#a gay pirate(even tho all pirates are gay)

[andthebeanstalk]

"The Professor's Workshop"

An excerpt from my graphic novel script drafts, posted here without beta bc it motivates me to write. In this chapter, the protagonists David and Kuruk are being given a tour of Armadillo Island by its mayor.

"Just wait til you meet them!" RJ exclaims excitedly. "They're the mind of a generation - maybe two!" He now adds an additional spring to his step, and David has to jog to keep up with him, despite them both being very short men. Kuruk follows behind, looking deeply skeptical.

RJ leads them down a winding forested path to a more remote part of the village, continuing to talk about the island the whole time while occasionally asking friendly questions of his guests.

They arrive at a secluded building tucked away in the bright green foliage of the island. The building is made in the same unique colorful architectural style as the rest of the island, but it has an odd overall shape - as though it has seen many small additions and renovations over the years. Paint chips in a couple places, but otherwise it looks well-cared-for. Shiny metal vents and chimneys emerge from the roof and sides, gently emitting white smoke. A stone pathway leads from the sign to the door, nearly hidden in untamed tall grass.

Out front, a high-quality colorful carved wooden sign reads:

Doctor Professor Xosha Zapata, PhD

Chemist & Architect Extraordinaire

"The sign was a gift from me," RJ chirps, stopping for a moment to admire it.

"No kidding," David deadpans politely, obviously hiding a smile.

(Behind him, the side of Kuruk's mouth twitches upwards a little for just a moment.)

RJ is marches up the overgrown stone and knocks confidently on the door, which turns out to not be fully closed; it creaks open from his knocking.

RJ stands just outside of the doorway and shouts inside cheerfully, causing Kuruk to wince at the volume. "OH, PROFESSOR!!! Are you in, Professor? I've met the most lovely chaps and I'd love to introduce them to our island's premiere scientific mind!"

There is a distant muffled sound from within.

"... PROFESSOR?" RJ shouts again, looking slightly concerned, "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

An indistinct wobbly speech bubble comes from inside, ending in question marks.

RJ looks both worried and like a man on a mission. "WE'RE COMING IN TO CHECK ON YOU - ALRIGHT, PROFESSOR?" He shouts loud enough this time that David and Kuruk both wince.

RJ hustles in and our heroes follow hesitantly behind.

The small entryway opens into a large room with high ceiling. It appears to be a lab or a workshop of some kind. Skylight windows light the room with soft sunlight, and dust motes float in the air in the brightest of the rays of light.

In terms of the contents of the room, the place looks like if a cartoon professor somehow had even more ADHD than usual:

There are dozens of beakers and vials on a number of desks and tables. A few of the beakers sit on lit bunsen burners, bubbling with colorful substances and sending white smoke up into the vents above them. At least one beaker has bubbled over and created an unidentifiable burnt mass at its base.

There are multiple architectural drafting tables with designs and blueprints on them in various states of completion.

There are several chalkboards full of notes in messy handwriting.

Books, papers, notebooks cover nearly every flat surface and several of the non-flat ones. Many torn notebook pages have been taped to the walls. [I guess this fantasy world has an equivalent to scotch tape now. ... I'm fine with that.]

The only decorations are a cluster of very nice painting on a small section of the wall. (Readers looking very closely will notice they all have the same artist's signature - Epa, who runs the inn.)

There is nothing to suggest nefarious scientific activity. Real "absentminded professor" energy.

In the far corner of the room, a set of scaffolding and a ladder block off a small space.

"H-hello? RJ, is that you?" says a small speech bubble from behind the scaffolding.

"Aha!" RJ leaps in that direction impressively quickly for a tiny man in his 50s.

Before David and Kuruk catch up to him, they hear RJ's relieved and once again cheerful voice:

"Ah, professor! There you are, thank goodness!!! You had us worried for a moment there!"

"...'Us' ?" says the unknown person in a pinched voice.

David and Kuruk round the corner to see three things:

One: an incomplete 8-foot-tall architectural model of a building,

Two: a fallen ladder, and

Three: a very embarrassed-looking non-binary person whom they recognize as the amateur vigilante they last saw getting shoved into the town square fountain by Armadillo Woman. Ze is wearing overalls, safety goggles pushed up on zyr head, a white shirt with some almost neon-colored stains on it, and a safety harness.

Ze appears unharmed, but they are suspended in the air by a cord attached to the back of the harness, and they look exceedingly uncomfortable. Zyr feet are dangling high off the ground, and ze is slowly and involuntarily rotating in place.

"Oh." Ze says weakly at the sound of additional footsteps. "There's... more people to witness this. ...My lucky day." They look as though they'd rather melt away into the earth. As they speak, they continue to spin, and they miss their initial chance to look at David and Kuruk, not seeing their faces until spinning slowly back around.

RJ, however, continues with his introductions, gesturing grandly and earnestly. "Mister David, Mister Kuruk - please meet the esteemed Doctor-Professor Xosha Zapata! Professor, these are my new friends Kuruk and David! They're here for the festival!"

Behind RJ, Kuruk squints at being called RJ's "new friend." David just looks amused.

"Y-You can just call me Xosha actually I'm not really--"

Xosha stops as ze finally catches sight of David and Kuruk - zyr face somehow falls even further. "Ah. We've, uh, met, actually," they say with a pained smile.

RJ is delighted. "Really?!? Fantastic! You must tell me all about it! How you met, what everyone was wearing! Every detail!"

"Um, actually, do you think maybe somebody could get me down first, please?" Xosha says in a small voice.

RJ looks surprised to find Xosha still in the air; he presses his hand to his forehead. "Oh! Oh my! Of course of course - my apologies! - I just get so carried away! Gentlemen, would you assist me?"

David and Kuruk nod. Kuruk looks like he's questioning how his life has come to this.

"Tell us what to do, Professor!" RJ says with his hands on his hips.

What follows is a ridiculous comical sequence in which Xosha explains how this happened and the men help zyr get down.

Ze was standing on a tall ladder and working on the architectural model. The safety harness they're wearing supports their torso and pelvis, and it connects to a rope from a clever pulley system on the ceiling. The early light of dawn indicates that this was probably a few hours ago.

They lean too far to reach for something and lose their balance, kicking the ladder out from under them while simultaneously knocking the pulley controls out of their reach.

Their legs kick in the air as they tried to release themselves from the harness, but in their struggles they manage only to somehow tangle the straps of their overalls and cause a lot of discomfort.

The final flashback panel is a distant wide shot of the whole workshop with the lonely defeated figure of Xosha hanging comically from the harness in the background.

Per Xosha's direction, RJ and David find the pulley controls and begin to lower zyr down in stops and starts. The pulley system is not cooperating with them, and Xosha yelps in a mix of alarm and discomfort with each small drop. It looks very painful, and David winces in sympathy. RJ looks similarly apologetic.

After the first small drop, Kuruk moves quickly to stand under Xosha.

"I will catch you," he says, looking entirely unsure of himself, but ready nonetheless.

"Thank-- you," Xosha squeaks, "It's-- YAAHH--!!!"

They let out a final yelp as they drop the last few feet. Kuruk catches them from behind [either under the arms or by the harness] and slows their fall so they land safely on their feet. Kuruk continues to support them for a few seconds until they seem steady.

As soon as Kuruk lets go, however, Xosha whimpers and lowers zyrself to the ground in a comically pained ball. Evidently, hanging from a pelvis harness hurts one's crotch and hips like a motherfucker, and Xosha is too exhausted to pretend otherwise. They are still clearly embarrassed, but they seem to have accepted their humiliating fate.

RJ hurries over to help them take the harness off, crouching on the ground next to them and patting their shoulder consolingly. He asks them what happened, and he asks if they need help taking the harness off. Xosha accepts his help and explains, accompanied by 3-5 cartoony flashback panels:

In the flashback, ze is standing on a tall ladder and working on the architectural model. The safety harness they're wearing supports their torso and pelvis, and it connects to a rope from a clever pulley system on the ceiling that can be manually adjusted by the user. The early light of dawn indicates that this was probably a few hours ago.

Xosha leans too far to reach for something and loses their balance, kicking the ladder out from under them while simultaneously knocking the pulley controls out of their reach.

They are caught by the harness and the expression of pain on their face is ridiculous and exaggerated for humor.

Their legs kick in the air as they tried to release themselves from the harness, but in their struggles they manage only to somehow tangle the straps of their overalls and cause more discomfort.

The final flashback panel is a distant wide shot of the whole workshop - with the lonely defeated figure of Xosha gently swaying in the background.

In the present, Xosha buries their head in their hands and lets out a loud long groan; they lament how stupid their mistake was, and RJ reassures them that even geniuses make mistakes! Xosha insists that ze is not a genius. RJ declares that they are too modest. It is clear that this is not the first time they have had this conversation.

David takes in the absurdity of it all and he smiles at Kuruk across the room. Kuruk doesn't smile back, but he does meet David's gaze and there is a hint of a twinkle in his eye amongst his general bewilderment.

Finally, Xosha manages to get the harness off and sit in a chair, letting out a long sigh.

On the final page of the chapter, a large panel shows Xosha in a detailed, fully-rendered (shaded, inked, colored, etc.) shot with warm natural lighting. Ze looks up from their chair with an attempt at a smile that lands a little closer to a wince. The shot is framed to make them appear endearing in their awkwardness. They are both cute and anxious.

"So, uhh, I'm guessing you have some questions about yesterday?" ze says.

Below that panel, a banner with large font reads:

Tune in next time for Part 3, Chapter 7:

"The Professor."

[End.]

If you liked this and want to read the published scripts with concept art on AO3, you can do that! I get a comment on those like once every 3 months and every time it gives me serotonin for like 3 weeks tbh. If you don't mind an unusual reading format, then you can find sexy men tied up and rescued, gay sky pirates, budding friendships, autistic/ADHD friendship, so many Trans people, sexy fat characters, empowering disability representation, a group of actors who would fit right in with The Ember Island Players, a haunted mop, a magical trauma recovery library, a lesbian biker gang that robs imperialistic museums - AND SO MUCH MORE

Note to self: I think maybe I'll change Xosha's pronouns to they/them and zey/zem, instead of they/them and ze/zyr. Seems to fit better.

#original #the blacksmith #original character #original characters #I might delete this later #but I will eventually publish a more polished version of this scene with concept art on AO3 #graphic novel #short story #my graphic novel consists of about 13 parts/arcs that come together into one story #scripts and concept art for parts 1 and 2 are up on ao3. pt 1 is lots of hurt and some really juicy comfort. pt 2 is GAY SKY PIRATE TIME. #this is an excerpt from part 3. which is called The Amazing Armadillo woman and which i am frankly very impatient to finally finish! #This excerpt is from a chapter in which the guys get a tour of the town from the mayor. - RJ is the mayor. ('But please! Call me RJ!') #RJ is the real deal tho. He is based on Gomez Addams. RJ stands for Raul Johnston - after my two favorite Gomez actors #who are Raul Julia and John Astin - from the 90s movies and the 1964 tv show #fun fact! John Astin is the father of Sean Astin aka Sam Gamgee! #anyway all of RJ's his enthusiasm is 1000% genuine - he is just Like That. #and yes of course he loves his wife and children SO MUCH #also the concept art all has full image descriptions for visually impaired readers. #the finished novel will either have full image descriptions or - even better - an audiobook! #NOTE TO JACK: do not edit this post; this is not the most updated version of the script.

