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beautifultypewriter · 1 year

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Boyfriend Material ~ Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin

Requested: No

Warnings: Jerk guy who passively insults reader, bad dates, mentions of sex, nakedness, fwb relationship, language

Word Count: 1,915

Pairing: Jake Seresin x fem!reader

Summary: Reader has a fun game she plays when she ends up on a bad first date. Her friend with benefits, Hangman, is the key piece in the game, but he may take things too far one night.

A/N: I told y’all that I was obsessed with Hangman. This idea hit me like a freight train when I was scrolling TikTok and saw a video of a girl doing a skit about going on a date with a red flag and I had the brilliant idea of doing this to an ass who mistreats you on a date. And Hangman was perfect for it.

First dates could go one of two ways; they could be awkward, filled with long silences and minimal eye contact or they could be downright terrible, filled with bad conversations and rude guys. Though you supposed they could go another way. Really great with both parties clicking and no uncomfortable moments. It had been a long time since you had one of those and it was starting to feel like you were destined to never have one again with the guys you were picking.

The one currently sat across from you was definitely one of the ‘not getting a second date’ type. Not that he seemed to realize it as he continued to talk about himself, barely pausing to take a breath. You pursed your lips as he smirked at you. Something stupid is about to come out of his mouth.

“You know, I was a little apprehensive about tonight because I usually go for the model types,” you breathed out slowly and he was quick to hold his hands up, “but you’re attractive too.” He winked at you, and it took everything in you not to roll your eyes at him. Though you were sure he wouldn’t have noticed if you had because now he was talking about his ex-girlfriend. You reached for your glass of water, completely ignoring the glass of red wine that he had ordered for you. You don’t drink red wine. He chuckled, “Yeah, she was totally crazy. Dodged that bullet.” He pulled his phone out, firing off some text messages as he ignored you. Plates of food were set in front of the pair of you and not even that pulled his eyes away from the screen of his phone. You scoffed, pulling your own phone out and clicking on the top conversation thread in your messages. Your text was simple, a time, the name of the restaurant that you were at, and a black heart emoji. The reply was instant, a thumbs up. You smirked to yourself, picking up your fork and digging into the meal in front of you. At least the steak was good. Your date chose that moment to pick up his fork and launch into another one of his work stories. Forcing a smile at him, you nodded along, wondering what kind of seasoning they put on your mashed potatoes.

The waiter had asked if you cared for dessert and your date had answered that you didn’t need any and he asked for the check. After he had paid, he led you out of the restaurant, stopping and turning to face you on the sidewalk. He smiled as he leaned closer, an attempt to charm you, you supposed, “You want to head back to my place? I’ve got a nice bottle of wine. We could talk some more.” As his hand reached out to stroke your arm, you grit your teeth, preparing your reply.

It never came though as an arm wrapped around your shoulders and a low voice spoke near your ear, “Hey, babe.”

Your eyes lit up as you turned to grin at the newcomer, “Jake.” He grinned back at you, his lips pressing against your cheek quickly. Your date looked between the two of you, his eyes moving faster than you thought possible. His chest puffed out and he stepped forward, his hand pushing his hair back. You looked over at him, your smile turning sickly sweet, “Oh, it was really nice meeting you, Tim, but I don’t think this is going to work out.” Your eyes met Jake’s again and you could see him barely able to contain his laughter.

The man’s shoulders sagged, as his arm dropped to his side and he recoiled, “It’s Jim.”

You half turned back to your date, “Right. Thanks for the dinner.” Jake spun you around and the two of you started walking down the sidewalk, away from the restaurant and the bad date.

Jake pulled you closer, “Your place or mine?” He quickly glanced back to see Jim still standing in the same spot, watching the two of you walk away, frown on his face. Jake chuckled. He couldn’t deny that he loved when you sent those black heart texts. Poor bastards had no idea on what they were missing out on. He didn’t think about it too much though because he was glad to be the guy picking you up from your failed dates.

Tapping your finger against your chin, you pretended to think about it, “Mine’s closer.” Jake nodded and the two of you continued down the sidewalk, the same small talk that you two always engaged in flowing between you two easily. The two of you fell into the same pattern with no difficulty at all. The game was easy because it didn’t require anything deeper than the friendship the two of you shared and your friendship was easy. It had been from the moment the two of you first met.

The pair of you continued down the sidewalk, turning onto your street. Your footsteps got quicker without your notice, and you were at your building in no time. Jake released your shoulders as you grabbed your keys from your bag and unlocked the front door. Stepping into the lobby, Jake followed, his arm going around your shoulders once more as you waited for the elevator. The doors opened and he gently guided you in, pressing the button for your floor without looking. His attention was solely on you as you leaned against the back wall, one hand resting on the railing there. Jake smirked as he moved gracefully into your space, his hand resting next to your head and his face moving close to yours. With a smirk, you moved your free hand to rest on his shoulder as his body pressed close to yours, heat radiating between the two of you. Just as his lips were about to touch yours, a loud cough caused the two of you to pull apart. Jake took a step back and spun around to see your neighbor stepping slowly into the elevator. He smiled as he leaned against the wall next to you, his arm brushing against yours. You smiled at the woman, “Mrs. Freeman.” She hummed as she nodded to you, her eyes flickering between you and Jake, a smirk growing on her wrinkled face. The elevator ride was quiet as you watched the numbers going up, trying to ignore Jake’s eyes on you. When your floor dinged, you waved quickly to Mrs. Freeman before you grabbed Jake’s hand and pulled him down the hall to your apartment, your keys in your free hand.

As soon as the door to your apartment was opened, Jake’s lips were on yours. He gently pushed you in to your home, kicking the door shut behind him. His lips never left yours as the two of you took the familiar path to your bedroom, your clothes mixing with his in piles on the wooden floors.

Pulling the sheet up over your chest, you turned your head to smile at Jake. He was on his back, looking up at the ceiling with a small smile on his face. When he felt your gaze, he turned to look at you, his smile growing. You giggled as you leaned closer to him, “Tonight might not have started out so great, but it definitely ended very nicely.” He pecked your lips before you pulled away, sitting up and reaching your arms above your head. Jake watched the muscles in your back stretch, and he reached over to rub gentle circles on your exposed skin. You sighed, leaning back into his touch, and readjusting the sheet. He watched your muscles relax as he continued his ministrations, and another sigh passed your lips.

“How about you let me take you out?” He wasn’t sure where the words had come from, but they were in the air now and he found that he didn’t mind it, even as the silence stretched.

Your head turned to the side, so that you could see him from the corner of your eye, “On a date?” He nodded and you laughed, “A real date?”

He nodded again, his voice even, “Yeah.”

You turned at the waist, your eyebrows raised, “Why?” He was still laying there, wholly unbothered, one hand behind his head as he looked up at you like he didn’t completely change the entire game. The entire friendship.

With one half-hearted shrug, he glanced to the ceiling, “To have a nice time. To go on more dates.” He turned his gaze to you again, giving you a quick wink, “Hell, maybe I’ll even become your boyfriend.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you as he grinned.

It felt like the temperature of the room had gone up 20 degrees and you wondered if fanning yourself would have been odd. Instead you scoffed, turning back around to face the window, “You don’t wanna date me.” You swallowed hard, hoping he couldn’t see what was going on in your head.

It was his turn to scoff as his hand dropped away from your back. Had he been drawing the circles this entire time? You pressed a hand to your forehead as he answered you, “What do you mean I don’t want to date you? I just asked, didn’t I?” It couldn’t be controlled, a laugh forced its way out of your mouth, hanging in the air for a moment.

Regaining your train of thought, you shook your head, “No because if you dated me and became my boyfriend then you’d have to do boyfriend things.” You turned back to him, fixing him with a pointed stare, your head tilted slightly as you watched the gears turn in his head.

“Like what?”

“Like,” you looked up to the ceiling, several thoughts swirling through your head until you landed on one, “going to work parties with me.” You nodded as he grinned at you, “You’d have to send me good morning texts and go to brunch with my sister and her husband. You would have to buy me flowers and listen to me rant about my bad days at work. Have dinner with my parents. Those are boyfriend things.” Jake’s eyebrows furrowed as you leaned closer, your voice dropping to a whisper and your eyes narrowing, “You hate boyfriend things.” You had him. You knew you did.

He stared up at you, his mouth set in a straight line and his voice low, “Not if they’re for you.”

Pulling back from him, you moved closer to the edge of the bed, “Jake…”

As he noticed your retreat, he shot up, the sheet bunching at his waist, “No, just hear me out. Please.” You sighed, but nodded to him. He held his hands out, moving them slightly as he spoke, “One date. One real date, that’s all I ask.” Pursing your lips, you stared at him, mulling over his request. He smiled as he saw the lines forming on your forehead, “And if I’m not boyfriend material then we forget this whole thing ever happened.”

Pursing your lips, you nodded, “Okay.” He grinned as he reached forward, his hand resting gently on your neck. He pressed a kiss to your lips, and you quickly pulled back, your hand resting on his chest, “One date.” He nodded before pulling you into another kiss, leaning back and bringing you to the mattress with him. You giggled as he peppered your face with kisses.

#hangman x reader #hangman imagine #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin x reader #top gun imagine #top gun: maverick imagine #top gun x reader

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queenshelby · 8 months

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Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART 27: RESIGNATION

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Lots of Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Pregnancy Loss, Infertility

One week later

One week passed, and you finally left the hospital after missing work and school, putting you behind with the curriculum.

During this time, Emma was looking after you, calling in sick from work herself and even Nina visited you twice, once with Connie and once with Cillian, who politely waited outside.

Seeing him still bothered you, and you were not over the fact that he had slept with his assistant, who, you knew, had it out for him, and this did not make it easy on you. You were disgusted by the sheer thought of it, him pleasuring her the way he pleasured you.

You felt disgusted, and you wondered whether he enjoyed it. Did he want her? Was she better than you in bed? She was older, sure. But was she more experienced? The answer was probably yes.

After telling Emma about these thoughts, she told you to try and forget about him. Being an actor probably made him a player, and you may have dodged a bullet when he broke up with you.

“He is not worth your tears,” she reminded you before embracing you. She had been your best friend for life, and you knew she was probably right.

You had to forget about Cillian, regardless of how hard it was or how much you were still in love with him. He was twice your age as well, and he was famous, both matters which could create much trouble for you in the future.

***

While trying to forget about Cillian, you spent most of the weekend catching up on reading the play Enda Walsh had given you to prepare for, and this play, too, reminded you of Cillian.

It was one of his own, called Disco Pigs, and you knew that this was Cillian’s first ever on-stage performance after he had dropped out of law school when he was just 19 years old.

“Christ, why?” you cursed as you put the book aside for the night, and Emma, again, reminded you that this, too, would pass.

“Try not to think of him”, she told you, but this was easier said than done as you missed him a lot and wondered whether he missed you too.

***

After a while, you got some sleep, and then, the following day, you went to school early to address your dispute with James.

James, however, tried to avoid you, and it wasn’t until you asked him whether two could talk that he pulled you aside, and you had the chance to confront him.

“Save it. I won’t say anything to anyone,” James told you before you could say anything yourself. He was squirming, and his reaction surprised you.

