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dilatorywriting · 1 year

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Valentine's Day Special: Let Them Fight

GN!Reader x Malleus Draconia vs. Azul Ashengrotto vs. Vil Schoenheit Word Count: 5.3k

Summary: Who knew that in a world of magic, and mayhem, and outright villainy, that it'd be something as stupid as Valentine's Day that would push these idiots over the edge. Or, Malleus, Azul, and Vil go to war over some chocolates

A/N: This MC/Plot takes place in the Heroes vs Villains universe -- specifically Post-Staff's route, rather than any of our other lovely idiot husbands.

There was always some sort of strange overlap of customs from your world to this one. Halloween seemed to have survived more or less intact (even if it was a bit more, uh, extreme than the subtle evening of giving out treats and dressing as ghosts that you remembered). Winter Holidays were still very much a Thing, even if all other connotations had been stripped from them. Moreover, it was like someone had taken your familiar Earthen calendar and just sort of… mirrored it. Distorted it a bit. Just a lil’ bit more chaos than would have been socially acceptable back home.

So when you made a sly little joke about stocking up on discount chocolates after the Valentine’s Day rush and no one laughed—not even a little chortle, or an irritable eyeroll—you initially thought it was maybe to do with the irrationality of Sam’s Shop ever having a sale to begin with. You had not assumed that, you know, there was no Valentine’s Day at all.

“It’s an important holiday, then? Where you’re from?” Azul mused, busy scribbling endless, chicken scratch, notes in the margins of some form that was probably very important.

“I mean, not really,” you frowned, tossing your Mostro-Branded apron onto its hook. “Maybe. Yes? I don’t really know, actually.”

He hummed and moved to push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Well, whatever it is, I’m always looking for new events to host at the Lounge. What exactly is it?”

“It’s a sort of special day for couples. Romance. Lovey-dovey nonsense,” you shrugged, and watched Azul’s finger slip off the slick metal frame of his glasses and nearly take his eye out. You waved off his obvious disgust with a dramatic sigh (I mean, why else would he be so stiff and red?). “Yeah, yeah. I know. It’s ridiculous.”

“I—I never said that!” he spluttered, and then paused to cough into his fist and clear his throat. “It just—I just wasn’t expecting something like that to…”

“Exist?”

He grinned, wry. His cheeks were still a bit too pink. “Precisely.”

“You would have loved my world,” you said. “Very capitalistic. Lots of cash-grab holidays like that.”

Azul laughed.

“I’m sure I would be fond of any place you came from.” He paused, and his expression puckered up a bit miserably—like he really hadn’t intended to express such a sentiment aloud. But he managed to smooth the sharp line of his frown back into that usual, smarmy, smirk of his easily enough. “But either way! Tell me more!” he grinned, reaching forward to grab a stack of blank paper and a fresh pen. “I’d love to hear all about it.”

The next day you were supposed to help the Drama Club start building some stage scenery for their newest play. It was proper grunt work, which was perhaps the only sort of work you were actually qualified for. And Vil always made sure that there were plenty of disgustingly healthy but still quite tasty snacks available for the help to munch on. The food spread alone would have been worth the trip, but on top of that, Vil had made you promise. Practically a blood oath, binding you and your meager free time to the shitty supply closet in the corner of the Auditorium. And as sour as he could be sometimes, you really could never say no to him when he always looked so heart meltingly fond whenever you did agree to while away the hours at his side. That lovely face and even lovelier smile of his were fucking lethal. A war crime, surely, to use it against someone as plain and susceptible to bribery as you were.

But today you were now an idiot on a mission—an idiot determined to spread the joy of a trashy holiday that really probably shouldn’t exist in the first place, let alone in a world where people worshipped storybook villains as veritable deities. And you’d already bought all the molds, and the trays, and you really didn’t have a lot of spare pocket money to begin with, so letting this investment go to waste would not only be a shame, but a terrible business investment.

“What do you mean you’re not coming,” Vil sneered, glaring down his perfectly straight nose at you.

“I really am sorry,” you said, mostly genuine. “But I have something I need to do this afternoon.”

“You’ve made other plans?” he frowned, something a little too unsettled to fit with his usual regality twisting across his expression.

“I have to get ready for Valentine’s Day,” you explained, and his brow tugged down further. Though that earlier twinge of panic seemed to have vanished at least. You pointedly shook your grocery bag full of goodies. “I’m going to make chocolates for everyone.”

“Chocolates?” Vil echoed, confused.

You nodded. “It’s a tradition back home. You give stuff like candy and flowers to the people you care about. Normally it’s a holiday for couples, or whatever. But. Well…”

The ‘I Am Fully Aware That I’m Single as a Pringle, Please Just Let Me Have This One Thing’ was left unsaid, but it hung in the air around your head like a very persistent storm cloud nonetheless. Vil, magnanimously, seemed perfectly happy to ignore the Woe Is Me implications spewing from your mouth. Instead, he leaned forward until he was dipping precariously close into your personal space. His amethyst eyes had lit with blatant interest at your ramblings, and he hummed low in his throat.

“Is that so?” he mused, gaze lidded and warm. “That sounds… intriguing.”

You nodded past the heady scent of his cologne fogging your head. What was it with attractive people, huh? It was so unfair. You don’t get to look and smell good. Pick a lane. Save some dignity for the rest of us.

“So, I promise I’ll help another day. I just have a feeling making chocolates is going to wind up being a lot harder than I think it will.”

Because that’s how it always went in your stupid slice-of-life shows. The poor, harried, protagonist thinking they’re doing a good deed—painstakingly constructing their own, special, homemade goodies for all their important people. Making them with love. And then having it all blow up in their face like a goddamn, cocoa flavored, nuke. Nope. Not you, motherfucker. Your chocolates were going to be divine. You were going to take every, tropey, precaution in the book. And that of course included allotting yourself ample time to make mistakes your masterpiece.

“Of course,” Vil grinned. “How could I possibly begrudge you for wanting to spend your time on something so heartfelt?”

“Thank you,” you blurted, relived. Because at least he got it. Azul had been so ridiculously insistent that you should prepare all your Valentine’s Day wishes as a team. Which was not the point. He’d spent hours last night trying to wheedle his way into your plans—with endless platitudes about ‘business partners always being there for each other,’ and ‘how would he know if he was celebrating to your standards if he wasn’t given a model to work off of first?’ Utter bullshit. He’d probably just wanted free labor.

“Tomorrow, then?” Vil beamed and you nodded.

“Tomorrow,” you confirmed.

“Well, then,” he hummed. “I better get to work as well. I suppose the scenery can wait.”

You nodded in farewell and began the trek back to Ramshackle and its marginally functional kitchens. You hadn’t realized Vil was taking on any new projects, but if it was enough to have him putting off the Club’s activities as well then it must have been pretty important. Maybe he’d get you tickets to it whenever he finished—whatever it was. If there were tickets? How did any of the things he did actually work? Hell if you knew.

Making chocolates was, in fact, a laughably easy endeavor. And you found yourself cursing every goddamn Shoujo Bullshit Manga under the sun for leading you to think otherwise. The hardest part of the entire thing was fighting off Grim and his wandering paws.

You made up some basic truffles which were, again, stupidly simple. Just some messily chopped chocolate, cream, and a little splash of vanilla to make it Special. Once those were shaped into messy blobs, you dipped them into some more melted chocolate and bam. That was it. That was literally it. You felt like a genius—sitting there mushing up balls of cocoa like high-end playdough.

By 6PM, you had all your little darlings tucked into the refrigerator to harden, all the gauzy, red, boxes lined up on your counter and ready to be filled, and Grim had been placated with an offering of all your dirty mixing bowls. The tiny, demonic, beast was passed out at the dingy kitchen table—one of said bowls wedged onto his head like an astronaut’s helmet. Hopefully it was just a food coma and not, like, an actual coma-coma. Real cats couldn’t eat chocolate, but Grim never really seemed real at all. So hopefully he’d be fine.

You wiped down your cooking space once, twice. Paced up and down the narrow hallway until you were wearing away the already threadbare rugs, and spent way too long just standing in front of the fridge—staring in on your chocolates like a psychotic kidnapper scoping out their next victims.

Eventually you realized that you maybe needed to do something with your evening that wasn’t just creeping on your confections, and set out into the frosty, night, air for a stroll.

Which is, of course, where you ran into your familiar, horned, friend—staring up into the starry sky in a wistful manner that darkened his pale complexion into something nearly ominous. He always looked a bit like that, like something unearthly and detached from the rest of the world.

“Tsunotarou!” you chirped happily, and that adrift-at-sea expression of his melted right off his face.

“Child of Man,” he greeted, inclining his head politely. “I wasn’t expecting to see you this evening.” His brow furrowed, almost confused. “Is it not too cold for you?”

