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simp4wom3n · 3 months

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I'd Fall For You In Real Life Too

Requested: Yes/No ~ Hello, I have a request for Reneè Rapp. Reneè is an interview and is asked about her relationship with former co-star, Reader. (An aussie artist and actress) The two have been spotted by paparazzi and have been all over each other's instagram and tik tok together.

Pairing: Renee Rapp x Reader

Summary: Renee joins Drew Barrymore for NY92, where Renee's Australian girlfriend unknowingly becomes the centre of the conversation. ~ Word Count: 1.8k ~ Warnings: legit none

A/N: HI!! I am so obsessed with Renee atm, writing for her is EVERYTHING. Pls enjoy my lovelies! For those of you who get what I'm referencing in the title, I love you <3

The dim glow of ambient lighting cast a soft haze throughout the auditorium. Conversations hummed through the air as you made your way to your seat, a few rows back from the front, as the excitement in the room grew. In an attempt to blend in with the sea of eager spectators, you carefully adjusted Renee's cap, which you wore, pulling it low over your eyes.

Once settled in your seat, you couldn't help but fidget with a mixture of excitement and nervousness. As the minutes ticked away, you kept your head down, the brim of the cap casting a shadow over your features as you eagerly awaited your girlfriend to arrive on stage.

Renee had been looking forward to this night all week, eager to see and talk to Drew again, even if it was in front of a few hundred people. The two of you had met Drew on her show about a year ago when you were doing press together for The Sex Lifes of College Girls, in which you played Renee's on-screen girlfriend.

Unbeknownst to everyone else, you had actually become each other's off-screen girlfriends around 6 months ago when Renee invited you to collaborate on a song with her for her debut album, and your relationship grew from there.

You had been inseparable since.

Hence why you were currently sitting in the quietening crowd as the lights above you began to dim and the stage became illuminated with spotlights.

The crowd erupted with cheers as Renee and Drew walked onto the stage, waving enthusiastically and smiling infectiously at the audience as the applause echoed throughout the auditorium. You couldn't help but be in awe of your girlfriend as she gracefully walked across the stage. Your eyes scanned her gorgeous figure, causing a rush of warmth to flood your cheeks as she looked out into the audience, eagerly looking for you.

As her eyes met yours, her smile grew even wider when she noticed the hat you had on. With a playful wink and a finger pressed against your lips, a blush crept onto her cheeks as she giggled, shifting her focus back to Drew as she settled into her seat.

Once they had taken their seats and the cheers from the crowd began to fade, Drew gazed out at the audience with a wide grin, "I'm proud to say that Renee and I were texting this morning and that we both showed up in pinstripes.". Cheers filled your ears as you couldn't help but be captivated by Renee's infectious laughter and radiant smile, which always managed to make your heart skip a beat. "We did, and not planned either," she said with a joyful laugh.

"Thank you, everybody, for coming tonight. I heard the bar was packed, so I like that action. That just made me so happy. I'm like, that sets a tone, let's do this." Drew enthusiastically addressed the audience, yet your focus remained on Renee. The smile she wore filled you with familiar warmth, and you couldn't help but smile giddily just looking at her.

As the conversation between the two of them began to flow, covering deep yet incredibly entertaining topics, your attention remained undivided as you proudly listened and watched your girlfriend, admiring every tiny detail.

"So the show... I've read that you are going to come back for season 3 sporadically," Your ears perked up at the mention of the show. It had been a watershed moment for you and Renee alike in your professional and personal lives. Not only was the show itself a massive accomplishment for you, but the exposure you and Renee received from it helped propel your music careers to new heights.

"Yeah. It was obviously a tough decision to make." Renee spoke thoughtfully, her teeth lightly grazing her bottom lip. "The show has given me so much, but singing was always, like, my main goal in life, so." She continued as Drew nodded along understandably.

"I feel as though, if you have multiple talents, it becomes a challenge of, like, how do you fit them all in, how do you make them work cohesively, how do you go in certain directions," Drew spoke as you listened carefully, her words striking familiar chords as Renee nodded along.

"And I think that kind of idea and way of living is very reflective of you and also of your amazing Australian co-star Y/n, who is also a singer and someone who you actually collaborated with on your album." Your eyebrows immediately raised at the mention of your name. You noticed Renee glance at you briefly as Drew spoke, a slight smirk gracing her lips as she did so.

Renee flushed slightly as she returned her gaze to Drew, "Yeah, without a doubt. Y/n and I are very similar in how we function, which I think definitely contributes to why we get along so well and why we love being around each other so much." Her nose scrunched adorably as the audience awwed at her words, a familiar red spreading across your cheeks as you melted into your seat.

"So you won't mind me asking how you and Y/n's on-screen relationship is going to go? Because, oh my god, the chemistry!" The crowd laughed as Drew fell back into her chair, her mouth agape in faux shock. You laughed along as you watched Renee hide her face behind her hands.

"If anything, being in more scenes with her is going to be what I miss most." It was your turn to hide behind your hands as Renee spoke, her eyes briefly glancing towards you. She laughed giddily as the crowd once again awwed at her comments. "That being said, though, I am really excited to continue exploring it. I love Leighton and only want what's best for her."

"Well, I'd say they're perfect for each other!" Renee laughed and thanked her as the crowd cheered in agreement. It was always heartwarming to see how much people enjoyed your work, especially when it was with your girlfriend - and even more so when it was about the two of you being in a relationship.

"I also presume that the chemistry comes off so authentic because, from what I've seen at least, you guys spend so much time together off set." The audience erupted in laughter as memories of you and Renee flashed through your mind, a big smile spreading across your lips as you admired your girlfriend on stage.

Her adorable giggles fill the air as she raises the microphone to her lips. "We do, yeah," she manages to speak from her laughter. Once her giggles had calmed down, she continued. "I am madly in love with that woman." your cheeks glow red even in the dimly lit crowd as she talks, your breathing deepening as your eyes raked over the love of your life.

"We spend basically every day we can with each other, and if we're not together, we're either texting or calling. It's great." Her cheeks flush a deep scarlet, and her grin grows wider by the second as you watch her.

"The paparazzi are certainly loving it," Drew commented, her eyebrows raising slightly. "Yeah, they are," Renee replied, a wry smile playing on her lips. "How do you feel about that?" She had grown somewhat accustomed to the constant presence of the media with their flashing cameras and relentless pursuit, but she still didn't love it, to say the least.

"I'm not a big fan of how intrusive they are and how they, like, force the whole 'public relationship' thing on people," Renee confessed, her words laced with frustration. The never-ending attention and gossip surrounding her love life had proven to be the most difficult part of her experience in the public spotlight.