[soupbitch-moneybitch]

you know what's so gd impressive about ofmd? like, maybe the most impressive part of the whole already very impressive show? how well-rounded the characters are for how little time they have to be on screen

i spent many years in the fandom of another ensemble cast show that had a million seasons and hour-long episodes, and maybe like, five of the characters were worth the time of day. ofmd, tho, not only has an incredibly quality core cast, but even the characters they introduce for five seconds manage to have depth and appeal

take ned low's crew for example. we have a bunch of people who take up maybe a third of the episode's screen time, but by the end, the script and acting are so good that you're rooting for them as they unionize and sail away to greater pastures

then you have characters that are great on their own, but also enhance the main characters in the span of like six seconds

evelyn? a godsend, 11/10, want her back, and she was the impetus for mary taking control back over her life. steak "steaky" knife? rip big man, we knew you for two minutes but loved you, and you gave us slight insight into izzy's history/influence on the republic of pirates. hornigold wasn't even really hornigold and yet we /still/ managed to get backstory about him and learn things that added context to how ed turned into blackbeard

honestly, the amount of talent it takes to be able to make almost every character on the screen someone who either 1. drives the plot forward somehow, 2. is just delightful and entertaining, or 3. is a combination of both, all within a space the size of a needle tip is fucking astonishing. as a professional writer i am horny for how well these mother fuckers hone their craft, and as a fan of the show i'm just extremely well-fed

i've said it before, but this is genuinely so much more than a gay little pirate show (although it is also that, and i love that about it). it has so much artistic depth and everyone involved has talent coming out every orifice. i am so glad i have the privilege of watching it. every part of it is so refreshing, i am genuinely in constant awe

#the fandom was the walking dead btw #i was one of three people who watched it to the end #and i watched it for literally like #two characters #do not recommend #anyway #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #ig #diz says words

[butmakeitgayblog]

How about Easy A for Clexafication? I could see Clarke trying to help out a fellow gay by telling other kids in school that she slept with him. And then, thanks to her loud mouth friends, it gets out of hand with her trying to help out other guys and she gets labeled the school slut even though she’s never slept with anyone. At first Clarke leans into it and plays up the slut bit but soon realizes that it’s all too much. Her actual crush Lexa seems to be the only person who doesn’t believe the rumors. I see Lexa as the school mascot (the warriors) and she does the whole warrior getup with black eye makeup and riles up the crowd at pep rallies. Lexa also works at a local seafood restaurant where she dresses up like a pirate which is also a look that Clarke quite enjoys. Eventually the truth comes out and Clarke and Lexa become everyone’s favorite couple at school.

Ahoooo do I have a cavalcade of HCs for an Easy A au 👀.

First of all, they'd be childhood friends. The kind with weekly sleepovers and even a joint a 5th birthday party one year (despite their birthdays being 3-4 months apart, much to their parents dismay. But they insisted.) I'm talking the childhood friends who practiced witchcraft in each others backyards (potions of mud, cool lookin rocks, and leaves. Highly dangerous stuff), who learned to ride bikes together, who caught fireflies in glass jars together, who promised to grow up and get married to each other 'cuz boys are yucky' kind of friends.

And then middle school happened. And they both kinda went their separate ways.

Well.

More like Lexa grew into her own person. Doing things like joining the girls basketball team. And then volleyball. Even ruining their weekend plans with track and field practice one too many weekends in a row. She started branching out in her interests and making new friends, and left Clarke totally behind. Or so that's what Clarke has always thought (more on that later)

Cut to high school and they haven't spoken to each other in years. Not since about 3 weeks into 6th grade. There's no animosity or anything, it's just... They're strangers who occasionally wave and smile at each other in the school halls. Lexa way more often than Clarke ever does, but it's not like anybody's keeping a tally. Right? Because it doesn't matter because they don't know each other anymore. Clarke doesn't even really recognize Lexa as the same girl who used to wear matching Mutant Ninja Turtles pj shirts with her and stay up late staring at the glow-in-the-dark stickers on her bedroom ceiling while they talked for hours. Now Lexa is like, Ms. High School with all her Track and Field trophies and her badass Warriors mascot credentials (the pauldron, plastic sword, and warpaint coming across much more threatening than their old mascot, The Raccoons 😕 (tho there will always be something to be said for their freshman year when Lexa was forced to rally in the overstuffed costume while menacingly rubbing her lil raccoon-y painted hands together...)). That all has cemented her a seat at the Cool Kids Table.

Not to mention the fact that Lexa spent all of sophomore and junior year with her arm permanently attached to her (now ex) girlfriend's hip.

Not that Clarke ever cared. Or even noticed. So like, why did you even bring it up? ಠ_ಠ

Anyway.

So when her not-really friend but general acquaintance Monty asks her to... well, be his beard, Clarke agrees. In a way that, jesus fuckin hell, really got away from her faster than she ever anticipated. Because then Monty tells Jasper, and Jasper asks her to do the same, and before she even knows what the hell happened to this simple favor, everyone in school seems to believe that a painfully virgin Clarke is fucking the entire AV Club. And more.

It all spirals from there with the usual slut shaming and everything that goes along with society's hatred of women who have sex. It's only when her own best friend Raven/Wells (whichever, doesn't matter) turns on her - accusing her of being a slut and a liar and a terrible friend for not even telling them - that Clarke just says "haha Ok Fuck This" and goes all in.

Which. Whew. This is Clarke Griffin we're talking about. She's aware she's been blessed by puberty. So when she starts shaking her ass around school in tight jeans and corset tops, it has the exact effect she desires.

And then some.

More, in fact, than she had initially bargained for.

In the melee that follows of more guys bribing their way to be on the Griffin Bedpost Notches of Shame (and few a who missed the fucking memo that all of this is actually fake 😒), there is... Lexa.

Seemingly out of nowhere.

Where people had started parting in the hallways just to not touch her, Lexa seems to start showing up out of nowhere.

The smiles still come, and the friendly waves too. Nothing big. Nothing imposing, or like she wants something like everyone else. But then things like Lexa coming over to sit next Clarke during her break at the pep rally start happening (in her full Warriors getup to boot). Things like Lexa making little jokes to Clarke in passing. There's the moments when she asks Clarke if she's ok and offers her a ride after school, which Clarke always absently turns down. It's weird having Lexa back in her space again, but honestly, she's got too much on her plate to give it much thought. Because Lexa's just Lexa, and now Clarke's apparently the school slut, so... Their worlds are still very much divided.

Until eventually one night Clarke thinks she's actually going out on a date with a nice guy. I mean, she's known Finn since 10th grade. And he picks her up and opens the car door for her and everything. Like,,, this is most definitely a real date!

Except it's not, and he's a pervert asshole just like everyone tf else.

But thankfully, wouldn't ya know it, guess who happens to work at the very seafood/pirate themed restaurant that fuckboy Finn had decided on?

It's finally, FINALLY, in the quiet of Lexa's car when she parks them outside of Clarke's house that they actually talk. It starts with Clarke feeling like a fool for even thinking Finn could—... Not after everything. And Lexa of course does that thing she's taken to doing again. That calm, knowing, entirely too wise for her years kind of smile that Clarke still remembers from when they were kids.

Even in her ridiculous yet oddly attractive pirate's uniform (complete with a discarded eyepatch and clip on parrot) it's distractingly charming.

It's what has Clarke admitting that she doesn't know how she got into this mess. That she never meant to become this person. To which Lexa, in her infinite patience and wisdom, replies, "Clarke, you're still the same person you've always been. I know you. Nothing about you has changed."

Of course Clarke's dismissive answer to that is a smartassed, "Haven't you heard? I'm the school slut."

She can't help but smile at Lexa's laugh. "Actually, if I recall, you're the girl who once convinced me if I hung upside down by my feet from a tree, it'd help me grow taller."

"You can't say for sure that it didn't help," is Clarke's automatic response with a wave toward Lexa's general lanky, goddess-esque physique. Which earns her another laugh. Again, not that anyone's keeping a tally.

"True," is Lexa's response and, dammit, she's doing that all knowing smile-y grin thing again. "But you're also the girl who used to help me tie my shoes. And traded her pickles for my carrots. And taught me how to fold our secret notes so that nobody else could ever read them."

And, yeah, Clarke does remember that. Which in hindsight had been kind of stupid. It wasn't like they ever let their class time correspondence fall into the dastardly hands of anyone but each other, so the chances of interception were zilch making the whole exercise rather moot. But at the time it'd felt... important. Because what'd they'd had was only ever meant for just them.

What the hell even happened to those girls?

"You stopped answering my calls," is Lexa's simple reply. It doesn't even seem to hold any blame. "It was like... one day you just cut me out."

Which was not what had happened?

Was it?

Except, as Lexa gently explains that while, yes, she did start getting into sports, she still always tried to make time for Clarke. She did call and leave messages that kept going unanswered. Sent texts that more often than not were left on read. She'd ask Clarke to go to her games and track meets, sometimes would call her just to come out to eat with her and her teammates. But Clarke had always given her a disinterested promise for a million next times that never actually came.

Eventually Lexa just stopped trying because Clarke made it clear that she didn't like who Lexa was anymore. And it stings ten times worse because Lexa's doesn't sound angry or blaming. Just a little hurt. Maybe still a little sad even after all these years.

It's just one more thing to feel absolutely awful about. Like, she really is the universe's biggest asshole. She has no idea what to do with this revelation of her own failures, or the soft way Lexa keeps looking at her.

After that night things both change, yet stay completely the same. Because after that night when she'd apologized to Lexa and said she regreted doing what she'd done - that 6th grade her was an idiot. 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, and 11th grade her as well 🤧 - she was still the "school slut" and a social pariah, but she had her best friend back at least.

Her best friend who smiled her every time they passed in the hallway and sometimes walked her to class. Her best friend who now ate lunch with her and texted her on the weekends and would laugh at every single one of her jokes (fINE we're keeping a fucking a tally).

Her best friend, who when Clarke mentions is the only perso who talks to her without looking at her corset wrapped breasts, nonchalantly corrects, "Oh I look. Just... Respectfully."

It's hard to return the decency of that favor when Lexa walks away after leaning into Clarke's ear and whispering, "You know I prefer Ninja Turtles pjs anyway."

Clarke eventually comes clean about the whole fiasco, too the shock of everyone. Everyone, that is, except Lexa. Because Lexa kind of knew. Because, as Lexa says in all her glorious Warrior gear, when she kisses Clarke in front of the entire school at the end of the football team's pep rally��

"I told you, Clarke. I know you."

#anon #clexa #clarke griffin #lexa kom trikru #Easy A au

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Cameos & Familiar Faces

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized by favs in each category. No numbered lists anymore, tumblr be buggn'.