Your breath was, in fact, fogging in front of your face. And you couldn’t really feel your toes anymore. But the electric anticipation of tomorrow was keeping you warm enough. Even if only in spirit.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” you waved him off. And then, because you couldn’t help yourself, you leaned forward on your tippytoes and blurted out, “Happy Almost Valentine’s Day!”

“Valentine’s Day?” Malleus repeated back at you, looking like you’d just handed him an unsolvable differential equation.

“It’s a holiday from back home,” you explained for the umpteenth time that day. “And normally I’m not too fussed about it, but this year I’m really excited to give everyone their chocolates!” You grinned. “And you too, of course. I have to make sure I give them to all my important people.”

The furrow between his brows vanished, but the blatant, gaping, confusion remained. He looked like you’d nearly startled him into an early grave.

“I am one of your most important people?” he asked, slow as a tortoise making its way up an incline.

You nodded cheerfully, still bellied by your earlier culinary successes and excellent mood. “Of course you are! We’re friends, aren’t we? And besides. Valentine’s Day is for showing people how much you care about them.”

“What an interesting concept,” he mused, bringing a finger up to tap at his chin. “To think your world had such a heartfelt tradition—it’s quite a lovely surprise.”

You laughed. “If you think the chocolates are special, you should see what some couples do for each other. Rooms full of flowers, fancy date nights—I’m just managing the bare minimum.”

“Couples?” he echoed, and you felt the first teeny, hot, thread of chagrin work its way past your enthusiasm.

“Well, normally Valentine’s Day focuses on, like, romantic things,” you said, averting your gaze just in time to miss the tension lance through his shoulders. “But it can be for all sorts of affection!” you hastily added.

“Is that so…” the Prince hummed. He lifted his pensive gaze once more and stared you down with that weighted intensity that you’d only just recently learned how not to buckle beneath. “And you wish to celebrate this day. With me?”

“…you don’t mind, do you?” you asked, hesitant.

“Of course not, Child of Man,” he beamed, his lips curling up into a smile that put all his too-sharp teeth on display. “But you’ll have to excuse me now, I’m afraid. It seems I have some preparations to undertake this evening.”

“Oh,” you blinked. “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Yes,” Malleus said. “You will.”

It was officially Valentine’s Day, and you were ready to begin your mission of forcing your sweets onto every, single, one of your reluctant friends. Let them be pissy and tsundere. You weren’t afraid to weep and proclaim your undying, shounen-talk-no-jutsu, levels of friendship. Okay. Maybe you were a little. But these grouchy bastards had very easily become your grouchy bastards, and so help you God, they would suffer under your affection and they would like it.

There were plenty of small boxes—all nice, neat, corners with little bows perched on top. But you had also prepared a singular, larger, tray. It was cleaner cut than the rest, with bold, contrasting, colors and a simple elegance. You stared it down with a strange sort of disquiet brewing in your gut. Maybe you were being presumptuous. Goodness knows you’d more than dealt with the searing, emotionally destructive, consequences of that before. But all the same…

You squared your shoulders and spent a moment convincing yourself that your spine was quite sturdy—a proper, titanium, support system—and then popped the Big Box into the bag with the others.

Your first stop was Heartslabyul, and you burst through the ornate, crimson, doors like a manic home invader.

“I come bearing gifts,” you proclaimed, merrily doling out the boxes to your favorite idiot duo. You set three more aside, with little labels for Riddle, Trey, and Cater respectively. Normally you wouldn’t trust a dorm full of teenage boys not to devour any scrap of unattended food in sight, but Riddle had long since struck the fear of God into these poor lads. So you figured it’d be safe.

Deuce’s face lit up and he accepted the chocolate with near starry-eyed enthusiasm.

“Are these your holiday presents? Like the Santa Claus?” he asked, looking very much like a bouncy golden retriever preparing itself for congratulatory head pats.

You leaned forward with an indulgent huff to give him his pats. “No. But close enough.”

You pawned off three boxes on Ruggie when he tried to duck past you in the hallway—one for him, one for Leona, and one extra as payment for making him do your dirty work of playing delivery boy to Mister Grump in the first place. You slipped Jack his on the way into Trein’s morning lecture, and managed to press a box into Jamil’s hands before he slunk off to the library. Kalim cheered so loudly when you handed him one that your ears started to ring.

And then trouble arrived in the form of two, slippery, eels draping themselves across your shoulders. Normally the destructive duo seemed to act on their own prerogative, but on this fortuitous morning their Lord and Master was surprisingly not too far behind.

“Shrimpy!~” Floyd trilled, dragging you into a one-armed hug that was really more of a slightly-less-aggressive headlock than anything else. “Azul says you came up with this stupid holiday! And he made us work all day yesterdayto put together stuff for the Lounge! It’s not fair!”

Your legs shook under the weight of the new tumor that had made its home on your back.

“Now, Floyd,” Jade chirped. All finely manicured cruelty. “If you’re to blame anyone for going overboard with this entire situation, you ought to lay the fault on our fearless leader.” His bi-colored eyes flashed, amused. “Isn’t that right, Azul?”

Said ‘fearless leader’ looked like he was sucking on a lemon. He glared bitterly at his subordinate, seeming to share an entire, silent, argument with him, before turning back on you with a heavy sigh and the barest hint of angry flush in his cheeks.

“Prefect,” he grinned past his obvious discomfort, all sparkling, white, teeth. “I have to thank you for sharing so much information about this ‘Valentine’s Day’ of yours. It’s such a unique event, and it seems like our preparations at the Lounge are already being received incredibly well.”

“That’s good,” you nodded, trying and failing to shrug the Leech off your shoulders. “I’m glad I could help.”

Azul hummed under his breath, his eyes darting away for a moment. His glasses reflected the muted light of the hall in an odd way—making it difficult to read his expression. He cleared his throat and when he looked back up at you, the tips of his ears had gone pink.

“You’re more than welcome to come by, of course,” he beamed, suave as could be.

“I mean,” you blinked. “I would hope so. I work there.”

Floyd let out a bark of laughter and Jade snickered into his glove. The pleasant pink tinting Azul’s skin was heating to a near sunburned red. He looked down and coughed into his fist.

“Yes…” he mumbled. “I—I’m aware. But what I meant is… What I meant—” He frowned. It was a tight, pouty, little thing that scrunched up his entire face. That mottled red had spread to the bridge of his nose.

“I do believe what Azul is trying to say,” Jade stepped in, clearly taking some sort of pity on his tongue-tied friend. Or perhaps pity was the wrong word for it, seeing how smug he looked, “is that he would like to invite you to the event personally. As an honored guest, not an employee.”

“Oh,” you blinked, startled. Then hesitated, cautious on instinct. There was always some sort of catch to the Octomer’s kindness. “I don’t know if I could afford whatever fancy thing you’ve thrown together.”

“You wouldn’t be paying for it,” Azul assured you, some of that sickly flush having finally started to recede from his cheeks. You hoped he was feeling alright. “You’ve contributed more than enough for the day. It would be on the house.”

Jade loudly cleared his throat and Azul huffed, eyes sliding away yet again.

“I would be paying,” he finally mumbled. And then, even quieter, “As I believe is the custom.”

Just as you were about to thank him for his startling bought of generosity (and also ask after his health, because between the weird, pink, tinge to his skin and the aforementioned generosity, clearly somethingwas out of sorts with him), you noticed a sneaky hand working its way into your bag of goodies, and you immediately were on the defensive.

“Hey!” you snapped, spinning out of Floyd’s stranglehold. “You only get one!”

“Then I want the really big one!” he demanded, making grabby motions at it.

“No!” you squeaked, and clutched it protectively to your chest. The trio looked at you with varying degrees of surprise and you cleared your throat awkwardly. “This one—This one is special.”

“Oh?” Jade cooed, eyes flickering back towards Azul, who seemed determined to look absolutely anywhere else. “Is it now?”

“Awww,” Floyd whined. “That’s no fair! Who’s it for, anyways?!”

You gripped the box tighter and now it was your turn to stiffly avert your eyes down to the ugly carpet. “It’s not—I’m not—” you cleared your throat and forced the jitter from your voice. “I’m not ready to give it to him yet.”

The silence that followed was absolutely the worst thing you’d experienced in a long, long, time. Overblots and all. You could practically hear your blood pounding in your ears. You were just about to turn and beat a hasty retreat when a familiar, snappish, voice called your name from the other side of the corridor.

“There you are, potato,” Vil huffed, coming to stand at your side and bodily inserting himself between you and your tormentors. He met Azul’s petulant sneer with a frankly terrifying one of his own. “What are you doing here? I thought we agreed you’d be eating lunch with me today.”

You remembered no such thing, but if it got you out of this verbal minefield of a conversation, you were more than willing to take the claim at face value.

“Apologies,” Azul cut in with all his usual, mafioso, flair. “But the Prefect will be taking their afternoon meal at the Mostro Lounge today.”

“Is that so?” Vil hummed, sounding positively venomous.

“Unless you think you can make an offer good enough to sway them otherwise,” Azul chirped, equally as unpleasant.