“Great, but why the change of mind?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“Your boyfriend’s lawyer sent me a letter, but I am sure you already know that,” he told you, causing you to grin.

“No…well yes…maybe I did” You smirked while James shook his head in disbelief and told you he was embarrassed for you.

“I did see the article in the Irish Times, though,” James thus pointed out, explaining that your lover was a player, and you simply fell for his charm like a silly young girl.

“We aren’t together, James,” you felt the need to point out, but James simply shrugged it off and disappeared into the crowds. He no longer cared, and you found out later that day that he was seeing an old friend of yours.

***

Following your day at drama school, you finally went to dance school to teach the evening class. A new teacher had run the course in your absence, but you knew you could still supervise your students and review their routines even though you were not allowed to perform. You had not healed yet and were instructed to wait at least two weeks before resuming any exercise.

When you arrived at the facility, you were asked to see your employer immediately and wondered what this was all about.

You did not think that you had done anything wrong but had a bad feeling in the pits of your stomach as soon as you walked into his office.

Your employer had a stern look and asked you to sit down. A small manila folder was sitting on his desk, staring at you, and you could not help but ask whether you were in trouble.

“For a matter of fact, you are,” your boss said, and your chin dropped while anxiety filled your mind.

“What did I do?” you asked, thinking that it was because you were absent for the past week.

“It came to our attention that you had an intimate relationship with one of our student’s parents,” your employer exclaimed, and you inhaled sharply. Sweat was now building up on your forehead, and your hands started to fidget nervously. You did not know how to respond, and there was silence for a long minute.

“Of course, you have nothing to say to this, do you?” your employer asked, and you told him quickly that you regretted your intimate relationship with the student’s father.

“The problem is two-fold, Miss Y/LN. Firstly, Mr Murphy has a certain standing in the community, being an actor subject to much publicity. Secondly, he is not divorced yet, and we are, as you know, an institution funded by the Catholic Church,” your employer lectured you, seeing that the academy was attached to one of the best schools in Dublin, which, of course, being in Ireland, happened to be catholic.

“I understand, and I can guarantee you that this affair was short-lived”, you reassured your employer, who handed you a three-page document entitled “Non-Disclosure Agreement”.

“That may be the case; however, we have already found a replacement teacher for you, and your services here will no longer be needed,” your boss told you, to which you shook your head.

“You can’t just fire me,” you told him, but he begged to differ.

“I can because your intimate relationship with Mr Murphy constitutes misconduct in the workplace. But, I would much rather ask you to voluntarily resign and sign this agreement which will entitle you to redundancy pay of six weeks’ worth of wages,” your boss told you while handing you a ballpoint pen.

For a minute, you considered telling him to get lost. Still, then you read the agreement, which prevented you from speaking to the press about your relationship with Cillian and prevented him from doing the same. In addition, your employer could not issue you with a bad reference because of it, which you knew he would do if you did not sign and voluntarily walked away from your job.

“You see, Miss Y/LN, neither us nor Mr Murphy has any interest in making this public,” your employer told you as you considered your options, taking your time.

“You have spoken to him?” you asked, surprised. You did not expect Cillian to take likely to such a threat.

“No, but I have spoken to his assistant about it, and she concurred”, your boss informed you, causing you to laugh.

“Of course, she concurred”, you chuckled before putting pen to taper. You knew you had no choice, and, at least this way, you were getting paid.

After signing the agreement, you packed up your things and left, tears streaming down your face. You loved teaching these excellent students you had, and now, all of this was coming to an end.

You were not even given a chance to say goodbye to your students, and, just as your boss’s secretary saw you out the door, some of the parents stared at you, being escorted out of the building like some criminal.

You wondered who did this to you, and, in the end, it did not matter. Your short-lived fling with Cillian slowly destroyed your life, and you regretted every moment.

It was your fault. Getting involved with him was wrong; now, you must face the consequences.

***

Unfortunately, you were not the only one to suffer from this, and just as the class commenced without you, the parents began to gossip while their children started to listen.

According to one of the mothers, she had been told by your employer’s secretary that you were fired because you slept with one of the parents.

“He is married too,” she whispered, causing Cillian’s wife, Lorraine, to chuckle.

“How typical of these young women. She is probably after money,” Danielle whispered without knowing who it was you had slept with.

Only Connie decided not to engage in the conversation, telling the others that she did not like to spread unsubstantiated rumours, and it was then that Danielle tried to catch her out.

“It may have been Dermont”, she teased, causing Connie to laugh.

“Uhm, if my husband could land the girls’ dance teacher, I would even go so far as to congratulate him on his achievement, but no, it is not Dermont. I am sure of it,” Connie chuckled, seeing that Danielle was trying to get under her skin.

“Maybe it was Cillian?” another one of the mothers then said, now teasing Danielle, who, too, began to laugh and brushed it off.

“Doubtful. My soon-to-be ex-husband is shagging his assistant, just as I had suspected all those years. Also, this rag of a dance teacher is not his type,” Danielle spat, and it was obvious to the other women who were present that she was still somewhat upset that her husband had moved on with his assistant.

“I suppose we will never find out, so how about we just leave it at that,” Connie said as she began to notice the children listening in; even though Nina was not nearby, she did not want this kind of gossip to be spread amongst the students.

***

Following a rather eventful and unpleasant evening at the dance academy, Nina threw her bag and shoes into the boot of her mother’s car, and it was apparent to Danielle that her daughter was angry and confused.

Danielle knew that Nina liked you and, with that in mind, tried to comfort her in the best possible way.

“It’s all right; you will get used to having someone else teach you. I know you liked Y/N, but she resigned, so there is not much you can do about it,” Danielle explained as they got into the car and drove to Cillian’s house, where Nina would stay for the next three nights.

“She did not resign. She got fired,” Nina pointed out angrily while playing around on her phone and texting you to see whether you were all right. After turning fourteen, she had recently joined Instagram and Facebook and added you as a friend across these platforms, occasionally sharing links with you to dance performances she liked.

“What makes you say that?” Danielle wondered before asking Nina to look at her and get off her phone.

“Oh god, Mum, I am not stupid. I heard the gossip,” Nina told her mother, who was worried about what she may have heard.

“So you know what happened?” she thus asked, gauging the situation.

“Yes, I know what happened, but I don’t know why,” Nina told her mother before accusing her of being the culprit. “Did you tell the academy? Because it seems like something you would do to get back at Dad. It’s just like the stupid court orders he had to get to see me,” Nina spat, telling her mother how upset she had been with these events.

“What are you talking about?” Danielle asked as she pulled the car over in shock.

“What I am talking about is that you did not like the fact that Dad was dating Y/N, so you had her fired. Because all you care about is yourself,” Nina accused, causing her mother’s chin to drop.

“Your dad was dating your dance teacher?” she asked, and Nina quickly realised she screwed up. Her mother did not know, causing Nina to curse and cover her mouth with her hands.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy fanfic

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hoedamn-eron · 9 months

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baby, please - part 7

You go to your first OBGYN appointment, and you're thrown a curveball. A huge, unexpected curveball.

Warnings: Mentions of being sick, so emetophobia warning. Abortion mentions (I am personally pro-choice). Mentions of adoption (reader gives her reasons to not go down this route, but that doesn't reflect my opinions on the matter). Swearing. A little angsty. Long chapter, because a lot happens. Barely proofread. Word count: 4,943 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

May or may not have used the Sims to determine the results of this pregnancy. If anyone wants to know what a pregnancy wheel is, it's one of these. They're used to estimate a due date from your last period.

Part 6 ● Series Masterlist ● Part 8

You woke up on Wednesday morning feeling both nervous and excited. You checked your emails from your bed, just making sure you had the correct time for your appointment later, that no last-minute changes had been made. You would probably check again later in the day, just to definitely make sure.

You and Santi had been texting on and off since you met with him on Friday. You had told him, again, that there was no pressure to go to the appointment later today, but he said he would be there. You sent him a text as you got ready for your day, reminding him of the address to the OB’s office, and to just double check he was still wanting to go. You didn’t expect a reply until later, since he would already be at work.

You chose to wear more comfortable pants than usual, that were only just appropriate for business attire. You had been quite bloated the last few days and had to sit at your desk with your pants undone to feel just the slightest bit of comfort. And your boobs had started to hurt. And your morning sickness seemed to have doubled in the last week. So far, being pregnant had been a miserable experience for you.

You arrived in work, sending a quick hello to Emily, who merely hummed back at you.

That was odd.

You gave her an odd look, but she was busy typing away at her computer, evidently ignoring you. You raised your eyebrows before turning to your own computer, logging in and checking your emails. Your new client was giving a new launch date for their clothing line six months away, a somewhat lenient deadline in your line of work, but you would take it with a pinch of salt. Nothing ever goes to plan.

“Did you know George and Juliet were a thing?”

Ah. So that’s what was bothering her.

You shake your head, not looking at Emily as you answered, “No I did not.”

“They didn’t think to tell me. I asked George out and he told me he just saw me as a friend, which is fine, but he could have at least told me that him and Juliet were together!” she groaned, burying her head in her hands. “I talked about him to Juliet all the time.”

“Well, maybe you’ve dodged a bullet there.” Emily looks at you with a confused look on her face. “If they were both willing to not tell you the truth, then they’re not the kind of people you want to associate yourself with, regardless of your feelings for George.”

Emily stared at you for a minute before she scoffed, pulling a face. “That’s dumb, I’m not taking advice from a woman who is constantly single.”

Ouch. You feel the hurt tears flood your eyes as you look back at your monitor.

You understood Emily didn’t mean it in a hostile way. You had always joked about your love life, it was a known fact. But that comment just hit you differently today. It must be your hormones. Or the fact that you were pregnant, and you were single, no partner, a small apartment, and your life has just thrown you a curveball. Your body is unbalanced, and it’s putting all of its energy into creating a small jellybean –

“Shit, I didn’t mean it.”

You look at Emily, taking in her shocked look. Your brow furrowed before you realised that you had been crying; your tears were flowing down your cheeks, and you hadn’t realised it. You touched your face, seeing your wet fingertips before you hurriedly wiped them away. “No, no, Emily, don’t worry about it, it wasn’t you.”

“I’m really sorry – “

You waved your hand at her. “I’m due on my period, I’m probably just sensitive.”

Emily apologised again, before standing and claiming she was going to make you both some coffees, to make it up to you. You muttered a small thanks before turning back to your monitor, but you weren’t really taking in your emails.

Emily was right. You were single. How were you going to raise a child alone? Santi was still undecided on what he wanted to do, and even thought you know your friends will help you out in any way, but they could only do so much. Your lifestyle was going to change dramatically, meaning you wouldn’t have the freedom to just arrange a lunch with your friends, have your wine nights; your schedule would revolve around a baby. You could kiss dating goodbye too, because there was no way any single guys wanted someone who already had a baby.

Oh God, you would become some child’s snack bitch.

You were brought out of your reverie as Emily placed a coffee filled mug in front of you. You gave her a small thank you, before picking it up and taking a sip.

“You look a little pale,” Emily said, taking her seat opposite you. “Have you been to the doctor? You’ve been unwell since the launch.”

You hesitate for a moment before giving a nod. Technically you weren’t lying. “I have an appointment after work.”

