically you - noticing their throbbing cocks marking their pants, yearning for the touch of your silky flesh.
after collecting your gains, you rapidly swayed to the bar counter, ordering a new drink with your sweet, sweet money, while the task force members ultimately etched the sight of you riding the mechanical bull in the deepest corner of their brains - saving the images for the great release when you all get back to base.
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okay this is my first official thingy i feel so silly. also english is not my first language so...
2K notes · View notes
tgcg · 9 days
Text
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happy day of egbert
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CG: DON'T YOU JUST HAVE THE MANUAL SOMEWHERE?
TG: dude its the most overwhelmingly basic thing on the planet trust me i literally did all the other settings for you
TG: all you gotta do is point the thing at egbert
TG: half press to focus subject
TG: press down fully and bam done the shit is shot
CG: BUT --
TG: i know youre desperate for this to be rocket science but its genuinely like first grade biz i promise whatever pic you take is gonna be fine
===
EB: yeah, come on karkat!
EB: i am only going to be the birthday bad ass for like, 24 hours total you know.
EB: longest birthday of my LIIIIIIIIFE. haha.
EB: oh hey, from one birthday-dooms day guy to another…
EB: i am pretty sure you understand the magnitude of what i just said!
===
CG: OH HEY. FUCK YOU.
CG: I'M JUST ACCOUNTING FOR THE LITERAL FUCKING INEVITABILITY THAT WHEN I TAKE THIS PHOTO, SOME INSIDIOUS LITTLE KARMA GNOME WILL FROLIC ONTO THE SCENE IN AN UNBELIEVABLE STROKE OF LOATHSOME SERENDIPITY TO BURY ME IN 12 CUBIC METERS OF FOOL-GRADE FUCKING IDIOT POWDER.
CG: AT WHICH POINT ANOTHER HEFTY BOULDER WILL BE ADDED TO THE BULGING MACRO-BINDLE OF SHAME YOU PEOPLE HAVE FORCED ME INTO CARRYING MY WHOLE LIFE.
CG: SHIT, SOMEONE HAS GOTTA LOOK OUT FOR MY ASS.
TG: alright give us a sec
TG: huddle formation
EB: psssshhh, alright.
===
TG: youre not gonna fuck this up
TG: your ass is completely secure dude
TG: i got the double foam padded booster seat and you know that shit is strapped on this 5mph drive through quaint ol piss-easyville
EB: you know if it really is so bad you can just re-take it, right?
EB: it is really not worth aggravationing your sponge over.
TG: 'xactly
TG: knights honor that shit isnt hooked up to my ishades and will not instantly forward me a copy in crisp HD of whatever blunder youre cooking in your beautiful nugbone
===
CG: IT'S NOT JUST THAT.
CG: HAVEN'T I SHADOWED YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY SHENANIGANS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TOSS ME A GODDAM BONE?
CG: I MEAN. I FEEL LIKE I'M READY FOR THIS. I'VE BEEN PRIMED FOR THIS BULLSHIT FOR EQUINOXES AT THIS POINT, WATCHING YOU PRANCE AROUND WITH THIS FUCKING THING.
TG: woah wait youre legit into it?
CG: YES, I AM LEGIT FUCKING INTO IT.
CG: AND I KNOW IT HAS SETTINGS YOU'RE HIDING FROM ME. WHAT IF I WANT TO TAKE A BLACK AND WHITE SHOT, HUH? WHAT IF I WANT TO ADJUST THE "APERTURE" OR THE "EXPOSURE" OR SOMETHING.
TG: alright i dig the enthusiasm but maybe we can unwrap that shit when we dont have someone waiting for us
TG: i didnt know you were scoping photography man you shoulda said something!
CG: I WAS PLANNING TO! I DIDN'T ENVISION IT COMING UP SO FRIGGIN SUDDENLY MAN.
TG: i promise ill open the pandoras fuckin box of snap addicts anonymous afterwards alright
===
CG: OK, FINE. BUT I AM HOLDING YOU TO THA --
===
CG: HA HA EGBERT. VERY FUCKING FUNNY.
CG: FOR YOUR SAKE I SERIOUSLY HOPE THIS IS JUST AN EMBARRASSING NOSTALGIA-DRIVEN LAPSE IN HUMOR AND NOT A GENUINE ATTEMPT TO "PRANK" ME. I REALLY DO!