Your heart skipped a beat when Renee mentioned the public relationship. Although no one had initially caught on, you knew someone would put it together in a matter of seconds, and whilst that thought scared you, it also brought a giddy smile to your lips.

You watched as the revelation hung in the air, a brief silence falling over the crowd before one of the audience members screamed excitedly, followed by several others as the realisation swept through the crowd.

"Wait… Are you guys dating?!" Drew burst out happily, unable to control her excitement as she, too, realised what Renee had alluded to.

A fierce blush spread its way across Renee's cheeks as she quickly moved to cover her wide smile and red cheeks with her hands. The crowd roared with excitement as she began giggling uncontrollably. You smiled proudly as her eyes met yours, shyly nodding for her to continue.

"Yeah,"

Screams and cheers erupted from the audience as Drew bounced in her seat. "Oh my God! You're kidding! "Tell me everything." Renee continued to laugh briefly before it faded: "We've basically been together since we worked on my song together."

The revelation hit the crowd like a wave, and your heart raced amid the uproar. The secret you and Renee had kept hidden for months was now revealed on a public stage, and you felt a mix of excitement and nervousness in the pit of your stomach. The spotlight had shifted not only to Renee but also to the secret love story that, until now, had played out behind closed doors.

Drew's exclamation mirrored the audience's sentiments, but your attention was drawn to Renee at that point. She sat there, bathed in the light from the stage lights, her eyes sparkling with a mix of vulnerability and joy. Your heart swelled with pride as she openly shared your relationship with the world, and you couldn't help but admire her.

"That's amazing! Did you like her before that?" Drew inquired, her eagerness palpable, echoing the curiosity that resonated throughout the auditorium. You held your breath, waiting to hear Renee's response.

"Of course I did. I had like the biggest crush on her the second we met." Renee confessed, her words hanging in the air like a melody that resonated with the audience as they collectively awwed. "Plus, her accent is like the cutest thing you will ever hear."

Drew leant slightly forward, her gaze fixed on Renee. "Is she here tonight?" she inquired curiously. Renee's lips curled into a mysterious smile, the stage lights reflecting the contours of her features. "She might be," she said, a small laugh escaping her lips afterwards. Her affectionate gaze moved across the dimly lit room, briefly meeting your tender gaze. She smiled softly as she spoke.

"And, to my girlfriend, who may or may not be here tonight, I love you so much, baby."

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#renee rapp x reader #renee rapp imagine #renee rapp x you #renee rapp #regina george x reader #regina george #mean girls 2024 #simp4wom3n

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inklore · 11 months

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Legit can’t think of anything other then Miguel catching you trying to get off then edging you for the entire fucking night.

torment

— miguel o'hara x wife!reader

word count: 813

warnings: eighteen+ content, i haven't seen the movie yet so that's a warning i guess, unprotected p in v, multiple o's, over stimulation, dirty talk, quick bj mention, miguel is a pleasure dom don't argue with me, amorcito means sweetheart.

note: i hope you don't mind i took this idea and changed it a bit lovey because while yet i would love this, the idea of him handing out orgasms like little torture candies for his own pleasure of watching and feeling you do it drives me freaking nuts omg. i need him.

When Miguel presses two fingers onto your clit, the obscene noises that are coming from where the two of you are connected—where the squelch of your mixed fluids are composing a symphony of desire, where you're coating Miguel's cock entirely, where your thighs are slick and sticky with your own wetness—only intensify.

Your eyes rolling back, your teeth digging into your bottom lip, and your eyelids drooping in that pitiful way that makes him smile when you turn to face him.

Your current position has you perfectly spread for him as he spears you with his cock; in his lap, your back pressed to his chest, legs spread out on either side of his knees.

When he walked through the door hours ago, your overjoyed smile and blissful conversation quickly turned into smirks and moans molded against his mouth. His fingers doing the talking—the steady pull of your clothes from your body, the grip on your hips as he pulled you down on top of him on the nearest surface. His claws come out for half a second, digging into your hip to tug your hips forward and back against his hardness.

Letting you know his restraint was holding on by a thread.

“Miss me?” His lips moved along your neck. Your nod answered with a, “gonna show me how much?” which led to you on your knees between his legs with his cock pressed against your tongue and that scowl on his brows morphing into something pleasurable and demanding—demanding of more, to fuck your throat until you forgot how to breathe properly if your lungs weren’t trying to expand around him.

It hadn’t lasted nearly as long as you wished before he was easily pulling you from the floor and into his lap, maneuvering you into the position he wanted, his hand around your throat as he thrust up into you. Your nails digging into his arm at the tight stretch that burned through your lower half at his girth.

And before you could even think to continue the count—before your brain hadn’t become mush from the hammering of his hips and dirty words—you had come three times.

Or was it four?

Five?

It was hard to tell when Miguel gave you half a respite before his fingers were back on your clit and you were squirming in his lap, making his cock hit places inside of you that had you gasping for air and arching your back.

The sensitivity that felt like pleasurable pinpricks to the muscles of your inner thighs—and your fucked swollen walls—made your body go rigid against him. “I've been thinking about this for days,” his mouth sucks at your shoulder. The brush of his teeth makes you whimper, and the nick of one of his fangs makes your back bow. “Fucking you for hours. Making you come until you’re too swollen and sensitive to take me.”

His hips snap up in a hard thrust that has a sob pulling through your weak moans when it’s complemented with his fingers pinching your clit between them for half a second before he continues the same rhythmic pattern that has pulled so many orgasms from your pliant body—your overworked and overfucked body—for the last hour.

“Miguel,” your lungs try to catch the breath that he’s taking from you. By his cock, his fingers, his mouth, and teeth on the pressure points of your upper half that, as always, make you putty in his fingers for him to mold and shape into the perfect little wife waiting for him back at home to use, and take apart with his cock whenever it pleased him to do so.

The words you’re looking to say, to hopefully stop the torture he’s delivering to your swollen clit, catch on a harsh moan at the back of your throat. Miguel chuckles softly against your shoulder blade before pulling his mouth from your skin. The fingers leaving indents against your hip move to your jaw to bring your gaze back to him.

And all you can do is shake your head at the expectant arch of his brows.

If you could curse him for looking so good right now, you would. His heavy breathing, mixed with the growls and grunts he's been doing in your ear each time you're about to come, "that's it, that's it, you're gripping my cock s'good, amorcito," and the indent of his fingers on your thighs and throat when he needs to pull you back from that pleasurable delirium that has your eyes glazing over, are the only indications that he is as much a needy mess as you right now.