“Oh good, I thought I was going to have to force you down and make the appointment for you.”

You give a weak chuckle, before taking another sip of your coffee. The anxiety sat in your chest, feeling like a vice. Your leg started bouncing under your desk. You just needed to get through today, that’s all. You could make notes and questions for your OB later, that’ll help. You were just nervous.

That’s all. Just nervous.

By lunch time, you still hadn’t heard from Santi. As you sat down to eat your sandwich, you ignored that feeling that was still in your chest and sent him another text asking if everything was okay. He might just be really busy. He might have gone on his lunch yet. You distracted yourself by looking for lunch places for Saturday, sending a few menu options in the group chat to get everyone’s opinions.

As four-thirty arrived, and the bouncing in your leg just got worse, you gathered your things and shut down your computer. You give Emily a quick goodbye, and a ‘see you tomorrow’, before knocking on Harriet’s door to let her know you were on your way out. She waved you off, busy on a phone call.

You quickly leave the building, making your way to the parking lot which housed your car. You climb in, just taking a moment. You check your phone, seeing Santi still hadn’t replied to your texts. You took a shaky breath before texting him one last time, letting him know you were on your way to the doctor’s office, and to hopefully see him there, but as his silence throughout the day wore on, you weren’t holding on for much.

You take a few more deep breaths before you finally start your car, making your way to your OBGYN. You hit a bit of traffic, which was why you left an entire hour before your appointment. Your leg starts shaking again as you sit, surrounded by other cars. You start to think about the other people in their cars; are they currently going through something tough? Did they have a good support system? Do they talk to their family on a regular basis? Were they celebrating anything in their personal lives? Any marriages? Any children? Maybe they’d just bought their first house.

You shake your head as traffic begins moving again. You can’t think about other people right now, you have your own things to worry about.

You arrive to your appointment ten minutes early. You wait around for a minute, wondering if Santi would just turn up and apologise for being MIA all day and not confirming, but once it came to going inside, he was nowhere to be found. And still nothing from your texts.

You try not to cry, really, but you couldn’t blame him. He’d obviously gotten cold feet and changed his mind. He could have let you know though, instead of you just waiting on him all day.

You make your way inside the doctor’s office, your nerves easing a bit as the receptionist gave you a smile as she greets you. You give your name, and she hands over a clipboard with some paperwork to fill out and tells you to take a seat. You sit down, your leg immediately bouncing again, as you look at the paperwork. It looked standard, any medical conditions, previous pregnancies, any past medical procedures. You consented to a blood test before handing the forms back to the receptionist, who told you that your OB would be with you soon.

You heave a sigh as you sit back in your seat.

You take a look around at the other parents in the room. Some were filling out their own forms, some were talking to their partners who they had come with, and some were minding their own business and scrolling through their phones. No-one looked nervous to be there, or worried. You take a look at your phone, seeing that you had a text from Courtney wishing you luck. You suck in your lips to stop yourself from crying as you type out a thank you. You hesitate before you send another saying Santi didn’t show up.

It was a few seconds later when Courtney replied that it was his loss. Did you want her to be there?

Before you could reply, your name was called. You look up with wide eyes to your OB, who was smiling kindly at you. “Are you ready to come through?”

You hesitate a moment before you nod, and you stand, sending another text to Courtney to say it’s fine, you were already going in for your appointment. You follow your OB, who introduced herself at Jennifer, into an examination room, before she offered you a seat by her desk. You placed your bag on the floor and took off your jacket, placing it on the back of the chair before sitting down. She sat at her desk, reading your chart and paperwork before she finally turned to you. “So, this is your first appointment? Do you have an idea on how many weeks you might be?”

You hadn’t really thought about it. You weren’t one to track your periods. “Uh, I’m not sure.”

“When was the first day of your last period?”

“I’m not sure. Beginning of last month, maybe?”

Jennifer nods at you, before making a note of it on your chart. She checks a pregnancy wheel and nods then looks back up at you. “That would put you for a due date for beginning of February. We can do an ultrasound and take a look and see exactly where you are.”

Your eyes widen. “An ultrasound?”

Jennifer nodded at you. “Yes. It’s a chance to see how well baby is growing and to check the heartbeat. Is that something you would be interested in?”

You stare at her, your breathing laboured. You didn’t think you would be seeing the baby today. You didn’t prepare yourself for this. You were alone, and everything was being thrown at you at once. Were you sure you even wanted to see the baby? What if you decided to get rid of it? What if –

“You don’t need to answer right now. We can do your blood work, do a urine test, and we'll go from there, okay?” she gives you a friendly smile.

You nod shakily as you hold out your arm to Jennifer, who takes your blood pressure before she hands you a little cup, asking you to fill it in the adjoined bathroom. You take the cup and go to the bathroom. You took a moment to gather yourself. You needed to calm down. Santi not showing up wasn’t going to change anything. Sure, it would have been nice to have his support, but if you decided to keep the baby and Santi didn’t want any involvement, this may be how it goes from now on.

You do your business in the cup before washing your hands and walking out, prepared to pass over the cup, but you freeze, your eyes widening. Santi stood by the door, breathless, his hands on his hips as he caught his breath. He wore a cap on his head, navy blue, some team you didn’t recognise. He was wearing a fitted t-shirt, and a damn good-looking pair of jeans. He looked at you, a guilty look on his face. “I’m sorry, my phone died this morning, and I lost track of time through the day, I didn’t forget, really – “

You slowly nod, still shocked that he showed up. You didn’t miss Jennifer’s sly look between the two of you, her eyebrows raised. “No, it’s…it’s fine, I just thought…”

You go quiet, the indication of your meaning hanging in the air. Santi shook his head. “No. I said I’d be here.”

After a few moments, where you and Santi were just staring at each other, Jennifer reached over, plucking the cup from your hands, shocking you back to look at her. “I’ll test this, then let’s take your bloods, shall we? Then we can talk about the ultrasound.”

“Ultrasound? We’re doing that today?” Santi asked, his eyes widening.

“W-well, I hadn’t decided yet.”

“Let’s just get blood first, and out of the way,” Jennifer said, motioning to your seat to sit down. She turned to Santi. “Daddy, you can have a seat over there.”

You hear Santi’s breath hitch as Jennifer called him ‘daddy’. Your heart skipped a beat as Santiago walked by you and took a seat at the second chair by the examination table. Jennifer cleared her throat, before testing your cup with a strip of paper. She explained it was to check your protein levels. Jennifer then requested to take a blood sample from you. You looked away, catching Santi’s eye. He was watching you, and he gave you a small, closed lipped smile.

Once your blood was taken, Jennifer asked you some general questions about your mental health, and about Santi’s, and what kind of support systems you both had at home. She wrote down the answers before looking up at you and sending a gentle smile. “So, have you taken a look at your options for today?”

You gulped before you glanced at Santi before you both nodded. “This wasn’t planned, we’re not even together.”

“Ah,” Jennifer said, sending you both a grin. “Right. What have you discussed?”

You look at Santi again before answering. “Termination, very briefly. We didn’t really talk about what our situation was going to be if we decided to go through with it.”

“What about adoption?”

You shook your head, and you saw Santiago sit up just a bit straighter in his chair at the question. “I did think about it, but I’m really not comfortable knowing that I grew a child, and they would just be…out there…it wasn’t for me.”

Jennifer nodded. “Okay. Well, according to the chart you’re still very early, so you have time to decide. Would you like to have an ultrasound?”

You look at Santi, your expression nervous. “What do you want to do?”

He looked back at you just as cautiously. Having an ultrasound made this incredibly real. Sure, you had all the symptoms of a pregnancy, and you had four positive pregnancy tests that definitely indicated a pregnancy, but seeing it on a screen, seeing an actual foetus, was completely different. Santi might not want to do it. He’d even said he never thought he would be a dad, that that ship had sailed, and he wasn’t hanging on it.

But you have been thinking more about this baby, and the situation you’re in. You were still so conflicted with yourself, and you weren't sure if you were ready for a baby, unsure if you had the means or the space to provide for another life. Thoughts of terminating the pregnancy still danced around in your head, but deep down, a small flicker of curiosity burned within you.

“I think I…I think I want to see.”

Santi let out a big breath before nodding. “Okay.”

“Great!” said Jennifer, smiling at you. “I’ll just go and send your blood off, and we can take a look.”

You nod at her as she stands, leaving the room for a moment, leaving you and Santi alone. The air felt thick with the tension between the two of you. You open your mouth to tell him that you didn’t have to do this, that you could both walk out now, go somewhere else to talk more about this, but he beat you to it, “Sorry I was late. It really wasn’t intentional.”

You close your mouth, looking down at the floor. “It’s fine, Santi.”

You both go into a deafening silence, and it kills you. You know your situation wasn’t ideal, but it really shouldn’t be this awkward between the two of you. You missed the laidback Santiago, the one you met on your date. You don’t think you’ve seen Santiago genuinely smile since that night. You hated seeing him like this.

You both looked up quickly when Jennifer walked in, a smile on her face, obviously not sensing the anxiety in the room. “Let’s see this baby then!”

You ready yourself on the examination table, Santi sat next to you as Jennifer set up the monitor, sitting in her own chair. Santi leaned his elbows on his knees, his mouth covered by his hands as his eyes trained on the blank screen.

“Any symptoms?”

“Oh, you know, the usual,” you quip, lightly sarcastic as you lay back and stare at the ceiling, lifting your shirt. “Sore boobs, sore head, sore everything. Lots of throwing up. Surprised I haven’t done it since coming here.”

“Well, I’ve always said lots of morning sickness is good,” said Jennifer, motioning you to lift your shirt. “Means your hormones are high and baby is growing. This’ll be cold.”

You hiss through your teeth as the gel hit your skin. Jennifer gives you an apologetic look before she placed the wand on your abdomen. You feel a mix of anxiety and anticipation. This was it, it was happening. You watch the screen, not really knowing what was up and what was down, until…there it was. A mixture of excitement and fear swirls within you as you await the first glimpse of your growing child.

As the image starts to appear on the monitor, your heart skips a beat. There, on the screen, is a tiny form, a blurry silhouette that holds the promise of a future. You see the flicker of a heartbeat, strong and steady, and a rush of overwhelming emotion surges through you. In that very moment, as you gaze at the grainy image, a wave of love washes over you like nothing you've ever experienced before.

“Fuck,” Santiago muttered. You look at him with wide eyes as he cringes, looking at Jennifer. “Sorry.”

Jennifer lightly chucked. “It’s fine. I’ve had all sorts of reactions in here, yours is one of the tame ones.”

You look back at the screen. The doubts and uncertainties that clouded your mind only moments ago seem to fade away, replaced by an indescribable connection to this tiny being within you. Tears well up in your eyes as you realize the magnitude of what you are witnessing. This is your baby, your flesh and blood, and the thought of letting go feels impossible now. Suddenly, all the reasons why you thought you couldn't have a baby seem insignificant. The space, the finances, the fears, they all fade into the background; you’ll find solutions as a newfound determination surges within you. You make a silent promise to yourself and to your baby that you will find a way, that you will create a loving and nurturing environment, no matter what challenges lie ahead.

“Do twins run in your families?”

Your head snaps to Jennifer, as she gives you a pointed look. You know what that means. “What? No! What?”

