#a bit cliche but did you meant that a sacrifice had to be made in order to defeat salem or

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 21: Finishing Station Eleven

So I’ve finally finished Station Eleven. I had to take a few days to gear up to read the last 16 pages because I knew they’d be about Arthur and include his death and I just...couldn’t do it. And I absolutely did cry like a sucker for the last 4-5 straight pages.

I really loved this book, a lot more than I was expecting to, and I feel like it’ll take another read or two to excavate my next layer of thoughts on it. I think I will probably acquire myself a copy. I really vibed with the themes of memory and human connection in extreme circumstances, and I really loved the characters. My favorites were definitely, and unsurprisingly Arthur, Miranda, and August.

This post is going to be a bit about what I didn’t like or found frustrating though.

Specifically, I have very mixed feelings about the whole Prophet story line. First, I knew it was Tyler from the moment he was first described. There was too much detail about him, and the details we got--blond hair, Kirsten’s age--could really only pin him as one character. So if there was any mystery or any Big Twist Reveal intended in his identity, that definitely didn’t land for me. Like, I’m proud of myself for figuring him out so fast, but I do wonder a little bit if the story would have been stronger if it were really a mystery for me.

Second, I thought the Prophet story was comparatively cliche for a book that was in so many other ways so creative. (You could say Actor Arthur was also cliche but he subverted the cliches just enough, and also I love him your honor.) The Prophet made some gestures to interesting twists, like the airplane symbolism, and the intense sneakiness of his people that allowed for the ‘mystery’ of the missing Symphony, but overall he was just... the kind of creepy cult leader you’d expect to come out of a plague. The people who survived were chosen, you’re either chosen or damned, there will be more damned, I know which is which, give me power. Etc. I have heard this before.

I mean.. okay, I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I think it’s fine to use cliches because they do exist for a reason. And as someone who hates “everything happens for a reason” I appreciated seeing that twisted into something so sinister, selfish, and creepy. I think the use of the airplane symbols and airport back story were clever twists or wrinkles in the well-worn Post-Apoc Cult Trope. Even some of my criticisms are kind of half-hearted because I wonder if I’m expecting things to be too spoon-fed. Maybe everything I’m about to complain about is on purpose, and if I read through the lines a little more, it’ll come together. Generally I like when a ‘canon’ text leaves stuff open for speculation!

On the other hand.... I really feel like the Prophet could have been developed more. I think there were hints of things that could have been fleshed out to take his story away from the cliche and toward something new. For example, how the presence of the Air Gradia jet relates to ‘everything happens for a reason.’ In the book, we know that Tyler comes to see people who survived as blessed or chosen or morally good. And we know he sees the dead in the Air Gradia plane as people who thus were meant to die or deserved to die. And he is the one who needs to “explain” this to them. Further, he marks people and places he rejects with the sign of the airplane. I’m assuming he’s marking them as Air Gradia specifically: just like the people in the plane, you’re dead. You’re bad and you’re rejected and you’re as good as dead. That’s very interesting! But there’s another aspect and I’m not sure if it was intended or accidental: the people in the airport survived because of that flight. It was the quarantine flight, and someone when they left put up a quarantine sign, which later deterred people from coming to the airport, looting it, capturing it, bringing disease to it, etc. Were it not for the sacrifice of that jet, bringing the disease and then dying from it behind closed doors, the people in the airport would never have survived to make the community they did. That’s quite easily spinnable to “it happened for a reason.” You died for a reason. You died to save me. But i doesn’t really seem like these concepts are ever fully connected. He’s not grateful to Air Gradia, and there isn’t a... cause and effect aspect to his rejection of people as the Prophet. For example, it would be interesting if after they were marked with the plane, certain people or households were then sacrificed. Maybe they’re eaten. Or maybe they’re just executed as a ritual to God. I mean, something, come on. You can push everything happens for a reason so much farther.

I’d also like to know what happened to Elizabeth. I’d like to see more of Elizabeth, honestly. I’d like her to be a bigger presence, maybe even into the present. Tyler isn’t actually a well-developed character. He’s only in one scene as a regular kid, pre-traumas, and then later he becomes very creepy--but what do you expect, he’s living through a plague, his father just died, and his only influence is this comic he’s reading over and over. But that’s basically it. He becomes creepy in the way you’d expect and then later he becomes a violent polygamist cult leader in the way you’d expect. Elizabeth was actually a real character? I mean not the MOST developed, but much more than Tyler. I’m especially obsessed with that line “nothing bad has ever happened to her” and by the way we see her cracking up in the airport. Of all the characters, her ultimate fate--presumed dead off screen--did not seem to match up with her level of development. Did she die? Did she leave the cult? Did Tyler watch her die? Did he kill her? How did she develop in her “religious” views? Did she and her son grow together or diverge? It’s not just that I want to know and I’m curious, it’s that I feel like going into these questions would make the book stronger and more interesting and unexpected.

I do think there’s something to just knowing that Tyler’s life was dark and awful in un-specified ways. So I’m not 100% sure how much specification I want. Mostly, I want details where it would be creative and interesting and lead to twists on his trope-y story.

Another thing I had mixed feelings about was that he and Elizabeth JOIN a cult and he then ascends to leader. I thought it would be more interesting if he created it himself. But there’s also pretty much no information on how he gets from little boy on the road to cult leader, other than it was awful, “he remembers everything,” and the page from Station Eleven. The page he kept had to do with Dr. Eleven taking over from his mentor. This makes me think Tyler was groomed in some way by the previous leader, or otherwise saw himself as a protege, and maybe lost him in a terrible way and was ‘pushed’ (or perceived himself as pushed) to take over. Maybe, like Doctor Eleven, he sees himself as continuing the fight against some “Enemy”? There is a WHOLE story here, and I do want to know it!

And finally, and I definitely don’t have the brain to really go into this now, but what of Station Eleven? It doesn’t seem to have that much to do with his cult. He takes the dog’s name from it and he talks about the Undersea. But I’m not sure the metaphor tracks. What is the Undersea to him? Is he Dr. Eleven? As Dr. Eleven, where is he leading them to? (Where was Dr. Eleven leading them to in the comic itself lol?) But then I’m not sure I always get how Station Eleven maps onto the text in general as a metaphor AND I’m not wholly convinced it DOES or is supposed to. As Arthur says, he didn’t fully get the point. Miranda never even finished it, and she liked drawing more than dialogue anyway: the aesthetic over the plot. (I feel that lol.) But it feels like if the whole book is going to be called Station Eleven and the Prophet is going to be tied to it so early and it’s going to be the connection between him and Arthur’s surrogate daughter Kirsten, and it’s going to canonically be one of only 2 inspirations for his cult--it should be more baked into it? I don’t know. With this one, I’m not sure if the text is lacking or if I’m just not getting the text.

Much to think about. Now that I’m done reading I’m not sure how often I WILL think about it, but... I can let it percolate for fun.

#the year 2022 #2022: reading

[amelia-yap]

A future headcanon of mine and I actually want to write a fanfic about it: (I heard you likes ANGST)

We all know Weiss carries the promises she made like gold batches. She made a promise to Ruby once that she will be the best teammate she'll ever have, and she has been doing that indeed. She has been the best teammate ever because she never questioned Ruby, never wavering even in Atlas when the both of them, compared to everyone else, had to go through the trauma that is private to them, perhaps. They may have not talked but Weiss's body language and attentiveness around Ruby SHOWS. It's what I picked up from rewatching. Anyway, fast forward to what I imagine a final battle with team RWBY and Salem. What if Ruby wagered the choices and picked self-sacrifice?

Oh yea she would.

But Weiss wouldn't let her and Weiss always seem to know Ruby the best. She doesn't usually take visible action in showing that but this time?

Weiss knows Ruby is gonna get herself killed. So in the middle of the fight, where all hope seems to be gone. She made another promise.

"I'll get you home no matter, Ruby."

Before Ruby could throw herself to die, Weiss yanked her away and instead sacrificed herself. Because despite all, she knows it was the only way, it's either she save Ruby and the world, or save Ruby. And she is a Schnee. And she carries her promises like gold batches.

"I'll get you home, Ruby. I promised."

Ruby saw Pyrrha.

She saw Penny the first time.

She never saw Weiss get to impaled that one time.

And she never saw this coming.

But she did see a flashback of that night when Weiss made her coffee for the first time in Beacon. The night she made the vow.

Weiss was smiling.

It's identical to now except,

Ruby will never see that smile ever again.

Blake and Yang saw. Oh they saw.

Weiss will never come home with them. They knew. And lord did they try so hard to stop this from happening but Weiss, was stubborn. And Weiss made it happen.

Because Weiss loved and loved and loved and lost them once and she will never lose them ever again. She won't if she loses herself. So she goes down, for the world, for Yang, for Blake, for Winter, for Whitley, for Williw, for JNOR, for Emerald, for Klein, for who mattered most according to her gold batches, for Ruby.

Weiss goes down, no body, no weapon, no traces, and 3 broken-hearted women weeping for years and years later.

Weiss got Ruby home. At the cost of her own homecoming. At the cost of her life.

Weiss doesn't come home anymore.

why must we all suffer

#tw character death #<<< just in case #bruh this is an entire fucking essay wtf #anyway #i dont like angst but haha pain #moving on #i don't have anything much to say except why would you do this :( #also i think i got a bit confused somewhere in-between #how #idk am i missing sth or #how did weiss die lmao #no traces sounds a bit extreme #mayb e she just got warped into another dimension or something #this is fine #i think getting zapped with magical laser beams should at least warrant some ashes #a bit cliche but did you meant that a sacrifice had to be made in order to defeat salem or #wait im confused again #well #knowing that weiss' main theme in the story is about family #this is so fucking depressing #i loved the bit of the discovery you made during your rewatch tho! #ey thanks for sharing this whole thingy #lemme know if you wrote it!! #i am imagining everything above happening in slow-mo and its making me laugh and die a little on the inside #anyway extra thought: #not me thinking how the schnee family would react to this angst-fest #another take: #rby doesn't cry as much some time after the battle they just continue on with their lives #they feel that a lil piece of their soul being torn away but they'll have each other's backs when either of them is feeling particularly sad #i have more thoughts but tumblr 'max 30 tags only' said no and i gotta go inject myself with extra fluff for today so bye

[andsheloved]

𝐣𝐢𝐠𝐬𝐚𝐰

pairing ~ sherlock holmes x f!reader

word count ~ 7k

summary ~ as you wonder what it would be like for him to return your affections, sherlock finally understands what he would sacrifice to fit within your world.

warnings ~ angst, sappy fluff, happy ending i promise, crying, friends to lovers, mentions of reader wearing a dress, mutual pining but they're idiots, sherlock is tall (reference to height difference), yearning.

a/n ~ yay!! sherlock is back on the blog!! this one was a request by my dear @donutloverxo , but i'd be lying if i said this wasn't also a bit of a birthday week present for myself hehe, i do hope you all enjoy this one!! i had a whole bunch of fun writing some pining so without further ado, enjoy!!

It began with a smile.

You hated how cliche the thought sounded, but it was true, it did.

Though, didn't it always?

You cursed yourself for falling so hard, so quickly, but even more so for allowing the concept of your affections to haunt you the way that it did. Every time you believed you were surely over it, over him, the man who seemed perpetually unavailable due to cases or traveling the world or other duties you quite understood, that was just the exact moment he would smile again.

His bright, shining, kind smile. It was the sort of smile that filled one with hope, false hope, you supposed. The kind of hope that made you believe that a man as indifferent as him could love, but beyond that, that a man like him could love you.

In a city filled with so much history, the kind that either made you want to plug your ears and squirm in your seat or the kind that made you take a bit more pride in humanity, you were often told of the ghosts that lurked around every corner. Ever since you were small you could remember the tales, the idea that shadows of the past would always find a way to return. Then, you had never particularly put much weight behind the notion, but now a days, you found yourself being absolutely haunted, though your ghost was more of the present kind.

And it's name was Sherlock Holmes.

You never intended to get so entangled with a man like him, did anyone really ever? You thought. With the exception of his brother and sister, you wondered if anyone truly ever meant to get caught in his general vicinity.

Caught, yes, that was the best way to put it, you'd maybe dare to even say trapped, doomed maybe, destined to continue the same disheartening, bleak cycle until he finally decided he had had his fill of you.

The both of you sat in chairs opposite of each other, your tormenting thoughts not allowing you to read a single word on the faded pages of the book you had thoughtlessly picked off of his bookshelves. You wondered at what point in your friendship you had stopped putting so much thought into your choice of novel when you would visit. You used to be friends, you thought, and though as harsh as it sounded, you missed the time when you two were nothing but companions, when afternoon visits were just that, visits. You found yourself almost longing for the times when you simply read and enjoyed each other's company, now though, you thought, sighing as you finally closed your book, placing it gently on your lap as you looked across to see him, now, it seemed you visited to pine.

You wondered what sort of thoughts were going through his head, if the strain on your relationship was even noticed by him, or if it was just you. There seemed to be no more friendship, at least through your eyes. The only thing lying in the shallow grave of kinship the two of you had developed over the years, was hopeless optimism.

Beyond all of yout typical conversation and occasional kind gestures, you couldn't help but resent yourself for even wandering into his path, because now, all that you felt with him, was possibility.

Every movement, every glance your way, it pained you even more, not because of what was, an enduring friendship, but because of what it wasn't.

"Finished already?" He muttered from behind his newspaper, and you instantly snapped your head up to face him.

You hummed, glancing down again at your book before smiling. He was looking at you fully now, a sly, strangely knowing half smile on his lips.

"If I knew you any better I'd say you've started getting bored of me." He smirked, folding his newspaper and placing it on the small table that sat beside him.

"Who says you know me that well?" You counter, despising how your confident tone wavered just in the slightest as you raised a teasing eyebrow at him. You discovered that as of late, your only way to communicate with him during those moments when your already fragile resolve threatened to turn to dust under the weight of his intoxicating gaze, was from behind a veil of friendly banter and sarcasm.

Because in truth, he did know you that well, and with every moment that passed while in the Holmes estate, surrounded by his knick knacks and books and that undeniable feeling of home that flooded you every time you entered his space, you feared that you'd end up blurting out something that could ruin everything you had built together.

"You'd do better than to challenge him to something like that," The sneering voice of Mycroft entered the room with the abruptness of a nearby mirror shattering, "Lest you want the entirety of your past, present, and quite possibly, your future exposed to the world."

You watched Sherlock's expression falter for a moment, a slight twitch in his jaw as he looked back at his brother.

There was a strange, undeniable tension that suddenly filled the room as the pair continued to glare at each other. A self assured smirk tugging at the corners of Mycroft's lips as Sherlock continued to scowl at him.

You quickly turned to the window, not even bothering to really look at the world outside, using it as more of an opportunity to escape the strange atmosphere that had befell the library.

"It's getting late," You smiled, placing your long forgotten reading material on the nearby coffee table as you stood, "Thank you for having me," You turned to Sherlock, your throat going just a tad drier as he stood to his full height. "As always." You finished, clearing your throat.

"It's my pleasure," He replied, that damned, kind smile flashing once again, "As always." He added.

You sighed, running your palms down the front of your dress as you began your way towards the exit, throwing a quick, thankful nod to Mycroft before Sherlock joined you on your way through the home.

"Until next time." He breathed, opening the door for you.

The spring breeze that suddenly flew through the entryway shocked you both, Sherlock's deep chuckle rumbling through him as you failed to stifle the amused gasp that escaped you.

It was strange to see him like this sometimes, you often forgot that such a world famous detective could be like this, his curls gently tousled by the wind as he gently runs a hand through it, doing his best to keep them under control to no avail against the persistent wind. A light smile on his lips as his head tilted back just a little when he laughed.

"You know, one of these days, you're going to get sick of me visiting you all the time." You suddenly quipped with a smirk, attempting to salvage the rest of your dignity before you entirely revealed yourself.

He raised a suspicious eyebrow at you, his head tilting slightly as he scanned your features. It was in moments like these when you realized that not even you were immune to his inquisitive stare.

"And just when I thought you truly knew me..." He mumbled, the corners of his lips turning into the shadow of a sly grin before retreating into something more genuine as he continued, "I could never tire of your visits."

There was a moment of silence between the both of you, the sort of lingering, spring-haze, romantic quiet in which a confession could surely debut, and so a quiet in which you found no solace in. Thus, you did nothing to prolong it, clearing your throat just as quickly as the silence had settled.

"Then I will be seeing you very soon." You turned, not daring to spend another moment staring into his eyes, in fear that if you waited a second longer, you may have just thrown yourself at him.

You threw a quick wave behind you without even turning to face him.

"I look forward to it!" You heard him call, and you couldn't help how your steps faltered at the sound of his voice behind you.

Sherlock was your friend, one of your closest in fact, and yet, now it seemed you couldn't even bare to spend another moment with him, the entirety of your visits spent torturing yourself with thoughts of what else could be instead of what you already had.

You two were an unlikely pair, with him being so critical and even cynical at times, it was a surprise he had so quickly taken to you in the way that he did when the both of you had first been introduced. During the time you had come to know him, Sherlock had taught you how to sift through the evidence and clues and opinions of others to only leave behind the absolute truths.

As you walked through the winding path that led out of the estate, you thought for a moment, knowing that in some strange, dismal way, maybe Sherlock would be proud of you for the absolute truth you had now just uncovered within yourself.

You were in love with Sherlock Holmes.

And that was exactly why your friendship had to end.

Sherlock wasn't a stupid man by any means, but for a man who had made his entire career by exploiting other people's weaknesses, it was a wonder that you had even made it this far in hiding your true feelings for the man.

You'd visit him today as one last time to enjoy yourself, you thought, before you ultimately robbed yourself of his company.

You took another glance up at the ivy covered stone that you had grown to love so much, the unkempt shrubbery adding a sense of character to the home that you so cherished.

Just as you were about to knock on the door, the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you had you turning on your heels instantly.

An immediate wave of relief washed over you when you saw him, even though you knew of the doomed fate that soon awaited your relationship, it seemed that you couldn't help the way your mind and body reacted to his presence.

"Sherlock," You smiled, "I hope I didn't come at a bad-"

"It's never a bad time," He quickly replied, a peaceful, at-ease smile etched onto his features as he spoke to you, "In fact, I believe that the only times that I would consider dreadful are the moments when you aren't gracing us with your company." He smirked, outstretching his hand to you. "I was hoping you could join me in the garden?"

You suddenly became unsure if the abrupt feeling of heat was due to the unobstructed rays of the noon sun, or his swift, quick witted suavity that always seemed to have you melting.

"Of course" You replied, quickly taking his arm and following his steps beside you as he led you around the grounds.

A peaceful calm settled between the two of you as you walked, the world only being filled with the pleasant chirping of the afternoon birds and the hushed sound of your footsteps the ground beneath you.

You looked at the man beside you, a mixture of melancholy as well as a ill-fated feeling of hope falling over you. He would never be yours, but it didn't hurt to pretend for just a moment, would it?

"You know, I have been meaning to ask you of something." Sherlock finally spoke, turning to you with a smile.

You only smiled in response, cheerfully waiting for him to continue as you absorbed the moment you found yourself in. You almost knew for certain that it wouldn't be the question you so longed to hear, but you would enjoy the brief flicker of hope while you could.

"I was wondering if you would..."

You watched as he trailed off, a sudden puzzling expression falling onto his face before it returned to the same, casual smile he had been wearing.

"...If you would assist me in the library? I've been meaning to better organize the books, though I can't seem to get the system quite right." He chuckled, turning from you to look around him once again.

You hummed, doing your best to hide your almost anticipated ache that materialized within you once he completed his question.

No matter the situation, whether it was government officials or bakery owners, he had always seemed to know just what to say, though now, the bleak realization that he would never say the right thing to you finally came to pass within you.

"The great Mr. Holmes needing my help in a library? I'll alert the press." You teased, cursing yourself for the slight tremble in your tone that even you hadn't noticed until the words left your lips.

"I would believe you, it's only that I know far too much about you for you to even dare." He smirked, squinting his eyes at you in mock challenge.

You hadn't at all been keeping track of how much time had passed, it felt as if every time you were with him, time became a foreign concept, passing you by before you could even count a second. All you did know, was that you had begun to remember passing the same twisted tree trunk a few too many times.

You sighed as you turned the familiar corner, the entrance of the large home beckoning you to enter, begging you to indulge yourself in it's comforts one final time.

Sherlock seemed to have the same idea, turning to you with furrowed brows when he noticed you had stopped, your arm falling from his.

"Are you not coming in-"

"I think I should be heading home," You feigned a gentle smile as you continued, "I didn't sleep much last night," You stammered, "But thank you as always, for having me."

You saw how he tilted his head, the shadow of a question already creeping onto his expression. His suspicion seemingly faded just as it came to him though, a timid smile replacing his concern almost instantly. "I'll see you soon then?"

What were you to even say? That you had already made the plan to never see him again? Or that you were too hopelessly in love with him to even spend a minute more alone with him?