Vil laughed—cold and sharp as crystal. It was the most elegant display of blatant irritation you’d ever seen.

“Of course you’d only consider this entire situation on a transactional basis,” he drawled, entirely unimpressed. Azul flinched and his expression screwed up into something near petulant. “I would expect no less. Are you planning to lock them into a contact too, hmm? Sign away everything in formal, sterile, terms?” Vil crossed his arms, and you were reminded sharply once more how very, very lucky you were to not be on his bad side (even if you hadn’t realized before all this that Azul apparently was on said bad side. You had no idea they disliked each other so terribly). “I really hadn’t expected you to have a single, romantic, bone in your body, and yet somehow I’m still disappointed to be proved so entirely correct.”

Azul looked ready to explode, and even though Jade and Floyd and melted back into the shadows at the start of this entire encounter, the pair of them were starting to look a bit murderous too—like sharks lazily circling the dark, ocean, depths.

“Don’t you think you deserve better?” Vil asserted, turning back to face you with a soft cant of the head. You blinked back in shock.

“Uh,” you gaped, absolutely fucking lost.

And then, like a beacon of unrivaled, black-drenched, hope, you spotted Malleus making his way down the hallway. He was flanked by his trio of housemates-cum-pseudo-bodyguards. Normally you tried to leave him alone when his rabid, green-haired, guard dog was yipping at his heels, and on top of that, the idea of using your classmates’ ingrained fear of the Fae Prince to your own advantage upset your rather staunch sensibilities. But this was an emergency.

“Tsunotarou!” you called, and it absolutely sounded like the cry for help it was.

He perked up immediately and you watched him nearly crash to a standstill. And then his sharp, neon, gaze locked on the dueling Housewardens circling you like a pair of snapping wolves, and his merry expression shuttered into something positively glacial. Which was—Fuck. I mean. Come on. What the fuck was going on today—

“Child of Man,” he droned, crossing the short distance with all the grace of the near-mythical, arcane, master that he was. His posture was more collected and regal than you’d ever seen it, and he loomed all the taller for it.

Azul and Vil had gone tense at your side, one certainly more so than other. The Octomer looked incredibly unsettled at Malleus’s sudden arrival, but Vil just looked angrier. It was the sort of unpleasantness that bloomed whenever someone challenged him or his competencies over and over—inevitably pushing the normally composed beauty into an indignant rage.

“Happy Day of Valentine’s,” Malleus continued, slotting himself firmly into the veritable territory dispute going down. “Are you quite alright?”

No, you wanted to wail. No! I’m so confused! I have no idea what’s going on! I just wanted to give my friends chocolates!

But you never managed to get those words or any others past your lips, because Sebek Zigvolt shot to his master’s side with all the speed of the lightning for which he was so named, and immediately began to scream.

“HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT THE YOUNG MASTER’S AFTERNOON ROUTINE!” he shrieked at the top of his very impressive lungs.

You weren’t sure if he was howling at you (very likely) or just anyone who wasn’t Malleus, but Jade took the opportunity to slink forward from the shadows with a sharp tut-tut.

“Perhaps none of you deserve the Prefect’s special attentions,” he piped in, sounding very much like someone intentionally throwing a cannister of gasoline onto an already roaring fire. “Or any chocolates at all—let alone the ones set aside for someone special.”

At this, silence once more rang through the corridor and you wanted to throttle that stupid eel.

“There is a special box?” Malleus asked first, brow shooting up as his expression tugged with… something.

“I—I mean, I made all of yours special!” you defended, holding the wrapped treasure tightly to your chest. “But… I guess. Yes. There’s one that’s a little bigger than the others.”

At this, all three Housewardens exchanged pointed looks.

Jade smiled serenely once more, and then continued his absolute massacre upon your person.

“Yes, indeed,” he nodded. “And our dearest Prefect only just mentioned that—hmm. How did you word it? Ah. That’s right. ‘I’m not ready to give it to him yet.’”

The trio tensed. All looking absolutely ready to pounce. At—at what, you had no idea.

“Perhaps,” the wretch mused, “it would be best for you all to temper your rage until the victor is decided, hmm?” He paused to tap at his chin for a moment, and then his lips split into a mean, jagged, grin. “Afterwards? Well, I suppose that whole cheery sentiment about ‘love and war’ still holds true.”

You gulped, feeling startlingly like Jade had just tried to serve you up on a silver platter.

But when neither Azul, Vil, or Malleus made any further moves to murder each other… well. As sacrificial as it all felt, at least it must have worked.

The rest of the day passed in a tense sort of fugue. You certainly hadn’t expected your attempts at bringing some holiday cheer to Night Raven to go so… Uh…

But either way, you managed to survive through the rest of the afternoon, and before you knew it, all that remained of all your tireless efforts and good will was the Special Box. The big one. The one that you’d put together with extra care and hopes for better things. You glared down at it for a moment, feeling sweat starting to bead over your palms. But you couldn’t chicken out now. Not after you’d come so far! Everyone was acting so strange, and it was all so weird. And as much as that unfamiliarity had your teeth on edge and your hackles raised, you didn’t want to regret not giving out the last of your well-made sweets.

Well, here goes nothing, you frowned. You took a deep breath, willed yourself to be brave, and smiled your biggest smile.

“Here,” you beamed, more than a little shy and still a bit horrified by whatever pissing match had been going down earlier in the day, and finally offered the grandest of your chocolate boxes to the man standing opposite you.

Divus Crewel accepted your offering daintily, plucking at the crisp, sharp, wrapping with his crimson gloves. He arched one of his thin brows at you and you fought the nervous heat rising in your cheeks.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” you blurted. “I know it’s not a thing here, but I thought it’d be nice.”

The second eyebrow joined the first—practically jumping all the way up into his fringe.

“I appreciate the gesture. Though from what I understand of all the garish advertising I’ve seen for Mostro Lounge’s new event, I assumed this was a holiday for romantic overtures,” he intoned, wry.

You spluttered and waved your hands furiously. “I mean! Normally! Yes! But also…” You trailed off, fighting the urge to fidget. “If you don’t have a—a, well, someone, then Valentine’s is just a nice excuse to give something to people you care about.” You averted your gaze and lost the battle to twist your fingers into your jacket sleeves. “My family used to give me chocolates every year. So. I thought I could… Well…” you trailed off on a grumble, embarrassed.

Crewel sighed and popped the lid off the box. He plucked two truffles from their casing—keeping one for himself and handing you the other.

“Well, then. A very happy Valentine’s to you, Prefect,” he droned and popped the chocolate into his mouth with a thoughtful hum.

You lit up like a Christmas tree and happily gobbled up your own treat. So distracted were you by the one-two-punch combo of the delicious sugar and even sweeter taste of your Professor’s approval that you almost entirely missed the pointed glare he shot over your shoulder.

“I appreciate your regard,” he said, loud. Sharp. And like he wasn’t talking to you at all. “And while I’m certain that if you do pick a ‘someone’ for yourself to celebrate with in the following years, they’ll have to work very hard to be worthy of such a gift, hmm?” His lip curled unpleasantly, in direct contrast to the indulgent warmth that had been tugging at his expression only a moment before. “I could hardly allow you to waste such a thoughtful gesture on someone unworthy.”

The Octavinelle Housewarden had the decency to look at least a little panicked—his face going pale and gaunt from where he was shrinking into his high collar. There was a frantic look about him, like he was trying to weigh the cost-benefit ratio of going up against his professor in his head, and realizing that he was stupidly, willfully, walking right into a lose-lose situation. And that, sadly—miserably—he was going to keep doing just that. The other two, however, looked entirely undeterred. Schoenheit curled his lip right back at him, more than ready to duke it out here and now, and Crewel fought the urge to remind the blonde that he was the adult in this situation, thank you very much. The adult who could very well revoke the Warden’s access to his Alchemy Labs as it suited him. The very alchemy labs that he knew Vil had been using to concoct all kinds of new, personalized, gifts for you. Draconia simply looked on with that unnervingly ancient, green, leer of his. Like he was staring down a particularly fascinating game. The Fae Prince was the most unsettling of the trio, if only because that while Crewel was more than confident enough in his abilities to subdue his other wayward students, fighting off an Immortal, All Powerful, Dragon was going to require at least a little bit of prep work.

Divus Crewel sighed, and it rattled all the way out from the marrow of his bones.

“Come, then,” he rumbled, directing you to follow him back into his office. “It’s not chocolates, but I probably have some of those ridiculous cookies of yours lying around somewhere.” Which he did. Boxes upon boxes of them. Tucked away special for whenever you came to visit. Not that he’d ever willingly admit that, even under the pain of death.

Your eyes went wide and warm as you positively beamed.

It was rotten work, certainly. He shot one, last, warning glare down the hall at the trio of infatuated interlopers as he firmly shut his office door behind you and your absolute oblivious idiocy. He’d do it. Of course he would. But, Christ alive. He was going to need a stronger drink.