EB: huh? who is this "egbert" you speak of? i have never heard of such a character.
CG: OH, JUST THIS BULGECRUD-HUFFING IMBECILE THAT FALLS BACK ON SHITTY PRACTICAL JOKES SO PLAYED-OUT THAT THEY PHYSICALLY HURT TO BEAR WITNESS TO.
CG: MY LOWER JAW IS THREATENING TO REVERSE-DROP WITH ENOUGH VELOCITY TO BURROW DIRECTLY INTO MY THOUGHT SPONGE, KILLING ME INSTANTLY.
CG: SO EITHER GET SOME NEW MATERIAL OR GET ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, YOUR PICK.
EB: damn, ok. that does sound like some pretty serious bullshit, but…
===
EB: whoever that weirdo next to you is kind of seems like he needs medical resistance more than you do!
CG: WHAT
1K notes · View notes
astonmartinii · 3 months
Text
if you need me, let me know, gonna be around [mamma mia part seven] | formula one social media au
drivers: sebastian vettel, fernando alonso & fernando alonso
flo has finally given y/n the experience of motherhood, but she’ll never forget about her overgrown kids
MAMMA MIA MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, sebastianvettel and 1,934,033 others
tagged: jensonbutton
yourusername: venturing out from christmas hibernation and adding to the already overflowing collection of teddies. oh, and getting pics like that of jens while he's out "having a job"
view all comments
user1: i am a simple woman, i see dilf jenson, i lose all sense of reality
user2: gnawing at the bars of my enclosure
jensonbutton: oh wow who is that handsome specimen on the last slide?
sebastianvettel: the man who carelessly abandoned his family !!!
fernandoalo_oficial: a man who couldn't handle that i was the best driver in the family
jensonbutton: what ???
sebastianvettel: i'm sorry... is that the ghost of the man we once knew
jensonbutton: i'm not dead
fernandoalo_oficial: to me you are
yourusername: okay guys ... the bit is up !! we do miss you jense but we're happy you're happy :)
sebastianvettel: sure.... well at least you won't try and worm your way into the crochet club
fernandoalo_oficial: as long as you still come to some of my races :)
user3: glad to see parenthood has not changed these fools
charles_leclerc: why do my selfies never make the instagram :(
yourusername: charlie, if i posted every time you sent me a picture of you crying that's all my instagram would be
charles_leclerc: but ........ i thought i was your favourite
yourusername: you know i don't have a favourite
charles_leclerc: sure if that's what you want to tell yourself
maxverstappen1: we all know you say that to not hurt charlie's feelings because i'm your favourite
fernandoalo_oficial: you people are so dramatic
maxverstappen1: says you old man, i can scroll up you know
sebastianvettel: well you're all second to flo
charles_leclerc: she's disqualified from this competition, she's your actual child you have to say she's your favourite
jensonbutton: it's more who annoys us the least
user4: 2024 and nothing has changed here
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sebastianvettel
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liked by yourusername, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,045,388 others
sebastianvettel: love being miles away, missing my baby and getting a running commentary of how my "grid kids" are terrorising y/n
view all comments
user7: seb is on a mission to pick up every dad hobby ever. first beekeeping and now sailing
user8: don't forget the gardening and the crochet
user9: he's collecting the infinity stones of dilfism
yourusername: a full eight hours of sleep looks so good on you
sebastianvettel: so i don't look good all the time 🤨
yourusername: of course you do handsome. me and flo miss you :((
sebastianvettel: don't say that i miss you all so much
fernandoalo_oficial: maybe that's your sign to come home?
jensonbutton: yeah i think you should listen to the universe seb, you like all that crystal and salt of the earth stuff
yourusername: sebbbbbbbbb :(((((
sebastianvettel: STOP
user10: they are so precious to me
yourusername: no but seriously if i have to teach another grid kid how to iron i might lose my mind
charles_leclerc: ummmmm stop blasting me on main?
yourusername: learn to iron then
sebastianvettel: you still don't know how to iron? i thought i taught you in 2019?