You only nodded, not having the strength to lie to him so directly.

"I appreciate you." He suddenly blurted, and your eyes widened at his sudden exclamation. "Your company, I mean," He clarified, "I know I'm often not the most...Amiable... So thank you, for always joining me."

"Sherlock," You sighed, shaking your head, "I appreciate you for not yet getting tired of me."

He let out a soft, amused huff before replying, "I could never."

For once, you decided to spare yourself from any more pain, deciding to only smile before quickly turning to begin your journey home.

Sherlock was nothing if not logical, and now, you suddenly feared that some of his critical, almost pessimistic rationale had rubbed off on you. As you tramped through the dust covered path, you wondered if some feelings were meant to be felt, only to be let go.

Maybe feelings like this were never meant to be lingered on, that was why crimes of passion happened, wasn't it? Because someone, somewhere, decided to feel just a little too much.

Maybe feelings like this were only meant to be temporary things, or maybe, you thought, you had left your last sliver of sanity at the Holmes' doorstep.

Regardless if feelings like this were truly temporary, you knew you would have the initials of Sherlock Holmes perpetually etched into the memory of your heart.

Dear Friend,

I hope you are able to visit us in the coming week, the library is in desperate need of your expertise.

~

S.H

You knew he would question the fact that you had sent a letter to notify him of your lack of a visit this week, but you hoped he wouldn't think too much about it, you had always prided yourself on the fact that Sherlock could never quite seem to break you open they way you had so often seen him do to others.

You tried to recall a week that had gone by without you visiting him, and with a huff, quickly reminded yourself that this was precisely what you were supposed to not be doing.

You should have been excited, to finally have all the time in the world entirely to yourself. No worries of rushing off to read in someone else's home, or to assist anyone with whatever horrific crime that had landed at their doorstep that week.

Though as you glanced around your quiet living area, the only sound being the muted ticking of the clock, it took you less than a second to understand that whatever you did, you could most certainly not stay here. It was almost silent, much too quiet for your own liking, and though there were benefits to living alone, you couldn't help but think that your space needed some sort of life other than your own, more movement, more books, more...

Less thinking, you quickly decided, swiftly grabbing your gloves from the small table sitting beside your entryway before leaving with a frustrated huff.

You found that the park was not much different, but with the absence of quiet, you found the presence of people.

Which brought entirely new problems.

Like seeing.

It seemed that everywhere you turned, you found cheerful pairs wherever you looked.

And as it often did, with the looking, came the thinking.

Him in that brown vest and coat he always seemed to be sporting in the spring, always paired with that deep blue tie that always brought out his eyes. As much as he tried to keep his curls under control, they'd always manage to fly about every time even the gentlest of winds blew his way. Would he hold your hand? Or would he intertwine your arm with his to keep you closer?

A young boy called out across the park, holding out a single flower, outstretching it to any couple that happened to pass him by. He must have noticed you staring from the way he tipped his cap at you.

Would he buy you one? A part of you wondered if he would find such gestures cliche, but on the other hand, you could already hear his voice in your head, explaining the cultural significance and meaning of each of the blossoms. Maybe he'd even buy one for Enola, he's always adored her.

What would she think of you and him? You two wouldn't go without teasing at first, that was for certain. Though in the end, she probably wouldn't mind, you always enjoyed your time with her whenever you managed to catch her before she left for whatever adventure she had planned for herself that day.

You hummed, swallowing back the sudden lump that formed in your throat. Home, you decided, home would definitely be much better than this.

You hadn't made any more plans to step beyond your doorway this week, only dressing yourself to quickly grab the newspaper you had heard thump against your door this morning.

It was only by complete chance you had seen them, if it had been any other day, if the news hadn't been delivered this morning, you would have never even been aware of them.

But the news had been delivered today, and now you were very aware of them.

A dozen orange Tulips, wrapped neatly in burlap and brown paper, sitting on your doorstep.

You looked out into the street, searching both ways for any sign of any flower vendor or any distraught suitors that may have accidentally thrown their flowers onto your doorstep.

Flower vendor. You thought, a quiet 'hmm' escaping you as you thought of the possibility, swiftly grabbing the unexpected gift before shutting the door behind you.

Even as you told yourself, promised yourself that you wouldn't find yourself back at the park again, or at least not so soon, here you were, sat on the same bench as the day previous.

From this vantage point, you could see nearly everything, the carousel, the various walking trails, even your own apartment, but more importantly, the barking flower seller that sat right in the middle of everything.

You suddenly wished you had listened more to Sherlock's impromptu detective lessons he would often share with you, how did he always stay so discreet?

And just as you glanced his way again, the younger boy spotted you once again, quickly flashing a salesman-worth smile your way before tipping his cap once again.

His suavity was of no importance to you though, when you noticed just what type of flowers he was selling. Orange Tulips.

He'd be proud.

You raised a suspicious eyebrow as you scanned the park's crowd once again. Mistakes happen, you thought, things get delivered to incorrect addresses constantly, you were certain your situation was no different.

Dear Friend,

I am sorry to hear you are feeling ill, please do not hesitate to phone if you so need anything.

~

S.H

As much as you disdained lying to him, you determined that your small deception this week would be less painful than the truth.

You really only meant to check the temperature outside, quickly cracking your door open when you saw the flash of color peeking out from under the door.

Orange Tulips.

You bent down to swiftly grab them from your doorway, you stood, opening the door further to take a better look around the street. Though you couldn't bring yourself to truly care about searching for any suspects, the only thoughts managing to cross your mind being of the Tulips you now clutched to your chest.

Maybe it wasn't a mistake? What were the chances of the same flowers winding up on the same doorstep again?

You smiled, looking down at the bouquet. When was the last time someone had gotten you flowers? This was precisely what you needed to begin to move on, something new, someone new.

You turned your back to the street as you slipped back inside, still holding the tulips close to your chest as if they were the most precious thing in the world to you. You closed the door, sighing with a smile as you made your way into the kitchen, finding a small vase and filling it with water from your sink.

He'd probably know just what they were called, he'd probably know just where they were from as well, not just from some park vendor, but some specific garden just a little south of the London, all by looking at the leftover soil on their leaves.

You groaned as you sat the vase on your table, he truly was a ghost wasn't he? Following you around as if some archaic witch had cursed you, shackling him to you for the rest of your days. You supposed there were worse demons to manage.

Dear Friend,

Should we be expecting you for dinner this coming Friday? Ferndell Hall has grown incredibly dull without you.

~

S.H

You continued to read the letter over and over again until you felt you could recite the few words by memory.

It had been sent to you two weeks ago, and you had received no letter since, the only mail gracing your doorstep to be the orange tulips that never failed to appear every Tuesday now.

Possibility used to excite you, the idea of something new coming into your life used to fill you with joy, but now, the notion of something unfamiliar only filled you with a strange, dreary feeling.

It felt as if the sun filled the sky, though your mind could only focus on the scattering of clouds that would occasionally block it's shine. Whoever this unknown admirer was, you almost felt bad for accepting their gifts knowing that it was him you wished for them to be from.

It had been six weeks since you last saw him, a mere flash of time in the grand scheme of things, though you'd have to admit that the most arduous portion of your time alone was the time since he had sent his last letter.

You supposed you couldn't be upset with him, for it was you who had stopped writing him in the first place, believing it would be less agonizing to cease all communication rather than to continue lying to him.

Though now, it was painfully clear to you how wrong you had been. He had now given up on you, and in a solemn moment of clarity, you supposed that's what you had always wanted.

Wasn't it the natural progression of things anyway? Even the strongest of chain links eventually fall to rust and decay, ultimately separating from each other when their bonds become damaged enough.

Reasons, seasons, or lifetimes, you could recall the lesson being told to you early on in your childhood. You would always discover why someone had fallen into your life's path some way or another. This time was different though, you supposed Sherlock fell into your life for all three.

He was your only reason for staying in this god-forsaken city to begin with, and you supposed that now, he would be the reason you would never leave. The seasons you spent in the Holmes's estate were some of your most cherished memories, memories that, despite your situation, you would continue to hold on to regardless. And no matter how bitterly or abruptly your friendship had ended, you knew that he would remain with you for a lifetime.

You looked down, suddenly noticing the iron grip you had suddenly developed around the now slightly wilted tulip you had been holding.

You wondered where else in the world flowers like this would grow, surely there were other flower sellers in the world, surely there were other cities, right?

You hummed, your fingers now fidgeting with the few fallen petals that rested in your hand as you thought, certainly other towns grew orange Tulips?

You almost felt hysterical, pondering a question so pointless, knowing there was no use in even wondering. The thought killed you and calmed you all at once, for you knew right then, that no corner on Earth would relieve you of Sherlock Holmes.

Suddenly, there was a knock on your door, and you instantly turned to the window.

The harsh droplets of rain almost carpeted your window and you wondered how you had not noticed the building sound of the storm outside all this time.

You furrowed your brow, setting the damaged flower on the table before making your way to the door. You sighed, almost groaning to yourself at the thought of whatever salesman or tax collector that was awaiting to torment you.

You quickly wiped your suddenly dampened cheeks, quickly flashing a soft smile to ready yourself turn down whatever useless product that awaited you on the opposite side of your door.

You closed your eyes for a moment as you began to open the door, "Hello-"

"Why have you stopped seeing me?"

You could do nothing to stifle the hushed gasp that left you at the sound of his voice. You snapped your eyes open, his hair was absolutely dripping, a soggy newspaper in hand that he had no doubt been using to shield himself from the storm at some point along his journey.

"Sherlock? What are you doing here?-" Your words came out more as a plea rather than a question.

"To ask you a question." He replied simply, his tone determined and unwavering as he spoke, "Why have you stopped coming to visit?"

"Sherlock, I- It's pouring, you shouldn't-" You stammered before he interrupted you once again.

"Please. I just-" He ran a hand through his sopping hair before making a sound akin to something crossed between a sigh and a groan, "I needed to see you."

You noticed how his chest rose and fell rapidly, how his knuckles turned a lighter shade as he gripped the drenched paper.

Even in all the time you spent away from him, attempting with all of your heart to begin to despise him as best you could for whatever reason you could concoct, you couldn't help the way your heart leapt at the site of him at your doorstep.

You furrowed your brow, your lips drawing into a thin line of concern before you stepped aside the doorway, "Come in." You quickly muttered.

His large frame stepped into your space almost instantly, and you abhorred the way your heart warmed at the sight of him in your space.

You closed the door behind him, turning to face him just as quickly. In just a few moments, he would leave, you thought, and you'd be alone again, though despite what you had tried to convince yourself of over the last few weeks, you couldn't deny the familiar feeling of comfort that washed over you at the sight of him.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your day, but I wished to speak with you immediately." He spoke firmly. "Is there a reason you've stopped seeing me- us." He suddenly corrected.

How could you ever explain what truly had happened between the two of you. The words sat the tip of your tonuge that you had been holding in your heart promised to relieve you of the ever growing weight you had been carrying, though you would sooner strangle yourself than allow them to slip with him still present.

"I've been busy." You spoke plainly, attempting to keep your tone as even as possible, even as the tightness in your throat slowly threatened to suffocate you. "I'm sorry."

"You could have-" He interrupted himself, pinching the bridge of his nose as he began to pace, "Is there someone else?" He suddenly asked.

"Sherlock, I have no idea-"

"I thought you enjoyed my- our, company, I thought we were friends."

You sighed, your eyes darting back and forth as you watched him pace, the floorboards beginning to creak under the sudden stress. "We were, we are. I promise there's no reason-"

"Why have you stopped visiting then?" He almost spat, his face turning a lighter shade of red as he paused, now standing directly in front of you. "If nothing has happened, then why have you so seemingly abandoned us?"

If it were any one else standing in your foyer, you would have most likely cast them out already with his pacing and frantic tone, but as he stood before you now, a his dampened, stray curls plastered to his forehead, his breath becoming increasingly shallower as he spoke, you began to see the desperate little boy that Mycroft so often teased him of being.

"I know-" He swallowed, gathering himself before continuing, "That Mycroft isn't often the most welcoming, and I understand that even Enola can be a bit anarchic herself. Even I find myself to be a bit irritating at times, but please, I'm begging you, tell me what's happened."

You could only quietly whimper, finding yourself speechless, the beginnings of tears stinging the corners of your eyes offering him your wordless response.

There was a weighted pause that settled between the both of you, threatening to crush the both of you if it continued for any longer.

"Have you..." He took a deep, steadying breath, "Have you truly gotten tired of me?"

A muted gasp left you instantly at his question, and your response came as quickly as your initial reaction, "I could never." You offered him a melancholy, tearful smile. "I could never." You repeated, shaking your head as you tried to swallow back the barrage of tears that began to build within you.

You watched as his expression fell even more than it had before, his forlorn smile reflecting your own. "You know, I believed that the flowers might begin to apologize for whatever I had done to hurt you." He slowly began to saunter over to the table on which you had placed your withered flower from before. "I thought I would surprise you one day, visit you instead of you having to make the journey..." He gently plucked the Tulip from it's place, lifting it to his eye level before gently turning it between his thumb and forefinger, he smiled weakly as he continued to examine the flower.

Your voice was broken as you finally replied, your tone crumbling under the weight of his confession, causing your words to come out as shattered whispers as you held back tears, "Then why didn't you visit?" A sudden, unfamiliar anger flooded you at the thought, if he was so close, than why didn't he?

He finally put down the flower, his eyes quickly falling to you, "Because..." He straightened himself, clearing his throat before continuing, "You looked happy."

"What?" Your reply left you in an instant, almost much too quickly for your own liking, but it couldn't be helped.

"I could see you, just from that bench just across the way, you seemed to be just as lively with your flowers as you once were with me. And so I found myself content to watch."

"Sherlock, I never- Do you-" You stammered, and though your thoughts raced, you attempted to collect yourself, and taking a deep breath, you continued. "Do you think so little of me?"

His eyes immediately widened at your response, "I would never," He took a testing step closer to you, watching your expression to gauge his next movement. "I find that it is myself I think so little of."

You tilted your head at his puzzling confession, only watching his features carefully as you waited for him to go on.

He took another step closer to you, and even as your bodies stood with only inches separating them, you stood your ground.

"I apologize if I led you to believe it was someone else gifting you flowers, I understand now that to think that someone such as myself, could ever, deserve affections from someone like yourself. It was foolish of me, and I am sorry-"

"Sherlock, I-"

"Please," He begged, "I don't know if there has been someone else in my absence, and I don't believe I would ever like to know, I'm only asking you to tell me the truth of what happened between us."

In all your years of knowing him, you weren't sure if you had ever seen him like this. You had seen him at his limits, pushed to his very wits end during certain cases, but you had never seen him as the way he was now. His shoulders sagged, his chest rising and falling rapidly as his eyes darted across every inch of you, no doubt trying to decipher your every movement to find an answer to his question.

You wondered for a moment, what did he see? You could find no reason to hide your feelings now, the walls you had put so much effort into constructing already began the slow process of decaying over the past few weeks, so you were almost certain you probably looked as lovesick as you did when you first realized your sudden passions for him.

Regardless, you figured there was no use in attempting to conceal yourself now.

Freedom, on whatever scale, seldom came for free, and if loosing him was the price you would pay for independence from your own feelings, you thought, than so be it.

"Sherlock," You breathed, "You have been... My closest friend-"

"Have." He quickly interjected, "Then what's changed." His tone was more frustrated now, determined to pull the truth from you no matter how long it would take him.

You groaned, hating the sudden interrogation tactic he had now adopted with you. You had no energy to argue against him though, you last fragment of strength dissolving into the unwieldy atmosphere around you as you finally allowed your tears to fall. "I'm sorry, I only- Friends grow apart, that's all." You feigned a weak smile, unable to look at him directly as you fidgeted with your hands. "That's all that happened." You whispered.

When you finally looked up at him, you noticed how his lips parted in a silent gasp, his eyes widening just a tad more than before, as if the very notion of the two of you growing apart had astonished him to his very core.

Or maybe he was expecting a different answer.

"You mean to tell me that that, is the truth?" He asked, and before you could even gather yourself to form a response, he continued. "That our friendship, everything that has come to pass between us, was only thrown away because of nothing?"

You despised how grim his explanation sounded, but if that was what he had to believe to finally leave you, you would accept it.

You could only manage to nod in response, knowing your voice would be too broken to reply in any sort of convincing manner.

"That all of your visits, all of that time, together," He emphasized, "Meant nothing to you? So little that it could be discarded so quickly?"

"Yes..." You muttered even as it pained you to even speak, the tightness in your throat only constricting you further as you attempted to thwart your sobs.

"I'm sorry, but I just cannot accept that." He stated, though you noticed how his voice had grown slightly less assured as it was before.

His sudden abruptness shocked you, almost as much as it seemed to shock himself, his face contorting into a wince at the sound of his own harsh tone.

"Not when-" He quickly softened his voice as he stared back at you, his eyes continuing to search your own for some sort of sign for him to stop, though you gave him none. His breaths became almost heaving, as if he were warming up for a sprint, "Not when I've just began to understand..." He trailed off, swallowing as his eyes dropped to the floor for a moment before returning to you. "That I love you."

Your heart faltered and you had to fight the overwhelming urge to pinch yourself. If Sherlock Holmes loved you in this reality, then you would be perfectly content from never waking again. It was only when he begun speaking again that you had realized you hadn't responded.

"I found that in your absence, that I am nothing short of miserable. You plague my mind in every waking moment, and yet, I find myself never having enough of you."

"Sherlock-"

"Please," He begged, "After living without your visits, your kindness, your smile, I understand now that nothing in this world could wound me in the way your leaving has. That," He chuckled lightly, "Is one fact I have never been more certain of."

You couldn't muffle the choked sob that escaped you, you shook your head, still standing before him in disbelief at his confession. In all that time you had spent concealing your own feelings, had you really not seen his?

"Tell me you've never felt the same and I will stop, even if you have found someone, if that is the truth of the matter, I will accept it. All I am asking is just a portion- a moment of your thoughts, and I'd be content." He sighed before he continued, "It would be a privilege, to have my heart broken by you."

His words both froze and freed you all at once. Sherlock always had the talent of uncovering truths, of seeing straight through people, and for all the time you had known him, it occasionally begun to feel as if he was only seeing through you, just as he did so often to others. Though as he stared at you now, you began to recognize the certain way his eyes fell to you. It was the same look he gave you when the two of you were both first made acquainted, the same light reflected in his eyes just as it did when the both of you found yourselves under that tree in the garden, laughing until both of your stomach's hurt. It was the same gaze you found paralyzed by whenever he would greet you, and the same glance he would throw your way every time you two parted.

In all those moments when you felt so invisible, when it felt as if he was only seeing through you, you realized now, he was seeing you.

He looked at you, with all of your insecurities, with all of your mistakes, with all of your flaws, and every time, regardless of the faults you found within yourself, he still chose to love.

"Sherlock," You finally managed to sputter through your tears, "I- I could never have found someone else." You smiled, "I love you." You reached for his hand mindlessly, as if some invisible string began pulling you to him. "I think I always have."

His long forgotten, sopping newspaper fell to the floor as he reached for you, his other hand suddenly finding itself resting on your lower back, slowly urging you closer to him.

You stared up at him, his face only inches from your own as his breath fanned across your cheek. You were close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him, the feeling was intoxicating, you wondered how you were able to go so long without it.

You watched as his eyes switched quickly to your lips before he spoke again, his voice laden with a barely audible tremble. "May I?"

You discovered yourself once again at a loss for words, even as your body felt as light as a cloud, it felt as if your mouth had filled entirely with lead, and so your only reply was a slow nod, your chest meeting his with every heavy breath.

In the instant you gave your wordless confirmation, he was crashing into you, like a storm wave meeting a rocky shore it was always destined for. His arm pulled you snugly against him, not allowing you any room for movement as his lips molded into yours. His lips were warm and soft as they moved against yours, your hand gripping onto the lapel of his jacket to steady yourself. He held you with a tenderness that you never thought him capable of, as if he feared you would disappear into thin air if he gripped you too tightly. Your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, every curve and ridge interlocking until the two of you could almost be mistaken as one.

It was every farewell and every hello, every moment of longing and endless wondering, and every second of hope that you had once thought to be lost, poured into one enchanted gesture.

He was now yours, just as much as you were always his.

When he finally parted from you, the two of you found yourselves panting as you both attempted to regain your balance.

"I've been wanting to do that, for far too long" He spoke breathlessly as your eyelids finally fluttered open. He must have seen how your eyes quickly flickered to his swollen lips, his timid smile quickly growing into a endearingly wicked smirk before he continued. "And I believe I'm about to do it again."

ah!! i'm so excited to be posting full fics again!! i know it's been a minute, but honestly i feel like i'm in such a better place mentally now after Things, and i truly have you all to thank for that. over the past bit, i've received so many kind and motivating messages, the support that i received here was honestly overwhelming (in the best way) and was honestly my primary reason for continuing on and pushing through some days. so please take all of the sherlock hugs from me, you all deserve them more than you'll ever know :)

as always, likes, comments, and reblogs are always, always appreciated!!

want more sherlock? check out my masterlist!!