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demon-lover-669 · 1 year

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Y/n being a teacher

Crewel: *coming into y/n class to hit on them* hey I wanted to come see how you’re settling in! do you have any questions? I’d be happy to help

Ace: I HAVE A QUESTION WHY ARE YOU WEARING LATEX JEANS

crewel: no more questions for you!

Ace: did you join a band?

Crewel: go stand by the window and pick out the dumpster you’ll be living in when you flunk out of this class!

#twisted wonderland incorrect quotes #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x female reader #twst x reader #incorrect twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst incorrect quotes #ace twst #divus crewel #professor crewel #twisted wonderland crewel #twst crewel #crewel x reader #ace trappola #twst ace #ace trapolla x yuu

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kanroji-san · 1 month

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Kny! Yuus AU

Crewel being an overprotective father

Obanai!Yuu: Ok, so tell me! When we are allowed to have partners?! *point on themselves and other Yuus*

Crewel: When I'm dead. Plus 3 days. Just to make sure I am dead.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x demon slayer #twisted wonderland x yuu #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x mc #obanai!reader #mitsuri!reader #kyojuro!reader #sanemi!reader #shinobu!reader #muichiro!reader #giyuu!reader #divus crewel #twst crewel #papa crewel #twisted wonderland crewel #professor crewel

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rose-tea-and-strawberries · 1 year

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Some six foot tall third year student: *sees Fem!Yuu/Reader in the corridor* *smiles and waves* Hi mum!

Fem!Yuu/Reader: *waves back* Hi (name)!

Crewel/Trein: What the…

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst yuu #fem yuu #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #divus crewel #twst trein

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oepionie · 1 year

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—"GOTTA ESCAPE THE VOID." overblot mc!

SYNOPSIS: The Ramshackle prefect has a reputation for frequently encountering fatal magical mishaps. And when a magical accident involving Crowley almost kills them, Crewel resolves to take matters into his own hands. But it appears that his impulsive decisions cause the prefect to reach their limit and go off the rails.

⊹ [ cw ] — heavy warnings, please read before you proceed. arguments with father, self-depricating thoughts, mentions of blood, protective parent, thoughts of offing self (only once), overblot mc!, miscommunication w friends, crying, physical fights ◞

⊹ [ tags ] — angst! gender neutral reader, crewel really embodies the 'cruel' in 'cruella', ace gets mad at you :(, deuce tries to comfort you through it all, crowley feels guilt (wow), crewel is vry vry angry and punches crowley, crewel has a mother gothel moment<3◞

⊹ [ w.c ] — 2.5k+◞ | 🦇masterlist◞

YOUR VISION WAS NOTHING, but a myriad of colorful blurs and shapes. Muffled voices spoke to you, but everything was practically just incomprehensible, panicked babbling. The heavy pressure of metal was pressed up against your windpipe, restraining your breath as it wound tighter and tighter. Though, a few seconds later, it vanished as if it had never existed, bursting into bright magical sparks.

The gush and pool of blood surrounds your dirtied, tangled mess of hair, a dark scarlet seeping into the knotted strands. Kneeling before your body, Crowley felt his heart skid to a stop. The sight of your fatigued form writhing around the ground tore at his chest, claws of guilt digging in deep and dragging across thick tissue.

"Prefect…Can you hear me?" The crow murmurs, clawed hands pressing against the side of your pounding head as he guides it to rest atop his lap. Vibrant blooms of red stain the dark fabric of his pants, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Dad…it hurts s'much." You slur in hushed tones, your eyes wringing shut from the pain. That was enough for Crowley to put his arms around you.

He shielded your body with his torso, hands clawing at your back as he wracks his mind of what to do next. Hastily turning round, he shifts his gaze to the surrounding students, all of them looking equally mortified.

"What are you standing around there for?! Call the nurse!"

"Y-Yes, sir!"

Drip. Drip

The pungent smell of alcohol and medication fill your senses as you groggily blink awake.

The familiar creaky wood of Ramshackle's ceiling greets you as you pull yourself from dreamland. Looking over both sides of your bed, you smile once you see both Deuce and Ace seated on a nearby couch. Both of them were quick to jump up and approach you, fussing over your bedridden form.

"Thank Sevens." Deuce murmurs, tenderly combing your damp hair back. You roll your head to the side to face him, but wince at the sudden throb of pain in your spine. Ace darts over and hushes you, gently repositioning your head to face front once more, making sure your neck was supported by a pillow. "Hey…It'd be great if you don't move so much…"

“Right. Makes sense. 'Nways…how bad was my injury?” You mutter, your recollections of the past event still foggy. All you could remember was that Crowley had fired a spell, and you somehow got into the crossfire.

“Fucking horrible.” Ace scoffs, looking at you sternly.

"Yeah, take it easy for a bit. The injury was…pretty serious. It was a miracle that the spell missed your head by a thread…" Deuce murmurs as he presses a gentle hand on your bandaged forehead.

Strands of blueberry hair fall loosely at the sides of his face as he stares down at you with worry. "You were out for three days."

"Ah…well—you know, me and my dumb non-magical ass. Always getting into trouble," you giggle, a cheery grin stretching over your cracked lips. Though it rapidly drops when you realize your two friends aren't laughing with you.

Ace shifts his gaze to the floor, hands clasped into a fist. "You're not dumb, prefect…"

"Well—I kinda am," You snort, tugging the blanket closer to your chilly form. "I really have to stop being around the old man's magic shows."

Unconvinced, Ace only shakes his head and scoffs at your jokes. The ginger reclines back into his chair, hands vigorously tugging and pulling at his hair. "You aren't. The real issue here is that deadbeat crow. I mean...hasn't he learnt anythin' from last time? What kind of idiot treats his child—"

"It wasn't his fault, Ace." Pushing yourself off the bed, you immediately interrupt him, voice stern as you rush to defend Crowley. "He didn't mean it. I got in the path of his magic. And—I'm pretty sure he's already beating himself up over this."

Sinking back into the bed, you clasp both your hands together. "It wasn't his fault. Sure, he's reckless and all but…but he's still my dad."

Silence washes over your room.

Ace was visibly frustrated, the blunt tips of his nails dug deep into his skin, nearly piercing past skin. With a final scoff, he stands from his chair and quietly excuses himself from the room.

The door slams shut with a blaring bang as both you and Deuce were left alone.

Sighing, the freshman takes your trembling hand in his, clasping it tight as his body temperature warms the cool skin. He draws your right arm up to press your palm against his cheek, eyes looking deep into yours.

"Professor Crewel is pissed," Deuce whispers as you trace gentle circles on his skin. A pair of shaky cyan eyes meets your concerned ones. "He was planning to—"

Deuce's mouth parted open and close and yet he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. You cast a questioning glance his way, but Deuce shakes his head, disregarding your questions.

"…nothing."

Surprise washes over you as you stare down at Deuce's hunched over form. It…wasn't like your friends to be so dismissive.

You, Ace, and Deuce had always been good friends. Sure you had your differences but you always communicated openly with one another. Nobody has ever been this...secretive.

Just…what was happening?

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

The sickening crack of a bone echoes through the faculty room as the rough knuckle of Crewel's fist connects with Crowley's face. The headmaster reels, mask flying off as his hands fly to his bloodied nose.

Everyone in the vicinity quieted as the only noise heard was the potionology professor's labored breathing.

Then, without hesitation, Crewel surges forward. Loud commotion and screaming could be heard in the meeting room as everyone quickly circles around the two. A couple of hands seize Crewel by the arms, but the professor only grows more agitated, attempting to fight past the herd.

"Let me go!" Crewel roars, tugging his arm free as he attempts to swing a fist at the headmaster. "Dire! This is your fucking fault!"

"Divus! Calm yourself!" Trein scolds, arms locked tight around the man's torso. A few more pairs of hands restrain the professor as he is forcibly pushed down onto a couch.

His face was the epitome of unrepressed rage: With his cheeks drawn back in a deep sneer, eyes bloodshot red, and hair a knotted mess.

Trein stands before the younger man, looking down at him with disgust. "Have you no shame? What will the prefect think once they hear of this?"

Across the room, Crowley spits out a little blood, blinking fresh tears out of his eyes. For the last three days, the crow has been suppressing all of its emotions; however, all of a sudden, he is overcome with an unfettered and unhindered flood of shame and rage.

When the headmaster finally turned around, he fixed Crewel with an expression so scathing that the potionology professor felt compelled to charge at him again.

Once, coldly, sharply, and bitterly, Crowley laughed. "It's my fault, you say? You think I don't know that?"

"Oh please—Dire. I couldn't care less about what you think." Crewel seethes, venom practically dripping from his lips. The alchemy professor strides forward, heels clicking against the floor as he grabs Crowley by the collar.

"You're a failure of a father. All you've ever brought their way is danger." The professor cackles kicking the crow's skin.