charles_leclerc: clearly not well enough !! and y/n please name and shame the others so i'm not alone
yourusername: @landonorris @logansargeant sorry
landonorris: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU Y/N? I CALLED YOU IN CONFIDENCE
logansargeant: i don't have any excuse, thank you for the lesson y/n :)
jensonbutton: at least one of our kids is well mannered
charles_leclerc: i am well mannered, sorry i love my grid mum and her kid. i do semi-know how to iron but needed an excuse to see flo :(
user11: free my girl from these incompetent men
mickschumacher
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liked by sebastianvettel, fernandoao_oficial and 921,743 others
tagged: yourusername
mickschumacher: thanks nurse y/n and nurse flo for helping me - sorry about your mug
view all comments
user12: the plaster :((((((((
jensonbutton: IT WAS YOU WHO BROKE MY I <3 NASCAR DILFS MUG
mickschumacher: sorry !
jensonbutton: nuh uh mister @sebastianvettel sort your kid out
sebastianvettel: mick said he was sorry jenson, leave him be
jensonbutton: but when lando put the rubbish in the wrong recycling he had to go litter picking with you I WANT A NEW MUG
yourusername: you guys know they aren't actually your kids, you can't put them in time out
yourusername: you can barely put your own child in time out
fernandoalo_oficial: she's too cute i don't want to make her cry
landonorris: but it's fine to make me cry?
fernandoalo_oficial: yes. in fact, it's quite fun
landonorris: Y/N!!!!
yourusername: okay, babies let's all put the phones down for this evening.
user13: nooooo y/n please i could watch these idiots argue all day
yourusername: the main thing is that your finger is all okay and that you got a cute plaster out of it
mickschumacher: i very much love my lil cat finger
yourusername: so does flo, i think you might be stuck doing puppet shows for the forseeable future
mickschumacher: anything for miss flo
user14: mamma mia family dynamics you are everything to me
fernandoalo_oficial: why did mick get a kitty plaster and i got told to do it myself :(
yourusername: because you're a grown man and you injured yourself by tripping with darts in your hands
fernandoalo_oficial: mick is a grown man - HE CAN VOTE just because he needs seb's help with the paperwork does not change that
mickschumacher: you said yourself they are confusing !!
sebastianvettel: ignore him mick
fernandoalo_oficial: booooooooo
user15: i know these men provide the best entertainment for flo even if she doesn't understand a word they're saying
yourusername: she finds them very entertaining which then starts a competition to who can make her laugh the most
yourusername
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liked by sebastianvettel, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,447,734
tagged: alexalbon, lilymunhe
yourusername: sometimes even my most competent grid kid needs some help, happy anniversary alex and lily x
view all comments
user16: UGH this is so cute
alexalbon: grid mum or emotional support retail assistant?
lilymunhe: so how much of the heartfelt gift was really you
alexalbon: 90% !!! i swear
yourusername: it was all alex he just needed the support (idk he said that jewellery shops are stressful)
alexalbon: they are !! i don't know how big fingers are :(
lilymunhe: thank you y/n wouldn't want the 27 year old man to get lost at the mall
yourusername: no worries, i somehow gained at least 15 extra children along with flo, i just go with it. he's less hassle than charles and max
charles_leclerc: rude.
maxverstappen1: gasp!
user17: i love how much y/n has really embraced the grid mum life
user18: i don't think she had much choice 😭
user19: the way she's like "oh i'll help you all with anything you need" and takes flo on all of these side missions and the guys just leave them to die 😭
user20: they're such dad's who don't want the cat but end up attached but don't want to show it
jensonbutton: wait which one of us claim alex? is it me? why was i not invited?
alexalbon: ur my williams dad :) and i think this trip needed a woman's touch (and flo's touch obvs)
jensonbutton: rude i give great gifts
fernandoalo_oficial: considering he's one of the least feral and has lily, i want to claim alex
sebastianvettel: i have too many kids you guys can have alex
alexalbon: sebastian! did our gardening afternoons mean nothing ?