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[sapphire-dreamsky]

Here’s to 1000 years of Loneliness

Starring: Sukuna | Reader | Prime Ryomen Sukuna

Pairing: Sukuna/Reader

Setting: Prime Age of Sorcery

Inspiration

When you woke up, you didn't expect to wake up on a hard surface. You were pretty sure that if it weren't for Sukuna's arms around you, you would be shivering, teeth clacking because it was cold. But Sukuna's body was like a furnace. He radiated heat as naturally as he radiated curse energy.

Turning your head left and right, you found yourself confused. Where were you? You didn't recognise the surroundings. Were you dreaming?

You pinched yourself just in case.

Nope.

You were very much awake.

Where the fuck were you?

Wiggling out of Sukuna’s grasp, you pay no mind to his groans of annoyance.

Looking around, you realise that you were not in your home. 

In fact, you were in some sort of red spider lilies field. The flowers were beautiful. They reminded you of Sukuna’s eyes a bit. 

Anyway. Back to the enigma. Where were you and how did you arrive here? (A/N: Got no idea on this one. Plot hole for you, plot convenience for me. Enjoy your vacation though😏.)

You hear some shuffling behind you. You turn around, only to be met with the red curious eyes of your boyfriend.

‘‘What the-?’’

Sukuna was as perplexed as you. However, the more he looks around, the more he recognises the area.

‘‘I know this place. How-?’’

Suddenly, without much explanation for his odd behaviour, the curse grabs your hand and turns on his heels, marching towards the forest surrounding the area. 

You tried your best to keep up but it was difficult with his long strides.

You had to practically run behind him to keep up.

‘‘Sukuna...wait...you are too quick!’’

He looks at you with a teasing glint. 

Suddenly, you are thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potato.

‘‘Hey!’’

However, he pays you no mind. In fact, he seems to march even more quickly. 

Because your back was turned, you couldn’t understand why he suddenly stopped. However, by his appreciative ‘hmm’, you guess it was a good sign. Maybe he found the way back?

He doesn’t really let you down. In fact, with a confidence that could only belong to Sukuna, he makes his way into a shrine as if he owned the place.

You could only see the entrance getting smaller as he marches inside.

‘‘Aaahhh. It feels so good to be back home!’’

‘Home?’

Before you could ask what he meant, a booming voice could be heard from the inside of the temple.

A voice so similar and yet so different from your Sukuna. Is it his dad?

‘‘Who dares cross the threshold of my territory without even waiting for my servants to welcome you in? You got some balls.’’

Out from the shadows emerges Sukuna, in all his four arms glory. His face was nothing like the current Sukuna. Cold and hard, he glares down at the shorter curse who does not appear intimidated at all. In fact, Sukuna grins at his younger self.

‘‘Oh oh! Damn I knew I looked nice but I didn’t know to that extent. Human, look at my former form! Wasn’t it marvelous? Look at those muscles! Man, I miss those. And look at how tall I was! I wished that this body could be as tall as I was back then! I had a field day intimidating everyone!’’

‘‘Wait what?!’’ Now you were confused. Sukuna lets you down from his shoulder gently. Then he turns you around and you have to crane your neck to even see the face of Sukuna? But it wasn’t really Sukuna too? 

Indeed, the man standing in front of you is nothing like your current Sukuna. In fact, you were panicking in your mind. You were pretty sure your body was trembling too.

This curse is Sukuna in his prime. What if he kills your Sukuna? 

‘‘Uhm…’’

‘‘I can’t believe I looked so good though! No wonder everyone cowered before me back then! I didn’t even have to deploy my curse energy before they all scurried away like little rabbits!’’

Your Sukuna began gleefully laughing as if this situation was even remotely funny. While you could agree that Prime Sukuna (You started calling him that because calling him Sukuna too would be too confusing), was indeed handsome, his face did not appear to find this situation hilarious. And you had to agree with him here. 

There was nothing funny about this situation. 

‘‘You brought in a sacrifice I see. Nice one. You chose well.’’

Prime Sukuna inspects you over with his four eyes. However, unlike your Sukuna, these eyes were cold and harsh. You felt a shiver run up your back. Your instincts were telling you to run. But if Prime Sukuna was anything like your Sukuna, this would only set him off further. 

Your Sukuna stopped laughing. However, his smirk was still in place. He puts an arm around your shoulders as if this situation was normal.

‘‘They are nice, aren’t they? They can even cook very well! I have never tasted better food than theirs!’’

Prime Sukuna huffs, crosses his four arms.

‘‘Oh yeah? I would have to be the judge of that.’’

‘‘Well, you kind of already judged that. Well, technically I did. But I’m you.’’

‘‘I can see that. But why are you so short? Did I get hit by a curse or something?’’

‘‘No. You were sealed but then reincarnated into the 21st century. I won’t tell you the details because it could be bad to change the future and all that.’’

Sukuna waves his hand around dismissively. You look at him inquisitively. He could have just warned his past self here. There was no one to stop him.

‘‘Anyway. Let’s sit and speak for a bit. We got stuck here apparently. Let me introduce you to my brat. Technically they are yours too but not now.’’

‘‘Prime Sukuna merely nods to you.

Both Sukuna went on to sit at a table where there was a big jug of sake. He pours some for his shorter self and some for yourself. 

Sukuna began telling him his adventures in the future as they both drank and laughed. 

This situation was strange. Weird even. But seeing your Sukuna so careless and free, laughing with himself (?) as he drinks sake is a sight that you would give anything to see again. 

You realised as Prime Sukuna leads you both to his personal chambers to sleep, that they weren’t that different after all. Perhaps Prime Sukuna was indeed a violent, cruel and ruthless curse who wreaked havoc everywhere he went. But as you watched him interact, you realise that he isn’t that much different from his present self.

He still had this same habit as his present self as your Sukuna showed him his phone and took selfies with it, showing it to his past self who was so confused by all this.

As soon as you dropped your head on the pillow, sleep overcame you.

However, Sukuna was not sleepy. He watched over you, mind battling with the endless possibilities. If he told his prime self when, where and how he will be sealed, he would still be able to wreak havoc everywhere. If he tells everything to him, he would not have to go through more than 1000 years of loneliness. He would not have to watch as time goes on without him. He would not have to be an observer. He would live through these 1000 years and destroy whoever came in his way. But would he meet you? If he didn’t get sealed, would he take the time to get to know you? A mere human who was too awkward for their own good. A human who made him feel love for the first time. A human who understands him and accepts him just as he is. A human who doesn’t cower in fear when he loses his temper and wants to destroy everything because he is not from this time. He doesn’t understand this era he was reincarnated into. And he hates not understanding.

Prime Sukuna watches his future self think while he watches your sleeping form. A question pounds his head as he looks at his weaker self.

‘‘Are they worth not telling me when we first met, how I will be sealed?’’

Sukuna didn’t know how to answer his past self. He didn’t know if he would understand. He knows how his mind works because he used to believe that love was not for him. Love is stupid and makes you weak. But you make him stronger. His desire to protect you makes him stronger than he ever was. He hates how cliche it sounds, but that’s how he feels every time he is with you. He will complain about the era he was reincarnated into countless times. He misses his old form, his old raw power. But then, if he were to tell him everything. Would he have met you? What if indeed his past self escapes from his future self telling him about the sealing and who the sorcerers were and continues to wreak havoc as he goes from village to village? You were not from a clan of sorcerers. You would be fine. But then, what if his past self accidentally kills your ancestors during his rampages? Sukuna didn’t know who your ancestors were. He wouldn’t be able to warn his past self that they were the ancestors of his future partner. Besides, what is it to say that he would even spare them? He never knew love nor loneliness. To him, it would be like any other family. Nothing special about them. So, instead of telling his old self all that, he merely smiles slightly.

‘‘Yeah. They are worth everything.’’

His younger self looks at the bright honest happy smile that his future self is sporting. He chuckles silently so as to not wake you. He brings his glass of sake to his lips, muttering, ‘‘well, here’s to 1000 years of loneliness I guess?’’

Sukuna brings his own glass to his lips, a smile still on his face as he thinks back to all these moments spent together. ‘‘Yeah. Here’s to 1000 years of loneliness.’’

#sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #jjk sukuna x reader

[twistedmusings]

What Are You Writing?

A/N: JOKES ON YOU GUYS, I'M AN OBEY ME WRITERS BLOG NOW. Nah not really, I mean maybe I might start thinking about making one in the future but I see all these awesome writers in that fandom and I get i n t i m i d a t e d. Nevertheless, I did want to pull a harmless prank on my readers so...enjoy a labor of love and possible regret as I now have to work on other requests ó uò

How would the brothers act with a Writer MC?

-He almost jumps when you walk into the room, practically shouting his name as you go to stand next to his desk and take a peek at what he is working on.

“Can I help you? “You certainly can.”

-You place a notebook next to his stack of paperwork and take a pen out, opening it up to a blank page before staring at him and building up your courage to ask the next question.

“What would you do if I suddenly asked you to be my fake boyfriend for a day?”

-You certainly were keeping up with your role in being the one human he isn’t able to pin down, huh?

-He asks what in the world you are talking about and you squat near him so that you can explain what you were doing. RAD proved to be a lot more stressful than you thought and you didn’t need to remind him that you were playing therapist to seven demons so you needed some sort of break.

-You tell him that in the human world you had a habit of writing ideas, snippets and even random bits of dialogue when you got stressed so you had asked Satan to lend you a notebook and a pen so you could unwind but you had gotten stuck in one scene.

-The character you were writing was loosely based on Lucifer so you decided why not ask him what he would do in order to get some inspiration!

“So here I am! I don’t need an entire synopsis I just want to know because maybe that will spark something inside of me.”

-Pen to paper, you look up at Lucifer ready to write anything down and even though you were looking him straight in the eye you were not paying attention to just how hard Lucifer was staring at you.

-You really had no idea how he felt about you, did you?

-Even with the pact making, the Hellfire Newt Syrup incident, the countless of times he had tried to flirt with you to the point that anyone without eyes could tell how he felt about you, your human brain did not seem to accept the fact that the eldest of the seven demon lords had fallen for you.

-Was this just another way of torturing him? Who would have thought that you would be such a cruel master?

-If only he wasn’t bound to you by the pact. Not that he regretted it but without the pact the ‘need’ to submit to you wasn’t as strong, all he would have to do is grab your chin, turn your face towards his so that he could tell you explicitly what was going through his head every time he saw you--

“...I would walk you to class, first and foremost. We would leave the House of Lamentation together and arrive together as well. Maybe some impromptu dates. Free tutoring as well.” “That’s tempting~ Would you let me hang around in your study?” “You are already welcome to do that.” “Aw, when did you get so soft?”

-Get the hint already!

-Your hand is scribbling down every idea he says, making quips here and there as you both talk extensively about your fake dates would play out. The idea of having you all to himself without his brothers around was already so tempting yet here you were talking about it like it was just a passing thought.

-That wouldn’t do.

-He grabs the top of your pen and smiles when you look up at him in confusion.

“At end of the day, I want to make you feel like the most important person in my world. I don’t want there to be a single doubt in your mind that you belong with me. Pact or no pact, you changed me in ways I couldn’t even fathom, MC, and I am doing everything in my power so that you will see just how important you are to me.”

-Your eyes are staring up at him, wide and with surprise as he dares to cup your cheek.

-He did it. He had gotten through to you! All he had to do was lean in and--!

“Can you repeat that one more time?! Oh my god Luci that was so good! I’m showing this to Satan when I’m done! Thank you so much!”

-Lucifer’s hand drops to his lap as he watches you pick yourself up and run out of his study, his fist clenching in his hand as he thought of just how blind you could be for not seeing what he had tried to convey with those cliched words! Of all the humans--!

-He stops as he hears your giggles outside of the hallway, unclenching his fist and sighing as he tries to look at the positives.

-There had been a flush on your cheeks, of that he was sure. Which meant that in some way...his words had made an impact. He hoped it would take just a few more cheesy lines for you to fall for him.

”Mammon!!!!”

-From the top of his head to the tip of his toes, Mammon could feel himself shiver as you called out his name. Ever since he made that pact the way you would call out his name would send a pleasant shiver down his spine as he turned to greet you.

-Levi told him that you had been looking for him and he had practiced his greeting at least five times to make him look as cool as possible.

“Yo MC! I heard you were looking for the Great Mammon!”

-See? Wasn’t he cool?

-The brothers watched as you didn’t even greet Mammon, you just grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the living room telling everybody that you needed to talk to him privately.

-Privately? As in you two alone? Together?

-Well of course you wanted to talk to him alone! His awesome ways had probably finally gotten through to you and you were about to confess to him. Suck on THAT Lucifer!

-You push him into your room before closing the door and turning to look at him.

“I have something I need to ask you. Do you think you can help?”

-The words escape him before he even thinks them.

“Anything.”

“I want to go out with you. Tonight. Almost like a pretend date.”

-Fireworks go off inside his head as he feels tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. This was real, you were asking him out! You had picked him out of all his brothers despite how many messes he got you in and how much trouble tended to follow him--

-Wait, pretend?

-You proceed to show off your little book of writings, explaining to him that you had gotten stuck in trying to describe a hidden date between the protagonist and the love interest.

“They are trying to hide the fact they are dating from everybody so that they won’t get in trouble. I figured that a human and a demon going on a date is already somewhat of stigma as it is so I just want to see how it feels so I can describe it better.”

-He can’t really describe the sadness that he feels when you tell him it would all be pretend. Too much for dropping Grimm on wishing wells. He was going to go back and fish them all out tomorrow. What a letdown!

-Here he was, the GREAT Mammon letting a human toy with his heart like this!

“You won’t get in too much trouble if we do this...right?”

-The worry in your voice is what makes him look into your eyes. Your hand was on his as you looked for any signs of discomfort from the Avatar of Greed. Your eyes were entirely on him.

-Mammon’s subconscious: More of that please.

-You looked so worried for his well-being. Mammon had no idea who had told you that humans and demons were not allowed to date but they had clearly lied to you. There was no stigma whatsoever. And in retrospect he should reveal that to you now so that there would be no misinformation on how much he wanted to take you on a not pretend date.

-But all your attention was on him. Your body was facing his way, your hands on his as you licked your lips nervously. More, more, more, more he needed for you to look at him more--!

“Tch. Making such a complicated request. You could really get me in trouble for this, MC!” “You’re right, I shouldn’t push it--” “But I guess if you are asking me, I could spare a couple hours...for you.”

-You both share a smile as you hug him close, his arms wrapping around you tight as he tries to keep his smile from breaking out into full blown giggles.

-This worked out for him as well! He was going to give you the best date of your human life so you would have no choice but to fall for him! You better get ready!

-You wrote some fiction, he wrote TSL fanfiction, Levi was probably already aware of your talent once he asked to beta one of his other works and you came back not just with some beta but with some actual USEFUL feedback unlike Satan going on about his spelling mistakes. -So you are already in his room when you ask for his help, grinning as you hold up the small ideas that you had written for your proper introduction into the TSL fandom.

“I want to write an AU about Henry and the Lord of Shadows in an arranged marriage!”

-The premise was simple. You wanted to write about the Lord of Shadows and his Henry having to marry each other in order to bring peace to both of their kingdoms. The marriage proposition was sudden and each of the seven brothers was against it but you wanted to show just how much Henry was willing to sacrifice to help the people who he cared about the most.

-And you loved drama like this.

-You hold up your book as you keep ranting to Levi, the other caught up in your plot as he closed his eyes in order to better imagine it.

“And I want a moment where the Lord of Shadows tells Henry that he doesn’t have to do this. That he wants him to be happy and doesn’t want him to be stuck with a reclusive Lord for all his life.”

-Of course, of course. The Lord of Shadows had always hoped for Henry’s happiness and he had also sacrificed a great many of his previous ways in order to gain his best friend’s praise! Levi was proud, you understood these characters so well! So he pipes in with his own thoughts.

“I bet Henry turns to him and asks why he is so against the idea! It would push the Lord of Shadows to confess that he has secretly longed for Henry’s affection and attention all this time!”

-You both grin before you stand up, putting on a fake sad face as you take Levi’s hand in yours before pressing them to your chest.

“Am I not worthy to be your spouse? Do you hate the idea of marrying me that much?”

-Levi is caught up in the moment that he doesn’t even notice how close you two are, instead moving even closer as he cupped your cheek.

“You? Not worthy? It is I who is not worthy of you. After all you have done...can I be selfish enough to call you mine?”

-Oh this was practically writing itself! You really hoped that Levi remembered some of these lines. You pull away from his touch dramatically before sighing as you decide that this scene would be a good catalyst moment for a confession.

“Have you ever thought of me that way? More than what we have now? I’m embarrassed to admit it but...I have on many occasions longed for something more.”

-Levi’s expression softens in a way you haven’t seen before, keeping a hold on your hands as he follows up with you seamlessly.

“If I told you about my fantasies...about the deep need I feel to keep you away from prying eyes and hoping that yours would remain on me despite the others who so badly wish for your hand. Would you still see me in such high regard?”

-Shit he was good. The prying eyes bit was perfect! Now to end it with a bang! You feel Levi pull you by your waist so you are pressed against his chest, eyes looking down at you as if begging for your reply. So you do what you have read in many other books and take his face in your hands.

“Keep me. Forever.”

-You both stay that way for a few seconds before you pull away and let out a giddy squeal, rushing over to your book and writing down the lines that you could remember, gushing about how Levi had just given you the best ending ever.

-What you didn’t see was the poor demon standing there, arms still pretending to hold someone as the spell broke for him slowly. He needed to process just what the hell just happened.

-He had held your hands, touched you, had you close enough that he could feel you against him and you hadn’t even moved away! Levi could still see how warm your hands were on his cheeks and the words that you had said to him were now slowly coming back to him as he remembered his embarrassing replies!

-You jump and turn when you hear a clatter behind you, turning around to see that Levi had fainted and was now slumped against one of his many manga bookshelves, face all red and a dopey smile on his lips as he repeated your words over and over.

-If you had a writing buddy in Levi, then you got a plot bunny buddy with Satan.

-With the amount of books that he has read and the number of genres he is into, you are surprised that he finds your ideas mildly interesting. They were all just cliches and purely for your enjoyment so when he asked you if he could read some of what you had written you were too shocked to notice that he had already taken the book from your backpack.

“A love story...interesting.”

-You two were in the library, looking for a certain book about black magic casting as well as some examples of ritual circles that you needed to complete for your next assignment. Or rather you were looking for the books, he was just following close behind you as he read your latest entry.

“How are you stuck in this scene?” “Huh?” “How the main character meets the second love interest. It’s pretty obvious.”

-Well excuse you for having writer’s block. You know that he was trying to be helpful but his help always came with some sort of sarcastic twinge that, while endearing during some situations, was incredibly annoying when he was criticizing your writings. You turn back to look at him as you stop at the spot the book was supposed to be in.

“I haven’t necessarily fallen in love with anyone lately, you know! It’s too specific a feeling!”

-Satan’s eyes take in the way you tip-toe to try and reach the book, cursing under your breath as you struggled to get it from the highest shelf. Devildom libraries were notoriously famous for having ridiculously large bookshelves and only a ghost attendant would be able to help you. He looks down at your book and then back at the small scene before smiling as he snaps the book shut.

-Surely a bit of inspiration is all you needed, correct?

-You feel a hand on your lower back, another brushing the hand reaching out for the book and grabbing it for you. Satan smiles as he holds out the book to you.

“Black magic casting...and you needed something about ritual circles, right? It seems the perfect book is right next to you.”

-He ‘accidentally’ brushes your cheek when reaching out for the book behind you, humming for a moment before he puts it back and looks down at you without moving his arm out of the way. Satan had just effectively trapped you in a rather flawlessly executed Kabedon.

“...Satan...the book…” “It wasn’t the right one. Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to get you in this position.”

-Your eyes were shining, the book was pressed right against your chest, he could even see the small blush adorning your face as the situation became quite clear to you. Now he wouldn’t tell you that he had practiced this sort of scenario by himself in his room just in case you ever asked him for help finding a book, better for you to believe that this had all been just a ‘happy’ accident.

“You are looking at me so seriously, MC.” “I know what you are doing.”

-He dares to move closer, his shadow casting over you as if to hide you from prying eyes. If you made the first move, there would be no one stopping him.

“Yeah?” “This would be perfect! A library setting! Gives me a chance to make the character like a cool librarian type!”

-Satan stays silent as you grab the books you need and snatch your notebook from his hand, stating that you were going to check these out immediately and then head home. He turns back to look at the place you were just standing at, the place where you had been completely at his mercy.

-Dammit, he should have blocked the other side too.

-Asmo was ecstatic when you asked him for his book collection.