End of Aug Start Sept 2023

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 8fin - Oh the DRAMA. Why does the insane ex (my true love) remind me of the cartel leader from Romancing the Stone? Even the sides got HEA! It was fucking great!!!!! Charn remains a bonkers spoiled evil murderous brat with a cruel smile beloved by his one true paladin. Also: post it love note trope! Been a long while my old friend. NO SINGING!!!!! I do love that wedding jacket frock coat cape thing Charn wore. 

In conclusion: This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character of 2023. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. Add that to several "singing incidents" and pairs being a little weak in the chemistry arena, and this lands safely in 9/10 territory. It’s tons of fun tho: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat grey) ep 3 of 12 - This show is getting more and more lakorn each ep. Apparently the straights are having a class divide arranged marriage crisis. Who cares? Our boy is ALWAYS in trouble. Crazy that he has to save the people who betrayed him in a previous life - but I guess he chose revenge! That's unexpected.

Had to switch to grey and couldn’t find a working rip. It was frustrating and I wouldn’t have bothered except I like this show so much. Still, it means no screen caps because the rez is naff.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Uh oh. Kang wants to save Sailom and be his hero. The fact that K’s Pa puts no pressure on him whatsoever, makes me wonder if K's Ma committed suicide or something? It’s definitely the opposite parental dynamic we normally see in BL. I have to say, the pacing is great in the show. And the acting is on point. It’s really great. 

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - these two just kiss well. I mean not "rip your clothes off Taiwan-style," but sweet young boyfriends-esk. Joke wants to be claimed so bad. It’s great. I enjoyed this ep, unfortunately it looks like we have a manufactured angst drama drop in the next episode. Is this a 10 episode arc? I thought it was 12. It’s odd to have doom happening next episode already.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - Back story time! Ray and Mew are HARD to watch. Incestuous friend group gay is the worst. Omg I got such QAF vibes from this ep. Nick Boston Sand chats = very throw back 90s gay soaps. 

Location game moment: Top's hotel room is also Chan’s apartment in Laws Of Attraction. 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 1 of 8 - Ooo. Est is back! Hi handsome. Head of security suits you. Please lead out the new Waterboyy remake? You’re perfect for the role. (If it must happen.) Yi’s Pa is GREAT. Please give daddy a nice boy? Could that be our secondary couple for this series? 

Meanwhile, with the leads (sorry I was distracted by daddy) we got us an arranged marriage, run away bride, and an amnesia trope. Put in a secret baby and it's squarely 1980's Harlequin. Will there be Vikings? Sex herbs? Pirates? Dub con?

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 9 of 12 - Again with lovely sex scenes, it’s just the plot stringing them together is frayed. Also don’t fuck in an onsen. Both yech and ouch.

That goes for all y’all.  

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 7fin - Trash watch here! Honestly this was an okay ending, I’m not mad at it. If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

Summation: An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursued him, even though he’s about to marry someone else. A somewhat lackluster mame offering with less of the usual stellar chemistry, but all of the usual lies and manipulation. 7/10

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I skip everything to do with Tammy and it’s fine. There’s only about 20 minutes of fine but that’s more than enough. On the bright side. So far. No singing.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 24 eps - Cassanova Begins Part 2. Aw. It was sad. Another variation on the “my ghost boyfriend” trope (usually sad). 2/10 I don't do sad BL.

Next up is Merry Go Round featuring the pair from Destiny Seeker (we likey) who want to marry each other, but end up fake engaged to the same woman. Beard squared? Looks silly.

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - There are 2 things I like about this. I bet you can guess what they are.

Lee Long Shi

The whipping boy trope

There wasn’t enough of either in this first ep. ALSO the captions, sound effects, and voice over are truly next level bad. Utterly atrocious.

The 2 leads fucking around in the end credits was the funniest part of the whole show. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 7 of 8 - I am confused and frustrated about what the communication delay is between the two Juns. It feels artificial and narratively manufactured. But since this is a short form KBL and I know it will be resolved quickly, I’m not as annoyed as I would be if this were Thai BL. Still it feels audience manipulative. I also feel sorry for Simon. BUT it looks like it’ll be a sweet boyfriends final episode.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - Omg they’re so cute!!! Taiwan the purveyors of ultimate sappy gay domesticity. I am going to miss having these to nonsencing all over my dash.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) eps 3 of 13(?) - I love the punching thing - there is a lot of violent flirting in this show. I’m not mad about it. Ugh, poor thing has real abandonment issues. And now trust issues. I see why we’re getting 12-14 eps. This gonna be MESSY.

Meanwhile, does EVERYONE have a guest cameo? Not that I’m complaining. Hi BLIHID boys! Now I need to rewatch that show. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Oh my God the next morning w/ couple 2 was so darn cute. They are all such terrible flirts with each other. Honestly, this show makes me laugh more than any other BL currently airing. I’m not sure it is meant to be as funny as I find it. While couple 3 (the mature characters) is by far my favorite, I actually think they don’t work with the other two pairs, they feel superfluous to the show. I like the show better because they’re in it, but it feels like two different BL‘s stuck together. KBL certainly can’t handle more than two couple threads at the same time. 

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ugh. I am such a sucker for the FighterTutor dynamic. Why so good? Uh oh. Real kiss! KBL you're spoiling us. But, isn’t sad-seme-hyung dating some chick? Argh. Poor Sunwoo. This show is even worse at repping Fighter's character sympathetically. Who knew that was possible?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - The date episode! Even Japan is doing it now. And these two who have been living/fucking together for ages still dance around each other like junior high kids. I gotta say, I watch this one twice because Vicki has different subs from Gaga. I feel like it’s easier to understand if I watch two different translations of the same script. But it’s still quite a taciturn piece. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Sides are great. It was mostly a cute ep with tiny bits of Progress and a proper Confession. I miss Shin’s siblings. And then… the much loathed amnesia trope. Really?

Everyone say it with me: Must you, Japan? 

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 5fin - It ended happier than I was expecting. Optimistic for one couple, and most likely optimistic for the other.

Summation: What to say about this offering from Hong Kong? It’s different, a mix of early CBL, Taiwanese shorts, and Pinoy visuals. It felt like the story was 2 independent shorts that had been lengthen and then stuck together, and I wish they'd been approached as separate and tighter entities. Nevertheless, this was a complex little piece,  interesting in a sweaty grungy way, with a certain aura of queer authenticity that made it simultaneously tense, unpredictable, and refreshing. I’m not sure I would necessarily call it BL, but any county’s early foray into the genre usually starts out this way, so perhaps nascent BL? Worth watching, especially if you enjoy stuff from the Philippines and Taiwan. 7/10

In case you missed it

Dinosaur Love ended its run but the final 2 eps are behind a paywall. Word on the street is they aren't good anyway (shocker) so I'm marking it as DNF and moving on with my life. If I can find em grey I'll watch 'em merely so I can give it a rating, but I can't imagine it will get more than 5/10. Seriously, do not bother.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming September

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/? Venus in the Sky (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hidden Agenda hitting us up with a hug + lap + kiss. Very nice.

I think these two might be GMMTV's best cuddlers.

Boys, I think your JoongDunk is showing.

(Last week) 

#this week in BL #bl news #BL reviews #korean bl #japanese BL #Taiwanese BL #Thai BL #Rakutan Viki #gagaoolala #GMMTV #Hidden Agenda #JoongDunk #Kisseki: Dear to Me #Be Loved In House: I Do #Laws of Attraction review #laws of attraction #stay still review #hong kong bl #wedding plan review #stay by my side review #2023 BL reviews #new bl #upcoming bl #bl 2023

[chaussetteblanche]

If you still write for kit, can I request something where the reader is kits gf and comes out to him as bisexual, and is really nervous about it even tho he’s super accepting (like are you sure you’re okay with it) bc they get scared but he’s super reassuring 🥺

hi love ! yes, i still write for kit ! of course :) thanks for requesting !! sorry for taking so long to answer !

pairing : kit connor x female!reader summary : you come out as bi to kit word count : 1.2k warnings : none, i think

You'd first felt it when you were younger. You loved the Totally Spies and spent your afternoons watching the show when you'd come home from school. And you especially loved Britney. She was like the perfect mix of Sam, Clover and Alex. Who wouldn't love her ? But you didn’t think anything of it back then.

Then you had the same sort of feeling when you'd first watched Pirates of the Caribbean as a young teenager. Will Turner was gloriously handsome, of course, but you felt the same way about Elizabeth Swan. She was graceful, not to mention beautiful, and could handle her own in battle, she could shoot, kick ass... What couldn't she do ? You didn’t think twice about it then, either.

Same happened when you met a girl at camp. She was nice and beautiful and really funny. You were so happy to be her friend. You didn’t realize what the butterflies in your stomach whenever she touched you meant.

You'd never thought too much about these feelings, figuring everyone felt the same. It's totally normal to wonder what it would be like to kiss your female friends, right ? Everybody did that, didn't they ?

A lot of your friends came out over the years, so you grew more familiar with the LGBTQ+ community, sexualities and gender identities. But you never questioned your own. And why would you ? You were now dating Kit, had been for a few months, actually, so why would you even think about questioning your sexuality ?

And then Kit got cast for Heartstopper. And with him, you dived even deeper into the world of queerness. And more than once, when helping him rehearse his lines, you'd read the script and thought : hey, I feel this way sometimes, too. But still, you didn't think too much about it.

And then, Heartstopper finally came out. All of the cast gathered to binge watch it in one day. You had been invited too, along with the other significant others. Everyone had to bring something, so you and Kit had made a heart-shaped chocolate cake that morning.

You were all snuggled up on the couch and Joe finally pushed play on the first episode. You were leaning in Kit’s side with your legs laying over his lap. He wrapped an arm your shoulders and pressed a kiss to your head when the intro started.

You squealed along with everyone when Joe first appeared on the screen. Everyone screamed and laughed whenever a new character would appear on the screen. You watched episode after episode, glee filling your being and shining with pride as you watched Kit’s amazing performance.

You got quiet when Nick started questioning his sexuality. Your heart sped up when he did the “Are you gay” quiz on the internet. You quickly excused yourself to go to the bathroom.

You tried to take deep breaths as you locked yourself in the bathroom. You’d felt the same things for women that Nick felt for men. Was it possible that you weren’t- straight ?

You locked the door behind you and leaned on the sink. Did you- like girls ? You looked at yourself in the mirror and winced at the look on your face. You didn’t like this. You didn’t like not knowing. A knock at the door startled you.

“Y/N ? You alright, love ?” Kit. You splashed some water onto your face and flushed the toilet, drying your face. “Yeah, just really had to go all of a sudden,” you lied as you unlocked and opened the door. Kit looked down at you and chuckled. “Oh, sorry, my love.” “It’s fine,” you laughed, “no worries, babe.”