Digging deep into his red handbag, Crewel snatches out papers and jams it into Crowley's chest. The crow unravels the creased pages to read the text on the document, eyes ripping wide open as he realizes what it was.

"You…can't possibly." The headmaster sputters, hands shaking as he reads the texts again and again.

"Oh, but I can." Crewel sneers, taking pleasure in the look of fear Crowley sends his way. He snaps around, coat billowing up behind him as he briskly walks towards the entryway. "I expect those papers to be signed by tonight."

Before walking out of the room, Crewel spares the headmaster one final glance. "The prefect departs this Monday."

Days after the event were all followed by violent storms that appeared to go on forever. Every night and day, the rain endlessly poured down from the bitter grey skies and roars of thunder echoed through the dewy clouds. Some days, it was nearly impossible to go to school.

It was almost as though Mother Nature herself was upset.

Just like how everyone was.

Crowley and your other friends shunned you like you had the plague. Even bright Kalim greeted you with a deep frown, a flimsy excuse slipping off his lips as he ran away. Only Deuce stayed by your side through it all.

The blueberry had told you everything was alright—that everything was normal and fine— but you couldn't help but be skeptical.

So when Crewel came to visit, you welcomed him right in. Eager to hear what he has to say.

The clatter and click of your father's heeled boots echoed through the walls of the dormitory as he examined the premises, comparing it to his own much more lavish flat back home in the city.

Finally, after an excruciating 5 minutes. his gaze flitted over to your bedridden form.

And the words he utters out next shatter your entire being.

"I'm withdrawing you from NRC."

What.

The glass clasped in your bandaged hands slips from your grip, smashing onto the oak wood of Ramshackle's flooring. You raise your mortified gaze to scowl at your professor, jaw dropped open in shock.

"What?" you breathlessly utter. "What do you mean?!"

"I'm transferring you to another school." Crewel replies, pushing himself off the fireplace and slipping his thick fur coat off his shoulders. The scant light emitted by the candles atop your study table did nothing to help you navigate his form as he strode around your bedroom.

"Now. You might be asking why? For one, look at the…accommodations Dire provided you with."

Crewel kicks a piece of splintered bark aside while making a gesture towards the disorder and wreckage all around you.

In the evenings, you had to use candles because the ceiling lights seldom ever functioned. The flooring had so many tears and holes that they were virtually falling apart. On occasion, you could even see the scuffle of rats beneath. The roof leaked, horribly; You had no money to fix it so you placed a bucket below instead. The front door was broken, barely hanging on its hinges, evidence of all the times your friends visited and never bothered to knock.

All of these problems and so many more were present, but this dorm was with you since the very start. It provided you with a roof over your head…it helped you survive.

"So what?" You retort, leaning back into your bed and sinking deep into the scratchy yet familiar pillows. "I don't mind it!"

"A foolish decision." Crewel sneers, running a hand into his hair. "Your accommodations aren't the only problem. Your self-destructive habits endanger you as well!"

There it was.

Groaning, you wring your hands through your hair, tangling it up. "When are you gonna stop saying that I'm self-destructive!?"

"When you start acting like somebody that actually cares about their life!" Crewel barks out, hands grasping your shoulders. The sudden increase in volume makes you recoil, but you were stubborn and refused to give in just yet.

"But I do care about my life!" You sputter out. "Why can't you just—"

"Remember what happened when Rosehearts overblotted?" He reminds you, "You charged towards a bloodthirsty tyrant with no protection, no magic, and no plan." Crewel then crosses his arms over his chest, addressing you with a pointed glare. "And you have the nerve to tell me you're not self destructive?"

"Riddle is not a tyrant!" Crying out, you slam your hand against your bedsheets, face twisting into an unsightly sneer. "I was trying to save my friend!"

Crewel gets right in your face, returning the expression of anger you sent his way. "Those friends of yours only care about you when you're useful!" he thundered, jabbing a finger into your chest.

That comment immediately silenced you.

Your hand was clasped over your mouth, jaw dropped wide open in disbelief as a sharp gasp escapes your dry throat.

A poisonous and dangerously harmful feeling gripped at whatever remnant the professor had of a heart. It colored his thoughts with regret as he began to feel a twinge of guilt, the weight of words sinking in.

There was a deep sigh of resignation from Crewel before he put a hand on your shoulder and looked you deep in the eyes, voice lowering to a softer lilt. "Why is it that every other person in that dorm had the sense to run away from the blots, but you didn't?"

Kneeling down, your father gazed at you with such vulnerability in his eyes as he murmurs, "Do you know how terrified I was every time I'd get the same message from Dire that you were out fighting overblots again? Putting your life at risk for those rabid dogs?"

The recognition of your destructive habits hit you like a splash of ice cold water. With a guilty and uncomfortable grimace on your face, you averted your attention to the floor. "I just wanted to help."

Slowly rising to his feet again, Crewel casts a deep frown your way. "I know you do, but you're careless with your life and if you're not careful…one of these days, you're gonna die."

"I will not hear anymore disagreements about this, do you hear? I've allowed you to run rampant around these past few months. You will so as I say and I'll have you transferred by the end of this week." He says simply, dropping a pristine sheet of paper clasped in a clipboard before you. Your dull eyes flicker across the title as you grudgingly reach for the pen he offers you.

TRANSFER APPLICATION.

That blank line at the end of the page is swiftly covered by your shaky red signature and Crewel is powerless to stop the relieved sigh that heaves past his lips.

A surge of victory, certainty, and an intense sense of relief overpowers the tangled and conflicting sentiments of guilt that were swimming through his chest.

You were safe, that's all that matters.

With a grieving heart, you nudge the pen and page back to your father dismissively, placing them both atop the bed. Crewel re-rolled the page and tucked it back into his handbag along with the pen.

The professor raises a hand to gently pat your shoulders as he bends down, pressing a kiss atop your head. "Father knows best."

As Crewel quietly takes his leave, he is none the wiser to the formation of impure, tainted tar-like blot dripping from your tears. Curling in yourself, you tuck your head into your knees, a broken sob spilling from your lips.

A sick and twisted feeling arises in your heart as you replay the argument you had with Crewel, and you start to wish that maybe, just maybe, Crowley's spell had succeeded in striking you.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

"Oi…Henchhuman?"

Drip.

—TAGLIST:

꒰ ♡🧷: if you want to be tagged for ALL of my works, comment here!

@keedas @spadecentral @crypticbibliophile @pastellepastary @cassidycampfire @cocomollo @poisonioushearts @kawaiipotatoghost@ramvuda @sweeneyblue1 @the-lost-anime-dad @kyraxiyn @mayaaaeo @fluffimemes @awkwardspontaneity @gussuri @lunavixia @heatofmyexoheart @pianopuppygirl @cross-crye @cerisescherries @teenage-discomfort @cecilebutcher @savanaclaw1996 @msykaroly @a-bit-late @imdevotedtoyou @syl-lithy @solomonslostsock @noidonothavetimeforthis @driftaway27 @supernovaicloud @yevenle @senpaiofotomeome

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twst x you #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #reader insert #y/n #disney twst #divus crewel #twst divus crewel #twisted wonderland divus #twst crewel #twisted wonderland crewel #overblot yuu #overblot mc #yuu overblot

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bluesylveon2 · 6 months

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Crewel talking about his adopted daughter to Trein

Crewel: who's that wonderful girl? Could she be any cuter?

An NRC guy, who clearly has an interest in Yuu, walks up to Yuu

Crewel: oh look! Here comes a suitor-WAIT A MINUTE! GET AWAY FROM MY PUP! Proceeds to chase the guy with his pointer stick

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twst incorrect quotes #incorrect twst #twst yuu #twst mc #twst crewel #divus crewel #papa crewel #twst x reader

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nightshade-writes-stories · 9 days

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Twisted wonderland incorrect Quotes #31

Floyd: *T-posing on a counter in octanvale* HI AZUL

Azul: *not looking up from his book* Good morning problem child

Crewel: I hope you realise this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in my class

Mc: Well is there any other type of idiocy you’d like more

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fungifanart · 17 days

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Crewel, trying to convince Yuu not to date any of the boys at NRC: *Singing* Those boys are EVIL!!! They're making me feel like I'm taking Coach Vargas's test! And I don't feel too good! Those boys are Evil! Everybody!

Choir class: E.V.I.L. B.O.Y.S.!

Yuu: Why would you make this an assignment?

Boy of your choice: *actually hearing the lyrics* HEY, WAIT A SECOND--

#why is this mushroom spouting nonsense?#twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twst yuu #twst mc #divus crewel #twst crewel #Me? Reuse jokes? NEVER.

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luxthestrange · 8 months

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TWST Incorrect quotes#602 He Vanilla-

Adult!Yuu*Spooning Crewel, kissing his forehead as his face is smooshed unto your chest*Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?~

Crewel*Sighs and hisses, nuzzling deeper into your chest*FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THATS HOLY, I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.ITS 2AM

Mc*Pouts and clicks tongue*Mean...