-It annoyed him to no end when people thought that the only way he consumed his erotica was through personal experience and porn. In his opinion, after personal experience, the best way to enjoy his usual favourite activity was reading erotica. The descriptions, to get into the thoughts of the inner characters and seeing how they essentially lose their minds to the pleasure. It was thrilling.

-So when you come knocking at his door one night and ask for one of the books you usually catch him reading, he is both excited and curious.

“Which one do you want darling? I have the first volume of ‘Eternal Dom Love’, ‘Baring My Soul to a Demon’, ‘Captive Human’--” “You have anything like...with dirty talk?

-Oh now he is really excited and curious.

-He looks around his small library and pulls out the book he thinks is best for what you desired, holding it out for you to take but pulling it back quickly with a grin. Asmo wasn’t going to just let you walk away after telling him something so interesting~

“I’m a bit possessive about my books, MC~ What are you going to use it for? Recreational reasons?”

-You blush and cover your face with your hands, not really embarrassed for asking but instead embarrassed that you were about to tell him what you were going to do with it. But you steel yourself, you had heard Asmo flirt in the club before and from how quickly his dates had insisted on taking it to a more ‘private’ area, you knew he had the thing that you desperately needed.

“I…” “Yes?” “I’m-trying-to-write-the-prelude-to-a-sex-scene-in-one-of-my-stories-but-I-have-no-idea where-to-start-so-I-need-material!”

-Asmo blinks before grinning as he got in your face, pushing the book into your hands as he asked you what the story was about, who were the characters, had you based them off of anybody and just what kind of sex scene where you planning?

-He had no idea you had that kind of talent, where had you been hiding that all this time?

-You slowly explain the plot to him, getting a bit more into it as you see how much attention Asmo is paying to your every word. Out of all of the brothers you didn’t expect him to be so interested in one of your stories! The scene you have in mind is somewhat clear to you so you try to explain to him just what you think is missing.

“It is a demon and a human. They are clearly not supposed to be doing this. Yet that is--” “What makes it all the more appealing.”

-Asmo had played this out perfectly given the little time he had to work with. The more you talked, the closer he got to you. The closer he got, the more you moved away subconsciously. Your body instinctively wanted to make room for him and give him his space but you let out a small ‘meep’ when the back of your knees hit the side of his hanging chair and you find yourself sitting down as he kneels in front of you.

“They both know that if they take such a intimate step with one another they might not be able to go back to how they used to be before. Everything will change.”

-You nod as Asmo touches your leg, hand moving towards your thigh as he rests his chin on your knees.

“But what is so wrong with change? You said the demon is a charmer so they would want to charm them throughout the whole thing. It would start out slow, teasing even, probably testing out the waters as they see what their human likes and doesn’t like."

-He scoots closer and traces your fingers, the digits wrapped tightly around his book as he continues..

“They would eventually lose control, wouldn’t they? The passion would be too much for them to handle and they both would lose themselves to their lust. Although it wouldn’t be just lust…”

-Asmo looks up to meet your eyes, straightening out as he leans in closer to the point that you are shutting your eyes and leaning in as well--it’s not that you haven’t had experience with kisses but surely the demon of lust’s kiss would spark something inside your head--!

-You open your eyes when you feel the book leaving your hands.

“I changed my mind. I think this would be a much better title for what you are looking for, Sweetie.”

-He holds out your hand for you to stand up and you almost want to ask Solomon to cast some sort of spell that would make you forget everything that happened in these moments. You closed your eyes like some highschooler waiting for their first kiss--you were better than that!

-You thank him and make your way out of his room, running back to yours as fast as you can without noticing Asmo’s mischievous smile as he waved goodbye. It was always good to play the long game~

-You two had stopped at Madame’s Scream because Beel had complained about being hungry yet again. Besides you both had done rather well on an examination so--why not celebrate?

-You only had a small fizzy drink while Beel had ordered himself something called ‘The Herculean Parfait’, something about it holding 25 scoops of ice cream plus whip cream, nuts and some waffle cones at the bottom. Now the waiter had brought out two spoons but it was clear that Beel would only be needing one.

-This was rather normal for you two, Beel eating his fill while you stared at the blank page of your small notebook. You were trying to write a cute scene with a couple sharing a dessert at a coffee shop where they first met but you were struggling to think of a fluffy scenario.

-Was feeding your partner considered cheesy nowadays? You tap your page twice before looking at Beel. The second spoon remained untouched, some ice cream specks stuck to the shiny, concave surface as the Demon of Gluttony continued his ice cream carnage. You grab the spoon and take some from the side that had yet to be eaten.

“Hey Beel”

-The demon stops eating and looks at you as you hold out the spoon to him, his hunger suddenly stopping as he looks at the sugary contents stacked high on the spoon you were holding out for him.

“Say aah!”

-Beel blinks but doesn’t think twice the moment you give him the command, opening his mouth and eating the sugary confection off the spoon, his smile growing as you let out a small giggle.

“Did it taste good?" “Mmm~!" “I’m glad.”

-He abandoned his own spoon as you scooped up some more, opening his mouth as you kept on feeding him. Beel had no idea what had brought this on or why you were suddenly feeding him. It wasn’t like he was complaining, however. Yes your pace was slow and such a giant parfait would surely melt with how slow you were going but he didn’t care, instead opening his mouth wide as you kept on feeding him.

“So Beel…” “Mmm?" “Does it feel any different when I feed you?”

-Beel frowns when the spoon stops but decides to answer your question so that he could go back to eating. Why would it feel any different? Well, it somewhat did? He didn’t know how to describe it but he does feel a lot fuller than before. He is actually tasting the food as you take your time scooping up some more. He had picked out so many different flavors and he could taste almost every single one.

“I wouldn’t say different...but food certainly tastes better when you give it to me.”

-You immediately stop and put the spoon down, smiling as you start to writing down what Beel had just said. You could essentially build an entire scene around that! What a good idea coming here--

“MC?”

-Your pen stops as you look at Beel, your pen falling from your hands as you see the puppy dog look he was giving you. He looks at your hand and then at the spoon.

“Why did you stop?”

-Beel smiles happily as you go right back to what you were doing, the notebook forgotten as you continue to spoil your demon. You had a feeling that this wouldn’t be the last time you were doing this.

-Belphie yawned as he cuddled you closer, your hands moving so they would be wrapped around his neck but still holding onto your phone. He closes his eyes and tries to drift off but frowns when he hears your fingers tapping on your screen. He could probably sleep through the sound but he didn’t want to.

“Turn around.” “Huh?” “Just turn around.”

-You do as he says, now pressed against his chest as you continue to type. Belphegor was close to falling asleep, pressing his nose against your shoulder as he breathes you in---

Tap tap tap tap

“Fuck this.”

-He grabs your phone and drops it off the bed, your protests being muffled as he wraps his arms around your neck to pull you close. You tap his arms twice before wiggling out of his hold, sitting up on the bed and looking at him while he glared back at you.

-What did you think you were doing typing away on your phone? Belphegor never really asked you for much but when it was cuddle time it was cuddle time. You weren’t supposed to do anything *but* cuddle during cuddle time so you clearly needed to stop being distracted.

“What do you think you are doing?” “Taking care of your distraction.”

-You both stare at each other as he sits up as well, clearly letting you know that if you were to go and dig for your phone he wasn’t going to let you. At this point, it really was useless to argue with Belphegor. As the youngest, he was used to getting what he wanted with little setback. So you lay back down, ignoring the triumphant smile Belphegor gave you as he went right back to cuddling you.

“I was writing something.” “It can wait till later…”

-Belphegor yawns and wraps his leg around you, ignoring the little ‘hmphs’ you were giving him as well as the words you were muttering to yourself. But what good would it be if you weren’t cuddling up to him as well so he decided to give in as well.

“What were you writing about?”

-Oh this was new. You turn to face him, talking about the scene you were working on. This couple had just had an exhausting day and they were eager to lay in bed together but their work or other responsibilities were keeping them from cuddling at night. You explained how you wanted to describe the exhaustion one was feeling from not having their partner with them.

-The demon of Sloth hummed when you mentioned how tired the character was and speaking up about how he knew how they felt. You chuckle and mention that it seemed that everything made Belphegor exhausted nowadays. He shakes his head, opening his eyes so he could look at you.

“No. I mean that everything gets heavier when you’re not with me.”

-You try to cut it in and ask him what he is talking about but he beats you to it.

“I get more energy when you are around. I actually want to do things aside from sleeping. “Are you saying you like hanging out with me more than sleeping?” “Don’t push it, MC.”

-Both of you laugh, your body cuddling closer to the demon as you yawn. A part of you was still annoyed that Belphegor had shoved your phone to the floor because now would have been a prime time to write that he had just said but as your eyes grew heavier you just hoped that you would remember it by the time you woke up.

-Belphegor opens his eyes once he feels your breathing evening out, smiling as he leans in close and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“You weren’t far off...I do like you more than sleeping...sometimes…”

-He yawns and wraps an arm around your waist. What a good idea it was to lock the door so none of his brothers would bother you two. Your nights were his, after all.

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me headcanons #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #//HA YOU ALL GOT FOOLED #//PRANKED TM

[eldritch-elrics]

more svsss notes! from “shen qingqiu’s short but aggravating time in jail” to “shen qingqiu Fucking Dies” :]

...this got long. oops

so the book does this a lot but i’m always a huge fan of when a character (in this case little palace mistress) spouts off a cliche and sqq internally goes “oh my god here we go again. cringe.” it’s like... the reader gets to experience the drama of the cliche but also laugh at it

airplane has gay and homophobic vibes. or like...... araki jojo vibes. it’s so funny

the system keeps forcing sqq into plots that were originally meant for binghe’s harem members, which is of course hilarious (more so now that binghe’s not a teen anymore) - but i’m thinking about the fact that the system is literally powered by binghe. i wonder if binghe’s feelings are subconsciously influencing the system/the rest of the plot? like we know he has plot armor; does he also have enough influence to shift the story’s genre without knowing it? shit like this is why i love this novel. i’m really curious if it’ll be addressed

more of sqq being absolutely terrible at communication <3 please sir. say your FEELINGS. i’m sure you could figure out some way to explain without revealing that you know how the og plot goes...

another thing i find super interesting about sqq’s character is how sure he is that lbh’s gonna turn out how he did in og pidw. he’s just refusing to accept that lbh’s changed in any way, or that he cares about sqq at all anymore. there’s some line somewhere where sqq is like “oh no, being nice to him just made it worse... i’m stuck with him hating me even more now...” like NO. you’re just refusing to see all the signs of lbh’s hidden feelings. love unreliable narrators lmao

fate/destiny is such a big theme i keep noticing stuff about it

the system giving him a multiple choice answer to binghe’s “do you regret it” question, dating sim style, is of course hilarious, but it’s also a fascinating moment for a couple reasons. first, it shows how much of a crutch the system is for sqq - sqq’s leaning on it to fix his problems instead of actually putting in the work himself to get better at interpersonal communication. i hope that in a key moment later he’ll choose to defy the system. i think that would be a nice pivot point for three themes: first, accepting that sometimes he needs to fix problems on his own, without any omniscient outside guidance, second, accepting that not everything is written in stone (either by airplane or by the system), and third, recognizing that binghe and the rest are “real people” (ymmv on whether or not you think they are, but i think this is where i think sqq’s arc is headed) rather than video game objects to be manipulated.

i think that some shifts in his attitude do start to happen in chap 43 though when he sacrifices himself

back to slightly less analytical observations! sqq getting his clothes torn up. oh my god. and lbh’s REACTION...

dying at shang qinghua’s “coded” letter and the fact that its content basically amounts to “i fucked up, please escape from jail asap thanks bro”

gongyi xiao my BELOVED that prison break was pretty great. also i am so fucking sad about him. binghe WHY

so lbh wasn’t actually a disciple of meng mo? huh...

seems like the words of sqq’s vengeful ex weren’t completely true. i very much doubt the trial’s gonna happen now but i bet this will come up later

seriously losing it at sqq’s tavern disguise? smeared his face with dirt and drew on whiskers?? CATBOY SHEN QINGQIU???

love this development ning yingying’s gotten. the disciples’ relationships with their shizun in general are so cute omg

liu qingge keeps saving sqq from situations and it’s very fun. bros :)

also how lqg was like SO down to fight binghe at the end of that chapter?? king shit

binghe held out his hand to sqq when they were on the roof..... what was he planning to do.........

oh my god that whole confrontation. what is it with mxtx and Climatic Fights On Roofs

here is where the fate theme gets REALLY clear. sqq uses “we can’t avoid fate” as an excuse/coverup but lbh is like “no. was it fate that made you do all those horrible things to me?? i’ve decided that fate doesn’t actually exist. fuck the world i do what i want!”

which like. YEAH. protag energy. the rules of the world don’t apply to lbh so much do they???

im so excited for these themes to be explored more

also like. hell yeah. binghe finally sharing his emotions at a super climactic moment

and then sqq SACRIFICES HIMSELF...

god damn.

it’s a bit out of nowhere but also like. i kinda love it? because sqq knows he can’t talk his way out of this. he can’t say “hey it wasn’t me who abused you/made the choice to push you off the cliff.” so he goes and does the most drastic action he can think of. and it WORKS

now initially i was a lil mad about lbh changing his mind so quickly but i actually think it fits for 2 reasons. first, he’s a webnovel character. they do that. second, his mind has just been cleared of xin mo’s influence, which had been plaguing him during his most angry/violent moments, so with all that anger suddenly gone it makes sense for his feelings to shift. and deep down, he really does care about sqq!

sqq fuckin DEAD and finally binghe is sharing his feelings,,

i do think that lbh should be allowed to feel mad about what og!sqq did to him in the past though? like. it was wrong, and though sqq may feel like he’s made up for it, i do think he owes lbh a proper apology and (if possible) an explanation. there’s much more work (and communication) to be done between them but i’m glad they’re finally getting somewhere...

but of course i don’t think they’re gonna be seeing each other again anytime soon :]

#svsss #svsss spoilers #my post #analysis #oh god this is so fucking long. sorry #after i finish the novel i might come back to some of this analysis and clean it up and post it as its own thing #because i have a lot of thoughts #finn reads scum villain

[g-on-ef]

Hey if you’re still doing that 50 cliches and prompts, perhaps we can get a crumb of #23 for Blitzo x Striker? 👉👈

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A\N: Nonnie you ask for crumbs and I'll give you the whole bread ^^ also if you guys want send me some Striker x Blitz prompts of your own or one from this list ^^

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#23: “Just tell why you did it!” “Because I’m in love with you, okay!”

Striker was fighting to remain conscious, the past thirty minutes have not been kind to him...especially with the bitch Stella trying to get back at him for shooting her.

Earlier today Striker got a call from Stella to come to her as she had a new plan that she wanted Striker to carry out, a plan that could finally break Stolas.

When he came to her palace Stella told him her plan.

“Why kill the cheater when you can break his spirit,”

“Don’t you already do that every time he’s reminded that he’s marry to you?”

Stella glared at the imp, the one thing she hated about him is his mouth and his constant snide remarks.

“I will ignore what you just said, now onto the plan, the best way to get back at Stolas is to kill the most important person to him in all of Hell,”

“Octavia?”

“Touch her and I will kill you myself,”

“Well you did said you don’t care who I have to go through to kill him so technically-”

Her hand slammed on the desk she was sitting behind.

“Touch my daughter and I will put you through such agony that’ll make Lucifer himself coward in fear,”

Striker bit his tongue, he knew when he had pushed his luck and he could see he was pushing the last of Stella’s buttons.

“No the one I want you to kill is the piece of shit that ruined everything, the thing that Stolas continues to see, I want you to kill Blitzo,”

The minute that name slipped out of her mouth Striker did not hesitate to take his blessed tip revolver and shoot her with it.

Her guard was down so she didn’t have the time to move until it was to late, the gun hit her right in the torso going right through her, paralyzing her.

“Ahh!” she shouted, Striker was getting ready to shot her again when the door open and someone grabbed him or try to.

Striker was able to handle the bodyguards that came in, being a wrath imp mixed with Lilith’s bloodline gave him enough strength to beat the shit outta the guards...but not enough to defend himself from Stella who had her own gun and shot him, her aim wasn’t good so all she was able to do was shoot his shoulder.

Striker screamed as he felt the pain, before he could do anything, one Stella’s guards pulled out an angel weapon and stabbed him with it.

The pain was the unbearable, falling to his knees his attacker began to stab his back making the assassin scream.

“Stop!”

The attacker turned to his queen.

“Taking him to the dungeon, I will deal with him there,”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Striker held Blitz closer to his body, he’s never been this gentle with someone before. Never took his time with someone and enjoyed their body.

Never appreciated every sound his partner made or the expressions they made whenever he was pleasuring them.

Normally he would fuck them as fast as he could and leave, with Blitz he couldn’t do that.

The past three nights have been amazing, ordinarily Striker didn’t do this he didn’t try to get to know people, hell he tried to keep them as far away from him as possible, especially if he was gonna go through with his plans he couldn’t afford to have any weaknesses, nothing the overlords or royals can use against him.

And yet here he was, pleasuring Blitz, slowly moving in and out of him.

The feeling of his walls around his cock made Striker groan in pleasure, he took in every moan, whimper, whatever sound came out of Blitz he listen to it and tried to engraved it into his memory, knowing this will be the last time they ever get to be like this.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He opened his eyes and watched as Stella glared at him, her servants pushed her around in her wheelchair as she stared at him with such hatred that Striker was surprised that the bitch didn’t have the ability to turn him to stone or kill him with her glare.

“Why the fuck are you protecting him?! He chose my good for nothing piece of shit of a husband and you still protect him?! He doesn’t care about you!”

Striker stared at her, he knew what she was trying to do, his sperm donor always told him people would say anything to hurt you so if they aim low than you aim lower.

“It pisses you off doesn’t,”

Stella glared at him before Striker continued,

“That one lowly imp managed to capture not one but two powerful beings attention, your husband and me, Lilith’s bastard. One tiny lowly imp has two of your puppets wrapped around his finger. Someone who’s supposed to be superior than imps, and yet every dick that you want to be fucked by is either getting fucked or fucking the imp that you hate,”

Stella’s cool facade fell as she lifted her fist and punched his stomach, the punch shouldn’t have hurt but because Stella’s rings were made of angel weapons it definitely was going to leave a mark.

“Kill him, make sure he doesn’t make it out of this alive!”

Striker closed his eyes ready to accept death and Her embrace, the last memory he had was the last night he and Blitz made love to one another, the night were Blitz and he curled around each other silently promising each other a piece of their heart to one another.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When he opened his eyes he was met with a bright light he blinked trying to clear the bluriness of his vision.

“Am I dead?”

“No but you’re gonna wish you were when I am done with you,”

Striker turned his head to the voice that sound awfully like Blitz’s.

Oh, it is Blitz and he was angry.

“Uhh...hi?”

“Hi! HI?! You’re ass has been lying in this bed for the past 22 hours we almost lost you and all you have to say is HI? YOU FUCKING DICK!”

Striker lifted himself up and watched as Blitz continued to glare at him.

“Do you have any fucking idea how scared I was! Fuck if it weren’t for the mating bite and Lady Lilith helping us we wouldn’t have saved you!”

Oh...right...he forgot that he gave Blitz a mating bite.

“Blitz-”

“Do you have any idea what was going through my mind when I felt your pain? What I was feeling when I heard your screams?!”

The city imp got up from the chair he was sitting on,

“I almost lost you! I almost lost the first person to show me respect, to remind me what it was like to be loved and all you have to fucking say is hi!”

Striker looked at Blitz who was crying now,

Striker grabbed Blitz and pulled him on his lap as the city imp cried into his chest.

“Lady Lilith told me, told me that bitch tortured you because she wanted me dead! Why didn’t you tell her about me?! Why didn’t you just tell her where I was at so that she could’ve let you go?!”

Hearing that made Striker growled.

“You fucker you really think I would let her hurt you?!” he pulled back and grabbed the imp by his shoulders.

“I’ll die before I’ll let anyone touch you!”

“Don’t fucking say that! You almost die because of me!”

“And I’ll do it again if I have to!”

Blitz was getting mad, he didn’t want Striker to die because of him hell he didn’t want Striker to waste his time with someone like him, he deserved better and yet Striker nearly died because of him, and here he was telling him he would do it again without hesitations.

“FUCK! Why?! Just tell me why the fuck would you do that?! Why would you sacrifice yourself for me?!”

“Because I’m in love with you!”

Striker’s eyes widen as did Blitz’s. Fuck that was not supposed to come out of his mouth, hell he was never supposed to tell Blitz that he loved him, that was a secret he was going to take to his grave and yet...and yet he didn’t regret saying, he didn’t regret telling Blitz the truth, his city imp deserved to hear those words.

“You...you dickwad no you don’t! You don’t love me! You can’t!”

Blitz curled in on himself not sure if he could believe what Striker was saying. He couldn’t be in love with him...right?