lilymunhe: we'll take it nando
sebastianvettel: did you or did you not just make it a competition with george to see who could plant potatoes the fastest and then make a mess of my vegetable garden
georgerussell63: GUILTY
yourusername: soz but you all have to claim all of them, my rules now
user21: y/n and flo going to rule that house with an iron fist
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fernandoalo_oficial
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liked by yourusername, jensonbutton and 1,309,244 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
fernandoalo_oficial: glad to be back on the podium, but even more proud to call you my grid kid. we all love you, especially flo :)
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user24: THEY HAVE MATCHING MIFFY PLUSHIES
user25: miffy is dutch so that might be why max got them matching ones :)
yourusername: and flo is surgically attached to her miffy (she has named her maxi, even if she can barely say it)
maxverstappen1: you are one of my heroes and it was a pleasure to share the podium with you. there's no one else in the world i'd love to dedicate my podium to than lil mia x
fernandoalo_oficial: you've got me crying again
maxverstappen1: get it all out old man
fernandoalo_oficial: already back to the old man 🤨 i guess i'll take the nice messages while i can
user26: nando getting all mushy is so cute i can't believe this is where we are
charles_leclerc: let it be known that if i had a car fast enough i would also dedicate a win to flo, but for now she'll have to settle for a song
fernandoalo_oficial: is silvia going to kill you? because seb and y/n might kill me if they get your ass over this
charles_leclerc: but it's true, no?
fernandoalo_oficial: you will not trick me into slandering my old team charlie
maxverstappen1: LOL YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE
charles_leclerc: YOU KNEW THAT WAS MY IDEA THIEF
sebastianvettel: charles why am i getting a call from silvia?
maxverstappen1: LOL
charles_leclerc: brb just going to lourdes
jensonbutton: lol way to get outshined by your kid
fernandoalo_oficial: at least i was in the position to be outshined by my kid
jensonbutton: ERGH you know you can't bring that up
fernandoalo_oficial: you said that you couldn't wait to get away from us
jensonbutton: oop.
yourusername: my wonderful boys!
maxverstappen1: :D
fernandoalo_oficial: i love you both :)
maxverstappen1: awww thanks nando
fernandoalo_oficial: i meant y/n and flo but sure love you too buddy
yourusername
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, jensonbutton and 1,610,449 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: maxy, this means more than you could know, flo very much enjoyed watching 'blu' go fast :)
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user27: is this family going to make me cry? maybe.
user28: side note, how many animal onesies does flo have they're so cute
user29: she's like a lil teddy bear
maxverstappen1: glad to have officially won the title of flo's favourite brother
charles_leclerc: NOT SO FAST MISTER
maxverstappen1: maybe if you were faster you would've dedicated a win to flo :P
charles_leclerc: LOW BLOW
danielricciardo: don't even get me started on the daniel ricciardo erasure
maxverstappen1: shush daniel let the problem children talk
charles_leclerc: yeah daniel, problem children only
sebastianvettel: should we intervene?
yourusername: no, i'm intrigued as to where this is going to go
jensonbutton: i for one love watching these dummies fight
fernandoalo_oficial: let me get my popcorn
maxverstappen1: are we just entertainment to you?
jensonbutton: yes!
charles_leclerc: the minute flo can talk ASK HER WHO IS HER FAVOURITE
sebastianvettel: sure?
user30: they can never ask that question, one of them might never recover
maxverstappen1: for real though, i love you guys and i love flo. i'll send nando home with the trophy as well :)
yourusername: awwww thank you maxy :) @sebastianvettel @fernandoalo_oficial @jensonbutton new shelf needed please
jensonbutton: i'll leave this one to "the woodwork king"
sebastianvettel: am i the only one who does anything in this house?
fernandoalo_oficial: you can't be called the woodwork king and not do the work
yourusername: you don't even let them help seb
sebastianvettel: UGH.
jensonbutton
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liked by sebastianvettel, fernandoalo_oficial and 912,774 others
tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo
jensonbutton: day 4,000+ of losing our actual girlfriend to our overgrown kids
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user31: PICTURE OF DANNY WITH FLO ALERT ALERT
yourusername: not my fault you guys picked up so many stray cats while in the sport
jensonbutton: i only claim lando and alex, the rest are the others' faults
yourusername: i know you love it really
jensonbutton: not when the little tornadoes hit our house, eat all of our food and steal my baby
danielricciardo: whoops
jensonbutton: and terrorise my pets DANIEL
danielricciardo: they terrorise each other jenson, maybe they aren't as well trained as you thought
yourusername: oh god...
jensonbutton: HOW DARE YOU !!!! BECKETT, SALMON AND CREAM CHEESE ARE VERY WELL TRAINED AND WELL BEHAVED
user32: old men are going crazy we love to see it
sebastianvettel: are we a bed and breakfast?