You couldn’t get it out of your head for weeks. Did you like girls ? Were you pretending to ? Were you a lesbian ? No, you liked Kit. What were you ? You talked it over with your friends a lot. They all told you the same thing : “With time, you’ll know.” Maybe you would think you were bi for a while and then discover that you didn’t like men at all, or the contrary. It frustrated you to not know. No one else but you could know what your sexuality was. And the answer wouldn’t magically appear on a silver platter, as much as you wished it would.

Kit noticed your change in behaviour. Your temper was shorter than usual and you acted distant from him. After worrying for a few weeks, he finally confronted you. You were in the kitchen, making some instant ramen when he finally talked to you about it.

“Y/N ?” he asked tentatively. “Yeah ?” you hummed absent-mindedly. “Is something going on these days ?” You tensed at his words. He noticed immediately and touched your arm. “I don’t mean to upset you, love, but I just want to let you know that if something’s the matter with you, with us or with me, I’m here and you can talk to me about it you want to.”

You wanted to cry at his kindness and thoughtfulness. “I-“ Your voice caught in your throat. A ball formed in your stomach as you thought of voicing your thoughts and worrying. How would he react? Of course he'd understand, but- What ifs flooded your brain as you spluttered like a fish out of water. He took your hand in his, bringing you back to reality as he kissed your knuckled. "You don't have to talk about it if you're not ready to, you know." "No, I- I want to." You took a deep breath. Kit looked at you, giving you his undivided attention. "I've been feeling like this for a while now, and it only got stronger when we watched your show together because it really put it in front of me. Like I couldn't ignore it any longer, you know?" Kit tilted his head to the side, somewhat confused as to what you were speaking about. "I- I think I'm bisexual." The word felt alien in your mouth. "I think I like both boys, especially you, of course, and girls. I- I'm attracted to both."

Kit smiled at you, squeezing your hand. "Thank you for telling me. I know it's not easy." "No," you chuckled, wiping a stray tear from your eye, you didn't even know why you were crying, "it's not. But you make it easier." "And how do you feel about it?" "I- okay, I guess. It's good to know there are others like me, like us. H-how do you feel about it?”

“I think it just gives me one more thing to love about you,”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” you asked nervously, worrying your bottom lip. Kit nodded, still smiling. "Not in the slightest. I'm so proud of you. Can I kiss you?" You nodded. "Of course, this doesn't change how I feel about you in the slightest." He hummed and leaned forward, wrapping you up in his arms as he pressed his lips against yours. You closed your eyes, relishing in the feeling and comfort he brought you. He pulled away. "I don't think I'm ready to tell everyone yet, though." "No, of course, you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to. You don't owe anyone anything."

#kit connor x you #kit connor x reader #kit connor

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Steddyhands is fun because each of them have a Type even tho at first glance it would appear they do not

Stedes type is Leather Wearing Dressed All In Black Competent At Pirating Could Probably Kill Me Has Probably Stabbed Me, I Could Fix Him

Izzys type is disaster drama students who are entirely Extra about everything they do in life (and who will send him to an early grave or at the very least give him a headache)

Eds type is bitchy, stubborn men who dress in fine clothing (LOOK at Izzy folks and tell me I'm wrong his outfit is on point and kinda formal looking) and who he trusts enough to Know His Secret About Killing. Also he must be their gay awakening AND they should be vaguely closeted

#ofmd #steddy hands #blackbonnet #stizzy #blackhands #stede bonnet #izzy hands #edward teach

[rupertgayes]

How would you pitch watching Due South to someone who doesn't know it?

THE PREMISE: mountie from the northern reaches of canada goes to chicago to avenge dead dad (also a mountie), gets into buddy-cop shenanigans with a detective. said detective leaves the show in season 3 and gets replaced by another detective, shenanigans continue to ensue. there's also a dog. he's very cute.

THE PITCH: honestly, after being in the spn fandom and having most of popular culture awash with prestige shows (that are not spn, but like spn are typically dark and gritty and like killing characters off too) and having most of the popular media landscape try to cover their collective asses by having an aloof, 'you-can't-make-fun-of-this-because-we're-not-taking-it-seriously-ourselves' air, it was truly refreshing to sit down with a close friend of mine and check out this show.

i'm being completely serious when i say there's a certain je ne sais quoi about this show. is it because it's from the 90s? perhaps. is it because it's canadian? maybe. i wasn't even alive when this show first started airing and i'm not a media analyst. it basically takes the premise of the dudeley do-right cartoon and asks 'okay, but what if that was like, a real guy?' and fucking runs with it to the wildest heights. it's a comedy, but it's also so bizarre in some ways that it makes it a truly unique treat to watch. i love psych and brooklyn 99 for having a comedic procedural aspect, and neither of them are comparable in whatever it is that due south is doing.

there's honestly a lot of heart and soul in the entire show, and it has the ability to shift from just being comedic to having drama, mystery, and moments that pull at your heartstrings. it's a show that you can enjoy on the surface as a fun episodic show with fun characters and fun moments, but it also lends itself quite well to extrapolating on the characters, their motivations, etc. (and by etc i'm also including any shipping you might want to do).

i won't say it's a paragon of DEI, but again, i think it has a level of earnestness which makes any slip-ups it does have something i can kinda view with indulgence, versus shows that are making the same (or worse) mistakes 20+ years after this show already ended. these characters are treated with a level of dignity and respect, and i think overall the characterization is pretty consistent - there are some shifts happening between seasons 1-2 and 3-4, but i feel like it has more to do with budgets, a change in creative team, etc., versus writers not 'getting' certain characters.

there's also a lot of memorable episodes, scenes, bits. i think the latter seasons are more campy (my favorite) and some eps from s1 and 2 make for legitimately some great television. even the more mid episodes have something worthwhile, too. some of my fave moments in no order:

fraser (the mountie) saving and talking to? a rat in a strip club

also him going to a leather club

twice

and meeting a mountie in a latex version of his red serge uniform

using a tarp as a parachute

mafia egg conspiracy

aliens??

due south but make it silence of the lambs a little bit

performance arsonist

lake pirates? ghost ship?

also why are most of the major bad guys here doing some form of environmental crime? get your captain planet on ig, i'm into it

also fellow cops can also be bad guys. acab ig??

sick muscle cars eric kripke himself would've enjoyed. sometimes they get set on fire tho

due south but make it to wong foo thanks for everything

fraser running away from women so he doesn't have to kiss or interact with them

way too much time in closets, in general.

fellas is it gay to ask your new partner of one week maybe to pretend he's a woman so he can decide if he finds you attractive

there are red ships and green ships but no ships like partnerships :)

and to reiterate about the dog: there's a dog who's half wolf and all deaf and fraser can talk to him 'because he (the dog) reads lips'

his dead dad shows up too sometimes

anyway, it was really nice to watch this show for the first time, there are still moment i scream-laugh at because they're just so ridiculous and i'd never catch any other moments like that in any other show. i definitely see why there's still active fans for it thirty years later. there's also some wild shipping fodder here, which is at least partially why there are still fics getting written for these guys today. destiel if the cw weren't cowards etc etc. when i watched the finale, i cried tears of joy because while i'd miss the characters, they got an ending that actually seemed to fit, instead of it being a rush job, which is not unique to spn but, you know.

also you can watch it for free on youtube rn.

#asks #i did go from the pilot to s3 personally but my friend wanted me to see the second ray asap lol #the whole show is good tho! great even :) #due south #ds30below

[beanghostprincess]

Both of usopp's parents were gay they were in a lavender marriage for their own protection. They lived like this until they were unhappy and wanted to be free. Banchina allowed yasopp to leave and live his life openly. He still had a lot of unresolved trauma shit ton of disappointed daddy issues that caused him to struggle with fatherhood.( I honestly believe that he and sanji talked to each other, like actually talked. they would have a lot in common) and a lot internalized homophobia so he's still somewhat in the closet. His crew mates know, he didn't tell them he's never said it out loud like ever but they know.

Banchina tho. She was never a pirate but she was the one set truly free. She cut her hair and started wearing more masc clothing she made a lot of friends. Started a book club with just lesbians, she had a short term partner she was a pirate who would doc in syrup village. They were a thing for a while Ussop was too young to remember her tho. Banchina was never ashamed of her identity even when she was married. She lived her life open and happy until she died.

Usopp didn't really think about it at the time. (Late at night on the sunny He thought about it and it made sense "oh shit my mom a lesbian...") He just liked seeing her happy and he also liked all the nice ladies who would play and give him candy when they were there. Even when she died they stayed around and helped him, cooked for him, cleaned for him and taught him basic needs until he was old enough to do it on his own. At the time usopp was young and still played pirates so they were on his "crew" they played along seeing this was helping him cope a little and it was really cute.

"Oh shit my mom is a lesbian" and he just blurts it out one day and Nami is like "what the fuck are you talking about". It's the funniest concept to me-- Also, this is really cute. I love lavender marriage headcanons and this just makes so much sense somehow.

Usopp: My dad is gay and my mom was a lesbian. That makes me bisexual. Nami: That's not how it works, moron. Usopp: I'm still bisexual, though. Nami: Congrats?? Mm. It's funny because my mom was a lesbian too- Usopp: SEE??? I AM TELLING YOU THAT'S HOW- Nami: THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!

#honestly both yasopp and banchina look gay af #one piece #yasopp #banchina #usopp #cat burglar nami

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e3 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

squeezing this one in riiiiight before the next two eps drop lol. anyway these posts are about me processing these episodes and if you want to read them then that's cool too. but fair warning this is gonna be a fucking mess.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

show opens on zheng leading a raid and INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH. this might be the first time we've seen a raid where like. the background music is kinda moody. and what's odd is that it has like the same level of comedically over-the-top violence and characters just having a casual conversation as like, the e5 cold open. but there's sad piano and strings doing tremolo in the background. i have no idea what this means.

god. zheng is so fucking hot.

i love olu's "no, no, sorry, bruv." and the FACE HE MAKES AFTER!!! so good

olu's a feminist

ZHENG IS SO FUCKING HOT

~champers?~ stede you are such a dork. i need to pinch ur cheeks.

yeah fuck the english!!

zheng saying "everyone's cracking down on the little guy" makes me wonder if the show is gonna do anything abt how the end of the golden age of piracy was like. a year off. which i only know from reading a few fics where the authors incorporated that into the plot. and there was the one trailer where we see zheng in jackie's bar while stede's giving everyone a speech so yknow what that might be where all this is going. big pirate battle at the end of the season, right?

another thing ive been wondering abt tho is just how much is this show gonna completely fuck with history. because like. is zheng yi sao gonna conquer the fucking caribbean. are we just going completely off the rails re: historical accuracy and inventing entire major historical events?? like crocs and pinocchio and pirates from different historical periods all existing at the same time and in the same place is one thing but if the characters like. overthrow england. then ofmd just straight-up exists in an alternate timeline at that point.

stede "the gentleman pirate kills with kindness" bonnet being so impressed with zheng is so cute to me tho

fhsjkgdhfushl oh my god when zheng snaps her fingers and stede hurries to refill drinks the other captain guy grins and flashes finger guns at stede and this is SO fucking funny to me

zheng being like "noooo it's stupid teehee" tucking her hair behind her ears ALSO very funny to me

whose job was it to make the letter N out of caviar for the title card in this episode bc it looks fantastic. got little serifs and everything

stede taking his towel duties VERY seriously and just. dropping them on zheng's desk for no reason. even olu is like "stede what the fuck are you doing"

obsessed with the running gag of stede being like "i always say that!" and other characters being like "no you fucking dont"

stede having zero impulse control and seeing the abacus and just being like "hey what the hell is this thing" and shaking it around. me too, king.

i wont lie tho part of me wonders if stede like. going overboard with towel duty and messing shit up is on purpose. like is he playing dumb so zheng lets her guard down just in case he needs her to think he's completely helpless?? bc at the end of the episode he does get one over on her and i assume it's partly bc she underestimated him. or am i just reading too much into it lol.

but idk it's weird that olu's like "ok stede zheng is busy" and stede's just like "im gonna shake this thing now teehee"

WAIT ALSO backtracking a bit. why were stede and olu shadowing zheng at the beginning of the episode. i mean olu i get, it's bc she has a crush on him (who can blame her) but what's the in-universe justification for zheng being like "yeah alright white boy u can come too"

stede's gay little run out of the room. GO GET YOUR MAN!!!!

awww the crew all look so sad at how messed up the ship is :( THAT'S THEIR HOME!!!