“I think there might be two.”

“What? No way,” you shake your head, looking at Santi, who was looking like all the blood had rushed from his face as he looked at Jennifer. You look back Jennifer. “Tell us there’s only one.”

Jennifer frowned at the screen as she moved the wand a little more to the left, before she pressed a button on the keyboard, pausing the screen. She removed the wand and turned the screen a little more to face you and Santiago. “Nope. There’s two, look.” She pointed to identical, blurred blobs, both surrounded by dark space. “Looks like they might be in two separate sacks, but it’s a little early to be able to tell but we can look at your next ultrasound.”

You couldn’t reply. You were just staring, open mouthed at the screen. There was no way you were pregnant with twins. No way. No way. You had just accepted that you were going to keep the baby, why all of a sudden is there now two?

Jennifer pressed the button again, before placing the wand back to your stomach. She found another angle to get both babies in frame, pressing a few buttons which took a screenshot before moving around again. “This will explain the amount of morning sickness you’re having. Heartbeats look very strong, very steady.”

“Oh God,” you breathe, still looking at the screen.

Jennifer measured the babies, before taking another screenshot. “You look to be about seven weeks along, so you're just ending your first half of your first trimester. They look a good size, no big developments happening. Your eighth week is when we would like you to come in again. It's a big developmental stage from then on.”

Jennifer took one last screenshot before handing you some tissues. You grab them, still in shock, as you wipe away the gel on your stomach and pull your shirt down. All those uncertain feelings came rushing back, leaving you breathless. The panicky feeling was tight in your chest, and your hands were shaking. You glance over at Santi, who was still sat silently in his chair, staring ahead of him, evidently lost in thought. You reached over to hold his hand. He flinched away, before giving you an apologetic look and holding your hand tightly.

“We’ll figure this out,” you said, the shake in your voice betraying your true feelings. “It’s not what we expected but we’ll get through it.”

Santi lightly shook his head. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this. Two babies?”

Jennifer looked between the two of you, deciding that you could do with a moment to talk. She told you she was going to print off your pictures and left the room again, leaving the two of you in silence. Santi released your hand to bury his face in his hands. You gave him the space he needed, trying to get your own thoughts in check.

You could have handled one baby. Sure, you would need to move out of your apartment anyway, at some point, but now that you’re going to need double the stuff, it was going to have to be a lot sooner than planned. What would the living situation be? Would Santiago want to move in with you? You almost scoff; definitely not. And chances are higher now that you would need a c-section…that’s six weeks off your feet, for healing. Santi can’t be around all the time. Other people have lives.

You didn’t realise you had started crying until Santiago had reached over to land a hand on your knee, his concerned gaze looking at you. You couldn’t hold back the sobs as you took him in, shaking your head at him, not knowing what to say. He stood, quickly muttering words of comfort to you, bringing you into his arms. You immediately accepted the comfort, the first bit of warmth and security you’d received since finding out you were pregnant.

“I don't even know where to start. This is going to change everything,” you cry through your sobs.

“Everything was going to change anyway,” replied Santiago, his hands rubbing up and down your back.

“I can’t do this,” you said, burying yourself into his shoulder. You shook your head. “I don’t have the space for two babies, I don’t have the money for two babies, how am I supposed to raise two children when I’m single? I’m alone.”

“Hey, cariño, you’re not alone.” He cupped your cheek, causing you to look at him through your watery gaze. He leans his forehead on yours, giving you an intense look. “We’ll figure it out. It’s going to be okay.”

“How is this going to be okay when you don’t even know what you want to do?” you snap at him.

You regret the words the instant they left your mouth.

A knock on the door causes the two of you to suddenly pull apart, looking over to see Jennifer open the door and pop her head in, giving you a sympathetic look at the tears streaming down your face. You wipe aggressively at your tears as she holds up the ultrasound pictures. “These are for you. I’ve taken the liberty to arrange your next appointment for two weeks’ time. Just another check-up, we can talk about what steps you want to take next.”

You nod, hopping down from the examination bed. You grab your bag and jacket, taking the photos from Jennifer, looking down at them. Yup, still two blobs.

Not blobs. Babies.

Santi calls your name, seeing that you were stood alone in the exam room. You held the photos to your chest as you walk out the room, Santi holding the door open. You give him a weak ‘thank you’, walking to reception again to sign yourself out, and to confirm your next appointment. You step out into the warm air, for once happy to be outside, and not confined to being indoors. You look up as Santi followed you out, his hands in his pockets as he looked at you.

You frowned, your earlier words coming to the forefront of your mind. “I’m sorry – “

“Don’t.” he shook his head at you.

“It was really uncalled for, I don’t want to pressure you – “

“You’re not pressuring me into anything.”

You stand together for a moment, your eyes looking back at the pictures in your hands. You go through them, reliving the moment that Jennifer confirmed it was twins. You couldn’t believe it. Two of them. Two of half of you. You were growing two babies. Two bassinets, two cribs, a double pram, two car seats, two of everything.

Could you do this? It didn’t seem like it five minutes ago. You felt like you had made peace with the fact that you were pregnant but then you were thrown yet another curveball.

A big, huge, curveball.

But you’ve handled curveballs. You’ve handled difficult situations with your head held high and you’ve come out on top. You thought you were in a better position than others that were unexpectedly pregnant; you had a roof over your head, a steady income, a car, and your friends. Sure, it would be double the effort, but when had you ever turned out a bit of hard work?

With a newfound strength, knowing that the path ahead won't be easy, you look at Santiago. You are ready to embrace this pregnancy with all your heart. The love that blossomed within you in that fleeting moment during the ultrasound propelled you forward into the unknown.

“I’m keeping them.”

Santiago looked at you, who had been warily watching you at your silence. He had an unreadable look on his face.

You took his silence as a sign to continue. “I can start looking for a new place. I have some decent savings; I can use that as a deposit. I could work from home if I needed to, so I won’t really be struggling. I have my friends, they’ll help out.” You give a light shrug. “I don’t want you to do this if you don’t want to. We can go our separate ways, right now, and pretend we never met.”

Santiago stared at you for a moment. “Pretend we never met?”

Your heart broke then and there, but you tried to keep it from showing on your face. You nod. “Like it never happened.”

Santiago nodded, before he turned away and started lightly pacing, not looking back at you. You watched him, fully prepared for him to suddenly turn around and leave, never looking back at you. You wouldn’t stop him, no matter how much you wanted to.

But he surprised you.

Santiago stopped, throwing his head back for a moment and closing his eyes before he turned around and stared at you for a moment before he nodded. “Let’s do this.”

“What?” you asked.

“Let’s become parents.”

Your eyes lit up at him. “Really?”

“Really.”

You couldn’t help it. You smiled widely at him, throwing yourself at him and hugging him tightly, almost squealing with happiness as he chuckled at you. After a few moments you pulled away and excitedly handed him an ultrasound.

He took it with no hesitation, looking down at it before he inhaled through his teeth, looking between you and the photo. “Two babies?”

“Two babies,” you breathe.

Santi stared at the picture a moment longer before snorting. “Wait ‘til the guys hear about this.”

Tagged - @khonsulockley

#triple frontier #santiago garcia x reader #santiago x reader #santiago garcia x f!reader #santiago garcia #oscar isaac #pregnant!reader

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george-weasleys-girl · 1 year

Text

Chapter 23 ‐ The Long, Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Warnings: none

Summary: Y/N and Sirius' insomnia leads to an unexpected late night chat

Title courtesy of Douglas Adams

*I almost called this one The Cursed Chapter. I just couldn't seem to write it the way I envisioned it in my head. But, after multiple revisions and tumblr failing to save my changes FOUR TIMES, I've decided to call it done. Hope ya'll enjoy it.*

Start Here:

~•~

Y/N had no idea what time it was as she sat in the dimly lit room, smoothing out Buckbeak's feathers. "Sleep and I aren't getting along these days," she confided to the hippogriff, shifting so she could lean against his side, letting herself sink into his downy feathers. He trilled a soft melody and began preening her hair, bringing a brief smile to Y/N's face.

"I wish I could fade in and out of existence at will," she mummered. "Just take brief break from life when things get too much, you know."

Buckbeak moved so he could reach her hair better and continued his preening.

"Or as an alternative, I could just rip out this dead weight in my chest. That way I won't have to feel it anymore."

"Seems a bit of an overkill to me."

Startled by the disembodied voice, Y/N jumped, causing Buckbeak to squak at her with all the righteous indignation he could muster.

"Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you." Sirius stepped into the room and sat down to soothe the disgruntled hippogriff.

"Oh hi, Sirius," Y/N smiled. "Can't sleep either?"

"Sleep? What's that?" He chuckled. "I haven't had a proper nights rest since--well, since before everything happened." His grin faltered and he grew very still and very quiet, his eyes downcast. Y/N turned her full focus back to Buckbeak, knowing there's nothing quite as unnerving as having someone you barely know bore holes into you're head while you're having an emotional moment.

Y/N debated on whether she should stay or go. She and Sirius had never really talked other than exchanging a few pleasantries or a bit of mindless banter. However, she knew no one rambles around in the middle of night, seeking the company of a hippogriff, unless something big is preying on their minds. In the end, she decided to stay and offer a sympathetic ear, if he needed one.

"So, what brings you to my little nighttime sanctuary?" Sirius asked after a few minutes, back to his usual jovial self again.

"Buckbeak's an excellent therapist."

"Oh, that he is," agreed Sirius. "No judgements. No advice. None of that 'things will get better' nonsense. Just a listening ear and err--maybe a little preening." Sirius grinned, noting the spot where Y/N's hair was sticking out in million different directions.

Y/N peeked into the mirror and laughed. "I think this could be a new look for me," she said, before sitting back down and giving the hippogriff some neck scritches. "Buckbeak, hairstylist extraordinaire."

Buckbeak turned to look at her and trilled out another tune.

"I think he likes the new title," Sirius chuckled.

Y/N nodded, grinning at her feathered friend, who continued singing his happy, little song.

Sirius waited until Buckbeak finished his impromptu performance before speaking again. "I've heard about your dilemma," he said. "It's not an easy thing you're facing."

"No," she gave him a rueful smile. "It isn't."

"You know," Sirius replied. "Sometimes I get a little sad because I've never been in love. But, then there are other times, I think I may have dodged a bullet."

"It's not all bad," Y/N replied. "Most of the time it's quite wonderful."

"Except for times like this," Sirius pointed out.

"Except for times like this," Y/N repeated, with a long sigh.

"You seem to be handling it well enough," he observed.

Y/N shrugged. "I try to stay positive and not think about the future too much. My music helps alot." She held up her walkman. "I've had Tori Amos on perpetual repeat the last couple of weeks."

"Ah, yes, music," Sirius said. "What's that muggle saying? Music soothes the savage beast?"

"Yep, that's it." Y/N confirmed. "And yes it does."

"I missed music so much when I was locked away. The only escape I had," Sirius confessed, "came from a crack in the wall."

Y/N's brow furrowed. "A crack in the wall?"

Sirius chuckled. "The Ministry got complacent with the Dementors guarding Az--" He stopped mid-sentence as Buckbeak shifted his position, forcing both humans to rearrange themselves, as well, before the conversation could continue.