-On McDonald's-

Adult!Yuu*Smilling at the cashier*Two happy meals A vanilla milkshake and black coffee, please

Crewel*Clinging to your back like a koala, humming happily you got him the vanilla milkshake*...

...For those Yuu who love black coffee and yes he likes vanilla milkshakes in my head-

#disney twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x yuu #twst yuu #twst crewel #divus crewel #divus crewel x reader #crewel divus x reader #crewel x reader #crewel x yuu #twst fluff #twst incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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hxjikonn · 1 year

Note

Congratulations for your milestone!!!!

Can i perhaps request twst platonic comfort long fic with the staff with Lilia separately perhaps saying like “i’m proud of you” and pat reader’s head please? Reader gender is GN and preferably uses with ‘you’ instead of pronouns please if its possible—

of course no pressure for this request— i just need a comfort becus daddy issues lmao but sam is more like big brother vibes

A/N: Thank you anon! I’m gonna cry this is actually so frikkin cute 🥹, I’ll do my best take on this one and I hope you like it. I do have a limit of 3-4 caharcters only so I’ll do Lilia, Crowley, Trein and Crewel ♥︎ also p.s sorry this took so long 😭🤚🏻

——————————————————————————

Peer Pressure

☆Staring☆: Lilia Vanrouge, Dire Crowley, Mozus Trein, and Divus Crewel.

Synopsis: Twst Dads Staff and Lilia, being the father figure you never had. Yes! I’m talking to boys, girls, gays and non-binary baes who has daddy issues 🥹

Heads up/Warnings: Mentions of Stress, Lil small smidge of angst, VERY LONG AND NOT PROOFREAD Platonic! rs with reader.

——————————————————————————

Lilia Vanrouge

Studying in NRC was no cake walk, that’s a given fact, and more so when you’re a magicless nomad from who knows where, as much as you’d love to just blend in with the crowd and not be noticed, you stuck out like a sore thumb.

You were treated as a weak poor unfortunate soul who fate has thrown to the wolf den to be eaten alive without a fight, You didn’t like how they perceived you, you didn’t like how you were treated as a push over who couldn’t stand a chance in this school. So you made yourself keep with everyone else despite not having a speck of magic in you.

You really are doing everything you can to be treated as an equal by everyone, but even when you’re giving it your all, it’s never enough for them to respect you, no matter how many overblots you face and how many dorm leaders and students you help, you will always amount to nothing in their eyes.

Still you tried, tried to keep your chin up, but you’re only human, and you can only take so much. You were sat in the deepest part of the school library, the ancient history section, where dust had collected on the bookshelves having been left unnoticed for so long, not a single beam of light could peek through the thick books that rested on the high shelves. No one bothered to go here, It was silent, this became the place you’d go to when you feel that you’re about to break.

Slowly, the dark and tiny enclosed space was filled with your quiet sobs and sniffles, shaky breaths and gasps were heard coming from your tiny curled up figure in the corner…you couldn’t handle it anymore, it was heavy, it hurts, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone because you felt like it’d fuel the idea of you being weak and in need of help…

Unbeknownst to you, someone other than yourself lurked in that corner of the library, and that someone had heard your soft weeping, slowly and carefully he approached your tiny figure, you were sobbing on your knees desperately trying to hold yourself together, you were too caught up on keeping quiet that you hadn’t notice Lilia sitting beside you.

“You know…it’s normal for children to cry right?” He said, loudly enough for you to hear but quietly too since he didn’t want to freak you out. You slowly met his gaze, with swollen eyes glistening with tears, you sniffled and wiped your cheek with your sleeve “I’m not a child….” You retorted, voice hoarse and weak.

“Oh but your not an adult either?” He said ruffling your hair, you didn’t like this, it felt like he also saw you like everyone else in this school, puny. You brushed off his hand, you sighed…upset, you buried your head back in your knees “I really don’t feel well right now Lilia-senpai…I wanna be left alone” You mumbled, not another word was uttered after you said that, you thought he left, so you resumed to your pitiful state of feeling sorry for yourself.

It wasn’t until you felt soft pats on your head that you settled down a bit, “When Silver wasn’t feeling well when he was little, I’d always stay by his side until he’s better…children can’t be left alone when they dont feel well, or else they wont get better” he softly spoke to you, you could only answer with sniffles and hiccups.

“M’not a child…” you answered, still hiccuping trying to catch your breath from crying to much, “If you’d known how old I am, you’d probably see yourself as a fetus…” he joked, “I’ll never be equal to you guys will I?? I’ll always be the weakest one here…no matter what I do” you voiced out, you didn’t even know if you were shaking from anger or sadness…

Lilia felt it though, your emotions, he sighed and draped his school overcoat on your shaking frame, and continued to place soft pats on your head to calm you down again, “That was quiet offensive, you don’t even know how I think of you and yet you assume that…” he scolded, “You call me a child…” you snapped back at him

“That’s because you are one and yet you act like you should be the one running NRC, I need you to understand that I’m not calling you a child because I see you as a feeble human being, I call you that to remind you that you’re still young…it’s too early for you be stressed out, that’s a middle age man’s job” He scolded you holding both your face with in his hands, wiping your tears with his thumbs.

“You’ve already done so much…I’m proud of you for keeping up with everyone in NRC despite you not possessing magic, it’s amazing, even Malleus thinks so…” he added, you felt yourself calm down, more so when he pulled you into a hug, you felt safe.

“Now rest, we cant have you exiting the library with puffy eyes, people would think they were stung by bees!” He jested, chuckling at himself. “I’ll wake you up when I feel that you’ve had enough sleep…” he patted your head and hummed a tune, tired from crying, you eventually gave in and let his hums woo you to sleep.

Dire Crowley

Once again, you were called to Crowley’s office, not because you caused trouble no, you barely had the time in your day to do that. It was because somehow he probably has yet another taxing job to give you, that or he’s gonna scold you for something, what is it? Who knows? Sometimes it’s the most random things.

You knocked and waited waited for him to say you could come in…when he did, you walked in groggily, and shut the door behind you with your foot, you didn’t bother with politeness and courtesies, you were too exhausted for that, plus you knew he probably got used you’re attitude by now as you were used to his.

“What nowwwww???” You groaned, flopping on the chair infront of him. “Would it kill you to have some manners prefect?” He scolded, “Cut me some slack I’m tireeedddd” you whined in your hands. “Well I hope you being tired means you’ve done everything I told you to do, and I called you here to ask you if you’ve visited Savanaclaw-“ “to solve their flea infestation problem? Yeah It’s done. Savanaclaw is flea-free.” You cut him off, your voice monotoned and unenthusiastic.

He was surprised, “Well then, I assume you’ve also finished re-planted the flowers of wonderland in the botanical garden.” “YUP” you quickly answered. “What about the concerns of Pomfoire students about their stollen chemicals?” He crossed his arms “It wasn’t stollen, They misplaced it somewhere.” You answered again.

“Mandatory Dormitory maintenance check ups? Have you organized the School calendar events? Did you solve the Octavinelle and Scarabia feud? ” He started throwing the tasks he gave you. “Done. Done. And hmmm let me see…yup all done.” you replied as you picked on your nails. Crowley was shocked you managed to finish everything in a day, at this point he started to doubt you didn’t have magic.

“Have you….uhm….” He tried thinking of a task he hasn’t asked you about, “have you…done your homework?” He had nothing. You looked up at him with a confused look, but still answered “Yeah?” He cleared his throat and readjusts his tie “Hm…Well done then, you did well” he said.

“Can I go now? I haven’t eaten all day and Grim’s probably throwing tantrums because he hasn’t had his tuna sandwich…” you asked, he only nodded. Still kind of shock that you did every task he sent you to do. “Uh…’kay, bye I guess…” you stood up to leave, weirded out by the headmage’s sudden silence.

He only came back to his senses when he heard the door shut, and realized you’d left…you left to go home and eat cuz you haven’t eaten all day, yeah…wait… “HAVEN’T EATEN??!! ALL DAY??!” He shouted, shooting up from his chair to go chase you. His automatic Papa bird mode was up and running…literally. You thought you were safe from a scolding session, well you were wrong.

“PREFECT! Y/N! STOP RIGHT THERE!” He commanded, far across the other end of the hallway. You stopped, hearing his voice, you sighed and turned your back to see him speed walking his way over to you. “Here we go…” you said to yourself, preparing for the scolding, you didn’t know what it was about but you were preparing still.

Before you knew it he was standing infront of you, hands on his hips like a disappointed mother. “What did I miss this time?” You asked, “Apparently Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner” he answered. You blinked a couple of times, confused and dumbfounded. “Huh?” Was all that came put of your mouth.

“I can’t believe you! How could you not eat for a whole day?! Are you mad?! Have you gone koo-koo over the tasks I gave you?! You could get sick!” He scolded, you thought he was joking, so you laughed “Oh I get it…Don’t worry I won’t die, you won’t lose your errand runner” you joked. Wrong move.