I KNEW THE GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 WAS GONNA KILL ME WHEN IT SHOWED UP IN S2 BUT THIS WAS TOO FUCKING MUCH. THE WAY IT TRAILS OFF AND WE JUST HEAR THE WIND ECHOING. FUCKINGGGGG CLAWING AT MY EYES

i love that there's knife stuck in the painting guy's dick. stupid gags like that never get old. also if that was izzy it's extra funny like what the fuck did he even do that for

also have we ever actually seen the outside of the door to stede's cabin like this before??? we saw those dutch guys get chased down this hallway but idk about. the door.

the crew is too busy feasting on raw bird like they're extras in a zombie film to hear stede calling for ed. love that.

the two people that the camera focuses on individually are jim and izzy. makes sense bc these are the characters who i think are gonna have the most important shit going on re: the fact that they all tried to kill ed.

stede's painfully awkward smile after "um... hi." i mean honestly tho what the fuck else do you say to walking in on this

oh shit jim was totally about to tell stede what happened tho. and then archie interrupted with "oh shit, you're stede?????"

this must be so fucking funny from archie's perspective tho. must've heard so much abt this guy and now she finally gets to meet the main character of the story she stumbled into about a third of the way through. and he's kinda just some blond guy.

stede sounds so defensive too tho when archie's like "i thought you'd be taller, charismatic, muscly" bc god that's exactly what he thinks he should be. i mean ok stede is charismatic in a very unique way but his whole e1 fantasy of having a beard and being all macho and badass was just putting all his insecurities on blast. and now archie is like "this is the guy blackbeard was so fucked up over?? really????"

shoutout to archie saying "got tired" when theyre all saying ed retired

also why was wee john in this shot. like not even just in the shot he's just sitting RIGHT behind stede listening to the whole thing. he doesn't have a single line.

stede rolling his eyes and ignoring izzy is so good. yes king dont take the bait

oh ok wee john was there so that we can see frenchie go over to him and give him a fist bump in the background while stede walks away to stare off into the distance

eddie on tha beach

piggie!

cave! remember when we were all like "CAVE KISS???? ARE THEY GONNA KISS IN THE CAVE??????" it would be funny if this is it for the cave. just off in the distance for one shot. cant actually tell if this is the cave they were posting pictures of last fall tho and idrc enough to try and figure it out

pig's name is ruthie. ed why did your subconscious name the pig ruthie.

why did ed's subconscious make hornigold tell him "open up for the cargo ship" ed your daddy issues are fucking insane

hornigold fully like rubs ed's chest for a second there. kinda a weird choice there.

"last time i saw you, you said you were gonna flay my skin and feed it back to me" man what is it with these pirates and forced autocannibalism, huh? i think getting flayed would hurt more but skin's probably easier to eat than toes so idk which i'd prefer. no i dont know why im pondering this either

smthng abt how this is ed hallucinating this whole bit where hornigold pinches his nose and force-feeds him soup is so funny to me. it's a metaphor for ed dragging himself kicking and screaming to therapy.

frenchie telling fang to stfu scjgdfchjxgk

fucking incredible line delivery from joel fry through the whole "it's quite hot, im burnin up here! should we go and get some coolin' bevvies?" bit. love it.

uhh line break

also bro auntie is dead-on about the guilt. i dont blame the crew at all for what they did but this + the whole bird-eating sequence bro. they all liked ed. they cared abt him. other than archie, they all knew him as a pretty cool person. like BRO im gonna have to make another post abt this but the trauma of like, someone you liked becoming so suicidal that he puts you in increasingly miserable situations hoping you'll snap and kill him and he keeps escalating it until you have no choice but to kill him for your own safety. but you know he was a funny and chill person before this. and you know he only did this bc he wanted to die. dude this shit is fucking heavy.

anyway cut to jimolu lol

bro what IS going on in towels. i love how stede just passes around towels for smelling. is this something people have done literally ever or is this just so we can have chloroform towels at the end of the episode

sorry i know in the last post i was sort of squinting at the bit where olu forgot how to pronounce china but the was he mispronounces eucalyptus is just so satisfying to hear i cant even be mad abt it

awwwwgh u can tell jim was scared to tell olu abt kissing archie

lmaoooo when jim says "i saw her boobs" olu's head WHIPS around and he's like "oh??" all wide-eyed dbhjgkhdfyjsk

naw im sorry this is cute. this is a cute tealoranges scene. yes it's jim telling olu abt how they hooked up with someone else but bro i LOVE relationships with this kind of comfortable discussion abt sex and abt relationships in general. i mean there's a lot more for them to talk about still but in a worse show this wouldve been a whole screaming match. instead we got jim saying "you're kinda the best friend i tell everything to" and joking about boobs and UGH. it's so cute!!!!

it's also so fucking funny tho. "i saw her boobs" "oh?? okay, nice" "both of them" "nope, too much" WHY IS THAT WHERE HE DRAWS THE LINE HFKHSGJKFKKJFHK

also when did jim see archie's boobs tho. like ok realistically they've seen each other in varying stages of undress just bc it's not that big of a ship and there's only so much privacy. but the funnier answer is that after ed kicked them out of the secret room and a few minutes later a gunshot went off (who did the rest of the crew think pulled the trigger, i wonder) and they think izzy's dead probably. and then jim and archie decided this was a good time to hook up.

wait i forgot abt the nebulous amount of time between the mutiny and stede walking in on them all eating a dead bird. who fucking knows how much time that was tho. but they could've hooked up then i guess

GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. IM SOBBING.

the song gets to play out more in this scene and ohhhh baby i missed this piano piece. also stede looks more annoyed than upset. he's just casually yoinking things out of the wall. and then he sees the ones on the ceiling and is like "really, ed?"

i think i said this in the tags of a gifset but izzy says "don't cry, bonnet" when stede's back is to him and i just think it's funny bc stede literally wasnt crying. he just looked kinda pissed off. izzy continues to not understand ed or stede even a little bit.

also i love how the music changes by just playing a minor chord and then there's like a spooky echo and then. no more background music.

i just realized izzy's crutch is literally just a mop he's holding upside down. this is funny to me for some reason

"he was a wild dog and we dealt with him like one" izzy hands racism moments

why does izzy even lie about this. why does he say "no i could never do that" when literally he did. he looked right at ed's face as jim hit it with a fucking cannonball. like. what fucking purpose does lying about this even serve. in what way does that benefit izzy. idgi

also ive heard that apparently ppl think he did this to spare stede or something but 1. why would he not want to specifically torture stede as much as possible 2. this is literally not sparing stede bc stede would spend the rest of his life scouring the entire caribbean hoping to find the island where they dropped ed.

RANDOM fucking idea tho but what if they did maroon him but it was on the island from 1x02. that wouldve been great for ed probably. get therapy from the old guy. have some coconut rum drink. chill out. oh well instead they shoved ed into a secret closet and left him there to die from a traumatic head injury.

hornigold calling ed "bro" was such a dead giveaway for me that this was a dream sequence or whatever. like from trailers and stuff i had already figured that this guy was hornigold and that he was probably a ghost or something but i think i mightve been questioning it a little bit at this point. but yeah anyway ed says "bro" and while obviously we dont know exactly what hornigold was like, he didnt sound like the kind of guy to say "bro"

i do love how hornigold's like "you worried you're insane?" and ed's just like "yeah a little bit!"

hornighost: you gotta move on or blow your brains out. or... we can make some soup. ed: yeah let's do soup.

wait stede told zheng that they marooned ed. and then zheng is like "well it's at least mutiny-adjacent" like no im pretty sure that's literally just a regular mutiny

bro rubio qian is so good at making faces

i love how ed's like "you ever thought about selling these shoes?" like who the fuck is hornigold going to sell them to. where does ed think they are.

OUGH RETURN OF ED'S HAIR ALL UP IN A BUN!!!!

ough... return of ed's trauma :(

ughughghuhguhughughgffffff every time i hear ed's voice in the bathtub scene i want to cryyyyy SOMEONE HUG THIS MAN I SWEAR TO GOD

also hornigold's mouth definitely moves in this shot where ed climbs off his body lol

hnnng... ed arm

oughuhgu and a strand of the wig came out of the bun WHY IS HE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

i cant believe for months i had my fingers crossed for the "person A thinks person B is dead" trope with ed hearing about the fuckery but instead i got it THE OTHER WAY AROUND. AAAAAAAAAAAHH

yo is hornigold wearing like. a flag. idk why i just noticed this but there's like a giant metal rung with rope tied through it holding his whole robe-ish situation together. is that a flag

very random thought but i love how tv shows just cut back and forth btwn plots and one plot might basically be one conversation but every time we cut back theyre in a different setting and we dont see how they got there. like the cut from stede walking in on the crew eating a bird to all of them back on zheng's ship eating soup. and now we went from ed yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" at hornighost's hut and now they're on a beach talking abt what the fuck is going on. why did they go there. who knows. doesnt matter.

ed is so fucking stressed abt being in the gravy basket. poor man is nervously playing with the big stick and trying so hard not to lose his cool.

damn he threw that stick really far tho. good arm.

im sorry but it's SO fucking funny how zheng is trying to seduce olu in this scene and she's like "whats the status of your boatmance is it... ongoing?" *unsheathes sword* like girl that's not seduction that's a full-on threat. i mean it's still hot dgmw but it's unclear what exactly you're going for here

YES STEDEY-BOY

loving the jaunty little escape music

archie and jim holding haaands

stede: you always say you have perfect aim black pete: ive never said that roach: you always say that lucius, throwing his beloved boyfriend under the bus: you said it today

buttons is so fucking loud fhjkhgyejkthfjkhg. ngl i relate tho

obsessed with the noise button makes when he slides across to the Revenge

and they use tea towels to slide over!! god stede really made the most out of his time in towels

~~

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE how olu is the one sitting on the desk with his legs dangling and kicking during this makeout session

also obsessed with how theoretically olu could've seduced zheng out of killing the crew and it's possible that none of this was necessary

wait i literally just realized that they stole the wheel not just so that zheng couldn't follow them but bc the Revenge didnt have one lol

ugh ed's tits look so good what the hell

ed in his head instantly associates the phrase "calico jack" with someone going "WHOOHOO" at the top of their lungs

oughu FUCK i did not fucking realize this but ed is taking hornigold's presence here as confirmation that he's not loveable. earlier hornighost said "you're afraid you're unlovable" but then when he's on the cliff and he's like "you brought me here because you hate yourself" ed is like "im not loveable." ohhhhhh fuck

and then hornigold is like "and you're afraid to do anything about it. but im not" and then throws the rock off the cliff. this is the shittiest part of ed's brain calling him a pussy for not killing himself and telling him he deserves to die. fuuuuuuuuck me.

oh boy okay. ed got yanked off the cliff. stede is heading into the secret room. idk if i even have anything to say about the mermaid sequence like i cant believe this shit is real. fuck. this is a fever dream. they really just... wrote this. filmed it. put rhys darby in a fish tail. FUCK

ok the two things i have to say about this. first: the fucking flashback montage in this sequence makes me stop breathing like every single fucking time. secondly: when theyre face-to-face in ed's mermaid fantasy there's a split second where ed sort of jolts forward a tiny tiny tiny half of an inch. and i have no idea if it's intentional. but it makes me think of how in the "you wear fine things well" scene ed TOTALLY STEPS IN THINKING STEDE'S ABOUT TO KISS HIM.