"I take it the Ministry let some things slide?" Y/N prompted once everyone was settled again.

"Many things, actually. The only thing they bothered to upkeep regularly was the Unplottability Charm and because of that cracks slowly began to form here and there. Not enough to arouse concern, mind you." Sirius explained. "But enough that a small crevice formed in the outer wall of my little, windowless cell, allowing for tiniest rays of the sun and moon to stream through." He looked down, his eyes trailing the shaft of moonlight illuminating the floorboards. "I know it doesn't seem like much, and truthfully it wasn't, but it was my whole world for a very long time. In moments of utter despair, I could close my eyes and lose myself in the faint roar of the ocean, pretending I was one of those endless waves rolling it's way to the shore."

Y/N nodded, trying and failing to imagine the horrors and loneliness he must've endured. "Sometimes it's the smallest things that get us through to the other side."

"Truer words have never been spoken," Sirius agreed. "A kind word, a song, the smell of the salt sea. They don't seem much at the time, but when you look back, you realize they were everything."

"I think--" Y/N started, but was interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the creaky, wooden floor, followed by George's soft voice calling her name.

"Excuse me," Y/N said, rising at the sound of her boyfriend's voice.

Stepping gingerly around the now dozing hippogriff, she made her way to the door and waved George over.

"Oh, there you are," he smiled, wrapping his arm around her waist. "I woke up and you were gone."

"Couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd come sit with Buckbeak for a while. Sirius had the same idea," she gestured toward the figure basking in the moonlight. "We've just been hanging out, chatting."

"Hey, mate." George said. "Thanks for keeping my girl company."

"It was my pleasure. You've got a good one, there." Sirius stood, removing a stray feather from his shirt.

George smiled down at Y/N, only then noticing one side of her hair sticking out like a deranged porcupine. "What in Merlin's name happened to your hair?"

"Huh? Oh!" She reached up, realizing she'd never smoothed it back down. "Buckbeak gave me a new style. What do you think? It's all the rage in Paris."

George chuckled, shaking his head as he ran his fingers through her tangled locks. "I think he needs a little more practice."

Y/N placed a hand over her chest in mock offense. "Sir! How dare you insult The Master Buckbeak's work!"

The hippogriff perked up at the mention of his name, narrowing his eyes at George.

"Oh, now you've done it." Sirius laughed. "I hope you know in big trouble, Mr. Weasley."

George grinned. "Story of my life."

~•~

Y/N's exhaustion crept up on her as George and Sirius struck up a conversation of their own. She was about to mention it when Sirius asked if they'd like to join him in the kitchen for tea. Something in his voice pulled from her rapid descent into dreamland. She looked up at him, seeing the sad hopefulness in his eyes.

Then, she turned to her boyfriend, the two of them sharing an entire conversation in one, swift gaze. "Yeah, alright." George agreed. "But just one cup, I think Y/N's going to turn into a pumpkin soon."

"Of course, of course!" Sirius bounded past them and down the hall.

George and Y/N followed along behind, hand in hand. "Sure you're up for this?" He asked.

"Doesn't matter," Y/N answered. "We have a friend in need."

~•~

He squeezed her hand. "Indeed we do."

Next Chapter:

@milivanili99 @slytherclaw1978 @quackitysdrugdealer @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @ladylizzieofdarbyshire

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x fem!reader #sirius black #buckbeak

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ahnsael · 6 months

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Another update

Several years ago, a lady told a now former manager that she had a big crush on me. This manager was not always trustworthy, so I let it go.

A couple months ago, I finally asked this lady if it was true. She said it was -- as in past tense. I told her I was interested, but she is in a rough life situation and wants to focus on that. She said she needed time to fix her situation before even thinking about whether it was something she still wanted.

She is still in her situation, but she made her decision. It did not go my way. It never does.

But she and I are still friends. So that's a good thing. We don't want to give up on friendship. She and I both agree on that. I'd rather have her in my life as a friend than to lose her completely. I have to accept and respect her decision and not try to push anything unless she chooses on her own to change her mind. I had hopes. Not only had she told another manager that she had a thing for me, but her son, after I included him in a dinner, flat out told her she should date me. I thought that was going to be a deciding factor when she told me he had said that.

But life moves on. This year has been such an anomaly after 15 years of being single. Two girlfriends in the same year. Almost a third (well, I don't know how "almost" it was).

I need to stop putting myself through this. Because the two girlfriends I had (one for three days, one for a month and a half) didn't last long. I don't know that romance is even worth trying for. I see happy couples. People who work well together. I thought this one who turned me down was a good match. I still think we would be. But again, I have to accept and respect her decision and not try to change her mind. After my last girlfriend, who turned 24 after we dated (yes, less than half my age -- I turn 49 in less than a month), this one is 57, so next month when I turn 49, she would be 8 years older than me. And the difference is amazing. This one who chose not to date me is so much wiser and more mature. The last one, I see her making bad decision after bad decision. I do not see the young one as a friend anymore. She seems to think we are, but every time she calls or texts me, it is to ask me for something. A ride, some money, or to help her with something else. She tries to just use me. Even though she is with someone else now. She dumped me to move away, then never moved away. And then quit her job, meaning she cannot possibly afford to move away. She may have thought she was telling the truth about moving, but it turned out not to be true. The one before her, who is 40, was much more honest with me when she ended things after a few days. She didn't want to risk losing me as a friend if things did not work out. Well, things did not work out and that was her decision, and we are still friends. I told her she would not lose me as a friend no matter what, and I have proven that. I think she and I had a chance to work out (I was more sure about the most recent older lady), and would have loved to try. But things are what they are.

I just have to move on. And I have some serious thinking to do about whether to ever try for romance again. The pain when it does not work out is real. But while romance (or even the possibility of romance) feels wondrful (emotionally -- I'm not talking about physical things), when it ends it hurts a lot. The hurt may outweigh the happy moments.

So it may be best for me to just give up on ever finding someone who is right for me.Two of the three I pursued this year, I thought could be "the one." Actually, all three were in that category at some point. The one making the bad decisions, I am glad I lost. I dodged a bullet on that one.

The other two I would date again in a heartbeat if they changed their minds. No way with the younger one. The maturity level is just not there. She and I had some good times (she is Native Americanand took me to a hot spring that I would be arrested for visiting if a Native American didn't have me there as a guest). I do not regret her. But it is for the best that she and I are no longer together.

But for the other two, I would give all of my love to either of them if one was to change their mind and want me back. If both change their mind, I would probably just stick with whoever did it first. Then again, maybe the most recent prospect would be the one. The first does not like the second. I can talk to the third about the first. I cannot talk to the first about the third. I cannot talk to the middle one about either one of the other two. So it would probably be wisest, on the off chance that I GET another chance, to go with the one who is older than me. She is the one with whom I do not feel like I have to keep certain things surpressed.

But I don't think it is likely in either case. It's silly of me to even think of who I would choose when all three of them chose not to date me. Even if they did for a little while.

Oh, and I had to go to the emergency room twice two weeks ago. The first time they kept me overnight. The second time, the doctor just told me "I am not well-versed in something like this; here is a list of specialists I found on Google."

I won't go into detail. They were both scary situations but it would be WAY TMI to tell you what I was there for. I am not dying any faster than anyone else. Some antibiotics that played badly with my stomach otherwise did their job. I am okay. Mostly. Mentally, maybe not so much, and actually not that great physically, but I am better than I was. I will live until I die, but I don't expect death any time soon. Of course, we never know. I only drive four miles to work, and have almost been T-boned on the driver's side of my car twice by people running red lights and going 50 in a 25mph zone. And the casino had guns pulled when it was robbed in July. They shot at a deputy. They would have definitely been willing to shoot at any of us if we hadn't given them the money.

But the plan is for me to stick around in life for quite a while.

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whatisreggieshortfor · 1 year

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Aquarium Meet Cute

You were just trying to give your team the day off. And then they disappeared. But atleast you met a cute guy?

Watari x reader

It was a day off for your team.

You don’t remember who even made the suggestion, but you found yourself tracking a team of giants through the Kanagawa Aquarium.

But you somehow managed to lose all of them but Yamamoto.

You cursed yourself under your breath, rubbing at your temples. “Why did I agree to manage this team? I bet the Red Falcons wouldn’t give me this much of a headache, Aran knows how to control his players.”

“You’d leave us?” You turned, seeing Yamamoto’s pouting face and sighed. He was declared your official team simp by the rest of VC Kanagawa, and honestly as much as it surprised his high school captain you found him the easiest to control because of it- but you didn’t know why he was surprised, you had gone to school with them. He always knew you weren’t interested, so he never truly pursued you, but he was also your best friend.

“No.” You sighed again, “I’m not going to leave you guys. Remember, the Sendai Frogs already offered me a position and I turned it down to stay with you.” You had to reach to pat him gently on the head, only to be caught off guard by a voice behind you.

“You may have dodged a bullet in turning that job down.” You spun, almost tripping over Yamamoto’s leg beside you, as you came face to face with a man wearing a uniform for the aquarium. A very cute man wearing a uniform for the aquarium. “An old high school teammate of mine plays for Sendai, he was… I don’t think there is a word to really cover how aggressive he is.”

Yamamoto snorted but tried to cover it up before muttering, “You’ve clearly never seen Y/N when we do things they don’t like.”

“Taketora.” You glared at him, “Watch it.” He nodded frantically, almost looking afraid to disagree, as you turned back to the worker, “I think I’ve met who you’re talking about, Kyotani?”

The man smiled again, nodding as he laughed, “We called him Mad Dog. Iwaizumi- our ace-“

“I know Iwa.” You laughed, “I’ve worked with him training these idiots.”

He nodded his head in understanding, “Iwa was the only one that could get to do anything, Yahaba seemed to learn for our third year though.”

You hummed, but Yamamoto laughed again, “Yeah, no, he tried to get in Y/N’s face because his spike couldn’t make it past their block, and Y/N shut him down and somehow managed to have him clean their gym. And then he came to our gym that weekend and cleaned it. Y/N had to scold the team so we’d stop watching in amazement.”

“Tora-“ you pinched your brow, getting ready to glare him into next week, when the cute guy laughed.

“That’s amazing. Where were you when I had to play with him?”

Yamamoto thumped your shoulder with his, with a big grin on his face, “Going to Nekoma with me.”

The former Seijoh player nodded, seeming to take a step back, “Fair point,” his smile seemed to turn more polite, “Well, I will let you get back to your date.”

“Oh, no-“ you snorted, Taketora looking only mildly hurt since he knew those feelings weren’t reciprocated, “No, we are not- this is not-“

He looked almost relieved, “My bad, I’m Watari, by the way.”

“There’s Y/N!” You turned to see Riseki rapidly approaching with Chigaya and Chita and the rest of the team in tow, “I told you we left them near the clownfish!”

“No surprise Yamamoto is still with them.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, staring them down as their steps slowed on their approach, “Boys-“

“Hey, we’re men! And-“ the words died on his tongue as you raised an eyebrow before you continued.

“Boys.” You repeated, looking into each of their faces, “You were given one warning before you got off the bus. Do not leave my presence. And what did you do?”

“Well we-“ Chigaya started, stepping forward and puffing his chest before your glare shot back to him and stepped back, “…we left your side.”