That animistic need in him completely taking over.

Miguel brings your mouths together, his tongue laces your taste buds with the taste that’s so distinctively his. “Being away from you is torture. I want you to understand how that feels.”

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o'hara fic #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara fanfiction #thots !

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gegewrites · 16 days

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Harvey (SDV)- One Glass Was all it Took (SMUT)

Hi, just dropping off this fanfic for you. Eat it up. hope yall enjoy I started this legit at 10am TODAY. This is the fastest I’ve written in a bit and the first fic I’ve finished in months (I’m so sorry)

The Harvey brain rot is real.

4-7-24

5.2k words

Your pov-

The sun was setting and I was relaxing on the porch swing, looking at the sky changing colors. It was a relaxing day, it rained in the morning, which made it easy to pet and collect from the animals, but annoying to harvest the crops that were ready. It stopping raining at about four, and by then I was already done for the day. I contemplated going fishing or heading to the mines for a few hours to make up some of that wasted time but I ended up just cleaning and re-arranging some of the house. The birds were singing, still warm out but a cool breeze drifted through the trees. It was perfect out.

"Enjoying the sunset?" I heard Harvey ask, I looked over and he was by the produce bin. I wasn't expecting him at all.

"Yeah, so pretty tonight." I smiled. He didn't come up into the porch, he leaned against the railing in front of me, a bottle of wine in hand being held out to me.

"I had to go to Zuzu City today, I picked this up on my way out. Think you'll enjoy it." He smiled as I leaned off the swing and grabbed it from him.

"This is my job." I giggled. It's a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, the label boasting a 10 year age and top quality French grapes.

"Just a little bit of payback for all the stuff you've brought me." He smiled,"I-"

"Should I get glasses?" I asked,"you don't have to leave so soon do you?"

"I can stay for a bit." He leaned off the railing as I stood up.

"Perfect, come in."

Half and hour later-

"…Just a bunch of city and small town doctors and donors looking to shell out money. If I was convincing enough hopefully a few donors will step up and donate some money to the clinic.” He took a sip from his glass and looked at me,” It's a decent drive to the city, i don’t mind it. I use to intern at the Zuzu hospital, but when I heard they didn't have a doctor in this town, that the other towns also driving to the city for healthcare, I settled in." His eyes looked away from the now dusky blue sky and looked at him, which were watching him intently," why are you here? Besides your grandfathers passing, I don’t think you’ve told me.”

"I wasn't doing so well back home...so when we did get the news grandpa died my parents saw it as a way for me to get a new fresh start...and it worked, but boring I'll be honest. Three years, everyday almost the same." I shrugged my shoulders and finished the last of my glass. We both were only on the first glass, talking more than drinking.

"I get that. In a town so small it's easy to fall into a repetition...only reason why I've kept my car. I could sell it, put that money into the clinic, but when people in the outside towns needs assistance and they can't get here I get to switch it up and go to them." He looked down at his glass and then back to me,"it's important to find joy in daily life, especially when you're life is a lot of physical work....its also important to find the time to relax."

"Yeah, but there's always something that has to get done over here or someone needs something." His hand came down and sat just above my knee.

"You need to start making time for yourself." His face was serious, but not scolding. His brows lightly furrowed together, but his eyes held a caring look.

"Doctors orders?" I smiled, a chuckle trailing behind the words and I felt my cheeks flush. Luckily it was darker out but the porch light was still on.

"Doctors orders." He smiled, his eye contact was held with mine. He did look like he was contemplating something, his eyes slightly looking down below mine before locking back with mine.

Usually it would take me a third glass to get the confidence to make any sort of move, but over the few years I've been here, the conversations we've had, professional settings and non professional, it gave me the confidence.

The swing wasn't big, our legs were comfortably touching, and his hand still sat on my leg. I pushed up just a bit, my lips connecting to his, my heart was pounding out of my chest, but he returned it quickly, the hand on my thigh came to my check and my heart rate relaxed a bit. His mustache tickled my nose but I didn't mind it at all. We both tasted like wine and I heard his glass tink against the table in his side, his newly free hand softly held my other cheek, mine still holding my glass. He was the first to pull away from the slow kiss.

"(y/n)..." he whispered before pulling back more and my heart sped up, awaiting rejection,"are you sure about this?"

"I've never been more sure of anything, Harvey." I replied quickly but not forcefully, he took the glass from my hand and placed it with his on the table behind him.

I could tell he was thinking, quickly contemplating the decisions he could make. He turned back to me, pushing his glasses further onto the bridge of his nose.

"I'm a thirty four year old doctor stuck in place." His thumb brushed my cheek as he spoke.

"And im a twenty five year old who couldn't hold down a job long enough to have a chance to be stable." I confessed,"my last relationship ended with cops and a restraining order."

"I'm sorry to hear that. But (y/n), you said you're bored, you're bored here... I watch the history channel and live quietly."

"You don't get it, Harv. I'm bored cause I'm alone, everyday I wake up and it's just me, you're stuck in place cause it's just you. Don't humans need others around? We are social animals." He let out a quiet and sharp exhale from him nose, hand still in my cheek that didn't even realize I've relaxed into.

"There are others-"

"Please Harvey, I've already tried, they've all got their own dreams in places I've already tried to live and couldn't....i want quiet but I don't wanna be alone." His hand slid away from my cheek, just to hold onto my chin,"there's no reason to not try."

"You have to understand that I'm still your doctor and if it doesn't work-"

"If it doesn't work my ass Harvey." I grabbed lightly onto his other wrist,"I've never been more sure of anything.."I leaned forwards,"and you haven't been only charging me half for no reason, don't think I haven't noticed. You can say you're not the right one but it's obvious Harv-"

He cut me off with his lips, his hand coming to my waste, pulling my body a bit closer to his. I kissed him back quickly not wasting any time, my body was twisted a bit, my hands held onto his jacket covered shoulders. Our lips moved in sync, tongues tangling with each other, heat and want radiating from the both of us.

My hand grabbed onto his tie as I slid off the swing and stood up, our lips didn't disconnect, his big hands sat on my waist as he sat up higher before standing. He was taller than me, so he was bowed down to keep the kiss going and my back pressed against the railing of the porch. He pulled away, and stood up straight, looking down at me. His hand left my waist and he pushed his glasses back up. God he was handsome.

I decided to ditch the glasses that were on the table and lead him inside by his tie.