WRITTEN BY ALYSSA LANE AND ALEX SHERMAN. SHOUTOUT TO THOSE GUYS.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd 2 #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #score #alyssa lane #alex sherman #txt #mine #og #s2e03 #blackbonnet #crew of the revenge #tealoranges #ofmds2rwwiptjdmtaors

[uselessheretic]

okay opinions on characters are all different and one of the things i think need to be dissuaded is the idea that izzy fans all have the same brain but i feel like general trends the majority of fans agree on is:

izzy hands has made many mistakes and a lot of them are because he has moments where he's not very smart

this is also because izzy is an antagonist which is not the same thing as a villain

ed/izzy's relationship is complex where it isn't just one bad guy, it's a mutually toxic relationship that has degraded over the years from a lack of communication, mental illness, and burn out

neither ed or izzy are abusers

izzy/stede's relationship is bad and it's more stede's fault than izzy's

that's kinda funny tho which is why stizzy is so popular

calling the navy was a bad thing to do. however, they are also pirates in a constant state of fucking each other over so who cares

"izzy redemption arc" isn't something people are super invested in because the show doesn't really do?? redemption arcs? izzy character development and making friends outside of ed though is something we are anticipating

izzy isn't racist and at this point in time just block me if you think he is this conversation has gone nowhere and i doubt we'll reach a consensus since any arguments from izzy fans are dismissed off the bat

viewing izzy as homophobic or struggling w toxic masculinity is actually not universally agreed upon! in general, i feel like people mostly lean towards izzy is not homophobic, he's just gay and stupid. i would say there's a spectrum of opinions on izzy and his relationship to masculinity with a more common interpretation being that his storyline has very little to do with masculinity.

ed choking izzy made sense in the moment and honestly they're pirates, izzy fucked around and found out, and it was just really hot.

ed sneaking into his room and permanently mutilating him, however, is crossing the line. this is a bad thing to do and izzy wasn't "asking for it"

that said, ed's a perfect babygirl and we want nothing but the best for him because he's never done anything wrong in his life ❤️ however, ed as a character would probs feel better if he apologized

ed/stede is endgame and it's extremely unlikely that steddyhands would be endgame even if some people would prefer that. as a fandom, we are content with edstede being endgame because stede makes ed happy. this may be a shock, but many people who are into ed/stede/izzy also really like ed/stede. it's fun to see them spitroast izzy tho.

#the izcourse #long post #ofmd

[panic-like-the-disaster-you-are]

SOO I JUST FINISHED HEARTSTOPPER SEASON 2 RN.

AND UHHH I SMILED AND CRIED SO MUCH.

I LOVE HEARTSTOPPER SO MUCHHH.

(I'll warn you now, heartstopper SPOILERS ahead:)

I loved how we got to see Elle much more than the books, and i love the fact that she's an artist and she found other queer people in her new school and stuff.

I LOVE TORI SO MUCH. The "you're a pathetic little man" scene!!!! The scene where she dug her nails into David for being a dick when they were at the dining table. The scene where she told Nick to either take care of Charlie or he does!! I love her. Tho she did come accross darker this season as I've seen other people say

And the part where Isaac said "I've never really have any celebrity crushes" just hit different tbh, and the moment where he held the ace book and just strut out the library omgg. And Crush Culture by Conan Gray was perfect for Isaac i think.

And one thing, I never expected to see tao and charlie kiss, even if it was a dare...

Ohh, Nick's coming out at the party scene was slightly better in the book tbh

Also, I love the teachers (Farouk, Ajayi, and singh).

Ohhhhh, Imogen. Babe you are an idiot. Ben Hope, seriously?? Also is it just me or am I imagining stuff cuz there was a vibe about Sahar and Imogen towards the end, so idkkk

And OMGGGG SEVEN IS SUCH A PERFECT SONG FOR TARA AND DARCY.

"I think your house is haunted

Your dad is always mad and that must be why

And i think you should come live with me

And we can be pirates

Then you won't have to cry

Or hide in the closet"

The 'haunted' part. The 'your dad(mom) is always mad' part. The 'come live with me' part. The 'you won't have to cry or hide in the closet' part. Like omg. A song can't get more perfect than that. I love them so much. Darcy deserves much better parents, and also a hug tbh.

And the part where Charlie told Nick about self-harming. I was sobbing so much.

One thing about the ending tho, I don't think Charlie's gonna send Nick that message, next season will probably start with Charlie gay panicking and searching up "how to tell someone i love you" and talking to himself and making up a scenario like in the book. Cuz I really want the "YOU TOLD ME ILY IN THE SHOWER" scene

Anywayy, that's all for my Heartstopper season 2 rant, i loved it SOOO MUCHHH that I could cry. (I did actually cry lolll)

#Heartstopper #Heartstopper season 2 #Heartstopper season 2 spoilers #Osemanverse #heartstopper spoilers #heartstopper s2 #Heartstopper on Netflix #spoilers

[tsintotwo]

(Part 3/4)

3rd post talking about Tom Sturridge in his projects (Earlier: Parts 1 and 2)

Being Julia (2004)- Movie about a stage diva and her midlife crisis + resolution (affair w/ younger man, disillusion, value of family). Tom plays Julia's 17y/o son. He is 100% a classic upper class Brit boy in this- all white shirts, sensible haircut, and blinding good looks. Small role, but he's pitch-perfect. This is one of his earliest works (edit: his first role as a grownup actor, actually!), but you can't tell at all from the movie. Also, our boy has just always had a very nice voice, huh.

A Waste of Shame (2004)- Who are Shakespeare's sonnets really about? This BBC tv movie was a fictionalized exploration of that. It is on youtube...in Spanish- which, even if the dubbing wouldn't have thrown me off, I don't speak anyway. But someone very kindly uploaded all of Tom's scenes and that's what I watched. Shakespeare wrote a bunch of gay poems about a 'fair youth'- W.H. We don't know who this really was irl, but in the movie W.H. is earl Will Herbert, played by Tom. Now, this is what Shakespeare wrote: "A woman’s face with nature’s own hand painted/Hast thou, the master-mistress of my passion..." So, clearly they needed someone really, really pretty for this role. Tom says bet. Wouldn't say he embodied the androgynous vibe, but a VERY fair youth indeed. AND charming. I could totally see The Bard writing 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?' about him. Not seeing the whole movie, I can't be sure, but it seemed like the guy playing Shakespeare (Rupert Graves)... didn't, uh, slay? I mean, Tom's switching it on (we all know what that's like) and his vibe is like 'meh'. We could have more chemistry (which was supposed to be the POINT). But, oh, well.

The Boat That Rocked/Pirate Radio (2009)- Man, a proper British comedy is such. a. DELIGHT!!! This movie made me laugh hysterically and lifted my heart in a way few things have recently. It's about a pirate(=unlicensed) radio station in the 60s that broadcast govt. unapproved content- from a boat. It has an ensemble cast, but Tom features pretty prominently- he's often the audience-POV character. Big names in the cast, and Tom was on par with every single one of them. Honestly, after a while I stopped seeing Tom and just saw 'Young Carl'- his character. And I loved Young Carl. Just- do yourself a favor and watch this movie, okay? (I wish Tom would do more comedies)

Effie Gray (2014)- About the (terrible) marriage of famous art critic John Ruskin and his wife Effie. Effie (Dakota Fanning) eventually falls in love with painter John Everett Millais- Tom in the movie. This movie... is a bit too straightforward imo, it could've been more nuanced (but then sometimes it's too subtle, to the point of making things vague). What I LOVED tho: loads of shots in this look like gorgeous old paintings. Anyway, about Tom: this is actually the movie where he felt most unlike Tom to me (well, except Sandman. I've racked up HOURS looking at this man at this point, and still when I see Morpheus, I just see Morpheus- non-human Dreamlord, not a human actor. Anyway). Tom as Everett looks different (handsome still ❤️) in period clothing and with a beard, but that's not it. He's... grounded in this. We see his quiet air of compassion and conflict, love blooming from kindness and sympathy. Zero sexy vibes, silent attraction, patience and respect. Just, so clean and pure *chef's kiss* (I will say tho, in usual Tom fashion we see every subtlest thing he feels on his face and eyes whereas Dakota is... blank a lot of times. Not the best performance from her.) The movie sort of has an open ending and I had to google this-but Effie and Everett irl ended up getting married, yay! (And had EIGHT children- all right babes!)

Skin (2019)- (Plot: What if Alexa was your grief counselor?) Tom's character is a wreck in this short film- he's gross, broken, and slowly killing himself. As the film requires, he's been shot very unflatteringly, and the camera is on him 100% of the time. So, at the end of the 11 minutes, when your heart is absolutely breaking for him, you know it's not because you were attracted to Tom, it's because he's just that good. Gosh, I watched this 3 times already. A little gem. (Watch here)

I think one more post and I can wrap this series up, 'cause all that's left is Tom's cameos, mostly. Then I might do a bonus ep with links to performances/interviews/fanvids that are worth looking at imo. We'll see. Till then.

#tom sturridge #dream of the endless #morpheus #sandman #the sandman #a waste of shame #shakespeare #effie gray #being julia #pirate radio #the boat that rocked #skin 2019 #john everett millais

[ritzcrackee]

fuck it every dimension 20 season ranked

1. a starstruck odyssey

... we all saw this coming. i don't even have anything to say that i haven't already sleep deprivedly rambled about to my friends. glittery space bitches go brrrrrr

2. the ravening war

AUOERGHHHHH the drama the violence the edge the politics the tragedy THE SHIPS!!!! truly just my favorite people (and matthew mercer i guess) playing my favorite character tropes. it's like they scanned my brain and generated a season based solely on what i would be the most autistic about.