The expression on his face was something you hadn’t seen before, usually you’re not at all fazed by Crowley, however this time you felt your stomach drop, but not to fear, it was something else. “Errand Runner….? Is that why you forgot to eat?…Is that how I make you feel…?” He spoke, uncharacteristically sad…

“Uh n-no, I was…I was just joking…” you denied smiling up at him, though you did feel like an errand runner most of the time, it was clear that Crowley didn’t know you felt that way. Silence was all that was heard between you two. Crowley was only looking at you, “Uhm…I should…go” you spoke, breaking the noiseless awkward situation.

You bowed and turned to your heel and left. For the rest of the night, all that filled Crowley’s mind was worry…You went to school the next morning, the happenings from yesterday was now long gone and done for you, it was weird and awkward sure, but you didn’t think it was that deep.

However it wasn’t for Crowley. As you were listening to Trein’s lecture, Crowley decided to pop in your class. “Is Y/n present?” He asked, poking his head through the door, “Y/n, The headmage is looking for you.” Trein spoke, unbothered, still writing on the board.

You looked up from your notebook to see Crowley by the door, this was unusual, since he only called for you when you dong have class. But you thought it must’ve been urgent. So you stood up and went to him. “Something wrong?” You asked, he smiled and shook his head, “Oh no, I just came by to give you this.” He handed you a lunch box, you looked up at him confused “wha-“ you were cut off with a headpat “Go back to your seat now, make sure to finish all that food, after class though, dont eat in class.” He said pushing you back so you’d go to your seat. “Sharing is good but Dont share that. You eat it.” He warned before waving you goodbye as he closes the door and leaves.

You were now left with a lunch box in your hand, you looked down and there was a sticky note on top of it that read “Do your best in class! I’m proud of you!” With a crow doodle on the bottom…you smiled at the note and went back to your seat. Guess you wont be missing meals anymore.

Mozus Trein

Exam week. Probably the worst week in a student’s entire school year. Most even called it Hell week due to how dreadful and stressful it is. What’s worse is that you’ve been transported in a school that is in a world where you knew absolutely nothing about.

So everything you’ve learned from your homeworld, is USELESS here. Especially history. Back in home exams about history usually only contained questions about previous presidents, wars, kingdoms, ruler, and dates but here their history included magic. Which you don’t have and have Zero to No knowledge of.

You’ve concluded in your mind that you’d probably be butchered and served for lunch after you take this test because there’s no way you’re going to pass it. But what’s the harm in trying? Right? You spent hours and hours after every test everyday before the history exam in the library. Under a piles and stacks of books about twisted wonderland’s history. You felt yourself get lightheaded a couple of times but you shook it off.

Then came doomsday. You were sat in your usual seat, sweating bullets, leg bouncing from anxiety, the test wasn’t even handed out yet but your lips were practically chewing gum at this point since you’ve been gnawing on them for the past 5 minutes.

When the test was handed out, you tried your best not to accidentally have a mental shut down and forget everything you’ve studied for. You were already nervous from the questions, more so when Trein started walking around and observing everyone as they take their test.

Out of everyone, you had to admit, Mozus Trein, was the most intimidating teacher you had. Failing his class was an equivalent to a coffin and funeral party. So you tried your best to keep calm and focus on the questions. You didn’t rush it like some of the others, it didn’t matter if you were the last one in his class as long as your confident you’d pass.

You skimmed through every question time after time making sure you had the best answer. “Y/n. I said Time’s up. Hand in your paper or I won’t accept it.” Trein’s voice broke your trance, and there it was again, the anxiety, you weren’t done, you weren’t confident that you’d get a passing grade yet. But him staring you down made you hand give up the paper faster than lightning.

“Sorry, sir.” You meekly spoke. He took your paper and shortly after he dismissed the class. You couldn’t even sleep that night, and the night after, and the next night after that. It was that big of a deal. Came the end of Hell week Exam week it was time for the teachers to hand back the now graded test papers.

And lucky you, Your first class of the day was Trein’s. You went in with bags under your eyes from all the sleepless nights and the countless hours studying in the library. You hoped for the worst, that way you wont be disappointed when it does happen. Once the classroom was filled, Trein greeted you all like usual, “I’m sure everyone is well aware of what day it is, and I’m neither disappointed nor surprised by the result of last week’s exam, as I expected this already. Needles to say I’ll be seeing MOST of you again in the same class next year.” He stated, mercilessly, It was like venom. He went around the class handing the test papers one by one.

You gulped hearing what he just said as you waited for him to hand you yours, part of you told yourself you’re one of those people. What’s worse is that, he only placed the other students their paper on their table and left, so why is he HANDING you yours???You gulped as you took the paper from his hand, the test paper was faced down. Still standing there even though you had already took it. You thought of your funeral party already.

You flipped the paper with shaky hands…you couldn’t believe your eyes…it was a perfect score…you looked up at your teacher in shock “I think you mixed up my paper with someone else’s sir…” you said, only earning a small laugh from him. He placed his index finger on top of your test paper “that is your name? Is it not?” He asked, it infact YOUR NAME.

You left your jaw hung open as you stared at the paper infornt of you, your shocked state was broken when he pated your head “Very good Y/n, Surprisingly the one who isn’t from twisted wonderland is the one who scored the highest in my class, I’m very proud of you for that. Keep it up” he praised as he walks back to his desk.

You felt yourself smiling happily. You passed. YOU SCORED HIGHEST. You looked up at Trein who was now infront of the class writing in the board about the next lecture he was about to discuss and you hurriedly took out your notebook to write down notes. Soon the class you oh so feared to fail now became your favorite class to attend.

Divus Crewel

You had no magic, no knowledge of it, and you don’t even know how to use it. Magic was already a hassle to learn, and you already progressed slower than most of the students in your class. Not in potionology though. This was wayyy easier to catch up with.

You see potionology class like what you used to do as a child, when you’d mix shampoos and soaps and tooth paste and pretend to be a witch in the bathroom. You liked this class since it was fun and you didn’t struggle that much with it. You cant say you’re that best student, that would be exaggeration. But you were one of the students who does better than everyone else.

Up coming this week was pop quiz Friday, usual pop quizzes included answering a sheet of paper, however in potionology, Crewel thought it’d be nice to put the pop in “pop quiz” to good use. The task was that you’d try to perfect a potion that pops when you threw it, the bigger the “pop” your potion made, the higher your score would be.

So ahead of time, you started doing research and tests on your potion, you sometimes went to Pomefoire or Heartslabyul to ask Rook or Trey for advice since they’re both in the school Science Club. You’d go to the library to borrow books about explosives, you’d go shopping for a concerning amount of flammable chemicals and other stuff in Sam’s shop. To the point where Sam actually made a promise to himself to call Crowley if you came back again.

After all that you’d go back to Ramshackle to test more stuff out. It took a lot of sleepless nights and failed attempts, you didn’t give up though, plus you and grim (and sometimes even Malleus) were having fun in the back yard of Ramshackle blowing stuff up. If you had neighbors they probably would’ve moved out by now

One day you finally had one you were confident had a passing grade. Probably not the best one out there but one that can get you a high score.You wrote down the recipe so you could remake it in the lab when Friday came, you’re more than excited to see this experiment of your blow their minds, not literally but kinda literally.

Then came Friday, the day you’ve been waiting for. You were nervous, happy and the anticipation was killing you. When greetings were exchanged the “pop quiz” began. Everyone was focused on their own potions, and so were you. Holding in your hand was the recipe and your other was carefully dripping and dropping chemicals on to beakers and test tubesz

You didn’t want the whole room to blow up…yet. As you hear some students groan out of frustration or sigh in relief, you grew more and more competitive. When the timer rang, you were already finished, everyone had their bottles clutched in their hands in fear of them accidentally dropping it and causing mass destruction.

“Alright pups, line up, we cant risk causing accidental arson, we’re going out on the field to test your potions.” Crewel said to the class, one by one your classmates start to line up. Careful not to trip as the walked. When you were all outside, and in a safe distance from the school building, Crewel had you all stand behind a magic barrier so no one would get hurt.

One by one students started to throw their potions, explosion after explosion, some disappointingly small and some scarily big. You were thrilled, you couldn’t wait for your turn. When your name got called you confidently strode infront to throw your potion. As you were about to Crewel lightly smacked your head with his teaching pointer. “Goggles Y/n, your goggles.” He warned. You muttered a tiny ‘oops’ and put on your goggles.

“Alright, on my count…” Crewel said, as he counted down to 3, when you heard three you threw it hard as you could and….nothing. You were shocked…embarrassed as you heard the chuckles and laughs from behind you. You were positive you tested this before and it worked, you must’ve done something wrong. How could you fail the one class you actually enjoyed.

Your cheeks grew hot when you heard small teasings from your classmates, Crewel reprimanded them but you knew even he was embarrassed and disappointed by this miserable failed attempt. You had failed him. As you were all about to walk back to the lab, small sparking noises were heard from where you had thrown the potion.