When we got to my bedroom he took off his jacket and I loosened his tie before I started undoing his belt while he kicked off his shoes. His hands coming to the bottom of my shirt, slipping it off of my body, dropping it to the floor as he walked me back, the back of my legs feeling the mattress and he unclipped my bra. My thighs pressed together a bit, feeling that pulse between my legs and myself getting wetter. He slid it down my arms and I sat down, his hands running down my body as he slowly got down onto his knees.

"This bruise is concerning." He ran his thumb on the right side of my ribs and I rolled my eyes.

"I can't even feel it Harv." I rolled my eyes with a smile and cupped his cheek, his cheek and jaw was a bit tickly. He placed a kiss to the top of my chest, kissing my collarbones and then down between my breasts,"if you want to know it's from my goat getting too excited and accidentally butting me."

"I'm glad.." his hand cupped my breast, fingers massaging it, my nipple pressed into his palm as he placed a kiss on my other. My hand sat on the back of his neck, my nails lightly scratching his scalp, his shaggy hair between my fingers," it's nothing serious…but goats are pretty strong,” he looked up at me,”could’ve broken a rib.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as his lips returned to my breast. I propped up on my left arm, his tongue swirled around my nipple, teeth teasing it lightly and I grinded down to on the mattress from the pressure of need building up inside of me. While he places kisses to my breasts his hands came down and undid the button of my jeans, and unzipped them. He pushed up slightly placing a kiss on my sternum and I laid back on my forearm. He hooked his fingers into my jeans, I raised my hips a bit and he pulled them down slowly, my panties going with them. His eyes locked with mine, until the fabric fell to the floor, and now I was naked with him between my legs.

Both of us paused. Suddenly I wish I had drank another glass. His eyes trailed down my body, taking it in.

“Harvey?” I asked, and he looked up at me, his look alone told me I was the one feeling off.

“Sorry…taking it in now.” He pushed my thighs out, spreading my legs wider, and he grew taller, kneeling only on one knee now,”once these glasses come off I can’t exactly see you the best.”

I felt my face blush as his hand ran along the inside of my thigh, and my pussy tighten from his touch. It’s been awhile, a good four years since I’ve been with something other than a vibrator. I felt his thumb slide up my lips, feeling how wet I’ve gotten, then his thumb slipped between and immediately found my clit. My lips parted the moment his thumb pad touched my clit, he slowly and softly dragged his thumb in a circle against it and my head lulled back a bit and I let out a sigh. He trailed a few kisses on the inside of my thigh, mustache tickling and dragging against my skin. His thumb worked a bit faster and my thighs quivered a few times.

“Harvey please.” I pushed out with a breath and I heard him hum lightly. His thumb left my clit and I felt his middle finger circle my wet hole before dipping in causing a moan to rumble in my throat as I bit my lip. His fingers were nice, he had nice hands at that. His fingers were long kind of thick, but nimble none the less. He curled his finger to the curve of my walls as he slowly dragged it in and out. I didn’t realize where he was till I felt the left side of the bed dip a bit.

“Absolutely soaked.” He whispered into my ear and a shiver ran down my spine and I tightened around his finger,”you haven’t had anything in a while, huh?”

“Too busy..mm, too tired at the end of the day.” I answered, feeling him kiss my neck, his stubble scratching lightly at my skin.

He kissed my shoulder with a hum, his middle finger leaving me, but coming back with his ring finger in tow. His fingers slipped right back in, my head couldn’t help my fall back, the front of my neck completely bared to him. He curled his fingers to my anatomy again and he sped up the slightest. I could feel how wet I was, it was almost embarrassing, but come on…it’s Harvey.

My hips rolled into his palm and his fingers found my gspot, I bit down onto my lips, my eyes fell close.

“Right theere.” I moaned, and he changed his fingers positions, a deeper curl. I heard something light fall onto the bed and my eyes opened the littlest. I saw his glasses. I raised my head, timing perfectly with him lifting my left leg onto his shoulder. His stubble rubbing against the inside of my thigh, before feeling his tongue against my clit, he kept a steady pace and motion with his fingers. His tongue slowly lapped at my clit,my hand finding the top of his hair, not tugging but sitting in it, holding it out of his face. I was breathing heavy, breathy moans just slipping out. His lips latched on to clit, a mix of licking and sucking, making my body tense and my moans grow louder.

“Oh God.” I moaned out, my heel digging into his back just below his shoulder blade,”Fuuuck Harv.”

He pushed up onto the bed, his left arm wrapped around the front of my thigh, holding the inside of it with his hand and he pumped his fingers deeper and faster. I heard a groan erupt from him as his tongue dipped in with his fingers before sliding back to my clit, giving it a harsh suck. My hands gripped into his hair, my body pushing into his. My head felt light, my thigh tensing in his grip, being held open to avoid squeezing his head. The way he was circling, sucking, and licking my clit roughly paired with his fingers “come hither” and just how deep his fingers were inside of me I was on the verge of cumming. I could feel my slick dripping down my ass, definitely soaked in the comforter, my walls tightened around his fingers. My moans were more present, louder, and longer. My body felt like it was on fire in the best way possible.

“I’m gonna cum Harv.” I whined out, releasing his hair for a second before griping back on. My thighs started twitching and the upper half of my body curling forwards yet my head lulling back,”I’m gon-gonna cum baby.”

He didn’t change was he was doing, and my toes curled, my eyes rolling back, my teeth digging into my bottom lip as my body tightened. that knot in my abdomen snapping, cumming on his fingers. We kept his pace steady as I rode out my release, only slowing down when I started whimpering and hips near spasming into his face.

I fell onto my back, as his fingers slid out of my pussy, his tongue lapping up my release. His hand left the inside of my thigh, and I heard his glasses drag towards him, before wrapping around it again. He placed a kiss to the inside of my thigh, his mustache wet. I was catching my breath, coming back to reality when my thigh dropped from his shoulder and I felt his thumb swipe across my bottom lip. I opened them and his finger laid on my tongue, I closed my lips around them, cleaning my cum off of them.

I opened my eyes when he slid his fingers out of my mouth. He was standing in front of the bed, looking down at my pussy, the bulge in his dark brown corduroys prominent. I sat up, and pulled him to me by his tie, kissing him heatedly, tasting myself on his tongue. My fingers started undoing the buttons of his shirt, tugging it out of jeans and pulling away from him, a light bite dragging his lip before letting go. His lips were pink, so was his face. He undid his tie enough to get it off over his head and took off his long sleeve as I placed kisses down his stomach, slowly unzipping his pants.