yourusername: i fear so. you need to run back from whatever ocean you are in we are low on staff now jenson is back racing. flo might be cute but she's a liability in the kitchen
fernandoalo_oficial: maybe we should just kick them out
yourusername: noooo :( not my babies
fernandoalo_oficial: can we at least charge them?
maxverstappen1: you people are the most stingy millionaires i have ever met
charles_leclerc: i pay you in piano sorry
yourusername: don't listen to them boys, flo and i love having you over
user33: so like is there any way we could open the mamma mia bed and breakfast to the public
fernandoalo_oficial: why do the grid kids see our family more than us?
yourusername: come home more often then :(
fernandoalo_oficial: i'm working on it the plane is delayed :(
jensonbutton: personally i would just run home but that's just me
sebastianvettel: i would simply just walk on water
fernandoalo_oficial: shut up. see you later
yourusername: yay !!!!
fin.
note: writer's block has really been beating my ass so there's always mamma mia to get it flowing again. i'm still working on requests, hopefully they'll come along a little faster now! also - i started an instagram for my small business i am opening it's @badlydrawnf1cats, feel free to follow x
edit: mamma mia will return
taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora @faithm120601 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @luv4kani @eugene-emt-roe @magical-spit @ironmaiden1313 @jaydaaasworld @whoreks @rainerax @nonsensical-nonsence @laneyspaulding19 @chelseyyouraverageluigi @lxclerc @gemofthenight @woweewoowa @tagteamedbitch@imagandom@mypage-myfandoms@mehrmonga@asparklysoul @unstableplant @motorsp0rt@multilovebot@lili-flower03 @its-elias-world @jolixtreesunn@nothingfuninthislife@rileynicol3@kodzuvk@mochimommy2002@fluffyspaceprincess@roseseraj@black-swan-blog27@nyrasslut@justdreamersdream@asfaraslifegets@why4anne@ineffableperson@leilanixx@lunyyx @pupbistro @gaypoetsblog@rafaaoli@champomiel@sadsierra2 @rainerax @lokietro @thecubanator2 @nzygftoji @rockyhayzkid @nmw-am @slytherheign @erikasurfer @turn-around-look-at-what-you-see @greigreyhiyyih @duck-duck-goose-18 @dark-night-sky-99 @ironcowboycopnickel @sizzlingghostoperatorbagel @2bormaybenot @42ndbrokencompass @whotfisvale @lichterfee @sticksdoesart @glitterf1 @turn-around-look-at-what-you-see @lighttsoutlewis @tagteamedbitch @glow-ish @sadg3 @kagatinkita @litoriaxu
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nkogneatho · 3 months
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𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑼𝑫𝑬𝑹
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—cw: perversion, panty sniffing, panty fucking, male masturbation, slight degradation and dirty talk, reader is not dating gojo but gojo has his eyes on her.
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—a/n: perv suguru has been on my mind lately cuz he seems so bored and sweet sometimes that i can't help but think he is a closet pervert. shoot me.
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Gojo has always been such an open pervert. he passes comments on you as you walk in front of him. Always teasing you. And you surely didn't miss the way he brushed his hands against your ass subtly when you were talking. But what you found more interesting was his bestfriend. Because he never even looked you way even though you three have been hanging out for a while. It's not like you had romantic feelings for him, but you were damn beautiful and witty. For a man like him to repulse that seemed to shady. And you were right on the money.
You already had a long day and all you wanted to do was hop in the shower then sleep. Panic settled in your eyes when you saw your door unlocked. Shit. I remember locking it. Should I call the police? Wait. I need to check first. You held the key with sharp edges in your fist ad you proceeded to make small and silent steps, making sure not to alert the intruder. You heard distorted creaking noises. As you approached closer, the noise got clearer. You regretted installing the thick laced curtains since it blocked your clear vision. You gulped and finally decided to just face it. Eyes shut close as an instinct before you fluttered them open to finally see Gojo chilling on the couch watching your television.
"What the fuck? How did you get in?"
"You need a safer doorlock. Do you know how easy it was with Suguru's hairpin?" he didn't even spare you a look, as if this was normal.
"I—Toru what are you doing here? If you wanted to hang out you could've called me."
"We ran out of chips."