“And what does that mean now?” You heard snickering behind you, glancing to see Watari looking beyond amused before turning back to your team. And then you waited.

Yamamoto jumped like a puppy who’s owner just came home after a long day, “It means that whoever left your side has to clean the gym without your help, your office without your help, and coach’s office without your help for two weeks every day after practice.”

You patted his head again, “And as the only one that didn’t run away, you get to skip practice once without coach’s approval, seeing as he gave pre approval because he didn’t think anyone would stay with me, and you don’t have to help clean anything for those two weeks.”

“Dammit.” Riseki sighed, “I told you we were gonna be in major trouble.”

“You were the first to branch off!” Chita snapped back, not looking any less ashamed than he had before.

“To the bus.” You pointed toward the exit, “Now. And just for the record, I’ve never seen coach throw anything away. You’ll have your work cut out for you.”

Riseki stubbed his toe against the ground, the other patrons of the aquarium staring as you barked this group of towers out the door, “We aren’t children.”

“If you aren’t children, I guess we don’t need to stop for food on the way back.”

“No- what? We haven’t eaten since lunch!”

“Exactly.” You smirked, turning back to Watari, who looked beyond intrigued in what was happening, “Sorry. It was good to meet you, and I really wish I could stay but- CHITA YOU LEAVE YAMAMOTO ALONE! He is not the reason you’re in trouble!” You smiled apologetically, kicking the players you could reach as you followed them back to the bus. You sighed as you took your seat near the driver, “I can’t believe you jackasses. He was really cute too.”

“Hey, you made us leave.” One of them grumbled, only to shrink in his seat when you stood to look back at him.

You sank back into your own seat, crossing your arms over your chest and pondering the cute guy you could’ve tried and, probably, failed to hit on.

You were busy smirking with Yamamoto, who was too busy FaceTiming with Tanaka, as the rest of the team went about their new extra cleaning duties. Riseki poked his head out of your office, “Is there anything in here that we need to worry about when it comes to trash or like… personal things?”

“I locked all important papers in my desk, and all personal items have been stowed in my bag and at home.” You answered, “You are safe to clean it.”

“… Chita has decided that means trash everything.”

You shrugged, he wasn’t necessarily wrong, but before you could reply there was a knock echoing off the open gym door and you started speaking as you turned, “Hey! This is the official gym for VC Kanagawa, is there something I can do for-“

Your voice faded to nothing as you locked eyes with Watari, who offered an awkward wave but a sweet smile, “Hey, sorry, I got a call to come by here?”

Yamamoto’s head snapped up from his phone, “Hey country boy! Glad you could make it.”

Watari laughed, “Yeah, Tanaka gave me a call, too. Apparently I’m supposed to say ‘didn’t I say I’d be here, city boy?’”

Your best friend grinned, “I’m gonna give these guys a hand, you two talk.”

Watari laughed as Yamamoto shoved his way into your office, “He isn’t subtle, is he?”

“Not even a little bit.” You chuckled, “What made you come here exactly?”

He shrugged, “He called me, told me if I wanted a chance with you then I needed to come by, also told me if you granted me a chance with you he’d kill me before he watched me hurt you.”

“Aw,” you cooed jokingly, “he does care.”

“He does,” Watari grinned, “So how about that chance?”

You glanced back at your office, overstuffed with professional volleyball players that were already too big to fit more than two in there and were now stuck shoulder to shoulder as most of them crammed into the small room, before turning back, “Would you be interested in getting a coffee with me?”

He nodded his head to the players, “You don’t need to stay and watch them?”

You smirked, “You kidding? I told them they had to scrub that room spotless. There’s been a stain on that carpet that even professionals can’t get out that my predecessor put there. They’ll be here all night.”

Watari laughed brightly, “Amazing. Alright, my treat. There’s a great cafe down the street.”

You glanced back on your way out, Yamamoto meeting your gaze and shooting you a thumbs up.

Masterlist

#haikyuu #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu x female reader #Watari x reader #watari shinji #because apparently he works at an aquarium in time skip #yamamoto taketora #yamamoto & reader

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triangularitydubs · 1 month

Text

Rap BATTLE

Flowey The Flower

Cagney The Carnation

Begin!

Flowey:

Howdy I'm Flowey, Flowey the flower

You really sold your soul for a fraction of power

Thats pathetic and sad so guess you should be

the taller, lesser and lamer version of me.

I controlled lives and caused so much pain

You got tricked by a devil and went down in vain

You'll never get a chance to win against this flower

Taken down by bullets again, this is your final hour!

Somebody ought show you around this place

Even if if you're a total disgrace.

It's time to stop the innocent little facade

And fight me like a real one, you copying fraud

Looking ragged, rejected like a Rosalia

Should I kill the carnation? That's a wonderful idea!

Cross your arms, puff your cheeks out

You just can't believe I already got a KNOCKOUT

Cagney:

You're kidding right?

A little dandelion wanting to fight

Well I'll tell ya what and cut you a deal

Don't wanna make you, lose the feel

Speaking of emotions, which you have none

Just ignoring the fact I'm number one.

You don't have room to talk about no soul

You're stuck and abandoned in some mountian hole

Went back up to save your siblings life

Stabbed in the back just like their knife

Killing and going crazy with your power

Otherwise crying and waiting to cower

I'll let you leave since you're in no hurry

No body can win to the Floral Fury!

Even Chara left you in the end

And you say that they're your best friend?

One more thing if I may?

I'm the one that's a rip off you say?

Well let me plant the hands in the ground

Then well see who's secretly Earthbound.

Flowey:

I dodge your rhymes like a run and gun

Gathered the human souls, now we'll have fun!

I can feel them wiggling inside of me

I can't wait for you to see,

The Omega Photoshop GOD

The ice is thin and now I'll win

The stakes are high and I'm the pin.

This is the true form I revel in

A true advocate for the devil's sin.

I'll put the pedal to the metal

Once RIP you up petal by petal

Not a second too soon to unwind

When you're slashed to bits like a Porkrind.

It's not smart to raise fights with someone you can't mettle,

When you lost to cups related to an old kettle.

No need for you to progress to phase two

Cuz I'll tell you something that you already knew..

I'll be the one to give extreme pollination

To your total domination

Cagney:

Back to you and on the topic

Least my Fandom isn't as toxic

So watch yourself and count the days

As Undertale falls and Cuphead stays

All Indies will soon lose fame

Yours is just dying like Bendy's Game

Sit back and relax and enjoy while you can

I'll be here, and laugh when you hit the fan.

Abandoned by the souls of the fallen

Your Determination is weak so quit stallin

Rise up to power and it's a bit of a risk

You're defeated by a little kid named Frisk

Clearly they step up to the alter

Cuz even your Determination can falter.

You called for help but no one came

You lost this battle and only have yourself to blame.

Nobody cared and nobody will cry

Poor soulless Asriel left there to die.

#rap battle #Undertale #flowey #flowey undertale #cagney carnation #cuphead #cuphead cagney #rap #original lyrics #lyricist

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jennhoney · 1 year

Text

I decided a couple months ago that I wouldn’t talk to abeariknow for my own health. I was (and still am) feeling pretty vulnerable. It was just a bad scene for me. I decided if I ever feel better and stronger in the future I might be able to hang out with him but that it was doing me no favors to think I might have a friend in the area, when I in fact have nothing of the sort. But I’ve been thinking about something he casually mentioned. The car that he was going to sell me, for practically nothing, had to be scrapped. And I just dodged a huge bullet there. Good job me, following my instincts! I wanted it so badly and if it had been drivable it would have been such a help when I was in GA. I could have seen friends and had independence. But an actual mechanic was the other possible buyer and they passed for Reasons. And my eyes were fucked up (still are) and my left foot was difficult to control even well over a year ago and then it was completely unusable for the past 6 months. It was nearly impossible for me to drive the manual when I was getting lessons and it would have been impossible for me to drive back to Iowa in it even if it was working. It just would have eaten the little bit of money I was able to make and turns out I needed that money to survive my convalescence. I don’t like how any of this stuff has played out but since my hospitalization it has been hard for me to ignore the feeling that it may have indeed needed to play out exactly as it has been.

#I cannot fucking believe this path that I am on #but so many times lately it feels like I dodged even worse shit #jennhoney personal log #I am safe #for now #also i am real low down lonesome

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marvelmawrter · 2 years

Text

they reach into your room

6x04 coda - Buck sleeps with Connor but says Eddie’s name

Buck doesn’t know how he got here.

Ok, he does. If pressed, he could explain the winding path that led to him saying his best friend’s name while fucking a married man but. He can’t promise that it makes sense.

“Dude, I’m telling you, I’m not offended in the slightest.” Connor’s sitting on the edge of the bed now, boxers on, calmly putting on his socks. “I literally got permission from my wife to get railed by our sperm donor. And somehow, I don’t think you’ll be knocking me up.”

Buck’s next exhale could almost pass for a laugh, but truthfully he’s barely processing a word Connor says. He’s too busy staring at the wall, trapped in the memory of Eddie’s name echoing around the loft.

“Hey.” Connor’s hand on his arm makes Buck jump, shaking him out of his thoughts. Turning to meet Connor’s eyes, recognizing the kindness in them, Buck thinks that may have been the goal.

“Here.”

Connor’s fully dressed now, but he hasn’t run out the door. Instead, he passes Buck his discarded joggers, turning back to peruse the bookshelf as if his interest in the worn paperbacks isn’t just a cover for giving Buck a minute to pull his shit together.

Buck takes the moment for what it is, quickly standing up and slipping the pants over his hips. To be honest, he hadn’t even realized that he was still naked. That somehow, only minutes ago, he was having sex for the first time in months, fucking Connor into his mattress, back in the familiar satisfaction of bringing someone to the edge. Until his brain betrayed him, dredging up the fantasy that is always lurking beneath the surface, the shameful secret escaping when Buck parted his lips, eyes wide as he scrambled up the bed and away from Connor’s confused, searching eyes-

“Do you want to talk to me? About him?”

Connor’s leaning against the strip of wall next to the stairs now, shoes on, phone in hand. But he’s looking at Buck with a softness he doesn’t deserve, giving him more grace than an old fuckbuddy should warrant. For a moment, Buck’s transported back to a cluttered bedroom in a crowded house, the assertion that they don’t have a thing , they’re just helping each other through a dry spell at odds with the way Connor wouldn’t go back to his room, after. He would stay, and they would talk, their truths easier to lay bare in the dark.

But it’s mid-afternoon, years later, and the sun is streaming through the wall of windows that Buck loves and hates depending on the day. Today, the sun feels like a spotlight on his weaknesses.

He can’t say yes to this.

He’s said yes to so many things. Meeting with Connor to begin with, carefully masking the jealousy that consumed him when confronted with proof of what he could have if he was enough for anyone. Giving them the one thing they can’t have, a baby, since watching from the sidelines is better than having no one at all.

He said yes to having Connor back in his bed, his friend stumbling through assurances that he didn’t want to bring it up until Buck had made his decision, that he would’ve asked even if Buck said no to being a donor, that Kameron was totally aware and on board. She had dropped Connor off this morning, two days after they made arrangements for Buck’s soonest day off, and she’d kissed her husband and winked at them both on her way out the door like it was some sort of X-rated play date.