He wasn’t a “fit” man, he had a dad bod but no kids(not yet), but he was attractive and sexy as hell nonetheless. He brushed the hair out of my face as I kissed down his happy trail. I slid down to my knees and he took a step back. I looked up at him through my lashes as I hooked my fingers into the waist on his pants and boxer band, and slid them down. His cock sprung out and I stopped pulling down his pants. He was decent size, long enough to where he wouldn’t be able to get all of it in but most, but he was thick. It made sense for a man as meaty as he is.

I kissed up his thigh, which had impeccable grinding quality. His fingers carded through my hair, my hands sat on his hips as I kissed up his body till I was standing, a bit wobbly, but his hand came around to my back.

“I wanna ride you.” I kissed his chest and he chuckled, his hand sat on the side of my neck and lower part of my jaw, his thumb brushed over my jaw, before he angled my face to look up at him.

“You can, but you have to go easy.” I gave him a pouty furrowed brow look and he smirked with fondness,”you haven’t had sex in awhile. Feeling how tight you were-and just with fingers, you have to take it easy.”

“You saying I’m too small for your cock, Doctor?” I whispered intimately and I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tippy toes, my chest pressing into his, his cock pressed against the front of my thigh. His face flushed even more as his hands held onto my waist. My hand came around to the back of his head and I pulled his head closer to mine and I whispered,”guess it’s a good thing I’m absolutely soaked for you.”

He let out a breath I don’t think he realized he was holding in and I lowered down onto my soles. He hasn’t gotten a moment to speak, this pussy has his tongue caught. My fingers dragging against his skin as I backed up and crawled onto the bed. I propped up onto my arms, facing him, and spread my legs open, my heels stable on the edge of the bed.

“Do you wanna be the one to stretch this pussy then?” It looked like his brain stopped working for a second, before has hand gripped onto his cock, his tongue quickly swiping along the bottom of his top lip and he smirked lightly, more adoration then the lust his eyes held.

“I probably shouldn’t, no condoms.” He crossed his arms, oh he looked good.

“What did you go into the city and fuck a stripper?” I joked and he shook his head with a chuckle.

“We’re unprotected.” His hands moved to his waist and I looked at him with a dumbfounded look.

“Harvey…you’re the dude who gives me my birth control every month.” He rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses.

“I’m aware of that, It’s still unsafe nonetheless.” His hands sat on my knees before grabbing the back of my calves.

“Live a little, just for tonight.” His grip tightened on my calves and he looked to the side and then back to me before pulling me edge of the bed, I fell onto my back as he held my calfs on his waist, his cock sitting right over my soaking cunt. His head tapping against it as it bounced lightly.

“For tonight.” His hand let go of my calf and I held it against his waist. His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose and his caressed my cheek, him thumb brushed against the cheek bone. He used that same hand to drag the head of his cock between my slick lips, running it against my clit, then rubbing his tip against my needy hole, he watched his cock slide between my lips before he looked up at me.

“Need a pillow.” I quickly grabbed the fluffiest one from behind me and handed it to him. I tightens my legs around him but he peeled them off,”where’s your bathroom?”

“Why?” I asked sitting up.

“Just need a towel.” I just fell in love with him. Luckily there was a bathroom in my bedroom so I pointed to the door and he walked over. Man has a nice ass, he is just good looking in general.

He came back with one of my thick towels, dark grey. He folded it into two and put it over the towel. I laid back down, holding my knees close to my chest and he grabbed my calf’s, spreading my legs and placing my lower half onto the pillow.

“That’s better.” His hands guided my legs around his waist, spitting into his palm and stroking his cock. I swallowed and bit down onto my lower lip as he stroked his cock through my lips. He was right, this angle felt better. His tip circled my entrance and he looked at me,”you ready?”

“Mmhmm.” I nodded and he paused for a moment before he started pushing the tip in. I immediately gripped onto the mattress below me my eyes squeezing shut, he was so right. He always right.

“I think I-“ he stopped pushing in mid tip.

“No no, just keep going…Fuck Harv.”

“Just tell me if it hurts, I’ll go easy.” He started pushing it in again. My walls stretching around him yet clamping down on him. It was a mix of absolute pleasure and pain. A deep throaty grain erupted out of his chest, I opened my eyes to see his head tilted back before coming back to look down at his cock stretching into me. I when he bottomed he pressed deeper into me and pushed out a shakey moan from my lips.

He stopped for a moment, giving my body a chance to relax around him, his hand ran up and down my thigh comfortingly as I breathed in and out, my brows twisted together.

“Move, please” I said softly and he did just that, he slowly slid his cock out of me, even his tip, and slid it back inside. Another moan left my left, my lips stayed open as he pushed in deeper this time, pulling out to his tip and pushing back in. He kept it slow and steady, listening to the whines and groans that fell from my lips.

“Shit (y/n).” He groaned out, I felt his thumb press against my clit, rubbing tight and slow circle against it, my legs tightening around his waist. He moved his hips a bit faster, his cock dragging against my walls. His thumb abandoned my clit, and his hands grabbed onto my hips, holding them tightly, fingertips pressing deeply into my ass.

“Fuck me Harvey.” I breathed out.

“How do you want it, darling?” I pressed my lips together and a small giggle sounded in my throat from the pet name that fell from his lips, I felt my body curl a bit as his hand touched my check. His tone was as smooth as whiskey dripping with lust,”tell me how you want me to fuck you.”

“Faster…” I swallowed and took a breath, my voice a bit shakey,”and deeper.”

His movements did become a bit faster, still focused on not hurting me, but he did pressed his cock deeper into me on each thrust.

“Good good.” My lips fell open as he started thrusting harder, his tip starting to hit that spot in me,”oooh yess.”

“found it?”

“Uuhuh.” I moaned, and he thrusted his tip against it again, but harder, to confirm and it was confirmed with an unsolicited moan.

“You’re taking me so well, (y/n). So daaamn good.” He groaned, his thrusts stayed sharp and even but he sped up more, rocking his hips into my pelvis. I tightened around him getting lost in the feeling of his tip sliding through my walls, the sound of his skin now slapping against mine, and the way groans and light moans fell from his lips. My heels dug into his back and his name trailed out of my lips. I felt my slick drip down my ass and into the towel, hearing how wet his motions sound now. I felt his body lean forwards, his thrusts kept steady, but slowed down a bit, fucking deeply into me, his cock grinding perfectly against my g-spot now.