3. misfits and magic

yippeeeee best friends and they like each other and are friends yayyyy

4. the seven

women <333 (but fr tho i just like watching teenage girls be messy and multifaceted)

5. a court of fey and flowers

look i just really like fae shit. fairy rainbow magic boys RISE UP 💪💪💪💪

6. a crown of candy

the little candy people are sad??? what the hell.... (no but this season started off SO STRONG!! would easily be my #1, but i feel like the latter half of the season dragged on and also felt rushed? idk still one of the top tier seasons)

7. fantasy high

i mean what can i say. a solid classic, bad kids live in my head RENT free, fig is my irl girlfriend, uhhhhh kissing them all forever.

8. mice and murder

love a good murder mystery <33. lars vandenchomp my BELOVED!!!

9. fantasy high sophomore year

sophomore year!!!! i feel like this season had some of the highest highs, but also a lot of the lowest lows. which is why it's in the middle of the list lol. the live format made it hard to follow a lot of the time, however, consider, i'm the crab king.

10. the unsleeping city: season 2

CODYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! between him, iga, and the spooky capitalism moment, i really liked this season. i just,,, haven't really thought about it much. did not stay in my head.

11. neverafter

love the characters, love the vibe, less spooky than i had hoped? but still, as always, a slay

12. the unsleeping city

you may be saying "why is s1 lower than s2" CODY! it's literally just him i just really like cody.

14. coffin run

VAMPIRES!!! AND IZZY AT THE TABLE!!! v good season, a little bit loud for me? but otherwise good job guys 11111/10

13. mentopolis

not much to say abt this season tbh

15. escape from the bloodkeep

i have never read [insert fantasy book here] so i didn't really get a lot of the inside jokes? idk i think i was not the target audience.

16. pirates of levithan

look the zoom format just absolutely kills this season :( i love literally everything else about it but all of the players are so BIG in a way that the format struggles to capture. honestly it was a hard watch for me but i'd love to see it revisited in the dome.

17. shriek week

look i'm all for a vibes only no plot session but a vibes only no plot season? i truly could not tell you a single thing that happened in this show. also not enough hot monsters and too many hot people who are vaguely monster adjacent. absolutely HILARIOUS tho, watch it for sure but just turn your brain off. ally fermentation jokes my beloved.

18. dungeons and drag queens

i'm homophobic ❤ (this is a joke i'm gay i just didn't find it very compelling bdjfk. i don't think i was the target audience)

19. tiny heist

i'm sorry the mcelroy brothers just don't do it for me. certainly one of the dimension 20 seasons 👍

#CAN #U #TELL #IM #AUTISTIC #BCUS #I #CANN #anyways haha hiii #reminder that this is the opinion of a funky lil guy and should not be taken as fact #AND and this is not a recommendation of what u should watch first!!!! #anyways kiss kiss #d20 #erp

[lacefuneral]

i need a 70k au fic where stede is a merman and he frequently spies on humans and collects trinkets a la the little mermaid

(long block of text of me ranting abt this below. i'm not going to write a full fic tho so if this inspires you, pls feel free to explore it and then tell me abt it. ok thanx)

in this universe, mermaids are regarded as being either a long-extinct species, or a myth altogether. the truth is that mermaids were hunted in droves for their pearl-tears, scales (jewelry), bones (tools), and meat. so mermaids learned to actively avoid humans to avoid detection while they slowly rebuilt their numbers. stede, ever the optimist, is convinced that Surely Not All Humans Are Like That, and We Probably Have Much In Common. as well as also regarding them as a sort of cryptid species. he knows humans are real, of course, but they are just as mythical to him as mermaids are to humans. so, despite being fundamentally against his culture, and being driven by the desire of exploration (and to escape the compulsory heterosexuality of his loveless, arranged marriage. but he does not know that he is gay yet)

stede is aware that humans are land-dwelling creatures that use ships as a means of transportation. and quickly learns from observation that some humans stay at sea longer than others as part of their vocation. as he cannot go on land, stede fantasizes about swimming along human ships. and of flooded compartments that he is able to "board" the ship through to look out of the portholes at the land (even though this is not possible). he wants to effectively be a sailor - help with navigation and scouting for seafood and danger (like submerged rocks that could cause a ship to sink). for the purpose of this AU, the crew is the same as the revenge crew in season 1. they were captained by a /different/ nobleman, who was killed, and ed took over the ship (and therefore the crew.) the ship /isn't/ the revenge. it's a different ship entirely.

while stede is swimming around, ironically, a wrecked ship, an incident occurs where ed is knocked off of his own ship during a storm stede finds him and takes him to shore (after an excruciating trek that involves him fighting the waves and holding ed's head above the water.) when he gets there he pushes him up onto a high rock, where the waves can't batter him.

stede is exhausted from the journey, so he returns to the water and finds a place nearby to rest. when the waves calm, he re-emerges to check on ed and make sure that he's safe.

when ed regains consciousness, he is fully convinced that he's hallucinating and that stede isn't real (despite the mermaid's insistence.) he stomps off and mutters something about hitting his head too on the rocks. naturally, his crew doesn't believe him either, and he assumes that he imagined the entire encounter. even though, with the circumstances, it would have been impossible for him to live. and there are mysterious claw marks on his arms (from stede's grip).

meanwhile, stede thinks that ed the most beautiful man he's ever seen (which he chalks up to "i think humans are interesting and this is the first one i've encountered up close like this") and is determined to meet him again.

the next evening he carefully spies around docks at the island that he dropped ed off on, but he doesn't see him. (ed pretty much immediately took off via dinghy and fast traveled to his ship, as per OFMD tradition. stede expected him to rest on land, unaware of ed's tenacity or the power struggles that occur on a pirate ship once a captain is assumed dead.)

stede mopes around the island for months, deciding that ed wasn't a sailor at all, but rather a Permanent Resident Of The Land. and that the ship he had been on was merely taking him to his home. stede had only expedited the process of his return. he keeps hoping that ed will find a reason to board a boat again.

instead, he's shocked to witness, one evening, ed EXITING a ship. he admires him from afar, and desperately wants to talk to him, but he finds that he's too nervous to do so. instead he waits for the ship to depart (after seeing ed reboard) and follows it around the carribean

ed spies him in the water several times, and begins to worry that he's hallucinating again. he doesn't tell the crew this time.

at one port, ed decides that he needs to take a break from the ship for a while to clear his head. seeing him alone on a beach, stede takes the opportunity to finally approach him. ed swears and shouts at him, telling him to fuck off.

hurt, stede drops the gift he brought for ed, leaving behind. the waves carry it to him anyway, and ed pockets an intricately carved shell.

stede spends the next several weeks living in ed's mind rent free, and he starts reading any book he can find on mermaids. most of them are complete and utter garbage, but he does manage to find a (mostly) accurate book that paints a picture of mermaid culture. there are illustrations in the book that resemble the item stede gave him - a token of diplomacy or friendship. he fusses with the shell frequently, like it's a worry stone. he begins having dreams about mermaids in general, and including a nightmare of the night he fell off of the ship. the morning, he realizes that he was drifting in and out of consciousness as stede carried him, and the sheer amount of effort that had to have been made to keep him alive. he feels absolutely horrible for yelling at stede.

unfortunately for ed, it is much harder for a human to track a mermaid than the other way around. but he has an idea. he begins carving small coins out of wood, and mimicking the design of the shell the best he can. he begins dropping them into the water periodically, leaving a breadcrumb trail for stede to follow.

some of these tokens end up in mermaid-populated areas, deeply confusing them, and causing debates as to whether or not humans (as an entire species) are aware of their presence. in which case, they would be in great danger and would need to migrate.

regardless, stede does find the tokens. and he begins to realize that they're a form of apology. he follows them until he comes across ed's ship. it's the middle of the night in calm waters, and he pops his head up. the smell of tobacco lets him know that he's not alone, and he very cautiously moves around the boat. eventually, he spies ed's pipe, and splashes the water to get his attention.

ed gestures back, but it's too dangerous for them to talk here. he does his best (with hand gestures) to communicate to stede to keep following, and to meet him the following night, when the ship is docked.

ed tells his crew that he's going to a brothel, and slips away to a secluded part of the island. making sure that he walks along the coast the entire way, allowing stede to follow him easier. when they finally make to the cove, ed apologizes profusely for his behavior. he explains that humans do not know that mermaids are real - that they do not remember them. he thanks stede for his selflessness. and he introduces himself not as blackbeard, infamous pirate, but as ed, a humble sailor. he doesn't want to startle stede by his trade - make stede assume that he's in danger of being sold for parts.

the entire time, stede's heart is beating out of his chest as he admires ed's face in the moonlight. (again, he assumes he's struck by seeing a human so close, rather than falling deeply in love)

stede eventually snaps out of it, introduces himself, and begins to ask questions about human society, easily trading facts with ed about his own society. when stede explains that what he is doing is essentially unheard of and that he'd rather actively put himself in danger than live a cushioned life back home, ed is flabbergasted. even moreso when stede reveals he has children.

"you gotta go back to them, man. it's a dangerous world out here. people are greedy, cut-throat."

in order to emphasize this, ed reveals that he's a pirate.