Striker wasn’t surprised that Blitz didn’t believed him, from the time they spent together Striker knew that Blitz had low self esteem and when Striker listened to him he thought he was playing with him but was surprised to learn that Striker genuinely cared for what he had to say, that he paid attention and wanted to learn more about him.

He had to tell him he meant it when he wanted to know more about Blitz even when he didn’t believe him.

“I’m in love with you,” he took Blitz’s face in his hands and place a kiss on his forehead, cheeks, the scars on his face.

“I love you Blitz, I’ve been in love with you since I heard about you,”

Blitz looked at him, before wrapped his arms around Striker’s neck and kissed him. the cowboy and the city imp kissed as if it would’ve been their last day in hell.

In a way it almost was, Striker thanked  La Santa Muerte , for watching over him and making sure he returned to the one he loved.

Blitz was thankful towards Satan that Striker was alive and that he was here with him, the two pulled back for some much needed air, Blitz rested his head on Striker’s chest wanting to listen to his favorite sound in Hell. Striker’s heart beat.

“Promise me, promise me that you’ll stay by my side forever,”

“I promise you forever Blitz, when time wants to tear us apart I’ll stay by you, I promise you always; never will I wander from you never will I leave you; I promise you eternity, that even when our time comes and we are reincarnated into the next life I will always find you. I promise to love you Blitz my heart, soul, and body is yours forever and always and way pass eternity,”

“Wow...” Blitz pulled back and looked into Striker’s eyes.

“That was some fancy words you just used,”

Striker just smiled as he pulled Blitz closer to his body.

“For you and only you,”

#striker x blitzo #BlitzStrike #answers asked #anonymous #anon #Helluva Boss #helluva blitzo #helluva boss striker #helluva striker #helluva boss blitzo

[notnctu]

to jaehyun, my first love ♡

To All The J’s I’ve Loved Before Series by notnctu ♡ jung jaehyun x fem!reader ♡ genre - fluff, slight angst ♡ wc - 2.1k ♡ warnings - explicit language ♡ synopsis - in which Mark accidentally sets you up on a date with your first love and ex-boyfriend, Jung Jaehyun ♡ taglist - @colpen​ ; @cestmoncoeur​ ; @hyucksberry​ ♡ a/n - i had to repost bc tumblr keeps randomly deleting our shit omggg pls ;-; let us know if you want to be on the taglist for the next ones!

Jaehyun,

I’ve never done this before, but the feelings you give me are too intense to not write it out. You’re like every dream come to life. A fairytale that came alive from the books. You remind me of a noble, quiet prince riding on his high horse. It’s not subtle, but not too grand to be overwhelming.

I think I love you. You’d be rolling your eyes at that word. It’s high school, what could I possibly know about love, right? And no, it’s not about you being my first boyfriend and my first kiss. It’s much more than those mundane things.

It’s the skipping of my heart when I’m the reason behind the dimples appearing. Or the butterflies I feel knowing that you, Jung Jaehyun, likes me back. I’m truly still in shock that you’re dating me. There are about two hundred people in this entire school and I’m the one who you send goodmorning and goodnight texts to.

My favorite day is still the day you asked me to be your’s. Cliche, whatever. But I’m not the only one who gushed at the sight of you holding the bouquet of my favorite flowers. Or the way you nervously couldn’t look me in the eye. You are the sweetest boy that has graced my life. I don’t know how I managed to get so lucky.

It’s a lie for me to not admit that I do feel insecure at times about our relationship. You’re not one to express your emotions or thoughts, you tell me it’s your actions. As your slow, yet improving partner, I am currently mindful of every action, like when you brush my hair out of my face because you want to get a good look at me. To see the real me. I like that the most.

Do guys feel these same strange intense feelings? Like my heart bursts thinking about your shy glances and your fingers tangled with mine. Whenever you hug me, I feel like I’m holding the very thing that makes me feel alive. I’m experiencing excitement, joy, and a weird burning sensation that spreads across my chest. It’s like we’re living a movie, but it’s better because it’s real life.

You’re the one, Jaehyun. It’s hard to explain and I’m absolutely being dramatic. But it’s not too far fetched. We’re still young, but I can see a future with you and how you want to chase your dreams with someone by your side. Don’t act like you don’t look directly at me when you say that.

Don’t feel pressured, I’m not asking for your hand in marriage just yet. I just have an inexplicable feeling that you’re someone that I’m going to love forever.

In this fairytale, do you believe in forever?

-from your hopeless romantic girlfriend, y/n

If anyone were to be blamed for this very awkward encounter between you and your ex-boyfriend, it would be Mark Lee. He went on for ages, boasting about some hot guy he wanted to set you up with since you had been single for quite a time. He only meant good intentions, so you could stop holding yourself in your apartment alone during the weekends.

And there was no possible way for Mark to know that his Jung Jaehyun was the same Jung Jaehyun you dated back in high school. Though, if Mark had been specific by telling you the mystery boy’s name, you wouldn’t have to be standing in front of Jaehyun in a stiff atmosphere intended for a harmonious date.

“I didn’t expect to run into you.” Stupid and you knew, you weren’t the only one who thought so. Jaehyun practically scoffed so loud that it physically pained you. Arms crossed, weight barred on his left leg, eyes rolled all the way to the back of his head. He was definitely expecting someone else who didn’t make a fool out of themselves.

“(Y/N), don’t act like we didn’t apply and commit to the same college. We were bound to see each other in some way.”

“Fine, you’re right. I guess, I didn’t expect it to be like this.” Your eyes diverted shyly to the ground as you played with the ends of your sweet dress. At this point, your bed and pj’s seemed much better than a rekindle of the mess you made.

Jaehyun cursed at Mark underneath his breath before running his hands through his brown locks. There was too much you wished to stare at. Jaehyun still managed to make your heart stop with his attractiveness. Time benefited him more than anyone else you’ve met from your past. Through his changes, there were the similarities you loved: the depth of his dimples, the softness of his skin, the charm with a simple look, the fluffiness of his hair.

He dug his hands into his jean pockets and pursed his lips together before saying, “look, I don’t want to date you again and truthfully, Mark never told me your name when he talked about you, so I don’t know what twisted setup you two planned for this to be.”

Your facial expression reacted before you could collect your thoughts at the harsh rejection, which was a complete spin from when he had first accepted your heart. You were really regretting the pitiful letter sitting in your childhood room at the moment and the fact that he was the first letter.  

“Listen, Mark didn’t mention your name either when he talked about the ‘hot, sweet boy’, so you can kiss my ass if you really think that I purposefully set this up to get back together with you.” Jaehyun’s eyebrow rose and his jaw tightened at your response.

“I’m supposed to believe that this was a mere coincidence or a sickly twisted fate that we ended up together again?”

It was your turn to scoff, roll your eyes, and cross your arms. “Like how I’m supposed to believe you’re the same guy that Mark raves about. You’re far from a kindhearted, wholesome person who volunteers at the dog rescue center and to think, I ever fell for someone who had the potential to be this arrogant!”

A quick spin on your heels sent you dramatically walking off to your car. Though, the sounds of heavy footsteps caught up to you and a hand closed your car door shut before you could step in. “I’m sorry. I haven’t completely forgiven myself and you for the breakup.”

“It happened a long, long time ago.”

“You’re right, but I still beat myself up to this day that our relationship could have been saved if we both didn’t give up.”

Sighing, you held his cheek gently and he faced you with hurt reflecting in his eyes. “We were young and stubborn. We gave up because we didn’t have the emotional capacity to fix it, Jae.”

He lit up at the sound of his nickname and how much he missed hearing it roll off your tongue. It was like a switch flipped on. “Haven’t heard you say my name in a while. I almost forgot how much I loved it.”

The appearance of his dimples and brightening smile caused a disruption of butterflies to swarm in your stomach. This feeling could only be produced by him and no one else. The true holder of your heart has returned and left you a bit unsettled.

If he hasn’t already charmed your pants enough, his cool lean against your car definitely sealed the deal. “Are you flirting with me, Jung Jaehyun?” Your narrowed eyes zoned in on the unmistakable smirk that plastered his face.

His lips rolled together, emphasizing the crescents in his cheeks more. “We can’t let poor Mark down. How about we try going on this date?” He paused to gauge your reaction, “so we don’t have to lie when we report back to him.”

“Fine, for the sake of Mark and because I’ll admit, I did miss your presence.” Every detail reminded him of the most amazing times he spent with you. It was like he was watching one of his favorite films or listening to a forgotten playlist that triggered all kinds of emotions he had felt before.

He jumped off the vehicle with the biggest gleam that was not present earlier. This was the Jaehyun you remember. He couldn’t contain his excitement and oftentimes, only being able to express his emotions through his actions.

“Well, you’re not one who’s hard to miss. I don’t think I can get your smile out of my head for the next few days.” You quietly pondered the thought of how easy this all was for him.

Hours flew by, endlessly chatting away to catch up with each other’s lives and reminiscing the good parts of your relationship. The restaurant had grown empty and quiet, to the point of being kicked out of the establishment. Before either of you could process the mutual feeling of happiness, there was a brief moment of wondering what the next steps of this was. He cleared his throat when you two arrived at your car.

“I had a great time today, Jaehyun.” The sadness in your voice was not unnoticed by him.

“Can I ask why Mark was so persistent in setting us up?” Jaehyun inquired as he took off his jacket to wrap around your shaking, exposed shoulders. His thin shirt blew wildly in the breeze, but he’d rather have you warm and him frozen by the night.

The tiny thanks escaped as a whisper and you hugged his scent tighter. “He just wants me to stop being alone on the weekends because that’s when he goes back home with his family.”

Jaehyun nodded knowingly, “I can still change that for you.”

“Don’t give up your weekends at the shelter for me and it sounds like you already have a lot on your plate.”

He chuckled delightfully and there was hope to hear it again. “I can sacrifice a few hours at the shelter to be with a friend. Plus, you’re important to me and like I said many years before, I want you by my side as I chased my dreams. Look, I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner. I take the responsibility of being bitter over something in the past and tonight really made me realize what all the anger stole from me.”

Jaehyun pulled you into an overdue hug. His cologne engulfed you like old times. “Just to avoid confusion, we aren’t getting back together.. ever.” His chest muffled your words, but he heard you loud and clear.

“There’s not a sliver of hope?” It wasn’t hurt that laced his question, but something light and playful. Jaehyun’s strong arms pulled away, but his hands dropped to hold yours. A small smile rested on his face, his lips looked as tempting as you remembered them to be.

“No, there’s not.” The mood shifted to a more serious atmosphere, but it was finally time to address the elephant in the empty parking lot. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m always going to love you. People don’t call it a first love for nothing. Back when we were still together, and I told you I believed in forever, I meant it. But that doesn’t mean my heart wants you back, I want you to be happy with someone else.”

Jaehyun’s eyes sparkled underneath the dark night sky, but he broke the gaze when he grew shy at how the conversation had turned. A warmth spread across his chest and suffocated him tenderly. “Nice to know that I’m not the only one that still holds you in a special place in my heart. You’re right, my first love is unforgettable. You are unforgettable.”

Warm cheeks and shy, averting eyes wrapped up the date nicely. And all of which was thanks to Mark, who cluelessly set you up with your first love. You coughed to fill the tense air, noticing the goosebumps that rose on his arms. “We should get going, it’s too cold to be standing out here.”

“Right, I don’t want you catching a cold. You know how needy you get when your nose starts dripping uncontrollably.” His laughter mixed with yours as you handed his jacket back to him.

Rolling your eyes, Jaehyun helped you open your car door. “Anyways, are you up for a movie night this weekend?”

“No horror movies unless you want to end up in my arms.” He winked and you punched his arm playfully at his flirty banter.

“Don’t push it, Jae!” You giggled, entering your car to shield from the bitterness that was abandoned to linger in the air.

“Okay, princess. I’ll see you at your castle real soon.” With that, he closed your door and waved a small goodbye. Watching his figure disappear into his own vehicle, you realized the thought that Jaehyun was always the reason you started to love. Even in this reality, he was the reason you believed in a forever.

#nct scenarios #jaehyun #jaehyun scenarios #jung jaehyun scenario #nct #nct jaehyun #jung jaehyun scenarios #nct imagines #nct soft hours #nct 127 #nct reactions #nct 127 scenarios #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct u #kpop scenarios #kpop scenario #nct fluff #jaehyun imagines #to all the j's i've loved before

[kyndaris]

Braving Tried and True JRPG Tropes

When Bravely Default II was released, one of the first reviews I stumbled upon spoke about the person’s disappointment. Some of it came down to personal taste: the art style. Others were a bit more valid: the weak narrative and carbon copies of protagonists from other games. While the fan in me wanted to contest many of their claims, the more I played of the latest Japanese role-playing game (JRPG) from Square-Enix, I could not deny that there was a lot of tropes being used to prop up the strong gameplay loop and to give players the chance to try out the different jobs on offer. Still, many of these grips failed to deter me too much from my playing of the game. After sinking a hefty amount of time into it, I was able to push my way through the multiple endings and give Seth, Gloria, Elvis and Adelle the happy ending that they deserved.

As the faithful readers of my blog, you should know that I bought Bravely Default II while on a road trip with family. Though I should have been luxuriating in the February sun, I was much too engrossed in my Nintendo Switch to pay much mind to my surroundings. And even if Zac Efron or Chris Hemsworth had walked past, I’d probably barely bat an eyelid.

The first few hours of Bravely Default II had me busy reengaging with the mechanics that I knew from the first two games on the Nintendo DS and Octopath Traveler. Considering my familiarity with old-school JRPGs, it came as no surprise that I quickly managed to level up Freelancer as I cut a swathe through the grass surrounding the starting city of Halyconia. In fact, I realised quite quickly that the best way to get good items without paying a cent for them was to play the game like Link, eager to find rupees in the bushes. By the time I fought Dag and Selene and Horten, they went down like flies even though I hadn’t even bothered to change from my default jobs. 

Truth be told, when I read about the difficulties many people supposedly had with these earlier battles, I was scratching my head. Perhaps it was simply the method I play the games - grinding out each job to my satisfaction that had simplified what should have been difficult. On a side note, I thought that the job levelling was much better balanced than Yakuza: Like a Dragon and an infinitely more fun experience because of it. It allowed me to experiment with my team and find the best balance for taking on the various mobs in a given area.

The only time I actually prepared properly for a fight was when I took down Adam and the last few bosses. But even they were a considerable breeze when one had access to so many abilities. Paralysing everyone that stood in my way, inflicting poison and contagion, then having a maxed out Freelancer with Thief skills using Godspeed Strike? Child’s play.

Now, onto the weaker elements of Bravely Default II. The various plot-holes and unexplored characterisation of the heroes and villains. While Elvis and Lonsdale stood out to me, many of the others could have been interchanged with someone else and I would have barely been able to tell the difference were it not for their individual Asterisk attire.

Let’s start with Seth, shall we? Our main protagonist despite the ensemble set-up could have been ripped from any Japanese role-playing game. The ones he reminded me strongly of were Tidus and Vaan. Tidus, because he was a fish-out-of-water that had fallen in love with the woman that would have to sacrifice her life to bring peace back to the world. Vaan due to the fact that he never truly stood out and was simply part of the story just because of Wind Crystal shenanigans. Later on, he was made a bit more special due to his status as someone that had come from the Outer Seas.

In a way, it was a clever voice direction for Seth to be the only character with an American accent. This helped paint the fact that he was different from the others. Still, it would have been much better if we could have seen what his life had been like prior to the events that brought him to waking up on a beach in Halyconia. And while there are scenes in several sidequests that explore a little of Seth’s backstory, there’s little to sink one’s teeth into.

Gloria, on the other hand, is very much a stereotypical princess of a mystical kingdom. Though the voice actress is very good at expressing the pain she has gone through as one of the sole survivors of Musa’s destruction, I feel like it would have connected better with players to have seen the invasion and perhaps played a small part in controlling her escape. Though these things are just little nitpicks, it adds to the characters and allows people to emotionally invest in the happenings of the world. 

That, in and of itself, is probably Bravely Default II’s key problem. The fact that it tells rather than shows.

Elvis, of course, is the star of the show. His quirky traits, affable nature make him a clear favourite and much more human than his other counterparts. The narrative around Wiswald was also great example of fleshing out his past and the people he knows. It is much more personal, pulling on our heartstrings to learn about the death of a young child, and thus carries more weight than the water shortage in Savalon or the fairy hunting in Rimedhal, which was clearly meant to mirror witch trials. 

While Folie, the main antagonist behind the happenings in Wiswald, could have been better written and with a more tangible tie to the people of Wiswald, the fact that she manipulated Roddy, Lily and poor Galahad with visions of the dead Mona meant that a bit of pathos was achieved when she was finally brought down.

Adelle, a little cliche, was still an intriguing character that rounded out the team (I still can’t place her accent). The reveal that she was actually a fairy was a delight. It was also nice that her goals also aligned with the main narrative of stopping the Night’s Nexus, instead of being as superfluous as Elvis trying to solve the riddle of a book he had in his possession or Seth just tagging along for the ride. 

As for the foes that we faced? Most of them seemed like excuses to dress up how players obtained their Asterisks. Many of them seemed like caricatures. And honestly, Martha’s excuse to fight the Heroes of Light was abysmal. But, of course, the developers needed a way for players to experience what it might be like fighting a foe that had the Dragoon Asterisk before they could use it for their own.

I will admit, the story just felt like a vehicle to pick up each Asterisk along the way. Oft times, I had to wonder why so many of these people felt compelled to stand in the way of the Heroes of Light. And while it would have been much better to have a more personal reason for why we fought these enemies besides the fact that ‘Oh, they have an Asterisk and something, something Crystal!’ I still managed to push my way through.

Still, the fact that Dag and Selene managed to snag more character development in the sidequests was great. Gladys’s attempt at atonement and her brother’s grief was also good ways to delve into topics that might have been a little too dark for a title that had such gorgeous backdrops and adorable character models.

Now, to the meat of the matter. The plot holes and the things that were never truly explained. Edna’s descent into madness though Adelle often insisted her sister had always loved humans. How and where Lady Emma found the book that actually contained the memories of the Night’s Nexus? Where does Seth actually come from? How did he die? Why was he chosen by the Wind Crystal? Why was Adam so invested in trying to conquer the world? Did he experience something bad in his past that informed his current need to stop war by starting it? Where did Folie come from? Who is she and why did she feel the need to torment the people of Wiswald for her art?

So many mysteries. So little explanation.

Overall, Bravely Default II has quite a few flaws and missteps. Yet, despite that, it’s a sum greater than its parts. The narrative might not have been captivating, but it managed to keep pulling me through until I saw the true ending. Anticlimactic as the final boss battle might have been, I still felt a certain satisfaction in seeing Gloria tackle Seth to the ground. And honestly, who doesn’t want to Godspeed Strike their way to victory?

P.S. I will say that after witnessing Adelle save Martha, I had hoped for a blossoming romance, but the dialogue between her and Elvis during the second bad ending got to me. It may not be my one true pairing, but Elvis x Adelle was an arrow to my heart. My only question is: how old is Adelle? She looks like a child and yet, because she’s a fairy, she could be like a century older. Maybe better not to think too hard, eh? After all, why sweat the details?

#bravely default II #video games

[mageglory]

Dragon Age Redemption (of a Plot) Part 2

And here we go with the continuation, folks. I still tag @dalishious since I started this after a rewatch organized by her blog before disappearing in the world of exams. Part 3, the last part, is already done and will arrive for the end of the day. Are we done? Let's go.

-After Josmael heals his wound and accuses Tallis of stabbing him, Tallis does her "I've proven a point by stabbing you" bit and Josmael, who's kind but not going to validate this, says "and this was the best way?" but ultimately follows them because he wants to help his clan.

-Cairn does his "I'm not working with an apostate they are evil" bit but when he says "my job is to lock them up or exterminate them" Josmael points up his hypocrisy (and also points up that tecnically he is NOT an Apostate, he's part of a different religion. He's a First) Cairn obviously ignores him/tells him to shut up, then Tallis goes "well you two will have to keep an eye on the other and follow me them" because she's so neutral and wise /s

-"We hoped the elder of our clan Yeven escaped the Chantry" "nobody escapes the Templars" "The Sarebaas did" brings out the "The Chantry killed him?!?" "No he was being examined" piece and in answer Josmael tells that humans sometimes attack dalish who wander too far away from the clan and torture them (like we see the templars do in da2 and in many other occasions). Cairn takes offence and Josmael answers that "examined" is just torture so he has no right to talk. Tallis points out the Sarebaas involvement and tells Cairn to keep up and Josmael gives Cairn a silent sideye.