“Oooh! Har-Harvey!” I loudly moaned out, it didn’t hurt, well a little bit, but it felt too good to complain. He was tall so his forearms laid flat on the bed trapping my head. He placed a kiss on my forehead, my hands wrapping around his back and gripping onto his shoulders. I couldn’t help but moan Into his ear, erotic moans falling from my lips as my pussy got wetter.

“Such a good girl. Taking my cock like this.” He strained out, my nails were digging into his skin as he sped up more. My eyes clamped shut, sob like moans ripping out of my throat, that heat building up in my lower abdomen telling me I was the verge of spilling over.

“Ha-Harvey,” I breathed out, my words whined ,”I’m gon-I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum on my cock, darling.” He groaned into my ear. His breath was hot against my skin, and the erotic groans falling from his lips were a perfect music to my ears. My left hand slid off his back, and I felt his weight shift, and I peeled my eyes open. He didn’t have his glasses on, and he was propped up on left arm, his right hand went back to my pussy, his hand pressed down on my pelvis, his thumb rubbing my clit quickly.

“Harvey! Aaaah fuuuuck!” My back arched up and a moan tore out of me, as my orgasm ripped through me. I saw starbursts behind my closed eyes, a rush of heat covering my whole body as it tensed up. My walls clamped around him as my right hands nails scraping against his back and he let out a strained groan.

“That’s it…That’s it.” He cooed, and I felt

His cock twitch inside of me as he fucked me through my high.

He kept his pace as steady as he could, going back to standing, his thumb abandoned my clit. I looked at him with heavy lids, watching his face,his glasses were back on, his lips were parted and his eyes watched his cock thrust in and out of me , and how his hands gripped onto my thighs.

“Come on Harv.” My tone tripped with ecstasy, as I propped up on my arms a bit to watch him and his body better, his eyes met mine, half lidded, before looking down, watching the way my chest moved from his thrusts,”cum for me Harvey.”

I felt his cock twitch more inside of me, his thrust still felt good and I couldn’t help but moan.

“Fuck.” He groaned out, his neck straining, his body tightening, and I bit my lip at the sight of him on the verge of coming undone, but there was something holding him back, himself really.

“You-you can cum inside of me Harv..” I breathed out and swallowed and he locked his eyes with mine,”you can cum wherever.”

I relaxed my legs grip on his waist, and with those words he finally came undone. He slid out of me quickly, his hand stroking his cock roughly, spirting white cum onto my stomach. His head lulled back as he stroked his cock, slowing it down that last bit dripped down the bottom of his head and onto my stomach.

He breathed heavily as my legs fell from his waist and he sat down in the edge of the bed and fell into his back next to me. I closed my legs and r looked up and over at him, hand on his chest, catching his breath. I kissed his shoulder and he looked over at me, a blissed out look on his face and I smiled.

“You got game Harv.” I giggled and looked down at my stomach, and he sat up.

“I’ll get you cleaned up.” He leaned to me and placed a kiss on my lips before standing up, and proceeded to do just that.

The next day, noon

Harvey slept over last night, but when I woke up at six he was already gone, there was a note on the kitchen table in his hand writing that advised me to hydrate and thanking me for the good night. The wine glasses that were left outside were clean and on the drying rack as well. I had already gotten what I had to get done outside done, but it was another rainy day, absolutely down pouring. I had to change my clothes even though I had on my rain jacket, so I decided today would be a day that I would take to myself.

I was laying in the couch reading, some cable show playing on the tv. My reading was interrupted by a knock on the door, so I placed my marker in the book and got up quickly and headed to the door. I unlocked it and opened it.

“Hi.” Harvey smiled, one hand held a soaked umbrella, his other was behind his back.

“That umbrella didn’t do you too well.” I giggled, seeing the rain spots on his button up, he looked at his shirt and chuckled.

“I guess not, at least I’m not soaked though…I’m sorry I walked out early, there was a shipment coming to the clinic at six thirty I had to be there for.” He explained.

“That’s alright, thanks for cleaning the glasses.” I wasn’t in front of the doorway he could walk in but he hasn’t,”what do you need Harv?”

“I…I wanted to give you this.” The hand that was behind his back came out and revealed a gorgeous bouquet. My lips fell over in shock and soon those like formed the biggest smile. My cheeks flushed as I took it from him, I looked at it for a few seconds before looking back at him,”you’re right…maybe this could work.”

#gegewrites #fanfiction #smut writer #stardew valley #sdv harvey #stardew harvey #Harvey sdv smut #harvey sdv x reader #sdv smut #sdv fanfic #stardew valley smut #stardew valley Harvey #smut

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1800-lemonadeg1rl · 18 days

Text

Jealousy

Wanda Maximoff x reader ☆

Summary - pretty much is what it says on the tin. After you try to avoid your crush you find jealousy eating at you.

Warnings: stupid, possibly cringe, maybe a little angst? Idrk, happy ending, jealousy, gay,

A/n: this is the first fic I've written since I was thirteen and I did it just to avoid being involved with my parents fight. Also my grammar probably isn't that great bc I haven't slept in 2 days so pls comment any corrections. Any feedback is so so appreciated

You didn't know when it had started. How even. But you had somehow become infatuated with fellow avenger and best friend Wanda maximoff. To put it simply you had a crush on her, a stupid schoolgirl crush that was beginning to crash down on your friendship with her.

It was small things at first, avoiding eye contact so you wouldn't blush under her gaze or not sitting next to her at meals. Next it was finding reasons not to hang out alone.

Little to your knowledge Wanda had noticed all these things and had begun to wonder if she'd upset you in someway that maybe you didn't like her the way she'd always admired you. She tried to approach you to go out for lunch to try and apologise for whatever she thought you were upset about but before she'd had chance to speak you'd scurried off saying something about needing to train.

And so life went on for Wanda as heartbroken she was that you seemed to want to distance the close friendship youd shared that she'd once thought could be more she didn't want to spend forever alone and crushed.

Thats when your jealousy started.

"Yeah the date actually went really well last night." You'd heard the sweet sokovian accent ring out across the kitchen as you'd shuffled into get your breakfast. Still half asleep you mumbled as you poured a coffee.

"You've got a date?" It came out a little more territorial than you'd intended. Despite your small efforts to dissipate your crush on the woman you were still annoyed at whoever thought they could date the girl you liked, that you should be with.

Not that you were looking at her but Wandas face seemed to light up when you initiated a conversation with her. After weeks of dead silence she'd want nothing more than to hear your voice which she'd describe as honey like and melodic to the ears.

"Yes, yes I am. A second one actually." You could feel your face redden slightly and twitch in annoyance at the words that left Wanda's lips. A second?! Not only had she had one date with someone else it had gone so well they wanted a second.