"months you've been looking for me - and you didn't even know! i'm a stranger. what if i'd wanted to hurt you? take your bones to get magical powers or whatever."

stede IS surprised by the pirate thing, but the bones comment disarms him and he snickers, insisting that mermaids do not have magical powers. besides, he says, ed seems too lovely to want to hurt him.

now it's time for ed to feel bashful. and he has to admit that stede is pretty beautiful... for a fish. has muscled arms and golden hair and kind eyes.

they make plans for future meetings. ed is very careful to schedule shore leave at different ports, different times of day, different frequencies, and different visit durations. he scouts land out ahead of time, trying to find places where it would be most comfortable for the two of them to talk. they exchange treasures with one another (ed's going into a secret trunk under his bed that has been chained to the floor and locked. stede's to various caches around the ocean floor that he gradually moves to a shipwreck that he calls his home.)

eventually, stede confesses that he wants to try and board ed's ship - meet his crew. he feels like a shameful secret. ed lashes out at him and essentially calls him an idiot - telling him that if other humans found out about him he'd surely end up getting killed and his entire species would too. he also doesn't understand why stede wants to talk to other humans. isn't ed enough? (forgetting, of course, that stede has exiled himself from his own society and is, therefore, entirely alone. ed is his only friend, and he doesn't get to see him very often. meanwhile, ed is constantly surrounded by people. stede is just a curiosity to him.)

stede stomps- er, flops - out. and returns to the sea without a goodbye. he doesn't show up to any of their next scheduled meetings. and soon, there are no meetings left. (why yes. he does go home at this time and realize he doesn't fit there anymore and finds out about doug. he doesn't fake his death this time around, though.)

heartbroken and upset, ed tells fang about mermaids. he shows him the history book, the treasures. he shows him the scars on his arm from determined claws. he explains how he tracked stede down. and he admits how devastated he feels without him around. he asks fang to help him modify the ship. to create a hatch at the bottom of the boat that can be opened. to tell the crew that it was for more easily deposing of bodies, and that's why it was so large. to form a ramp beside each stair ("so it's easier on my knees"). to place a huge ceramic tank on deck "to collect rain water during storms". and a bath large enough to accommodate two people ("because i fuckin deserve it.")

with the modifications made, ed is moping at the open hatch one day, looking into the ocean below. he watches various fish and turtles swim by. admires the coral. and then, suddenly, a face moves into view. both ed and stede shriek simultaneously, effectively jumpscared. after the shock wears off, ed places his hand in the water, indicating that there's no barrier between them

stede pops his head up and (badly) lies that he wasn't looking for him. they just happened to cross paths. ed insists that, while stede is there, he might as well hear him out. he explains the modifications done to the ship, and stede looks around him in wonder as it finally sinks in for him (lol) that he's in a FUNCTIONAL pirate ship right now. ed encourages him to climb up onto the floor (leaving the end of his tail in the water to remain moist), and then tells him that he's going to introduce him to fang.

the introduction goes well, and the two of them chatter for a long while. now that fang knows for certain that stede is real (and a decent person), he agrees to help ed explain stede to the rest of the crew, and try to incorporate him into ship life

the entire crew is fascinated by stede and gets along with him, except for izzy. for a lot of reasons. one, izzy is jealous that ed is spending time with him. two, izzy worries that stede could potentially be dangerous to them (in fact, he believes that stede is a siren, and he's actively trying to lure the crew to their deaths.) three, having a real live mermaid aboard is a great liability. if other pirates found out about stede, they would likely swarm the ship in an attempt to capture him. and four, izzy thinks that selling stede could be potentially lucrative for him.

izzy attempts to gain stede's trust (to learn details about him) and draft bargaining letters for various fences in the republic of pirates, but ed finds them in izzy's quarters. not wanting stede to be in danger, the entire crew votes for izzy to be executed (so as to not spread news of mermaid existence.) he is disposed of, ironically, through the hatch

stede navigates the ship in a modified wheelchair which allows him to go up and down the various ramps on the vessel. when he begins to dry out, he quickly freshens up at a washing basin, climbs into one of the two large tubs on board, or pours a bucket of water on himself (if he's outside on deck.) he spends most of his time onboard, but does occasionally go through the hatch to fully rest in the ocean, or when he's on scouting duty (collecting intel about other ships, seeking danger, looking for fish.)

during raids, stede is instructed to exit the ship entirely in the event of the ship being boarded.

and while he never had any expectation of this, he even gets to travel on land. he's only able to do so for very brief periods, but with a shirt on his torso, a blanket over his tail, a hat over his fin-like ears, and pair of gloves on each webbed hand, humans are yet to notice. anyone that sees his sharp teeth assume that they're a fake set (like buttons')

ed and stede are horribly smitten with each other, and it isn't long after stede's adapted to amphibious life that they start a relationship. stede audibly says "ohhhhhhhhh........... i get it now. i like men." after ed kisses him for the first time, something that makes both of them crack up.

they do fuck nasty!

and get married later on yay!

and eventually ed retires somewhere remote and has an amphibious home commissioned that literally has water running through the entire building (using ancient technology as a basis). like roman, turkish. and even a bed that allows ed to sleep dry and stede to sleep wet and a place for their hands to meet and hold while they sleep. smiles

um anyway ya this has been my gay fish story which is also a metaphor for physical disability and how accommodations can make your life better and they aren't bad. ed is literally disabled but didn't think to get ramps until he was doing it for someone else. and stede's constant need for water feels very chronic illness to me. like he needs a lot of meds, he needs to rest a lot, he needs a lot of tools to help him out.

anyway i know i rambled a lot here but i don't really. Do full stories. so if anyone thinks this is cool u can go ahead

#ofmd #blackbonnet #jay.rtf

[nokaru]

Red, yellow, green and 8 ball for the OC ask! Any OC(s) of your choosing <3

Meefy my beloved hello hiii ilysm thank u for the ask ^^ this is a LONG one bear with me here jsjsjs naturally AnS OCs!

🔴 Red- What is a trait your OC has that those around them don't see very often? Is it seen by a rare few or completely overlooked?

Zarr: his melancholy and nostalgia. He hypocritically preaches "what is dead is dead, past is past and dwelling on it will only bring you down" but he drags the dead weight of his past along with himself, his heavy heart grounds him in some sense but inevitably it is just what it is - a burden. He doesn't let anyone in besides very few privileged ones, so only one who's aware of his internal turmoil is his wife Rita. and maybe Butcher knows but does not talk about it.

Rita: her agresivity. She's not naturally an angry person, dare I say she's the calmest of them all actually but she has a tendency to bottle things up and she rarely flies off the handle ...so boy when she does get mad MAD heads start "falling off". Besides that, the actual hidden trait would be her two-facedness. She has an image of a good and approachable person about her but she wouldn't be the big boss of the underground assassination scene if she was all unicorns and rainbows.

🟡 Yellow- What is something your OC wants but knows they can never have? How does it feel to never get this specific desire?

Tsu: something something never shooting his shot with Zarr when he had the change when they were young something something buried first love something something always the right-hand man and close companion nothing more something something just being happy by your side something something gay 🫵

Emi: perhaps it's just in a poet's nature to long for something, to yearn for something more, anything beyond what you have now. Yes, she's the richest she's ever been. She has all the comforts that soothe her whims and needs. Yet she wants more and more. Maybe what she actually desires is the familiarity of her youth, the bad smell of a shady tavern, the sweet taste of her lover's lips- ANYWAY

🟢 Green- What is considered a weakness in your OC that is actually a strength? What is a strength in your character that can be twisted into a weakness?

Sister Fiona: some may say her weakness is her religiousness? ((I hc that the AnS universe runs on multiple gods type of system but even though, Fiona and the underground's main "religion" is pretty pagan. She's a nun/cleric of Somni, goddess of night travelers, thieves and whatnot.)) Even though Fiona does not act as a proper "nun" she has set values and doctrines she follows, which may restrict her sometimes. Lacking freedom and dedicating your life to a god (even tho the god is extremely well respected) can be seen as a weakness if not a burden in the eyes of the underworld. For Fiona her belief is her strength, ofc not as big big of a strength as her sword but still...Her dedication is what fuels her in life. Also being a nun of Somni means you are automatically respected and nobody picks a fight with you so yeah.

Roslyn: her independence is her strong suit. She wouldn't be a fearsome pirate captain without being as independent as her at such a young age. Naturally, too much independence turns into a hindrance. Distrust and loneliness are her two close friends.

🎱 8 Ball- What situation was your OC lucky to escape from or get out of? What or who helped them unexpectedly?

Nokaru: long story short - getting abandoned by Obi, being held and tortured by a rival clan for a few months was less that ideal for her development. She got out, by herself, with no help. She walked all the way back to her clan's headquarters like nothing happened. She's not lucky, she's just competent.

Emi AGAIN cause I love her: Emi's life is just a series of unfortunate events, from getting out of her overbearing, manipulative parton's estate to managing to "take care" of a corrupt almost-husband and his family's sick marriage plan Emi has seen it all when it comes to Tanbarun aristocracy. What helped her get out of all the misfortune in her life were her ambitions for riches and recognition. Also her very nice but very shady and scheming ex-boyfriend (Tom tommyboy 👈 Obi's older bro)

#HELLO CAN U TELL IM INSANE ABOUT THEM #thank u for the ask im kissinf you on the mouth #ans ocs #ask game #oc ask game #oc zarr #oc rita #oc tsu #oc emi #oc fiona #oc roslyn #FIRST ROSLYN PUBLIC APPEARANCE WOOHOO #oc nokaru #main tagging these cause im still insane #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #ans #U BETTER MAINTAG YOURS TOO MEEF

[navysealt4t]

HI JAZZY

SORRY for rambling in your notes i have BRAINROT and i will talk forever about it if presented the opportunity

also. where would you recommend starting for jrwi. because im Curious now

!!!!!! JUNPING UP AND DOWN FOR JOY AGACAVAHUSCSHS C !!!!!!!!!!

okokok soo there r a few different places u can start :33 there r like 4 campaigns that r easy to access.

there’s the main one Riptide!!! which is what i post about most :3 theres pirates and gay people and idk i’m really bad at summarizing things. but very much found family and a good mix of seriousness and silliness :] this playlist has all the episodes in order (108 episodes…. it’s very daunting. i stared watching at about 80 episodes i think?) it’s currently still going (and according to the dm, grizzly, about halfway through!)

the other on going camping is prime defenders !! idk anything about pd rlly, except that it’s like teenage/young adult superheroes? and i think it starts pretty lighthearted but gets way more serious. i barely know anything about this campaign tbh. i think there’s 5 episodes on the youtube and the rest is on patreon (there may be a totally approved playlist with the patreon episodes though. idk tho) this is the first episode tho !

then one of the two completed campaigns is APOTHEOSIS!!!!! i think apotheosis is tied with riptide for my fav campaign :] i think u might like apoth, idek know how to properly summarize it it’s so so good. like. godslaying, queer people, sex jokes, religion, angst, it’s amazing . i can’t pick a fav pc either it’s so so good. the first episode is on youtube and the rest (12 or 13 i think) are on patreon (i have a link to a totally approved and public playlist tho if u want it). it’s genuinely such a good campaign. i’m not an expert on it tho uhh if u wanna know more my good friend @/scrubbythebubble knows a lot about it :3

and last but not least BLOOD IN THE BAYOU!!!!!!!! ogh. i can’t even start this campaign is amazing. like horror? friendship? middle aged men? bugs? this is the campaign for u. charlie slimecicle is such a good dm. it’s a call of cthulu campaign but if u don’t know the mechanics they’re explained very well through the campaign . it’s genuinely so so good it’s given me the shivers so many times. the first episode is on youtube and the last 3 are on patreon. the last 3 episodes r audio only so i sadly don’t think there’s a totally approved playlist out there 😔 it’s rlly good tho just uh. quite a few content warnings

YEAH!!!! sorry this is so long and took so long i just love love jrwi. uhh if u plan on watching anything i would block the tags ‘jrwi spoilers’, ‘jrwilb’, and ‘[campaign name] spoilers’ if it’s pretty hard to stay unspoiled for like apoth and bitb, but i REALLY recommend going in with no spoilers bc shit just hits soo much harder :3 and jrwilb is the liveblogging tag !!

but yeah!!! councilblr/jrwiblr is (usually) very chill and we like to have fun and leave ominous messages for new ppl to freak about over :3 if u wanna know anything else feel free to dm or send an ask i loveeee talking about jrwi hehe

#!!!!!! sorry this is a lot i got rlly excited #asks #haunted ghouls #beloveds <3 #also sorry for any typos i was typing rlly fast and autocorrect hates me