-They still have the conversation when Cairn tells Josmael that it's better his loved ones died when he was young "feels less painful this way". Josmael starts answering coldly, but he's immediatey interrupted by Tallis qun wisdom before he can tell anything. Josmael answers, angrily, that love doesn't makes people selfish but it's what matters in the world and to help the casual DA fan to get who's right the conversation mirrors the romancing Warden and Wynne dialogue from Origins, with Tallis saying duty is all that matters and Josmael saying it's better to love and loose that not love at all. But we skip the Cairn x Tallis bit yes? yes. He just say love matters and that they are old. The duo laughs at that and say they are half the age of the dalish elders, and Josmael looks at them and says "I did not meant age. You are old inside".

-We skip the "Templars aren't allowed to marry bit" because WHAT IS SER WEASLEY THEN BIOWARE.

-The gang ambushes Sarebaas in the cave, still busy doing his "magic is unknown even to mages and what is a little blood for a lot of power" bit. That was a bit cliche but cool, a classic villain monologue and I can appreciate the classics.

-The battle starts and I laugh at the special effects used for magic, but basically it goes as in canon there, with Nyree the Reaver defeating Cairn and breaking the philactery. The mask of Fen'Harel activates. Also the scene where Tallis shows Sarebaas his collar and his "never again" stays, because it's cool, but Sarebaas is shown recoil on instinctive fear at it because we are gonna point out that he's the main villain but his hate of the Qun is justified. The bad guys get away and the "good" guys (lmao Josmael is the only good one there) + Nyree are trapped in the cave.

-The new episode opens up with Josmael being the only one to clear the rabble because "responsable" for them being trapped (which is a ridicolous argument but w/) while Cairn interrogates Nyree. When Nyree says that as mercenary she does not talk and Cairn hits her, Nyree laughs and asks Cairn if that's what he does to mages and if so he should put more energy in it because he's pathetic. When Cairn attacks again he's stopped by Tallis that tells him that Nyree is a reaver and it was a trap to make him angrier since she gets more powerful with more pain. And also because I like to think that Nyree like Zevran is a decent person so while she was totally provoking him the dab at the Templars was honest. #MageRights

-Cairn says to Tallis that the philactery is now broken and the two have a fight that deranges in something that can be summed up as "what kind of chantry fool lets our best way to get our Sarebaas back be destroyed" "shutup knife ears" and Nyree laughs at them and say she knows what the Sarebaas is going to do. Tallis pays handsomely Nyree to side with them and shamelessy confess to have stolen from the Keeper wagon. Josmael retorts, in a baffled/horripilates tone, that those money belong to the clan and should br used to help them all and she had no right to it.

-Tallis answers that capturing Sarebaas will help them all and basically ignores all of Josmael rightful anger. Cairn yells at the apostate that he would have totally killed Sarebaas if not for Josmael incompetence.

-Nyree proves that Cairn was basically torturing mages, remembering him from the prison. Josmael, still angry, sides with Nyree but Cairn is unrepentant. Tallis cuts off the discussion and the gang discovers that Sarebaas is going to Sundermount. Josmael rightfull is in anxiety at the idea of the woman he loves being killed for a blood magic sacrifice.

-Josmael looks at them broodingly/angrily in silence while they talk but then sighs and tells them of the shortcut.

-"What you know of this ruins?" "It's an ancient place of power from our people time" and Tallis goes with her "not our, yours". I shake my fist angrily at Bioware dividing elves but let it pass since honestly Tallis they are better without you get off that high horse.

-Lmao I forgot Nyree asks if Sarebaas could destroy qunari and chantry using the mask to call an army of demons. That's kinda of one my Tevinter ocs plan *toasts a drink to my gloriously evil woman*

-Nyree rightfully points out that Sarebaas was hurt and enslaved all his life and wants revenge but instead of saying "he's pissed at the world" she more openly says that the Qun made this. Tallis answers the usual propaganda of the qun piece of Sarebaas needing control and that's the only piece where I allow some Tallis x Cairn and only in a sarcastic sense. Nyree looks at them and tells Tallis she's no better than the Templars, even if she thinks she is and sarcastically adds "you two would make a great couple, killing kids together for their magic"

-They reach the conveniently placed carboard of an inn in the middle of nowhere instead that near abitations of roads. I'm sure they make great buisness.

-They talk while eating and Nyree informs them and us that she's from Nevarra, which explains why she is more open to magic than many others. If you are a casual DA fan don't worry, because Cairn will try to take a dab at the Mortalitasi, calling them "wicked necromancers" and trying to insult Nyree which gives our favourite woman in the group the occasion to shut him up and also briefly talk about the mortalitasi and say "the grip of the Chantry is weaker there".

-Then they talk about the Reavers abilities and at least there everyone is like "wow cool" because yes reavers are great and we should have knightly orders of reavers instead of chevaliers.

-Obbligatory Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena mention (<3) that part stays the same because I hate how Tallis tries to get in Nyree head but Nyree is perfectly capable to shut her up without my help.

-Josmael asks about Tallis mission, Tallis talks about qunari titles and how she was demoted and how she killed an orlesian slaver. Literally the only vaguely bonding part of the gang, if we ignore the Cairn and Tallis romance subplot (and we do, it doesn't exist. He still compliments her but not in a romancey way)

-For clarity Tallis still can/does vaguely flirt with Cairn in this scene but it is the typical spy flirt she does with Hawke too since the start and it is obvious both to Cairn and the audience than theres no romance and it's just part of Tallis personality (and as long as she doesn't stab mages Tallis can do what she wants)

-The "do you have to flirt all the time?" "no but I like it" bit is useful to make Nyree joke about the other two members of the group to Josmael. Because their friendship is amazing and I love them more than Cairn and Tallis.

-Then we got to the fighty part in the inn and both me and Galria Brosca cry of happiness at the existance of such a (Cailain voice) GLORIOUS rubber-made warhammer.

#dragon age redemption #dragon age #rewrites #tallis

[starfighter10]

tlou2 opinion

So I really had to share my opinion(rant) on the last of us part 2 and boy I have a lot to say. I am gonna dwell deep into this one, so bear with me if you can and want to

 But before that I have to share the feelings I hold for tlou1.Back when I finished tlou1, I knew I experienced something truly magical. I was pleasantly surprised by the beautifully crafted story, the execution of the characters, the music, the gameplay , and the effort that went into shaping the journey of the game,the character arcs and bonds. You could see and experience the uniqueness and passion that went into the first project. This game immediately became a favourite of mine.

When tlou2 was announced, my expectations were skyhigh,was elated to continue Joel and Ellie's journey and how it unfolds. The bar set by the first one was exceptionally high and probably impossible to achieve, but I had trust and faith in naughty dog, thought they couldn't go wrong with this one. After experiencing tlou2 , I am speechless.... not in a good way. I have no words to express my disappointment,frustration and anger I feel right now. I don't even know where to begin.... the absolute mess of a plot, the original characters being blatantly ignored, retconned and disrespected in favour of new bland characters, the plotholes in the story, the false advertising and marketing, naughty dog's hubris, making a complete mockery of your fans who are paying money to play something but getting baited for something else. I am utterly heartbroken and angry.

The plot - the driving force of the game is over ambitious, lazy,sloppy and nihilistic. It felt forced. Naughty dog bit off more then they could chew with this one. Tlou2 could have gone several ways in terms of plot with the existing characters, yet we get the cliche revenge plotline with the character abandoning the quest altogether to realise revenge isn't the answer. This trope has been done several times before, with more finesse and better execution. The writers aim for the " Ellie breaks the cycle of the revenge" but it really fails to achieve this as she blatanly annihilates several characters,npcs along the way in quest of her revenge. The damage has been done practically speaking. According to naughty dog's logic , I should expect Nora's sister or a random npc's friend/relatives in tlou3 hunting down Ellie in their revenge quest. Also Abby's quest literally does nothing for me. This character was so poorly written, executed and shoved down our throats, I didn't have any sort of attachment or empathy for her. I simply don't care about this character.

The circumstances that lead to Joel's death was out of character as well. Since the trailer drop in 2016, I was prepared for his inevitable death. Thought he would probably go out like the badass he is, maybe sacrificing himself for Ellie/tommy. The Joel I know from tlou1, a hardened survivor who has fought tooth and nail to survive the past 20 years would NEVER end up in a situation like that. Joel was intensely alert, critical,clever and intuitive. The argument here may be that he has softened in Jackson, but I feel at this point this should be 2nd nature to him. Something that is automatic. Yet the writer's now want you to believe he is a dumbass who would trust a group of strangers, make small talk and introductions and end up in a situation like that. One of the bigger issues was the constant reinforcing that Joel wiped down the fireflies in cold blood and doomed humanity for death by robbing them of their cure for survival,Ellie believing the cure would have been a guaranteed sure shot success ..... WHY? This retcons the first one completely. The beauty of the tlou1 was it's moral ambiguity and uncertainty. We were constantly hinted that fireflies is a mess of a group whose agendas weren't clearly known, whose actions caused the sacrifice of many people for the sake of a slight possibility of a cure.They were power hungry and were cruel enough to send a 14 year old girl to her death with no remorse,consent or any proper investigation or medical research. Joel initially negotiates to find someone else, gets shut down immediately, gets his means of survival snatched and was practically marched to his death. He had no option but to wipe clean these people who planned on killing someone dear to him, for something that is uncertain or in vain. And yes this was a selfish decision on Joel's part, and that was the beauty of it. The moral ambiguity. He was right or wrong or both - open to your interpretation. BUT NOW NAUGHTY DOG WANTS TO TO ERASE ALL THAT DEVELOPMENT. The active reinforcement that Joel was a cold, ruthless murderer who killed fireflies and deprived humanity of its cure? Trying to erase the fact that he was surviving and trying to keep his dear ones safe in this cold, brutal and unforgiving postapocalyptic world. So that we sympathize with Abby and enjoy golfing the tf outa Joel?. Ellie seems like a different character in this one, but again this character is immediately pushed to a whirlwind of traumatic events right from the start of the game. I missed her spark of joy,humour and enthusiasm. The treatment of the main chatacter in her own game is utterly cruel and disappointing, and seemed unfair to me. By the end, Ellie is broken beyond repair. Though she thematically chooses to be the better person and gives up on her vengeance and hate, she still manages to be on the losing side as she ends up losing her father figure which was her closest bond, loses Dina and the kid , she doesn't have her community, her people, her fucking fingers as well. Why? So Ellie could suffer a little more and be unable to do most important thing that bonded her to Joel. Not to mention she loses her switchblade too, her mother's final memory. Surprised that ND spared her mother's letter . Feel her pain and despair. Why does Ellie get such a shitty,depressing, worthless, futile and a hopeless conclusion while Abby not only gets her revenge successfully, forms a close bond in Lev and gets to escape possibly to a fresh start. Ellie? Nah she gets to suffer alone. Her BIGGEST FEAR has become a reality by the end. The least they could do is let Ellie have some solace and calm, surrounded by her loved ones on that farm,her trying to recover from her trauma slowly but surely, it's what joel would have wished for. But no, she is left all alone, absolutely traumatized, all by herself with nothing to look forward to. Oh and tommy is whole new character in every scene. So keep your eyes peeled for various versions of tommy throughout. The character inconsistencies are ridiculous.

The gameplay, beautiful sceneries, and new characters like dina and jesse are few of the positives of game - leaning more towards Jesse. Dina felt perfect for Ellie and Jesse did manage to lighten up few of the moments. The space shuttle cutscene, the museum flashback sequence, ellie and joel's flashbacks were the only parts that remotely captures the magic and beauty of tlou1. I got emotional watching them. The space shuttle sequence hits you with the feels. Joel slaying a bloater with a machete was cinematic art. (Hot too)

Abby... the forced deuteragonist, is an utter failure of character execution. Her character was forced onto us, felt hasty and lacked real build up. She starts off on the wrong foot by killing one of the most popular characters. If ND really wanted this character to work, the only possible way would have been to play her point of view and backstory prior to her mercilessly killing and torturing a guy who just saved her life. What was ND thinking? That a few hours of her pov,forced out of the blue background story, her getting to play with dogs while ellie has no option but to attack the dogs, the abby-lev bond which is pretty much discount or the walmart version ellie and joel would be enough to side with her over ellie and joel???? The part where they force you to play as abby against ellie? It made me sick. I felt cheated and disgusted.

The false advertising to make us believe joel is alive and good? That this is an ellie and joel centric game?To tug at your heartstrings like this. A complete mockery of the fans who waited 7 years to see their favorite characters get horribly treated,retconned, disrespected and thrown under the bus in favour of new unlikable characters. Butchering the heart and soul of the last of us - Joel and Ellie's bond. The fact that these two don't even get a heart to heart before his death, that Joel dies uncertain of ellie's future, maybe thought he could not save Ellie in those final painful moments, that she had never forgiven him, Ellie never getting her closure with Joel, or really getting to tell him how much he meant to her.... all these thoughts legit made me shed tears. Broke my heart. This is how much ND wanted to honour and respect ellie and joel.

The game's conclusion is hollow, futile, worthless and depressing. And in my opinion, this is non canon. This is the only way I can cope with this unsastifying conclusion. It is immaturity I guess... but I will feel better about it.

Though I utterly despise tlou2, tlou1 will continue to remain one of my favorite pieces of work in fiction. JOEL FUCKING MILLER WILL ALWAYS BE THE BADDEST BITCH AND NOTHING WILL CHANGE THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HIM.

If someone actually read it all the way, thank you for your time and effort. Really needed to rant and let these negative emotions out.

#the last of us #the last of us part 2 #tlou spoilers #tlou #tlou2 #tlou joel #tlou ellie #my rants #ellie #joel miller #joel

[wraithdeer]

Zaya of the Mol (pt. 2)

A continuation of my last fic of my Mol lizard, Zaya! Just her and Emet Selch as Solus walking around. Totally normal things.

Zaya silently walked amid the shadows, looking around into the twilight, seeing the silhouettes of Garlean soldiers. She paused only a moment before slowly moving around bushes and trees until she was alone in the vegetation as everything increasingly became different shades of black. 

“You are getting much better at that.” A voice said as she turned, seeing Solus as she smiled at him and nodded. He was slightly translucent in the day but now seemed to glow an eerie violet.

“Only thanks to you.” she said in a quiet whisper. 

“More thanks that there were no ‘innocent animals’ that desperately needed your saving influence.” he said as she blushed, cheeks puffing out slightly. 

“It was a mother and she was pregnant! You don’t kill those, they have to keep the population up!” she hissed 

“Mm-hmm. That is the only reason?” he asked, brow raising slightly as she crossed her arms but noticed the slightest upward curve in his mouth, his aether lightning slightly. 

“Yes.” she answered matter-of-factly. “Now where are we going now? I can barely make out anything here.” she told him, looking around a little bit.

“I’ll lead the way.” he told her simply as she nodded and followed after him, reaching out to grab his hand, her fingers brushing through him still as he looked over. 

“When will you stop that. You know you can’t touch me.” he noted. 

“I know.” she said. “But it’s the thought that counts, right? I care about you, Solus, and I’m happy that you’ve decided to help me. I reach for your hand because I feel safe with you even if I know I can’t hold it.” she added, Solus just giving a non-commital grunt but, seeing his aether, she smiled to himself as she followed him. 

A few hours passed as they walked, Zaya getting more and more tired but pressed on with Solus until he suddenly stopped as she looked up at him, his gaze appraising as she tilted her head a bit. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked. 

“Hmm. Nothing. But you should rest.” he ordered, pointing to a slight outcropping of rock and trees that could offer some protection. 

“I’m fine. You said it was better to rest during the day.” she said as she shook her head a bit. 

“I did. But you are already getting more and more clumsy so we should rest.” he told her. She grumbled but nodded, unable to deny that she was getting clumsy and would appreciate the chance to rest. Going over where he pointed, she sat down and tried to get somewhat comfortable as Solus followed and sat beside her, the two quiet for a moment. 

“Will you tell me a story about yourself, Solus?” she asked as he snorted. 

“You usually cut me off whenever I try.” he pointed out. 

“You try to talk about politics or fighting or war.” she told him. “I want to hear about the little things. Laughing with your friends or falling in love. Tell me about those things.” she asked as she looked up at him as he paused, looking away as he thought a moment, Zaya watching his aether shift slightly. 

“Alright.” he said after a while. “I will tell you of a...friend of mine then.” he told her, looking up toward the sky, stars twinkling above them both. “They were very kind-to a fault in some cases-and had an insatiable wanderlust. When I first met them, I believed them a bit...much to put it plainly. Still, the way they saw the world was truly unique. No matter where they went, they could always find a friend and no task was ever too far below them. Truly, they helped people with a humility that is rarely seen.” he told her, pausing a moment. “They...inspired me in many ways and always stuck to their beliefs-even when it would be easier to abandon them. Never did they balk at any sacrifice or meeting any need…” he said, trailing off as there was a moment of silence. 

“You really cared for them, Solus.” Zaya said softly, moving closer to him as she curled up. “I am glad you had someone like that...I’m sure they still care about you wherever they are.” 

“...Get some rest, Zaya.” he told her as she smiled at him and slowly drifted off to sleep. 

Just as she had fallen asleep, though, she swore she could feel a hand on her head. 

In the morning, Zaya awoke to the sound of birds singing as she rubbed her eyes, moving to ease the tension in her body from sleeping on dirt and stone as her eyes roamed about, not spotting the familiar spectral form of Solus as she blinked. 

“Solus?” she called, standing up a bit as she winced and began to walk in a direction into the forest, stretching her arms up high towards the canopy of leaves above. “I should have grabbed a blanket before leaving Reunion…” she mumbled. A snap to her side grabbed her attention suddenly as she started, hands going to her mouth to stop a gasp from escaping as she froze there a moment, eyes wide and her mouth dry. Zaya strained her ears for any sound but it had suddenly gone silent as she slowly inched forward to carefully pull leaves apart and peer between them. Right then, a blur of red fur jumped out, Zaya falling back with a squeak as the creature ran off before she could even get a look at it. 

“Zaya?!” came a concerned voice as Solus appeared, nearly transparent in the daylight as he kneeled down beside her. “What on earth happened?” he demanded, brows furrowed and looking unamused. 

“I woke up and went looking for you-I heard a noise and went to see what it was-” she began. 

“And if you found something?” he demanded harshly. “What then? You can barely protect yourself let alone anyone else right now.” he added, Zaya, surprised by his sudden harshness before she bristled and stood up, looking at him. 

“Then I would figure it out, Solus.” she told him. “I am not helpless! I am small and I am weak and I am a Mol. But I will not allow that to stop me.” she said, pausing a moment as she continued in a gentler tone. “Solus...I know I worried you and I’m sorry. But I have survived on the Steppe on my own as an orphan and as a Mol. I am stronger than I look-you know that by now.” she told him, a shocked look on his face as he sighed. 

“You are too soft even when giving a reprimand.” he muttered as she laughed, offering a hand to him to help him up despite his incorporeal form and, also despite his form, Solus mimed taking her hand and stood, Zaya beaming up at him. 

“Enough of this now…” He said as he motioned brushing himself off. “Let us continue on our way. I have scouted ahead a bit and found a path for us.” Zaya followed him happily, a little spring in her step.

---

The next few days were similar, moving during the day, sometimes together, sometimes with Zaya on her own while Solus went on his own to ‘check their path’ whatever that meant-Zaya had given up on getting information out of Solus before he was ready to share. Still, she enjoyed his presence and shared much with him and he would share bits and pieces as well, Zaya getting the sense his past was complicated at best. Still didn’t push anything, just happy he was sharing things with her. 

It was on a day that it was raining that things changed though-a cliche but it was true. The rain beat down on Zaya, her clothes soaked right down to her bones. There was something else too. Something less able to be explained but Zaya could just feel that something was off with that day when she woke up. A feeling that she should burrow down and wait for the day to end before daring to step out. Still, she brushed it off and continued on through the rain, standing close to Solus even though he offered no warmth. They walked along silently for a while, the rain filling Zaya’s senses. 

“We should stop and wait out the rain.” Solus said eventually, looking at Zaya as her arms wrapped around herself and she shook slightly. Zaya nodded, not arguing for once. 

“Yeah, okay.” she said as they walked along, coming to a stone overhang that they ducked under it. Water dripped from her as if she had just jumped in a pond as she sat down, tail curling around herself as well as she still shivered. 

“We should find you something warm.” Solus said, frowning as he sat beside her. 

“I’d like that…” she admitted. “I feel like a drowned badger.” she said as Solus placed a hand on her head a moment. 

“Get some rest. I will try to lead us somewhere warm when you wake up.” he said as she nodded, doing her best to curl up as she slowly fell asleep.

--

Something swirled in her unconscious mind, right beneath the surface that she couldn’t quite grab at but set her heart pounding and put her in a panic. Her eyes flew open, tears in the corners of her eyes as she stood up, stumbling a moment. Everything felt too hot one moment and then too cold another as her throat burned from dryness, causing a cough. Her head pounded as well despite just waking up as she looked around. 