"You shouldn't go out with them." The words leave your lips quicker than you can stop them. And you look to see Wanda's face, her mouth open wide as her bottom lip twitched slightly.

Shit. You'd upset her. You'd upset the girl you loved. "I... I.. I mean.." You stammered through your sentence trying to find an exscuse for what you'd said. "I just mean.. your an avenger you should do a background check on them first and.. uh.. make sure you know they're legit and not a spy or something." After saying that you quickly fled the kitchen leaving your full cup of coffee much to the confusion of Wanda who'd had just about enough of the way you were acting.

That evening you were in your room catching up on a drama you'd originally started with Wanda but since you'd decided youd ruined your friendship beyond recovery you wanted to finish it yourself.

Then came a small delicate knock on the door. That was how Wanda knocked. Oh god you recognised how she knocked now, how would you ever get over her?

"I'm working go awa-.." You tried to get out quickly at the door as you rapidly turned the tv down and hoped she'd leave you alone.

Before you were even done your sentence she'd interuppted and responded. "Don't say another word. I can hear killing eve (srry I can't think of another tv show) playing in there. Let me in so we can talk."

You waited a beat thinking about the small list options you had right now to avoid the confrontation at your door, none of which would work or were very smart and would probably be more embarrassing than admitting the truth. So reluctantly you let her in. Twisting the handle slowly giving her all the time she needed to change her mind and leave.

Unfortunately that didn't happen and instead she waited patiently before heading over to your bed a flopping down on it in the ever so casual way she used to. As if no time has passed.

"Okay speak. Tell me whats wrong? What did I do to you?" She asks looking up at you with what looks like anger? No, no it was hurt. Everything from her wide watery eyes to her sweaty palms read that she was hurt and was nervous to why you'd been avoiding her.

"Its not you." Was all you could manage to spit out in the moment. Why had you even avoided her so much when all it had done was harm your best friend.

"Okay so what is it?"

She was relentless, she wasn't going to leave until you explained yourself and your recent actions. Being honest you couldn't blame her if it was the other way round you'd want to know.

"I..." You stare at her gorgeous face eyes flicking between her plump lips and her soft, glimmering eyes even in this moment struggling to make eye contact with her without a blush spreading across your cheeks. "I like you.. as like more than friends."

You watched on as her face contorted. The way she bit the inside of her cheek and her soft eyes hardening in time with your admittal. The hurt was long gone and replaced with an annoyance that you had blanked her instead of admitting your feelings but also a small glimmer of hope that it wasn't too late for you two.

"So what? You didn't think to tell me." She gets up from the bed. "Your rational descion was to ignore me in hopes of what?!" She was pacing now. "In hopes of what?" She repeats and suddenly your also stood up trying to open your mouth to speak but she won't give you the time. "In hopes I'd dissappear or your feelings would and we could just be friends again?"

Meekly you nodded. You had ignored her to try and make your feelings go away.

"Did you not think about me? Maybe I wanted you to have feelings for me. Maybe I want to be with you." She was speaking again and nearing you with each word.

"I.. didn't think you liked me like that.. I thought that you'd hate me."you try and explain my poor actions. "Look I'm really sorry.. I didn't know you felt like this about me."

You grab her arm forcing her to stop angrily pacing around the room and to talk to you again hoping it would calm her slightly. "..please I am. I'm really sorry Wanda.. I've missed speaking to you so much, I've missed you so much." Your further apologies seem to lessen her anger as she realises what you had done was unintentional and you'd never meant to cause this.

"You can make it up to me then."

"How?" She was offering to forgive you and that was enough. You'd do anything to stop her being angry with you ever again.

"Take me on a date."

A/n - I can write a pt 2 or follow up if anyone is interested <33

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #marvel #wanda x you #wanda fluff #wanda #wanda maximoff fluff #idk how to tag this #wanda x fem!reader #wanda maxmoff x y/n #wanda maximommy #wanda maximoff x female reader #lemonade writes☆•

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huggybearluvr · 6 months

Text

milestones | tz11

pairing:trevor zegras x drysdale!reader

summary: You and Trevor have been dating for almost 6 months now and have mostly been in the honey moon phase of your relationship. You have yet to get into any fights... until you go out to the bar with the team after their first win of the season.

Masterlist

You were stood beside trevor at the bar happily celebrating with the team. He was focused on his conversation with John Gibson. You tapped his shoulder to which he brushed you off with his hand.

You huffed walking to the bar to get yourself another drink. You then stayed there for a bit, not long after a large bearded man came over to you, "Hello there darling."

You simply waved to be nice before getting up to head back to the group. The man was quicker though, grabbing your arm.

"leaving so soon?" He asked with a a god awful smirk on his face.

You desperately tried to get Trevors attention but to no avail.

"I have a boyfriend," You said trying to free your arm from the mans grasp.

"Yeah, i've heard that one before, hasn't stopped me," He smirked even more.

"Let me go!" you argued. When the man only gripped your harm harder. You stepped closer to him, kneeing him in the groin. He quickly hunched over relieving your arm.

You went back to the group grabbing Trevors arm, "Trev!"

"what babe," He said annoyed.

You looked him dead in the eye about ready to slap the attitude out of him, "Can we please leave, that guy over there won't leave me alone and I feel so uncomfortable!"

"Maybe in an hour just stay over here," He said turning back to his conversation.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" You had raised your voice at this point. You angerly walked away. You spotted your brother at the bar getting a new drink.

"Jamie, will you please take me home," You said as your eyes began to slowly gaze over.

"Of course, what happened?" He asked as he led you over to the table to get your jackets.

"I don't wanna talk about it right now, please can I stay at your house tonight?"

He nodded taking your hand and leading you out of the bar.

Once you made it to Jamies apartment you explained what had happened to him.

"I swear, Trevor is a fucking idiot." Jamie said angered by his best friends actions towards you, "I'm gonna call him."

"Please don't Jaim," you looked at your older brother with pleading eyes.

"Alright, you sleep in my bed, I'll take the couch," he spoke softly.

"Thank you," You smiled hugging your brother before heading off to Jamies room.

-----

It had been about 2 hours before a wag mentioned your disappearance to Trevor.

"Hey, do you know where y/n is?" The wag asked Trevor.

"I don't know, she's around here somewhere." Trevor responded.

"We've all been looking for her, she's not here Z." The wag said in a serious tone this time.

"What do you mean she's not here." Trevor now began to worry.

He called you and texted you no answer.

He called Jamie and on the 5th ring it answered.

"What do you want Z?"