"We?" You questioned him.
"Ah yes. Suguru's in your bedroom looking for a charger I guess." You sighed and threw the bag on the coffee table in the hall.
Anxiety settled in when you approached closer to your room. Something about Suguru being in your bedroom made your gut twist. You stepped closer to the ajar door. A hint of heavy breathing with moans brushed your ears but you thought it was just your imagination. There's no way—
Your eyes defied your thoughts. Suguru had your black lace panties, tangled in his fingers and wrapped around his cock as he fucked himself.
"fuck. fuck. holy shit! fuck." The moans were too subtle to be noticed but they didn't miss your ears that were now stuck to the door. A part of you didn't want to stop him but you needed to confront this scene that was unfolding in fornt of your eyes. You swayed the door open, announcing your presence. Yet, he wasn't fazed. Droopy eyes with scruched brows locked with your stunned ones but he didn't look bothered in the slightest. Veiny hands continued to fist his cock.
"What are you—"
"Just seeing what is all the fuss about." Before you could complete your sentence, he spoke. "You know—ah fuck!! Satoru always talks about how—shit how good you smell. And," his movement stopped. He brought the hand that had your black kace closer to his face and he sniffed it. A long drag of inhale. "He is right. You smell so fuckin' good." Your cheeks grew hotter. He looked so calm and put together. You always thought Satoru is the unhinged one. But you were proved wrong.
"Suguru—"
"Do you like it?" He asked.
"W-what?" You trembled in a feeling that was so foreign to you. Was it fear? Was it disgust? Perhaps, perversion?
"Don't pull that innocent shit on me," he cocked his brow. "Didn't you wear this last week and whore around me?" He stepped closer to you. "Bending over and shit so I can notice you." Big hand brushed against your clothed cunt. "You can fool around with him all you want but I know you want the forbidden fruit, baby." He cupped it so hard. "Attention whore."
You moaned.
Shit. You moaned loud.
Suguru's eyes looked behind you to see signs of Gojo because he sure as hell wouldn't have missed that sound. But he wasn't near. Maybe he was so indulged in whatever show he was watching.
"Here's what we're gonna do," he mumbled in your ear. "We're gonna go upstairs. I am going to lock the door and fuck you, darlin'," you were still processing his words. "and I am fine with you screaming your lungs out if you want to let him know I am taking what's his."
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tags: @eapoes @charisma-rockstar @erenmyman @dawgkuna @hellkaiserinphoenix @anxious-chick
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babyleostuff · 18 days
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౨ৎ voicemails lee chan leaves you while he’s on tour - fluff (with a pinch of angst), established relationship, gn!reader (pet names used: baby, sweetie)
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...one: hi baby, so we just landed. i can't wait to get to the hotel, i'm exhausted. hope you're sleeping well too, i'll call you in the morning. love you
…two: huh, i think i forgot how it feels to sleep without you. i couldn’t fall asleep yesterday, at all. did you, um, did you sleep well? or is it me just overreacting maybe
...three: why did you turn off your location, baby? you're acting suspicious again, and i'm scared. don’t think for a second i forgot about that last prank you pulled
...four: what are you up to today? any plans? make sure to eat before you go out, and text me when you have some time
...five: hi, so this is seungcheol. shut up dino, or i won’t give you the phone back. your boyfriend got a bit, eee, drunk, and he wanted to call you to tell you something. someone hold him back or else. the point is, he was too drunk to dial himself so i had to do it for him. dino come here, and say what you want to say. I LOVE YOUUUU
...six: shit, i was so drunk yesterday. i hope i didn’t say anything embarrassing. i’m sure the boys would stop me if i was about to make a fool out of myself, though (pause) yeah, they definitely wouldn’t stop me
...seven: i checked the weather back home, and it’s so cold. make sure to wear my coat that i left you sweetie, it’s the one that you like so much. if you need any hoodies or sweatshirts you can always borrow mine
...eight: saranghae nunbit
...nine: i never would've imagined a game of monopoly could be that intense
...ten: i miss you a lot, you know? i didn't want to tell you earlier, so you wouldn't think i'm clingy, but i really do miss you. do you think we can talk over face time? i don't want to fall asleep alone tonight
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taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @aaasia111 @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau @wonootnoot @hellodefthings @dokyeomkyeom
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