You all looked back and so did Crewel, he put up the magic barrier once again, the small sparks turned into big once, then…unexpectedly, the big sparks exploded scattering itself throughout the field…then there was silence. Not like the last time though, the silence this time was more like the calm before a storm. Crewel knew this, so he had the magic barrier expanded to cover all around you guys.

Suddenly explosions emerged, not just one, but multiple, more than you could count, it was loud and destructive and chaotic, everyone was panicking. When it finally stopped, the school grounds looked like a battle field. You thought this meant detention until you graduate, but then you heard Crewel laugh and clap his hands.

He went to you and ruffled you hair “GREAT JOB Y/N! THAT WAS OUTSTANDING!” He praised as he clasps his hands together. The other students…well most of them at least also had clapped their hands and applauded your work. No words was said but it seemed that Crewel had already adopted and favored a pup in his class after that day.

——————————————————————————

A/N: I’M BAAAACKKKK WRITERS BLOCK IS GONEEEE I’M GONNA START POSTING AGAIN AAAAAA SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT SO LONG 🥹🥹🥹🥹

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x mc #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x yuu #divus crewel #divus crewel x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia vanrouge #dire crowley #dire crowley x reader #mozus trein #mozus trein x reader #twst staff #twst dads

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blackopals-world · 21 days

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Vet!Yuu: Sorry professor, but we are staging an intervention.

Nurse!Yuu: You can't date our aunt.

Marine Biologist!Yuu: It's for the best.

Crewel: Come on pups, we are both adults. What's wrong with that?

Nurse!Yuu: She will eat you alive.

Crewel: I hope so.

Marine Biologist!Yuu: She drinks.

Crewel: And I smoke.

Vet!Yuu: We think she killed her last husband.

Crewel: I can fix her.

MarineBiologist!Yuu: He's too far gone.

Vet!Yuu: Twitterpated.

Nurse!Yuu: It was nice knowing him.

Therapist!Yuu:(walking in) Oh, what are you doing here kittens?

The triplets: (smiling and acting innocent) Nothing Auntie~

Therapist!Yuu: Divis honeypie, I hope they aren't bothering you. They are angels but they tend to be little gossips. So how about we take the tin can for a joyride, I just slapped a new coat of paint on it.

Crewel: I'll be there.

Therapist!Yuu: Oh, and kittens. Don't go being chatterboxes unless you want to find out what really happened to your uncle Earl.

(No one liked him anyways)

#therapist!yuu #nurse!yuu #marine biologist!yuu #vet!yuu #yuuniverse #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst crewel #twst divus #divus crewel x reader #twisted wonderland divus #divus crewel

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rs-wonderland · 1 year

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Crowley: You know why Yuu is still here and not on earth?

Crewel: Why? Bc your lazy to find there way home?

Crowley: No! It's bc they are orphan!

Crewel: What-?

Crowley: Orphans are never wanted!

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x y/n #twisted wonderland x yuu #twst wonderland #twst #twst x yuu #twst x you #twst x reader #twst x mc #twst x y/n #twst crowley #twst crewel #divus crewel #twisted wonderland crewel #professor crewel #crewel x reader #crowley

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mkkk12345 · 1 month

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Divus Crewel x Wife Reader How they met

Sorry this took so long to write, I was once again procrastinating lol Feel free to request situations (I write slowly and I’ll be pretty busy for the next while sadly, but please do request if you would like to! I'll do anyone in twst for the most part with your usual restrictions) (side note I got the names for the dogs from the 101 Dalmatians)

1.2K words

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Oh how Crewel would come to regret what he had done that day, he really should have seen it coming. “Hey! Professor Crewel, tell us how you met your wife!”

This had all started when Crowley had approached him with a challenge. “If you manage to raise the class average of the first years to let's say~ 80 percent? I'll give you a raise! Am I not so incredibly generous? Hahahhahaaaa” He cawed to himself as Crewel walked away absolutely done with the crow mans shenanigans

Rolling his eyes he responds “I guess there is no harm in attempting it”

As an encouragement to study harder he had told his students that if they were able to raise the class average to 80 percent by the next semester he would allow them to ask one question about his personal life. Of course all of the students had jumped at the chance to glance into the oh so mysterious and strict teachers personal life.

And that is why we are here now.

Professor Divus Crewel, now being forced to tell the oh so embarrassing story of how he had met his lovely wife.

“Well it's not the worst question you lot could have asked. I would rather not share this story but if I must I will do so…”

—----

Divus was around 17 when he first met Y/N It was a bright and sunny day, the weather was perfect and it just so happened to be a long weekend, a rare opportunity to visit home in the Queendom of Roses.

It was also a perfect day to take his beloved pet dalmatian Perdita for a nice long walk in the nearby park for some long deserved bonding time.

When Crewel was home from NRC he would often take Perdita to the park. Whether it was actual exercise or for some relaxing time outside to sketch new fashion designs, Perdita never really minded. But today was different, the minute the pair stepped out of the door the spotted dog went bolting in the direction of the park. “Hey! Slow down girl, why on earth are you in such a rush today?!” he said, trying to keep all his sketching supplies from falling to the ground.

Luckily for young Divus, the dalmatian did eventually slow down once they reached the park. “You act as if no one has been bringing you to the park since I left for school.” he said exasperated from the impromptu run.

Soon after catching his breath Divus and his companion walked over to a nearby bench so the boy could start sketching, but right as he put his sketching equipment down there was another sudden tug on the lead and once again they were off “hey! Slow down! What has gotten into you toda-” CRASH he had been cut off suddenly, crashing into another person as Perdita and what seemed to be another dalmatian were running circles around the two very effectively tying the two together.

When he finally pried his eyes away from the dogs he finally realized the full situation he was in, tied up with a very beautiful young lady. “Oh my god I'm so sorry he doesn't usually act like this, Pongo would you stop that already?”

“Don't worry it was neither of our faults really, I guess these two have taken quite the interest in one another” he said as he pulled his arm out of the leashes to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck a blush forming on his face as he looked at a very interesting tree behind her.

“They've actually been like this for weeks!” she laughed as she finally met his eyes, “Oh you must be Divus! Your mother talks about you very often.” He was surprised, not only was this girl absolutely stunning but she already knew him. Although he would never admit it, he practically fell in love with her right then and there, the way she beamed with joy, the slight blush on her cheeks, her laugh even in the strangest of situations.

In an attempt to calm himself he averted his gaze again and began to untie him and his new developing crush from the entanglement of leashes they were trapped in “Oh you must have met mother while she was walking Perdita I do hope she didn't tell you anything embarrassing” a strained smirk appeared on his face, knowing how his mother liked to tell the most embarrassing stories of his childhood.

“Well I cant say she didn't say anything” she laughed softly again drawing Divus’s attention for a moment the blush on his face growing ever brighter.

Snapping out of his short trance he asked “Might I ask for your name then since you already know mine?” With blush remaining on the tips of ears he held out his hand like a gentleman, both with the intention to give her, her dogs leash back but also to lead her over to a bench so they could hopefully continue their conversation.

“Oh my apologies how rude of me, My name is Y/N nice to finally meet you.” She bashfully took both the leash and his hand, walking over to the bench.

“The pleasure is mine”

—-

“And whilst that was all happening I looked over to our dogs, only to find them looking at each other with what seemed to be a grin on their faces like they planned that all out.” Crewel sighed as he recalled how proud those little devils looked. “After quite a long conversation that ended up in me never actually starting a new sketch, we traded contact information and left the park.” he looked up at his students now regretting all his life decisions.

“And that is how I met my wife, now it seems like class is over, please leave quickly so I can question why I ever became a teacher in the first place.”

“But prof how did you ask her out?” “Yeah yeah! Who was the first one to confess!” “How did you propose????”

Frustrated crewel quickly answered “If I recall correctly you were all only given the privilege of asking one question, now if you don't stop pestering me I will be giving you even more homework.” a completely very unnoticable blush began to form on his face.

“Sorry sir!” Everyone shouted in unison, but on their way out the students did not miss the slightest hint of red that dusted their professor's cheeks as he pretended to sort through papers.

Once everyone had left and silence had fallen through the classroom a laughter could be heard coming from the Professors phone. “Awwwww darling, you retell that story so fondly~” Crewel sighed as he finally looked over at his phone

“I honestly can not believe I let you talk me into letting you listen to that.” he said with a hand firmly planted on his face covering any sign of pink that appeared.

“Consider it as repaying me for when I dropped those papers off for you. Now hurry home our two rascals of dogs are looking at me like I should thank them for getting us together.” she laughed nervously

“Yes yes honey see you soon” ending the call with a small smirk as he muttered “I should buy some more dog treats on the way back.”

#twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #crewel x reader #divus crewel #divus crewel x reader #divus crewel x yuu #twisted wonderland headcanons

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