God, what’s Connor going to tell her when she asks for all of the dirty details? She’s obviously into the whole idea. At least they’ll get a laugh out of how much of a bullet they’re dodging - imagine if they went through with using someone this fucked up to make their kid? They can move on and pick someone who hasn’t blown up his whole life, who knows how to have a relationship, who doesn’t just attach himself to any family that will take him in just to get a taste of what it could feel like. No one wants that level of failure mixed into their kids’ DNA.

Talk about it? About Eddie? Buck takes a minute to imagine pulling Connor back to the bed, sitting across from each other pretzel style, rambling about his crush like an infatuated schoolgirl. But Connor already has enough damning evidence - Buck doesn’t need to offer up even more proof that he’s going nowhere. That he’s playing house to trick himself into believing that he’s doing something worthwhile with this life.

“No.” His voice is hoarse. Buck clears his throat and forces himself to meet Connor’s eyes. “No, I’m good. Nothing to talk about. Just an embarrassing mistake.”

Connor stares back, his gaze unwavering for long enough that Buck wonders if he can see the way the word “mistake” is ping-ponging around his brain. That it defines Buck to his core. If that’s why Connor looks so disappointed and sad.

They’re both quiet for another beat before Connor’s phone vibrates and he pushes off the wall.

“Are you sure? Kameron’s here, she was just hanging out at a coffee shop a few blocks away, but I can stay. We can stay. Order some takeout, watch a movie, whatever.”

Buck shakes his head. “Nah, man. I think I just need to hide out for the rest of the day until I get my pride back, y’know?” He forces out a laugh. “Totally get if you guys want to look for someone new, too…”

“What? No,” Connor’s voice is firm, a fire in his eyes. Maybe if that had come out earlier, when all Buck wanted was someone holding him down instead of the other way around. Maybe if he hadn’t started to imagine someone else in his bed, someone stronger than him. Maybe things would’ve gone differently. Maybe he wouldn’t have-

There’s a hand on his shoulder, a thumb on his collarbone. He flinches.

Connor’s hand slides away, awkwardly settling on Buck’s bicep instead. He steps back as two short bursts from a car horn filter in from the parking lot.

“That’s her. If you’re sure, I’ll get out of your hair. But Buck,” he smiles, voice turning soft like secrets in the dark, “like I said, this is separate. Nothing to do with the baby. We’re so, so excited to do this with you, man.”

Buck blinks, and then Connor’s walking down the stairs. Buck doesn’t move, just listens to the door open and shut. He throws himself back onto the bed, knowing he needs to change the sheets but having zero of the energy needed. He just stares up at his ceiling and breathes.

He’s pulled back to Earth by the chime of a new text message. Buck blindly gropes at his nightstand until he finds his phone, pulling it to his face.

One text from Connor, thirty seconds ago: like I said, no judgment here dude. glad to reconnect today 😏 send me your schedule when you have it - let’s meet up to talk logistics 👶

One text from Eddie, one hour ago: forgot to send this last night - what are we gonna do with him?

There’s a picture, Eddie in a black tank top, rolling his eyes at the camera with his arm outstretched, putting Chris’s XBox on the top shelf of a kitchen cabinet. The one with all of the novelty mugs. The “Emergency Dad Jokes” mug that Buck helped Chris pick out is barely visible behind Eddie’s bicep.

Buck stares a little too long.

Buck roles over, burying his face in his pillow.

Buck screams.

#911fic #evan buckley #connor 911 #Eddie Diaz #buck/connor (sort of)#buddie #be gentle it has been A While #911 spoilers #911 6x04

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kimkhimhant · 3 months

Note

Genuine question: is twitter (/discord/other fandom circles I don't know about) worse for the "no switching allowed" thing and getting into fights about it than Tumblr? Like how are you running into so many people being awful to you over like a pretty reasonable/tame interpretation of canon/non-existent ship dynamics?? Not meaning to deny your experiences but I personally I haven't seen a huge amount of that on Tumblr or had any real pushback on my own sub/bottom leaning kim fic - I feel a little bit like I've either accidentally been super picky about following chill people and effortlessly dodged all the fandom bullets or you're hanging out with fandom circles that just kinda suck. Sorry the fandom isn't being kind to you of late. I like your stuff and I hope you know you have people in your corner that are excited for whatever you put out there ❤️

hi! so honestly the issue is really just a few people in the fandom – ~3 who have been the most vocal, 2 of them who have had personal issues with me and my characterization & meta posts, and 1 of those 2 who has legitimately bullied me over it, and they've all been people who were active here on tumblr as well as twitter and discord servers, but most of my personal negative experience with that 1 person happened on twitter and discord. and also yeah, in general, twitter is a more hostile environment lol, and people on twitter tend to be loud and proud of everything they hate or disagree with.

it's not so much comments on my fics or whatever, and moreso things that happened in discord discussions or in very targeted posts on twitter and tumblr talking shit about certain portrayals of kim. (including some particularly targeted hate tweets made on days i posted fics, references specific aspects of those fics and talking shit about them lol).

while it may be a pretty small group of people who have been awful, they've been really loud about it and have taken on a superiority complex about their characterization and putting down people who disagree with them, treating them like they're stupid or like they're committing a moral wrong for the way they write kimchay. I have a few friends who have dealt with this and who are seriously considering leaving the fandom entirely because of it.

I haven't publicly talked about the specifics of what happened or with who because i don't think callout culture helps fandom in any way, and also mostly because i'm legitimately scared of what they might do in response. I've had enough of feeling belittled and bullied by them and i don't want to instigate more. (we were originally friends and in small discord servers together, so we interacted a lot, but i do have them blocked here and on twitter now)

I'm really glad that you haven't seen much hostility and that the fandom spaces you occupy have been safe, and i appreciate your support.

i'm sorry i've spent so much time talking about this lately. I was really hurt and seeing other people also hurt over this, and i had been holding these feelings in for months until a recent event made me snap.

anyway, thank you again for your concern and support <3

#benji talks #asks

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minachan95-written-works-on-ao3 · 4 months

Text

Title: Once Upon A Love

Fandom: Togainu no Chi

Pairing: Keisuke x Akira

Summary:

During the usual hanging out with his college friends, Keisuke took more than he could swallow. And thus, now during the 24 hours he has to propose to his adored idol. Will he be able to do it? Read and find out~

AO3 Link

It’s already a late night, but not everyone can find peace of mind tonight.

That’s right, after hanging out with his friends from college, Keisuke has done something that he refers to as digging his own grave.

_________________

Earlier, on the same evening. When Akira was still at work, Keisuke got teased again.

This time, Keisuke’s unintentional habit of always bringing his precious boyfriend into any conversation and talking about him like an idol got him into trouble.

Finally, one of his friends had enough of it. Fortunately, it was their turn in the truth or dare game.

Even if it was a joking request for him to confess to Akira, the poor brunette took it personally and as a grave challenge.

After he bravely declared his intention to propose to his crush, the sound of the apartment door suddenly interrupted him. As Akira walked in during his speech, he froze in place.

For a while, Keisuke stared at his partner while fearing for his own life.

Perhaps the luck was on his side, and he dodged the bullet that was Akira’s silent, icy glare.

Yet, the brunette asked him out on a date.

Of course, the silver-haired male only covered his mouth and facepalmed.

Meanwhile, one of Keisuke’s friends patted his shoulder and wished him luck.

Lastly, he knew Akira would be mad at him for embarrassing him in front of everyone. Or so Keisuke assumed.

______________________

“What should I do now? I’m so screwed… Save me, Akira.” The brunette murmurs while hiding under the blanket.

However, he perfectly understands that he needs to deal with some business before the big day.

After taking a deep breath, he removes the blanket and leaves the tatami without waking up his partner.

It’s still a miracle how he finds his phone in the darkness without causing too much noise.

Suddenly, Keisuke is startled by the quiet mumbling and rustling sheets. As he slowly turns back and uses the phone’s flashlight, he feels like a heavy boulder is removed from his chest.

Apparently, Akira is sleeping peacefully, unaware of what is happening in the middle of the night. Lastly, Keisuke sneaks to another room to get one specific item, which may save his life.

______________

Some time has passed. As Keisuke closes the tool shelf door, he leaves the room while holding measurement tape and hoping that Akira is still deeply slumbering despite the left mess in another room and other noises.

When Keisuke silently approaches his partner and kneels, he glimpses at him. Unfortunately for him, he becomes mesmerized by sleeping Akira’s beauty.

It was not the first time when Keisuke was restless. However, he would observe his beautiful and serene boyfriend until he fell asleep.

Despite his phone’s limited storage, he can’t resist taking and keeping countless photos of Akira - be it him taking a nap or doing anything else, he won’t have enough of him.

More so, after one time Akira accidentally noticed Keisuke’s lock-screen, his reaction was too precious to him.

Yet, the brunette didn’t take a photo of his boyfriend hiding his blushing face with one palm and sighing. After all, it was enough to have it burned into his memory.

Perhaps Akira doesn’t know how lucky Keisuke feels to be his boyfriend.

More so, Akira allowed Keisuke to move to his rented apartment and asked him not to worry about the rent and focus on his studies.

That’s right, last year, the silver-haired male graduated while his partner still had a year to finish college.

Despite not having much time, the brunette cherishes those small moments they share.

_________________

But for now, Keisuke shakes his head and returns to reality. Besides, he is on a crucial mission.

After the brunette nervously swallows the saliva, he takes his partner’s hand and wraps the measurement tape around his ring finger.

When he carefully removes it and sighs, he senses something is off.

Suddenly, his wrists are pinned, and without realizing it, he ends up getting cornered and under his partner.

As Akira observes the bewildered brunette, he narrows his gaze. “What were you planning to do with that thing?”

Even if his partner stares at him like this, he is determined to keep in secret about his ulterior motives.

Meanwhile, the silver-haired male only patiently waits for the answers.

However, it will be pointless when Keisuke makes big, scolded puppy eyes again.

When Akira closes his eyes, he sighs. “It’s late. Just go back to sleep.”

As he opens his blue eyes, he continues. “I know it’s been a while since we’ve done That. But wait for a bit longer. Besides, I need to get up early for tomorrow’s meeting.”

After he lowers his shoulders and climbs off the brunette, he ruffles Keisuke’s hair. “Good night.”

Just before his partner is about to call his name, Akira lies on his side and curls under the blanket.

In the end, Keisuke is left alone with his thoughts. Yet, he immediately checks on the measuring tape and feels relieved.

After all, he saved the most valuable digits in his life.

But for now, he repeats them to himself before falling asleep while clutching the measuring tape, hoping that nothing goes wrong tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a challenging but big day for him. Yet, he cannot simply go to the jewelry store with Akira and pick an engagement ring.

Even if that wasn’t just for the out-of-blue proposal and ruining the surprise, there are other reasons why it wouldn’t work.

Firstly, even if Akira knew Keisuke’s plans, he would call them impractical and unnecessary.

After living a long time together, Keisuke noticed how his boyfriend was in charge of the finances, and maybe he took it too seriously.

Gladly, not to that degree when he would demand a report for every spent cent and nag on the brunette about overspending.