“Solus?” she called, her voice hoarse as she felt that unexplained panic grip her chest in a vice. Without thinking she ran forward from the overhang and rushed out. “Solus!” she called. Zaya knew she was feverish. She knew she was getting sick and should stay where she was and see if it would pass on its own. At the same time, the idea of staying right where she was made her want to peel away her own skin. Zaya ran off in a direction, looking around wildly for Solus even though she knew her panic made no sense. “Solus!?” she called again as she ran past a broken down building that was just rubble as Garlean soldiers looked over at her emerging. 

“Halt!” They called as she slid to a stop in the mud and turned to sprint away. 

They yelled something at her, one of them quick enough to grab her wrist and yank her around as she looked into a metal mask. The man grabbed her face roughly, twisting her to look up at him. 

“You aren’t from around here it seems…” he noted, turning her head to look at her horns. 

“Let me go!” she yelled. 

“You will respect your betters, girl!” he began, grip turning cruel as she twisted, pulling aether into her hand as she shoved it into the man. He barely had time to grunt before he was sent flying back, Zaya turning as she continued to run. 

She didn’t process the yelling behind her nor the loud shot before she was on the ground in the mud, everything stilled from her previous fervor. Maybe it was the shock but she couldn’t feel pain from it at all though she felt the sickly feeling of a warm liquid pooling and soaking into her clothes before sliding down her skin. 

Zaya pushed herself up, the pain hitting then as she cried out, footsteps rushing toward her. One of the soldiers kicked her hard so she rolled over. “Savage!” they yelled, raising their gunblade as she lifted her hands over her face again and closed her eyes. She felt the movement of the aether more than anything else and then the cut off screams above her. Opening her eyes, there was Solus above her, his face hard and grim. Everything still had a slow, distant feeling to her still, as if she were watching things happen instead of being in them. 

“Zaya...what happened?” Solus asked, his voice measured in a way she didn’t like. 

“Your aether…” she said. “I’ve never seen it so dark before. Are you sad, Solus?” 

“Focus, dear.” he told her sternly. “What happened?” 

“I..I woke up. I don’t know why but...I was so scared, Solus, and I just needed to find you.” she said, voice wavering as tears burned her eyes as the pain finally set in and a strange tingling in some of her limbs. “Solus, I’m sorry…” she told him, voice cracking. She could feel herself fading-dying?-could feel her aether seep out of her like she was a sponge slowly being pressed upon. 

“Don’t say that.” he commanded her, swallowing. “Try to roll yourself over. I am going to help you.” he assured as she nodded, reaching over with her arms as she weakly tried to do so. However, her arms were like lead and...she was just so very tired. 

“Solus…” she said quietly. “I think…” 

“No.” he said, voice sharp before taking a breath as he laid a hand on her stomach. “You are going to close your eyes and rest-and stay with me. And when you wake up, everything will be alright.” he told her as she swallowed. 

“I...Okay Solus.” she said, looking up at the grey sky above. “I am...I’m happy I got to meet you, Solus. I never...I never thought anyone would care for me like you do.” she said softly, eyes closing. 

“Don’t talk like that.” he simply said.

Zaya wasn’t sure what happened next. She felt herself being lifted up though she only felt the faint feeling of an arm on her back. The body was warm though. After that, it all went black.

--

She awoke in a bed in a small room, a chirurgeon there as she smiled at her. 

“Good to see you up, Miss Mol.” she said gently. 

“Hello…” she murmured. “Where…?” she began, trailing off as questions kept popping into her mind. 

“You’re somewhere safe, dear. A man brought you in saying you were injured during an attack. Good thing he did too, you were in very bad condition.” she said as Zaya paused but nodded as she tried to sit up as the woman put a gentle hand on her. 

“Better to take it easy, sweetie.” she said. “It was quite the bad wound.” she added as she paused and nodded. 

“Right...Is the person who brought me here still around?” she asked as she shook her head. 

“He left before we could do anything about it. He did leave this for when you woke up however.” she said, handing her a letter as Zaya thanked her and took it. The woman let her be as she read the letter from Solus. 

It told her that he had managed to get her help though it didn’t explain how and that she was in Kugane. It also enclosed enough gil to get her to the destination Solus had been trying to lead her to the entire time: Limsa Lominsa. In Eoreza. She was surprised at that, swallowing a bit. It went on to detail what would be happening ‘after everything’ as he put it. He wouldn’t leave her forever, that he promised. He would appear and check in on her when he could. However, it would be more difficult for him to appear in the coming days after expending so much of himself to save her. Solus did note not to blame herself with that and was quite stern about that fact. 

‘I do wish I could continue to be there beside you and answer all the questions you must have right now, Zaya. However, fate, for the time being, has ordained us to stand apart for this time. When next we meet, I hope to begin to answer all of the questions you have of me. Despite my many misgivings of you, Zaya, I have the strongest faith that when we meet, you will have strength that matches your kindness and with that, you will be a force all your own. For now, however, heal and rest. Your ‘ghostly’ friend, Solus’ 

Zaya read the letter a few times, eyes watering a bit as she held it close. She wished she could have heard him one more time. Have said goodbye to his face as she swallowed hard. She would see him again though. Maybe only briefly at first but she would see him. He just needed to get his strength back. 

“Gone but not forever.” she murmured to herself as she looked out a window. She would get stronger. She would prove Solus right and see him smile at her when she told him all about it. A small smile came to her face at the thought as she kept the letter close. 

Emet Selch stood  outside the young auri’s room, the healer preoccupied for the moment as he worked his jaw. Even in a weakened, fragmented state, they were still just as irritatingly selfless and stubborn. He looked around the corner briefly as Zaya looked out the window, expression softening a moment before he pulled his gaze away. He would not-could not-linger on the girl much longer. Too much had been sacrificed already and he had to prepare for the day when it would be corrected and the small Mol girl was on her way to assisting in those plans already.

#Zaya Mol #ffxiv fanfiction #au ra female #emet-selch #solus zos galvus #au ra #ffxiv #ffxiv fic #oc fic #ffxiv oc

[shyvioletcat]

Firefighter AU: "There's a lot more to you than I had thought"

Well, this is a long one. I really hope it doesn’t disappoint. Thank you all for reading and sticking with me.

Masterlist

~~~~~

Rowan put the bag of lights on the coffee table and pulled some out. Aelin, on the other hand, went to the kitchen using her phone to light the way.

“Would you like a drink? I’ve got some iced tea. I was about to have a glass before the power went out,” Aelin explained indicating to the jug on the bench.

“That sounds nice,” Rowan said as he turned on one of the lanterns and brought another to the kitchen. He lent on the bench as Aelin pulled out some glasses. There were a few beats of painfully awkward silence. This was not going as he had planned. Rowan was inwardly forming his next sentence when Aelin spoke.

“Rowan, about last night,” she sucked in a deep breath and looked away from him as she began to pour the tea into the glasses.

“No please, let me go first,” Rowan said and took in a deep breath of his own. “The woman who met me at the bar, her name is Lyria and she’s my ex.”

“You’re ex?” Aelin asked, one brow raised, but she didn’t look at him and just filled the next glass.

“Yeah,” Rowan said and Aelin looked at him now as she passed him his drink. “Ex-wife.”

Aelin fumbled the glass in the pass, Rowan managed to get it before it smashed to the ground but saving the glass sacrificed his shirt. Aelin gasped then grabbed a tea towel from where it hung on the oven and was frantically trying to soak it up.

“I’m so sorry,” Aelin said, hands pressing on his abs. She seemed to realise exactly what she was doing right in that moment and left the towel to him.

“It’s fine,” Rowan said as he took over trying to soak up some of the tea while Aelin poured him another glass.

“Just… ex-wife was a little bit of a shock.” This time Aelin slid the glass along the bench. “Go home and change.”

Rowan shook his head. “I think I’d rather just get this out.”

Aelin took a sip of her drink and nodded. Rowan made for the couch and Aelin followed him and sat down just as he did. Close but, but not close enough to touch.

“We were high school sweethearts. All the cliches you can imagine, that was us. Anyway, we were young and stupid. Lyria got pregnant just after we graduated and her parents were old fashioned and fairly religious, so they flipped out pretty hard when they found out. So, I thought I’d do the right thing by her and proposed. It was a very quick engagement, we got married as soon as we could. Then just after we got married Lyria miscarried, we’d done everything so quickly that it was still very early, not even four months. But it was still very hard on the both of us, we’d imagined a life together and then it was gone.”

“I’m sorry,” Aelin said quietly.

Rowan shrugged. “It was for the best. We realised we’d only got married for the baby and that really we weren’t right for each other in the long run. We divorced just before our first anniversary, but we’ve stayed good friends. She texted me Thursday night, just after I finished talking to you, saying she was passing through Orynth and wanted to catch up with me and the boys.” Aelin gave him a questioning look. “Over the years she’s became friends them.”

“Oh,” Aelin said as she put her glass down on the coffee table. “So that’s where you went, to see them at work.”

“Yeah, she didn’t know her way around town so I told her to meet me at the bar and then we’d go from there.” Rowan said, then it was silent again. “I meant to tell you about Lyria earlier. It just never really came up. And I have to admit that you are very distracting.”

Aelin looked at him, a coy smile on her face. “Is that all I am?”

Rowan looked at Aelin, his eyes connecting with hers.

“No,” Rowan said quietly, he put his glass on the coffee table next to Aelin’s then he reached out to tuck Aelin’s hair behind her ear. Aelin’s eyes tracked the movements. “You are beautiful, intelligent, with a wicked sense of humour. There’s a lot more to you than I thought.”

Aelin shifted closer, “Beautiful, hmm?”

Rowan huffed a small laugh, of course that was the thing Aelin had chosen to focus on. “And crude and obnoxious, and you probably have the most vanity of anyone I’ve ever met.”

Aelin laughed and Rowan would be happy if it was the last thing he’d ever heard, it made him feel alive and he wanted to do everything that he could to hear it over and over again. He was utterly mesmerised by her.

The only thing that distracted him was the damp shirt clinging to his chest and stomach.

“I should head home and clean up.”

He stood and started to move towards the door. He didn’t want to go, but he also didn’t want to sit around in a wet shirt either.

“Wait,” was all Aelin said as she too got up from the couch and then dashed off to her bedroom, her robe trailing after her.

Rowan did as she asked, stopping by the door. She came out of the bedroom holding something and in the dim lights he couldn’t tell what it was. It wasn’t until she was right in front of him and handing him something that he realised what it was. His grey T-shirt. He’d been wondering where it had got too.

“Thanks,” Rowan said.

Then without even thinking he took off his damp shirt, using the dry parts to wipe away any of the remaining moisture from himself. As he slipped on his T-shirt Aelin had given him he realised that it smelled like her, a citrusy, floral scent. She had been wearing it. The scent was too strong for it to be anything else. The realisation hit him so hard he paused, his fingers fumbling as he pulled on the hem of his shirt. Once he had it on he saw that Aelin hadn’t moved. She stood there in front of him, drinking him in. The sleeve of her robe had fallen off her shoulder revealing the strap of her nightgown. Her gold nightgown.

The gravity of Rowan’s universe shifted, his entire focus centring on Aelin as she took one, then two steps towards him, her hand coming between them and resting on his chest.

“Don’t go.”

~~~~~

When Rowan had said he was leaving Aelin had panicked. She didn’t want Rowan to leave, gods she wanted him to stay so bad her stomach was sinking just at the thought of him leaving her. So she’d given him the stolen T-shirt. She was loathe to part with it but if it kept Rowan in her apartment she’d gladly make the sacrifice.

The Rowan had stripped off right there in front on her, his perfectly chiselled torso right there in front of her. Any restraint Aelin had burned away, her desire for him like a flame under a rope scorching away each thread until she snapped. He wasn’t leaving, not if Aelin could help it. She’d crossed that distance between them and lay her had on his chest. She didn’t know if the thudding she felt was his heart or her own pulse pounding in her body.

“Don’t go.”

Rowan looked down at her, his expression unreadable.

“Why?” Rowan asked.

“Because I don’t want you to,” she said to him.

Aelin stepped closer, not touching but close enough she could feel the heat radiating off Rowan’s body.

“Why?” He said again, his voice a near growl. But Rowan knew exactly why because it was his hands tugging at the tie of her robe.

Aelin let him. Then she let the robe fall open as Rowan gently brushed it aside so he could see what she wore beneath it. So slowly, Rowan took her in, taking his time to look at her until his eyes met hers.

“Is it because you want me to be your snack?” Rowan eyes glinted with mischief, and his lips quirked into an arrogant smirk.

“You bast —“

Aelin didn’t get to finish her insult because Rowan’s lips crashed onto hers, silencing her so effectively. His hands immediately went to her waist, tugging her flush against him. Her hand remained on his chest while the other slid over his shoulder and up his neck pushing his mouth harder against hers. This… this was unlike anything she had experienced before.

It was as if the all those matches they had been striking these weeks had finally sparked and now Aelin was deliciously burning. Everywhere Rowan touched her was sparking beneath his touch, every shift of his hands, his lips, Aelin thought she might die from it as she burned like a wildfire. He spun them so that she was now pinned against the door, the damned door that brought them together all those weeks ago. It was like ice against her back and the sensation made her gasp. Rowan took that opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. Too much, it was all too much and it had Aelin losing all sense as she moaned into his mouth. The sound seemed to be his unleashing and his hands slid down from her waist to her thighs and he lifted her up. Aelin laughed as he did, Rowan’s lips exploring her neck.

“Rowan,” her voice a soft and breathy sound.

Rowan looked up at her, his gaze soft and his lips softer as he kissed her once, twice, the second lingering.

“Aelin, I…” Then Rowan leaned back and yawned.

Aelin’s brows rose, “I’m trying real hard not to be offended.”

Rowan kissed her again. “As much as I would like this to continue, I’ve only had about three hours of sleep. Someone cancelled our date because I was an godsdamned idiot and I’ve not been able to relax since.”

“I’m glad you see where the blame lies,” Aelin said draping both her arms around Rowans neck. Rowan pinched her thigh, making her hiss. “Fine. I guess I overreacted. I’m free tomorrow though.”

“You sure? No girls day? No work commitments?” Rowan asked.

Aelin smirked. “No dates with other women?”

Rowan laughed and unceremoniously dropped Aelin’s legs from beneath her, but his hands were instantly on her waist, steadying her. “It wasn’t a date, we went through this. Tomorrow, lunch?”

Aelin nodded, with a smile.

Rowan lent in, brushing his nose against hers. Aelin’s eyes fluttered waiting for the kiss but it didn’t come.

Rowan only whispered, “It’s a date.”

~~~~~

Rowan was… he didn’t know what he was. All he knew is that kissing Aelin, touching her, made him feel alive in a way he hadn’t felt in a very long time. He would like nothing more than to sweep her away to her bed and worship her in every way imaginable but his body was betraying him. A long hard week at work and then so little sleep had him feeling as if he wouldn’t last another ten minutes.

He reached for the door handle but Aelin beat him to it.

“Aelin,” he groaned.

“Stay. Please,” Aelin said, looking at him from beneath her lashes. “I promise, no funny business. I want you to be able to keep up with me anyway old man. Just please stay.”

“Old man?” Rowan scoffed. “I’m not that much older than you.”

“Old enough it seems,” Aelin said.

“Maybe I’m just being chivalrous and want to take you on a date before I ravish you,” Rowan said as he leaned in closer, “thoroughly.”

Even in the low light Rowan could see the flush on Aelin’s cheek at the promise. Rowan yawned again and swore.

Aelin tipped her head back and laughed. “Come on.”

She took his hand, leading him to her bedroom. Rowan watched as Aelin slipped off her robe, watching him watch her. Then she slipped beneath her blankets.

“It’s going to be a bit creepy if you stand there staring all night,” Aelin said as she settled onto her pillow.

Rowan took the hint and went around to the other side of the bed and he pulled the sheets back and without hesitation got into bed beside Aelin. They moved almost simultaneously, him reaching for her and Aelin snuggling into his side. She looked up at him and he pressed a lingering kiss to her lips.

“Good night,” Aelin whispered, leaning her head above his heart.

Rowan just smiled, the sound of the rain lulling him to sleep within moments.

~~~~~

LOOK THEY DID IT! IT HAPPENED! THE SLOWBURNING IS OVER!

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[maxparkhurst]

How did you create your characters? What was your process?

TMI Tuesday:  How did you create your characters? What was your process?

// <offers out a chair> You’re going to want to sit for this. It’s going to be a LONG story. For those who’re looking for a short answer: I’m actually in the middle of creating these two. Edits and tweaks are always being made to make them appear real and true. And it’s thanks to everyone on here and in-game that they’ve progressed so much. 

Now for the long version. 

<buckles seat belt> 

Evolving as an Author:

Maxinora and Augustine Parkhurst are a culmination of ideas inspired by a myriad of things. The process of creating them isn’t linear. It has a lot of pit falls, unexpected twists and turns, and a ton of hills. To understand how we got the current versions of these two, we need to go back a couple years ago. 

It’s the summer of 2012. In efforts to get me off of his account, my Dad gifted me my own. This was when I made my first ever serious roleplay character- a hunter named Evelon Holmwood. Well, at the time I spelled it like Evavllyn but...Yeah. We’re going to gloss over that fact. Now, Eve was my pride and joy for the last several years. I played this character nonstop, refusing to play or write about anyone else. In retrospect, I used this character more as therapy than anything of creative merit. 

Eve’s story was basic at best. But I got better with story-telling the older I got. Unfortunately, her story got so convoluted that I had hard time salvaging anything from it. Now, you’re probably asking: How does this relate to Max? Fear not. I’m getting there. It was around this existential crisis that a mutual friend of my boyfriend and I convinced us to leave WoW and hop on SWTOR. My boyfriend was more than eager to make the switch but I was skeptical. Leaving WoW meant leaving Eve. And was I ready for that? 

He assured me I was and helped me make a character on SWTOR. This was the first iteration of Max. A bounty hunter from Nar’Shadda named Maxinora Fenrik. My intentions was to make her a lowkey copy of Eve. At this time, I wasn’t very confident in my writing abilities and liked to stay in my lane. But, the more I roleplayed this character the more she took on a life of her own. She evolved past Eve and exceeded my expectations. Playing a new character bolstered my confidence and while I no longer play SWTOR -due to OOC reasons- I still have fond memories with this character. I enjoyed this character so much that I reused several components of her design when making Max. Some which include her name and being blind in one eye. 

I flipped between the MMOs when Legion dropped. Expenses started to pile up and between the two subscriptions I didn’t have the time to play both. In the end, WoW won my affection and I made a Blood Elf because I had friends on Horde Side. Rorien Hawkthorne was her name. A drunk artist and master assassin. She’d be the second iteration of Max. She had an older sister complex, an affinity for being melancholy, and it was my first experience with playing a character who could kept secrets- or tried to at least. Another new character under the belt and I was feeling a little more confident in my story telling abilities. I’d probably would’ve kept playing that character if not for OOC drama happening in a guild I was in. The fallout had me jump back to the Alliance where I indulged in creature comforts. It was back to Eve. 

Tumblr made an entrance in my life around then as I ventured forth with a refreshed look on my hunter. I salvaged what I could and made a half-decent story. A lot of her misadventures are still posted up on her blog @evelonholmwood​ On the side I made the third iteration of Max. A fire mage and blacksmith combo by the name of Rowan Celwick with her younger brother Thomas Celwick.  They were just two orphaned kids trying to make a life in Stormwind. Rowan was an arcane drop-out and blacksmith wannabe and Thomas...Was...Well? Thomas? A glorified side-piece? A way to garner pity for Rowan. I didn’t place a lot of emphasis on them or their characters. My main focus was Eve. But these two would be the underlying foundation of Max and Auggie’s characters. 

I eventually took a hiatus from WoW and focused on more personal writing. The details are boring so I’ll gloss over it by saying that creating a character completely from scratch was the final push in the right direction for me. Fast forward several months to a year aaaaaand BOOM! Pandemic. 

Writing is an escape for me. It’s one of my best coping mechanisms during trying times. And when nothing else works, I over indulge in some Warcraft. So, I resubbed. There was hesitance when re-entering the RP scene. I didn’t leave Eve’s story off on an convenient note. For lack of better phrasing, I wrote myself into a hole I couldn’t get out of. So, with the help of my boyfriend, I decided it was time to give Eve her happy ending and shelf her for good. 

Which put me in a dilemma! Who was I going to RP? Well, you remember the Celwicks? They became my newest project. 

The Creative Process: 

I knew the Celwick story was weak and read much like a middle-school fanfiction. Revising was a must. But there were integral pieces to their story which I enjoyed: 

Familial Sacrifice 

Juxtaposing concepts

Intertwined Fates

These were themes I could work with and evolve. Keeping these in mind, I started to deconstruct the Celwick story line. They were no longer Gilnean but Kul’tiran. This prompted a name change from Celwick to Parkhurst. And I won’t lie, I like the sound of Parkhurst better than Celwick. Thomas became Augustine and Rowan became Maxinora (Mainly because I actually HAD the name Maxinora and not Rowan). The little changes got me hyped for the characters. 