"Do you know where y/n is? No one has seen her."

"It took you two hours to realize I took her home? your an asshole Z you know that?"

"Why'd you take her home? Why is she at your place?"

"Are you that fucking clueless? She came to you with a legit problem and you ignored her, you ignored her the whole night."

"I didn't mean too" Trevor tried to defend himself but it was no help.

"Sure you did bud." and with that Jamie hung up.

Trevor quickly called and uber to head to Jamies and talk to you.

Once he arrived he knocked rapidly on the door til Jamie answered.

"She doesn't wanna talk to you." He said sternly.

"Please can I just see her?"

"It's okay Jaim." You said softly standing in the living room facing the door.

"Fine," Jamie rolled his eyes but followed your wishes letting Trevor in.

"I'll be in my room," Jamie said leaving to head to his room.

"baby, im so sorry, you know how I get after hockey games," Trevor argued.

"So your making excuses?"

"No forget I said that, Im so genuinly sorry I didnt listen when you told me about the guy, It was fucked."

He stepped closer to you, grabbing your hands, "Baby im sorry, please forgive me," He said looking at you with pleading eyes, "Let me take you back home."

You rolled your eyes before smiling, "Fine."

"thank god!" Trevor said before leaning down and kissing you. You pulled away smiling.

#trevor zegras #anaheim ducks #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras x y/n #trevor zegras x you #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras x drysdale!reader #trevor zegras fic #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #nhl fic #anaheim ducks imagines #jamie drysdale

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 3 months

Text

i explain india but i'm drunk.

Hello maggots of mine you're all such babygirls and bastards just like Aziraphale and Crowley. I'm so proud of you all for existing. Yes i'm a wholesome drunk you now know this about me. The wine tastes like rotten grapes and smells of battery acid and cost 245 rupees INR. Speaking of INR, thanks to a maggot's ask, I'm here to explain India. I've never set foot outside of this country. But I'm also very very shit at general knowledge.

To any non-Indians reading this, this is a totally legit 1000% everything covered all-inclusive summary. To any Indians reading this, I'm so so fucking sorry.

India, explained.

So there's south india and there's north india and there's north east india. north india is very racist about south india and they're both very racist about north east india. Most of these people are also probably racist either to other countries or they have internalised racism. It's a wild trip.

There are. A lot of languages here. And a LOT of scripts. I can read two scripts, understand four Indian languages and speak in two of them (badly), and those two are not my native tongues. I cannot speak in my native tongues. It's basically English at this point. These aren't dialects, those are separate. Picture like, Europe, but more, in terms of how many languages.

Everyone hates each other which is valid for the entire planet honestly.

In south india we have a lot of coconuts. Like a lot. There are so many coconuts you have no fucking idea guys you cannot escape the coconuts. I was nearly killed by a shower of coconuts when I was 5 I escaped by one second.

There are also cows. People will tell you that you are being racist when you say India has cows everywhere. But it's true. Two weeks ago I had the pleasure to be stuck in a traffic jam. Next to the street barrier thing (what divides a street im too drunk for this) I saw a huge bull fucking HUMPING a cow. The vehicles just had to move around them. They were having sex right there.

If you're a middle class Indian kid, your career options are: doctor, engineer, scientist, CA, lawyer, government official or family disappointment.

Needless to say, I was going to be doctor and am now instead family disappointment. I'm babygirling so hard it's insane. The prodigal son.

It's very ace-friendly and heterophobic in the sense that you are not supposed to be exhibiting any sexuality whatever in a respectable household. Just shut up and give virgin birth already. But be married. That's crucial.

Oh yeah gay marriage isn't legal trans people are constantly othered by society and/or given no respect whatsover and we're just all vibing here this is totally not why I'm finishing a small bottle of cheap wine on a thursday past midnight alone in my room.

Foreigners are like a zoo species you see them you're instantly concerned like what are they doing outside the TV screens and then either people are normal (rarely), they run up and take photos or try to slip into conversation (more often than you'd think, even I've been guilty of the conversation thing as a kid) OR they start talking about how 'this western culture is ruining our culture'. Which is fair but honestly both the 'cultures' these people are talking about usually involve incredible amounts of bigotry and are more similar than they think.

I think the lesson here is that humans just suck as a species. Except for you maggots. I love you all and I will defend you with my life.

THE CHAAT. THE CHAAT IS INSANELY AMAZING. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CHAAT. I HAVE NO SPICE TOLERANCE SO I HAVE TO BEG ON MY KNEES FOR THE SPICES TO BE REDUCED BUT STILL. THE CHAAT. THE CHAAT, YOU GUYS. YOU NEED IT.

Sorry yes I'm normal. ALSO THE STREET DOGS. THE INDIES. THEY'RE SO LOVELY AND SWEET AND CHAOTIC AND I KEEP TALKING TO THEM. Once when I was crying I made the dog distress while and like five dogs that I didn't know came running to me and comforted me and licked me.

INDIAN DANCE MUSIC. I FUCKING LOVE IT IT'S INSANE. My family were elitist as fuck so I never got to listen to Bollywood music as a kid but it's AMAZING I'm so glad it exists. Bhangra too.

Beaches very very pretty hills very very pretty honestly the nature is fucking beautiful if you can just quickly pretend humans don't exist, which again is true of this entire planet. Yeah. Okay I'm so fucking drunk.

Yeah lots of diversity which is very nice when the humans aren't screaming at each other about it but the rest of the time it's very nice

The garbage and sewer stories? yeah they're all true im sorry

Traffic rules more like traffic suggestions amirite

Well, we still have far better healthcare access than america. so. there is that.

If you speak English well you'll be mocked and isolated. If you speak English poorly you'll be mocked and isolated. Honestly, just be rich. That'll fix it all.

All the conservatives hate each other and don't realise they're the exact same but in like different flavours.

Oh yeah we have auto rickshaws. Look them up. They're so much better than cars I don't get motion sick as easily in them. But the drivers all hate you and never want to take you anywhere.

Eyyyyyyyyyy it's so fucking fun here *drinsk more alcohol* I am so fucking not looking forward to college.

Please someone crowdfund me out of here let's all go chill in Alpha Centauri I've heard it's nice this time of the year.

I will, however, miss the casual live cow pornos. A true highlight.

[I got this peer-reviewed by my friend in India's top law school, just in case, because I'm too drunk and generally dumb. They say I will not be killed. And they've been on Twitter so.]

Irrefutable legal proof y'all. I don't mean to offend anyone except bigots. Fuck you, bigots, if you're not offended then I've disappointed my community.

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