However, Keisuke is concerned about how Akira spends most of the budget on rent and other necessities but barely leaves anything for himself.

That’s why the brunette understands Akira would probably lecture him like a worrywart housewife for wasting money on something unnecessary.

Therefore, if he brings this up, Akira won’t agree with this idea and will not accept any negotiations.

Secondly, it’s wiser not to take Akira with him because it will stress him out learning where the brunette got the money for this.

However, the brunette isn’t afraid of getting scolded by his partner. No. He is concerned about how it will upset his boyfriend.

More importantly, Akira may misunderstand this as him not doing enough to support Keisuke. Therefore, he will take over-hours and work himself to death.

Yet, the main concern for the brunette is finding a ring that fits his budget while still expressing how much he cares for his partner.

After pondering for a while, Keisuke slowly falls asleep while having innocent, naïve hopes of soon making their relationship even stronger.

_______________________

It’s the beginning of the new day. After Keisuke gets up and heads to the kitchen, he notices Akira is already gone.

At that moment, he is slightly upset that he missed his chance to wish his boyfriend a good day.

On the other hand, the blue-eyed male had time to prepare breakfast for Keisuke before leaving.

That’s right, Akira has been in charge of cooking since the incident when the brunette left an awful mess in the kitchen and nearly poisoned his partner with his half-prepared meal.

Thus, Akira making breakfast is not an exception.

Of course, the brunette understands that all this effort is his partner’s prevention methods from someone causing trouble.

However, he doesn’t want to overload Akira with more work, even after returning from his job.

That’s why someday he’ll make up for that and prove to his partner that he can be useful.

But for now, he sighs and starts digging up the prepared meal by his loving boyfriend.

__________________

After the lectures are over, Keisuke gets to the nearest jewelry store and buys an engagement ring.

But for now, when he steps outside, he carefully opens the small box and gazes at the silver ring adorned with a sapphire gemstone for a few moments.

________________

Some time has passed. Somewhere in the city’s central park.

It is a beautiful, festive winter evening, and the snowflakes are falling slowly while the golden lights decorate the trees.

More so, tonight is even more special. Surprisingly, Akira agreed to go outside and let himself be distracted.

Besides, it’s been a while since they were on a date or at least spent time together without having unwanted attention. So, if that should make Keisuke happy, then it should be fine. Or so the silver-haired male wonders.

But for now, after noticing the fountain, which is not so far from them, the brunette stops walking.

After he turns his head to Akira, he stares at him with innocent, sparkling excitement in his eyes. “Hey, Akira. Can we go there? There is something I need to see.”

For sure, when his partner uses his big puppy eyes on him, the silver-haired male has no choice but to close his eyes and sigh. “Sure.”

___________________

A few minutes passed by.

While Keisuke stands in front of his boyfriend, he clenches his palms into fists and lowers his blushing gaze. “Um, there… There is something I wanted to tell you for a long time. But now… Now, I think it might be a right time to tell you.”

After a brief pause, he nervously swallows the saliva and lifts his eyes. “But you need to promise me you won’t be mad.”

“What is it? Did you get into trouble again?” The silver-haired male asks.

However, Keisuke only shakes his head.

When Akira silently exhales, he adds. “Fine. Then, what is it?”

Finally, the moment of truth has arrived, and it will determine the brunette’s fate.

After gathering all the courage, Keisuke kneels on his knee and starts looking for a specific item in his coat pocket.

When he picks a small dark blue box and opens it, he asks. “Akira. Will you do me make honored and marry me?”

For sure, this out-of-blue question bewilders even someone preserved as the silver-haired male.

Right now, all he can do is widen his eyes and cover his mouth. “Keisuke, I…”

“Did... did I upset you? I’m… I’m so sorry! I-I, I didn’t mean to.” The confused brunette replies.

However, just before he bows to apologize, Akira’s unusually shy voice stops him. “Y-you fool!… I didn’t say anything yet.”

When Keisuke lifts his head, the heat rushes his cheeks upon seeing his boyfriend extending his lowered palm and turning his blushing face away.

“There… That’s my answer for you.” The blue-eyed male adds.

Suddenly, the brunette’s teary eyes shine with pure joy. “A-Akira!…”

A second later, he doesn’t contain his emotions and jumps on Akira with his spread arms, making them fall.

“I’m so glad!” Keisuke adds while pulling the blue-eyed male into a tight hug.

For now, the silver-haired male struggles in his partner’s embrace and tries to push his face by using his palm. “I get it… Just get off me, Keisuke. We’re in public.”

After he climbs off from his boyfriend, he rubs his nape and helps Akira to stand up. “Ah!… Sorry. I got carried away.”

At that moment, Akira only closes his eyes and sighs. “Let’s go home.”

“But… but what about the ring?” The brunette whines like a small puppy.

“You can put it on when we’ll return.” Akira immediately replies.

Yet, Keisuke makes big eyes again. “Akira…”

Meanwhile, the silver-haired male rolls his eyes and lifts his palm without saying a word.

“R-right!…” the brunette responds.

After Keisuke picks up the ring again, he carefully puts it on his partner’s ring finger.

For sure, seeing how well it fit on his beloved hand and now knowing that his adored person accepted his feelings put a big smile on Keisuke’s face.

In the end, Akira takes his partner’s hand into his and prompts him to go.

Meanwhile, this gesture surprises the brunette. After all, this is the first time when Akira doesn’t mind doing such a thing in public and shows initiative.

But for now, he wishes to enjoy and cherish this moment as long as possible.

#togainu no chi #tnc #fanfiction #keiaki #keisuke (togainu no chi)#akira (togainu no chi)#one-shot #ao3 #archive of our own #alternate universe #modern universe

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the-whumping-hour · 11 months

Text

June of Doom Day 2: “Get in” (Survivor’s Guilt / Salve)

CW: Gangs and gang violence, acute stress disorder, brief mentions of other mental illnesses, repeated dissociation, trauma aftermath, repeated references to past murder

Notes: All characters are roughly 18/19 here. Ayeli uses she/they pronouns. Of the mentioned-but-not-present characters, Dominic is the leader of the gang, and “Marcy” is Ayeli’s brother. This is another backstory piece (there may be a lot of these, this month, because I am trying to establish precedence for more writing on here), so take every bit of characterization with a grain of salt ;)

Tag List: @lektricwhump

***

He tells the story differently every time. Sometimes he heard the sound of the safety clicking off ahead of time, sometimes he dove to the ground, sometimes the bullet grazed him while shielding Emir as the other boy tried to crawl away from the line of fire.

Sometimes he doesn’t remember anything at all. That’s the most truthful retelling.

“Noah?” Ayeli's voice is soft at the door. He can picture her fingers poised on the doorknob, the way she would lean her forehead against the wood for a moment as if sending a prayer off for him.

“Come in.” Noah keeps his voice quiet, swallowing and pushing back the tears burning the corners of his eyes. They can’t know that he was crying again, they can’t see him like this. They wouldn’t ever be able to love him if they saw him like this. He doesn’t look up at the sound of their footfalls crossing the room, nor when the bed dips with their weight, when their arms wrap around him. The smell of gunpowder lingers in the air between them.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

There are no more words spoken between them for all the time it takes for him to get the confidence to wipe the faintest tear tracks away.

“Dominic got a jacket for you. Bit of a different make than mine, ‘cause apparently the guy who made them left the city last month, but it’s basically the same thing. You are the new generation, after all.” A hint of amusement lingers on her lips. He can almost see it.

“You’re what, half a year older than me?”

“Been in the gang longer though. I’ve got experience under my belt.” They squeeze his shoulder. “Come on. Dom’s gonna be pissed if another one of his new recruits gets depression.”

It had been less than a year since he left home. Less than a year and already he was one with the city, always dodging the bigger fish in the pond, laughing with his friends and clambering onto the top of trains to see who could write their name closest to the edge. He hadn’t thought that night would be different. Nothing was different except for the gunfire that followed.

“I found him!” Her carefree teasing is restrained, but not enough for Noah to not get butterflies. “Think he got lost.”

“In his own head, maybe.” Julian’s mouth is half-covered by his hand as the other one spins the tab on a can of soda. “Leave the boy alone, he’s been through a lot in the last two weeks.”

“Haven’t we all?” Ayeli bends a finger and suddenly the TV is turned on. “When did Dom say he wanted to meet up again?”

“Eighteen-thirty. We’re having a ceremony.” Julian’s fake jazz hands that accompany the word only add to the levels of other-ness that Noah’s been feeling in the past dozen days he’s been with the gang. He still pretends to not feel the way that Julian’s eyes often bore into the back of his head when he’s not looking. Ayeli says he has hypervigilance; Noah says he has creepy as f*ck disorder.

“Can you drive me to pick Marcy up from school first?”

The conversation drops out of Noah’s ears.

He remembers the pain, at least. The burning across the side of his arm, his feet forcing him still for only half a second before running, and there were screams around him and some of them were his own. He’d come back later to look at the bodies. To confirm what he already dreaded. In the moment, though, he didn’t know who it was, he didn’t know where he was going, he just knew he needed to leave.

He was the only one who survived.

“Hey, hey boy. Snap out of it.”

He’s seated on the couch now. Julian’s waving fingers in front of his face.

“Where is... what...”

“Sometimes that happens,” Ayeli’s next to him now, where did they come from, what? “You’re here. You’re here. Just dissociation.”

A jingle plays on the television. He feels like he’s floating.

“Hey, the three of us... we could make, like, a club. Weird trauma club.” Ayeli’s hand is back around his shoulders, and Julian’s wandered back to the floor. And Noah is here. He’s here.

And Ayeli keeps talking. “I’d be the leader. They say I got a complex stress disorder. It’s from all the—”

“Noah.” Julian cuts in abruptly. Noah’s almost thankful for it. “How’s your arm?”

“It’s... it’s feeling better.” The sting of the memory cuts through again. He can’t do this now, he’s here. “I think the stuff is working.”

“Good.” Julian stands up again now, walking over to the kitchen. “I’m gonna reapply it. Allie, get me a new bandage.”

The use of a nickname almost angers Noah. Almost. They’re friends, they’ve been through so much, it makes sense. But he’ll never be like that. He’ll always be the ‘new recruit’ until the next kid comes along. It’s awful. He has no one.

He had them before. But now they’re dead.

He was hiding in a dumpster when they found him. It was some territorial attack, they said, it wasn’t personal. And of course it wasn’t personal. He’d never hurt anyone, not for real. They were scouting out the damage, trying to plan retaliation. He just happened to be in the middle. They offered him a place, but he would be just another member, just a new recruit.

He accepted.

“Good Kings, kid, reposition yourself—”

“Julie, be nice to him. He keeps zoning out.”

“Well it’s not my fault.”

Noah is here. He’s here, he’s back, he’s here.

The salve burns on his arm.

“We’ve got you, Noah. We’ve got you.” Her voice is soft like her hands are. She begins neatly wrapping a fresh bandage. “You wanna go back upstairs now? Dominic told us not to overwhelm you too much. You should feel better in a few weeks.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure. Thanks.” His voice sounds hollow as they pull his shirt sleeve back down. Julian pats his shoulder.

“You need anything, just let us know, ‘kay? We’re here for you.”

Here for him. They’re here for him.

They might be the only ones.

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