Next, I started to trim away the unnecessary details that bogged down the narrative. Things that either didn’t fit or made the timeline too convoluted were replaced. Pyromancy was a great example. The age I wanted Max to be wouldn’t yield to her understanding of Pyromancy. At least, not to the level I WANTED it to be. SO, I turned it into lament’s magic. Alchemy. (I also always wanted to play an alchemist since watching FMA) 

A girl with two professions seemed excessive as well. I had to look at why I wanted her to be both an Alchemist and a Blacksmith. The answer was simple. I just liked the juxtaposition of an intelligent woman being rough and tumble. Which made me ask: Was Blacksmithing necessary to achieve that imagine? The answer was no. To pay respect to her previous iteration, I made their parents blacksmiths. It also let me keep themes of fire in her concept. The change in profession brought on a change in her appearance. I made her a little more slender to fit with the alchemist appeal. 

Max’s aesthetic was brought on by my previous characters.  Rorien inspired more internal facets of Max while Fenrik inspired outward appearances. Max’s auburn was strictly a decision made on the fact that I had one too many character’s with black hair. There wasn’t any other reason for it. 

Designing Max was easy. The real challenge was with Augustine. Up until that point, all I had to go on for his character was Tommy Celwick and...Well. There wasn’t a lot there. He wasn’t much more than a poorly used trope and I considered doing away with him all together. But I realized that I REALLY liked the trope and I liked what he did for Max’s character.  So, I buckled down and made myself think through all the reasons why Thomas Celwick -AKA Augustine Parkhust- needed to exist. 

I decided that I needed him in order to present themes in Max’s story. He was the foil to her character. Cynic older sister? Meet optimistic brother. He also appealed to not only the three themes listed above, but also the newest one I wanted to explore: two sides of the same coin. Max and Augustine are simultaneously the same, having similar traumas, and yet different. If for nothing else, Augustine could help propel Max in the right direction. Be her moral compass, you know? With a bit of half-assing here and there, I managed to get a decent character out of Augustine. Took the cliche nerdy brother idea, physical design and all, and ran with it. Shortly after I  made their Tumblr account. In no way did I expect this BOY to take on a life of his own. Like, Auggie knocked on my brain’s door and was like, “Yeah. No. I’m not a side character. Give me my own story...” 

Which will bring me into my final point! 

The Characters Write Their Own Story: 

I’ve never been able to sit down and plan a story. My mind doesn’t work in such a structured fashion. It wanders and explores. When I’m creating, I’m watching. Watching the scenes play out before my eyes as these characters take what I’ve given them and grow into something almost independent of me. The basic pieces of Max and Auggie’s back story, along with character design, were purposeful. Yes. But everything that came after was THEM.

It’s cliche, I know, but I can’t describe this experience any other way. These two grew outside of my influence and now dominate a space in my brain. They talk, work, and interact without me. I mean...Not REALLY. But...It feels like that. It feels I’m watching through a keyhole and just recording what I see as their story plays out. 

I guess a better analogy is me being the director. I’m watching the movie in the stands as two actors improv. On good days, I’m in control and rework scenes until I’m satisfied with the results. Try this. Move here. Say this. On bad days, I don’t see anything. My actors went home. The lights are off. Show’s cancelled for the day. These days make me sad...But they’re worth it because on the BEST days...The best days Max and Auggie run the whole show, and I am watching through the keyhole as their story unfolds little by little. 

It’s truly magical. 

The last part of their creation was the voice. Character voice, for me, is like building muscle. You need to work out. Start small and work your way up in weight. Every little piece I wrote made their voices stronger; and that’s including asks and threads. Interacting with other characters helped to flesh them out as people. And while it was hard and intimidating at first, it’s started to become easier. 

Wrap-Up

My method is messy and untrained. I don’t claim to have any secrets. My knowledge of writing is mediocre at best. But I’m having fun. And that’s were the real magic of any character comes in. Fun. Because if you aren’t writing about something that sparks your soul- either with love, happiness, hatred, etc- then it’s nothing more than a forced, hollow husk. Writing is meant to evoke emotion. At least in mind. And want to express complex emotions and share them. In a perfect world? My characters -any of my characters- resonates with someone. They become the escape someone needed. That’s the ultimate goal. 

It’s thanks to all of you that Max and Auggie have come this far. It’s from their interactions with others that they’ve managed to evolve into something incredible- especially Augustine. He just kept shining brighter and brighter until I felt obligated to make him an in-game character. So, you all are just as much a part in the creative process as me. Thank you! 

And a special thanks to my boyfriend for always being a sound board for my rambling ass <3 

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK, ANON! Sorry I posted an essay...<3 

[iluvsexyvoltageguys]

Love is Blindness - Part 1

Fandom: Be My Princess (Love 365)

Pairing: Roberto x Reader

Note: This is an AU fic for @dany-ryujin, hope you enjoy!

‘I’m coming over and I’m bringing food and you can’t say no’ Is all the text read and after answering that you were definitely in, you started cleaning the scattered papers and mess you had made while you waited for Roberto to arrive.

You were a bit nervous which was a strange feeling you didn’t normally have with him but it had been so long since it was just the two of you hanging out. He clearly wanted to talk and you’d just drive yourself crazy thinking about what spurred the visit so you hurried off to do more tidying, keeping yourself busy so you wouldn’t think too heavily about something as simple as hanging out with your best friend.

Soon enough there was a knock on the door and as you pulled it opened, there he stood looking like he had just woken up, which you knew was probably true. His eyes lit up when he saw you and you were just as happy to see him, returning his smile. “I missed you,” He said, leaning to give you a kiss on the top of your head.

You pulled back, motioning towards the bags in his hands as you went to shut the door behind him. “Is that apology Chinese?” You said with a smile. “What did you do? Should I be worried?” You laughed, opening the door all the way and motioning for him to come in.

Roberto had been your best friend for years and lately, his new girlfriend, who was no fan of yours, had made very sure you two spent little time together. “It’s more, Roberto’s an idiot Chinese AND apology Chinese.” He answered, moving to place the bags of food on the counter. You slid passed him to the cupboard pulling out plates and grabbing utensils from the drawer.

“Well if we’ve switched to eating ‘Roberto’s an idiot Chinese’ than we will be eating a lot of it.” You turned in time to see Roberto roll his eyes, and having already opened a few of the containers, he picked up a chicken ball and threw it lazily in your direction, the piece landing on the floor. You bent down to get it muttering about him being wasteful and you could hear his quiet chuckle from behind you.

You were both silent for a few moments until he spoke, soft but strong. “I really am sorry,” he said lowly. Those words changed the easy feeling in the room to serious and so you turned then, leaning your back against the counter to look at him as he sat at the island, dishing out the food. “I didn’t mean to make this weird for you.”

You smiled at him. “It’s not weird, Robbie. You���re allowed to have a girlfriend it just sucks not seeing you much anymore.”

There was more to it, and you both knew it but he just nodded in response. It was hard because you were such a cliche and you had fought very, very hard not to be. You were in love with him and you had been fighting to keep him in your life, in whatever capacity, for months and you weren’t about to crack now.

You smiled, knowing he probably saw it was forced being that he knew you so well and took the few steps between you so that you were standing in front of him. He turned in his chair, knees touching and you reached up to run your right hand through his hair, your left placed securely on his shoulder. Roberto’s eyes were locked on yours and the twitch of his fingers in his lap let you know he wanted to pull you closer but knew you would back off if he did.

“I know you’re sorry but I’m really just sad because I miss you. I’m not mad or hurt, I’m happy for you and if you’re happy…I’m happy.” You leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, and as you began pulling away Roberto reached up to grab your wrist. “______,” he whispered, running his thumb along your skin, guiding you gently back to him.

“It’s ok, Robbie. So she doesn’t like me. If you like her, which you do, than those are sacrifices you need to make for your relationship. I may not like them or agree with them but you and I are just friends so you don’t owe me what you owe her.” With that you pulled completely away from him and this time he let you go.

You finished organizing the food onto the plates Roberto had started and moved yours to your own place setting. You could feel Roberto’s eyes on you the whole time and you forced yourself to not give in and look at him because you might cry and you didn’t want to do that. You may not have verbalized the entire truth of the situation to each other but you both knew and you were both just too scared to do anything about it.

You thought that Roberto was going to let it go as you felt him shift back towards his food and pick up the fork you had placed in front of him but before he took a bite you heard him say “We aren’t just friends, _____. You’re my best friend. How you feel about her and I matters.”

You finished chewing the bite you had taken, letting Roberto’s words sink in. The two of you had always had a very close friendship. Many times over the years people thought you were dating, in fact that mistake happened so many times that, depending on the situation, you both would just go with it.

Over the years you’d both dated other people but each time there was just something off about it and you’d end up back on the couch, just the two of you, some stupid show playing on Netflix. You’d get take out and spend the evening cuddled up, not really talking about what had happened but being there for each other nonetheless.

Now, the reality was that he had a girlfriend again, and not too unlike his past relationships, this one didn’t like you much. You always tried your hardest to be welcoming to each of them but your closeness with Roberto always sent the girls to pull him away from you. His current girlfriend wanted nothing to do with you and made it very clear that she didn’t want you around. She was sharp and a bit more conniving than girls he’d dated in the past, always placing herself between you and Roberto, pulling him away from you a bit more each day.

As much as it hurt, you weren’t even sure if Roberto realized how calculated her actions were and as he seemed to really like her, you weren’t about to ruin that for him. Maybe you were being selfish, maybe you weren’t. You knew he cared deeply for you but after years of dancing the line between friendship and the possibility of more, you’d had to assume that it just wasn’t in the cards for you. If you two ever decided to take your friendship further it would be because it felt right, not because of jealously over someone else.

It was hard because you wanted to shout how you felt about him from the rooftops, you wanted to pull him to you and tell him everything with his lips against yours, but you were friends. You had drawn that line in the sand years prior and you refused to cross it in its entirety until Roberto was ready and willing and wanting, if he ever even would be.

Him sitting in your kitchen with that look in his eyes that said everything his words didn’t just wasn’t enough. It was only enough to reassure you he cared, that he did love you as you loved him but it hurt in some way, deep down that you knew he felt that way and was still with her. You wanted him to choose you because he wanted to, not because he felt trapped with someone else and because you had always been there and it would be easy.

You wanted a lot of things and you had to come to terms with the fact that sometimes what you want doesn’t happen and you just have to live with it. You sighed then, having taken too long to answer with all of the thoughts running through your mind. Roberto had stopped eating and was just looking at you. Again. You couldn’t even really remember what the last thing he said to you was.

“I honestly don’t know what else you want me to say, Roberto.” You were playing with your food now, running your fork through your fried rice, moving the pieces around your plate so that you wouldn’t have to look at him. Your appetite was gone but you forced a bite so that you’d have something to do but cry. You absolutely did not want to do that. You wanted to be fine and you knew that you should be. You were friends, no matter the rest and you did not have the right to get all emotional over such a situation as your friend having a girlfriend.

“Ok,” Was all he said, though he said it so quietly you almost missed it. You both continued eating then, almost forcefully so the food didn’t go to waste. It felt like there had been a shift in your relationship and you were wracking your brain trying to figure out the exact moment the change happened. You had pulled away from each other, closed off your hearts just a bit more and you cautiously turned your head to look at him.

He was staring down at his plate, his shoulders hung low. It was silent in the apartment other than the clanking of your forks and the soft hum of the show on the tv in the living room you had been watching before Roberto arrived. When you were finished eating, you picked up your plate and put it in the dishwasher, Roberto doing the same behind you.

“Are you staying for a while or are you leaving?” You asked, breaking the long stood silence now that there was literally nothing else to do without asking it. You hated the awkwardness, the silence. Normally the two of you were like two peas in a pod, so comfortable that it just felt right but now, now something had shifted and you were scared about what that meant.

“I’m..I think I’m going to go.” He said slowly. You had started walking towards the living room while he had stayed leaning on the island in the kitchen where you had just eaten. “Okay, well, yeah you probably should, I’m sure she’s waiting. Thanks for dinner.” You barely recognized your own voice in saying that. It felt flat and defeated and you were so mad that that was the case.

You were trying to be reasonable and trying to be an adult who was logical and used her head but your heart was screaming at you to say something, literally anything that might tell him to stay. Instead he just looked at you, the same feeling of defeat you had pressing in your chest written all over his face as he turned and left without another word, the door falling heavily behind him.

BMP Masterlist

#be my princess #roberto button #voltage inc fanfiction #voltage inc #love 365 #bmp

[bronzeflower]

The Opposite of a Fake Relationship

Also on ao3

Chapter 3: The Lunch Table

-----

“So,” Jared announced as everyone sat down for lunch. “We finally have some good gossip in the guild.”

“Don’t let the Captain here you say that,” Lyla mentioned, and Jared waved her off.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. More importantly,” Jared looked directly towards Arlo. “There’s a romance blooming in the workplace, and I must say, it wasn’t a pairing I expected at all.”

“Why are you looking at me?” Arlo questioned, and Aureall got this intense expression on her face.

“That Victor kid!” Aureall declared. “And his blatant flirting! You haven’t even said anything about it!”

“There’s also the way you look at him,” Helene pointed out.

“And here I thought you were married to your work,” Lyla said.

“And <i>I</i> thought you would choose someone a bit more on the serious side,” Jared mentioned. “But Victor is one of the most cheerful people I’ve ever met.”

“Classic case of opposites attract,” Aureall crossed her arms definitely.

“I-I’m surprised you’re taking such an interest in this, Aureall” Barin spoke. “You don’t re-really seem the type.”

“Shut it!” Aureall flushed. “I can like romance if I want to!”

“No one sa-said you couldn’t,” Barin retorted, and Jared interrupted before the conversation could go any further.

“More importantly is that Arlo over here doesn’t seem to be reciprocating the flirting that Victor is doing, and we can’t be having that.”

“Jared, I’m not gonna flirt with him while I’m at work,” Arlo pointed out, only to get stares.

“So you mean you <i>would</i> flirt with him otherwise?” Jared questioned with a gleam in his eyes.

“Somehow I have a difficult time imagining Arlo flirting,” Aureall thought.

“He’s terrible at it,” Helene said bluntly.

“How do you know?” Arlo questioned. She was right, but still.

“I don’t, but I doubt I’m wrong,” Helene answered. “We’d be better off shoving them in a closet together than getting Arlo to take any initiative.”

“Now there’s an idea,” Jared was clearly thinking deeply.

“Wait!” Barin yelled out. “You’re not ac-actually planning on trying to get them together, are you!? That’s, that’s to-totally unprofessional!”

“I agree,” Lyla announced. “Victor’s flirting is bad enough. There’s no reason to attempt to make it worse.”

“It won’t make it worse!” Jared argued. “If anything, it’ll make things better! Victor won’t have a reason to flirt relentlessly anymore, and Arlo will stop pining after him even though he’s clearly interested. Besides, Arlo’s way too professional to allow a relationship to get in the way of his work. He’d put a stop to any flirting the moment they got together.”

Arlo did Not think about how he pulled Victor into a closet to make out because he couldn’t stand not kissing him for a second longer. It was a miracle they weren’t caught, and they only stopped because of Victor.

“He could do that now,” Lyla argued. “How do we know they wouldn’t just go off into some closet to make out once they’re together?”

Arlo steeled his face as much as he could.

“Please, for all the time I’ve known Arlo, he hasn’t shown even an inkling of being interested in that sort of thing,” Aureall insisted.

“He is,” Helene said.

“Who’s side are you on, Helene?” Aureall yelled, and Helene smiled and shrugged.

“Well, I’m on Barin and Lyla’s side,” Arlo said. “There’s no reason you should be interfering with any relationships I may have.”

Given the look Aureall and Jared got, Arlo highly doubted they were going to stand by and do nothing.

And he was correct in his assumptions when he found Victor dressing up slightly better a few days later.

“Got a date tonight?” Arlo joked, and Victor chuckled.

“Obviously,” Victor rolled his eyes. “He’s quite the catch, you know. Tall, a redhead, and a member of the Flying Pings.”

“Is there a chance that this man is <i>also</i> your beloved husband?”

“Yes, there is a chance that this man is my beloved and darling husband,” Victor responded. Arlo smiled into the kiss they shared. “But, seriously, I expected Jared to start out pretty overt in his matchmaking, but instead he’s trying to convince me to dress up for you like I don’t do that already.”

“Is that why he’s been talking with you so much lately?”

“Yeah, although I’m not sure he’ll agree about my idea of what ‘dressed up’ is.”

“Yeah, I doubt it,” Arlo agreed. “You know, one day you’re gonna be forced to wear a suit.”

“I would say over my dead body, but if my corpse is put into a suit, I’m gonna haunt the shit out of whoever made that decision.”

“Don’t you wanna get cremated?”

“It’s the principal of the matter,” Victor shrugged. “Are you ready to prepare our gremlin children for school?”

“They’re not gremlins.”

“You can ask them yourself. Sam, in particular, is proud of his gremlinness,” Victor said. “Anyway, go wake the children. I’m going to prepare them a sacrifice.”

“Stop calling mealtimes sacrifices.”

“Offerings.”

“Still not great, but better.”

With that, they got the children ready, and Arlo dropped Sam and Remi off at school before going into work.

“Arlo, could you help me with something?” Jared questioned.

“What do you need?”

“Just need some extra muscle to move something,” Jared said.

There was something very suspicious about the encounter, but Arlo went with Jared anyway.

Soon enough, the two of them ran into Victor and Aureall, and then Aureall and Jared were locking Victor and Arlo into a closet.

Now, if this had happened to Arlo when he first got a crush on Victor, he’d be embarrassed, but, as it was, he was just enjoying the closeness he had.

“Holy shit, this is so cliche!” Victor laughed.

“I thought they would do something more subtle than just shoving us into a closet,” Arlo said. “You know, like convincing you to dress more nicely.”

“Jared took one look at my outfit and decided they needed to resort to drastic measures,” Victor reasoned. “Besides, they think you’re the most oblivious person in the world.”

“I’m just professional.”

“Sure, professional,” Victor teased. He grabbed ahold of Arlo’s bandana to force him to lean down as Victor brought Arlo into a kiss before letting go. “Alright, so they may have locked us in here, but they did <i>not</i> take away my tools, so, if you give me a minute, I can get us out real quick.”

“Could I get another kiss first?”

“I mean, it’d be a shame to waste an excuse to kiss my husband,” Victor said, and he pulled Arlo into another kiss. “Just one more.”

Victor kissed Arlo a third time, and they finally parted, with Victor grabbing a few tools to fiddle with the doorknob.

Like Victor promised, the door opened very quickly, and they were able to get back to their respective jobs.

And, of course, Aureall and Jared received a scolding from Lyla during lunch about their actions.

“How could you tell on us, Arlo?” Jared dramatically whined, and Lyla was quick to correct him.

“Victor was the one who told me. I guess he’s not a big fan of your interventions.”

“One sec, I gotta go fight Victor,” Aureall announced, but she was quickly stopped by Arlo.

“You already spar with him plenty. Just sit down and finish eating.”

Lyla continued telling off Aureall and Jared, which hopefully meant that the two of them would mind their own business. 

Afterward, Lyla spoke with Arlo.

“You know, I’m surprised Victor would want to put a stop to their shenanigans. He’s been flirting pretty relentlessly with you. You’d think he’d appreciate the help.”

“Victor doesn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, so he’s a big proponent of consent,” Arlo explained.

“Why do you know that?”

“He asked me if I was uncomfortable with his flirting and said he would stop if it did.”

“But he still flirts with you?” Lyla questioned before the realization occurred to her. “Wait, but aren’t you dating him then? Since you’re both clearly interested.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be caught up in my romantic affairs.”

“I, well,” Lyla went pink. “I have an interest in the happiness of my coworkers, and you seem...happier when you’re with Victor.”

“Do I now?” Arlo asked, scratching the back of his head for a moment. He knew he was obvious in how much he loved Victor, but he didn’t think it was <i>that</i> noticeable.

“I still refuse to intervene,” Lyla specified. “But maybe you should ask him out a date or something?”

“I might just do that,” Arlo grinned slightly. “Although maybe I won’t tell Jared or Aureall as a joke.”

“I didn’t expect you to be the type of person to do something like that.”

“Then let’s just say it’s for the sake of professionalism.”

“Then I won’t say anything either when you do ask him out.”

“I’ve actually, kind of, already done so?” Arlo admitted. “There’s a concert happening tomorrow night for a band he likes, and, well, I have tickets.”

“How do you know what bands he likes?” Lyla interrogated.

“You’ve been in there while he works. He’s always singing stuff under his breath.”

“That wasn’t even something I noticed.”

“Oh,” Arlo blushed slightly. “Well, anyway. Don’t tell anyone, alright?”

“You have my word.”

#mtap #my time at portia #mtap arlo #mtap flying pigs #mtap builder #builder victor #ocs